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Valentine’s Day.
A day celebrated by the Dahnans of centuries past. It was a day of love, of kindness, of friendship. People would spend the day prior working to make the best confections and chocolates to be handed out the following morning to those eager to express their thanks. There would be groups of friends or families gathered around campfires or in their homes, reminiscing about how they had met, how they had fallen in love, how everyone had shaped their future. It was a time to be thankful, to be honest about feelings, and it sounded as if the day was the most peaceful out of the year.
Rinwell shut her book with a loud bang.
Please.
Sometimes, she hated history. While it was nice to know how her people had lived all those years ago, a lot of things didn’t make sense. Like the Valentine’s Day holiday. What did she have to be grateful for? She didn’t have a family to be happy with, or a friend to give candy to as a sign of thanks. All she had was Hootle, and even then, she was kind to him every day. She was sure those living in supposed “happier times” would have turned their swords on anyone without any real provocation.
Sometimes, history just like to glamorize the good (or the bad) and leave the normalcy of daily life to the reader.
Still, Rinwell liked to think she had changed quite a bit in the last year or so. She lost her family, sure, but she was still surrounded by people who she viewed as family. They were her friends. She was thankful to have them in her life. It may not have been the easiest of paths, nor the best of options for someone her age, but she was happy.
Then, she began to worry that they didn’t truly know. With the words from her book in mind, Rinwell never gave anyone chocolate or candy to say thank you. She never went out of her way to buy a gift for someone just so she could see a smile. While the acts were likely not needed, and no one but her knew about the tradition of old Dahna, she doubted the others would be unappreciative of the thought.
As a history buff, she thought it her responsibility to revive old traditions from pages on the books and back into present day life.
“Whatcha readin’?”
Rinwell jumped slightly in her seat, turning her head to find Law sitting on the crate beside her. It wasn’t uncommon for her to be pulled into a book and have him interrupt her. It took her some time to get used to it (she may have threatened him early on in their travels), but now it was almost expected. A quiet, gentle reminder that she wasn’t alone anymore.
“A book,” was how she replied to him, because any time he sat too close to her, she got nervous. She fought that nervousness by feigning annoyance. Her tone may have been a little too bitter, even to her own ears.
But if there was one thing she liked about Law (aside from the fact he was kind of cute), it was that he never left her side when she was like this. Maybe deep down, he knew her true intentions were never to scare him off.
To make her grow more uncomfortable, Law chuckled. “I see that.”
It was the usual time when she would break down that barrier and talk to him. “Just a history book. It mentioned some weird traditions and ideas behind them. Some of them were pretty interesting, but, in our day and age, it would be impossible to recreate them.” She sighed as her eyes dropped to the book on her lap. “Sometimes, I’m envious of how easy they seemed to have it.”
Rinwell never used to be one for voicing her thoughts, especially around Law, but that was another thing she was learning and getting better at. She didn’t have to keep secrets, or worry they would take her words and use them against her, or cut her down when she felt she was already weak enough. She had also learned that Law wasn’t all that childish and ignorant as she had once labelled him as. It was nice to talk to someone her age with a similar backstory and understanding of her anger and pain.
“Eh, I don’t know about that.” He dropped his forearms to his knees, then slowly turned his head to look over at her. The dorky little grin he wore made her turn her eyes back to the fire flickering in front of her.
Why was he the only one who could make her feel so…odd?
“After all,” Law continued, completely unaware that she was trying her hardest to breathe. “We may have had a rough road to walk down, but, they weren’t lucky enough to be able to walk down it with you.”
He said it so proudly and honestly and Rinwell could only stare into the fire, her mind one giant mess. She was reading too much into his words. She was still thinking too much about that stupid Valentine’s Day holiday. He really meant to say “with all of us” rather than just “you”. Any second now, he would realize what he had said and he would correct himself. He always did.
“S-Sorry…” Rinwell exhaled deeply at the sound of his voice. “I-I meant…w-with all of us! I-I’m sure they never got the chance to walk side-by-side with…with cool people.”
She didn’t know if she wanted to shut him up because she was extremely upset with him or because she understood what he was trying to say. She opted to change the subjects all together. “Are you keeping watch tonight, then?”
There was a small stab to her heart (that only happened around him) when he dropped his head with a frown. “Yeah, I guess I can.”
Rinwell was never the person to lift people’s spirits when they were down, but she sure as hell was great at making him go from happy to sad. She would have to work on that. He was a good friend. It made her feel terrible when she knew she was the reason his smile left his face.
Instead of saying she was sorry, or saying any of what she was feeling earlier, Rinwell wished him a good night, grabbed her book, and set up her bed on the opposite side of the fire from Law. As Hootle got comfortable next to her, she wondered if maybe this was why their ancestors had made such a stupid tradition all those years ago. Maybe gifts were easier to understand than words. Maybe giving chocolates and sweets to friends were more symbolic than she had first thought. It would be kind of nice to see all her friends smiling because of something she had learned from her history book.
Rinwell knew she couldn’t pass up the opportunity when their group reached Cysloden the next afternoon. She knew exactly where to go for the best sweets. It was a quiet little shop she had stumbled upon long before she made the travel to Calaglia. It was run by a kind old lady who oftentimes let Rinwell watch her work and try a few samples of her latest batch. She felt safe there, and it made her think of her parents, her home, and memories of a life that was slipping away from her the more years went by.
To her excitement, the old lady still had her doors open for those who knew how to find her. Rinwell had only made a comment to Kisara that she would be visiting an old friend before she took off towards the unmarked alleyway and the unlocked door. The woman looked up from her steaming pot and beamed at her, then waved her over like a year hadn’t passed since the last time Rinwell had visited.
Maybe it wasn’t such a farfetched idea that she could bring back a tradition like Valentine’s Day. Surely the old shop lady would love to help her in her quest. She did have the best sweets in the world. She deserved to be recognized for that.
So Rinwell came clean to the woman, explaining to her about what she had read, why she was suddenly serious about it, and if the elder would be interested in helping her. The woman’s smile warmed Rinwell’s heart and made her feel like she was on top of the world.
“I’ll be sure to have the best batch of chocolates ready for you to give to the boy you love.”
The cup of tea Rinwell had been holding fell from her hands. How did the woman get any of that from what she had said?! Love? Boy!? Rinwell wanted to just spread happiness and kindness (with the added bonus of sweets), not give said sweets to a boy!
She was so horrified that she opened her mouth to say as much, but her words died on her tongue.
There was no way the woman knew she had a slight (very slight!) crush on Law! There was no way! There was no way the woman knew that Rinwell may have thought about giving him something as a way to express that she cared about him (a little!). She wanted to give something to all her friends! To say thank you! Not just to him, and surely not to say I love you!
She threw her hands to her face, suddenly regretting ever stepping foot inside the shop and opening her mouth at all.
Not even ten minutes later, Rinwell felt her hands being pulled from her face and a box was placed into her palms. The shop lady smiled happily at her, then patted her once on the head. “The greatest gift anyone can receive from another is the simple gift of kindness. You have a beautiful heart, Rinwell. May you continue to touch the hearts of those who thought they were always alone.”
The box of sweets only grew heavier and heavier as she began making her way back to the inn. The shop lady was too nice to her. A beautiful heart? Her? She laughed bitterly at that. All she cared about for the longest time was vengeance. Now, it was history and taking care of Hootle. How was any of that noble? Or worth the friends that she did have, or the words from the woman she viewed as a grandmother…
Hootle cooed softly on her shoulder. She appreciated his actions.
Rinwell was at least able to place the box inside her bag before her friends had the chance to ask her where she had wondered off to. Her guilt kept her from saying anything to them, or even stopping them so she could present them with their gifts. Now that she thought about it, the boys probably wouldn’t be as appreciative of the gifts. Shionne was likely to be her best hope at seeing a smile. Kisara would probably be happy with the gift, but wouldn’t eat anything. Alphen would likely do the same. Dohalim may critique the desserts, since she was sure he had the finest of confections back at the palace.
And Law would probably give it back to her, since he didn’t like sweets and knew she did.
…What had she been thinking? This was a stupid idea.
They didn’t stay in Cysloden that night and made their way towards Ganath Haros. A few days went by with the weight of her terrible idea weighing heavily on her back, her spirit, and her heart. The only reason she decided to just hand them out to her friends had been because of the temperature change. Everything was going to melt, or the insects would start to swarm her. Her friends looked tired. And sugar was always a good source of quick energy…
Rinwell volunteered for guard duty that night. She wanted to hand each of them their own small cake or dessert, but she was too afraid of how they would react to such a stupid gift that she decided to lay them by their heads while they slept. As soon as they all had a small, wrapped gift that may or may not have been starting to melt, she ran back to her seat by the fire and threw her hands to her face.
Valentine’s Day wasn’t even a real holiday anymore, but she hated it. She would just have to get better about saying thank you rather than sneak around for some stupid sweets just to bring a smile to their faces.
Rinwell didn’t sleep that night, watching each one of her friends carefully so she could brace herself for their reactions. Kisara was the first one to wake up (not unusual), and Rinwell held her breath as the older woman stretched out her back, then noticed the bag by her hands.
Kisara’s eyes found hers through the lingering smoke of the fire. Rinwell tore her gaze away and began searching for Hootle. At one point, she thought she heard Kisara laugh, but then said nothing more.
Right as Kisara grabbed her fishing pole from their pile of equipment, Rinwell heard her voice. “That was very kind of you, Rinwell. Thank you.”
One, it wasn’t kind. It was stupid. She couldn’t even hand it to them while they were awake! Two, how did Kisara know it was her? Did that mean everyone else would know, too?
Kisara walked off with a smile, placing her gift into a pocket. Slowly, the others began to stir awake, and Rinwell tried to be less subtle about watching them so they wouldn’t know she had been a coward.
As she had expected, Shionne was the most impressed once she spotted the bag next to her. Alphen was more cautious about the contents inside, his eyes scanning the area for a culprit who was trying to kill them rather than a friend who wanted to thank him. Dohalim held his bag in the air, as if judging the wrapping rather than enjoying his gift.
And then there was Law. “Chocolate? Why would someone leave chocolate for us to find? I don’t even like chocolate.”
“Be careful. It could be an enemy trap.”
“This wrapping is so elegant in design, yet so simple. It’s clearly made by hand, but the materials are not something to be found in this area of the world.”
“I would just stop whining and appreciate it.”
“You can have mine then, Shionne.”
Sometimes, Rinwell hated the boy sitting across the fire. Was he seriously about to pass off his gift, the gift she gave to him, for him!? She watched in anger as Law threw the small bag of chocolate towards Shionne like he was disgusted with it. Because why wouldn’t he be? Why was she so surprised?
It stung. No one seemed to even care. Granted they would have reacted differently had she handed their gifts to them, it still made her feel stupid. She understood Alphen’s reaction. She should have known Law was going to get rid of anything sweet. She expected Dohalim’s criticisms. Shionne was the only one who seemed happy over some stupid thought she had days ago…
“This was such a wonderful gift, Rinwell. Thank you.”
“Yes. Thank you, Rinwell.”
Rinwell’s eyes moved from Dohalim to Shionne, both of whom gave her a kind smile. She soon felt all eyes on her, and all she wanted to do was become one with the ground and disappear. Kisara she could deal with finding out the truth, but Dohalim? And Shionne? How!? Did she wake them up on accident when she was walking around? Had they been asleep at all?
Dohalim cleared the air before she had the courage to ask. “These fibers are common to the zeugles found outside of Cysloden. The pattern in which they are woven together, I see the same in the clothing worn by its citizens. Such careful stitching and attention to detail has only been seen in Cyslodia.”
Rinwell almost rolled her eyes because of course Dohalim would notice the finer details she never even thought about.
“You disappeared for much of the afternoon the other day,” Shionne added. “Since Calaglia is too hot to keep chocolate from melting, or to keep any kind of sweet held together like this, Cyslodia would have been the only other stop on our travels you could have picked this up at.”
Maybe Rinwell needed to give her friends more credit.
“But what brought this on?”
Shionne’s question pierced her right through her soul. She wasn’t mad, or disappointed, just asking out of curiosity. Still, Rinwell didn’t want them to know, and yet, here she was, under the spotlight, left with no choice.
“The greatest gift anyone can receive from another is the simple gift of kindness.”
“I…” She fumbled with her hands, trying to steady her heart and sound twice as strong as she wanted to be. “I…I just wanted to do…something nice…”
Rinwell kept her eyes on the floor by her legs, terrified to see their reactions.
She got something much worse. “Ah, I recall a tradition from the ages of the Dahnan people who would give chocolates to those they loved, and cookies and cakes to those they viewed as family. I do believe you are familiar with it, as that book you were reading the other day detailed what was known as the Valentine’s Day tradition, yes?”
The world stopped around her. She felt her soul burn her from the inside out. She wanted to cast an arte that would obliterate their camp, Dohalim in general, and be powerful enough that she would pass out for several days.
Of course Rinwell had read that. And that was why she stupidly thought no one would know Law was the only one who had chocolate in his bag instead of a cake or a cookie or a sweet bun.
Now it was out there for all of her friends to see.
“Oh. Well then, thank you, Rinwell.”
Alphen’s genuine thanks did nothing to ease her humiliation. She almost felt sick to her stomach. Her head was spinning enough that as she came to her feet, she had to balance herself and stand still for a few minutes until her vision stabilized.
“I-I’m going…going to c-check on…on Kisara…”
And she turned on her heel before anyone could question the tears coming to her eyes.
Maybe now she could understand why no one in the last three hundred years had even bothered to reinstate Valentine’s Day…
Rinwell got far enough away from their camp and then fell against a nearby tree. Hootle floated next to her head, his wings flapping softly and giving her a sound to focus on. He was there, the only one who would never judge her for being stupid, or sentimental, or just trying to express an emotion she couldn’t name or understand and foolishly thinking chocolates would make it any easier!
“I’m such an idiot, Hootle…”
The tears burned her face. Her throat started to grow sore. Her hands hurt at her side. Her heart beat madly in her chest, an ever reminder that it was there and furious with her for even daring to open up to someone she liked…
Would she be able to face any of them again? Now that her secret was out in the open?
“Rinwell!”
She did not want to be found. Not right now. Maybe in a few days…
“Hey.”
She was forced off the tree and held by her shoulders so she wouldn’t fall over. “Don’t run off like that again. You scared the hell out of us.”
It was Law, because of course he would see her at her weakest and of course he would act like nothing had happened and he hadn’t ripped her heart into a million little pieces…
Knowing that, Rinwell planted her hands against his chest and shoved him back. “I’m just looking for Kisara.”
She really wanted to slap that concerned look from his face. “Kisara usually goes fishing in the morning.”
“I know that!”
He slowly took a step back, as if afraid she would bite his head off. “W-Well, the pond is the other way…”
…Oh.
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you so angry.”
Rinwell shook her head to try and focus. She couldn’t let her emotions get the better of her again. They had already cost her a perfectly valid excuse to be away from the party.
“Rinwell…”
“You don’t even know why I’m angry.”
To further emphasize it, she turned her back to him, letting Hootle perch on top of her head. She could have sworn the baby owl growled at Law. He deserved it.
“I don’t care why you’re angry, just that you are.” Rinwell wanted so badly to reach for her book and shoo him off like she used to do months ago, but she forgot her book back at the campsite. Damn her emotions…
She tried her alternative. “So leave me alone.”
When she heard Hootle’s growl deepen, Rinwell took a step forward. She was about to take a few more when Law brazenly grabbed her wrist from behind her. Hootle’s wings flapped faster, a warning, but Law chose to ignore it.
“Here.”
He pressed something against her hand, and when she grew curious enough to look, she noticed it was the same bag she had given him.
Her anger flared back to life. “I gave this to you! Then you gave it to Shionne! So give it back to her! I was stupid to think she wouldn’t have appreciated it more than you ever would!”
Without skipping a beat, he said, “I thought we could share it, y’know?”
He was either denser than she thought or he was asking to be murdered by a furious owl and a seething mage. “You want to share?”
“I know you think it’s pretty rude of me to hand this back to you knowing what it was supposed to mean, but what I don’t think you understand is that I don’t need this kind of stuff to know that you care.”
She was tempted, so tempted to punch him in the stomach.
But he caught her off-guard.
He hugged her.
She could only stand still, her brain unable to tell her muscles to move.
“I don’t want some tradition from the past to be the only time I can show you how important you are to me. I don’t want to be limited to one day, or one week, or one month. I don’t want it to be defined by chocolates or cookies or bread, because all that stuff goes away. A-And I don’t want you to…to ever go away.”
He took the wind right out of her lungs, and with it, that pent up anger towards him for being a stupid boy. Because he was right. The gifts would get old, they would get eaten, they would get thrown in the trash. Even if they were well-received, and given with honest intentions, it would disappear regardless.
The feeling she was feeling now, secured in his arms after such a touching thought, this was what she wanted to last and carry her into the years to come.
Rinwell finally had the strength to lift one of her hands to brush a finger under eyes. “I-I guess it would be better…t-to share it. Or you’ll get fat.”
She knew the barb landed where she wanted it to when he jerked back. “F-Fat?!”
She could feel her laugh all the way into her heart. And to think she wanted to murder him mere minutes ago. “I guess you can afford to pick up a few spare pounds,” she added with a poke to his stomach. “So long as you keep training day in and day out.”
“Right…” Law leaned back, but she was happy that he let his arms hang loosely around her. She wasn’t ready to leave that comfortable place just yet. “Says the person who eats her weight in ice cream and then sleeps for ten hours a day.”
At that, she pushed him hard enough he had to catch himself on a tree. “And I’ll keep doing what I want and eating what I want and you can’t stop me.”
Rinwell reached up to grab Hootle from the air, laughing softly to herself at how his feathers were sticking up and he was still growling. She patted his head, a mental communication to tell him everything was alright, then looked over her shoulder to the boy she hoped would stay a part of her life.
“And…t-thank you…Law…” She quickly turned away from him, the warmth in his eyes a little too much for her to handle at the moment. “W-We should probably get back to camp…s-so no one else has to worry.”
She didn’t need to hear his answer, but she knew he was right behind her. However, he stopped her before she could take two steps.
“Um, I-I uh, guess…happy Valentine’s Day…or…or something like that?”
This time when he placed the bag of chocolates into her hand, she gladly accepted it. “Maybe our ancestors were right, though. Keeping it to one day. Or they’d all be fat.”
He laughed at her pitiful joke, but it made her heart skip a beat, or two. “Good thing you didn’t live back then. You’d probably be in heaven.”
Her eyes fell back to the bag in her hand. “I’m glad I didn’t either.” Then, she braved looking up at him. “Or I wouldn’t be here with you.”
Rinwell wouldn’t want to endure another Valentine’s Day, but she was happy she had a good one to look back on.