Chapter Text
Ryujin, her hood pulled down to hide her hair, looked up to briefly contemplate JYP. Hundreds, thousands of times she had seen the building at this point in her life, and she didn't give it looks like this anymore. What was the point? It was practically like her second home. She knew it as well as she knew her own home.
She stopped contemplating it and stepped into it, compelled by her thoughts. “How will she be? All alone,” she thought bitterly. “Don't worry, I'm coming.” Jisu, Chaeryeong and Yuna were at their respective homes, enjoying the vacations around Seollal, with no need to come here. Ryujin herself had no obligation to be here either—and yet she felt she had to be there.
Already in the bowels of the place, walking with a not-very-slow-not-very-fast pace, Ryujin took off her hood and dusted her light brown hair so that it fell loosely around her shoulders. It was so short that it barely touched them.
In the dorm area, she glanced at TWICE's dorm. None of the nine girls were there. There was no one in the Stray Kids' either. Again, what was the point, having a home to go back to? “But she… she can't. Her home is 'too far away'.” Ryujin swallowed saliva to get the bitterness off the roof of her mouth.
In front of ITZY's bedroom, Ryujin hesitated. Would it be too obvious for her to be there just that day, February fourteenth? Would she notice? “Never mind. I'll just say I came because I had nothing to do.” Ryujin wasn't fooling anyone; she would spit out the truth as soon as she could.
She knocked on the door as a warning and entered. She made her way to the living room, lonely until the door to one of the rooms opened. The first thing Ryujin appreciated about Yeji was her blonde hair, as the leader only poked her head out. Her eyes widened like saucers at the sight of Ryujin.
“Ryujin! Hi,” she greeted, approaching Ryujin. She was dressed in pajamas.
Yeji's voice oozed enthusiasm, and Ryujin was thankful she still had her face mask on, for she hid her smile.
“Good morning, Yeji,” Ryujin said, taking off her jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. She walked further into the room and patted Yeji's shoulder as she passed her. “Hope everything is all right.”
“It is,” Yeji replied, not losing any of her happiness. “What are you doing here?”
“Ah, I'm just passing by,” Ryujin lied, heading to her room.
“Oh,” Yeji's incredibly disappointed interjection came from behind her.
Ryujin smiled. The pantomime would only last a little longer. Why? Because she loved teasing Yeji. Ryujin would make up for it later, of course. She was incapable of doing anything to hurt her beloved Yeji.
“Yeah,” Ryujin commented, turning on the room light, “I came to pick up something I left here. One of my favorite shirts, because I'm going on a date with someone today.”
“Ah.” Ryujin could almost touch the sadness in Yeji's voice. “Cool.” Yeji couldn't fake enthusiasm.
Ryujin rummaged through her closet, letting out a “Here it is” when she found what she was looking for. She spread out her shirt and turned to Yeji, biting her lip to suppress a smile, despite her face mask.
“What do you think?” she asked Yeji hesitantly. “It's nice, isn't it?”
Yeji looked down at the shirt, the corners of her mouth turned down slightly. Sorry, hold on a little longer.
Yeji's eyes sharpened as she narrowed them suspiciously. “It's pretty, but don't you wear that around the house?”
“That's right.”
Yeji's confused look almost made her laugh and ruin the performance.
“I don't understand,” Yeji said, shaking her head from side to side.
Ryujin approached her, throwing her shirt over her arm.
“I'm coming to stay with you, unnie,” she said, winking at the leader.
Yeji's eyes widened and she blinked several times, looking, in Ryujin's opinion, absolutely adorable.
“Ah, really? W-why?” Yeji mumbled, looking into her eyes.
Ryujin almost got lost in those eyes, but managed to dodge the spell.
“Because I want to,” she replied, smiling and waiting for her smile to reach her eyes. “I don't like to think that you're alone here.”
Yeji blushed and looked away. God, you couldn't get any more adorable. Sooner rather than later, Yeji looked at her again with a raised eyebrow.
“Don't lie to me!” she scolded her. “Don't play with me like that!”
“Sorry, sorry,” Ryujin said, raising a hand in defeat. “You know it's hard not to.”
Yeji snorted and left the room. In her green pajamas, she gave the impression of a sulky child. Again: endearing.
Ryujin chuckled and closed the door to make herself more comfortable.
“So,” Yeji's shout pierced the walls, “your date is with me, isn't it?!”
Ryujin choked and started coughing. She had forgotten that her words could be interpreted that way. Yeji's laughter made her smile between coughs.
~~~
“Let's make the meal together,” Ryujin proposed, already changed into more comfortable clothes, entering the living room.
Yeji's blonde head turned to her swiftly.
“Sure, why not,” she said, getting up from the couch and accompanying Ryujin to the kitchen.
“Do we have ingredients to make tteokguk?” Ryujin asked, opening and closing the cabinets.
“Why that?” Yeji asked back, but helping her look for the ingredients.
“You didn't eat anything special to celebrate Seollal, did you?” Yeji's silence was answer enough. “Well, we'll celebrate Seollal.”
“But it already happened.”
“But you didn't celebrate it.” Ryujin put down the black peppers she had grabbed from the counter and faced Yeji. “It's going to take a while, but…” She shrugged.
Yeji snorted and gave her a sidelong glance, but a smile tugged at her lips.
“You're stubborn,” she said, pulling a tray out of the refrigerator.
“I don't deny it,” Ryujin agreed. Yeji's chuckle lifted her spirits a thousand shades.
A while later, a couple of pots on the stove were steaming deliciously, while the rice cooker was quietly cooking the rice.
With nothing else to do but wait, Ryujin leaned against the counter, wiping her hands with a white handkerchief. Her attention fell on her blonde companion, who was frowning at the pots.
“It's not going to burn, you know,” Ryujin told her, mockingly.
“I know,” Yeji replied sticking her tongue out at she, moving away from the stove and mimicking her position.
They spent a few dozen seconds in silence, watching the steam from the pots rise and spread through the air. It was Ryujin who broke the silence:
“Have you been well?”
“Hum? Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I be?”
Ryujin shrugged, looking at the fire on the burners.
“Dunno. You've been alone for several days.”
“It's only been six.” Out of the corner of her eye, Ryujin saw Yeji wave a hand to play it down. “It's no big deal.”
You lie. Ryujin knew that gesture well; Yeji used it when she didn't want to worry anyone. However, Ryujin let it be. She would get the stones to talk before Yeji admitted that not going home was taking its toll on her mental health.
Ryujin felt her blood boil like the broth in the pots in front of her, and her gaze became so hard she could split stones with it. Yeji had gone months without visiting her parents, her relatives and her pets. That couldn't be coped with without some kind of consequence to oneself. She threw the handkerchief on the counter.
“I hate that those bastards won't let you go home,” she mumbled, clenching her fist.
“Don't swear and don’t insult managers,” Yeji admonished her. “Besides, there's a pandemic—”
“I don't care,” Ryujin interrupted, clenching her fist even tighter at her side. “We have several days off, and if you go straight from here to your house there shouldn't be any problems.” In a very low voice, she mumbled, “Fuck.”
Ryujin felt a hand rest on her arm and caress it. She turned her head toward the owner, meeting a calm gaze that soothed her. She relaxed her fist and softened her gaze.
“It's okay, Ryujin. That you're here makes up for those lonely days,” Yeji reassured in a soothing tone.
Ryujin looked at the pots again, feeling her cheeks heat up. She put her hand on top of the one Yeji had on her arm. It was soft as satin. Touching her was always so… pleasant.
“I'll come more often,” Ryujin promised, fixing her eyes on Yeji's slitted ones again.
Small, captivating dimples appeared on Yeji's cheeks as she smiled a joyful smile. Ryujin felt like poking them with her finger.
“Great.”
Ryujin swallowed saliva, which was a little hard for her as her mouth was dry. She gave Yeji's hand a squeeze before withdrawing her own. She racked her brain to say something else, but the beeping of the rice cooker saved her.
“I'll go,” Yeji said, removing her hand from Ryujin's arm, who immediately missed the touch.
She tied up the scraps of her courage. She had come to the bedroom full of it, but Yeji's smiles and glances had sapped it from her like waves eroding a rock, leaving her with only pebbles.
Would Yeji feel similar nerves to hers when they spoke to each other? Ryujin didn't know what names to call such nerves. It was very strange, but not unpleasant.
With the food ready, Ryujin was in charge of setting the table and Yeji was in charge of serving the dishes. They sat side by side and recited the prayers pertinent to the celebration. When they finished, Yeji put a hand to her nose and sniffed it.
“It smells like black pepper,” she complained, her nose wrinkling.
“It's a good smell,” Ryujin said. She took Yeji's hand, who didn't object, and sniffed, purposely exaggerating the sounds. “Yeah, they smell good.”
Yeji laughed and pulled her hand away.
“Good grief, Ryujin,” she said with a chuckle, picking up her chopsticks.
“I'm serious!” Ryujin insisted, mimicking her. “It's a nice smell.”
“I really wanted to kiss her hand,” Ryujin thought, disappointed. “Although it would have been weird.”
She wanted to, anyway.
~~~
Ryujin shivered as she stepped out of the bathroom in her room. It was freezing cold. Grumbling something about the Korean winter, she pulled on a pair of thick pink socks, and put on a comfortable, loose-fitting coat. She also put on a black woolen cap, which had been a gift from Yeji. Perhaps that was why it was one of her favorites.
Seeing that the blonde was not in the living room, she went into her room. She didn't knock; that kind of formality had been lost a long time ago. Inside the room, Yeji was combing her hair in front of the mirror, with a concentrated gesture. She stopped to give Ryujin a small but warm smile, which Ryujin reflexively returned. Ryujin closed the door behind her and leaned against it. Yeji's straight hair glistened in the yellowish light.
Ryujin opened her mouth with the intention of asking Yeji what she would like to do, but as she was thinking about her hair, she ended up saying, “Can I comb it for you?”
Yeji looked at her, somewhat surprised, and then looked at the comb. Ryujin was also surprised at herself, but she quickly regained her composure; dozens of times before she had helped one of the girls comb their hair.
“Will be more effective,” Yeji agreed, approaching Ryujin and holding out the brush. “It's hard to do it looking in a small mirror.”
Ryujin, with short hair, didn't find it difficult, but she supposed it was different with long hair. She sat down on the bottom bunk bed—which was the one Chaeryeong was using—and patted the spot next to her. Yeji sat up and turned her back to her, revealing her cascading blond hair.
Ryujin began brushing it, in comfortable silence. She pursed her lips slightly in concentration. Yeji's hair was soft between her fingers. And beautiful, just like its owner. Ryujin blinked: that last thought was intrusive.
“Did the food turn out well?” she asked in a casual tone, but biting her nails inside.
“Delicious,” Yeji replied calmly. “You asked me that before, though.”
“I just wanted to confirm,” Ryujin replied, camouflaging the relief in her voice with calm. To avoid Yeji's teasing, she changed the subject. “Shall we watch movies to pass the time?”
Yeji hummed thoughtfully. Ryujin bet Yeji’s eyes were closed.
“Sure,” the leader finally replied. “Romance?” she asked mischievously.
Ryujin's eyes bugged out. That particular day? Still, the idea was appealing, and she didn't know why. And what's with that tone?
“Works for me,” she agreed. “It's been some time since I've seen anything like that.”
The pair lapsed into silence again. Ryujin was careful not to accidentally pull a knot, running her fingers through Yeji's hair gingerly first. This dusted the apple-scented fragrance of the shampoo, which Ryujin inhaled gladly. All of Yeji exuded perfection.
“—wrong?”
Ryujin gasped, meeting Yeji's eyes giving her a quizzical look.
“What's wrong?” Yeji repeated.
“What's wrong with what?” Ryujin answered, lost.
“You've been running your fingers through my hair for several seconds, without using the comb.”
“For real?” Ryujin cursed to herself. You fool! Weirdo. “It's just that I remembered something and I space out thinking ’bout it.” She calibrated Yeji's hair to avoid looking at her face. “Anyway, it's ready now.”
She could almost feel Yeji's amused smirk, but the girl didn't say anything related to that.
“I owe you one!” was what she said, patting Ryujin's arm before getting up.
Ryujin followed her with her eyes. Yeji opened the top drawer of the nightstand, pulling out something long and square. Only when Ryujin had it in front of her did she realize what it was: boxed chocolates.
Ryujin gagged and jumped to her feet. She shot a stunned look at Yeji, who was staring at the box with furiously burning cheeks.
“I was planning to give this to you when I saw you,” the leader spluttered. “I didn't expect it to be just today! It just, you know, happened to be that chance and—”
“Thank you,” Ryujin mumbled, taking the box with calm fingers. They brushed Yeji's, sending a surge of electricity up her arm. “That's very c-cute of you.” She congratulated herself for not mumbling so much. So much was the key word.
Yeji took the comb—which Ryujin forgot he was still carrying in her hand—and walked over to the dresser, turning her back to Ryujin, all too quickly.
“Fine. I'll take my sheet for the living room,” was what Ryujin heard her mutter.
“I'll go turn on the TV and stuff,” Ryujin said, slipping out of the room and feeling her ears like two burning embers.
As Ryujin worked on it, she gave a thousand thoughts to the gift resting on the glass table between the television and the large sofa. “It was a coincidence, nothing more. If she had given it to you on, don’t know, the twentieth, you wouldn't be overthinking things.” Yet years and years of knowing Valentine's Day traditions gnawed at her calm. Her heart fluttered profusely at the sight of the box. Nevertheless, she felt very happy.
When she finished, Ryujin shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she fingered her hair. She shivered—the air was really cold, as the day had been cloudy, as she remembered before entering the building—so she went to get her sheet. When she returned, Yeji was already curled up on the couch, covered by her snowy, thick sheet.
Ryujin turned off the lights, leaving only the large television to illuminate the living room, and settled down on the other end of the couch. She curled up in her bluish sheet, controller in hand.
Yeji and she argued over which movie to watch, and in the end settled on The Vow. Ryujin vaguely remembered seeing it and Yeji had never seen it, so it was as good a choice as any.
Half an hour of watching and commenting on the movie later, Yeji exclaimed, “Too much cold!” she complained. “I guess the sheet isn't thick enough, but it's the only one I have…”
“You've always been cold,” Ryujin commented. A pleasant idea crossed her mind, and she caught it and proposed it aloud, “Let's put the sheets together.”
Yeji didn't object, and soon after the girls covered themselves with the double blanket. Yeji moved closer to Ryujin’s end of the couch due to the size of the blanket, and that's when Ryujin thought: fuck it.
“Here,” she said, patting the spot right next to her. “It'll be less cold if you, uhm, you sit next to me.” She didn't look away from the screen; it gave her enough courage to avoid mumbling like a schoolgirl.
“For real?” Yeji sounded hesitant but excited.
Is it possible that—? No, sure it was her imagination.
“Yeah, come,” Ryujin confirmed, patting the couch again.
Yeji promptly took her place beside Ryujin. A few minutes later, she leaned against Ryujin's left arm. The short-haired girl tensed involuntarily, but relaxed within seconds. Yeji was taller, but managed to look smaller, there next to Ryujin.
Ryujin's heart was pumping a little faster than normal. It didn't help that Yeji laid her head against Ryujin’s shoulder. It didn't help at all. Ryujin could feel the leader's hair close to her face. In fact, if she tilted her head to that side…
Very slowly, Ryujin leaned her cheek against Yeji's head. The girl's hair was soft as a blanket, and Ryujin had to suppress the urge to rub her face against it like a cat.
To be honest, Yeji was making it difficult to pay attention to the movie. As if she knew Ryujin was struggling to put her concentration on the screen, Yeji wrapped her arm around Ryujin's, imprisoning it against her body. Oh, that was bad.
“Yeji…”
“Yes, Ryujin-ah?”
“No Ryujin-ah,” she pleaded to the universe, in her inner self. “Gee, I may be all seductive on stage, but this girl takes me apart like LEGO. And she can also put me together at will.”
“Nothing,” Ryujin said aloud. Not stuttering was an accomplishment. “Still cold?”
Yeji hummed, making Ryujin's body vibrate slightly. She could fall asleep like that, with that buzzing and warmth the leader gave off. Her leader. Hers.
“But, girl!” she scolded herself, scandalized. “Stop thinking such strange things!”
“No, I'm fine now,” Yeji replied as she stopped buzzing like a bee. “And you? I can hug you tighter, if you're still not warm enough,” she proposed, as if offering Ryujin a piece of bread.
Oh my.
“I'm ok, don't worry,” Ryujin said quietly. Unexpectedly and despite her self-consciousness, she rubbed her cheek against Yeji's hair. “Your hair is so soft,” she purred.
She purred.
What the hell was wrong with her?! There was no way to fix it. She coughed a little and cooed surreptitiously, her ears feeling like torches. A little more and she could light up the room with them.
“I'm glad you like it,” Yeji commented with, Ryujin would be struck by lightning if she was wrong, a hint of shyness.
Ryujin made a surprised expression. Wasn't Yeji going to tease her? Or something like that? A “What do you say, Ryujin? I knew you were weird, but not that weird” kind of line? It seemed Ryujin wasn't the only one with an erratic attitude that day.
Minutes passed, and the dizzying nerves subsided just a little. Ryujin didn't know what they wanted—she didn't know how to calm them down. “What do you want from me? she wondered to herself. “Push Yeji away? Bring her closer?”
“That you embrace her,” they answered, pressing.
Gritting her teeth to keep them from shaking, she put her arm around Yeji's shoulders, resting her hand on the older girl's arm. Yeji didn't say a peep.
Ryujin didn't understand the reason for her own attitude. How many times had she and Yeji cuddled, without any sign of awkwardness? More than she could count, but lately Ryujin was getting very nervous when it happened. They weren't bad nerves—she didn't think—but they were certainly abnormal.
The minutes passed in silence again, and Ryujin listened both to the voices coming from the television and to her own heart, which was beating louder than it needed to. Damn nerves: they hadn't gone away.
“I had a craving for snack,” Yeji suddenly commented, sounding like a little girl.
Ryujin let out a giggle.
“When don't you, Yeji-ah? You live on snacks.”
Yeji threw a weak punch at her trapped arm.
“Exaggerated,” she snarled.
Laughing to herself, Ryujin rested her gaze on the box of chocolates on top of the glass coffee table. Muttering an apology, she leaned toward it.
“Let's try this,” she said, uncovering the box. There were chocolates of different sizes and flavors. “Which one do you want?”
“It's yours, Ryujin.”
“But I want to give you. Which one do you want?”
Yeji smiled as if to say What can I do?
“If there's white chocolate, that is,” she said, straightening up beside Ryujin.
It took Ryujin a while to locate one of the aforementioned—mostly because of the lack of light, but also because having Yeji so close caused interference between Ryujin’s neurons—but, as soon as she saw them, she took three and gave them to Yeji. Their fingers brushed; an action Ryujin would have overlooked before. But not now, she ruminated on the small contact.
“Thank you, Ryujin-ah,” Yeji said cheerfully.
“You're welcome, Yeji-ah,” Ryujin muttered, taking dark chocolates for herself.
As soon as she leaned back against the couch again, Yeji returned to her old position, wrapping her arms around Ryujin's arm and resting her head on Ryujin’s shoulder. It was incredibly nice to have her so close…
“They're delicious,” Ryujin commented after a while, when she had eaten two chocolates.
“Yes? These too. You should try them.” Yeji's voice, calm and cheerful, was pleasant to hear.
“Guess I'll look for some in the box,” Ryujin said.
She made to bow again, but Yeji stopped her by putting her arm around her front.
“Don't move so much,” she chided.
“I've been standing still like a statue all this time,” Ryujin complained.
“Hey... it's true,” Yeji agreed, surprised. “You're kind of tense. Why?”
Because of you. It's not as if she had never been sharing the couch with Yeji, or as if they had never cuddled together, but for a while now Ryujin had been aware of every little brush between the two of them when it happened, every tiny touch between their skins.
“Well, I exaggerated a bit,” Ryujin muttered, scratching her head. She was mumbling a lot today. “It's—” It's nice to have you around, she was about to confess, but interrupted herself when she looked at the box of chocolates.
“Those chocolates hold up for weeks,” Ryujin reflected in her mind.
“Yeji.” She said the name slowly.
“What?”
“You could have kept the chocolates and given them to me another day than today.” The pronunciation of the last word made it clear what Ryujin meant.
Yeji didn't answer right away, and Ryujin didn't prompt her. Perhaps she was overthinking the blonde's action. Willing to forget about it so as not to make the situation awkward, she concentrated on the movie. In half an hour or so it would be over.
“You could have come tomorrow, Ryujin,” Yeji sighed, “or the day after. You know that for one more day alone I wasn't going to die. But you chose today.”
Touché.
“It's friendship day,” Ryujin replied calmly, though inside she was storming.
“And that's why you came?” Yeji's tone implied that earlier she would believe that dragons existed and flew free in Seoul.
“No, I came because they pulled a gun on me and threatened to blow my brains out if I didn't,” Ryujin sputtered, rolling her eyes.
To her surprise, Yeji let out a chuckle, peeling her head off Ryujin’s shoulder.
“I'm not going to get the truth out of you explicitly, am I? No, of course not. Your name is not Ryujin for nothing.” Ryujin heard a rustling sound, like paper, so she turned to see what it was. Yeji was holding a white bonbon in her hand. “Here, taste it.”
Ryujin opened her mouth, ready to ask her what the hell she meant by her name not being Ryujin for nothing but instead she gave Yeji a distrustful look, first at her smile, then at the chocolate. Shrugging, Ryujin made a move to take it, but Yeji pushed it away, smiling wider.
“Let me give it to you.”
Well, Ryujin wasn't expecting that. Bleary-eyed, she waited for Yeji to say that it was a joke, but Yeji didn't. She just kept looking at her with a mysterious smile.
“O-okay,” Ryujin stammered at last.
Yeji brought the candy to her lips. Ryujin sunk her teeth into it and buzzed to tell Yeji she could let go, which Yeji did. But not before touching her upper lip fleetingly, hitching Ryujin's breath.
Ryujin savored the chocolate, grateful that it made her salivate. Her mouth felt dry as a desert.
“Very tasty,” was her verdict. She took the one still left in her fist and unwrapped it. “These are good, too.”
“I'll have to try it.”
Ryujin understood perfectly what Yeji wanted her to do. Smiling slightly, Ryujin brought the chocolate to her mouth. She didn't touch her lip; instead, she touched Yeji’s nose, right where her mole lay. Yeji let out a giggle and Ryujin smiled wider. She felt light, like she was floating.
She was about to turn to look at what was left of the movie, but Yeji put a hand on her shoulder. Ryujin looked into her eyes, finding them self-conscious but firm.
“I'll tell you the truth,” she said quietly, “if you do the same.”
Jesus.
Ryujin nodded, fiddling with the sheet.
“You go first,” she asked Yeji, her voice slightly shaky.
“Mine's pretty obvious, I think,” Yeji said after a few seconds of just looking into each other's eyes.
“I knew it!” Ryujin celebrated quietly.
Yeji punched her in the arm, softly.
“Idiot.”
“Sorry. Could you s-say it, anyway? I don't want to make a mistake.”
“Oh, Ryujin-ah,” Yeji sighed, looking away. Despite the dim lighting, Ryujin noticed Yeji's cheeks redden a couple of shades. She felt like touching them. Yeji looked at her again before saying, “Yes, I did it with that intention in mind.”
Ryujin let the revelation float around them, mostly because she was too stunned to respond. Did she really—Yeji?
“Now you,” Yeji continued. “Why did you come here just today, Ryujin?”
The answer was just as revealing to Ryujin as it was to Yeji.
“I wanted to spend the Day of Love with you, Yeji,” Ryujin replied, looking into her leader's eyes.
Yeji looked away, smiling a relieved smile.
“I knew it,” she repeated Ryujin's earlier words, eliciting a shake of the head from the aforementioned.
“Then…”
Yeji turned her body towards Ryujin, fiddling with the sheet.
“Ryujin, could you give me another chocolate?”
Ryujin inhaled deeply, not responding. Her next movements were methodical. Until that moment, she hadn't realized how she really felt towards her friend.
Ryujin looked away and focused her gaze on the box of chocolates. Yeji was to her a great, great friend. She trusted her with every ounce of her being, for that was the least Yeji deserved. The leader was just that, a leader. Ryujin could always tell Yeji her problems, being sure that Yeji would help her. Did she doubt her own dancing skills? Yeji would give her advice and train with her, stern but fair. Ryujin wasn't convinced by her singing? Yeji would teach her exercises to polish it. You could always lean on Yeji.
She leaned into the box. Beyond that, Yeji had a golden personality. Smart, hardworking, shrewd, unwavering, eloquent, she always had the right word to lift your spirits. Ryujin and she had hit it off quickly soon after meeting—like a sword and its sheath.
She picked up a white chocolate bonbon, its wrapper whispering softly as it crinkled. Ryujin couldn't tell at what point she started thinking about Yeji the way she did now. She had told herself that it was normal to feel so… fascinated by Yeji. At the end of the day, Yeji is fascinating. Impossible to miss. Spending hours thinking about her, like Ryujin did, was normal. Well, now she saw that it wasn't. At what point did her feelings change? At what point did they transmute from silver to gold? Ryujin found that difficult to answer. What she was sure of was that, from a certain point on, every hug she shared with Yeji was cause for celebration, and that every smile the blonde gave her was worthy of framing.
She leaned back again, the sheet tangled in her lap. If pressed, Ryujin would say their friendship was platonic. Physically, Yeji had dazzled her within the first few months of meeting. Later that was not enough, so she looked at who Yeji was. Then it was Yeji’s soul that dazzled her. A beautiful woman, with the purest, most precious soul in the world.
She unwrapped the bonbon, whose wrapper crackled. How absent-minded she had been. Of course, it wasn't normal for her mouth to go dry at the sight of Yeji smiling and showing those little dimples in her cheeks. Of course, it wasn't normal to see those slit eyes and want to idolize them. Of course, it wasn't normal to feel rabid—to the point of audibly grinding her teeth—at the thought of Yeji here, alone, unable to visit her family. Ryujin was capable of lowering the Moon just to see Yeji happy.
She broke the chocolate in two, giving half to Yeji. Wow, her hands were shaking with excitement and anticipation. She didn't feel this for anyone else. No one else did she profess such “affection” for as she did for Yeji. What a blind girl I've been.
She turned her body towards Yeji, who was looking at her expectantly. She looked so adorable, with her homely clothes and her blonde hair loose, cascading down her shoulders.
She looked into her eyes. Oh, looking into those wonderful eyes, it dawned on Shin Ryujin that she was so fucking in love with Hwang Yeji. Who can tell?
Ryujin gave her half of the bonbon to Yeji, who at the same time gave her to the short-haired girl. Yeji brushed her lips silently again, and Ryujin touched her nose again, only there was no laughter this time. The atmosphere was tense. But it was okay—said tension would be broken when they finished chewing the white chocolate.
Yeji slid closer to her—as if she had even been far away—leaving their faces an inch apart. Yeji’s eyes, which could be frightening at times, had a gentle gleam in them instead.
“You had a good eye for chocolates,” Ryujin commented, not taking her eyes off Yeji.
“Thinking of you compelled me to be a perfectionist,” Yeji replied, so close to her face.
Ryujin wasn't even listening to the television at this point. She couldn't see past the wonderful human being sitting next to her. Her heart was beating fast, but her nerves no longer bothered her—she welcomed them.
Ryujin swallowed. She was grateful that the chocolate made her salivate; she needed it. She looked at Yeji's heart-shaped lips, and licked her own. She looked Yeji in the eyes again and closed the distance between them. She rested her forehead on Yeji's, who rested a hand on top of hers.
“Just to be clear,” Ryujin said, breathing heavily, “the answer is 'yes'.”
Yeji let out a relieved sigh. She was just as nervous as Ryujin, it seemed.
“Perfect, Ryujin.”
One of Ryujin's hands grabbed Yeji's jaw and the other got lost in her hair. Yeji put her hand on Ryujin’s neck, slowly caressing it, sending pleasant shivers down Ryujin's spine. Their breaths mingled, danced together.
Ryujin wanted to touch Yeji's soul but, as it was impossible, she touched her lips. Her mind short-circuited, exploded, unmade and made again, all in the same instant. Yeji's lips were perfect; they matched her. Maybe they were made to fit like that? Ryujin had no doubt.
Yeji's mouth tasted like dark and white chocolate. Ryujin made sure to taste it very, very well, cocking her head to the side. Yeji kept leaving warm trails on the skin of her neck with her fingers, and Ryujin did the same to her leader's jaw. The breaths became a little more labored, but they didn't pull away. Not yet.
Ryujin opened her eyes for a second. Yeji was so close that she could detail the shape of the mole on her nose perfectly. She closed her eyes again as the kiss was still in progress.
Ryujin moaned quietly as Yeji ran her tongue across her lips. The taste of chocolate was intoxicating, but Yeji's own taste was addictive. Yeji was keeping up with her—or she with Yeji, it was impossible to determine—lifting her to another plane where only the two of them existed.
It might as well have been ten seconds or ten hours; Ryujin's perception of time was not at its best.
They parted with a wet snap, breathing rapidly through their noses. They kissed again. And again. And again. And again. The movie ended and left everything in darkness, but neither needed sight. Only touch. Feeling Yeji's skin under her fingers and her tongue tangled with Yeji's was enough.
Hands traveled a lot, too. A while on the hair, another on the neck, then on the arms, then on the cheeks, back to the hair, whether it was blonde or light brown. In any of those places, they were welcome. In any of these places, they were needed.
Sometimes Yeji would lean toward Ryujin, who would recoil. Then Ryujin would lean against Yeji, spurred on by spilling whatever was exploding in her chest. Were they consciously taking turns? Hard to say for, outside of the thought called kissing, it was all nebulous.
Liquid fire coursed through Ryujin's veins, dynamites exploded in the chambers of her heart. “Euphoric” was the word that described how Ryujin felt.
The nebula was clearing, clearing, little by little. With lungs burning from lack of air and lips swollen, both girls parted for good.
The main menu of the television potently illuminated the couch, allowing Ryujin to admire the work of art that was Yeji. The curious thing was that somehow Ryujin had ended up on top of Yeji, who lay on the couch. The sheet was tangled between their bodies. Ryujin had no fucking idea how they ended up like that.
That question was relegated to oblivion, for Yeji—Oh, Yeji. Her cheeks were flushed, her cat-like eyes oozing with intense emotion, and her hair was sprawled across the couch. Lips, half-open and red, let the air escape, crashing directly into Ryujin's face. Finally, her hair was sticking to her face in several places. It had all been more intense than Ryujin had supposed.
“Wow,” Yeji gasped.
“Wow,” Ryujin repeated, unable to come up with anything witty.
She lovingly brushed the hair off Yeji's forehead.
“One last question,” Ryujin said after a comfortable, recuperative silence. “What would have happened if I hadn't thought of coming today?”
Yeji gave a knowing smile. “I knew you would come today.”
Ryujin arched her eyebrows.
“Oh yeah? You think highly of yourself.”
“No, I just knew you'd come,” Yeji replied, tracing Ryujin's jawline with her index finger. “In the unlikely event that I was wrong, there were other ways to get your attention.”
“You've always had my attention,” Ryujin defended herself.
Yeji raised an incredulous eyebrow.
“Thank goodness, otherwise you never would have kissed me.”
Ryujin had the decency to blush.
“I've been blinder than a mole,” she lamented. “Yeji, there were—”
“There were other things to keep an eye on,” Yeji interrupted her, but her tone was not reproachful, simply stating a fact. “I know, Ryujin.”
“Well, yes, that,” Ryujin said, reaching for Yeji's hand. She intertwined her hand with Yeji's and placed a kiss on the back of it, looking intently into her eyes. “I love you, Yeji.”
Yeji laughed shyly, singsongy. Her eyes turned into crescent moons, and her cheeks appeared beautiful dimples. Ryujin didn't hold back and kissed them, earning giggles from Yeji. Ryujin's own dimples popped into view, and Yeji poked them with her finger.
“I love you too, Ryujin,” Yeji told her, stroking her cheeks.
Ryujin left a kiss on Yeji’s forehead before pulling away, licking her lips. They were swollen and tender, and it seemed right that they should be.
“Let's watch another movie,” Yeji proposed, straightening up next to her. “I want to cuddle with you.”
“We agree on that,” Ryujin replied, taking control and curling up on the couch.
Yeji was quick to comply. Ryujin slipped her arm around her shoulders and pulled Yeji against her, as Yeji hugged her sideways, resting her head on Ryujin’s shoulder. She inwardly celebrated the fact that no one would bother them that day or the next.
“Yuna will go crazy when she finds out,” Yeji said in a long-suffering tone.
“Imagine Jisu and Chaeryeong,” Ryujin laughed. “The first one is going to fuck from here to infinity, and the second one will never leave me alone.”
“I'll have to impose order on them,” Yeji said firmly, taking Ryujin's hand and playing with her fingers.
“That won't do,” Ryujin pointed out. Nothing, not even Leader Hwang's gaze, would stop the girls from teasing them from here to Peru.
“Bah,” Yeji dismissed with a wave of her hand. “We'll see what we'll do.”
While looking for some interesting movie, Ryujin commented, “What color will you dye your hair now?”
“Red,” Yeji answered after a thoughtful hum.
“God,” Ryujin blurted out as she imagined Yeji with such a color. “You're going to look even more beautiful.”
“Stop it!” Yeji sounded self-conscious, and Ryujin could imagine the color of her cheeks. “What color will yours be?”
“Blonde, I think,” Ryujin replied as she stopped chuckling.
“Please do,” Yeji asked. “It'll look amazing on you,” the leader purred.
Ryujin cleared her throat at the purr, eliciting a grin from Yeji.
At the beginning of the film's introduction, Ryujin leaned her head against Yeji's and closed her eyes. She rubbed against her hair, earning a chuckle from Yeji. Ryujin was never going to let go of her again for anything in the world.