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The day Kirishima’s earth shatters is ordinary, normal.
He’s in the middle of his morning routine when he gets a call from his roommate, his best friend.
Katsuki had been out on a month-long mission with his agency, along with Midoriya.
He’d always call him on his way home.
“Eijiro?”
“Hey man! What’s up? Home for the day?”
“Eijiro.”
And then Kirishima hears it. He hears the strain in his voice, the faint coughing he can’t hide.
There are shouts coming from the end of Bakugo’s call, gunshots, explosions.
“Eijiro. I love you.” Bakugo says, simply. Blunt and straightforward.
“Katsuki?”
“Eijiro. I’m…I got hurt pretty bad. I just. I just had to hear your…” he coughs, wet and loud. “Eij, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never...”
“Ei. Let me hear you, please?”
“So when are you coming home? You’re super close, right? Hey! I was thinking maybe we can cuddle like we used to in high school, you know. Since we haven’t seen each other in so long?”
He already feels the tears spilling down his cheeks, his throat shaking.
“I’ll go to the store so you can make that dinner you like. But, hey, what movie do you feel like watching tonight?”
Bakugo wants to get him to listen, to stop. Begging with his limited, breathless words.
“Eijiro? Are you listening to me? I—“ he coughs—wet, cruel, unfairly.
But, eventually he plays along, and Kirishima swears he can hear him smile as he does so.
He acts like he’s calling on his way back from his agency and that he and Kirishima simply have a plan to hang out as roommates, boyfriends.
As he lets out a particularly grueling cough, Kirishima hears,
“Kacchan? Kacchan!” Over the phone, tears thick in Izuku’s voice.
He hears a loud thump and then the line goes dead.
There's dead silence for days, no one has told him anything. No one has called him.
He knows why. He feels why. If Katsuki had been okay, he would’ve called him.
He lays numbly on Bakugo’s bed, taking in the scent of him before it’s gone completely. He wears his shirts, his hoodies, and finds out exactly how many Bakugo has stolen from him over the years. He eats all the food Bakugo says is off limits just to have the taste of him. He uses Bakugo’s shampoo, toothpaste, soap, his weird fancy laundry detergent. Just so he can close his eyes and pretend he’s locked in his embrace.
He’s freezing, possibly for the first time in his life. Even with his arms wrapped around himself.
It’s not the same, he’s so cold without him.
When he’s in the middle of a Mario Kart session, leaving out Bakugo’s controller, snacking on the last of his roommate’s favorite snacks, he says “Man, you’re beating me? You’re so good, bro!” He smiles, temporarily forgetting that the second player on the screen is just a CPU.
And that’s it, that’s what makes Kirishima cry. He hadn’t cried in weeks. He hadn’t let himself believe it’s been a month.
He still pretends that it’s that day and he’s waiting on Bakugo’s call.
Once he’s crying, he can’t stop. His throat runs ragged, his face heated. Skin disgusting from all the liquids running down his face.
He screams, loud and earthshaking. His hardened fists shatter and ache from the force of his hits to the ground.
His yells shatter his resolve.
He grabs at his throat, willing himself to stop. Telling himself that his roommate will kill him if they get another noise complaint. That Bakugo will wake up from his nap in the next room and scream at him for being so loud.
He apologizes, “I’m so sorry, Katsuki. I’ll try to stop. I’ll try.”
He doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but he feels a hand touch his face.
“You need to wake up, Shitty Hair. Why the hell are you on the floor, dumbass?”
He tries to move to touch him, but he stays numbly on the ground. He tries to talk to him, but he’s raw.
He feels the tears run down his cheeks, puddling around him as he mouths “Why? Why did you leave?”
And because his best friend, the love of his life, is so good at reading lips he says,
“What the hell do you mean? I’m right here?”
He feels a heat pool on his cheeks as Bakugo uses both hands to grab his face, the squeeze of his fingertips burning at the touch.
He feels himself shaking, aching with the need to talk to him, to hug him.
“Bakugo…” he mouths, “Katsuki. I love you. Please. Please. Please !”
The shaking grows, his body rocking back and forth and with a yell to his ear.
“Kirishima? Kirishima? Wake up, hey come on! Wake up! Please! Kirishima? You’re bleeding, please wake up!”
His eyes jolt awake, the view of Bakugo leaving.
As his eyes open, he is met with a view of green, a forest flooded with careful water.
“Midoriya?” He croaks.
“Kirishima!” He sighs. Midoriya looks breathless, face dirty with tears.
He picks him up from the ground and squeezes him tight.
“Kirishima. I need you to come with me, okay?”
He already knows where he’s going. But he refuses to see it. He refuses to see anything but his best friend walk through that door.
“We’ve been trying to call you. Is your phone dead?” Midoriya looks down at him with a gaze of worry, apologies and guilt spilling out of his tone.
He hadn’t bothered to charge it anymore, as he knew he’d never hear his favorite voice over the phone again. What was the point? The only person who called him was Katsuki.
“I’m really sorry, Kirishima. I tried so hard to get back quicker. But, it was risky to move Kacc—“
His heart stings at the name, “I don’t care.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t care.”
“Kirishima, I know it looks really bad right now, but you need to see him.”
Rage bubbles in his throat as he screams,
“What? You finally decided to tell me the truth?”
He releases himself from Midoriya’s hold.
“Keeping him from me for a month wasn’t enough? Now you have to come here and tell me what I need?”
Midoriya places a hand on his shoulder, but he brushes it off.
He knew he was nothing to Katsuki, but he was everything to him.
Didn’t he deserve the courtesy to mourn the man he loves the way he wanted? To come to terms with the fact that his best friend, the grand love of his life, was never going to come back?
Can’t he just stay here and pretend? Why does he have to shatter him further? Why?
“Come on, Kirishima. You need to go to the hospital to bandage your fists, and plus, you can see him there, okay?”
Kirishima doesn’t want to give in, but he knows he has to. His best friend would slap him upside the head and shout at him for being so weak.
As he sits numbly beside Midoriya in the backseat of his and Todoroki’s car, Midoriya sitting in the back to hold his good hand, he feels him.
He feels Katsuki as they get closer and he knows they’d be connected in this life for the next.
“You ready? Let’s go, okay?”
They step off the car and into the hospital, his stomach already pooling with fear, regret for coming out of his denial.
Midoriya tries to lead him to a doctor to get his hand bandaged, but he tells him no.
He needs to get this over with, to face what life has given him.
Midoriya nods, grabbing his better hand to lead him to the elevator.
He closes his eyes as they ascend, already feeling the tears punching at his gut. His very soul begins to shake as Midoriya runs soothing circles on the back of his hand.
When the elevator dings, he steps off and keeps his eyes on the ground. He wants to see the least he can.
“He’s right over here, okay? You okay?”
He shakes his head, not wanting to lie. There’s been plenty of that for a whole month.
As they walk into a door, Midoriya is greeted.
“Hey, Izuku. You’re back.”
He looks up immediately to see the sight of Bakugo’s mom. Her voice is so quiet and she looks so small with her husband giving her a one armed hug. Nothing like the larger than life woman he knows.
“Kirishima? Thank goodness.”
Her eyes flood with tears as he comes closer to where she’s sitting. He finally realizes they’re in a hospital room.
He doesn’t want to wonder when they’ll go someplace else.
So, he just hugs her. Hugs her so tight like she’s Katsuki himself.
His tears run silently as she hugs him just as tight, Katsuki’s father placing a hand on his head.
He doesn’t know how long the three stay in their embrace, but they pull apart at the click of the door.
A nurse with a clipboard and a smile comes into the room. He can’t believe she’s smiling, like the world itself hadn’t imploded.
“Hello, everything went well! He should be coming back very soon.”
Katsuki’s mother slumps over in relief and he doesn’t understand. Had there been something wrong with…?
He sits on the floor, refusing the chair that was offered to him. Midoriya sits right beside him with an arm placed over his shoulder.
“I can’t believe everything is okay.” Midoriya says, voice tangled with disbelief.
Maybe now, he wasn’t the only one in denial.
It takes 20 minutes for the door to open again and he sees a hospital bed being rolled in.
He closes his eyes shut, wanting to remain in a world where Katsuki was alive for even a second more.
As the sound of the rolling stops, he feels the heat around him leave.
He changes his mind. He doesn’t want to see him.
He hears sobs coming from Katsuki’s mother. A laugh of relief coming from Midoriya. Sniffs from Katsuki’s father.
His denial must be getting worse, or he’s dreaming again. Because then, he hears him.
Small and rough and quiet. But he hears him.
“What the hell are you still doing on the ground, Shitty Hair?”
He finally opens his eyes and the scream that leaves his throat could be heard from the heavens.
“Kat—Ka…” his throat shakes.
“Get the hell up here and fucking hug me.”
He must be dead, he must be somewhere beyond.
Because there’s an angel in his presence, hooked to tubes and in a hospital gown.
His view of him goes blurry as another shout leaves his throat.
“Come on, um lets…” Midoriya mumbles, pulling away from Katsuki’s snarl. Everyone leaves after that, leaving the two alone.
“Katsuki? Am I dreaming? Am I dead too?” He asks.
Katuski looks at him with concern in his brow which quickly changes to an apology.
“What do you mean dead too?” He grunts as loudly as he can, eyebrows furrowed in deep concern. He realizes how tired this image of Katsuki looks, like he’s ready to rest in his arms any minute. Eyes fluttering slightly, voice a little groggy.
“Katsuki, you’ve—“
Rage kindles on Katsuki’s face.
“Don’t tell me no one fucking told you?”
“I know you’re—“
“I was in a dumb coma for three weeks and no one bothered to—” He shouts, quieter than usual, but maybe thats because this beauty in front of him is only a figment of the real Katsuki.
“A coma?” He whispers.
Maybe that’s what he was in, maybe that’s how he’s seeing him, stuck in a dream.
“Yeah? Some stupid villain fucking went to town on me and I collapsed.”
“But you called and said…”
“I was stabbed alright? I thought I was as good as dead.”
Katsuki crossed his arms, “Still don’t know why you’re on the damn floor.”
Katsuki moved on his bed, patting the space next to him.
He wonders if it would feel real, if he’d be able to be in the memory of the heat of him.
He peels himself off the floor, taking his place by Katsuki on his hospital bed.
“I’m so sorry for calling you like that, Eij. And for leaving you in the dark. Apparently we had to go no contact at the risk of the villains finding us.”
He feels so real, Katsuki’s scent in his nose.
“But fucking trust me, if I was awake, I would’ve called you back.”
Katsuki sighs, his voice so soft and full of regret as he says, “I’m so sorry. Ei. For making you think I—fuck. Are you okay?”
“No, you’re gone Katsuki. How am I okay?” He almost laughed, even his imagined Katsuki was in denial.
Katsuki clicks his teeth and he hadn’t heard that sound in so long, it sounds like home, like love.
“Eiji, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Katsuki carefully reaches for his hand. “The fuck? Why were you bleeding from your hand?”
“I…punched the floor with my quirk.” The blood is already dried, the pain gone.
“I swear, Ei. If we have to patch a hole in the ground, you’re paying for it.”
He doesn’t want to believe it, knowing his denial had gotten even worse as he feels Katsuki’s timid touch.
“You have every right to be upset with me. I can’t even imagine what you were going through that month.”
Katsuki brings his hand up to his lips.
It tickles. It feels so real.
“Izuku was finally able to bring me home. The fucking hag called all pissed off and demanded that I’d get my surgery back at home. They hadn’t even let my parents go and see me. But, the assholes at that other hospital finally called my family, at least.”
“I mean, the hag isn’t used to me calling her anyway, but she said some bullshit about a mother’s intuition and called everywhere she could.”
Katsuki kissed his hand again and he felt his world recolor.
“Izuku tried to convince them to call earlier, but he kept getting ignored. And taken back to the fight. When I woke up last week, the bastards weren’t able to handle me and the hag at the same time.”
Katsuki grinned, “They caught the bastard, by the way. Mission fucking successful.”
“So are you gonna sit there? Or you gonna kiss the shit out of me, Eij?”
He decided to indulge himself in this cruel fantasy.
He took Katsuki’s cheek in his palm and it tingled. He can’t believe he felt so real.
Katsuki didn’t wait for him to come forward.
Instead, he closed the gap.
The taste of him was overwhelming, the sweetness of his kiss convincing him that he had gone to heaven.
Katsuki sobbed into their kiss, their tears mingling as their lips danced together.
Katsuki pulled them apart, both of them breathless.
“Have you been eating my fucking chips, you moron?” Katsuki asks, laughter thick with tears.
And finally, he knew this was real. He knew Katsuki was here, alive.
He felt his heart come back to life as Katsuki pulled him in for a careful hug, kissing everywhere he could reach.
“I’m so sorry Ei. I really thought I was gonna die.” He whispered.
“I thought you were dead, Kats.” He confesses, looking deeply into the eyes that he ached for so much.
“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.” Katsuki kisses him again. “I just had to hear your voice one more time, you know? In case I really…”
He didn’t want to hear it anymore, he didn’t want to think about his month in mourning.
All he wanted to do was kiss his Katsuki. Kiss him again and again to make up for the pain he felt for months.
“You never fucking said it back, by the way.”
“Said what?”
Katsuki grinned, “I love you, Eij. So much. I missed you. I can’t believe we’ve been separated for fucking months.”
“I love you too, Katsuki.” He confessed, the words soaring as they left him.
“Can you forgive me, Ei?”
He laughs, “Only if you forgive me for eating literally all your snacks.”
Katsuki pinched his nose, playfully.
“Alright, but you’re replacing them all. You’re gonna treat me like a fucking king when we get back home.”
“You got it, Kats.”
“And you’re gonna move all my stuff from my room to yours. We can use mine as an office or some shit.”
As Katsuki listed all his demands for when he got back home, Kirishima smiled.
Maybe he hadn’t been in denial. Maybe, somehow, Katsuki had told him he was alive. That he was okay. It had to have been that, their connected hearts being able to break through any barrier.
After two weeks of being in the hospital to recover, Katsuki was able to come home.
He had replaced all his snacks, luckily didn’t have to fix a hole in the ground, and merged their bedrooms together.
The image of Katsuki walking through the door brought tears to his eyes.
“What the hell are you crying for? Help me put my shit away.”
He didn’t listen. Instead, he picked up Katsuki, telling him to wrap his legs around him as he cradled him.
“I’m not a fucking baby, you don’t have to carry me.”
“Please?” He sniffed.
Katsuki rolled his eyes, unable to hide his own tears that were forming.
He carried him to their bedroom, putting him down so carefully.
Katsuki smiled at him, reaching to brush a thumb over his lips as they laid next to each other.
“Welcome home, angel.”
Katsuki’s lips trembled, a beautiful tear falling down his cheek.
“I love you so much, Ei.”
“I love you more.”
“That’s fucking bullshit, I love you more.”
“I doubt it.”
They both laughed, the sound of their joy mingling as they kissed again and again.
“Let’s go to sleep, huh?” Katsuki said, wrapping his wonderful arms around Kirishima’s waist.
Kirishima kissed the top of his head as he came closer.
Katsuki buried his face in the crook of his neck, sighing. “I’m finally home, Ei.”
“I know, love. I missed you so much. It was so cold without you.”
“Don’t get all sad on me, Eiji.” He grunted.
Katsuki fell asleep in his arms quickly.
Kirishima took in his beauty, running his fingers through his hair and looking at his breaths making his chest rise and fall.
Katsuki truly was an angel on earth, heaven being kind enough to lend them their best and prettiest one.
He felt himself drifting off and he gave Katsuki a kiss on his parted lips, his snores the most beautiful sound to grace his ears.
Sometimes, the disbelief still hits him, but Katsuki is always there to love him through it.
And as they fell asleep in each other’s arms, Kirishima knew that even in this life or another, in love or separation, in grief or joy, he’d always have Katsuki.
And Katsuki will always have him.