Archive of Our Own

When they first met, they didn't really get along.

After all, Matthew was a Jew, although a tax collector, and Gaius was a Roman soldier. Not only that, but tax collector's and their guards didn't have a history of becoming buddies, especially with someone as strange as Matthew was.

However, Gaius just had to be stuck with the oddest one in the group. He supposed it was just his luck, as it was with everything that happened in his life. Gaius wasn't particularly social, but it seemed this Jew was even more antisocial than anyone he'd ever met. Betraying his own people just to become a tax collector everyone hated? Sure, he could understand if Matthew seemed like a greedy Roman ally who just was in it for the money, but to be honest Matthew didn't seem like that at all. He seemed more shy, nervous, and...sad. Certainly not boastful, although there would be times when they would bicker a bit where he said something a bit snobbish. It confused Gaius to no end, he simply couldn't understand Matthew.

As they worked together more, the pointed jabs turned more playful. Although they never hung out after working, Gaius would often make fun of the other for how flushed he was everyday when he tried to get to his tax collecting station from the hustle and bustle of the market.

"Well you realize you could always just escort me yourself," Matthew would always bite back, huffing in a pouty way. Man he could act spoiled sometimes. Gaius would simply yawn and say ,"and risk a few extra minutes of sleep, and nearly getting attacked by Jews on the road? Yeah I don't think so."

Of course Matthew would fume and storm off into his corner, leaving Gaius with a proud smirk on his face that he could mess around with someone without getting reprimanded like he would with the other Roman soldiers.

Overall, he'd say he was getting used to this Jew.

---

"Matthew...what on Earth?"

Gaius could only gape at the big black creature that stood next to Matthew one morning. Out of all the people in this world, he'd never expected Matthew to have a soft spot for a mutt. Absolutely not, no no no.

"Matthew, you are not keeping that dog."

The tax collector looked up at him with his own proud smirk this time, although Gaius could tell by his anxious fidgeting that he was a little more than afraid of Gaius reaction. "Well since you see it as not important to escort me here, I found someone who will!"

"Oh and you think this mangy mutt will protect you? Look at it!"

The thing simply whined, tilting its head a bit in a way that reminded him of Matthew.

"Well, perhaps with the proper training he could protect me, certainly better than you have been doing."

Ouch. Touche.

"It's not my fault you keep getting yourself and me into trouble! First Quintus and now this dog? What next Matthew? Honestly, how am I supposed to protect you when you don't use your brain!"

"But I do use my brain? I am very educated after all."

Gaius could practically bang his head against the wall at the others lack of social awareness. "Gah, that's not at all what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

The taller Roman locked eyes with the other, who looked at him with the same tilted head as the dog did earlier, as if genuinely imploring. He couldn't help but notice his eyes were similar too, in a way a kicked puppy might look. No, he would absolutely not let Matthew let this dog come to work everyday.

"Just… leave the dog at home. If that's what you want, I can walk you in the mornings…"

Matthew straightened his back, his brow furrowing a bit in astonishment. Then he smiled, a genuine yet small smile. Gaius couldn't help but feel a little shocked by it, and certainly didn't expect to feel happy. He should be angry, after all now he was going to be forced to wake up earlier just to escort someone who hasn't had an issue getting to work before.

"Thank you Gaius."

Gaius simply rolled his eyes and looked away in a prideful, yet secretly bashful way. "Yeah yeah whatever."

The dog stayed back at Matthews home everyday after that.

---

The day was fairly normal, nothing to report as usual. Even so, it didn't make his job easier. He could tell the unrest with the Jews recently, they were suffering from the harsh taxes and he could see their brows furrow and their mouths curl into a sneer every time they approached the tax collector. The scariest part to Gaius though was that everytime they would spit at Matthew or call him names, it made his blood boil. Why should he care? It wasn't like Matthew was his only friend in this world…

Gaius felt the air leave his lungs for a moment, despite standing still at his station. Matthew was his only friend, well sort of, but that was better than nothing.

"Gaius, are you alright?"

Gaius quickly looked over to the shorter man in embarrassment. Gaius had been so lost in thought he forgot he was supposed to be watching for trouble. Matthew had just finished taking another Jews taxes, and was fidgeting with his stylus, a nervous look on his face as he awaited an answer.

"Sorry, I uh, lost focus... it won't happen again."

Matthew just tilted his head in confusion at his response, muttering a quick "uh-huh" before calling the next person over.

However, before that man approached, someone called from the crowd.

"Matthew!"

Gaius sees Matthew draw in a shuddering breath, his eyes wildly darting towards the man who called him. He was a man with shoulder length hair, just a Jew, and not much of the threat at first glance. However, how he knew Matthew's name, and that was very concerning.

The man beside the one who called Matthew grew agitated. It was Simon from before, and he could hear him spouting out "but he's a tax collector," and "filthy traitor". Gaius felt his anger rising again, his hands unconsciously gripping his sword. If these Jews were here to cause more trouble even after the whole Simon fishing issue already then he certainly wasn't having it a second time. He would make sure this man was punished if he dared lay another finger on the tax collector.

"Matthew son of Alpheus, come and follow me!"

However before he could tell a threat to stand back, he heard Matthews door open behind him.

"What are you doing," Gaius bit out at him, pushing Matthew back. There was no way he was just going to…

"Let me go, Gaius!"

Gaius just pushed harder. "Who are these people? Are you really just going to throw all of this away because of one man? The man who stands with him is the whole reason we got into the mess with Quintus. Are you out of your mind?"

"Maybe I am! Okay… you don't understand. I can't stay here any longer!"

Matthew shoved past him to the other man, who smiled kindly and welcomed the tax collector warmly. Gaius couldn't believe it.

After all this time knowing him he couldn't believe he was back at square one, like he hardly knew Matthew at all…

All he could do was watch as he walked away.

---

It didn't take long to reach Matthews home, after all he'd been going there every morning for the last few weeks. However what he didn't expect was that there was laughter coming from inside it's walls while every time he went there it was usually silent. Was Matthew in trouble? Was his house being robbed? That was the only explanation as he was sure the man didn't have any friends or family besides the ones who cast him out.

He quickly ran over to find a few pharisees with a rude tone shouting and quickly decided to confront them.

"Is everything under control here?"

He glared at everyone, the Pharisees, Simon, the man from earlier who called Matthew.

And there was Matthew, standing still in shock at seeing his former guard, his mouth open but not able to form words.

Matthew was quickly shaken out of his stupor, putting on a sudden serious face. "You all keep eating, I will talk to this man," he said to his guests before shutting the door behind them.

The Pharisees had quickly run off at this point so they were alone. Gaius quickly glared at Matthew in a way that made the other frown a bit in apprehension.

"Matthew, you realize I must strongly advise you to reconsider quitting. You've worked for this job your whole life, you have protection, you have a good home, clothes, food. Everything you could possibly need!"

"That's the point though," Matthew suddenly spoke up, causing the other to freeze in his speech. The former tax collector's face had suddenly gone pale, and very somber. "It wasn't everything I needed…"

Gaius still didn't understand, until Matthews' pained eyes met his.

"I was kicked out from my home, everyone in the streets hates me, I only have a dog as a companion to keep me company when I'm alone eating shabbat dinner every single shabbat. Do you know what that's like, having no one? Feeling so lonely every day because of the stupid mistakes you made, and for what? Money? I only ever wanted to do what I was good at, I thought everything made sense but it doesn't. Not anymore!"

Gaius could only look at the younger in astonishment. He did understand, he was lonely too. However, that didn't change the fact that running away wasn't the answer.

"Matthew, no one can understand how it is to feel lonely as much as me, but we can't change who we are. That's not the right way to handle things and you know it."

Matthew shook his head in frustration. "Gaius, that's not what I mean-"

"You're my friend Matthew."

The shorter stiffened for a moment. The second the words left his mouth, Gaius instantly regretted it. However the damage it seemed had already been done, after all a Jew being friends with a Roman soldier was absurd. Matthew obviously just tolerated him, he wouldn't have joined this other group if he had any sort of friendship with Gaius. He couldn't have felt any more embarrassed than he did at that moment.

Matthew simply continued with his earlier plight. "Gaius, I have to do this. Please understand. After all, you should be glad you don't have to deal with me anymore. Your promotion was well deserved, you should be happy."

"How can I be when you're the one who helped get me that promotion? Do not play dumb," Gaius scolded, heaving an exasperated sigh.

Matthew shrugged. "Well you could always say thank you."

Gaius snorted a little in amusement. "Absolutely not happening."

The other sighed and frowned slightly, before handing him a key. His key to his home. "Well you could at least do me one favor in return to show it."

"And what would that be?"

Matthew looked down at the key, then back at his home. "Please give all my possessions to my family. Yes, even the dog."

The Roman soldiers' chest seemed to sear with hatred. Matthew would give all his possessions to people who couldn't care less about him?

Gaius reluctantly took the key. "You aren't going to change your mind are you?"

Matthew simply shook his head, his hands back to nervously fidgeting at his side. In truth, he hadn't seen Matthew so strong and determined before. It was odd to say the least, and Gaius couldn't help but hate it.

He quickly turned on his heel about to leave but stopped for a moment. "Just… try and stay out of trouble. I won't even try to protect you if I find out you got imprisoned."

With that, the Roman stormed off. Once again, he had lost everything he cared about, just like his parents back in Germania. Just like during the painful tests he endured during training.

He was such a fool...

---

Gaius had given the key and the mutt to his family like Matthew had asked. Although the days had flown by since he had left, the pain still hadn't faded. He was truly back to square one again.

The new tax collector was nowhere near as, well, normal despite how abnormal Matthew was to begin with. The new tax collector was how a tax collector should be, vain, money obsessed, a traitor. Not Matthew, not the shy, reserved, and a little bit snarky Matthew he'd grown fond of.

He needed to let it go. Matthew wasn't coming back, and was surely dead by now. He hated to admit it but his nightmares reflected his thoughts of what might be happening to his friend. Well, a friend from his point of view anyway. Matthew hadn't exactly said he had considered him a friend back.

They were always and would forever be just partners when it came to their job. But they didn't work together anymore, so it didn't even amount to that much now. It didn't matter.

Nothing mattered to Gaius anymore…

---

The midsummer day Gaius heard that the street preacher was to be arrested was the day he suddenly felt his energy return. He hoped Matthew was still alive and if he was maybe this was his chance to bring him back to the right side of history. He was sure he could convince Quintus to allow Matthew back under certain conditions, and even so, he would watch after Matthew even if he wasn't obligated to protect him anymore.

He and his squad made it down to the water by late morning, where the same man from before, Jesus of Nazareth, was speaking.

"Are you Jesus the preacher?"

The man nodded with a small smile on his face. Odd fellow, most usually glared. "I am him."

"Alright, we will have to ask you to have your group drop all weapons and step back so we may take you into custody to see the Preator.

Everyone complied, even more odd.

He quickly cuffed the man, but not before his curiosity got the best of him. He didn't see Matthew anywhere, a sinking feeling rising in his throat.

"Matthew is alive."

Gaius looked up at Jesus, who was smiling kindly at him. Did he say all that out loud? There was no way he did, how did this man seem to read his mind?"

"Why isn't he here?"

Jesus hummed. "He is out getting food, he will be back soon."

"He's used to eating well," Gaius grits out, teeth bared at the man in front of him, who's expression turned slowly into a small frown. Jesus doesn't say anything, so instead he takes him away, everyone looking on at him disgusted.

He would find Matthew later…

---

Matthew had just been back at the camp when he heard Jesus had been arrested, and by Gaius nonetheless. He had to go and get his Rabbi back. Gaius would be more inclined to release him than if the others asked anyways if Matthew begged enough. So while Philip and Andrew went to the town, Matthew followed behind in secret.

After a long walk, and wandering around a bit, he found his old tax collector box. His mind flashed with memories of who he once was, not that he was anymore. He shook his head. No, he was a disciple now, not a tax collector.

Suddenly, he felt a rough hand pull on his tunic, turning him around to face a man he hadn't seen before. "You're that tax collector who quit! I suffered so much because of you! You are going to pay, and nobodies here to protect you now that you're a nobody like the rest of us!"

Matthew flinched, preparing for the hit but it never came. He heard a pained groan and a thud, before opening his eyes to see the man had been hit in the head with a blunt object. He then felt a large hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

The former tax collector jumped at the touch, reeling around to see the man he was looking for. "G-Gaius," Matthew stuttered out nervously. It had been so long, he had almost forgotten how formidable the other was, especially now. In the short time they were apart he had changed a little.

He had more muscle like he had been training more, his clothes were upgraded to nicer ones, but the biggest thing that Matthew noticed was the dark circles under his eyes making him look fiercer than he ever had. "Matthew," he repeated back.

"Where is Jesus," Matthew said without hesitation. It seemed he was going to get straight to the case. He saw Gaius scowl at the mention of the name, before seemingly reluctantly telling him Jesus was with Quintus.

That presented a problem, Matthew couldn't go to Quintus anymore, and now that he knew that and because he knows Gaius, he knew he'd be risking a lot to rescue him. Then again, how great a crime was his imprisonment for? "Are they… going to kill him?"

Gaius shook his head. "No, they are asking questions, but they plan to let him go after maybe two days."

Matthew let out the breath he had been holding, his shoulders relaxing into a tired slounch. To Gaius, he looked different too. Thinner, more tired, and certainly more dirty…

The complete opposite of Gaius now. The bottom of the barrel.

And he hated it.

The Roman scowled, shortly thinking of what to say. "I still say you shouldn't have tried to leave. You wouldn't have to deal with this...friend of yours being in custody. Especially thinking about the fact that one day that might be you I'm handing in."

"Is that what you stopped to talk to me about? To scold me about it again," Matthew looked more tired than irritated. It pulled at the other's heart strings a little to see the shorter so exhausted.

"I just say this because I-"

Did he want to broach the subject of him seeing Matthew as a friend again? Last time the other had been completely silent and rather changed the subject.

"Nevermind…"

Matthew tilted his head at that, becoming a little more alert. He didn't decide the pry though, just reverting back to nervously fisting at his neck scarf.

They just stood there for a moment, like sitting ducks Gaius might add. Both didn't know what to say, they left each other on kind of a bad note…

"I'm-," Matthew stuttered out, before trailing off a bit his eyes locked with Gaius. "I'm going to see my parents."

"I'll escort you."

"Gaius you don't protect me anymore, it's fine I think I can make it there without a problem."

"Yeah, like how you made it here just fine a few seconds ago."

Both of them just stood in silence again, and to Matthew he felt a little suffocated.

"Matthew, it's fine. It'll be no trouble at all… I'll even leave afterward if you want."

"No! No, you don't have to leave. I just…," Matthew trailed off sighing tiredly again, before heading off in the direction to his parents home, Gaius trailing behind him.

"So, what exactly have you been doing as a student to that street preacher?"

The former tax collector blinked at him in perplexity, before figditing again. "I do lots of things. I keep tabs on the money, plan out the route on the map, I sometimes help with the cooking, setting up the tents, and preparing firewood too."

He heard Gaius let out a snort at that. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, just never expected Matthew and manual labor to be in the same sentence."

Matthew huffed a bit, but not out of annoyance. Rather how they were like before when he was still a tax collector. "Me neither, but I am trying my best."

"You must be popular then, since it seems you do so much."

Matthew stopped in his tracks, his face growing grim. Now that made Gaius curious, why was he sad all of the sudden.

"No… they uh, actually don't really like me."

That just confused the Roman even more. Why travel with people who despise him? Was it because Matthew used to be a tax collector? "Then why stay with them?"

The shorter just shook his head. "It's really only Simon, Andrew, John, and Big James that treat me coldly. Philip and Mary treat me nice! And Thaddeus, and Little James and Jesus is nice to everyone! So-so I'm not completely alone."

Matthew huffed again, except this time in pain. Probably because his feet were soar from walking. "Besides, I went to follow Jesus, not to make friends."

Gaius didn't know why he was so averse to being friends with anyone. Maybe a past experience. Either way, he wasn't going to pry.

They shortly arrived there, Matthew hesitating at the door before he knocked. He swallowed, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.

"Do you want me to-" Gaius started, pointing away like he should leave.

"No you can come in."

Gaius snorted at that. Inviting a Roman into his parents house when he himself wasn't invited? At least he knew deep down Matthew was still a bit of a snob. He smiled fondly, relaxing a bit before knocking for Matthew.

Matthew glared up at him, quickly brushing himself in some vain attempt to look presentable.

Before Matthew could speak when the door opened, a big black dog jumped on top of him, licking his face with his tail wagging.

"Matthew," Gaius cried out when he fell, until he heard laughter. Matthew was half heartedly pushing the beast off of him, with his other hand stroking the fur lovingly. "H-hey, cut it out!"

The dog got off of him, giving Matthew some space to stand back up. So much for looking presentable, he probably had dog slobber all over himself now.

"Matthew?"

His mother was looking in shock at her son at the door. Gaius saw as Matthew suddenly felt his throat tighten up with his eyes fluttering in sadness.

"Hello… mother."

Usually their meetings were distant, cold. However Matthew didn't expect it when his mother ran into his arms, giving him the biggest hug in years. He let out a shuddering breath, the tears that built up in his eyes leaking as he slowly hugged her back.

"We missed you my son."

Matthew just gripped tighter. "Mom…"

Gaius couldn't help but also feel his heart tug at the scene. It brought him back to his own parents, how he missed his mother's hug. Matthew was lucky, and it made him smile at the reunion. Only if the other was happy, so was he.

They pulled away, both of them tearfully huffing out breaths of short laughter.

"Do you mind if we come in mom?"

She motioned inside. "Oh no problem, come in. I'll make you some food you seem so thin."

"Do- do you mind if Gaius joins me?"

She froze, looking up at the solider in a bit of weary. They had met before, and he seemed nice enough. She certainly didn't think he would arrest them or cause trouble. Besides, he had off handedly said when they first met that he was fond of Matthew.

"Uh, sure."

Matthew nodded before entering, Gaius following behind him. They both sat down at the table beside each other, Matthews mom making a plate for both of them.

"Where is father?"

"Out of town," she said, pouring him some water and setting it before him.

"Is he… like you?"

She stopped what she was doing, looking at her son confused. "What?"

"I-I mean, is he okay now? With me not being a tax collector anymore…"

His mother sighed, resuming fixing up a plate for her son. "It's complicated Matthew. But I wouldn't completely discredit the idea…"

She then set it down in front of both of them, Matthews stomach growling a bit at the sight of it. There was so much, not just bread and lentils anymore. He felt himself relax a bit. He was safe here, with the people he cared about the most. He could finally relax. Here he was just Matthew, not really Matthew the tax collector anymore.

Gaius thanked her, Matthewing following suit, before both of them dug in, Matthew a bit faster. "My goodness, you must be famished from traveling. Tell me, what is the Messiah like?"

Matthew washed it down with his water, before answering. "He is truly everything I never expected. He… well I've learned so much traveling with him, and the others. He performs miracles for everyone, leapers, poor people, and people who are even possessed by demons. It is truly magnificent to witness and I am lucky he chose me."

She smiled. "That is great. But Matthew, you never really stayed in Hebrew school to learn the scriptures. Dont you need them?"

"My friend Philip is helping me with them, along with Mary. We are all learning together."

Gaius looked at his food. So he did have friends…

"That sounds wonderful. Your father will certainly be happy you are following a wise man, and learning Torah."

Matthew hummed, before taking another bite. They all are until they were full, Matthew especially. Both decided it was getting late so they decided it was time to go. After all, Matthew needed to get back before the others got worried. Though how invisible he was, nobody would probably notice…

"Thank you for having us mom. And thanks for a meal."

"Yes thank you," Gaius repeated, getting up and bowing a bit in gratitude. His mother just shook her head and waved him off. "It's alright. I'm just happy the Matthew I love is back."

Matthew smiled at her, running to give her one last hug before walking over to his dog outside. He leaned down to pet it, it's nose running at his palm gently. "Take care of her, yeah?"

The dog just wagged his tail happily, making Matthew smile fondly.

"Ready to go? I'll escort you out of the city if that is what you wish," Gaius said, closing the door behind the two of them.

He thought Matthew would argue, but instead he just smiled at Gaius genuinely. "Thanks Gaius."

That smile was something he missed most of all. Matthews genuine heartfelt smile of thanks. He remembered it so well since he first got the dog, and even now after the leaving incident at Matthews house.

"Let's go."

---

Matthew snuck back to the camp, luckily nobody saw him. Gaius and him had parted ways a little while ago at the city gates, and now it had become nearly dark out.

He had completely forgotten about his mission, not that it would've mattered as Jesus likely couldn't be busted out of jail. Looking back on it now, leaving was a stupid idea in the first place, even though after meeting his mom again it didn't seem like it.

He saw a fire still up, with nobody at it. Good, he could sneak into his tent and nobody would notice.

Matthew slowly tip toed over to the camp, trying to be as quiet as possible.

"Hellow Matthew."

The former tax collectoe shrieked, reeling around to see Jesus sitting at the fire. But- he was- what?

"Jesus?!"

Jesus shrugged, smilinging up at him as he poked at the logs in the fire. "Yes that is me."

"I-I thought you were arrested?"

The Messiah just hummed in confirmation. "I was, but I'm all right. Where did you run off to?"

Matthew blushed I'm embarrassment, looking down at his hands. They were fidgeting again.

"It's alright Matthew. You've done nothing wrong. In fact, I appreciate you looking for me, and I'm glad you could reconcile with your mother."

Matthew stiffened. How did he- wait he was the son of David, he could understand probably everything. Matthew didn't know whether to sit down or go to sleep, he didn't know if Jesus needed him. He said he was fine, and he didn't seem hurt so Matthew guessed he was telling the truth.

"Get some sleep Matthew. We have a long day tomorrow."

He tilted his head at that, but shook off his confusion. Padding back over to the tent, Matthew curled up on the ground. Despite how it normally borthered him, tonight be couldn't help but have peaceful dreams. He dreamt of Gaius actually, but it was more of memories. Flashes of when they still worked together, them walking to the booth each morning, the lunch they had earlier where both of them seemed more relaxed and happy than they both ever were. In his dreams he didn't feel lonely for once.

---

They didn't see each other for a year after the last meeting. The first separation was only for a few months, however this distance was longer. Matthew would sometimes remember and think about the Roman, but overall he was still focused on the mission at hand. His travelers hadn't gotten much nicer, not the people that used to live in the same town anyway except for Mary or course. He blushed at the thought of her.

She truly was one of the only reasons he held on this long.

Now they were walking back to the same home now. Maybe Gaius had stayed, maybe he had been stationed in another place. Maybe he had forgotten him…

Either scenario, Matthew was nervous. The unrest he heard in his previous home had increased with the recent taxes. He hoped his mother was safe, he hoped his father was safe, and he hoped Gaius was safe.

Why Jesus wanted to go there baffled him. They could just stay on the outskirts safely, but no he wanted to stay with Simon and Eden. He could tell Simon was restless too. Everyone was a bit nervous going back after all this time. Matthew was sure he probably looked a bit different, he had grown a bit of a stubble. Not a beard but still he usually kept himself clean shaven.

However because they were constantly on the road they didn't have a lot of time for personal hygiene.

They had made it to Simon's home by midday, Simon dashing to embrace Eden in a teary embarace. Matthew just wandered away over to his parents house, knocking more confidently this time. He didn't feel like staying with the others right now.

His mother opened the door again, his dog coming to greet him with the same happy wag of his tail. "Hey," he said petting the adorable creatures fur. The dog whined and happily leaned into the touch, making Matthew smile.

"Hello mom."

His mother looked a bit nervous this time, but smiled lovingly anyway. "Hello son."

"Who is at the door?"

Matthew stiffened, subconsciously backing away from the door. His father appeared in the doorway, his face registering surprise.

"Matthew?"

"Hello father…"

They both looked at each other uncomfortably.

"What are you doing here?"

Matthew just shook his head. "I am just stopping by, not staying for long. I just wanted to make sure you were not in danger."

His father huffed. "Danger? What danger would we be in?"

"I-I don't…," Matthew began, before trailing off. "I can leave if you want, this is all I wanted to check."

"Matthew don't you dare walk away now."

He froze, before he felt his father's hand on his shoulder. "You… you've done good son."

He felt tears gathering in his eyes again, but didn't dare let them fall in front of this father. The final piece that was missing was finally back. "Thank you, dad."

His father smiled proudly, his own eyes a bit teary. His mother smiled at the exchange, her own tears falling. "Would you like to come inside?"

Matthew nodded, a happy smile on his face at being finally welcomed back home by both his parents.

They sat there for awhile, Matthew telling them an animated story about his adventures with the others and about the trails he faced. Both his parents seemed to sweat worriedly at some of his tale, but nodded in understanding none the less. As much as they were distant to their son before, they still would be sad if he was killed.

It had gotten late in the afternoon again, Matthew loosing track of time once more. Surely nothing had gone wrong, they all seemed fine, and he was sure Jesus and the others were safe in Simon's home. Everything was perfect, and Matthew had no worries.

He didn't want to leave now but he knew he had to. Matthew missed his parents, he loved them. He wanted to spend as much time to catch up as possible. However he knew that he had responsibilities.

Suddenly all of them heard a boom, and shouting, Matthew and his parent heads turning to look fearfully at the sound.

His rabbi…

"What was that," his mother said worriedly, his father standing up to run to the door. He opened it, gasping when he saw smoke coming from the inner market. "Elisheva, stay here, don't leave this home."

His dog whined in the corner. They were all on edge, as his father dashed out the door. "Wait!"

Matthew rushed after him, pulling his arm away.

"No you aren't running into the fire. Please."

"Matthew someone might be in trouble!"

"Exactly, so leave it to me!"

Alpheus grunted in frustration, before turning back to his son. "I can't let you go my son, it's too dangerous for you. You will most probably get hurt just from what I know of you. You need to go straight home and get your Rabbi. Protect the Messiah, Matthew. We must protect him at any cost."

"I will, but I think it may be Jesus in the fire."

His father froze before signing. "Alright, but be extremely careful and vigilant. Don't… don't get hurt."

Matthew smiled at his father reassuringly. "I won't."

The disciple then ran off to the area where the smoke was, realizing it was not at Simons home but too close for comfort. Maybe Jesus was teaching in the market and people attacked him, or something else. He saw after turning a corner a riot had broken out at the tax booth, many soldiers gathering to put of the fire and push the people who were panicking back.

Gaius.

Matthew frantically searched for the familiar roman, but they all looked the same, the blood red or their uniforms matching the flames of the fire too well. He quickly ran over to the scene, despite his concious telling him it was a horrible idea. "Gaius! Gaius!"

He seemed to scream for forever to no avail, the crowd had grown bigger and he distany saw people starting the throw stones at the booth.

Matthew needed to leave.

He quickly started but only found himself face to face with more people trying to kill the man. A hot wave of panic washed over him, and he froze. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. Where were his friends? Were they okay? Did they know he was gone?

His shoulder was suddenly tugged with an overwhelming amount of force that he cried out. "You're that tax collector from a year prior, where have you been filth?"

"Let me go! I'm not a tax collector, I'm a student."

"Yeah right, you can join the man up there. Kill him!"

Matthews heart skipped a beat, his mind rushing with thoughts of pain, being stoned to death or stabbed. With a sudden burst of strength he managed to wrench himself away, and run but he didn't get far. He was knocked down on the ground, face to face with a knarly blade.

His heart stopped. His blood ran cold.

This was it.

"Die tax collector!"

Matthew closed his eyes, awaiting the pain to come but instead he heard a sword slicing and a man screaming in agony. But it wasnt him.

He dared to not open his eyes. He couldn't.

"-tthew. Matthew!"

His eyes shot open to look at the Roman aiming his sword at the crowd who was slowly closing in, the dead man's body on the ground. Gaius spared him a side glance, his eyes blazing with furry.

"Matthew run!"

Matthew gaped in terror, scrambling up to get away, only to luckily roll behind a stall in hiding. Yet that didn't spare him from what happened next, but only sealed it. Gaius was distracted from yelling at him to run only to see a stone fly at his face, knocking the solider out cold. The people quickly swarmed, and all Matthew could do was watch. A scream of pain ripped through him, but nobody heard. The noise was too much, the blood was too much.

He was suffocating.

Then the rest of the army came, and the people scattered, leaving Gaius laying on the ground surrounded by the other dead.

Matthew scrambled over to him. Please don't be dead. Don't be dead. Matthew watched him cough and look up at him in sadness and fear.

"Matthew..."

"Gaius! No please. Why? Why did you do that?"

"You're my friend, I care about you…"

Gaius had a gash on his head and his arm seemed to be bleeding, yet Matthew couldn't tell how bad. In that moment though, he could hardly see. Matthew felt the burning hot tears rolling down his cheeks. His heart felt like it was ripping itself apart.

"We need to get you help! Gaius come on let's go!"

But the Roman just shook his head. "I can't stand up."

Matthew let out a muffled scream as he tried to pull the other off the ground. "I'll carry you!"

"Matthew look at me."

Both of them locked eyes again, Gaius smiling despite the situation. "I'm glad to see you again. But you need to leave. Go to your friends, you don't need me anymore."

"But I do need you! Are you an idiot? I can't go back without you!"

"You have to…," Gaius muttered his face growing more and more pale. "Go to your new friends, they will be worried about you."

"But you were my first friend!"

Gaius looked at Matthew in shock before smiling fondly. "Thank you." Gaius then suddenly fell unconscious.

"No, no, no."

In the back of his mind, Matthew felt himself scream.

---

He felt numb.

He knew he was walking but, to where, he hardly could tell. Although now that he though about it he was walking to the water. He didn't know why, nobody was there to help him.

The soliders had stepped in when Gaius fainted to take him away. He didn't know if his friend was dead, but he probably was.

Matthew felt sick.

He saw a light ahead and hear people talking. Maybe he could ask them for help. Help with what, he didn't know, yet with all the blood he was covered with, he was sure he would freak them out a bit. Hopefully not to warrent hatred.

The disciple stumbled through the bushes into the open area, only to realize it was his camp. But they were supposed to be at Simons home?

"Matthew!"

He heard Mary shriek and run to him, but quickly stopped in her tracks. "Matthew… what…"

The man stepped out into the light of the open area near the fire. Everyone was frozen in shock, Little James gagged a bit at his appearance and Simon the Zealot just shook his head knowingly.

Philip came running over to him his eyes wraught with fear. "Matthew are you hurt? Why are you covered in blood? What happened?"

"I…"

He soon saw Simon running out with Jesus following behind, Simon quickly coming to a hault before him. "Where were you idiot? You ran off without a single word and you come back…"

"Covered in blood," Andrew muttered wearily.

Matthew finally found his voice again, and cleared it, his mouth a bit dry. "There was a riot in the square."

"Are you hurt," Jesus asked.

"No… but my friend…"

"I'm so sorry Matthew," Jesus said with genuine sorrow.

They all stood in somber silence except for Simon. "The Roman? Matthew are you serious?"

Matthew felt rage well up in his heart, pain and agony peircing his heart. Why couldn't Simon for once let him alone? Especially when his friend was probably dying. He was about to snap at him when Jesus spoke up.

"Matthew. Calm down, come and talk to me," he said, motioning for Matthew to follow.

Matthew let out a shakey sigh, and followed Jesus into his tent.

"Sit," Jesus said, grabbing a wet rag and began washing the blood off his hands. The disciple felt weary, sitting down and wincing from the pain in his back and foot.

"I guess I should start by saying that your friend is not going to die. I don't usually tell you these things I know, but I felt in this case you deserve to know. He is your friend after all."

"Are you sure," Matthew asked his heart beating faster. Jesus never lied, but then again Matthew wasn't sure unless he saw it.

"I am. I never lie," he said looking into his students eyes, reflecting nothing but honesty and reassurance.

Thank you God.

Matthew fell down at his feet crying. "Thank God."

Jesus simply smiled, continuing to whipe the other free of the blood from his hands.

"You must be tired, go and get some rest. Well visit him in the morning..."

---

The next day, they rushed to town, Matthew fidgeting the whole way. He hoped his friend didn't suffer too severe injuries, and he hoped they could go back to normal after this. He was just praising God for how lucky he was to have his friend alive.

They made it to the Roman outpost early, mainly because Matthew kept pushing them to go faster much to Simon's annoyance. When they got there, they were confronted by the other soliders. After all, a heard of Jews coming up was odd and dangerous.

"Stay back."

"Please, we are here to see Gaius. I'm his friend Matthew, the tax collector."

"A Jewish tax collector? You're lying."

He stiffened, ready for a fight before he saw Gaius step out from behind the cot, walking perfectly only with a bandage on his head and arm.

"Matthew?"

"Gaius," he cheered, running over to his friend and hugging him tightly. He knew it was highly inappropriate concidering the circumstances and Gaius injuries but it was worth it to at least hear Simon's blanche behind him at him being nice to a Roman. He hard Gaius groan in pain, but he didn't pull away, instead he hugged him back. Matthew started to bawl.

"I was so worried about you."

Gaius heaved a tired laugh, patting Matthews back good naturedly. "I was worried about you too. What were you doing in the market? You know from past work experience when something like that happens to run the other direction."

Matthew shook his head. Gaius was right, but he couldn't bare the thought of his friends and Gaius being hurt.

"Sorry, you're right. I was just worried my friends were stuck there, and when I saw the tax collecting booth, I thought you were hurt..."

The Roman sighed. "I understand but you're not as strong as me and the others. You need to stop getting into trouble."

Matthew let out a dry laugh, and Gaius just smiled knowingly.

They both pulled away, smiling happily at the fact that everyone was just fine.

"We've got to stop getting into trouble together like this."

Matthew laughed, but then suddenly felt out of place. Everyone was staring at them in awe, and confusion. He flushed in embarrassment, he wasn't used to all eyes being on him. The Romans of course with disgust, but Matthew didn't care.

All that mattered was that his friends were all okay.