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He could still feel the adrenaline gushing through his veins.
It had only been a while, probably just a few hours since then, but the jittery movement of his hands would argue against that. With each second that passed by, sitting on the steps of one of the houses in Bourou Village, he could not stop his fingers from twitching incessantly. As if they were still pressed against his weapon, still engaged in battle, still ready to fight for his life.
How ironic for the wandering samurai to be this shaken up. Though he bore an Anemo vision, a symbol of his laid-back, carefree nature, this was an occasion when Kazuha could not stop himself from worrying. It was difficult to take his mind away from the scene in front of Tenshukaku, the memory replaying in his mind like a movie reel.
Being overcome with the energy of two Visions simultaneously had been enough to spike his vigor. Kazuha could still recall deflecting the Shogun’s fatal strike on the traveler, wielding nothing but his sword, his Anemo vision, and the reawakened Electro vision of his fallen friend. His resonance with nature had made him hyper-aware of the air around him, fizzing with electricity, prickling his skin, yet accompanied by the gentle breeze he was so used to.
When he swung his sword against his foe, when the Shogun tried to strike him again only to be blocked, when he was flung off the stairs and back to his flank, skidding to a stop only by embedding his blade into the ground, that was when he finally understood the Archon’s power. It was only then could he comprehend the raw strength within her that ruled Inazuma with an iron fist, the strength that slain his dear friend so long ago. To say that he was overwhelmed was an understatement.
But in the heat of the moment, Kazuha did not have the time to recover from this realization. Because in those precious seconds after he had deflected her strike, he was treated to the spectacle of the Watatsumi General calling for the offensive.
“Attack!”
Watching him grip tightly on his bow, waving his hand to signal the army to advance, running onward with nothing but full intent to attack the Archon of Eternity.
No matter how hard he willed for his limbs to move, Kazuha could not move from his spot. It was as if his own body was terrified to stand against Raiden Shogun’s blade again. And perhaps he was terrified. Because while he watched the resistance army run past him, gritting his teeth in the desperate hope that he could somehow pull the general back to him, there was only one coherent thought in Kazuha’s mind.
“Don’t leave me.”
He wasn’t able to complete his sentence at the time, but thinking back to it now, that phrase was not the only thing on his mind. In fact, it had been a myriad of thoughts that swirled in his head while the resistance were charging to their deaths. He only realizes now that most of them were focused on the general.
Don’t leave me alone.
Don’t leave me like he did.
Don’t leave me to this life of solitude.
He curled his arms around his knees, hugging them close to his chest. Whatever Kazuha was thinking of at that moment, no one could tell.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Double check on the supplies that we have left, including any vulneraries and medical equipment distributed to the troops in your squad.” He instructed firmly, handing the soldier a clipboard. “You can use this as a checklist. Once you’re done, submit the completed report to my quarters. That should be enough for today.”
The soldier raised his hand in a formal salute. “Understood, General Gorou!”
Gorou smiled softly. “Good. You are dismissed.”
As his junior trotted away from him, returning back to his fleet, Gorou took his time to stroll back to his own abode, occasionally waving to the inhabitants of Bourou Village along the way. He would forever be grateful for their hospitality towards him and the Watatsumi Army, and how the villagers had constructed bunks for the soldiers and private houses for high-ranking officials such as himself. Their kindness always fuelled Gorou’s motivation to protect them and the peaceful lives they had.
The end of the Vision Hunt Decree had been abrupt and very unexpected. And though it was still warmly welcomed, Gorou knew better than to let his guard down. Since the day he joined the army, he had kept the story of Orobashi’s demise at the Shogun’s blade in his heart, and even now, he refused to trust the Shogunate despite their recent change of authority. Even if tensions between Narukami Island and Watatsumi Island were to relax in the future, he would never forget how the Raiden Shogun, as mighty of an Archon that she was, had robbed the ambitions and hopes of so many people by enacting the Vision Hunt Decree, closing off the whole nation with a cloak of thunder and clouds, and pulling innocent civilians into an almost endless battle that never should have happened.
Gorou was saved from spiraling into his thoughts further by the familiar sight of someone sitting by the stairs of his house, the red streak sticking out like a sore thumb against the rest of his white hair. Looking at him from a distance, the general realized how much Kazuha stood out against all of the island’s hues and shades, red and white contrasting against blues and purples.
A lovely contrast , he couldn’t help but think, though he kept those words to himself. Instead, he waved at the samurai. “Hey, Kazuha!”
The man in question lifted his head slightly, catching those friendly blue eyes. He smiled. “Good afternoon, General Gorou.”
Gorou puffed indignantly. “I thought I told you to drop the title, didn’t I?” He took a seat next to Kazuha, furrowing his brows at him. “I mean, it’s not like you’re drafted in the army.”
The samurai chuckled, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “True, I am not formally a part of the Resistance, but that doesn’t bar me from addressing you formally.”
“That’s…” Gorou reluctantly sighed. “I suppose I can’t convince you otherwise. I know how stubborn you are.”
“As are you, dear general.”
Somehow, that nickname made Gorou’s chest feel a little warmer. His tail seemed to agree with the sentiment too, seeing that it was swishing back and forth so much that it made Kazuha chuckle. “Your tail is traitorous to the frown on your face, Gorou. Are you that happy to see me?”
The panicked yelp from the otherwise composed and confident canine brought another laugh to the ronin’s lips. Something about Gorou dropping his serious face as a general, even for a split second, would always bring a strange fuzziness to Kazuha’s heart. As if he was receiving an exclusive facet of Gorou’s personality all to himself, something that would never be seen by anyone else, not even Her Excellency, Sangonomiya Kokomi, herself.
All the more reason why he treasured his dear friend’s life so much.
“A-anyway!” Gorou gathered himself once more, straightening out the fur on his tail gently. “It’s not like you to be sitting out here, Kazuha.” Ah, of course the ever-observant Gorou would notice his odd behavior. “Are you feeling okay?” The general continued, tentatively placing a hand on Kazuha’s back.
The young ronin bit his bottom lip. It was impossible to lie to Gorou and get away with it, at least when it came to him. No matter how many times he tried to distract the general with some throwaway phrases, the latter always found a way to get Kazuha to open up about whatever was bothering him. After that fateful first time, when he told Gorou of his late friend’s Vision, there was no escaping from Gorou’s metaphorical clutches.
“Just a bit tired.” He spoke half-heartedly. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth either.
Gorou nodded once, acknowledging the ronin’s response while removing the hand from his back. Already, Kazuha found himself missing the warmth of his palm in those short seconds after. “You know, you could always go ahead and use my cot if you ever need a nap.” Gorou insisted with the brightest of smiles. “No shame in needing to rest now and then. You taught me that, after all.”
“Ah, indeed I did.” The other man smiled softly at the fond memory. That day, Gorou had nearly worked himself to the bone with errands left and right; training new recruits at dawn break, handling supply transport between Bourou Village and Sangonomiya Shrine, patrolling the outskirts of their home for any enemies, interrogating a Fatui soldier that had been caught a few days prior… Despite the obvious fatigue weighing him down, he refused to take a break until Kazuha had to physically restrain him and carry him to bed for a well-deserved afternoon nap.
“Want to go for a walk?”
Kazuha blinked at the random suggestion. He certainly wasn’t expecting that from the general. “Why so sudden?”
Gorou shrugged. “Dunno, but you look like you need one.” He didn’t give the ronin a chance to respond before he gently grabbed his hand and motioned for him to stand up. “Come on, there’s a place I want to show you anyway.”
And Kazuha followed him. He didn’t dare to question it. Because if there was one thing he knew for certain, it was that once Gorou sets his mind on something, it was inherently impossible to change his mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Usually, I come here when I need to be alone with my thoughts.” Gorou explained as they walked on the path to their destination. “Not that Bourou Village feels threatening, but sometimes, I’d rather be by myself, you know?”
Trailing next to the general, Kazuha nodded. “That is perfectly understandable. It is only natural for you to find moments to relax.”
He didn’t respond after that, and the both of them thus resided in the comfortable silence between them as they walked together, side-by-side, to an area beyond the Sangonomiya Shrine. It wasn’t an entirely deafening silence, though; the rushing waterfalls and gentle breeze whistling through the grass proved otherwise. It was just the fact that neither of them needed to speak to each other, and they would still be at ease with one another. Gorou had learned first hand that the absence of dialogue, especially a prolonged one, was a common indication of a storm to come, and Kazuha too had learned this lesson on his individual travels.
And yet, here they were. Strolling on the dirt-laden path, crossing short tidepools of water, trudging up a slope of ground, all without saying a single word. It was only when they arrived at their destination that Gorou finally spoke. “We’re here.”
Before the both of them laid an old, tattered shrine, one that most certainly had seen its better days in a past long gone. The roof was badly damaged, a gaping hole in the middle that caused the whole thing to collapse on what remains of the wooden building. Nature had already taken over this structure, with a faint glow of green and blue moss crawling up its sides. An old, decapitated shrine that was once used for worship, now positioned against Watatsumi Island’s blue and pink grasslands and trees…
Somehow, it looked beautiful. Perhaps even nostalgic. At least, that’s what Kazuha thought.
“This is Mouun Shrine.” Gorou explained, pointing at it with his right hand. It was a miracle that Kazuha managed to steel himself when he realized that they were still holding hands. “It was constructed to commemorate the memory of Yuna Mouun, a shrine maiden from the Yuna Clan. She was one of the key figures involved in the battle between Orobashi and the Raiden Shogun.”
The ronin felt Gorou’s hand tightening a little around his own when the general said their archon’s name, and against his better judgement, Kazuha didn’t say a word. “I like coming here to look at all of Watatsumi Island, since no one really visits it.”
“So you and I are the only ones who know of this place, then?” It felt invasive, somehow, for the wind-bourne samurai to know such a place that Gorou frequented when he wanted to be alone.
Contrary to his rising worry, the canine general smiled kindly, his tail wagging back and forth as a positive sign. “I don’t mind. Being with you doesn’t make me stressed out.”
How frank he was with his words. Kazuha could feel his heart being filled with a pleasant warmth as they trotted over to the still-intact stairs of the shrine together, hands still interlocked with one another until Gorou had to break away to reach for something clasped on the back of his belt. After the ronin smoothed out his hakama pants and half-worn haori, he turned back to his dear friend, who unveiled the contents of his pack to him; two small cups and a full canteen of liquid.
He could smell a sudden hint of alcohol in the air. “Is that sake?”
Gorou laughed. “It is. I had a feeling you would know.” He gently placed the two cups on the steps of the shrine, afterwhich, he uncapped the canteen and slowly poured them their beverages. “Not sure if this grade is exactly the kind you had when you were a part of the Kaedehara Clan, but I can assure you that it’s the best I’ve ever had. At least, on Watatsumi Island.”
“No need to short-sell yourself, Gorou.” Kazuha insisted as they raised their cups and clinked them together in unison. “I wholeheartedly put my faith in you and your judgment.”
The general sighed, though he was still smiling. “You haven’t even had a sip, and you’re already spouting flowery words again.”
Kazuha only spared him a laugh in reply, before turning to the cup in his hands and taking a short sip of its contents. The alcohol, like many other fine wines he had in his lifetime as a wanderer, was quick to slither down his throat, leaving behind a sweet yet equally bitter aftertaste on his tongue. Indeed, it was not the best sake he had. He even dared to say that the sake sold at Uyuu Restaurant was better than this, though he still enjoyed it nonetheless. Perhaps it was Gorou’s presence by his side that improved the taste of this drink, if only by a small margin.
“How is it?” His dear friend asked eagerly, probably waiting for the appraisal of the beverage, as if the ronin was some drinking connoisseur. In the same amount of eagerness to entertain the general, Kazuha took another longer sip, closing his eyes as if in deep thought.
“This light bitter taste
Like fine picked fruits from afar
A wondrous feeling”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” A soft chuckle emitted from Gorou’s mouth, though his raised eyebrow would speak volumes of his confusion. Even after all this time, he would never get used to Kazuha’s flair of poetry and haikus.
Not that he minded it, of course. In fact, Kazuha wouldn’t mind explaining all of his haikus to the general, if it meant that he would listen to him so attentively. “I was comparing it to the tastes of other wines from other places. You would be surprised to see the difference in the quality of the Liyuean and Mondstadtian wines I’ve tried.”
“Hmm.” Gorou tentatively took another sip of his drink, essentially emptying the ceramic cup much faster than Kazuha did. “Not sure if I’ll be able to enjoy it like you do, but if you’re willing to take me there and introduce me, I’d love to try them.”
“Is this your confession that a wanderer’s life is as fruitful and meaningful as yours as a general, then?”
“Are you making fun of me and my past ramblings again?”
The ronin only smiled again at the canine warrior’s response, a question to answer a question. It was impossible to not smile whenever Gorou was around. Throwing around playful banter, sharing a drink, discussing battle techniques, sparring… Hell, even when they were lying on a hot rock in the afternoon and simply enjoying each other’s presence, there would be something for Kazuha to be happy about. So long as Gorou was by his side.
There was a short silence between them after the white-haired samurai’s laughter died down. It was pleasantly quiet as they sat on those rickety wooden steps, gazing at the horizon of Watatsumi Island.
“It’s beautiful.” Kazuha murmured to himself, though he knew that Gorou would hear it.
“It truly is.”
The general didn’t say anything after that, allowing silence to blanket the space between them once again. Kazuha took another hesitant sip of his sake while glancing at his friend, who now had a strangely forlorn smile on his lips.
“We… We almost didn’t get to see this today.” Gorou mused suddenly, a hint of somber in his usually lively voice. “Both of us, we nearly… lost our lives in that battle.”
Kazuha could feel a shiver crawl up his spine at the memory. So Gorou felt the pressure of that fateful fight as well. The fact managed to ease Kazuha’s stress a little, make him a little more relieved, now knowing that he wasn’t alone in experiencing those heavy feelings. “And yet we are here now, aren’t we?” He replied, attempting to lighten the mood. “You and I survived the war, and now we are free to view this sunset together-”
“You could have died, though.”
The words sliced through the friendly atmosphere like a carving knife. Suddenly, the silence between them felt hostile and cold.
A few seconds passed before Gorou started to wildly shake his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way, just that…” He probably caught the sight of Kazuha’s widened eyes, his hand shakily holding his cup of sake, making Gorou heave a short breath of air. “You went through something big. Huge, even. I mean, wielding two Visions at the same time? It’s never been heard of, let alone be witnessed.”
The samurai didn’t respond, though his crimson eyes remained trained on the general as he continued. “And I’m just… worried, you know? When you lunged at the Shogun, I thought you were going to…” Another hesitation and sigh. “Point is if you need to say something, anything , about what happened today, I’m all ears.”
Kazuha’s chest ached. Was this why Gorou approached him back in Bourou Village? Because he looked like he needed to voice his thoughts? But almost instantly, he felt so hesitant to burden the general with more ramblings. Surely, he did not deserve that after today.
The ronin was silent for a while. He was probably being stubborn with his current train of thought to reject Gorou’s offer, but something within him held his tongue in a vice grip, preventing him from saying how he truly felt. Because in reality, yes, he was overwhelmed by that fateful clash of Inazuman blades, but it was nothing compared to the gut-wrenching fear that his old friend, so dear to him now, could have…
The words Gorou said to him a few minutes ago were now burning on Kazuha’s tongue, his mind floating back to the adrenaline, that memory of Gorou throwing his own life on the line by charging at the Shogun himself. Except unlike Kazuha, who was blessed with the subsidiary powers of his deceased friend, Gorou was alone. With his troops and united as one, but still alone. Alone with his sole Geo vision. Alone as the only sharpshooter unit sent for that fight. Alone with no one else leading the charge besides him.
After all, at that moment, Kazuha wasn’t by his side.
“I guess if you don’t want to talk, I can understand.” Gorou finally broke the silence, sheepishly scratching his head. “Just…”
He looked like he was holding his tongue as well. For what reason, Kazuha couldn’t really tell. “Just… be more careful next time, alright?”
‘Be more careful’.
Of course the general would suggest such advice.
Even if he was not so careful just a couple of hours ago.
Just hearing those words made Kazuha snap. Perhaps it was the combination of Gorou’s reckless actions, Kazuha’s own self-pity of not standing with him, and his now very present fear of one day losing Gorou, that the samurai unintentionally grumbled. “Bold for you to say such things, general.”
“Huh?”
“You’re just as stubborn as ever.” Kazuha continued, surprised at how tense his tone was. “Charging into a fight like that, without so much of a second thought? Have you not learned about the danger of losing your composure?”
The teal in Gorou’s eyes was gleaming with provoked annoyance. “Me losing my composure? Speak for yourself! You jumped in and blocked the Musou no Hitotachi , Kazuha!” His fluffy tail whipped to the side as his eyebrows furrowed. “That could have killed you, do you realize that?”
“So you decide to jump into the fight even after witnessing such a feat?” Kazuha retaliated. “After seeing me deflect the blade with all of my strength, you decide that you could take her on by yourself ?”
“I-!!” The general took a moment to inhale a shallow breath of air. “I don’t even know why you’re so agitated by all this. Weren’t you the one who said that we should be lucky that we’re alive?”
“You told me to be careful when you won’t do the same.”
“I… I just said that because I was worried for you.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you were just as reckless as I was.”
Gorou clicked his tongue. “What is this really about, Kazuha? Are you doubting that I wouldn’t be worried for my friend’s life when he tried to stand up against a god?”
“And do you know how afraid I was for yours?”
There was no mistaking the crack in his voice, the shiver in his clenched fists, the woeful light reflected in those crimson eyes. Even this close up, sitting next to each other and facing one another, Gorou could not tell if the ronin was about to scold him harshly once again, or if he was about to cry.
“Do you know how afraid I was?” Kazuha repeated, swallowing before he spoke again. “In that moment, Gorou, I faced the strength of a god . A being so terrifying that it killed other gods without breaking a sweat, a ruler so obsessed with her ‘eternity’ that she had the heart to slay anyone who stood in her way.”
“When I felt her blade against mine, I could picture all that my dead friend had witnessed when he was slain.” Little by little, his heart began to pour out to the general, the thoughts he tried to bottle up earlier now overflowing. “The way he met his end under her blade, and now I was facing it with my own strength. I don’t need to tell you how unbalanced it was; you saw how she towered over me.”
By now, Gorou was patiently listening to Kazuha as he spoke, attentive yet with a despondent frown on his face. He didn’t have to be reminded of how much it hurt Kazuha when his friend was killed by the Raiden Shogun. The first few days of Kazuha simply wandering about at the resistance and speaking to no one spoke volumes on how it had affected him.
“And here you are telling me to be careful-!” Kazuha nearly dropped his almost-forgotten cup if it weren’t for the general leaning over to catch it in time. Thankfully, its contents had been emptied earlier, and Gorou took the liberty of placing it back on the steps of Mouun Shrine, his hands now holding Kazuha’s shaky ones so gently. “When you lunged at the Shogun, I felt the same thing, Gorou! I thought you were going to… ”
He didn’t dare to say the next word. It felt like a curse to do so. Thankfully, Gorou did not either.
Instead, the general did something that took Kazuha by surprise. Slowly, he wrapped an arm around Kazuha’s shoulder, his other hand pulling him closer to his chest as he gave the ronin a hug from the side, enveloping the latter with a loving blanket of care. The samurai suddenly felt so small in Gorou’s embrace, but considering the emotionally vulnerable state he was in, he accepted it immediately. The same would be said for how he allowed Gorou to stay in that position, resting his head on Kazuha’s shoulders, his twitching ears tickling his cheeks a little.
“I’m sorry for worrying you.” He whispered, knowing that the samurai would hear it loud and clear. “I didn’t mean to be reckless back there, I just… Seeing you almost getting killed like that… I guess it riled me up more than usual.”
“And I’m also sorry for provoking you, too.” He added with a pathetic chuckle for himself. “I guess I was the one who started this little fight in the end, wasn’t I?”
“You’re not the only one at fault, Gorou.” Kazuha replied softly, feeling that familiar warmth dance about in his chest at how protective the canine hybrid was. “I must apologize as well for rambling so suddenly. I am pretty sure that could all be worded in a better way.”
“I don’t blame you. Emotions can run high. I would know.” Gorou chuckled. “Besides, you don’t need to worry about me so much. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
He raised an eyebrow at the faux-warning. “Is that a threat, Gorou?”
“Yes, it is.” He replied, and Kazuha swore that the general’s arms wrapped around his figure got a little tighter at that moment. “Even if I can’t walk or fight, I will never leave your side, Kazuha.”
“How loyal.” The young ronin leaned in closer to Gorou’s chest. “Thank you, my dear reckless general.”
Despite the nickname he was given, Gorou could only laugh in reply. In hindsight, they were both rather young. And youth always came with recklessness.
But perhaps it was because of their youth that the worry they had for one another was immeasurable. To live without knowing if you would be able to meet someone dear to you again, without either parties dying before then… Both Kazuha and Gorou had found out how such a life could bring so much worry and anxiety in their lives.
“Hey, let’s make a promise.”
Kazuha tilted his head a little, away from snuggling into Gorou’s chest as he turned to look at him. “Here?”
“Here.” The other young man confirmed with a determined smile. “We’ll promise each other something. That way, we both have to keep it. For the sake of the other.”
The ronin found himself smiling widely at that. “A double promise?”
“Is that too childish, maybe?”
“Oh, no.” The warmth in his chest was unmistakable. “I’d love to.”
Gorou beamed, as if he had been planning this for a while. “Okay. So… I’ll start, if that’s alright?”
“Of course.”
The general took in a deep breath, steeling himself for this moment. “I promise… that I will try - emphasis on ‘try’ - to be less reckless in battle. I promise to not let the fighting get to my head so quickly, and to evaluate the situation on the battlefield before I charge in without thinking.”
“That is very sensible of you, Gorou.” Kazuha noted, enjoying the sight of Gorou’s tail wagging a little at the praise. “I’m sure that with enough practice, you will be a better general than before.”
“I know I will!” The canine warrior replied with a resolute gleam in his eyes that made Kazuha giggle again. It was only after Gorou spoke again that the white-haired ronin’s laughter died down. “So, what about you? What’s your promise?”
He closed his eyes in deep thought. “My promise…”
A promise to seal with his dear friend. A promise to always think of him…
“I promise… to put more faith in you, dear general.” He uttered, as if it was something he needed to tell himself urgently. “To trust in your strength as much as I trust my own. And that I will not woefully worry about your safety when you’ve proven yourself to be very competent on the battlefield.”
“And…” Kazuha managed to continue just as the hybrid was about to speak. “I also promise to come to you whenever I really need to speak my mind. After all, being in your presence makes me feel relaxed too.”
The dazed look in those turquoise eyes was mesmerizing. So was the way Gorou spoke his name, how it suddenly felt rather intimate and affectionate. “Kazuha…”
The ronin didn’t bother to provide an explanation, only holding up his extended pinky like that of a young boy. “So, shall we seal our promises, dear friend?”
Those words were followed by two fingers interlocked with one another in a childish ‘pinky promise’, and a chorus of relieved laughter from the two young survivors of war.
Youth of tomorrow
I treasure this time with you
Reckless & worried