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Oh God.
This had been the worst idea ever. Literally the absolute worst idea he could ever manage to come up with in his entire life. Jack wished he could go back in time, slap his younger self, and tell him that he was the dumbest fuck to ever walk the earth.
Seriously.
Currently, he was sitting across the table in front of his "date." It wasn't as though it was going bad, though. It wasn't as though Mark was a terrible date, either. In fact, he was probably one of the best dates that Jack had ever been on. It was just the little, tiny issue of Jack could hardly talk to him without freaking out.
He kept his hands firmly on his own knees, gripping at them and wiping his sweaty palms with practically every breath he took.
Mark, though? Mark was great. It was painfully obvious that Mark was out of his league. After meeting up with him this afternoon, he had taken him down to a little coffee shop on the corner of Main Street, just east of where he'd gone shopping a few days ago. After they'd ordered drinks and sat down, Mark had launched into conversation and man, oh man, this guy was meant for bigger and better things.
There was something about the way that Mark spoke and acted that just made Jack giddy. He was so cool and collected and laughed at all the right moments, and was understanding at the other ones. Jack felt bad for talking so little, but usually he just nodded his head and let Mark roll on, and he was honestly ashamed to admit he was more focused on his mouth rather than the words coming out of it.
Not to say that Mark didn't interest him at all. In fact, he was incredibly interested in him. Mark was some sort of tech worker who primarily did his job through the Internet, but Jack didn't really follow exactly what is was that he did. He just knew that whatever it was, Mark seemed to enjoy it well enough. As well, Mark told him little stories of his various years in school, which had Jack stiffing his laughter by biting down on his lip and turning away, as if coughing.
After a while, Jack stirred his coffee idly, hardly taking a sip, as Mark took another swig of his, having just finished one of said stories. He let out a content sigh, and then smiled softly. “God, excuse me. I'm talking way too much. I have a really bad habit of doing that. Please, Jack. Tell me about you.”
His heart thumped in his chest. What was there to say? Hi, my name is Jack and I'm a weirdo who lives alone and practically lives off of takeout? Hi, my name is Jack and I'm a outlandish college nerd with a degree in management but somehow ended up working in web design? Hi, my name is Jack and I really, really, really want to kiss you?
Jack didn't say any of this. Instead, he cleared his throat, and asked, “What do ye want to know?”
Mark shrugged. “Anything. Go for it. I just rambled on about my life, so please feel free to do the same.”
Not really, Jack thought. Mark hadn't rambled at all. They were all eloquently structured sentences that flowed together in the most interesting way. There hadn't been one moment Jack was bored listening to Mark talk.
Jack thought about what a lame date he was. Then he looked at Mark and remembered that, again, this guy was utterly out of his league, and he had no idea what he was doing.
But with those beautiful brown eyes fixated on him, Jack offered a half hearted shrug. “It's, ah. There's not much ta say, really. I'm jus'...Jack. Grew up normal. Went to school. Finished school. Went to university. Finished university. Am currently doing nothing in my major.”
He laughed awkwardly at that. Then he shrugged again. A pause followed and took a huge swig of his coffee in hopes that he wouldn't have to make eye contact, knowing he would probably see significant disinterest in Mark's eyes.
Yet, when he sat the cup down, Mark was still smiling. He went on, “Hey, you know. Don't feel bad. Most people don't do anything in their major. Except for teachers. What did you major in? And what did you end up doing?”
There it was again. That flicker inside him. How did he always know what to say? Jack knew he was probably blushing again but couldn't contain the small laugh that escaped him as he began to describe his life.
They had talked for way longer than Jack had been anticipating. After his initial uncertainty, Mark slowly made him feel at ease. Eventually, his hands finally moved from gripping the life out of his knobby knees to the table, and then in the air from time to time as he described various aspects of his life, like growing up with a plethora of siblings and what being the baby of the family was like. Mark, in turn, talked about his brother and his two best friends in the world, who were practically brothers in all but blood.
It felt so good, Jack thought. It felt so good to be able talk to someone like this. He'd fallen out of contact with most of his friends from university, and all of his friends from high school. Jack recognized he'd become somewhat of a recluse these days, and living, breathing human interaction felt incredible.
Before long, Mark looked down at his watch. “Oh, shit. We've been here for three hours already.”
“No way,” Jack replied. It hadn't felt like it at all. “You're serious?”
“Dead,” Mark said. He tapped the rim of his cup. “I guess then we ought to get going, huh?”
Going to where? Jack didn't know. All that was waiting for him at home was to answer a few emails, touch up on some websites he'd been designing, play some games or sleep. All which could be done in about four to five hours. Afterwards, he didn't know what he was going to do.
Jack really, really, really needed a new hobby.
But instead of voicing all of that, he said, “Oh, yeah. Right. Well, ahm, thanks again for yer help.”
Mark laughed. “Really. It wasn't that big of a deal.”
A moment of silent passed over them before Mark said, “Jack? If...it's alright, I'd like to see you again.”
Jack thought his eyes must be tricking him, because Mark looked a little flushed. Okay, he knew he was blushing now. His heart rate had picked up immensely in the last three seconds. Mark wanted to see him again? As in, go on another date? He pulled at the collar of his shirt, the only nice one he owned, practically, and muttered, “Y-yeah? That's..ahm...I'd like to see ya again too, Mark.”
A soft sigh. Mark grinned. “Great. Here, let me give you my number, and you can give me yours...”
They quickly exchanged contact information, and Jack almost couldn't believe this was actually happening.
“I'll call you?” Mark prompted, and Jack shook his head, perhaps a bit too eagerly.
“Yeah, yeah. Please do,” he replied, unable to help himself from smiling like what he could feel probably looked like an utter idiot, showing his teeth and everything.
Mark stared at him for a long moment, almost thoughtful, before he grinned again, and said goodbye.
Jack stared down at Mark's number in his phone and thought to himself he was likely the damn luckiest Irishman in the world.