Work Text:
Seungmin is rounding the corner on his way to the company building when 3RACHA’s van passes by and Jisung sticks his head out the window, blonde hair whipping in the wind despite the fact that it’s been meticulously styled for whatever schedule he has going on, and hollers at the top of his lungs for all of Seoul to hear, “KIM SEUNGMIN! YOU ARE SO COOL! I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!”
Seungmin stops in his tracks, popping out one of his airpods in case Jisung has any follow-up commentary, although the rapper has the lung capacity to be heard from outer space.
Jisung’s face grows smaller in the distance, waving with both arms at Seungmin going all the way down the street before someone finally reels him back inside. Seungmin cracks a smile upon remembering that Jisung and his other members are supposed to be recording for Sketchbook this morning.
So much for preserving his voice.
“Idiot,” Seungmin mumbles fondly to himself.
The crowd of fans loitering around trying to catch a glimpse of their favorite idols, who normally don’t give Seungmin anything more than a cursory glance to determine whether or not he’s somebody of note (he’s not) are suddenly looking very intently at Seungmin now.
Unused to so much attention without firstly having a microphone in hand, Seungmin pulls his cap down further over his head and books it into the company building, scurrying past the entrance for JYP BOB and through the fingerprint-protected turnstiles. Safely inside, he is cocooned by peace and quiet once again.
“Seungmin, hi.”
He looks around to see Lia, waiting patiently by the elevator doors. She beckons him over.
“Good morning, Lia.”
Her smile is blinding. “Congrats again on the debut. I saw that you cracked Melon’s Top 100.”
“Barely.” Seungmin rubs the back of his neck, abashed, and laughs. Here Always debuted at #99 last night. “It’s mostly because of Jisung-sunbae recommending the song to all of his fans.”
Lia smirks much too knowingly in return. “I heard he did more than just recommend the song. Rumor has it he broke his social media drought of over a month to help promote your album and also promised a special selca with all of 3RACHA if his fans brought copies and helped stream all of your songs.”
Seungmin blushes. The rumors are true. His mentions haven’t stopped blowing up since yesterday with screenshots hashtagged #doitforJisung. And even if that wasn’t the case, Seungmin follows Jisung on every available platform and actually saw the post go live last night. Sheepishly, Seungmin adverts his eyes. “Um, yeah.”
Here Always makes it onto both the real time and 24 hour charts that first day and is still charting, even now. This is nothing for 3RACHA stans who are rabid at best and celebrate group selcas with a fervor only slightly below that of an actual comeback because both come so few and far between. “What Jisung wants, Jisung gets!” is the mentality they carry with them.
Amidst dozens of stream teams deploying their troops, there’s also rampant speculation online over whether or not the company is putting him up to it since Jisung is, for some indiscernible reason, pulling out all of the stops for Seungmin’s debut.
It would make more sense if they had trained together, if they had all those years of shared history between them, long nights spent inside practice rooms prepping for monthly evaluations, eating convenience store dosiraks and sharing sips of shitty, vending machine coffee to keep awake; if they had been each other’s shoulder to lean on when the exhaustion settled deep into their bones, a confidant to share the weight of each other’s deeply-held fears of their ‘someday’ becoming never.
As it is, he and Jisung are practically strangers. The older boy debuted years ago in a hip hop group while Seungmin is a newly-minted soloist under Studio J. 3RACHA was selling out world tours by the time Seungmin started learning step 1 of 41 of JYP’s Basic Dance Moves. They are a Craigslist Missed Connection at best.
Occasionally, they’ll cross paths in the company hallways where Seungmin makes sure to bow three times, once for every member, and deeply, so that the lines of his upper body run parallel to the ground. It’s only polite. Chan and Changbin always say hello, but Jisung lingers behind without saying a word, although Seungmin gets the impression that he wants to. There’s always something about his gaze that lingers, afterwards, when Seungmin turns the corner and 3RACHA continue on their way.
Lia sighs as she breezes past the doors when their elevator carriage arrives. “I can only hope he treats my group as well when it’s our turn next year.”
Seungmin seizes the change in topic as the lifeline it is and follows Lia inside. “Have they given you a date yet?”
“Sometime early, I think. In the third quarter, according to all of the investor reports.”
“You have to learn about that sort of thing through investor reports?”
Lia pats him on the cheek even though she has to lift up onto her tiptoes to reach. She smiles and says, “That’s show business, baby.”
♡
Seungmin continues riding on Jisung’s coattails when 3RACHA make their official comeback two weeks later and Seungmin’s songs are being used as fillers on everyone’s streaming playlists. He charts even higher than before and this success, seen as coming out of left field for a total rookie, prompts the general public to check out the rest of Seungmin’s work.
Predictably, the singer is well-received—Koreans love their ballads, after all—and this goodwill translates into a lot more opportunities for Seungmin to promote on television and radio broadcasts normally reserved for more better-established artists.
“They’re extending my promo period?” Seungmin asks.
His manager nods. “They’re also sending you on Tuesday’s Dekira recording with 3RACHA. It’ll be like a whole JYP Family Reunion thing.”
“Haven’t I taken advantage of their kindness enough?” Seungmin frowns.
“With 3RACHA? There’s no such thing. They have kindness in excess.”
This is how Seungmin finds himself shuffling through the hallways of the KBS building with a box of donuts in hand, a meager thank you gift that doesn’t come close to scratching the surface of his appreciation for all that Jisung and his group have done to make sure Seungmin’s debut is a successful one.
Palms clammy, he doesn’t know if he’d rather be the first one into the recording room and be forced to wait in anticipation for the three of them to arrive, or come later and be forced to contend with everyone’s eyes turning to face him when he walks through the door.
In the end, it is a mix of both. Seungmin bumps into Changbin as he’s rounding the corner and feels the air getting knocked out of his lungs. He scrambles to keep the box of treats from slipping out of his grasp, backing up in an attempt to maintain his balance and accidentally backing up into Chan. Jisung is watching everything happen with an expression of concern before it morphs into amusement at the sight of Seungmin cradled between the muscled safety of the older boy’s arms.
“What happened to your shirt sleeves?” Seungmin asks, dazed as he looks down at all of the rippling skin uncovered despite the chill of Autumn outside.
“He Hulked out of them in the car.” Jisung beams.
Chan chuckles and sets Seungmin standing upright. “He’s joking. I always run warm.”
“Are you alright?” Changbin asks.
“Yeah,” Seungmin answers. He awkwardly extends the box of donuts towards the older boy. “These are for you.”
“For me?”
He clarifies, “For all three of you. For everything you’ve done.”
Chan lifts up the lid and selects a jelly-filled one. He eats the whole thing in two bites, although Seungmin suspects he could’ve done it in one but didn’t want to freak Seungmin out and in public no less. Chan swipes his tongue over the little bit of powdered sugar clinging to the corner of his mouth before remarking, “We didn’t really do much though?”
“It was mostly Jisung,” Changbin clarifies, taking the box off Seungmin’s hands.
Seungmin bows politely towards the youngest 3RACHA member. “Thank you, sunbae.”
Jisung blushes. He’s unable to look Seungmin in the eyes when he mumbles, “It’s nothing.”
Chan slings an affectionate arm over Seungmin’s shoulders. He’s normally pretty protective about his personal space but gives Chan a pass because he’s like an overgrown golden retriever. His affection is smothering without being suffocating. Side by side, they walk to the broadcast room together. On the way, he instructs Seungmin to, “Call us hyung. Well, except for Jisung. You’re an 00z like him, right?”
“I’m still a week older!” Jisung protests.
Changbin scoffs. “You looked up his birthday, too?”
Jisung doesn’t have a rebuttal, mouth clamping shut into a thin, downturned line, so it must be true. His entire face flames a violent, candy-apple red. Medically, Seungmin doesn’t know how long a person can survive when all of the blood in their body is currently pooled beneath their cheeks.
“My birthday is pretty easy to remember since it’s on the same day as Jinyoung and Nayeon-sunbae’s.”
It’s a plausible enough excuse that Jisung seems grateful for him for providing. Chan and Changbin don’t look entirely convinced but drop any further attempts at teasing 3RACHA’s baby. It wouldn’t do to fluster Jisung to the point of malfunctioning right before their radio show. Changbin explains that, depending on the day, Jisung can turn on the charm like a light switch or it could take him hours to psych himself up for a schedule.
Chan leans in to whisper in Seungmin’s ear, “He’s also extra nervous with you here.”
In contrast, the atmosphere on Dekira is relaxed. YoungK is a senior that Seungmin saw a lot around the company building when he was a trainee and someone he frequently goes to for advice in the months leading up to his debut. YoungK’s also close with Chan. Paired with the DJ’s already easy-going personality, everyone’s chemistry during recording is palpable and oozes through their every interaction. There’s a steady banter back and forth that Seungmin participates in without worrying too much about the polished and polite image he’s cultivated thus far. As a soloist, there’s aspects of his personality that don’t shine through as much when he’s promoting, when he’s forced to generate chemistry with just himself; aspects like his bratty side and somewhat acerbic tongue. Both come out in full-force although Seungmin is good about never crossing the line.
3RACHA takes his teasing in stride. Changbin, in particular, seems to enjoy it despite the whiny way he protests every ribbing he gets. “Kim Seungmin,” he says, trying to affect a serious tone but his lips quiver from the force of keeping his laughter at bay. “I’m only letting you get away with it because you’re cute. Like a puppy in need of obedience training.”
YoungK chimes in, “Seungmin-ssi does remind you of a puppy, doesn’t he?”
“Especially when he smiles,” Chan supplies. He, himself, is smiling. Chan’s dimples have been a permanent fixture on his face the entire time they’ve been on air.
“I’ve always wanted to raise a puppy,” Jisung comments, almost off-handedly.
YoungK raises an eyebrow, amused, and asks for further clarification “What are you saying? That you want to raise Seungmin?”
“No,” Jisung says confidently. Stupidly. “ I’d rather he be my boyfriend instead.”
♡
Jisung goes viral. Not just amongst 3RACHA fans or the KPop community but in general. Even Seungmin’s grandmother who lives up in the mountains and whose only connection to modern society is through a corded landline used it to call Seungmin the other day. "Congratulations on your cute new boyfriend, Min-ah!"
It starts off as a trending topic on Twitter before migrating over to TikTok. The clip of Jisung’s confession starts making its rounds on the variety circuit as other idols are forced to recite the line as a nauseating new form of fanservice. Gong Yoo does it in an interview while promoting his new film and makes the nightly news. THE PRESIDENT–
“--Jisung, calm down. I’m sure the President has no idea you even exist.”
“It would cost you absolutely nothing to let me go on believing that the President is a huge fan of me.”
“Sure,” Changbin says and then adds in air quotes, “President Shin Taehyung is a huge fan of you. The #1 Hanner in the world. When he was sworn into office, he actually swore on your photocard. The one from our first mixtape album, even.”
“Can you at least try to mean it?”
Seungmin buries his face in his hands. This is not a promising start to their meeting.
The four of them are seated across from each other in a conference room flanked on either side by the heads of publicity for their respective divisions. Everyone’s got a tablet out with the accompanying tablet pen in hand. It all feels very official.
Jamie clears her throat and grabs everyone's attention at once. “Settle down, boys. This is actually a good thing. The public’s response to Jisungie’s confession has been wholly positive and adds to Seungmin’s developing image as the Nation’s Boy Crush. This meeting isn’t so much meant to be a reprimand, although you,” she points a manicured finger at Jisung, who shrinks in his seat, “really need to develop a brain-to-mouth filter at some point in your career. Rather, we’re gathered here today to discuss how to capitalize on all of this media attention and to forward the momentum for more schedules and future brand deals.”
Jisung scoffs. “I don’t know how to feel about commodifying my precious first love like this.” It’s meant to be a joke but delivered with a timidness, too false of a bravado, that it gives Seungmin pause.
He blinks at Jisung from across the table. “Am I really your first love?”
“It’s not – that is, I mean.” Jisung runs a hand through his thick head of hair. His shoulders deflate. In a quieter voice, Jisung says, “Kind of. Yeah.”
Seungmin feels bad. At the time, YoungK treated it as a joke, doing damage control while live on air, and Seungmin went along with it. He never gave Jisung a proper response and in the weeks that followed, Jisung didn’t ask for one. So Seungmin assumed it was all just an act, a flirty side that Jisung was testing out and using Seungmin as proxy for the millions of fans listening in. He didn’t think any of it was real.
“Perfect!” Jamie claps. “We’ll do some media play for the next few months. It’s a win-win. Jisung gets a couple dates, 3RACHA gets more heightened visibility, and Seungmin gets a major boost to his career. So really, it’s a win-win-win.”
The executives around the table grumble and nod in assent.
“Hold on,” Chan interrupts. “You’re not seriously suggesting that they fake date, are you?”
“Why not? Celebrities do it all the time.”
“Jiminnie,” Chan sighs.
“Christopher,” she cooly returns.
Seungmin swings his gaze between the two of them, an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. He had no idea that Jamie’s real name isn’t Jamie much less that she and Chan are actually close.
“These are real people you’re talking about.”
“And this is show business.”
That phrase again. Seungmin folds his hands and places them neatly in his lap. He wonders if his grasp on the industry is just as green as he is. He thought he knew the price of fame, conceptually. But to experience it first-hand – being moved and directed like a pawn in a game over vending machine coffee on a Monday afternoon, manipulation for the sake of selling a false but highly profitable image – is overwhelming.
Jamie’s attitude is one of a cool detachment towards the whole situation. Corporately cavalier. “It’s just a couple of dates and some pictures sold privately to Dispatch – what’s the harm? You don’t even have to call them dates. Just be seen together at the same place, at the same time. Post about each other occasionally. Quietly break up. Or keep dating. It’s up to you two. It’s a chance at love! Aren’t you the one always complaining about being too busy to meet people?”
“I’m busy because that’s my choice. I made it.”
“Then let Jisung and Seungmin make theirs.” She dismisses Chan entirely. “Well, what do you say?”
Jisung is silent. He’s waiting for Seungmin to take the lead. The ball is effectively in his court. “I don’t know . . .”
“That’s fine. You don’t have to make a decision today. You don’t have to make a decision at all and we can simply let this situation run its course. Worst case scenario, Jisung becomes a walking punchline for a bit, the butt of a few jokes. Eventually, the world will move on. We can sue anyone who doesn’t. But I can’t stress enough how great an opportunity this is for you all professionally.”
Jamie emphasizes the word professionally while her intonation suggests rationally. As if turning down this proposal would be the height of illogical.
Seungmin, mind racing and in need of a place to sort through his thoughts when he’s not under careful observation by eight curious pairs of eyes, settles on a quietly reserved, “I’ll think about it.”
Without anything else to discuss, the meeting dissolves. Seungmin hangs back, zoning out as he watches everyone pack up and leave, before it’s only him and Jisung left in the room.
“You don’t have another schedule today?” 3RACHA are still in the middle of promotions. He imagines it was hard finding a block of time to hold this meeting in the first place.
“No. We always make sure to carve out some time to work on stuff in the studio. They’re already pushing for a repackage in July.”
“That’s nuts.”
“The grind never ends.”
They fall into an awkward silence. Jisung noisily clears his throat before he assumes a somewhat sheepish expression. “I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?” Seungmin should be the one who’s sorry for not taking Jisung’s sincerity at face value.
“For putting you on the spot. For my terrible timing. I swear I wanted to confess in a much cooler way after we got to know each other better and I win you over with my irresistible charms. You’d say yes and go weak at the knees and then I carry you off into the sunset.”
“Is that so?” Seungmin can’t help but chuckle.
“I started working out for this specifically.” Jisung flexes his muscles but he’s not entirely joking. Jisung’s arms have made some serious gains compared to what Seungmin remembers of them during 3RACHA’S last comeback, a summer concept that meant a lot of tank tops and cropped sleeves, making Jisung look comparatively smaller in a lineup next to gym rats like Changbin and Chan. At this rate though, Seungmin wonders when the nickname BEEFCAKE-RACHA will catch on.
“I see.”
“So what do you think? About Jamie-noona’s plan.”
Seungmin answers honestly, “It’s like something out of a drama.”
“I think we should do it.”
He initially gapes at the rapper before closing his mouth and drawing his lips into a frown. “I’m not so sure. It would feel too much like I’m . . taking advantage of your feelings.” Because Seungmin is Jisung’s first love. Apparently.
“Don’t get a big head about it!” Jisung flushes. “It’s only slightly more intense than a crush and mostly because I like your voice. And because I think you are cute. Like really, really cute.” He flushes harder. “But yeah. It’s not that serious. So don’t feel bad and turn down a good opportunity because you think you’re ‘taking advantage’ of me or whatever. I’ll be fine, I promise.”
“This isn’t nearly as beneficial for you as it would be for me. If anything, it would ruin the illusion of availability for your fans. They’d be heartbroken. Some of them might go on to become antis.” He’s heard horror stories about people like that from company seniors and on message boards on the internet. Being caught dating as an idol isn’t nearly as taboo as it used to be for the earlier generations but it’s not without challenges either.
“I have trust in Ninjas to support me in my relationships. And those that don’t, I wouldn’t want to call my fans anyways. Besides,” Jisung leans back in his chair, kicking his feet up in a show of nonchalance but fails to nail the execution. The chair tips over, dangerously close to falling, and throws Jisung off-balance so his left foot barely manages to scuff the lip of the table. Embarrassingly, his boot lands with a thud onto the ground. Jisung scrambles to recover what’s left of his dignity as Seungmin tries not to outright point at him and laugh.
“As I was saying!” Jisung half-yells before clearing his throat, making sure his feet are planted firmly and he’s sitting upright. Jisung scoots in closer so that he can fold his hands atop the table, the picture of businesslike if it weren’t for the furious rush of blood to his face and ears, generating enough heat from the neck up to raise the temperature of the room. “I think it would be beneficial for me too since I’ve never. Um. I’ve never been in a relationship before, real or fake, and I’d like to try. With you . . . For the sake of my music!”
“Your music?” Seungmin tilts his head in confusion.
Jisung nods. “Yeah. For my music. Because everyone’s always telling me to write what I know but everything I know, I learned from television and manhwas and other people’s stories. I want to experience it for myself and write from the heart, you know? I want my lyrics to be more authentic and sincere. I want to experience everything with you.”
What a line. Seungmin’s heart stops beating for a second . . two seconds. This can’t be medically safe.
Jisung continues, “So, if you think about it, you’re the one doing me the bigger favor. Not the other way around.”
He makes it sound so easy to say yes. But . . .
“I don’t know.” Seungmin’s not a huge fan of lying or advancing his career under false pretenses. What if it all blows up in his face?
Jisung doubles down before Seungmin can make up his mind and say no. “Give me a chance to woo you. For however long we’re contracted to see each other, I’ll make you fall in love with me. You’re going to love me so much. A stupid amount. As much as I love you.”
The challenge is evident in his tone. Seungmin’s not sure if Jisung is naturally competitive or if it’s for the sake of easing Seungmin’s mind and lightening the mood, or what. “Don’t sound so confident, Han Jisung.”
Jisung simply smiles, heart-shaped, between a pair of marshmallow cheeks. “Just you wait, Kim Seungmin. I’ll be carrying you into the sunset soon.”
♡
Jamie compromises in the end.
The official statement is that they’re not together, per se. The language she uses is something more vague and flowery and full of shit. Seungmin and Jisung are simply “seeing each other with good feelings” – whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean. She runs the quote by a dozen different news sources and watches as it makes front page news. It’s kind of amazing seeing the organized chaos that ensues.
Say what you will, but Jamie Park is incredibly good at her job.
“Noona just texted,” Jisung announces. “She said she’d like the photos posted before 2 PM but time them to go up at least thirty minutes apart”
Seungmin, squatting at eye-level to a bed of crocuses in bloom, has to shield his eyes while looking up at Jisung, backlit by the sun. “Is that a request or a command?”
“Is there a difference?” Jisung laughs and squats down next to Seungmin. “You’re prettier, by the way.”
“Yah, Han Jisung. I haven’t had my lunch yet. Don’t make me lose my appetite.”
“I haven’t eaten either,” Jisung is quick to respond. “Let’s go together!”
Nevermind that Seungmin definitely saw Jisung scarfing down an entire tray of food in JYPBOB while he was grabbing a cup of coffee earlier, but whatever. “Sure.”
Jisung’s entire face brightens up. He beams. “It’s a date!”
Surprisingly, it is their first. Seungmin had assumed that embarking on this fake dating campaign would involve a lot more actual dates but Jamie’s insistent on a more subtle approach. “It’s all about the suggestion of a relationship rather than the confirmation of one that will keep people’s interests piqued.”
As a result, they’ve kept mostly out of the public eye save for the occasional mention about hanging out with “a friend” over Bubble. Today, they’re taking things to the next level and taking pictures together – or rather, taking pictures of themselves but standing in the same location, on the rooftop garden of the company building – and posting them, as per Jamie’s instructions, at least thirty minutes apart. Their hawk-eyed fans will no doubt place the two of them together and a field day is bound to erupt.
Jisung gets approved for his post right away while Seungmin’s manager is pulling double-duty between him and another artist under StudioJ so he’s still waiting. Jising uploads his photo first by default.
Seungmin’s quite proud of the shot. He manages to make Jisung’s legs look a mile long, the rapper posing beneath the shade of two trees with branches twined together to form an arched canopy overhead. An errant breeze carries a flower petal past the camera lens as Seungmin takes the shot, the edges blurred a pearly pink from the movement, perfectly covering the upper half of Jisung’s face and leaving only his mouth. Jisung smiles like a child.
“How are you so good at everything?” Jisung questions upon seeing all of the positive comments rolling in. Seungmin maintains that Jisung could have uploaded a close-up picture of his cheeks and gotten a similar if not infinitely more feral response. Jisung ticks each item off on a finger. “Singing, photography.”
“That’s only two things,” Seungmin points out. “That’s hardly everything.”
“I’m trying to respect your time,” he smoothly returns. “Otherwise, I could go on all day.”
“You’re so full of it.” Seungmin rolls his eyes.
“Full of love for yooooou,” Jisung croons.
“Whatever.” Seungmin sticks out his hand. “Let’s go.”
He thinks the contrast between Jisung’s bold words and the flustered way he looks down at Seungmin’s hand is funny. Jisung flusters easily. Sometimes, all it takes is a smile or Seungmin holding his gaze for too long. More and more, Seungmin enjoys finding ways to fluster Jisung; partially because of the ego boost, but mostly because Seungmin thinks Jisung is cute when he’s flushed pink and tripping over his words.
“Are you ready?” He wiggles his fingers to indicate how unacceptable it is that Jisung hasn’t taken grasp of it by now.
“Y-eah,” Jisung squeaks and finally reaches out. He holds Seungmin loosely. Tentatively.
Another contradiction compared to the way Jisung pursues him relentlessly. He is very serious about wooing Seungmin.
Gradually, the timid “Hey, how are you?” texts transition into full-blown conversations, voice memos lobbying back and forth, and random YouTube links being sent to Seungmin at all hours of the day.
Seungmin’s also grown accustomed to him dropping by during vocal practice seemingly out of the blue; the way Jisung leans against the door frame as if he’s just passing by but is reluctant to go, clinging onto Seungmin’s attention for as long as he’s able before he has to be forcibly dragged away. Jisung comes bearing gifts – usually honey water and snacks, “a smooch on the lips, if you want one” – and cracks a few terrible jokes that makes Seungmin laugh against his will. It’s a nice reprieve from being alone for so long in a room. As a fellow musician and senior, Jisung also gives good advice during the times when he arrives to find Seungmin stuck on a piece or frustrated over how vocal lessons went.
Maybe it’s the singer in him, but Seungmin always finds Jisung the most attractive when he’s talking about music, something he’s actually confident in and not as a consequence of the persona Jisung adopts because he thinks it’s par the course for an idol, smarmy but charming to mask the fact that he’s often deeply insecure. Seungmin thinks Jisung can pull off anything with charisma. Still, he likes the glimpses he gets of the sensitive artist beneath it all.
Truthfully, he’s come to like a lot of things about Jisung.
Their lunch date goes well even though no one’s around to see it, the two of them squirreling away towards a back room reserved for JYP artists. Jisung makes a valiant attempt at eating a second meal but spends more time peppering Seungmin with questions and making conversation in between bites of his salad and swigs of 2% milk. Seungmin is horrified that Jisung drinks 2% milk and not as a bit.
“Not even whole? Or chocolate? How do they even charge you for a glass?”
“You’re showing a little too much interest in me right now, Seungmin-ah. Are you sure you’re not in love?”
Jisung asks him variations of this almost daily.
His answer is the same every time. “Shut up.”
Puckering up and leaning closer from across the table, Jisung responds, “Make me.”
Seungmin hits Jisung’s mouth with the back of his spoon.
Jisung delights rather than recoils. He breaks out into a heart-shaped grin, one finger pointing accusatorily at Seungmin. “You kissed me! That’s an indirect kiss! Take responsibility for this Kim Seungmin!”
Seungmin can’t help but smile into his curry.
One of these days, he’ll make Jisung shut up for real.
♡
Seungmin, normally so careful and deliberate with his words, slips up for the first time during a guest spot on another radio show. He’s filling in a last minute vacancy as a favor to YoungK.
Once again, their close familiarity relaxes Seungmin. It definitely relaxes his tongue.
They’re acting out a skit about a couple who fights over whether or not napping together counts as a date. It feels like deja vu since he and Jisung had this exact debate the other week when Seungmin asked if he wanted to take a day trip to the beach and Jisung said, “Sweet! It’ll be a nice change of pace from our usual dates” which is how Seungmin finds out that Jisung thinks swinging by the practice room twice a week constitutes as dates.
(“Purposefully spending time together is a date!” Jisung protests.
“If that’s the case, I asked Hyunjin to drop by the other day to listen to some of my new stuff. Does that mean I’m dating him, too?”
“Now you’re just saying things to hurt me.”)
It’s like an extension of that conversation when YoungK innocuously asks for his opinion and Seungmin answers, “Of course not. I think dates require some level of planning and forethought but Hannie strongly disagrees. My boyfriend is wrong, as always.” He’s halfway through rolling his eyes when it finally registers the implications of his words. No, not implications – Seungmin was very explicit in his meaning: Jisung is his boyfriend.
Something he’s never admitted to anyone aloud before, even though he frequently refers to Jisung as his boyfriend in his head (and also, admittedly, to his grandmother. Seungmin’s not going to explain the intricacies of a contract relationship to someone who lived through the Korean War.) Unfortunately, this might be a point in Jisung’s favor since all of those “dates'' have clearly endeared him to Seungmin. Brainwashed him in any case and conditioned Seungmin to do weird things like anticipate Jisung’s little visits and get sad when they’re cut short due to scheduling.
The line between real and fake has blurred beyond recognition. Honestly, it was never very clearly defined.
“Is that so?” YoungK prompts.
Seungmin doesn’t respond. He can only awkwardly laugh before the DJ smoothly maneuvers them onto the next topic of conversation.
He feels his phone buzzing up a storm in his pants pocket to the point that Seungmin thinks he might vibrate out of his chair. No doubt some of the notifications are from Jamie and co.
The worst text isn’t even the cryptic “It’s not a big deal, but I definitely didn’t expect this coming from you of all people” from the aforementioned publicity team.
No, it’s the one from Jisung, sent almost immediately after Seungmin’s slip of the tongue. 3RACHA are in the middle of a taping for some variety show so Jisung must be tuning in during his downtime in the waiting room. Seungmin can see Changbin doing hair and makeup in the background of the picture Jisung sends, one where he’s winking and biting down on his lip, a look that activates Seungmin’s fight or flight response without fail. The accompanying text reads: special delivery from YOUR BOYFRIEND. It’s me. I’m your boyfriend. Your boyfriend who is never wrong.
Seungmin’s eye twitches – a recently-formed tick, coincidentally around the time he and Jisung started “dating.” His boyfriend is going to be insufferable when they meet up for dinner later. Seungmin starts forming excuses in his head; he can’t give Jisung the satisfaction or any room to gloat.
He saves the picture to his photo gallery and gets another alert about his available phone storage getting low. He’s down to less than a gig. Seungmin should really clear out the folder of ridiculous selcas that he’s accumulated from Jisung to save space.
He doesn’t.
♡
As a favor to Jisung and after the promise of a free meal (“I’ll even grill the meat myself! Seungminnie, please?”) he agrees to record the vocal guide for Jisung’s first solo endeavor. Seungmin would have done it for free after a little bit of wheedling but the rapper is uncharacteristically serious this time. There’s a sense of nervousness evident in how he doesn’t even offer to pay Seungmin in kisses or try to argue that his love and affection is a greater and more valuable form of currency. He’s never produced for anyone outside of 3RACHA, much less for their long-awaited debut.
“What if they flop because of me?” Jisung confides as they’re going over the song in 3RACHA’s designated work studio. “That’s so many years of training gone to waste because their success hinges on something I created.”
“There are so many other things that affect a person’s success outside of just their music.” Artistry is subjective but fame is not. Making it in the idol industry is a glamorous form of politics. Sometimes, it’s not a matter of making good music but whether or not you know the right people and have a good team backing you up. “Not that it matters since this song is great, just like the rest of stuff.”
“You have to say that,” Jisung dismisses him easily. “You’re literally in love with me.”
Seungmin threatens to flick him on the forehead. Jisung doesn’t even flinch. “I’m serious, Hannie. I like the song.”
“I hope so,” Jising says quietly, twiddling with his thumbs. “I actually wrote it for you.”
“You did?”
He nods, brown hair falling into his eyes. “With your vocals in mind. That’s why I insisted you be the one to sing the guide. You’re already so good at conveying emotions and sincerity in your voice. I think you would really bring this piece alive. Isn’t that such a romantic thing to say?”
“Pointing out the romance cancels out any actual romance,” Seungmin replies. “But yes.” His heart did flutter a tiny bit at the idea of Jisung sitting down, hunched over his desk and scribbling away trying to capture all of the different melodies in his head, notes and treble clefs that remind him of Seungmin. “Does this mean I get a part of the royalties for being your muse?”
“Baby, when we get married, I’ll give you half of everything I’ve got.”
Seungmin thinks it’s a talent how Jisung manages to make the most swoon-worthy lines sound totally cringe-worthy coming from his mouth. It’s also a talent because it works. Seungmin, unfortunately, swoons anyway.
He clears his throat. “Let’s get started. I’m already hungry.”
Jisung obliges but not without asking, “How can you be hungry when you’ve got a stomach full of butterflies?”
“I’ll leave right now.”
“Yikes. Tough crowd.”
Seungmin hates that he’s blushing and he’s only blushing because it’s true.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The recording itself takes less than an hour; Jisung is a good director with a strong vision for how he wants the song to sound and Seungmin takes instruction well. He’s also preening from the praises that Jisung heaps on him along the way but derives the most joy from the satisfaction in Jisung’s face as they listen through the final cut. After the final few beats filter through the speakers, Jisung dazedly claps his hands.
“It’s perfect.”
“I’m glad.” Seungmin smiles.
Jisung looks up from the laptop, seemingly caught by the sight of Seungmin beaming back at him.
There is a pause as Jisung’s lips skew back and forth, like he’s debating on something inside of his head, before the look in his eyes simultaneously softens and steels. “You know, the first time I saw you, I didn’t really see you,” he admits.
“What does that even mean?”
Jisung shrugs. He’s suddenly unable to meet Seungmin’s gaze. “I knew your name because you signed it on the clipboard outside to reserve the room and I heard stories about you down the grapevine from my friends who were still trainees at the time. I was only a year and some change into my own debut. Back then, I knew you, but only as a voice.”
“It used to comfort me,” Jisung continues. “Hearing you sing. You’re such a stickler for routine so I always knew when and where you’d be practicing and for how long it’d be safe for me to sit and listen to you outside in the hallway. I remember so badly wanting to peek through the window to see what you looked like when you were singing – if you looked as sad as you sounded when you were practicing ballads or if you were as beautiful as your voice.”
“I could hear how hard you worked on your singing and it made me want to work harder, too. I used to have a lot of doubts about myself and my talent since 3RACHA didn’t make as big of a splash compared to some of the other groups that debuted around the same time as us. I used to be so sad looking at our album sales and streaming numbers after a comeback. But then I would think of you, so happily singing your heart out to an audience of no one because you didn’t know I was listening in – and it would remind of the Jisung who used to stay up until four in the morning because he couldn’t get these lyrics out of his head, not wanting to wake up his roommates because he was humming toplines under his breath.”
“You’ve been my muse for so long now, in more ways than one. So I guess what I’m trying to say is ‘Thank you’. Thank you for singing, Seungmin-ah. And for existing at the same time as me. For everything.” He takes a breath and confesses again, “I really, really love you.”
To which Seungmin has nothing to say. In actuality, he has a lot of things to say, but none as heartfelt and fall far short of Jisung’s speech. Jisung definitely deserves a speech in return, one that Seungmin is incapable of delivering right now because he’s too stunned and overwhelmed and bursting with an affection he can’t translate into words. Seungmin straight up refuses to be outdone by Han Jisung when it comes to confessing when Jisung’s grasp on the Korean language is tenuous at best. What the fuck.
So instead of confessing, he says, “Let’s write a song together.”
But rather than taking it as a rejection because Jisung knows Seungmin better by now, he asks, “What kind of song?”
Seungmin threads their fingers together and pulls Jisung in for a kiss. Their first kiss (because the spoon one doesn’t count!), but certainly not their last. “A love song,” he says.
♡
The sun is setting when they finally leave to go get food.
It’s not so much that Seungmin can read Jisung's mind than it is the fact that Jisung is a highly predictable person. Seungmin bolts the second he feels Jisung’s fingers curling around his waist, catching only the hem of Seungmin’s sweater instead.
“COME BACK HERE AND LET ME CARRY YOU.”
Still running and nearly half a block ahead, Seungmin tells him to, “GO AWAY.”
A gaggle of fans who are loitering outside take a picture of the scene.
The hashtag #GetYourManHanJisung trends for all of the world to see.