Work Text:
Minho has been living a normal life for the past few years. He has found himself a real and intimate connection with his all-time best friend since the last two years of high school, Changbin. Once in college, he found a group of the dearest people he ever had the pleasure to become friends with. His parents tried to divorce while he was on his first year of college and - maybe as a consequence of the turbulence inside his home - he went through a wild phase of his life, going out every other night to drink, dance and make out with whoever he wanted. He kissed a whole lot of people, dated - although briefly - a few people, had sex, smoke weed... Everything almost every young adult, fresh out of high school and away from home wanted to do. He considered himself lucky to have so many good and exciting memories from his first years of college with the ones he hoped to share the rest of life.
But the thing is: no one lives a normal life. Or, not for a long period of time.
It was a nice day in May when the first signal to the danger that was about to come his way made itself known, but at that time Minho didn’t care enough to be worried.
He had just posted some silly little selfie on Instagram when he received a DM. The ping of his phone didn’t sound accusatory in any way, so he checked it thinking it was Felix and his endearing way of expressing love through multiple reactions to a simple pic of his friends. Damn fuck, it wasn’t Felix.
It was Jisung.
Well, what’s the problem? You might ask yourself. Well, the problem is: Jisung is none other than Minho’s crush in fucking middle school he never got over. They were best friends since kindergarten, they shared the same music, food, movie tastes. They were always together on their breaks, hyping each other up on P.E., sharing food from the cafeteria, holding hands and playing with their fingers when their teachers put on some boring movies class-related. They did everything teenage best friends do. They even went through their indie phases together, listening to Arctic Monkeys and Marina and The Diamonds like they had the most superior taste in music ever seen. Minho loved hearing Jisung singing, by the way, he was nothing short of an angel.
And then, it ended. Years of friendship faded away into the blowing wind of autumn, and they became strangers. Simple as that. If not for the fact it wasn’t simple at all. Their friendship ended because Minho fell in love with him. And Jisung, not months later, started dating a girl from his apartment complex Minho only ever had the chance to see once, on Jisung’s 18 years old birthday - she was blonde, probably smart, honey eyes, smooth skin. Heartbroken Minho didn’t deal well with all of this and they never talked anymore, maybe because, at that time, Jisung knew how Minho felt, but neither had the courage to bring it up. They ruined what they had anyways.
So, why was Jisung DMing him? Here’s the thing: even though they didn’t talk anymore, they not really avoided each other and everything somehow changed when 16 years old Changbin entered their classroom on the first day of high school. Minho’s gonna be petty and say he became friends with Changbin first, but the process was a bit messy. At first, they didn’t get along all too well. Minho was kind of closed off, only talking to his old friends - Changmin and Juyeon - and not reaching out much. Until Changbin befriended them too and Minho had no escape but to fall into the charming trap that was Seo Changbin - they instantly became closer. By the time that happened, Jisung and Changbin were already glued to the hip. So, their friend group grew, they all started hanging out together whenever they could. And it was okay, really, it was fine, Minho didn’t exactly feel anything for Jisung anymore, his crush on him was already buried deep, engraved somewhere in his stomach. Jisung was still dating that girl from before and Minho was quite possibly having a crush on an upperclassman.
That is, until everything crumbled again.
On their last year of high school, Jisung broke up with his girlfriend - or was it the other way around? Minho never got to know much about what really happened, since they weren’t like... real friends -, and started dating not three months later Yeji’s brother. Who’s Yeji? She’s one of Jisung’s closest friend and one of Minho’s favorite people in the world, her brother included - even though they bickered most of the time. It’s probably a lot to take in and might be a little confusing for now, but as the story develops you’ll hopefully understand a little bit better. So, Jisung started dating Hyunjin and for sure it wasn’t a beautiful love story. Everyone in their friend group whispered behind Jisung’s back how he was using the other boy to fill up the void his ex left behind. Jisung is just getting a rebound, they would gossip. Which wasn’t entirely wrong. Minho just stood back and watched the whole drama like it was something out of a angsty teenage movie. (But deep inside his heart he asked himself if Jisung would never choose him).
They broke up in November. Jisung had a fight with Yeji a bit after and they went for like a year without speaking with one another. That happened.
Then, college came and Minho’s friendship with Changbin simply grew more each day, they went to the same university - unlike Jisung, who wasn’t accepted -, they became so close some people thought they were dating but no! They just understood each other really well and talked everyday, from serious topics to the most stupid things. They were - and still are - inseparable. The you buy one and gets another for free kind of deal. Jisung found himself another girlfriend in the meantime and busied himself with her which probably contributed to deepening Minho and Changbin’s friendship.
Until one night, it was probably mid-september of their sophomore year, Minho received a message from Changbin saying he wouldn’t be able to attend their bi-weekly movie marathon because Jisung’s girlfriend broke up with him and the man needed some comfort. Okay.
You see, nothing exactly changed right away. It was pretty subtle. Jisung came back from the dead and hunted their routines - now Changbin had to give some of his time to Jisung too and Minho hated to share -, made his presence well-known, started following Minho on Twitter, kept saying how he hated being single. Jisung went balistic, partying every Friday til the first rays of sunshine of Sunday, appearing at Changbin’s dorm uninvited and while Minho was there, not even caring if he was interrupting a deep, meaningful cnversation, like one day he simply walked in on Minho saying he would kill himself if he didn’t suck Chan’s dick in the next 48 hours and even though Jisung seemed alarmed at those blunt words, he simply changed the subject as if Minho’s problems were nothing and asked what they wanted for delivery (they got into a pretty heated argument because Minho wanted jajjangmyeon and it was like 11PM but Jisung asked, so Minho shouldn’t be criticized for god’s sake!).
But there was a turning point.
Minho was lying down on Changbin’s bed, belly down, messing with his phone, a second away from taking a picture of his butt to send to his best friend - even though said man was currently grabbing himself a cup of water and like, 20 seconds away from returning to his room -, when it happened.
He screamed.
Changbin was there in a second, a big question alarmed mark on his face, “What happened?” He was visibly worried. Minho glared at him like Changbin just murdered his cat, Soonie.
“Why the fuck is Jisung flirting with me?” After all those years!, he wanted to scream. Again.
“Um,” Changbin pursed his lips, gently closing the door behind him and sitting at his desk. “I don’t know?”
Minho blinked but he was still angry, frowning scarily. “Are you sure... This has nothing to do with what we talked about the other day?”
Changbin, the motherfucker, scratched the back of his head, guiltily. Minho should’ve known better. His life was a step away from turning into hell. Jisung was flirting with him on Instagram like they didn’t know each other since they learned how to fucking read.
“Maybe... I asked him if he’d... like, kiss you or hook up with you and he said,” Changbin had the audacity to impersonate Jisung, “I’m not blind, of course I would, but like... I didn’t say anything, we were just gossiping, Minho”
“God, I hate the fact that I could be born a straight man but God decided I should feel a lot of attraction to other men and look where it brings me! My best friend gossiping with my childhood crush, about me!” Minho feels like he should die. Right now. It doesn’t matter he was yet to suck Chan’s dick, maybe that could wait for his next life. There was a more pressing matter. Han Jisung. Flirting with him. “I ain’t gonna answer. How am I supposed to answer? Changbin?”
Changbin eyed him, trying to hide his amusement because Minho was so endearingly cute when flustered but he didn’t want to face death yet, so he replied, helpfully: “I don’t know babe, you should try taking it easy, or just ignore it if you don’t wanna”
But that’s not the point! Minho wanted. He wanted so much. His hands were trembling and sweating a bit and his face was almost breaking into a smiley, dopey expression, his mind was reeling and his heart was beating so fast like never before. He turned off Instagram notifications. A week later, he replied “hahaha sorry I didn’t see your message earlier” to which Jisung replied with a crying face.
Fuck him.
Minho sucked Chan’s dick and made the man fall in love with him. They got closer, went out on a couple of dates, but everytime Chan kissed him goodnight, he would secretly think about what Jisung was thinking when he decided to send him a goddamn horrible pick-up line.
Fuck him.
“MinChan” - as Felix lovingly named them - didn’t last a couple of weeks, much to Felix’s disappointment because he knew Minho’s battle and how much he suffered to get into workaholic-perfect-straight-A’s-student Bang Chan’s pants. But it was meant to end, afterall Minho didn’t feel the same and Chan wasn’t dumb. They decided it was best to keep as friends.
Minho’s life went back to that boring normal. Studying, deciding his future, procrastinating midterm papers, ignoring Jisung’s eyes on him everytime they crossed paths at Changbin’s apartment (Changbin moved out of the dorms, thank fuck), Grindr dates that didn’t take him anywhere, boring, boring, boring. Minho was bored. The only good thing in his life at the moment was Felix’s brownies, the project he had going on with Hyunjin (Yeji’s brother, exactly) after class at the dance studio and Changbin’s birthday coming soon.
“I’m throwing a party next Saturday,” Changbin finally reveals what he has been secretly planning all week. Minho is unimpressed.
A hum. “Are you inviting a lot of people?”
“Nah,” so he is inviting a lot of people, Minho concludes. “You should wear something nice though”
“I always wear nicely, thank you,” Minho stuck out his leg to hit Changbin’s chin with his feet. Changbin whines, loud as ever, but tries to bite him in retaliation. Minho laughs. “Dunno what to buy you this year, I’ve lost all of my creativity”
“Don’t need. Just cook me something nice for lunch,” Changbin grabs Minho’s feet to keep him still and Minho looks away, considering.
“I’m not your housewife,” He grumbles anyway and can almost feel Changbin arching his eyebrows.
“Oh yeah? You seem pretty wifey to me...”
“Shut up!”
When Changbin’s birthday party comes, everything happens at once. Minho sees a bunch of people from their high school he thought he’d never see again in his life and it shouldn’t surprise him that Changbin is still friends with them but it still does. He’s pretty much drunk 4 hours into the party, dancing with Felix and Seungmin - mostly Felix, because Seungmin is still kind of shy and not drunk enough - in the middle of Changbin’s living room, laughing at something Changmin, one of their high school friend, said and throwing himself all over Jeongin and the birthday boy without a single care in the world.
However, Minho’s life has a pattern of sorts when it comes to Jisung. Everything’s fine until it’s suddenly twisted upside down.
Minho thinks it’s a good idea to go to the kitchen by himself. He just wants to drink some water and find a snack. He’s drunk and hungry and he needs water. So, to the kitchen he goes. He’s there all by himself, enjoying a bit too much the fact that he doesn’t have to interact with anyone for the next couple of minutes when his brief moment of peace is disturbed. Someone walks in. He doesn’t turn to look, doesn’t need to because Jisung speaks and he’d recognize his voice anywhere:
“Minho,” and time stops. The air Minho was breathing turns heavy and sits uncomfortably on his lungs. Jisung is taking steps closer, step by step. Something is bound to happen here, right now. Minho is not sure he can handle it. A hand on his wrist,
“Are you gonna kiss me right now?”
Minho wants to scream What the fuck???? but he can’t say a damn word when Jisung is so close to him after years and years of not even talking directly, barely looking at each other in the eyes, and he’s holding his wrist, subtle, trying to turn him, turn him into a mess of unresolved feelings, new feelings. Minho holds his breath and looks up, right into Jisung’s eyes. On his skin, goosebumps. Jisung’s eyes are shining, like when they were kids and Jisung would show him a poem he wrote at 5AM before going to school. Like when Minho held his hand and teached him how to skate on ice. Jisung was looking at him like they never grew apart, ever. Minho’s heart did a summersault, a whole Olympics move inside his ribcage. He was sure his ears were red. So red. Minho’s vision was blurry.
“Everyone’s gonna see,” he replies, of course. Jisung laughs, so lightly, like there isn’t a weight on his chest. His hand moves to Minho’s hair, petting him and placing a strand behind his ear. Minho leans into the touch, putty on Jisung’s hands. Literally.
“Let’s go somewhere then,” Jisung offers easily, not even disturbed by the idea of kissing his childhood best friend, the same he stopped talking to due to unrequited feelings and never tried to befriend again, which he forgot everything they went through together and never looked back once. Like Minho didn’t have feelings for him - or like Minho’s feeling weren’t significant.
Minho nodded and sealed the deal with the devil.
They kiss. A lot.
Minho is against the wall, ragged breath and horny as fuck as Jisung’s hands explores around his body, discovering all his secret special weak places, that make him arch into the touch and bite hard on Jisung’s bottom lip, sucking on his tongue and pleasuring himself in the disgusting taste of vodka he finds there. But it’s Jisung - Minho adores everything about him.
Their kiss is so good. Minho feels like his body was made to Jisung, he never kissed like that before, with so much need and passion and desire...
Of course, Minho should’ve known better. It’s so good and heated and he forgets, it slips his mind really the only true fact here: Jisung is a fuckboy. And so he asks, a breath away from Minho’s spit slick lips:
“Wanna take this somewhere else?”, and because his eyes are still closed, Minho finds it easier to answer, voice faltering and weak at the seams, “I’d rather not”
Jisung nods and Minho feels it more than he sees because the next second they are making out again, Jisung’s hands wrapped snuggly around his waist, pressing a leg between his and driving him absolutely crazy with how much Minho wants him, wants Jisung so much he can’t give himself to him. It would be a sacrifice, a no-return-ticket to the impending doom. His misery, his demise.
Minho stops, backs away and can’t find the courage to look at Jisung’s eyes. “Let’s go back to the party”, he finally says, feeling restless and head-empty of thoughts. He’s not really thinking when he does all this - he just wants to stop for a second before he regrets saying no to hooking up with Jisung.
Surprisingly, Jisung holds his hands, a ghost of a smile on his face as he shrugs, “Okay, let’s go”
After that, they don’t talk much. Life’s pretty normal. Except for the fact Minho can’t seem to stop replaying their kiss inside his head, thinking about it like a creep, like a desperate girl who just got kissed for the very first time, like his brain was feeding on it. Minho couldn’t stop thinking about Jisung’s lips on him, on the light bite he gave him on the neck, how Jisung’s hands ran down his thighs and spread his legs and how he’d fit there, so right. Minho wanted to be dicked down by him so bad. Fuck.
Since the party, Changbin was sometimes eyeing him up curiously, but he probably knew what happend, Jisung must have told him (or maybe the way they walked down the hall to the living room holding hands gave them away), except Minho didn’t say a thing. Not to Changbin. He was talking Felix’s ear off about this though. If Felix wasn’t some sort of angel sent from above, he’d probably have already hit Minho everytime he spaced out in the middle of their conversation.
They would interact through social media. Jisung sometimes reacted to a photo Minho posted just to get his attention and he’d also reply to Minho’s most random tweets and Minho wishes they could talk more and kiss again, but it’s hard. Minho doesn’t really know how to act towards Jisung, like... they are not close, but they are not friends either. He doesn’t know where he stands. Does Jisung wants to kiss him again? Or does he wants to be just friends? What is going on?
A month later, Minho gets the answer.
He accidentally finds out about it through Changbin, who lets it slip easily from his mouth, really, the information just slips.
They’re talking like they usually do, gossiping about the friends they have in common. Minho mentions some incriminating story about Jisung, to which Changbin replies:
“Hopefully this will stop happening now that he has a boyfriend,” Changbin drinks his diet soda.
“A what?” Minho asks even though he is like 100% he didn’t heard it wrong.
“Yeah... He’s been hanging out with this boy for what, 2 weeks? I don’t think they’re really going to date though, Jisung’s kinda weird about it,” Changbin eyes him warily, like Minho wasn’t reacting normally. He was just sitting there, mentally scoffing and feeling like a fool. So, that was where he stood, huh? The second option?
“Cool,” and shrugs, not knowing exactly what to say. There is this weird feeling on his chest he doesn’t know how to exactly name it. It’s not jealousy, you see... It’s something he can’t really describe, but it makes his insides burn hot and white, blinding him.
Minho must have some kind of twisted mind because he can’t get over Jisung’s kiss. He keeps overthinking it, his mind reeling, and he tries going out with other people but they just don’t kiss like Jisung and it makes Minho go crazy. And what is worse? He lets himself be played into Jisung’s wicked games. He knows he’s being played with, and he simply accepts this path.
Like, one day, they are all hanging out at Changbin’s, right? And when there are a lot of people around, it is easier to ignore Jisung’s existence. They are playing board games, laughing and drinking and Minho is having so much fun. But of course, Jisung would ruin it for him.
Jisung got up and he could’ve walked straight to the kitchen, simple as that. Except, no. He touches Minho’s hair, lightly, playing with him. Their friends don’t even notice, but Minho blushes like a school girl. His body is a fucking traitor - the way his heart speeds up at a simple, innocent touch is just ridiculous. He hates, absolutely despises the fact that Jisung is the only one who ever made him feel like this, who makes him feel so much and yet...
He is terribly aware Jisung is by himself in the kitchen. In fact, he is so aware of it, he gets up and makes a beeline to Jisung’s awaiting smirk. He knows he has Minho by the throat, and because Minho has a twisted, masochist mind, he likes it. And it’s their second kiss.
It doesn’t last as long as the first one, but it’s enough to leave Minho on edge, crumbling down, dying inside for the next week. It’s like his mind can’t function properly and Minho spends most of the time listening to a 30 minute playlist named “how can i get your attention?”. He wants Jisung’s kiss all the time, he wants to grab him by the hair and claim his mouth and taste hot and heavy inside his mouth. He wants it all with him. Still, he doesn’t make a move. Minho is just afraid to seem desperate, like he is trying too hard, and Jisung is still probably going out with that other boy and honestly Minho doesn’t know why Jisung still acts like he wants to kiss him again. They keep talking, short conversations through Insta, and Minho still goes out on a few dates, trying to forget Jisung’s kiss or find someone who can kiss him better - he can’t find what he’s looking for.
Minho is desperate. He goes on a Grindr hiatus, he shuts himself from the outside world, and he’s horny as fuck. One night, Jisung is drunk texting him, saying it’s been two months already since they kissed and Minho is really trying his best to stay locked in his room and not run in the middle of the night to Jisung’s dorm.
Han Jisung: when are you gonna kiss me again
Han Jisung: I’ve been waiting all this time
Lee Minho: stop beating around the bush and go out with me then
[Read at 00:10 AM]
A day passes since their last talk and Minho tries not to think too much. He busies himself with school work, dances for half of a day with Hyunjin and Felix, annoys the hell out of Changbin and just lives his life. It’s not that hard.
Until he meets Changbin in the hallway of their dorms and he can’t help but ask what is he doing there and Changbin says, “we’re thinking of throwing a small get together at Jisung’s tonight, do you wanna come? Jisung said you’re all invited”
Nice. Not even a direct invitation from the party host. Cool. Minho shakes his head. “I’m tired”
“Are you really? It’s gonna be fun, all the boys are going, even Hyunjin” Changbin smiled a bit, catching Minho’s gaze, eyes pleading. “I won’t leave your side”
“You better not, or you’re dead”
“So, you going then?”
Minho regrets coming here. Jisung’s dorm is the same size as his and it was not made to fit more than fifteen people inside, so it’s kind of crowded and the only chair left on the circle in the middle of the living room is next to Jisung. And Changbin is calling him, whining about Minho sitting there because it’s next to him too, so Minho complies. His knees touch Jisung’s and it shouldn’t bother him but it does. He’s feeling tired already, like he doesn’t have any energy left, and he barely speaks all night, just laughs at his friends antics and drinks a bit just to seem outgoing. Jisung sometimes gets too close to him when he’s messing with Changbin and Minho can’t stop looking at him when it happens, staring at his side profile, hot and heavy, wanting him closer but he can’t have it.
It’s getting late, almost midnight, when Jisung gets up for the nth time and grabs Minho’s wallet, playing with it, looking into it and pulling out his ID.
“What do you want?” Minho asks, trying not to seem interested in Jisung’s every little move.
“Just looking around”, and walks to the kitchen.
Minho has two options here, but he acts as there’s only one answer when he too stands and goes after him.
Jisung is turning around from the fridge, holding a bottle of Monster when Minho walks in. Minho is unsure of why he is here and what is he doing right now, maybe he’s being impulsive, maybe he’s being selfish when he just stays there, blocking Jisung’s way back to the shared space... Then, Jisung smirks.
“Did you come here just to kiss me?”
Minho’s face turns red instantly.
“Maybe...?” Because Minho doesn’t have any dignity whatsoever, it’s easy to say it like that.
Jisung nods, still smirking, tauntingly. Minho waits as he sets the bottle down on the table and gets closer. “Yeah, we can do that”
And they’re kissing, again. And it’s so easy for Minho to get lost on Jisung’s lips and the way his hands travel down his body, grabbing him by the ass and making Minho gasp, moans silenced by Jisung’s mouth on him, devoring, scratching his sanity, leaving a mess behind the trail of kisses down his throat. Minho tastes salty skin and a bit of the smoke from Jisung’s earlier cigarettes. It stays with him, like glue.
Jisung stops briefly, “do you wanna stay?”
Minho never wanted something as much as this, right now. Feeling Jisung against him is... otherworldly. He never felt this attracted to someone in his life. It’s concerning, but Minho doesn’t have any reservations about throwing himself and keep himself at Jisung’s mercy. He’d very much give him everything, even if what he takes from him is less than half. Their thing is incomplete, and it is lacking a lot of things, and honestly Minho doesn’t even take this seriously - it’s probably something they will get over in a few months and just act like it never happened. And yet he can’t keep his hands to himself, he can’t give up on Jisung either. He can’t move on from this. It’s weird and it doesn’t make sense, but Minho wants it. He wants Jisung to break him apart and leave him, no turning back. He wants to be teared apart by this unknown feeling - it is not love, it is just lust and something else Minho has yet to find out -, and let it break him in ways he’d never be the same again. His heart aches because he wishes he could give Jisung anything, everything he wanted - but he can’t. So he lets Jisung use him, whichever way he wants.
Minho stays the night.
When he woke up, Jisung was already gone.
They don’t talk after that.