Chapter Text
Stretched out and languid on his bed, Tommy watched Ranboo’s stream play in front of him with the volume on mute. Since he was on call with said friend he could already hear everything (er, well, he could hear Ranboo's voice, and the rest he could fill in using the in-game subtitles and the donation texts on the screen). There was no need to have the overlapping noise and delay from the stream add to the volume in his rather quiet room. It was a late-night mining stream–a Ranboo specialty–while Tommy was just up because he couldn’t sleep. To be honest, he had drunk five cans of cola that day and quite possibly had enough caffeine in his system to kill god. Despite this, it wasn't enough to have a filter for his jokes, though, if what happened next was any indication.
During the stream, donos tended to pop up every now and then. Many were related to the tweet Ranboo had posted earlier in the day, which was in celebration of the last week of pride month. It was a short tweet with a picture of him holding a bisexual pride flag with the caption "bi guys." He confirmed in responses that yes, that was his coming out tweet. Tommy may be straight as a doorknob, but that didn't mean he wasn't proud of his friend for his identity.
Regardless of all that, what was evident was that Tommy was quite exhausted. He did, however, want company and Ranboo was the only one of his friends still awake. It was only, like, 11 PM for Ranboo after all (7 AM for him, but that was irrelevant. He was a teenager, he could pull an all-nighter if he so wished), so Tommy had taken it upon himself to join a discord call with the older boy and cause some minor chaos in his stream. Though Tommy was thankful that Ranboo was even entertaining his tired ramblings to begin with, he didn’t have to say that part out loud.
Most of the donation messages were tame and sweet, but one was very much none of those things. “Actually kind of liked your streams until you came out as gay. That’s creepy as fuck you lot are sick in the head,” one had read in monotonous text-to-speech.
Before Ranboo, or even chat could respond by spamming “WEIRD DONO,” Tommy ended up saying (in a stroke of absolute genius) “Man, Ranboo and I are literally dating. Gay. Dating. Fuck off, dono. You’re weirdchamp.” Now, that was something that Tommy’s sleep-deprived mind had cooked up half-assedly, and was mainly powered by spite and twitchspeak, but it rendered Ranboo silent for a solid 5 seconds before chat blew up and Tommy realized what he’d said. “Oh, fuck–sorry, Boo.” Curse my stupid sleep depravity and devilishly handsome good looks (the devilishly handsome good lucks weren’t to blame, but Tommy tacked them on just in case).
The blond just rested his forehead in his palms tiredly as chat just blew up even more as he unintentionally fanned the flames. When Tommy looked back at his laptop screen Ranboo had already brought up the “End Stream” overlay and was wishing chat a good night. Once the stream had ended, Tommy immediately started apologizing. “Holy shit, Ranboo, I am so sorry I am absolutely fucking exhausted and I know that’s no excuse and I am so sorry–let me pull up Twitter and we can put this down before it starts to circulate. Some people will be weird but I’m pretty sure they’ll understand that it was a joke–”
“Tommy,” Ranboo cut him off before he could even open up the app on his phone, voice sharp with nerves, “it’s fine. We can deal with this in the morning. For now, I think we should both head to bed, alright? It’s late and, well, you obviously are a bit out of it.”
Well, Tommy couldn’t really argue with that statement, given that he had just accidentally falsely confessed to dating his friend. He sighed, giving in. “Okay, I’ll message you tomorrow and we can call. Does uh…” he did the maths in his head, “10 AM your time sound good, or is that too early?”
Ranboo hummed into his mic shortly in what Tommy believed was contemplation before agreeing. “Yeah, that sounds good. Can I add Tubbo to the call? It might be helpful to get a third opinion.”
Tommy’s face scrunched up, “why do you want to add Toby? I love the guy but, uh, wouldn’t Wil or Phil–or really anyone more mature than him–be a better fit?”
There was a pause on the other end and then a relatively well-thought-out response, “I think that if either of them were on call with us they’d just tease us until we collapsed in embarrassment and shame.”
“Fair,” Tommy countered, “but wouldn’t Tubs do the same? I mean, he would be over the moon to lord this above my head for the years to come.” He yawned.
“Yeah, but we have equal blackmail against Tubbo. You’ve been friends for years and have just as many, if not more, embarrassing stories. It’s a safer bet for us both.” Ranboo finished.
Tommy shrugged, even though his friend couldn’t see him. “Okay, that’s true,” he laughed a little. “Why the hell were we debating that?” He asked lightly, jokingly.
“Uh…” Ranboo trailed off into the mic, and Tommy’s lips perked up into a smile, “no clue. Would you believe me if I told you I was president of the debate team at my high school?”
Tommy laughed softly into his mic, wary of his volume. “No,” he grinned, “is that even a real position?”
“It is!” He got an enthusiastic reply, “though, you’re right that I didn’t fill such a role. I could never do live debates against schoolmates, too nerve-wracking. Or presentations, to be honest.”
Furrowing his brow, Tommy asked, “but you literally stream in front of tens of thousands of people all the time? How does that make sense?”
“I don’t know, it’s different. I don’t see all the viewers in chat staring at me and waiting for me to tell them about stuff, it’s just a camera and a computer screen.”
Tommy understood how Ranboo felt. “That makes sense. I guess I’m kind of the same.”
“Really?” Ranboo snarked with a friendly tone, “I would’ve thought you were the one to call any of your group members your boyfriend during a presentation.”
“Ha ha,” the younger teen said, playful sarcasm leaking through his words and saturating the false laughter, “very funny. I don’t normally do school presentations without any sleep the night before.”
“Oh, right.” Had Ranboo really forgotten that quickly? Tommy found it a bit amusing how quickly the other streamer would forget things so quickly–only the small details, though. The big stuff was scary to forget, Tommy understood. “You should definitely get to sleep, Tommy. I’ll talk to you in the morning–er, evening for you, I suppose.”
Tommy shut his laptop and set it on his bed stand before grabbing his phone off his pillow where it was laying, “night, Boo.”
He heard a sharp intake of breath before hanging up on the call, promptly leaning over to shut off his lights and then passing the hell out back onto his bed.
***
Tommy woke up at 4 PM his time, well-rested and ready to address a possible joke turned controversy. Both his parents were working from home, but they knew his sleep schedule was, well, to put it in short, fucked and hadn't woken him up. He appreciated their understanding. He spent the next couple of hours editing some videos while brainstorming how to properly address his joke–which had, according to a brief look on Twitter, been blown completely out of proportion (seriously, why’d he have to be trending because of this?).
At 6 o'clock on the dot, Tommy hopped onto Discord to see Ranboo and Tubbo already active and in a call. He joined, announcing his presence with a chipper, “‘ello, boys!”
Tubbo and Ranboo halted whatever they were talking about–probably something dumb, Tommy figured–to greet him back. “Tommy!” Tubbo’s cheeky grin was audible, “congrats on coming out, king!”
Tommy replied with a groan, “shut up, Tubbo. You know I’m straight. Loving women is literally my brand.”
Ranboo hummed his agreement, “yeah. We should probably get to the subject of actually addressing this before shippers start going even more crazy. I straight up cannot go on Twitter right now without getting the hashtag ‘tomboo’ shoved down my throat.”
Tubbo laughed at that, and Tommy rolled his eyes at his friend’s nonchalance. “Are you sure you guys want to address it right away? I mean, you could ride this wave and then just say you guys broke up or something in a month. You are getting a pretty nice spotlight right now, after all.” It was a joke, Tommy was certain, but Ranboo didn’t really take it that way–not that Tommy blamed him, the guy was stressed.
“Are you saying we queerbait, Tubbo?” Ranboo hissed. Tommy didn’t entirely know what that term meant, but it was said in a rather negative connotation so he decided to side with Ranboo. “Because there’s no way I’m doing that.”
“Yeah, what–what he said,” Tommy agreed with confidence. Privately, he searched up queerbaiting on his PC while his friends bickered with one another.
Tubbo sounded affronted when he replied, “no, no! Not at all, it’s just that everything might be a bit overwhelming right now and I think you guys should let it die down before actually addressing it. Besides, maybe it’ll help you guys bond. We are all meeting up soon, anyway.”
He was right in that sense–Ranboo was flying out to the UK in less than a week. The imminent travel had just stressed everyone out more. Tommy wasn’t nervous, though, because Ranboo’s chill and they’re already good friends. “I don’t know…” the blond trailed off. “Ranboo?” he asked upon the radio silence on the other’s end.
“Oh, uh…” a pause, and some clacking of keys, “I guess that’s not the worst idea ever. Though, I’m still on the fence about the fake dating thing.” Tommy was surprised by his friend’s newfound hesitance but didn’t say anything about it. This wasn’t a topic he was very well versed in, to be honest.
“Think about it!” Tubbo exclaimed, and Tommy snapped back to attention, “Twitter has fun, you guys become better friends, and you can break it off in a month and just say you’re staying friends! Once the firestorm of media calms down you’re in the clear to actually address things. If you do something now you’ll just fan the flames.”
Tommy had to give it to his friend, he had a pretty damn convincing argument. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt… what do you think, Mr. Boob?”
“Don’t call me that,” Ranboo chided, but was obviously unbothered by his teasing. “It’s not like we’re actually dating or anything, and we’ll end it in like a month so… sure, I suppose.”
Tubbo cheered over the call, and Tommy winced at the sudden increase in volume. “Why the hell are you so happy, man?!” he asked.
“Oh,” the younger brunet replied, “I’m just excited to see how this plays out. I have so many plans for when we all hang out. Just you wait!” He said ominously. Before Tommy or Ranboo could ask what he meant by that, he had already left the call.
There was a brief moment of awkward silence before Tommy broke it by muttering to himself, “why do I feel like I just triggered a series of awful events?”
“Hey,” Ranboo reminded helpfully, “we can still back out.”
Tommy shook his head, “no, I’m curious as to how this will play out as well, now. We're together from here on out, Ranboo.” And there wasn’t a lie there; Tommy was now genuinely interested in what would happen next. He didn’t know Ranboo all that well, anyways, and was eager to understand his friend some more when he visited. “Uh… who should know about this? I think if I tell Wil I’ll just get teased for the remainder of my lifetime,” he recalled the conversation he had with Ranboo the night before in passing.
“True,” the other agreed, “I think we should keep this between you, me, Tubbo, and our families. Does–does that sound good to you?”
Tapping his fingers against his thighs anxiously, Tommy replied, “sounds great.” Notifications began to pop up on his Discord–Wilbur’s username popping up with spammed messages. “Shit–Wil is messaging me. I should probably go. I won’t tell him,” he promised.
They said quick goodbyes and soon enough, he was once again alone. With a shaky exhale, Tommy clicked on Wilbur’s name on-screen and entered their DMs. He read through his unchecked messages with a furrowed brow.
10:38 AM
the biggest forehead in all of england: tommy can you tell me why i just woke up to twitter going absolutely batshit insane
why is everyone saying you and ranboo are datign
11:12 AM
the biggest forehead in all of england: i just saw the clip is this rela
real
tommy is this real srsly
is this a new development
i am a little hurt that you didn’t come out to me first
though i kind of always knew l
yuo better be asleep and not just ignorign me
Tommy frowned at that message. What the hell did Wilbur mean by “he always knew?” Tommy was straight. A swing and a miss on that one, Wil, he thought to himself before the realization dawned on him; he was literally about to act… not straight in front of the world. Fuck, that’s… really weird. He shook his head to get rid of his worries and doubts before continuing to scroll down the (unreasonable amount) of messages his brother-figure had sent.
2:53 PM
the biggest forehead in all of england: tommy if you dont want to talk about it just let me know
but i am so, so proud of you
even if it was just a stream slip up i am so happy for you and ranboo
lmk if u need anything, i’ll be on standby until you text me back
With a sigh, Tommy brought his hands up to rub at his temples. On one hand, it was always nice to hear that Wil was proud of him, but on the other hand all that pride was founded on a lie. “This sucks balls,” he murmured to his empty office before finally typing out a reply, four hours later.
6:45 PM
the biggest man in all of england: hi wilbur sorry about that i was up late and slept in
then i was on call with ranboo dealing with the uh
situation
Wil’s response popped up almost immediately, and Tommy wondered if the man had just been waiting for a response that whole day. He probably was. What a loser.
6:45 PM:
the biggest forehead in all of england: thank FUCK you’re alive
are you okay? i know twitter is a shitshow right now
the biggest man in all of england: yes i am fine wilbur i am just a bit tired
didn’t mean to accidentally out myself at 7 AM in the morning on my boyfriend’s stream
It felt weird to call Ranboo his boyfriend. It was easier to do it over text since no one could see his twisted expression, but Tommy worried if he would be able to keep up the facade in person.
Well, he had a few days to practice his role in front of Tubbo and his family, so he’d hopefully have mastered the whole… gay thing. Is it bad for me to call it that? I mean, people now think I’m gay–or at least not straight–so I think that it’s alright. A knock on his door brought him out of his thoughts–his mom was there, hand on her hip. “We’re having dinner in five minutes, alright? Love you,” she informed him with a smile.
“Thanks, mum, I’ll be down in a few,” Tommy looked back at her, “love you too.” Turning back to his laptop, he typed out another message to Wil.
6:47 PM:
the biggest man in all of england: i will tell you all the details next time we hang out irl
it’s like a week from now so just be patient ig
i desperately need dinner wilbur g
the biggest forehead in all of england: go eat you dirty little crime boy
and i cannot wait i will need to know everything
oh my god i can tell ranboo so many embarrassing stories about you
the biggest man in all of england: do NOT
the biggest forehead in all of england: you signed up for this the moment you first called me your brother
the biggest man in all of england: but wil
you /are/ like a brother to me
the biggest forehead in all of england: stop that i will cry
now go eat dinner
bye kissy face emoji heart heart orangutan
the biggest man in all of england: if you’re going to use emojis at least use the actual emoji instead of just typing the names of
thme
them
bye
Shutting off his computer, Tommy stood up from his desk and walked over to the kitchen where his parents were sitting. “Tom!” His mom greeted, “sit, dad made shepherd's pie.”
He obliged, sitting in his designated chair at the dinner table. Betty and Walt were already begging for scraps. Tommy’s parents always told him not to feed them at the table, but he tended to slip them some bites of his dinner whenever no one was looking. Tommy picked up a fork and began to shovel food into his mouth while his parents just… stared at him. “What?” He asked, mouth full of potatoes, “oh,” he put his napkin on his lap, “there.”
“No, Tom, that’s not it–but thank you for correcting your manners–it’s just that I checked Twitter this morning…” Tommy groaned. Of course, he had to have parents that frequently checked social media. Hell, his mom even had a Youtube channel!
Steeling himself, Tommy set down his fork and fiddled with a loose thread on his napkin. “Right,” he started. “I may have had a slip-up.”
“You know we accept you no matter what, Tom,” his dad started, “but I have two questions. One, why did you decide to do that without ever telling us–”
“And why were you up that late? Or, early I suppose.” His mom cut off his dad, “now, I know we’ve been lax with you because of your streaming, but if I need to set a bedtime for you I will do it.”
Tommy smiled at the threat–it was typical behavior from his parents. He was glad, at least, that they hadn’t changed. “Sorry,” he granted, “I was hyped up on soda and was kind of stressed. It won’t happen again.” Biting the inside of his lip, he began again, “and about Ranboo–”
Now it was his turn to get cut off (he had to have gotten his loud personality from somewhere, and he just so happened to have inherited it from his mother. It was incredibly obvious in times like these). “Right, that boyfriend of yours! Is that why you’re always talking to him late at night?” She asked with a playful wiggle of her brow. Tommy’s dad rolled his eyes at her antics.
“That’s the thing, you see–” he slipped a piece of chicken to the dogs under the table, “we aren’t actually dating. I said that we were boyfriends to spite an asshole on stream and didn’t really think about the consequences.”
His parents shared a look and his dad just smiled, “yeah, okay. We had kind of figured. Sorry, Tom, but we’re your family. You can’t keep a secret from us. Has Wilbur already found out?”
Tommy shook his head, “no. Lucky for me, he’s denser than a brick when it comes to stuff like this. Everyone but Toby, Ranboo, Ranboo’s family, and you guys think that Ranboo and I are in a relationship.” He, briefly, bemoaned his circumstances. “I don’t know why I let Tubbo talk me into continuing this thing.”
His parents shared a look. “You’re going to continue acting like you’re dating your friend? Why?”
Shrugging, Tommy replied “damage control or something. Plus, it’d give us a chance to get to know one another better. That was Toby’s reasoning, at least.” Then again, he once again questioned why he had let Tubbo be the voice of reason at all.
“As long as you aren’t too upset about it, we’re fine with you doing this little ‘fake relationship’ bit.” His dad offered, “but don’t be embarrassed to call it quits if you get overwhelmed, okay?”
Tommy really loved his parents. They were good people, through and through. Even when they didn’t fully understand what the hell he was doing, they still supported him. “Thanks, guys. I’m glad it’s not just me, Tubbo, and Ranboo that know.”
“Speaking of which,” his mom inquired, “are you sure you still want to do that two-week sleepover at Toby’s? If you think it would be awkward you can always stay here or at Wil’s.” See, Tommy’s parents’ 25th anniversary was coming up within the week, and they were going on holiday. Since their vacation lined up with Ranboo’s visit to the UK, Tommy and his parents had decided upon him staying over at Tubbo’s with everyone for a couple weeks while his parents were away on a beach vacation in the Bahamas.
He waved off their concerns. “Nah, you guys don’t need to worry–I’ll be fine! It’s just a buddy buddy sleepover with three best friends.”
“One of which you’re pretending to date,” his father aptly pointed out.
“Which is no concern whatsoever!” He affirmed, “Ranboo and I are pals, we won’t let anything like this change our friendship.”
His mom smiled, “okay, Toms. We trust you.” Pause. “And stop feeding the dogs under the table, you goof!” She threw her napkin at his face, hitting him right on the forehead with the soft cloth.
***
TRENDING ON TWITTER
TOMMY AND RANBOO
ALLIUMDUO
TOMBOO
PRIDE MONTH 2021
GAY PEOPLE?!?!
@user1 (alliumtwt)
i cannot believe tommy and ranboo are dating this is a new national holiday im going to write an anthem happy pride month mcyt community this is a new age
@user2 | pride art pinned!
source ? clip ? i have been pranked so many times this
@user1 (alliumtwt)
[file attached]
@user2 | pride art pinned!
im going to go insane /pos
@user3
hit with a triple whammy in one day oh my god ranboo is bi tommy is not straight and they are dating??? am i in heaven or hell /lh /pos