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Sirius stared at the door. Glanced at the clock. Then at the door again. 10:12, that were twelve minutes later than usual. He knew he shouldn’t get obsessed over this, but it was hard to forget it when he was condemned to see him every bloody morning.
James passed by him, he, unlike Sirius, was actually working instead of worrying over some childish crush.
“Move, Black” he tutted, “What are you-” James noticed the hour, “Oh, no. Him, again?”
“Oi! Leave me alone”
James sighed, “You don’t even know him”
“That’s exactly what I’m trying to mend,” Sirius replied, not getting his eyes off the door.
James waved a dismissive hand and came back at doing coffee. He was a good friend, but he couldn’t get what Sirius was going through. James had been with his fiancée since high school, so he didn’t know much about having a crush on somebody. Or at least, having it outside the school walls, as an adult.
Remus, the guy Sirius had a crush on, came to the coffee shop every day at 10 o’clock. He ordered coffee and a chocolate pastry. Then, he would open a book, grab his notebook, and take notes as he read. He never missed a day, from Monday to Friday. It’d been a year now. A painful year of unrequired love.
They had never talked, Sirius and Remus. Well, not properly. Maybe if ordering and saying “please” and “thank you” counted… But no, not much talking. Not enough at least that it wouldn’t be creepy for Sirius to ask him out on a date. Sirius knew his name because he had it written on a label in his notebook: “if lost, return to Remus J. Lupin”. It was a nice name, it fitted him. It sounded like the name of an important scholar, or a professor. Indeed, Remus looked like a professor, with his blazers with elbow patchers, and his cozy wool sweaters… Sirius wondered what the “J” stood for, Joseph? Jeffrey? Jordan?
The door opened and Sirius’s eyes darted to it, but it was an old lady with a kid, his grandson likely. Sirius sighed.
“Stop moaning. Go to the kitchen, we’re running out of sandwiches,” James said, nudging him.
“Yes, my captain” Sirius mocked.
James wasn’t his boss, not really. He was just more hardworking and more willing to take the lead. It was easier not to argue with him. Besides, since they began working together, they had become very close friends. They had many things in common: they both liked footie (James was better at it, though), they disliked the manager, Severus, and enjoyed playing pranks on him. Also, they both liked to show off, even if they wouldn’t admit it.
Sirius began to make the sandwiches. Mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, and ham. That wasn’t the job of his life, but it wasn’t like he knew what he wanted to do with his life. The salary wasn’t bad, and he liked working with James. Also, there was Remus… But he couldn’t build his life around some guy he had a crush on, couldn’t he? Anyways, he settled for now, and in the future…who knew? Maybe he’ll be assisting to James and Lily’s wedding with Remus as his plus one.
He put the sandwiches on a tray and went back to the front. “Here,” he called James, “your bloody sandwiches”
James smiled widely, “Thank you, and as a reward for being such a hardworking employee…” he pointed at a table.
Sitting there was Remus, with his book and his blazer. The man was absorbed by his reading, so Sirius took a long moment to stare at him. James noticed that and laughed, patting him on the shoulder.
“Get over him, mate”
“Not a chance,” Sirius replied shaking his head. “I’m asking him out. Today”
James blinked at him with surprise, and then barked out a laugh. Some of the costumers looked at them, clearly annoyed by the noise. Sirius punched him in the arm to make him shut up.
“Oi! Don’t be like that. To be fair, it’s not the first time you decided to try, isn’t it? And remind me how it ended?”
Badly. Sirius wanted to try once, but he chickened out at the last minute. He was just too scared of making a fool of himself in front of Remus. He looked so mature and down to earth… and Sirius was nothing like that.
“This time I’ll do it, and it’ll work out perfectly” Sirius said, trying to sound confident.
“I don’t want to discourage you, but do you think is a good idea?”
“The world must be ending if James Potter is the voice of reason” Sirius joked.
James chuckled softly. “Fine, you’re right. I’ll support you. Tell me your plan”
Sirius grinned and took a small piece of paper out of his apron pocket. It was sage green and had something written on it with black ink. Sirius gave him the paper and James read it.
Do you want to go out sometime? (P.D.: I’m the handsome barista, not the one with glasses)
“A funny one, aren’t you?” James said and he handed the paper back.
Sirius blinked an eye at him and put the piece of paper back to his pocket. He’d been carrying it for a week now. And writing it had taken him hours because he couldn’t find the right words. He wanted to look smart and funny, and state his obvious beauty… it had to be perfect.
“Are you gonna give it to him today?” James asked.
Sirius nodded as he looked at Remus, still focused on his book. The first thing that he was going to ask him on their date was what the hell he was reading so attentively.
“I’m going to slide it into his briefcase.”
James gave him a wary look. “I don’t think that’ll work”
“Shut up, Potter. It’s bloody genius”
But it wasn’t. Sirius did as he intended, but after a week the results weren’t the expected. Remus kept going to the coffee shop, his usual routine, but he didn’t acknowledge Sirius’s note. At first Sirius though it was because he was shy, and didn’t know how to approach him, but that theory quickly fell apart. And maybe, Remus wasn’t interested, but he wasn’t willing to admit that. Not yet at least.
The most logical explanation was that Remus hadn’t read the note, and Sirius sticked to it even if James had expressed his reservations on the matter. The next step was to come up with a new plan. Sirius wasn’t going to give up.
Next time he was going to do it the old way. A straightforward declaration, face to face. Sirius played that scene in his mind again and again. Going over Remus’s possible responses. What if he rejected Sirius? Was he going to be polite? Or maybe he’ll get angry and make a scene at the coffee shop and get Sirius fired… And what if he said yes? Where would they go? Dinner and dinks or that was too boring?
“Stop overthinking it” James tutted.
“I can’t help it. Not like you would understand since you already have your precious Lily”
“It took me a while to convince her to go out with me on a date. She kept rejecting me, she said I was too much of an asshole”
“Bloody right she was”
“Anyways,” James ignored Sirius last words, “if it’s meant to happen, it will. Don’t obsess over it”
But Sirius was nothing if not obsessive. He counted down the seconds till 10, and when he saw Remus walking through the door, he freaked out. How could it be that him, Sirius Orion Black, had so many problems with asking someone out. He never had such problems before. Usually, he would see someone he fancied, get closer and just enlighten them with a smirk. Why it was different with Remus?
Sirius tried to surreptitiously stare at Remus from behind the counter. Not like it matter because Remus wouldn’t get his eyes off his damn book. If he was going to ask him, he should do it while Remus was having his coffee before he left. Sirius took a deep breath and walked towards Remus. He glanced quickly at James, who gave him a thumbs up.
That’s it, I’m here, he thought as he stood besides the man’s table.
“Hi,” Sirius said and felt stupid immediately afterwards.
Remus looked up. Not annoyed for being interrupted, but curious. That was a good sing, wasn’t it?
“I was thinking, you know, because I’ve been seeing you for-”
a crash interrupted him. A tray falling, cups smashing on the floor, tea spilled everywhere... A woman was staring at the mess. Her eyes met Sirius’s.
“I’m so sorry,” she babbled. “I really am”
Sirius swallowed his anger and put on his kindest face. “It’s alright. I’ll take care of it, don’t worry”
He looked back at Remus, but he was focused on his book again. Sirius sighed and started cleaning up the mess.
Sirius wouldn’t give up. He decided to try at least one more time. He had this big plan where he wrote a note on Remus receipt. Remus always checked his receipt, so there was no way that he would miss it. Sirius told the plan to James, and he admitted it was a better idea than his first one (still more complicated than the second one).
But Remus didn’t come the next day, nor the other. A week passed and Sirius lost his faith in seeing Remus ever again. It was tragic, he would never recover from such an emotional shock. Remus had left a mark on him, a wound that could never heal, a…
“Stop being such dramatic” James tutted.
“Why? My life is over”
“It’s not”
They were smoking outside, as they always did during their breaks. James was trying to quit it because Lily didn’t like the smell of it, but he couldn’t say no to a cigarette with Sirius after a long shift. Sirius was telling him that he’d given up. He wouldn’t try to ask that guy out on a date. Clearly the universe didn’t want them to be together so… although he wasn’t happy about it. Actually, he was really pissed off with the universe.
“I really liked him, Potter” Sirius sighed.
He meant it and James saw it in his eyes. James patted him in the back. “Sorry, mate”
James came back inside, leaving Sirius alone. Maybe it was a stupid thing to be sad over. Sirius had never talked to Remus before. A crush on a guy he only saw from apart, serving him coffee and chocolate pastries? That wasn’t a solid beginning for any relationship.
“I need a drink,” he sighed, talking to himself.
“Fine, let’s do it”
What? Who was that? It couldn’t be James. James was inside and his voice didn’t sound like that. Sirius’s eyes darted to the figure besides him.
Remus was as handsome as ever. He was holding his blazer in one hand and a coffee to go in the other. Light brown hair, hazel eyes, and those mysterious scars that Sirius always caught himself thinking about.
“You?!” Sirius exclaimed and it sounded accusatory. He realized too late but tried to mend it. Sirius leaned against the wall, striking his coolest flirting pose. “You,” he said again, with a much more flattering voice.
Remus chuckled softly and Sirius lost his train of thought. “What do you say?” Remus asked.
“What? About what?” Sirius panicked.
“Maybe it’s too early for drinks, though I won’t judge you”
“Dinner!” Sirius was quick to say, “Let’s go grab dinner”
Remus smiled again, “Dinner is then”