Chapter Text
Cole could feel himself tensing up, his nails digging into his calloused hands. Something about the hot air in the room made him so nauseous. That probably was because he caused the situation. He went to wipe sweat from his forehead, only to notice tears dripping down his face as well. He was only halfway paying attention to the conversation, but that didn't stop him from feeling awful.
Cole bit his cheek, snapping back to reality. And maybe he'd bitten too hard since he tasted warm blood on his teeth. Either way, it couldn't matter less.
The Black Ninja had screwed up big time. He'd acted childish like Kai, insisting on leading their mission that day. But still, Cole was worse than Kai. Not only did he let his enemy escape by backing down, but he also let his team members get thrown around as he stood back. And even worse, he let Nya get stolen again.
It was impossible to tell whether it was Kai or Jay who was angrier, but the fact that even Zane showed upset meant that this was serious.
"Cole, what the hell were you thinking!" Kai yelled, drawing Cole back into the conversation. He had no answer for this. What was he thinking?
''My sister is gone," the red ninja continued, "For real, actually, totally gone!" A lump grew in Cole's throat; Nya could be anywhere in the world! Really, they had no leads.
"Oh, come on, aren't you going to say something!" Jay snapped, stepping forwards towards Cole. "You've ignored us for the past five minutes, and it's taking everything for me to stop myself from hitting you!"
"Jay, please, infighting is unwise right now." Zane chimed in with his familiar mechanical voice. Jay's only response was an unamused glare.
"Didn't you hear Bluebell? Speak up, idiot!" Kai snapped.
Cole took a deep breath and struggled to push the overwhelm out of his mind. He didn't want to escalate everything, so he had to speak up. But, as soon as he opened his mouth, wham!
Jay's fist smacked right into his face. There was a cracking sound! Probably his nose. Cole wasn't too upset; He was well aware that he deserved that punch.
"I'm sorry," Cole mumbled. It was genuine, but not good enough. Truth be told, he couldn't follow the conversation, and the smack did no good.
"Sorry? Is that all you have! I'm done!" Kai yelled, practically screamed, actually at Cole. Kai left the room, followed by Lloyd, who hadn't said anything. Zane trailed after.
Jay, on the other hand, stayed in the room. It was clear that he was far from done with Cole. Right, Cole. Cole looked horrified, shaken up. Mad at himself, hopefully. This was all his fault!
"Quit acting like this actually matters to you when your actions made it clear that it doesn't! We're supposed to be best friends, siblings! Why the hell did you stand back!" Jay yelled, his voice a mix of genuine confusion and anger in its purest form.
"I was scared, Jay!" Cole snapped back. Truth be told, he was scared. The wind and the heights he was at only reminded him of the ladders on the ship. The ones that practically killed him.
"Scared? And why the hell should that excuse anything! We were all scared, Cole! You made that far worse."
"You don't get it, Jay! It was a different type of fear! All I could think about was that stupid falling sensation! The ladders, when I fell!" Cole yelled, getting a bit emotional. Jay gave him a doubting glare.
"So what, Cole? Why the hell does that matter! You're alive so leave it in the past."
Cole really couldn't explain. It wasn't just something he could leave behind. It always came back; in nightmares, daydreams, or even missions. It seemed to follow him. It was like a weakness he couldn't overcome or even reflect on.
"You're burdening all of us, Cole, Nya especially!" Jay continued, mad still.
"Jay, I can't! I can't forget about it!" Cole yelled, but it was more of a plea than an angry remark.
"I don't care; just start doing it!" Jay snapped, "I'm sick of your stupid self-pity! You've been such a burden ever since you had one single big moment!" Cole gave only a frown in response.
"So what?! You're going to ignore me again?" Jay asked. Somehow his anger was still growing. "Well, then maybe you, no, we would be better off if you had died! If you never came back after falling off that ladder!" He screamed, his voice straining.
Cole couldn't respond; it felt as if everything was shattered. Jay paused too. He didn't mean that, obviously, but that didn't matter. Cole let a sigh out and wiped his face.
"I'm going to bed, Jay. Goodnight." His voice was sad, lost too. The way he dragged his feet as he treaded away slowly made it more clear that he was hurt. A simple sorry wouldn't fix this.
Jay went off his own way too, and Cole couldn't care where he went. To the other ninjas, to sensei, or to think on his own. It was unimportant. Either way, Cole was the enemy now.
Carefully, Cole slipped off his shirt. He took a moment to stare at all his scars. Some from big dangerous fights, some from rigorous training, and even some from experiences far too old. His fall left no marks on him; that was a fact. He just didn't understand why then it cut so deep.
He tried to brush it off while he went to flip the light switch. For how early in the evening it was, the lack of brightness in the room was surprising. Cole laid himself in bed, the covers up to his neck. He stared at the bunk above him for a while.
Cole wasn't at all surprised when he struggled to sleep. There was so much to think about. Nya's disappearance, the lack of information, and friendship with the team. Everything was bothering him right now.
He smothered a bit of blood off his nose while listening in on dinner conversations. It seemed like they were already able to ignore his absence. Sadly, that sparked an idea, an awful idea.
This would be a long, long night.