Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Late 1989
Since 31st October 1981, the Wizarding World spent their time without living in fear and happy that their family and friends were around them alive and safe.
But one family couldn’t. They lost half of their family and friends to the war. Several were dead, one in prison and the other missing, considered to be dead.
Remus was alone. Alice and Frank Longbottom were tortured into insanity a couple of days after Lily and James death and Neville is living with his grandmother.
Mary moved out of the country once she realised she had lost Alice. Remus later found out that Mary got married and became Mary Cattlemold.
Remus stopped looking for Eli in July 1982, he found it pointless to try and find someone who was taken by a masked person and if Eli had something to do with it it means Eli doesn't want to be found.
He hasn't stopped looking for Maya or Harry. He goes to Dumbledore every week to see where they are but Dumbledore says “I have no clue where they are '' but Remus knows it is bullshit.
He tried to go visit Sirius in prison so he had answers on why he betrayed Lily and James but he wasn't allowed and Andromeda thought it would be a bad idea to try and talk to someone who was downright evil.
Azkaban Prison:
He felt weak.
He felt ashamed.
He felt like he was to blame.
How could he been so stupid?
So blind?
It was staring him right in the face but he didn't want to believe it. Now people believe he sold his own friends and family. To him he is as good as killed them.
He tried to warn them but he was too late. They were already dead. The rat got to them. He knew that he shouldn't have taken his niece but after finding out about his sibling he thought that it was the best idea to do so.
He felt the familiar coldness come for him, he didn't want to take anymore of it so he turned into Padfoot so he didn't lose his mind any further than he already had.
The last nine years has been tortured for him. Finding out his sibling went missing, then two friends being tortured into insanity then his cousin being put in a cell next to him. He is losing his mind over it.
He wanted nothing more than to see his boyfriend again, well ex boyfriend. He can't believe he thought his boyfriend to be a traitor but he did and he hated himself for it.
Sirius knew he was innocent and he could have broken out already but he felt like he is responsible for Lily’s and James’s death so he should stay there until the right time or whenever he sees Pettigrew again but that may never happen.
He knew his 30th birthday was today because he could tell by the seasons changing plus his cousin next door wouldn't stop saying he is getting old.
He wondered if Eli was safe back with Remus or if they are still missing or even worse dead. This made him regret everything he had done to Eli in the past. He regretted thinking that Eli was a death eater in training and always referring to them as Bellatrix which he knew Eli hated.
Sirius started to think about if Eli was okay would they ever come and visit him or do they think that he is to blame because he remembers Eli screaming at him that they hated him and wished it was him that died and not Lily and James.
And Sirius couldn't blame Eli for having that reaction. He would have had the same reaction if he found out that the people he cared about was murdered and someone was the secret keeper but then again he is pissed off at Pettigrew for what he did.
Maybe he deserved to be in Azkaban?
Maybe this is karma for thinking Remus was the traitor?
A thousand thoughts rushed through his head at once and he tried his hardest to stop but once he started he couldn't stop and most of them were about Eli.
A basement in London:
“Oi wake up. Special day for you. It's your birthday but the question is do you know how old you are?” A man's voice asked his prisoner.
A weak voice spoke “Oh it's my birthday. The last birthday I remember is when I turned twenty one. I think I may be like twenty three or four”.
The man laughed. “Fuck me, i have kept you here for that long you forgot how old you are. Well I need to decide if I am letting you go or killing you. I think I will put you out of your misery and kill you” The man said before raising his wand to his prisoner.
The prisoner struggled against their chains “No no. Please, please let me go. I have two children. Not many people know about my second one but I have two children Maya Effie and Harry James, they have my last name in everything. Please, I want to go home to them” they begged.
The man grinned “That's funny you know because neither of your children remember who you are. They were taken away from you because people believed you were too mental to look after them. That you look too much like your darling cousin Bellatrix Lestrange” he taunted.
The prisoner looked scared “What what no no. I'm nothing like Bellatrix. I'm Eli Black just Eli, Leo even. I'm not Alexis Black she isn't me, she never has been or will be. I have a curse placed on me so anything you heard that I apparently did it was her. Okay so maybe I look like Bellatrix a bit but that's just my hair because of how long it is but I'm nothing like Bellatrix” Eli quickly spoke.
“But you engaged in death eater activities even before this Alexis person shows so you must be a death eater but then again your arms are bare minus the burnt outline where they tried to force it on you,” The man replied.
“No no I didn't, I didn't. But if you let me go I won't say anything. I don't even know who you are, I haven't seen your face and this is the first time you have had a conversation with me for a long time. Please please just let me go. I haven't even done anything wrong to you like I said I don't even know who you are” Eli desperately spoke.
“You have done everything wrong with me with your goody two shoes little act it made me sick, you and your so called friends swanning around Hogwarts like it was your god giving right and the way you treated the people who were different to you was sickening, I know what you did in February 1978 before you got hammered and got your twin involved but you would say that was Alexis. Goodbye Eli Black you will be meeting your mudblood wife and blood traitor best friend after all these years” The man said before getting ready to kill Eli.
“NO” Eli yelled and broke the chains that held onto their arms. Eli was shocked at the use of magic and put it down as accidental magic. They kicked their legs under the man's feet causing him to fall down to the ground.
The man's wand rolled across the floor and Eli leaped for it before the man could. They picked it up and prayed the wand would let them use alohomora so they could be free.
It worked. The basement door unlocked and Eli flung it open and ran out keeping the wand with them.
“Get back here Black or I swear to Merlin it will be the last thing you do” the man shouted, pissed off.
“Never” Eli shouted back and they kept running. No matter how weak they were, they kept running for their life. They were able to navigate themself out of the place they were held, saw that dawn was breaking and ran through the woods.
Eli looked back at the place they were held at and saw it was an abandoned house that was starting to fall to pieces. They couldn't hear the man's voice anymore so they flung the wand away as hard as they could so it would never be found.
They kept on running and running until they were able to hear something that startled them. A main road. “Oh my Merlin. I'm close to finding someone. Please say someone helps me. I just want to go home” Eli thought with hope raising.
They kept running until they hit the main road. They stopped briefly to look about and began to walk along the side of the road.
Cars drove past them not wanting to take someone who looked homeless but one car stopped. Eli stopped at the car window rolled down. “Are you alright there my dear you seem lost” a woman with brown hair asked.
Eli began to break down in tears due to exhaustion and happiness. The car door opened and the women got out of the car and opened the back car door before she gently picked up Eli and placed them in the back seat.
In the back seat was a girl who looked no older than 10 years old. “Hermione dear can you buckle her in please and we are going to take her to the hospital” the mother asked.
“Aye Mum i will” Hermione replied and it shocked Eli to hear a northern accent come out of a girl who has southern parents and lived in the south.
Eli tried to speak but every time they did the mother kept telling to save their voice until they got to the hospital.
Not long after the car of 4 reached the hospital. The father who was driving made his way to Eli’s side of the car and carried Eli into the hospital. The mother and the girl who was called Hermione followed after.
“We need help here please. My family and I found this person walking on the side of the road looking injured and like they have been kept somewhere for years as they looked scared of what was going on around them” The father spoke.
Doctors and Nurses ran over to the group of four and took Eli off the father. “ Do you have a name for this young lady?” a nurse asked.
“No I couldn't get one out of them and they shut down after what happened” the father replied. The nurse nodded as Eli was put on a stretcher and wheeled away.
The family of three went after Eli stating “We found them and we want to know if they are okay” and the Doctors and Nurses couldn't argue with what was said.
Once Eli was placed in a room the Doctors and Nurses assessed how badly Eli was injured. “They have been beaten and starved. They have very old injuries that look like they have been there for a while. Going off the scars I think we are going to need the nurses who look after these types of cases. So the Jane/John Doe cases” the Doctor spoke.
A Nurse walked out and got the specialist nurse. “Right, so who do we have today. Oh my Lord Eli is that you? Please say that is you” the nurse rushed in.
Eli looked up “Andy is that you?” Eli asked. Andromeda Tonks nodded her head.
“Yes my darling Eli, it's me. You have been gone for so long that it's your 30th birthday” Andy replied.
“Wait Nurse Tonks, you know our Jane Doe? She was rushed in not that long ago with the family that sat in the corner” A doctor asked.
“They ain’t a Jane Doe, their name is Eli Black and just use they/them please and i don't give a shit about the new laws alright they are bullshit. Now if you don't mind I would like to treat Professor Black myself” Andy said.
The other doctors and nurses huffed before walking out of the room.
“But the laws are there for a reason. You called them Professor, why?” the woman asked.
“Because before Eli was taken, they were a Professor in a boarding school. Our whole family went too and it was where they met their wife” Andy replied.
“That's disgusting how she was able to be a Professor while being married to another woman. I hope she doesn't become a Professor again cause I don't want them to teach students her awful lifestyle and say it's normal” the women spoke of hatred.
“Jean shut the hell up. We are going to talk about this when we get home. I am so sorry about my wife. Hermione please do not take in anything your mother said” the man said sincerely.
“Aye Dad i wont take notice of what Mother said” Hermione replied.
Andy was shocked with the northern accent that came out of this small child that had two southern parents.
“We will be going now. Professor Black I hope you get better soon and I think you would be a brilliant Professor when you go back. Thank you Doctor Tonks for noticing who your cousin was. Jean, Hermione let's go home please” the man said before shaking Andy’s hand.
“Thank you for helping my cousin Sir” Andy replied.
“No problem and if Eli would like to contact us my name is Richard Granger and here is my number” Richard said, pulling out a business card and handing it to Andy.
“When they come back from their daydream I will give them the business card. Goodbye Richard and Hermione. Jean, I hope you become a better person because your bigoted ideas will get you nowhere. Believe me, me and Eli come from a bigoted household. If we can get out of that headspace so can you” Andy said.
Richard then took hold of Hermione’s hand and walked out of the hospital room with a pissed off Jean following.
Andy watched as the family walked out and noticed how the little girl, Hermione looked like Eli when they were younger just with brown hair but Hermione couldn't be Eli’s daughter because Sirius killed her the night Lily and James died.
Andy couldn't stop wondering about it so she made a note in her head to try and find anything out about this Hermione Granger girl.
A couple of hours later Eli came back from their trance state and looked terrified. “Hey hey hey Eli you're fine, you are safe. It's just me and you at this moment in time and nobody else. Why don't we once you are cleared from here go back to Remus because I know he would love to see you” Andy spoke in a soft but stern voice.
“Andy it was so terrible being kept in there for I don't know how long. The person barely spoke to me until I escaped. I didn't even expect to come out of there alive because the person didn't want to acknowledge my existence. Why keep a person without harming them until the very end, oh wait maybe because they wanted to mentally torture me. Why couldn't the person just kill me instead of letting me live. I wish I died in the place” Eli said quickly.
Andy just stood there feeling sorry for Eli after everything they have gone through from birth till now. No one deserves to go through something like that or suffer anything traumatic especially when it is one after another.
“Eli, let's see if you are clear to go home. I'm sure Remus would love to see you and then maybe we can look for Maya and Harry if you feel up to it” Andy said, trying to change the subject as she went about and checked Eli’s vitals.
Andy left for a second before coming back with another Doctor to make sure everything was okay. “Well Doctor Tonks is correct, all your vitals are a lot better than they were when you came in Mrs Black and i agree with her for you to go back home to your family. I am not going to give you any medication as I do not find it fit to give you it as I don't feel like your experience was that bad. Good day” The male doctor said before walking out.
“That bloody fucking bastard not giving you anything to help you. I'm not even allowed to give you anything otherwise my licence will be taken away from me but when we get back to Remus’s flat I will ask Madam Pomfrey to see if she can give you something” Andy said not happy with what she witnessed.
Andy got Eli ready and as Eli only arrived with the clothes they were wearing, Andy didn't have anything to pack as Eli didn't want to be put into a hospital gown. The two walked out of the hospital to see it was dark, once they were out of sight apparated away to the Marauders Flat.#
The Marauders Flat:
Remus was sitting in the dark wondering if he would ever be happy again. He finally got around to cleaning the flat but it took him ages to do it. He barely slept anymore because that small hope he had that the fireplace or door would open and Eli would come through.
Remus didn’t know what he was doing. He was debating whether to go to bed or not because he wanted to do something important the next day. He decided against going to bed and just stayed where he was sitting.
He then heard knocking on the door. “Lupin, open up i have something to show you” a female voice was heard from the other side of the door.
Remus got up from his chair wondering why Andy Tonks was knocking on his door at this time of night. “Alright Andy, I'm coming, no need to try and break down my door” he responded, unlocking the door and opening it up.
He walked away from the door and Andy walked into the flat with someone who looked familiar but he couldn't place his finger on it.
“Andy, who do you have with you?” he asked, trying his hardest to remember who it was.
“Well it looks like my fears have been confirmed. I have been forgotten like I didn't even matter in the first place” A northern voice said looking up from the ground and staring at Remus.
Remus’s jaw dropped. “Lupin, you may want to close your mouth. You are letting all the flies in” Andy stated.
“Leo is that you. Oh my Leo I thought you were dead. I tried so long to look for you but there were no signs. You have always mattered Leo. Am I allowed to hug you?” Remus rushed.
Eli nodded and Remus ran over and hugged them. They both began to cry, overwhelmed with everything.
“Right both of you off to bed. Don’t try to argue. Yes I both know that you are almost 30, I don’t care. The pair of you have been through some hard shit for the past 8 years and tonight you are both going to sleep peacefully. Now I am the eldest so you both listen to me so bed now” Andy demanded.
“Yes Andy” The two responded and went off to their separate rooms. Andy smiled as she heard the pair of them say goodnight to each other and then doors closing.
Andy then settled down on the sofa reminding herself to inform the others that Eli is back safely and tell them that their mental state of mind may be a little off.
~~~~
A few days later it was Eli’s 30th birthday party and everyone was trying to make it as enjoyable as they could. Later that night there was going to be a small gathering which Eli had approved of so no surprise party like some of them.
Minnie and Rory were coming to the party straight after work so their clothes are already at the flat waiting for them.
The only people at this gathering are Eli, Remus, Minnie, Aurora, Andy and Ted as Dor is at Hogwarts and no one has told Molly and Arthur that Eli is back.
Eli was sitting in their room listening to Remus, Ted and Andy set up the party. They just felt completely lost, they had to pretend to be okay and nothing was affecting them. No one knew how they felt on the inside, how terrified they were of something happening.
They began drinking their water, their mind thinking. “I wonder if Siri is doing okay? I know i shouldn't have said that to him but i was so angry with him. Did Sirius really sell out Lily and James or was it actually Peter who did it. I have no clue”.
No one saw the pain of what they are going through. No one knows what Eli is actually doing. No one knows about the nightmares they are getting from being kidnapped, No one knows how much Eli is praying to hear Alexis' voice but Alexis never did come back.
They heard a voice that was long gone. Gone for 8 years. When they don't want to hear what the person has to say they see it. Eli didn't like what it was saying. No matter how hard Eli tried to shut it out they couldn't. There were times when they wanted to scream bloody murder because of it but they didn't want to concern anyone over it.
“You know they are too thick to understand what you are doing right. They believe you are fine, that nothing is wrong with you but there is and always has been. I don't think they even noticed they were missing, i don't think Remus even wanted you back” the female voice said appearing to Eli
“Shut up, yes he did want me to come back otherwise my wand wouldn't have been placed on the mantelpiece would it?” Eli fought back
“Okay believe what you think but you know deep down no one wants you to come back” the female said to them.
Eli began to silently cry. They are 30 fucking year old and they still act like a child. Still have those feelings they had when they were teenagers. Why couldn't they just die when they were 16 then 17 then 18 and then last when they were 21. For some stupid reason someone is trying to keep them alive. They took a sip of their water again feeling safe as they took it.
Their mind wandered again back to Sirius. Eli knew that Sirius hated birthdays as much as Eli did but couldn't stop feeling that if they were together that it might be a good one.
Eli didn't know if Sirius was doing okay in Prison or if he had died. Was he informed that they are alive or that Walburga is well and truly dead? When Eli found out about Walburga they thought Walburga was playing another joke and pretending to be dead again but she was actually dead this time.
They were told that Walburga died from a heart attack. Eli was told that the reason Walburga had a heart attack was because she looked at the family tree and something shocked her so much it killed her. Eli didn't believe that bit but they do believe that Walburga had a heart attack.
Eli had stopped sleeping because of their nightmare. While they have only been home for a matter of a few days, they stopped sleeping after the first few nights so they did not wake anyone up with their screaming.
Eli looked around their room and noticed that it was still the same as the last time they slept in it which made them smile at them but also noticed their wolf was moved a little bit making them think Remus must have done something.
Eli got off their bed and went over to their wolf which they did dub Leo and began to examine it for any hiding cameras or something. After looking at it for a while they couldn't see anything obvious but from that day on Eli was very wary of it.
Eli began to get ready for the small gathering. They put on a nice black jumpsuit and flat not bothering if they ruined them. They put their hair in a ponytail leaving strands of hair at the front of their head.
The jewellery they put on was their usual so the L necklace Lily got them which made Eli feel weird, a bracelet and the ring James got them in first year, they then put on a pair of earring that belonged to their mother. The only makeup Eli put on was black lipstick and nothing else. Eli was trying to distance themself from their younger self as much as they could.
“Leo it's time for the party, let's get it started” Remus shouted from the living room. Eli stood in front of their mirror and took a deep breath in before walking out from the comfort of their room and into the living room.
“Leo you look lovely. Merlin does it all make you look younger, people wouldn't think you are 30 year old” Remus tried to flatten them.
“Thanks Moony,” Eli said in a small voice.
Andy couldn't take her eyes off Eli. Everything reminded her of a young Walburga and what Bellatrix would have looked like if she didn't go crazy. But Andy did still see Eli through it all and came to the conclusion that it's either the family genes catching up with Eli or they are trying their hardest to come off as a Black.
Aurora was shocked at how hard Eli is trying to pretend to be someone they are not. Aurora knew that this wasn't the Eli she taught and worked with. They wouldn't try to be their mother. Aurora thought that Eli was in a good need of dying their hair whether it be full of their head or the strands of hair that was in the front of Eli’s head.
“As always Eli you look beautiful now come let's listen to music, eat some food, have some frizzy drinks and then we can cook your cook yeah” Ted said which reminded everyone of what James used to mother the group.
Eli didn’t mind this as Ted was trying to turn the attention onto other things. Music started to play which startled Eli a little bit and tried to play it off. Thankfully no one saw it.
Aurora walked over to Eli “Hey Eli, lets go sit on the sofa yeah so you don't get tired out. Why don't you tell me how you are feeling and I also want to let you in on a little secret” she said as she got hold of Eli’s hand and led them to the sofa.
“Rory lets just say you don't want to know what is going on in my mind, it's an awful place to be and I don't want to dump that on anyone else” Eli replied quietly not wanting to say how they feel to anyone.
“Okay so your mind is awful, I don't care. Now would you like to know the secret?” Aurora asked. Eli nodded their head.
“Well I think Albus is looking for a second Potions Professor as the grades have dropped for the Owls and Newts. I think he may want you back so if you get yourself out of your mindset maybe Albus will let you back at the school” Aurora informed Eli.
Eli perked up “Wait really really. I may get my job back” they replied.
“Maybe Eli but you need to speak to people about how you are feeling and maybe get proper help from people cause I don't think you are doing okay at the moment and I feel like you are trying to hide something” Aurora said.
“Don't listen to her. No one wants to know how you are feeling because no one cares about you. Aurora is just being nice. Just give a simple answer and hope she will go away” the female voice in Eli’s head said.
“Jesus Lily. shut up please. You are dead, you shouldn't be here” Eli thought back.
“Well when you are murdered by someone who considered a friend and your wife disappears with their daughter, you just learn how to haunt someone who loves you. Now answer Aurora otherwise she will think something is wrong ” Lily replied.
“Aurora, I'm fine, I don't need to speak to anyone alright. Now I'm going to get some food, do you want any?” Eli asked getting up off the sofa.
“Nah I'm fine Eli, you go and enjoy” Aurora replied to Eli. It's now common knowledge when Eli isn't happy they call their friends but their full name and not the nickname they gave that person.
“Ah Eli, come and try this pie. It's wonderful, I think it's a corned beef pie. Remus made it, spent all day doing it” Ted said as he saw Eli coming over.
Eli smiled as they walked towards Ted. They tried the pie and they loved it “Merlin Ted you are right this is wonderful. Now tell me more about yourself please Ted, last time I talked to you I was 20”.
Ted handed Eli a glass of coke before speaking. “Well I'm a weatherman for the muggle news and I started in September 1981 so it's been a long time. You know Dor is in their 6th Year at Hogwarts and best friends with Charlie Weasley. Also Dor is like you, I mean since they were a child we saw that they showed signs like you did as a child whereas Andy took a while to get used to it I didn't and I love my Dor all the same” He explained.
“That's brilliant Ted, that's really interesting. Being a weatherman must be really good as you get to see what is going on within the air and guess what is going to happen” Eli replied with a grin on their face.
Remus and Andy watched as the pair in the kitchen laughed and giggled talking about things that interest them and about work.
“It's the first time in days I have seen Leo so lively with someone. Like they are not even like this with me and I'm their best mate” Remus said feeling a little jealous of Eli and Ted.
Andy hit Remus on the back of the head. “Don't act like that you dick. Maybe Eli just needed to speak to someone who isn't someone they know properly. The thing is with me, you and the two Professors, Eli has known us for years but for Ted they barely know him so it may help them” Andy informed.
“But Andy, Eli is my best mate and I feel bad that they barely talk anymore and that they can't come to speak to me about how they feel,” Remus replied.
“Remus, Eli will speak to you when they want to okay” Andy replied. Remus nodded, still looking at Eli and Ted.
“Oi Ted stop hogging the birthday person I want to speak to them” Minnie said rushing over. “Alright sorry Professor McGonagall” Ted replied.
“Edward Tonks, you have not been at school for almost 20 years. You do not need to call me Professor McGonagall, I am Minnie. For some weird reason Eli is the only person who calls me by my first name” Minnie said.
“That's because you used to work with them Minnie” Remus shouted over. Minnie laughed before saying “Oh shut Lupin”.
Eli shook their head, liking that things never change. “Right Minerva, let's not do that” Eli said laughing.
“Well it's time to cut the cake so everyone into the kitchen now please, Eli needs to blow out their candles and make a wish” Minnie then said, brushing off what Eli said.
Remus got the cake out of the fridge and lit a few candles and placed the cake in front of Eli. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Leo/Eli. Happy birthday to you. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip Hooray. Hip hip hooray” the five said as Eli blew out the candles on the last hip hip hooray.
“Make a wish Leo” Remus said before the last candle was blown out.
“I wish i didn't feel like this anymore” Eli thought, wishing in their head.
“So what did you wish for?” Minnie asked.
Ted shook his head before saying “They can't say or it won't come true”. Minnie made a face before she moved the cake away from Eli and began to cut the cake.
She then dished out the cake so everyone had a slice and there were some slices left over. The cake was a chocolate cake with strawberry sauce drizzled over it.
Eli took a bite and it tasted amazing. “Fucking hell who made this fucking cake” Eli asked.
“I did Eli. I remembered that you loved chocolate cake and strawberry sauce or strawberries in general so I made a cake for you” Ted responded.
“Well Ted you can make me cakes more often cause this is amazing” Eli said in love with the cake they had.
“Right time for more dancing, let's go” Aurora said, grabbing hold of Eli and began dancing with them with music blasting.
~~~~
In Azkaban, Sirius had drawn a cake in the dirt. A couple of days ago Helena Abbott told Sirius that Eli is alive and safe back with their family and there is no way that Eli is ever visiting him in prison.
He was informed that due to Leo being found on their birthday, a small gathering was going to be held so he decided to do a small little thing for himself.
Andy knew a guard in the prison who would tell Sirius this as Andy wanted to make Sirius’s life a living hell.
Sirius heard banging in the other cells knowing that people have gone crazy because of their treatment here in Azkaban.
Sirius started to sing happy birthday to himself before blowing out the dirt candles. He made a wish hoping that someday he will find Peter Pettigrew and avenge his friend's death and find the person who kidnapped Leo for the second time.
A couple hours later Sirius heard the clock chime midnight and he hoped that Eli was getting a good night's sleep. Sirius laid down on the hard cold floor in hope of falling asleep knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to sleep.