Work Text:
The morning breeze blew through the balcony curtains of the small apartment, sunlight streaming through the gap between them created by the cool air. The light highlighted the canvas which a busy artist was working on, yet again creating brush stroke after brush stroke of shades of red, yellow and pink that blended to show the facial features of a person, although not quite set in the places they should be.
The artist, known as Kuroko Tetsuya, sighed as he set his paintbrush down on the paint palette to stretch, looking around his room that included in it nothing more than the standard furniture needed for living, such as a bed, which sat nicely in the middle of the room, a plain white wardrobe and some matching drawers. There were also paint supplies littered around the room and many canvases lined the walls, some had unfinished paintings on them and some were blank, ready to be used when needed. He didn’t own a TV, he never felt the need to buy one and preferred to spend time painting.
Kuroko looked at his work. Of course he'd, as he usually did in some way or another, painted the mysterious red haired man that came to him when he slept. Those heterochromatic eyes, one scarlet and one yellowish gold, stared back at him, one from where his nose was supposed to be and one from his forehead. This time he’d decided to paint a distorted image of the unknown beauty, a different approach to his usual attempt of making real the face he saw in his dreams.
Kuroko had no idea who this man was, nor did he know why he felt a sense of longing for him whenever he woke from his slumber, but to Kuroko, this man was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. He just knew this man would be the perfect person to paint. His eyes glistened and looked towards Kuroko like he was the only person in the world. He spoke to him sometimes, but Kuroko could never hear what he said, like his mind wanted him to remember this person, but only by his appearance.
Kuroko could not say why he dreamt about this person the amount he did. The man felt familiar to him, like they’d been close once before. Who was he? Kuroko had yet to figure that out. His mind was so infatuated with him that he needed to know what was so important about him.
If you asked him to, Kuroko could sketch his face and body perfectly. He’d practically memorized his appearance and would draw him whenever he felt like it, needing no reference nor model to help with the job. But everything else about the man? He couldn’t tell you a thing. Surely, his mind wasn’t so shallow as to become obsessed with a person because of how they looked?
In all honesty, Kuroko couldn’t say much about anything that wasn’t from the last six years of his life. He simply didn’t remember any of it. Why? All he could remember was that he’d woken up in a hospital bed 6 years earlier, a pink haired Japanese girl going by the name of Momoi Satsuki looked down at him, eyes full of worry.
That’s when he learned he’d been in a terrible accident, one involving a collision of trains that had stolen all his memories, and with that his life, from him.
Momoi had explained that she’d taken a back road to get to her destination, which is where she’d caught site of the train wreckage and had stopped to help. Policemen and paramedics were surrounding the area, searching for the bodies of people who’d caught the train, hoping they were still alive. She searched where the authorities hadn’t yet checked and found Kuroko under a pile of rubble, his body bleeding everywhere.She claimed to have carried him away from the scene and had taken him to the hospital herself as she believed if she didn’t he might’ve died before the paramedics could take him.
She stayed with him throughout his entire hospital stay and even went as far as to offer up her apartment for him to stay at until he recovered fully. Since Kuroko could remember nothing, he accepted the help and she had helped him get his new life set up in a city he was unfamiliar with (which turned out to be Paris).
He could recall nothing before the incident apart from minor things such as that he often painted and a few childhood memories that were quite blurry, but nothing more. He’d only found out his name from Momoi who’d found it on the ID from the wallet in his pocket.
The doctors explained that he’d severely damaged his head and that it would be very unlikely that he would get his memories back. They had tried to contact family, only to find out that there wasn’t any contact information for them as Kuroko was not from France.
He often wondered what his life had been like before the incident, who were his friends? Did he work? Was he in a relationship? Why was he in France? Who is this man his mind wanted him so badly to remember? These were questions he would probably never find the answer to unless by some miracle his memories came back, so he started his life anew, hoping that one day he would remember.
He had no time to dwell on these things however, as he had an art exhibition that night that many important people were attending, and he still had the last painting to finish. Kuroko was now a popular artist in France, known as to the public as TK, which he achieved with much help from Momoi, meaning he had to hold shows, as many wanted to view and purchase his work. People had heard of him from all over the world and many came to see his art exhibitions and requested personal pieces from him so he was a very busy artist.
Kuroko took one last look at the distorted image of the man he so regularly dreamed about, picked up his brush that had been dyed red due to the copious amounts of red paint he’d used, and began painting again, thinking I don’t know who you are, but I’ll paint you forever if it means I can remember.
“I have to visit an art exhibition tonight? Why?” Akashi asked his father who was currently sitting across from him at their hotel room’s dining table. They were in France for business meetings and gatherings which the Akashi Company were invited to.
“Yes Seijuro, it is important for us to show our faces at such events. We need to be involved while we’re here, do we not? We can’t turn down important social invitations. Other competing companies will also be there so you’ll get to discuss business with them. Besides, I’m busy with a meeting tonight, so you must go.” His father explained. Of course, Akashi knew this. He just didn’t like the idea of going to an art exhibition, especially in France.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like art. In fact, he loved it, he just hadn’t so much as looked at an art piece since…
-
Message from: Tetsuya
I’m on the way to the airport now Akashi-kun, the train should arrive there in about 20 minutes. I will text you when I’m there.
Akashi read the message again and again. He was glad Kuroko had agreed to let him buy him a phone that allowed international calls and texts otherwise he would have to use skype every day to call him and he did not like the limitations that came with the site.
After visiting France for two weeks, Kuroko was going to be returning home, right back into Akashi's arms where nothing but warmth was waiting to welcome him. Kuroko had gone there to paint famous landmarks that he often talked about visiting whenever he'd talk about art.
He was so passionate about the subject that it pained Akashi whenever he had to interrupt him. Kuroko's face was always so content and carefree when he painted, his hand travelled gracefully across the canvas, no mistakes were ever made and, from watching him so much, Akashi had noticed he'd bite his lip whenever he had a particularly delicate bit to go over. It was little things like this that captivated Akashi whenever Kuroko set out to work on a new piece.
Kuroko absolutely adored it and he dreamed of becoming a professional one day. This is something Akashi was determined to help become a reality because he knew how much this meant to him and he wanted to see Kuroko's light up with happiness as it did whenever he painted. But Kuroko was stubborn and had decided long ago, before he'd even met Akashi, that he'd achieve his dream through his own determination and hard work, so Akashi just had to be there to support him and cheer for him from the sidelines, which he didn't mind that much anyway.
It had felt like Kuroko had been away for years and Akashi had missed him dearly. Due to his heavy workload from being a partial owner of his family's company, Akashi wasn't able to travel with him which he was greatly upset about.
For the past two weeks Akashi had to return home to an empty apartment with no one to relieve him of the stress work brought with it. Kuroko often calmed him down and cared for him until he was free of the troubles running a business caused him. Without Kuroko there to do this, home did not feel like home. It was lonely, loveless and downright dull. Kuroko brought colour into his life, literally and metaphorically, and took it with him whenever he left him. He wanted him back.
Which is why his heart warmed up when Kuroko notified him of his returning to Japan. Their house would finally feel like home again and Akashi could not wait to pull him into his arms and feel the warmth he'd missed so much.
However, that warmth never came.
Akashi had replied to Kuroko’s message and awaited his reply.
He’d been waiting for the past half an hour for Kuroko’s reply, but before he could call him to see what the hold up was, Akashi heard-
“..train crashed on the way to the Roissy-Charles-de-Gaulle airport in France today..” from the living room TV as the world news was read out. The train to the Roissy-Charles-de-Gaulle airport? Isn’t that the train Tetsuya…? Akashi thought as he ran into the living area. He turned the TV up and watched in horror as a birds-eye view of the accident was shown. No… It can’t be… He scrambled for his phone and dialed Kuroko’s number, panic building up the longer the ringing went on for. He tried three more times and decided to check through previous messages for Kuroko’s train information when Kuroko didn’t pick up.
The information matched up. That was Kuroko’s train. Akashi didn’t know what to think.
“..According to sources, no survivors have been found..”
No. This couldn’t be happening. Tetsuya was alive. Of course he was. Tetsuya couldn’t die. He couldn’t… Akashi stood still, staring at the TV. Kuroko had to be alive. Akashi couldn’t imagine his life without him.
He’d had a long night of checking with connections in France, practically begging them to check for Kuroko’s name on a survivors list or if he’d been admitted to hospital or anything, he just needed to know that Kuroko was alive.
Akashi didn’t sleep that night, and it would be a long time before he slept properly again, because Kuroko’s name came up on a list but not the list Akashi had hoped for. At 4am, a contact
from France called him, “Seijuro, I’m sorry but, Kuroko Tetsuya has been presumed dead. His body hasn’t been found.”
-
He shook his head, it had been six years and remembering that now wouldn’t make this any easier. Kuroko is gone, Akashi told himself. This is something he had to do for sake of keeping up the Akashi Company’s reputation, he was going to take over once his father retired after all. He had to get over his past at some point.
“Of course,” Akashi said after sipping his tea. “Where is it taking place?”
“The Gagosian Gallery of Paris. It starts at 7pm so you have 5 hours. The artist is called TK, his work is apparently quite popular here. I do expect you to look at it all properly,” his father replied.
Paris huh? The city that took your last moments away from me… Akashi thought as he got up from the dining table, nodding at his father. He might as well get ready now as Paris was a few miles away from where he was staying and it was better to be early than late.
It was 6pm, in 1 hour Kuroko’s art exhibition would start. He’d finished his final painting an hour ago and decided to bring it to the gallery a bit before the exhibition started.
Kuroko walked through the entrance and inside, the walls were plain white with 3 or so paintings on each. The rooms themselves were wide enough to fit at least 100 people in with nothing in the middle of them so there was plenty of room to move around. It was the perfect size for the exhibition.
“Tetsu!” Kuroko heard as he made his way further into the building. He looked over as Aomine walked up to him, the usual grin plastered on his face. Aomine, who had darker skin, dark blue hair and was much taller than Kuroko, was Momoi’s closest friend who’d helped him recover from the incident and he’d stayed with the both of them ever since. They were Japanese so it made it much easier for Kuroko to communicate with them as he didn’t know French.
“Hello Aomine-kun,” Kuroko greeted. “Is Momoi-san here yet? I’ve brought my final painting with me.” He held it in front of him to show Aomine.
“Yeah she’s just talking to the owner of the gallery,” Aomine replied whilst looking over the painting. “You drew that guy again? I swear your entire art exhibition should be called ‘Mysterious Red Haired Guy’! He’s in so many of your paintings…” He laughed as he started walking in the direction of where Momoi was, Kuroko began to follow, smiling at Aomine’s comment.
“Yes Aomine-kun, I believe that would have been a good name for it.”
“It sucks you can’t remember who he is though. He must’ve been pretty important if he keeps appearing in your dreams like that… But I guess there’s nothin’ you can do about that Tetsu.” Aomine said whilst scratching the back of his neck. Kuroko chose not to reply and simply kept following Aomine until they reached where Momoi was.
“Satsuki, Tetsu’s here!” Aomine called as they approached her. She turned around to face them and immediately her face lit up.
“Tetsu-kun!” She shouted as she ran to them, hugging Kuroko as soon as she was close enough. Before she’d cut Kuroko of his oxygen supply, she let go and beamed at her closest friends. “You brought the final painting! Let me see!”
Kuroko handed her the painting, waiting whilst she looked over it. She smiled warmly at Kuroko once she’d finished. “I love it. Hm, I think we should put this one outside, it can be the welcoming painting!” she exclaimed. “What have you named it?”
“’If Only I Knew You As Clearly As I Could See You’” Kuroko replied. He’d thought of it when he was halfway finished, he actually thought it was quite clever and pretty meaningful… Not that anyone other than Aomine or Momoi would get it, the latter more so since she was the only one to ask about the mysterious man.
“Ah, I like it! It’s the perfect name actually, I’ll go make the label for it now!” she said as she turned with the painting in hand and walked to wherever it was they made the labels for the paintings.
“I think these are gonna be your most popular paintings Tetsu, they’re some of your best work yet!” Aomine commented from behind Kuroko. Kuroko turned around to see Aomine observing his paintings.
“Thank you, Aomine-kun.” Kuroko replied, walking to the side of Aomine to observe his own work. If he was honest, he’d felt like that too. He seemed to put more effort into these paintings than he had done previous ones, not that he didn’t put effort into others. He’d thought this was due to the mysterious red haired man becoming clearer with each dream, his features seemed to show more and he’d begun to smile a lot more. He decided his smile was something he quite liked about the man and he worked hard to perfect it in his paintings, hence why his final piece had taken him until today to finish.
Aomine stood for a moment before lifting his arm to check his watch. “Well I better go get ready, it’s 6:20pm and there’s always some that come here early, I’ll be back in 10 Tetsu!” Aomine half shouted as he began walking towards wherever he’d left his suit.
There’s about 25 minutes before people will start arriving… I’ll go and help Momoi-san. Kuroko thought, turning towards the entrance as he assumed that that’d be where Momoi was.
Akashi arrived at the gallery at exactly 6:50pm. The car he’d taken stopped outside the doors, allowing him to get out and straighten out the black suit, white button up shirt and red tie he’d chosen to wear. From what he could see, there were a few people inside who had also arrived early so he assumed it was alright to go in now even though it didn’t start until 7pm.
He walked towards the entrance where a medium size canvas hung. The painting looked to be a man with red hair, but it was distorted. A mixture of reds, yellows and pinks were blended into shapes that resembled facial features which made it hard to guess whose face it was. Interesting... Akashi thought as he took one last look at the painting. The style of the painting seemed oddly familiar to him but he couldn’t think why, so he proceeded to enter the entrance of the gallery.
Inside, there were about 20 people scattered around the room.
“Welcome to the 10th TK art exhibition! I’m Momoi Satsuki, the event planner,” A pink haired girl said, smiling as she stood behind a small counter holding a clipboard, most likely takingnames, Akashi thought. “Could you tell me your last name please? I need to check the list.”
“Akashi,” he stated, turning fully to face the young woman. She was short and wore a black cocktail dress that had diamantes in the center of the waist. She looked at him, eyes and mouth widening as she looked at Akashi from head to toe. He narrowed his eyes at her when she started staring.
“Is there something wrong with my face Momoi-san? You seem to be staring.” Akashi said. The pink haired girl then snapped out of her trance and blinked.
“Oh I’m sorry Akashi-san, you just looked familiar…” she mumbled as she looked down to find his name on the invite list. “Ah here it is, I hope you enjoy your time around the gallery!” She said, smiling at Akashi. Well that was odd… He thought as he made his way to the first painting which was on his left.
This painting was called ‘Summer on the Hill’. It was a landscape piece, medium in size, and it was of a man standing at the edge of hill that overlooked a village. From where he stood, Akashi could see that the man had red hair, styled much like his own, and that he wore a white dress shirt and black trousers, one hand was holding the suit jacket over his shoulder. The other hand was on his waist. It almost looked like the man was posing for the painting. The man looked… Almost like himself?
Just as Akashi was about to get a closer look, a man called out to him and pulled his attention away from the painting, which frustrated him slightly.
He turned to his right to see a man who looked to be in his forties. He was around 6ft tall and had more of a chubbier build, he wore a typical black business suit but no tie. Akashi recognised him as the owner of a company the Akashi Company had good relations with.
“Awashima-san, I wasn’t aware you were in Paris.” Akashi said as the man approached him.
“Yes, we got here yesterday. We’re attending the conference with the partnering company of the Akashi Company tomorrow, actually.” The man replied, turning to look at the painting Akashi was looking at before. He lent forward slightly to get a closer look. “Is your father not here?”
“Ah, I shall be seeing you tomorrow then. As for my father, no, he’s attending a business meeting tonight which is why I’m here.” Akashi said as he moved to look at the painting again.
“Oh right,” the man replied. They continued with small talk for a few minutes before the man looked at Akashi, an odd look crossing his features.
“Y’know, I always thought the man in the paintings was you Seijuro-kun,” the man said, hand on chin as if he was deep in thought. “He has the same hair and facial features, don’t you think? But I didn’t think you’d ever met TK before so I never didn’t think it’d be possible.”
“You think?” Akashi responded. He did think the man in this particular painting resembled himself. But wait… Awashima said paintings… As in more than one… This red haired man wasn’t in all of them was he? “I’m not familiar with his work, if I’m honest. This is the first time I’ve seen it. Does he paint this man a lot?” Akashi asked.
“Yes, he’s almost in every painting TK does. TK’s never said who it is though, he’s always referred to as the ‘unnamed man’ or something like that,” Awashima explained. “Say, why not walk around the gallery together? I’ll show you.”
“Alright, I would like that Awashima-san.” Akashi replied, following Awashima around the gallery.
To say that Akashi was confused would be an understatement. The man in the paintings looked a lot like himself. Almost identical, actually. He appeared in almost every piece, the same red hair and features as Akashi. Now that he thought about it, the distorted image of the red haired man even had features that resembled him too.
Some of the paintings were places he’d to been before, some of even the places he had stumbled upon when exploring with Kuroko. But he was sure he’d never met the artist before and there was only one person he knew who’d painted him and knew of these places, but he was no longer here.
Yes, he and the Akashi Company were quite well known within the business world and had appeared on the news many times, but to paint him this much, and in so much detail, would surely mean that it was someone he was close with and they’d need his permission if they were getting paid for these pieces wouldn’t they?
Why would the artist paint someone who looked so much like Akashi and not think to say who it was? Surely he’d realise people would get confused or he could get into trouble for painting someone without their consent? Unless he had no idea who Akashi was… But the man in the paintings looked too much like him that he couldn’t possibly believe that.
Akashi was in one the less crowded rooms of the gallery after having said goodbye to Awashima. It was around 8:30pm and he’d insisted on staying for a bit longer after being offered a ride back to his hotel by his business friend, so Awashima left and Akashi decided to look around the only room he hadn’t been in. There were only four paintings in this room as they were bigger than most of the others. There was also a large sculpture of a red dragon in the middle, wings spread so that the left wall was half hidden.
On the right wall, there were three portrait paintings, all almost the length of the wall that had different trees that filled the canvas. Some of the only paintings that didn’t feature his lookalike, Akashi noted. Akashi decided to look at the large landscape painting that was on the left wall instead.
He walked towards it, passing only a couple of people on the way, and stood to observe it, confusion settling on his face again after what felt like the millionth time that night.
The painting was of the red haired man that Akashi couldn’t accept to be himself. He was sat on a bench, although you could only see half of the bench as the painting was from the perspective of someone sat next to him - so the information that went with the piece said - that was looking over at him. The man’s arms were by his sides, hands gripping the bench, and his eyebrows were drawn together as if he was in deep thought.
It seemed very familiar to Akashi, like this had actually happened to him. He thought for a while, face much like the one painted, and the memory came to him. The night Tetsuya… We were in the park and… Akashi’s eyes widened.
Who was this person who seemed to know him, and paint all of his memories, even if he might not know he had? He needed to meet him, and soon.
Kuroko was in one of the upstairs areas, waiting until the gallery had emptied a little before he showed his face to the public, which he had to do at some point no matter how much he didn’t want to. Momoi would find him and force him out anyway.
Kuroko had never liked being in crowded places, he preferred to be alone in his apartment, painting the mystery man, but he couldn’t avoid it at his exhibitions where many people wanted to meet him and praise his work. Momoi had said that this was unavoidable if he wished to stay a popular artist.
He appreciated Momoi, although she could be a bit overbearing sometimes. When he started to paint again he’d found that he wanted to become a professional and had wanted to do so by his own hard work and determination. However, Momoi had insisted on helping him and Kuroko simply couldn’t refuse her. He was thankful to her though, without her he probably couldn’t have gotten this far which he thinks he should thank her more for.
Aomine had come to fetch Kuroko around 7:30pm, saying that if he didn’t want to fall victim to Momoi’s temper then he needed to greet the fans of his work. Kuroko knew Momoi would never use her temper on him and only saved it for Aomine, but he didn’t mention that and simply followed his taller friend downstairs.
He greeted many people, some from big businesses and some who were just ordinary people, and was given many compliments about his work.
Kuroko saw red amongst the crowd, moving along with a man he knew to be named Awashima from previous visits to his art exhibitions. The colour oddly resembled the mysterious man’s hair he often dreamt of which piqued his curiosity. He’d never seen anyone with hair as red as his, only the mysterious man, and was about to head towards him when Momoi called for him to greet someone else. He would have to find him later, he told himself.
Kuroko was exhausted when 8:30pm came around. He had been greeting people for the past hour and had completely lost sight of the red he’d seen previously. He was disappointed, he hadn’t even been able to see his face or any part of his body except his hair. He hoped that maybe the man would look like his dream man, but he knew that that was unlikely since there were many people in the world and it was improbable that the man would show up at his art exhibition.
To that thought, he sighed and entered the last room he had yet to visit. In this one, there were only four of his paintings, three of which were some of the only ones that didn’t feature the heterochromatic eyed man. Momoi had decided they would go nicely with the sculpture of the dragon that had been left there from a previous exhibition. They’d placed the largest landscape painting in there too but it was hid by the dragon, so in order to see it you would have to walk around the dragon.
He walked around the room, starting from the right and greeting the few people that were there, and moved slowly around the dragon to see if anyone was viewing his landscape piece.
He peered around one of the dragon’s wings and caught sight of red. It was the man from earlier, the man that was with Awashima. He was currently looking up at the painting, hands on his hips, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. Kuroko hadn’t seen any of his features, but now he was able to get a closer look, his build was slender but not scrawny. Kuroko could see from his position that as well as his hair, the man’s right eye was red. His facial features seemed to be a replica of the man he currently looking up at. Kuroko was willing to bet that his left eye was a yellowish-gold.
Kuroko couldn’t believe his sight.The man standing in front of him was exactly liked the man he had spent so many hours painting, had he truly found the man he wanted so badly to meet and remember? It just wasn’t possible, didn’t people spend years trying to find the people they’d lost? Somehow, luck was on Kuroko’s side tonight, after six years of wanting to know this man, he was standing right in front of him.
Kuroko was determined to find out just who this man was, so he walked over to him, butterflies filled his stomach, he was finally going to meet his mystery man and he was nervous, happy and scared all at once. What if this man was not the man he expected him to be? None of this slowed him down however. He needed to know why his mind was filled with this man, no matter how he felt, he needed to solve this mystery.
He stopped when he was near the man, who hadn’t noticed his presence, taking a deep breath to prepare himself for the moment he’d waited so many years for.
“Excuse me,” Akashi heard a voice say, one that sounded oddly… Familiar. “I am the artist who created this work. I was wondering if I could talk to you.”
“Ah, just the person I wanted to se-” Akashi said as he turned to look at the artist, freezing when he saw his appearance. He couldn’t seem to move nor speak. The person in front of him.. No… No it can’t be… No, he’s dead… He should be dead… This is a dream isn’t it? Akashi thought, trying work out what was happening. The blue hair, the perfect eyes, everything I loved about him, it’s all there… How is this possible? He didn’t have a twin...
Akashi didn’t know how long he’d not moved for, but before he knew it, he was being led by the wrist outside to a more secluded area by the artist. When they’d stopped moving, a hand was on his forehead and worried eyes were looking into his. “I’m sorry for the intimate contact, but are you alright? You look much paler than you were a moment ago…”
“T-Tetsuya? K-Kuroko Tetsuya?” Akashi half choked out, ignoring what he’d been asked. Kuroko then moved his hand away and took a step back. How could I possibly be alright?! Akashi thought. He was having a hard time finding his voice and getting his head straight. Was he seeing a ghost? He didn’t need to ask to know this was him. His hair, his eyes, the small, fragile look body. Everything about this man resembled him. The man he believed to be dead for six years. The man he’d spent six years wishing he could hold again. The man he loved more than anybody that was taken away from him by this godforsaken city.
“Ah… Yes, that’s me, but who are you?” Kuroko asked, causing Akashi’s eyes to widen more and his mouth to open a little. Kuroko didn’t know who he was? This had to be a dream. Kuroko took a deep breath. “You see, I was in an accident six years ago and I can’t seem to remember anything before that,” Kuroko said with a pained expression. He took a moment while waiting for Akashi to digest this information. “This might sound odd, but I keep seeing you in my dreams... Every night, you’re there even if only for a second. I thought that maybe you might’ve been important to me since my mind seems to want me to remember you. The mind never truly forgets, after all…” He paused for a moment, seeming to be in thought about what he was going to say next. “I’m sorry for not being able to remember you. If it’s alright with you, I would like to know how we know each other... And anything else you can tell me...” Kuroko finished, never taking his eyes away from Akashi’s face.
It was hard to take all of this in. Kuroko was alive, but he couldn’t remember Akashi… How was he supposed to take this? How could he possibly control himself? Akashi didn’t know, but he had to because he couldn’t just lose it in front of the person he hadn’t seen for six years and scare him off. He looked at Kuroko for a moment, not truly believing he was there. Was this some kind of joke?
He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself, and looked Kuroko in the eyes. How do you tell someone that they were in a relationship with you for three years and you had been lead to believe they were dead?
“I’m Akashi. Akashi Seijuro.” He breathed out. This was definitely going to be hard. He needed a moment to gather his thoughts. “I’m sorry, this might take me a while…” He said, closing his eyes for a moment. He couldn’t lose control of himself.
“Please, take your time Akashi-kun.” Kuroko replied. Oh, that hurt. I’ve not heard that name being used for a while… Akashi thought, turning away from Kuroko. It made Akashi want to run to him, to kiss him, to touch him to watch him disappear because this was obviously a dream, right? He’d wake up soon, alone in his room, like he had done every day for the past six years. He hoped it wasn’t though.
Kuroko was apparently in front of him, alive, not remembering a thing about him, but he dreamt about him? Surely that meant he remembered him somehow… If he just explained some things, like how they’d met and their life before, maybe he’d remember?
“We-” Akashi began, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. He had to do this. He’d spent too many nights alone, longing for Kuroko’s warmth that never came. He breathed out, “We were in a relationship for 3 years.” At the revelation, Kuroko’s eyes widened slightly. Akashi continued, “We met in our first year at university, you needed a model for an art project and you just so happened to bump into me on your way to meet a friend…”
-
“I’m very sorry.” Akashi said to the boy who was helping to pick up his papers and what looked to be art supplies. They were currently scattered around the corridor as Akashi had been too busy concentrating on the debate taking place in his next class that he didn’t see the blue haired boy coming from the other way, who also happened to be too deep in thought to notice Akashi, and the two had collided, resulting in Akashi’s work and the boy’s art supplies spreading around the corridor.
“There’s no need to apologize, I should have been concentrating on where I was going.”.” the boy replied. Akashi didn’t know who he was, he’d never seen him before. People generally only knew others from their chosen courses anyway and by the looks of it, this stranger definitely did not take studies in business.
The boy handed Akashi his work and proceeded to put his art supplies away which Akashi helped with. “I should also have paid attention to my surroundings. Thank you for helping me, uh…”
“Kuroko Tetsuya,” the boy now known as Kuroko said, bowing then looking up at Akashi, his face displaying a blank expression.
“Ah, thank you Kuroko-san, I’m Akashi Seijuro.” Akashi replied, bowing slightly as Kuroko had. Kuroko was a bit smaller than Akashi, about four or five centimeters Akashi guessed. He had medium length blue hair and blue eyes that Akashi could only describe as the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. The blank expression never left his face though.
“Thank you too Akashi-san.” Akashi was about to leave after that, but Kuroko seemed to be staring at him which made him stay. He was about to ask what the problem was when Kuroko suddenly asked, “Excuse me for being blunt Akashi-san, but I have just been set a project in my art class that involves drawing someone else, which is why I was so deep in thought earlier, and after observing you for a moment I believe that you would be perfect for the job.”
Akashi, after little thought, agreed, earning a small smile from the art student, which caused the red head to smile back. Akashi had praised Kuroko’s bluntness many times.
-
“You told me once that you loved that first smile you saw, you always complimented my smile…” Akashi had to stop for a moment to regain his composure. Remembering so much was making it hard to continue. But he had to, he needed to do this for Kuroko, so he could remember.
After taking a deep breath once more, Akashi continued.
“We became quite close from then on. We invited each other out every weekend, going to the movies, restaurants, anything we could think of. We started our relationship in the second year of university…”
-
They were walking through the local park late one Sunday evening, which had become a regular occurrence for them, a small chilly breeze blew around them. They’d been silent for a while now, both lost in their own thoughts when Kuroko’s voice broke the silence.
“Akashi-kun, I’d like to sit on a bench, I’m feeling a bit tired.” He said, walking towards the closest bench he could find. Akashi followed, sitting close to Kuroko until their shoulders were brushing against each other. Akashi had become quite close to Kuroko over the year and he had come to accept that he felt feelings stronger than what he should feel towards a friend. He wondered if it would be appropriate the wrap an arm around the smaller boy.
He had contemplated telling Kuroko about how he felt many times but he always grew too insecure about how the other would react and all plans to admit had been dropped.
As they sat there for a while, Akashi noticed that Kuroko had turned to look at him, he wasn’t sure how long he’d been sat like that though, he’d not even heard or felt him move. A slight blush had worked its way onto Kuroko’s cheeks, Akashi saw, but he simply blamed that on the cold breeze that had gotten stronger since they’d sat down.
Akashi did not expect Kuroko to say what he did next, but then again, Kuroko did tend to exceed his expectations.
“Akashi-kun…” Kuroko started, eyes looking straight into Akashi’s which caused the red head’s heart to increase. “I have thought about this for a while now, but I like you, more than what friends should like their friends.”
“What…?” Akashi replied, blinking in confusion. His mind didn’t get chance to process what he’d heard as Kuroko had stood up and was leaning in front of a very confused Akashi, moving his face forward until his lips met Akashi’s, who was now fully aware of what was happening. Akashi stood up, his hands gripping Kuroko’s shoulders, his lips never leaving Kuroko’s.
Kuroko wrapped his arms around Akashi’s neck, tiptoeing slightly, whilst Akashi had moved his arms to wrap around Kuroko’s waist. The kiss wasn’t deep and it was kind of messy due to inexperience, but they pulled apart after a while, blush very apparent on Kuroko’s cheeks which caused Akashi to smirk. This only deepened Kuroko’s blushing face more and had them both smiling warmly at each other.
This was the first kiss they’d shared and it definitely wouldn’t be the last, Akashi thought. Again, Akashi had praised Kuroko’s bluntness.
-
“We went on many dates after that, spent lots of time at my apartment which you eventually moved into in our third year at university.” he laughed a bit then whilst saying, “You stubbornly refused to move in until I said you could pay half towards the bills,” then Akashi smiled a little, “But I knew you needed the money for your art, so I just put the money back into your savings anyway. You got mad about that…
“We graduated university together and I started working for my father’s company and you started doing commissions for people. I’d come home everyday and you’d be working on a new art piece, I always loved watching you because you looked so happy and I never wanted to disturb that. You’d paint for hours and I had to remind you to take breaks because you were so busy concentrating you’d forget the time… I… Really loved the life we had.”
He looked away from Kuroko at this point, hating what he was going to have to tell him next.
“You really wanted to visit France to paint the landmarks here, you talked about doing it all the time, and you decided to go one day. I couldn’t come because of work so you went alone for two weeks. I thought that they were the loneliest two weeks of my life… On the day you were coming back, you texted me saying you’d be at the airport in 20 minutes to aboard the plane to come home, back to Japan, but…” A lump had worked it’s way into Akashi’s throat and his vision was becoming blurry, tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. He hadn’t spoken about this in six years. How was he supposed to control his emotions? Especially when Kuroko stood there, sadness apparent on his face, eyes wide and looking close to tears himself, even though he couldn’t remember.
“I found out that your train had crashed and I-I tried to call you, and when you didn’t answer I panicked and called everyone I could think of to see if you had survived. But I was told that your body hadn’t been found and that… You had been presumed dead…” Akashi’s voice dropped into a whisper, “I had been led to believe that you were dead for six years...”
Akashi was looking at the floor now, staring at the dark marks on the concrete that had been created from the tears Akashi could no longer hold in. He didn't know how Kuroko had reacted to that last statement. It was all too much for him. Kuroko had always said how strong Akashi was, but right now he felt so weak he could collapse.
He wanted the past six years to have been a dream. He could wake up with Kuroko in his arms, kiss his forehead and tell him it was time for breakfast and Kuroko would grumble ‘just five more minutes Akashi-kun’. Akashi would chuckle and they’d lie in bed for a moment longer, just enjoying each other’s presence.
He wanted to go back to the life he enjoyed. The one where he gladly woke up in the morning because he knew Kuroko would be there. The one where he looked forward to coming home after work because he knew Kuroko would be there. The one where Kuroko had been alive and remembered who he was. Not the lifeless time of the past six years he could remember.
Akashi didn’t know how long he’d been looking at the floor for, trying to hold back tears miserably, but suddenly he felt arms slowly being wrapped around his waist and a head placed against his chest.
“I’m sorry if this is sudden, Akashi-kun, but I felt I had too… It seemed natural to me. I… Did this without thinking.” Kuroko said, turning to look up at Akashi but not letting go. Akashi was in shock for a moment, not fully registering what had happened, and looked into Kuroko’s eyes.
The moment it hit him that Kuroko was truly alive, hugging him like he used to when he came home, he wrapped his arms tightly around Kuroko’s small frame, burying his face in Kuroko’s shoulder. He wasn’t aware of when he started crying, but as soon as he started he couldn’t stop. Tetsuya… Is alive… He’s here… He’s so...
“You’re so warm,” Akashi commented, his voice was barely understandable due to him crying, “I-I never thought I’d feel this warmth again,” he said through a choked whisper. “I thought I’d lost you, I thought that everything I loved was gone, I never imagined that I-” would ever have colour in my life again, Akashi wanted to say but couldn’t manage it.
Kuroko was truly alive. It wasn’t a dream. He was here, it wasn’t his imagination or a hallucination, he was in Akashi’s arms and he was well.
“I want to know you again, Akashi-kun,” Kuroko said after a few moments of silence, looking up at again, causing Akashi, whose eyes were still full of tears and had gone puffy and red, to lift his head and look back at him. Kuroko gave him the smile Akashi thought he’d only be able to see again in his dreams. He continued. “The doctors never expected me remember anything, but... The things you’ve told me about… I dreamed them. All of them. It felt so real… So I painted them. I could never hear your voice, but I saw everything. I wanted so badly to hear you. I fell for your smile. It was always my favourite thing about you… I’ve wished to meet you for so long.”
So he really did remember me… He does tend to exceed expectations after all. Akashi thought, smiling to himself despite the tears that threatened to spill again.
“Well,” Akashi said, breathing in and out once to try and make his voice steady, smile growing a little. “We could start again, if you want that. From the beginning, so you have a chance to know me again.”
“I would like that, Akashi-kun.” Kuroko replied, his eyes glistened, the perfect smile still on his face. Kuroko tiptoed slightly to bring his lips to meet Akashi’s, who was again surprised at Kuroko’s actions.
Once he’d regained his composure once more, Akashi leaned down to meet Kuroko’s lips, lifting his head again after a few moments to stare into Kuroko’s eyes.
Akashi didn’t care if he had to start from the beginning again, he had gotten back the warmth he’d been missing for so long, and no matter how long it took he would make sure that warmth became permanent, and this time he wouldn’t let the cold get to him so easily.