Chapter Text
Beth was walking down the corridor with her coat in one hand and bag in the other. She was exhausted, the whole night of working and testing her theories with how her job could help with the ranch made her tired. She had trouble working at her office, she kept staring at the new glass reminding herself of how Rip broke the other into pieces to save her. Beth didn't want to admit it, but she wasn't so tough anymore and even if the bruises faded away the scars inside of her were brighter than ever before. She was trying to keep it a secret but it was harder when all the loud noises and men walking into her office made her jump on her seat.
The house was quiet except for the soft noises of the vacuum cleaner. Beth always wondered how her dad was able to keep it together after her mom died. She remembered the house was always clean, they had food and sometimes even their dad's attention. Beth's eyes were barely open when she reached her bedroom, the soft light came through the curtains when she heard noises coming from the room she was in. She was almost sure it was Jamie's prank, a joke that he thought will make her mad or piss her off letting him win when at once she walked towards her bed, seeing a little girl sitting on the floor of her bedroom.
"Hey," she said, making the girl look at her, "who are you?" Beth asked, looking around.
"My name is Rosie," she smiled, "you're pretty, what's your name?" she said with her blue eyes focused on Beth.
"My name is Bethany, but everyone calls me Beth,"
"Your name is pretty too," the girl smiled.
"What are you doing here?" Beth asked, tilting her head.
"Playing with my horse, his name is Chestnut, look," she handed her the stuffed toy.
"He's very nice," Beth said without touching the toy, "where's your mom?"
"In heaven, where's yours?" Rosie asked quickly.
"In heaven too," Beth said, hoping it was true.
"You want to play with me?" the girl asked, her big blue eyes focused on Beth.
"I'd love to but I'm tired and you still didn't say what are you doing here," Beth smiled.
Beth looked at the girl, she was about five, maybe six years old with icy blue eyes and blond hair. Rosie reminded her a bit of herself when she was her age. She was wearing a pink dress, too big for her as Beth noticed. She was holding the stuffy horse in one hand and was playing with Beth's lipstick with the other when at once the door opened letting the older lady in.
"Rose!" she raised her voice, "I told you, you can't be here," she lifted the girl, "I'm very sorry miss Dutton. It won't happen again," the lady apologized.
"First, don't call me miss, second, is she yours?" Beth asked, leaving the coat on the bed.
"Sort of," the lady said, "I'm taking care of her while her father is away,"
"Where's he?" Beth asked, looking at the little girl.
"Well," the lady looked away, "he's...in jail,"
"He's your son?"
"No, I knew her mother and since the father is away...anyway, I'm so sorry that she interrupted you," the lady said, "Rose come here,"
"I want to stay with Beth, she's pretty," Rosie looked at Beth, "can I visit you some time?"
"Rose," the lady took little girl hand, "I told you not to interrupt or play with things that aren't yours,"
Beth was observing the girl when she was leaving her room. She sat on the bed and hid her face, it was the longest day or night she had ever had and all she wanted was sleep. Beth lay on the bed, throwing the boots on the floor when her head hit the pillow. She thought it will be easy, she was tired as hell, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw Rosie, her little stuffed horse, and big blue eyes. Beth's look stuck on the ceiling, she thought it won't find her, the urge to have a child, to take care of someone, to love someone, and to be loved back, but Rosie woke up to all of those feelings. Beth shook her head and turned in her bed, it was stupid to feel all of this to the girl who she met five minutes ago. She closed her eyes, her hand fixing on the sheets when she wrapped herself in fresh covers, she tried to push the feelings, the thoughts that ran through her mind, and after a moment she drifted off to sleep.
******
She slept for ten hours. Ten full hours which made her feel even more tired. Beth put the shirt and jeans on before walking down the stairs. She wasn't even hungry but knew her father would want to have her around during breakfast, even if it will be just a brief moment. Beth looked at the empty table, except her father who sat in his usual spot, the table seemed even colder than normal.
"Morning dad," she said, kissing his forehead, before sitting by the table.
"Good morning sweetheart," he answered, looking at her, "long day at the office?" he asked.
"I look that bad?" Beth looked at him with a smile.
"No, just…"
"I worked all night and a bit of a morning, long day indeed," she said, sipping her black coffee.
"Maria didn't let you sleep?" he asked, taking a bite of his food.
"Maria?" Beth tilted her head.
"Lady who cleans, I told her to start with your room, didn't know when you'll be back, she comes here four times a week,"
"Never saw her before," she smiled, "she didn't bother me," Beth's eyes focused on the spot in front of her.
"Sweetheart?" John asked, placing his hand on hers, "I know, uhm, that before we...that you didn't want to…" he took a deep breath, "if something bothers you, you can always come to me," he locked his gaze with hers.
"I know daddy," she gave him a small smile, "everything's good,"
"Maybe you should...should spend some time with Rip?"
"Maybe I'll," she said, standing up.
Beth's hand rested on her father's arm, she squeezed it gently, before walking out of the dining room. She put her favorite sweater on and opened the door, the colder air hit her face when her sight focused on the sun. Her father was right, she needed Rip, his presence always doing miracles in her life. Beth wrapped hands around herself and walked towards Rip's house, the warmth from the sun rays tickling her face. She felt weird like her feelings were stuck inside and wanted to come out, but Beth knew they had to be caged, never released. She felt the pain wrapped around her heart, the fact she can't give Rip and herself a child was only her fault, hers and Jamie who took the decision out of her hands. She walked slowly, enjoying the sun, she smiled at the view of him sitting on the porch.
"Hey baby," she said softly, walking up the stairs.
"Morning sweetheart," he smiled, waiting for her to walk to him.
Beth straddled his lap, she wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him closer, her lips brushed over his, her fingers tangled into his hair pulling it softly when the moan escaped Rip's lips. She needed him, but this time wasn't about sex. She pulled away, hiding her face in the crook of his neck when his fingers were brushing over her back.
"Can we stay like this for a moment?" Beth whispered, "just a few minutes,"
"We can stay like this as long as you want, baby," he answered, kissing her hair, "something happened?"
"Yes and no," she answered, "I don't...I don't want to talk…about it," she closed her eyes, letting the tears fall.
Rip knew her, he knew every inch of her body, every cell in his body was screaming something was wrong. That the love of his life was suffering in silence and he couldn't do anything about it made him mad. He pulled her closer, his arms wrapped around her like a shield, a shield that wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt her. He waited for her to lift her sight, patiently observing the little drops falling from her eyes, drops that broke his heart with every fall.
"Can we spend the evening together?" she finally asked, lifting her sight.
"Of course," he caressed her hair, looking into her eyes, "Beth…"
"Hmm…" she murmured.
"I love you, no matter what…." Rip's hand rested on her cheek.
"I love you too, baby," she smiled, kissing him softly.
"Now," Rip smiled, lifting himself with Beth in his arms, causing her to giggle, "both of us need a little rest," he added, kissing the tip of her nose.
After a moment Beth was laying in Rip's bed, waiting for him to join her. She was observing him, when he was taking off his shirt and later hat, causing her to smile at the view of his strong body. Beth knows someday he will leave, he will be tired of the chaos of her life and the fact she will be unable to give him family, to give him everything he deserves since he got to the ranch. At once the mattress dipped under his weight, his lips pressed to her neck, making her body shiver. He wrapped his hand around her, pulling her closer and his other hand slipped under her head.
"I could fall asleep like that every night," he said with a smile.
"You would have enough of it after a month," she laughed, "I move a lot in bed," she added.
"I like when you move," he whispered, kissing her neck.
"Not in that way," she turned around to face him.
"I like all the ways honey," Rip said, rolling her on her back.
Rip's lips moved from her ear to neck, nipping on the soft skin. His hand traveled up and down her tight before slipping under her shirt, stopping by the round flesh of her breasts, squeezing them gently. Beth felt his hard cock pressed to her tight, causing her eyes to close. She took a deep breath, trying to control her scare. Beth knew he wouldn't hurt her, that he would never treat her like those men, but since the attack, Beth's senses were on the edge. She jumped at the loud noises, didn't want to be touched without warning, and most of all she kept repeating the attack in her head. She crossed the line. She pushed that man to the limit and she was alive only because of Rip.
At once she heard the sound of the opening zipper, she opened her eyes wilder when he brushed the tip of his cock over her panties, his heavy breath tickling her ear. Beth wanted to scream, to tell him, no but nothing came out of her mouth. Her hands fixed on his chest, trying to push him off.
"Rip" she managed to whisper, "please, stop," she added, "I don't want to," her eyes became glassy when her chest rose up and down in furious pace.
"Baby," Rip immediately looked up at her, pulling away.
"I'm sorry," she looked at him, "I…" she closed her eyes for a moment, "I'll go," she slid her feet on the floor, standing up.
Beth quickly looked around to find her clothes. She was gathering her things with shaky hands, trying not to look at Rip. She knew she disappointed him, the relationship was about sex too, about feeling good and she couldn't give it to him, not now, not when she was afraid of being hurt. She was looking for her shoes when she felt him behind her, his hand gently brushing over her arm.
"Baby," he repeated, "stop for a moment hmm," he added, turning her to face him.
"I'll go home," she said, looking away.
"Beth," he said softly, "did that man," his jaw clenched, "did I come too late? Did he…" Rip couldn't say the word out loud.
"No," she shook her head, "but he wanted and I...I keep thinking about what could happen and I don't want to….I can't have sex with you tonight and I'm sorry," her breath hitched.
"You think we're here just for sex? Baby," her pulled her into a hug, "I love you, and I would kill him twice if he would hurt you like that, I will kill every guy who will try to hurt you, Beth," he lifted her chin.
"I don't want to go but I can't give you what you want tonight," she took a step back.
"I just want you," he said, taking clothes from her hands, "stay, I won't touch you if you wouldn't want to,"
Rip took her hand in his, kissing it gently before pulling her behind him to the bedroom. He let her climb on the bed before joining her. Rip didn't want to scare her, giving her time to calm down, before she pulled herself a bit closer to him, her face hid in the crook of his neck when he lifted his palm to caressed her hair, softly whispering sweet nothings to her ear. Beth smiled at the way he talked to her, his hand resting on her back, running his fingers up and down before her eyes closed, the breath became steady and soon she drifted off to sleep, with Rip by her side.