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Sometimes, Tamaki really does wonder if people are deliberately out to get him. He doesn’t usually mean it when he says it. His brain questions the idea and it feels that way but Tamaki has been dealing with his anxiety long enough now that for the most part he can sift through what is true and what his brain is saying just to get him to panic. Then certain people show up who just… really make Tamaki start to question whether it’s his anxiety talking or if he’s just seeing things for what they are.
Hadou had been one of those people originally. Unlike Mirio, Hadou had taken him a long time to warm up to. She’d just been so in-your-face and talkative that he’d found himself constantly overwhelmed just by being around her general vicinity. She’d been insistent though and over time Tamaki had found himself not only warming up to her but finding that she was actually a really interesting and considerate person. She just… didn’t understand boundaries very well. Which was fine, she was getting better about it the more time they spent together.
Another thing that Tamaki had come to know about Hadou and greatly appreciated was the fact that (like Mirio) she was the kind of person to just help without questioning it. He could ask her to order his meal for him (because that cashier seemed really irritated and Tamaki had a feeling she was going to snap at him because he had such a hard time ordering) and she’d just… do it. Hadou was full of questions but she never asks why he needs certain things, she just seems happy he’s asking.
He asks about it one time after they go to a nearby bakery and Hadou helps him order. He hadn’t even needed to ask that time, she’d just seen him freeze up and had him point to what he wanted so she could do it. Then when he’d spent the next several minutes too anxious to talk she… had just talked instead, hadn’t even mentioned his silence. Tamaki doesn’t know anyone who does that for him. Even Mirio asks him if he’s alright (not that Tamaki minds. Hadou’s way is just… different. Refreshing).
“You wouldn’t have an answer to any of my questions,” Hadou had explained, which was not the answer he thought he was going to get. She bites into her donut before continuing, smearing powdered sugar across her lips (and Tamaki is only looking there because he can’t handle eye contact, alright?), “it’s because you’re so anxious, right? I’m curious but it’s more about why the anxiety causes that sort of thing and I don’t think that’s something you could explain. It’s like asking someone why they get a headache when they’re hungry.”
It’s a line of thought Tamaki hadn’t heard before but one that makes since. He can’t even count how many times someone has asked him why he was anxious and he hadn’t been able to answer because he never knew. Even if there was a direct cause it was usually illogical and he always knew that, it’s just that knowing never made the anxious feeling go away. It doesn’t answer his true question though. “Why are you so… calm about it all? You always seem to know just what I need or you do what I ask you without even asking why.”
Hadou’s nose scrunches in confusion, “why would I ask? You know what you need better then I do and most people don’t know why certain things help them, they just do. I figure you don’t know why your anxiety makes you all quiet just like I don’t know why my brain makes it so hard to focus on things I’m not interested in.”
Tamaki doesn’t really know how to respond to that but Hadou doesn’t seem to expect him to. She just goes back to eating and after awhile she starts rambling on about one of the first years she did the work study with’s new support item. He allows himself to sink into the words, not fully listening but just appreciating them for their presence.
Hadou was originally the kind of person he purposely avoided but now Tamaki thinks she may one of the people who understands him best. He’s glad that luck has finally looked his way and he’s managed to get such a good friend (and maybe more, though Tamaki doesn’t want to push his luck. He’ll leave that thought for another day).