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Valentine's Day is a beautiful day to end your life, really.
As he stops in front of the main entrance, he realizes the first big problem.
He can't just /greet/ Chuuya like that because the most possible outcome is him not being even let inside.
So he does the most typical, film-like thing and after looking at a few of the surnames on the list, he calls Chuuya's flat.
His heart is already in his throat, but when there's a confused "Hello?" on the other side, Dazai coughs.
"Nakahara-kun?" he asks, voice trembling and way higher than his usual. "Sorry, dear, Mitsuya here... I think I lost my key but would you be so kind and open the doors? Maybe I have it in my bag, I'll look for it but--".
"Oh, of course, right away" a loud buzz is heard and Dazai strolls right inside, checking the time at his watch.
As he enters the elevator, he checks himself in the mirror. Black button-up contrasts with bandages around his neck. A red scarf is draped loosely over his shoulders.
He has to admit, he looks /nice/. Elegant even, especially with his hair styled and tucked behind his ear.
He goes right to Chuuya's doors and sighs heavily. It wasn't supposed to go like that, the whole idea is so stupid and he still doesn't even know if Chuuya doesn't have plans himself, but that's not the case now. He knocks.
"Mitsuya-san?" Chuuya freezes, realizing who is standing in front of him, but after a moment there's a well-known frown forming on his face. "The fuck are you doing here, mackerel?" and before Dazai can answer, there's another question. "And who the fuck gave you my address?".
"Your friends sell you for a very small price, you know" he chimes in, and as the doors are dangerously near to being closed again, he moves his foot, blocking them. Not without a painful grimace, because Chuuya does not stop pushing.
"Look I-- We don't have much time, chibi" at that, Chuuya rolls his eyes and lets Dazai enter the spacious flat.
"What do you mean?".
Dazai looks at his watch again and nearly /whines/.
"Chibi, I promise I will explain later. But now we /do not have time/, okay? Get dressed and come with me".
To Dazai's horror, Chuuya only quirks an eyebrow and even dares to /smile/.
"And why would I do that? Maybe I have plans already?".
"Chuuya you're in your sweatpants, I hear Markiplier's stream in the background, and knowing you, you already opened the bottle of red. So no. You do /not/ have plans tonight". It doesn't seem to make Chuuya move though, so Dazai adds: "There'll be free food and an open bar".
"Continue," Chuuya says, his interest visibly growing as Dazai speaks.
"What do you mean /continue/?! Jesus christ, Chuuya--".
"Goodnight, Mackerel" with that Chuuya turns around but there's a hand gripping his wrist and an exhausted voice saying:
"I'll pay for your uber back here" there's a long, appreciative hum before Chuuya looks at him again.
"Give me 15 minutes".
Like that Dazai is left alone, ready to explore the corridor, living room, and the kitchen. For all the nerves and coaxing chibi to come with him with no explanation, he rewards himself with a glass of the wine that he rightfully guessed is a dry red.
With the glass in his hand, he wanders into the living room. His eyes land on the coffee table with some chocolates and a lonely empty glass of wine.
His phone vibrates in his pocket with an upcoming message.
[[CURRY-MAN]] Are you already on your way?
And before he can write anything, there are two more new messages from a different contact.
[[AKIKO uwu]] you're coming right?
[[AKIKO uwu]] plz don't tell me i have to be alone here with the rest??? Dazai you know I wanted to drink???
As he's typing the response, reassuring that he's going to get shit-faced with her and with her only, he hears Chuuya clearing his throat.
"So? That's alright?" he asks, weirdly quiet compared to his normal screeching of a demon beast that Dazai is so used to from the classes they have together.
Dazai has a vague understanding that usually while attending university classes people don't dress up. Not most of them at least, and so he got used to seeing Chuuya in baggy clothes or sportswear because an energetic chibi like him had to make it to one of the sports teams on their campus.
That's why Dazai feels his jaw hitting the floor when he sees Chuuya dressed so... differently.
The red, silk shirt hugs his petite frame. On top of that, there are thin, black straps going over his chest and middle, making Dazai stare at his chest before moving a little bit higher to see a thick, black choker around his neck instead of the usual, thin one.
"If I close my eyes it's acceptable" goes a response but it lacks the usual bite to it. At that Chuuya reaches for his glass from the table. As he walks to the kitchen, Dazai is far gone trying to understand how he moves in such tight slacks and how is it possible for such a small chibi to have such a nice ass.
Chuuya comes back with his glass filled and makes a toast in the air.
"To whatever this weird night is," he says and downs it, making Dazai do the same before leaving the flat.
They're in uber, riding to the other part of the city when Chuuya finally decides to ask:
"So? What is it? Why am I even here?".
Right, maybe it's better to explain it /before/ seeing other people.
"So... you remember Oda? Or Yosano? They were with me in Dead Apple a few weeks ago...".
"A nice giant?" Dazai snorts at the comparison but nods. "Yeah, they're both too nice to be your friends but continue...".
"Okay, the thing is that he's throwing a valentine's day party. And we're going there right now".
Chuuya frowns and Dazai can see the cogs turning in his head.
"Then... why couldn't you just let me know? Maybe I would go anyway".
"It's a closed party".
"Then why the fuck am I even here then?".
"Because maybe I said that we're dating," he says it so quickly and so quietly, that Chuuya has to move closer, blinking owlishly at him, processing the information.
"You did /what/?".
"I might have been drunk and--".
"Dazai, when you're drunk you either kiss someone or blackout on the stairs god knows where you do /not/ go around telling people you date another person!".
"As if I don't know that!".
"Apparently you don't!" Chuuya shouts back and in the darkness of the car, Dazai can't tell for sure but are his cheeks red..? Chuuya pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily. "So that's why I'm here?".
Dazai smiles lightly.
"It's just one night of pretending. On top of that you have an open bar. After the party, I can throw you into an uber and that's it".
Dazai can see how he's playing with the hem of his glove as if considering his next words.
"Okay" he says when they're a few meters from their stop. He looks back at Dazai, but it seems he's still thinking about something. "I guess I can be your fake valentine for tonight".
Should it sound so bitter?
As they leave the uber, Chuuya waits for Dazai before lacing their fingers together.
"If you want to pretend, at least be good at it" goes a quiet explanation from the redhead. Dazai's eyes don't leave his face for a few agonizingly long seconds after that.
The party goes weirdly... good. As much as Dazai spends talking with Oda, Chuuya seems to get along with Yosano as they are finishing their first bottle of wine.
"You know" Yosano starts, playing with her glass and eyeing both of them. By now they're sprawled on the couch, Chuuya's back pressed to Dazai's side with a bandaged arm around his middle, idly playing with his harness. "At first when Dazai said you two are together... I was sure he was bluffing".
Chuuya chuckles and takes a big gulp of his wine, as Dazai plays off being overly dramatic and making sure Yosano understands that their relationship is very real and very serious.
Four discussions and two bottles later, Chuuya finds himself alone on the balcony. The world around him is moving a little bit too much, but it's fine. He promises himself that after finishing this cigarette, he will talk to Dazai about this promised uber.
He shouldn't push his luck anymore.
"Fake valentine for tonight" he murmurs to himself, smiling at how pathetic it sounds.
Because with every glass of wine it was more complicated. It was harder to stand Dazai's soft touches. It was harder to not chase the warmth radiating from his body and it was nearly impossible not to look at how happy Dazai seemed to be right next to him.
As if summoned by his thoughts, there he is. With the sleeves already rolled up to his elbows and hair messed up by moving around.
"Thought you vanished".
"You wish," Chuuya says, taking a long drag of his cigarette and after a moment flicking it to the ashtray. "And your wish is my command tonight so... get me this uber, will you?".
"Aww, is chibi already drunk?" he coos, stepping closer, his cheeks reddened by whiskey he's been drinking with Oda. His arm moves, circling Chuuya's waist and keeping him trapped between his chest and the railing.
"Come on, Dazai..." he huffs, looking everywhere but at his face. "Let me out".
"Hmmm... Nope" he hears and when they look back at each other, Dazai smiles. "I think that chibi is not drunk enough to be coming back home".
"Haa? What does that suppose to mean?!".
"That you're too sober! And a sober chibi is no fun, even if he tries to pretend to be my date!".
"I'm doing a great job at that, mackerel!".
He hates how close he still is. Hates how with his every move they're closer, feeling his breath on his ear when he asks:
"Oh really?".
Chuuya grabs his shirt, pulling him lower, cheeks reddening more from anger than anything else.
"Yeah, really".
"I think you can try harder... I don't know if everyone believes us..." he muses, but Chuuya's eyes are already drawn to his lips.
And if Dazai says something else, Chuuya doesn't hear him. Nor does he let him speak further, crashing their lips together in a sudden kiss.
Did he... Did he just..?
Blinking, he lets go of Dazai's shirt, petrified. And with every passing second in which Dazai doesn't respond, he feels worse.
"I... I didn't mean to... Just call me an uber".
Instead of that, Dazai takes hold of Chuuya's chin and turns his face back to him.
"You're not going anywhere, stupid" he blurts out before kissing him back and not letting him go. Chuuya murmurs something under his breath, but it's being swallowed by another longer kiss and he melts right into it. "You have no idea how much I wanted to do this since we arrived here...".
His hands come back, grabbing black material as he pulls him closer. With a broken sigh, he parts his lips, letting Dazai's tongue dart inside.
Chuuya knows he's better than that. Better than being kissed stupid on the balcony where everyone can see them if they as much as a step closer to the glass doors, but he can't help it. He doesn't seem to mind the way Dazai is gripping his hips now instead of the railing, how his second hand is still on his cheek, angling him to deepen the kiss until Chuuya is shivering and out of breath.
He's better than that, sure, but not when it's Dazai.
Not when his lips are on his jaw and then on his neck, nipping at the skin right above the choker. Not when his mind is foggy with need and a weird sense of victory because... /finally/ it feels real.
And if they take an uber later back to Chuuya's flat, make out in the elevator, and undress with trembling hands and way too soft kisses in Chuuya's bedroom...
all of that feels genuine.
Valentine's Day is a beautiful day to end your life, yes.
But it's even better to start it all over again.