Work Text:
“Congrats on your performance. You were super cool out there. That Ina Bauer? Ten out of ten.”
“Haha, thanks… but I didn’t earn any medals and you know it-”
“So what, man? You did amazing and the scores don’t really define whether you did good or bad… you know. ”
A chuckle was heard at the other side of the line. “Yeah. I know,” and then a yawn. “Thanks for calling… I guess,” and then another chuckle.
“No problem, bud. I couldn’t watch it all on time, but now that I did I can perfectly say that I’ll end up asking you for an autograph at this point,” he joked. Jun groaned, somewhat near a cringing noise.
“Don’t be so corny, oh my god.”
That only made Conrad laugh even louder.
The call ended up being a bit longer than he expected it to be, but when they both hung up, Conrad suddenly felt… like something was missing inside him. He had the urge to call again, just to ask Jun about his day one more time and listen to all the kinds of gossip he already heard a while ago; just to feel him closer.
I’m in Toronto and I got this view
But I might as well be in a hotel room, yeah.
It doesn’t matter ’cause I’m so consumed
Spending all my nights reading texts from you
Jun wouldn’t answer any texts or calls for the following days and Conrad knew that. These were tough days, filled with televised interviews, press conferences, variety show invitations and all the Korean media shenanigans he heard about. Jun would probably finish his daily schedule in the dead of the night, tired and only hoping to sleep before waking up early again. So, out of consideration, Conrad didn’t send him any texts, conforming himself with replaying his programs and rereading some of their previous conversations.
Leaving Beijing atm
I’ll be staying by Seoul 4 now
[23:56]
yeah i remember that
have fun and rest well
u did good, once again
:)
[23:58]
Don’t miss me too much lolol
[23:58]
nah fam we’re good here
have a nice flight
amelia says hi btw
[23:59]
Thanks to you two
Fighting
[00:00]
That, and the call they had, were their last conversations. It has been a week and a half already and between training, uni and constant news from Brian and Tracy, Conrad felt as if time had ralentized too much.
“Man, it’s really visible when Jun isn’t here,” Bruce sighed, sipping from his coffee as they rested outside of TCC.
“Do you think he misses us?” Corey asked.
“Nah, dude,” Joseph intervened, elbowing Conrad. “He’s literally chitchatting with the National stars right now as we speak. Well, he must be asleep as in right now, but you know the drill. Must be tough to be the pride and honor of a whole country along with Miss Kim.”
Conrad wanted to reply that actually, there were lots of Korean skaters that were very famous and acclaimed by their people, but it was useless. Joseph was right. Along with Yuna Kim, he probably was the most resonated big name in the country, especially around girls who not only fawned over his skills but his good looks. Somehow.
So he just sighed idly, checking his phone for texts that would never come. “I suppose.”
Bruce and Corey exchanged glances, and the latter spoke up. “Yo, Conrad. Why are you so gloomy these days? Are you really that lonely?” he joked, snickering. “Despite Jun not being here, we are here, man.”
“It’s just…” Conrad frowned. “I can say, uh, that I miss… him…? But nevermind,” he backpedaled. “I wouldn’t send him any texts right now. He must be tired, busy and focused on spending time with his friends and family, right?”
Right?
Oh, I’m good at keeping my distance
I know that you're the feeling I’m missing
“Haha, I cannot be this inconsiderate with him. You guys too. Don’t pester him, okay?”
Bruce huffed. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that. At least we embrace his absence fully, y’know?”
“Man, you’re getting annoying,” Joseph snorted. “Just call him if you miss him that much! What are the odds?”
“I will not be the one who packs up his schedule even more-”
“But we are paying the price for your stupid pining,” Corey grunted. “You two roast each other on a daily basis yet never are really separated.”
“We-”
“Don’t you dare say you two aren’t that close, Orzel, or I swear I’ll throw my newest skates to your fucking face.”
You know that I hate to admit it
But everything means nothing if I can’t have you.
Almost a month in, and besides the occasional sponsor thank you post or a selfie, Jun hasn’t given any life signals and Conrad firmly believes that he’ll start scratching the walls at this point. First of all, yes . Yes, yes, he missed his friend. Conrad missed their bickering, Jun’s dramatic antics yet his laid-back personality, his fierceness on the ice, his adorable ways to overcome mistakes, and somehow specific things like his fluffy hair, his sparkly eyes, his round nose and his full smile.
Second of all, Jun was looking amazing in the newest photoshoots he had participated in, and he didn’t have the right to look stupidly cute on his casual selfie posts, with generic yet grateful long captions (seriously, he was almost like a k-pop idol at this point) but with breathtaking landscapes of Seoul at nightfall, a simple picture of him wearing a chic scarf, or something between those lines. Conrad had almost given in thrice to comment on his posts, only to step back since he knew Jun wouldn’t notice that specific notification in the middle of the flood of others’, and that if he did, he wouldn’t have time to even reply to it. So, lost cause.
And joining these two facts together, made it almost impossible for Conrad to stay put knowing that his friend was living his best life and he was dying of curiosity and, well, nostalgia. But just a little!
Amelia walked in, probably to steal his snacks, but then she rubbed her face in exasperation. Conrad making hopeful eyes at his phone as if telepathically asking for answers was a pathetic sight.
“Stop it already. Text him.”
“What?” Conrad frowned. “No.”
“Why not?”
“He must be busy right now. Probably spending time with his family.”
“You won’t know unless you ask him. You know that, right?”
Conrad rolled his eyes. “Yes. Don’t lecture me. I just care about my friends, that's all.”
“Why are you so stubborn with your own feelings?” Amelia held her head with her hands after stealing some chips, and glared at him. “If anything ever happens between you two it’ll be a miracle,” she accused, frowning.
Conrad felt his heart sinking into his stomach. “What did you just say?”
“Your ogling at him during training and during these days with his programs isn’t subtle, brother. Please talk to him before I start pulling my hair out in frustration,” the younger girl deadpanned, stealing a fistful of chips before leaving for her room.
In that silence, Conrad looked at his phone and checked the time. Ten in the evening… Jun would’ve started his schedule already as it was morning over there. The blond felt too nervous to directly text him, what should he even say? His sister was… uh, well, right. He missed Jun an abnormal amount. How could he even handle this? Hey, Jun, how’s your morning going? Too casual. Hey dude, what’s up in there? Who was he, a romcom jock? Good morning Jun, have you slept well these days? No, no, no. He wasn’t his boyfriend to ask such cheesy questions! How did people greet their most treasured person without making a mess of themselves and keeping it natural in the process?
I'm so sorry that my timing's off
But I can't move on if we're still gonna talk
You won’t know unless you ask him, the insufferable voice of his younger sister screamed at him inside his head. And Conrad hated it when she was right. She was too smug.
He groaned loudly. Fuck it.
hey jun
gm
[22:35]
He wanted to smash his head against the wall. Too indifferent? This was too hard. Yet he couldn’t even delete the messages, because a ring made him immediately check his phone. Ah, he had replied. Almost immediately.
Ah, Conrad
Good morning! :D
What a surprise
[22:35]
well yeah lmao idk if you’re busy rn
sorry in advance
[22:36]
Oh no no no
I was omw to get coffee
It’s fine
[22:37]
ohh i see
no schedule for today?
[22:37]
Nope! Just hanging out with my family
I’ll probs skate by a nearby rink later so
Why the question?
[22:38]
Conrad inhaled. Time for the truth.
oh nothing big rlly
i didn’t want to bother u these days
yknow busy days and no time for anything
besides you’re w your family
don’t wanna interrupt lol
[22:40]
There was no reply yet and Conrad was trembling. Did he say something too stupid? Did he expose his feelings? Or on the other side, did he come off as arrogant? This wasn’t easy by any means, but a small voice inside his mind was telling him to continue. Halfway made things were upsetting, and a half-assed friendship would always make him feel sort of empty. He wanted to tell Jun that he missed him. But he was afraid. Afraid that his reaching out was met with a rejection. How could he get any closer than what he already was?
He sighed and kept on typing.
but in all honesty uh
the guys have been missing you like
A Lot
and i miss you too
ikik it’s kinda selfish bc you’re there w your fam and all
but
yeah, i miss you jun
please stay safe and idk drink water and stay warm ig
don’t catch colds!! or i’ll personally kill u when u come back
the guys say your absence is very palpable
and i think so too
skating is fun and all, but,,, it’s fun when you’re there
it’s not the same when the locker near me is perpetually closed yknow
neither it’s the same without your quads and your dramatic ass by the rink
nothing is the same actually yeah scratch all i’ve rambled
come back soon okay
i miss you
[22:45]
Oh
[22:50]
ah sorry for spamming
welp
[22:50]
No no
It’s okay Conrad
I just didn’t expect all that lol
[22:51]
sorry if it seems weird
i know you’ll come back it’s childish from me
but i don’t know man
i can’t help this
[22:53]
Hehe
You’re a really kind person
You should show that vulnerability more often
It’s not weird, thank you for telling me
At first I thought that training got so harsh that you wouldn’t pick up your phone so I didn’t dare text you
[22:54]
???????????
jun You’re the one who’s busy
so I shouldn’t be idk pestering you
or taking your time
[22:55]
Huh? No, Conrad
I’ll always have time for you
[22:55]
Conrad rolled over himself, looking at the ceiling with his eyes widely open. He didn’t expect things to go further than oh , thanks, but I gotta go now from Jun’s part. But now they’re having a heart to heart conversation he didn’t sign up for, yet couldn’t stay away from. The feeling of wanting to crush Jun in his arms was burning him from the inside out. It was getting insanely obvious.
Is it wrong for me to not want half?
I want all of you, all the strings attached
u sure about that? i mean
it’s okay if you don’t have time yknow
we’ll just wait
[22:58]
Jeez Conrad
Read what I sent you again
[23:00]
okay i get it okay okay
just asking lmao
i’m just embarrassed to say this
[23:01]
Yeah I know
But I’ll remind you then ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ
That you’ll always be here with me
You’re my friend, and I cherish you
I also miss you, a lot
It’s not the same without your snarky remarks and your carelessness
So when I go back you better spoil me ψ(｀∇´)ψ
[23:03]
LMAO so am i going to be your butler or sumn
[23:03]
No, but treat me to ice cream and lunch for a week
And extra marathoning movies
And extra night snacks after training
Promise?
Pretty please?
[23:05]
Conrad wanted to scream. He closed his eyes to picture it, because he could feel Jun’s puppy eyes and crescent moon smile across the screen. If the boy were right in front of him, Conrad would have definitely kissed him right there. Cupping his face, pecking his nose and then his rose-colored lips, getting drunk in his cologne scent and the texture of softly biting Jun’s lower lip, tasting the feeling and mind going hazy at the faint noises the boy would make, his blush adorning his features—
He opened his eyes, realization written all over his shocked face; pupils blown wide and furious blushing from his ears to his neck, insanely quick heartbeat rate and wanting to cross the world just to see a glimpse of—
sure thing
so you better come back safely and give your all during training
[23:09]
Hehehe will do
Thank you for talking to me
I'll text you at night here (｢`･ω･)｢
[23:10]
okay
have a nice day jun
[23:11]
Good night Conrad!!
Sweet dreams
[23:11]
He found himself smiling.
“Sure,” he whispered to the phone in awe. “Can’t wait for you to come back.”
Is it too late to tell you that
Everything means nothing if I can't have you?