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“Now! Prepare to- oh shit!” I managed to catch the keys that came flying out of nowhere. “Really? Again.”
“Are you not gonna kill me?” The hero below me asked after a moment.
“Oh no I will, just give me a sec. My wife lost her keys so I got to call her now.” I dragged my phone out of my pocket.
“Yo! Um, I have your keys.” I said jangling them. The hero was trying to crawl away and I stomped on their leg. From the amount of snap crackle and popping that came from it, I’m pretty sure I shattered it.
“Yeah, thanks. But guess what of yours I have!” I remembered that sometimes throwing things out of sight can count as losing something, and I had thrown a lot of things in this fight. “Here’s a hint, if someone’s looking for a hubcap we have one on our wall now.”
“My bad, I wouldn't suppose I could pass it off as a valentines gift?”
“Nice try. I’m gonna be out for a couple hours robbing a 7-11, the house better be cleaned up before I get home.”
“How’re you gonna get there?” I held the keys I was holding up, differently her car and house keys.
“I lost my keys didn’t I?”
“Yup. Only the fourth time this week.” Funnily enough, it was a Tuesday. Last time I had to fish it out of a guy's stomach, I didn’t tell Morgan that part.
I heard a drawn out sigh.
“I probably dropped it while I was dodging a car wheel!” It sounded like she took the phone away from her ear so she could yell into it, which was probably fair.
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that wheel. I used it to-”
“I don’t want to know, just teleport the keys to me so I can leave” I heard the door opening.
“Will do, and I’ll clean the house.”
“Thanks, and please stop throwing things!’
“I will when you stop losing your keys.” I heard a sigh.
“I’ll try. I love you, bye.”
“Love you too, see you at dinner.”
The hero was trying to claw away even with their leg.
“Well, better put you out of your misery!”