Archive of Our Own

Delphia hated this time of year. It was the same each time, she didn’t want to remember. His face seemed to permeate her mind and she cursed him for leaving her alone to handle this. Empty promises echoed in her head as she felt the same pull she’d answered the night before. He gave her a life where she never had to worry and she desperately wanted to escape for a moment. She’d live for him, for those that cared for her in his stead, but she wouldn’t act tonight.

She wouldn’t risk losing herself if she put a meal off for another day. She just needed the time to pass and her memories to fade again. His smile as she woke up that first night. The times he told her just what his role was and what it meant for her. The way he swore she’d never be alone again. Yet here she was alone and it’s been centuries since she exchanged more than a few pleasantries when they came to make sure she could interact in modern human society.

She wandered around, unsure where to go or what to do. It wasn’t like she could sleep the night away. She was awake until the sun rose and she was pulled into a false death again. She would just read for the night again, he’d promised they’d do so much. She froze when something new entered her senses. Small heartbeats, quiet steps, and most importantly quiet voices.

“How are they?” one said. It sounded commanding and worried. Someone may have been hurt nearby. It’s probably better she stays away then.

“They’re both asleep, good thing I was able to get some thicker fabric before we left,” someone answered. This one sounded almost cold, but she could hear a hint of warmth.

“We’ll stay here and see if this human catches on. We’ll at least let Luna and Sola rest for a while,” a kind voice said. They sounded tired. They weren’t human based on how they assumed she was, what were they?

She didn’t have much here that normal beings would use. The house worked, it was kept updated with new technology. She honestly didn’t care to understand a lot of it. She didn’t have food though. She bit her lip before digging out the card they’d told her worked as money. She’d need to use it this time after all. She had to dig up old memories of lessons, taking heavier steps and making herself breathe. She’d be as human as she could for them. It was a risk not to be.

She left quickly, giving up the façade of living once outside. She decided to get closer to the edge of the property before changing, just in case. She liked this change, probably her favorite part of what he’d done to her. Seeing the world from the sky and experiencing it from such a different few. Sometimes she just wanted to stay a bat and never turn back. Tonight she had other concerns. She changed back in an alley near a store she knew would have food.

She wandered around unsure what to get. Filling a basket with a number of strange foods she’d never heard of. If she had the choice she would have just asked someone, but she couldn’t remember the last time she actually spoke to a human. She still sort of blamed them all for her solitude. She did grab things she remembered enjoying, apples for one. She’d been vegetarian before all of this. She remembered how they explained purchasing things, making the interaction slightly less awkward.

She was a bit nervous, she never had to return carrying things. He’d said it was easy, as a bat she’d be able to do just as much as she could in her usual form. She picked out someone near the alley she’d used. A person smoking, an easy target. She met their eyes, her own glowing and making them follow. Deep in the darkness of the alley she put her bags down and wrapped her arms around the person she’d chosen. She pulled them close, opening her mouth and extending her fangs. She bit them, the blood flowing into her mouth. She always took just enough, pulling back and watching the only evidence of her act disappear.

“Go finish smoking, forget we ever met,” she whispered. The person nodded, slipping from her grasp and disappearing from her sight.

She picked the bags up, licking the blood off her lips. She’d need to avoid showing her true nature to the beings in her home. She changed quickly, the bags disappearing and she was left as a simple bat. She felt foolish, it would be obvious if a bat was carrying things. Everything about them was meant to avoid suspicion, she just focused on returning home. She changed just before landing, the bags back and proving just how strange things were when he wasn’t here to explain it.

Walking inside she could already pinpoint the small beings. They’d settled in the kitchen. A place well stocked with everything except food. She started unpacking the items she purchased. Opting to place them low to the ground where the beings would be able to get it. She could hear hushed whispers, many questioning her decisions. If she was lucky they’d assume she just moved in. She did put the fruit on the table, grabbing an apple. She didn’t really think before grabbing a knife and cutting the fruit up into small pieces. She did this when her siblings were having trouble eating back then.

“Dad, what is she doing?” a young voice sounded. They sounded terrified, she hadn’t meant to do that.

“Shh, don’t worry once the human goes to sleep we’ll get some food and go from there,” one of the voices from earlier answered. He must be the father of the group then.

“Vitus I-,” the kind one from earlier started.

“Dabria not now.”

So the father one was Vitus and Dabria was the kind sounding one. Probably another adult for the group. She realized she’d walked right up to the voices, she could hear their hearts racing. She hadn’t meant to scare them, she just got distracted. She just decided to follow through, placing the plate down. There was a small crack in the wall here, it wasn’t strange to assume they were there. It was just odd to know they had entered her home.

“Can’t stop in a new home,” she whispered. She could hear some sighs, it made her feel a bit better. She left, going to her original plan of just reading for the night. She would check on it before she had to rest.

The night passed quietly. She tried not to focus on them too much, she could still hear the quiet voices intermittently. It was exceedingly hard to keep herself from focusing on them and trying to hear it. It was even harder not to try and find out more by getting close. She could understand wariness around humans, she wouldn’t be anything easier. She felt a tingle go up her spine, the sun was starting to rise. She tried not to put too much weight in her steps, but enough they’d know she was coming.

She frowned as she found the browned apple. She had forgotten leaving them out could cause this, it looked as though some was gone at least. She didn’t want to seem overbearing if they were nearby, crouching to retrieve the plate. She froze with her hand clutching it, almost tight enough to shatter the dish. Nearby were two human looking beings smaller than she’d thought one could exist. They were looking at her with a mix of fear and awe, they looked young.

One of them had blonde hair and sky blue eyes. They looked almost tempted to run over to her. The other had dark hair and eyes that seemed to match the night sky. She almost wanted to run from them, they were so small and she didn’t want to hurt them. She was even slower than she had to be to look human as she pulled the plate away. Those small faces made her think of the siblings she’d lost too long ago.

“My dad told me and my brother we shouldn’t go near you,” the blonde one said. “Are you going to hurt us?”

“Sola don’t ask that!” the dark haired one whispered. She chuckled a bit, they were so innocent. It must be taking a lot for their family to keep them that way. He turned his head to look in her eyes. He looked terrified. “She didn’t mean to-to give you ideas. Why did you give us food though?”

“Luna you can’t tell me not to ask things then ask things too!” She smiled at the pout on the one named Sola. She already wanted to help preserve this innocence in their actions.

“You should listen to your father, he wants to keep you safe,” she whispered. They both stiffened and she felt awful, it wasn’t meant to be a threat. “You should go back to your family, I just left out an apple. As far as I can tell it’s untouched and there was no one here when I took the plate away.”

She sent the two a small close lipped smile. They actually looked at her with looks of conspiratorial joy, it was nice. She hadn’t seen smiles with actual joy sent her way in a long time. She finally stood, a wave of fear washing over her as she realized just how small the two were. She’d need to be extra cautious around them. She could hear their racing heartbeats as she moved away, she felt guilty forcing herself to appear human as she moved. She did rush from the room, if only to get away from the fear she’d hurt them.

She had to keep telling herself she couldn’t stop appearing human as she moved. That awful feeling running up her back growing stronger. She almost slammed her bedroom door as she walked in. All the windows in her home were safe if she’d made a mistake. At least if those little humans didn’t do anything to them. She bit her lip as she climbed into her bed. She had to decide if she’d actually just let them stay here.

“I know what you’d do,” she whispered. He’d kill them or chase them off. He’d be sure they were too much of a risk to keep close. She’d talk him down, remind him he thought the same of her. She almost hated the feeling as she was pulled into those awful, awful dreams.

“I’ll be with you always,” he murmured. She was barely awake, the illness taking her energy. “Are you sure you’re willing to do this?”

“It’s going to make me well,” she smiled, reaching out to touch his cold face. “Plus we’ll be together forever. I can’t see a reason to turn this down. I’ll be dead either way right?”

He smiled at her before leaning down. He bit her neck, she could feel the difference from when he fed. There was something different, cold entering her veins. It changed to a feeling of fire when it hit her heart. She took her last breath as everything seemed to stop only to begin at the same time. She looked up at him, there was something in his eyes. A look that wasn’t the man she’d been with until now. Something monstrous. It was like the veil had been lifted and now she saw the truth.

“Wha-” she tried. He silenced her with a motion.

“Quiet love, it can take some time for your fangs to come under control,” he crooned. “There’s no reason to prick your lips. I’ll go get us a meal. One of the humans who had tried to separate us before.”

She wanted to stop him. She didn’t want to be alone. He’d be gone from her so soon after this. She wanted these moments. She couldn’t open her mouth, she couldn’t speak. It felt like time realized what should be true as the sun forced its way into their room. She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t. He turned to ash and all she could do was cry in her silent pain as he died in front of her again.

She barely realized she’d opened her eyes at first. She thought she was there and his ashes would be left behind again. She’d be trapped for days unable to bring herself to move. He’d been so protective until then. It was one of the only times he took a bigger risk. She almost wished her heart was beating so she could feel something there. If she was lucky those little humans would be her failure and she’d join him.

“You just had to go and get yourself killed didn’t you?” she asked the room. She knew there would be no answer. She’d never know what happened that day, or why he’d turned to ash where she could see. She desperately wished she could sleep for the night instead of being awake and wandering.

“Who got killed?” someone asked. She snapped her head to the noise, finding a small person standing on her nightstand. Pink hair and pink eyes staring at her with curiosity and, shockingly, no fear.

“Rhys what are you doing?!” someone else whispered. She had to pretend not to hear it, the voice wouldn’t have been noticed by a normal human. “We were just supposed to get fabric.”

She just stared at the one in her sight. She almost forgot to make herself breathe as she watched them. They took a seat on the table, not bothering to acknowledge the one clearly upset with them. It was like when she’d go off with her brother, always some crazy idea she was desperate to stop. The one hidden must be worried for the one she could see. She was calm as she closed her eyes and spoke to the ‘empty’ room.

“I guess I’ll reminisce today,” she said. “He was killed a long time ago, I don’t know why. He cared for me a lot and gave me this home. Gave me this life. If anyone was curious and listening, that would be who got killed.”

“Come on,” that hidden one whispered. “She’s not doing anything to you which is lucky, let’s go!”

“So you miss him? Do you live alone now?” Rhys asked. She smiled a bit, she wasn’t sure just what to make of him.

“I guess today the house decided to humor my words. I live alone, no one comes by here either.” She opened her eyes slightly, looking at the little person on her table. “I miss him dearly, but I live the life he left me.”

“This morning you said you know what he would do, did you mean about us? Are you going to do what he’d do?” She stopped pretending then, sitting up slowly on her bed. Each movement felt too slow, but she wouldn’t scare them now. She had a feeling they were just as alone as she was. Nowhere else to go, at least for now.

“If you’d like honesty,” she noticed black hair and golden eyes poke out from behind a nearby candle. “He’d chase you out, make sure you wouldn’t be here in case you could hurt us. I would have told him he’s wrong, that everyone deserves a place to stay. He’d thought I was a risk too.”

“How could we be a risk to you?” The one hiding came out completely. It seemed her words made them feel a bit more confident. It warmed her to see even a bit of trust growing with these small beings. She forced herself to take a deep breath, she’d lost those habits long ago. It was how humans handle heavy topics.

“I’m easily sick. I have a special condition plus I’m sensitive to the sun, I can be bedridden for weeks being out in it. An unknown around me scared him, he worried someone would make a change that hurt me. Personally I know I can take care of myself. All of you are welcome to stay here. I do have things I need to take care of tonight, we can talk more later.”

She didn’t want to get questions about what her condition was or the sun hurting her. If they asked too much that small feeling of guilt would grow. She stood from the bed, they looked so small. They were bigger than the two from before, but she could still grab them so easily. If he was here they’d already know what she is. Sometimes she wondered why he loved her. He was much more willing to kill over all. Would he have actually hurt them? She forced the thoughts away, grabbing the first set of clothes in reach and rushing to her bathroom.

She stared at the mirror, a fuzzy image of herself that just wouldn’t clear up met her. She was already kicking herself for the things she said. Inviting them to stay, revealing part of her past, she was foolish. She just didn’t want them to suffer from humans like he did, or she did. The last time a normal human was here she’d almost died. She wouldn’t make a mistake again like that. Although maybe she did by not only aiding, but accepting those small people.

She would just ignore them. She’d ensure food was here for them and otherwise not interact. Decision made she changed quickly, pulling the gloves on that she always kept nearby. If any of them touched her she could try and avoid them noticing how cold she was. She left the room, relieved the two were gone. She didn’t particularly want more questions. She just went straight to her garden, she hadn’t cared for it recently. It would be a nice change and keep her far from those small people.

She walked out to see more weeds than she expected. It must have been longer than she realized, time has somewhat bled together for her at this point. She started in the part farthest from the home, thanking the society pushing her to cage the garden in. It was at least safer out here if she cut it close. She started the weeding first, a process much slower with the knowledge those little humans could arrive. She kept her senses focused on the house, shocked as a small heartbeat grew close.

She could hear a quiet gasp as they found the garden. She tried to ignore them, their heartbeat and footsteps were almost deafening out here. There was a smell to them too, an achingly familiar one. She tried not to lose herself to memories as she continued her work. The smell grew stronger as the heartbeat grew louder. She had to force herself not to look, remind herself the smell wasn’t what she thought. When a small hand touched her own she nearly jumped away. That would have ended badly for the little human.

She stopped what she was doing and looked at the small face. If she had a working heart it would have stopped beating. This one reminded her of him. They had none of the monstrous features she’d seen once he changed her. She had to keep herself from scooping the small person up just to see them better. They had different eyes, different hair, the look she was given was different too. This wasn’t him, she was just imagining far too much. It wasn’t fair to them.

“Could I help?” they asked. She had to find her voice, they sounded similar to him. “My name is Ash, I use they and them. I… I don’t usually get to see plants or gardens.”

Another person came out and pulled them away before she could answer. Angry brown eyes stared up at her. This new one caused a new ache in her chest. Their hair like the night sky and eyes a warm brown were like his. She could see the same protective anger he’d always held. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but the new one pulling out what looked like a needle was not it. They went to stab her, but she pulled her hand away quickly. One of the only times she didn’t act cautiously about her speed. She bit her lip to keep in a hiss and stop from baring her fangs.

“Don’t touch them!” the new one shouted. She wanted to laugh, even if they asked she wouldn’t be able to do anything. The two of them together were too much for her. It was like seeing him the first time all over again.

“Alessia, I came out here, calm down,” Ash soothed. The two speaking to each other felt familiar. A warmth between them she’d missed for a long time. He’d mentioned when he found her he just knew, is this possibly what he meant?

“Ash, you can’t just walk up to a human! So what if it’s been nice so far, it could change! I’ve seen it change.” The new one sounded distraught. They must have suffered deeply. She was slower than her forced human movements as she reached forward. She put a finger on the needle and pushed the weapon down making the new one, Alessia, look at her.

“I won’t do anything. You’re both welcome to spend time in the garden here. Ash, if you see any weeds I’ve missed please let me know. If you can get them out yourself feel free,” she smiled. She was careful to keep her mouth closed as she did. The newer one would likely panic from even a hint of her fangs. She did focus on them though. “My name is Delphia, I’d prefer if you used she instead of it. Would you do me the honor of telling me the same information?”

“…..I don’t trust you,” they said. She nodded at them, it made sense not to trust her. “I’m Alessia, I use she too.”

“Nice to meet you both. Alessia, I would appreciate it if you don’t stab me with your needle. I have a…condition where small cuts can be bad for me.”

She felt awful lying again, but letting them see her blood would be a problem. It would just make it obvious she wasn’t human. All of them have clearly been around humans, they’d know it was wrong. A red that didn’t match and consistency just a bit too thick. He’d told her she would stop bleeding. Alessia actually looked shocked at first, but put her needle away. She almost seemed bashful, it was cute. Ash had already started going through the garden, the small pile of weeds they were finding was growing quickly. It was nice to have someone who cared like she did for her garden. He thought it was a waste when she’d started it.

The following hours were hard to explain, in simple terms it was nice. The nicest she’d felt with others since he died. She almost didn’t want it to end, jumping when the awful feeling started to creep up her spine. The sun was rising. She looked over the trees, she could see the sky beginning to light up. She hadn’t noticed, this could have ended badly if she stayed distracted. She wanted to stay with these two though. Ash asking about every plant and Alessia defending them both from invisible dangers. It felt natural, she wished she could just live a life like this.

“I’m sorry, I need to go inside,” she said. They both looked at her almost sad, of course they wanted to stay out here. The sun was nice for others. “I can leave the door open if you’d like, you can both stay here. I sadly need to rest.”

“Can we spend time together inside?” Ash asked. She was stunned, honestly she wanted to spend time with them as well. Ash was someone different and already made her want them to be around all the time.

“I…” she started. Alessia stepped forward, coming close to her hand.

“I-I would like to too,” she stammered. These two were something else. She knew she would be blushing if she could. Both of them were more than amazing from the night they’d spent out here with her. She’d love to learn more about them. The buzzing warning grew, she didn’t have time.

“I have to rest, but I’m happy to do so after. Would you like me to leave the door open?”

“It’s probably best not to…” Ash seemed hesitant. She could only guess they didn’t get to be outside much. Her presence probably made it safer, something scarier than the animals in the area.

“There’s no animals around here, the land seemed to scare them off for some reason. It should be safe for all of you.” Their eyes were sparkling at the idea. Alessia even seemed willing to trust her. “There’s also this wall around us, it’s not easy for most animals to travel through.”

“I-if you’re sure then we’ll stay out here. If you’re wrong I’ll make sure you’re sorry!” The threat honestly made her happy. They were both willing to trust her. These little humans felt strange and continued to shock her. These two though, she wasn’t sure how she’d handle ever losing them.

She nodded and stood. She couldn’t waste anymore time. She headed back for the house, opting to put a blocker in the door just in case. She’d need to be careful if she came out at all before sunset. It wasn’t like she could wake up before then, but if it ever happened. She felt guilt at the lies she told again. The animals in the area stay far away because of her. She’s a predator as far as they’re concerned. None of them enter her territory, she learned it a long time ago. At first she left food out like she had for the small animals around her original home, but not a single came near. She was a threat now.

She barely kept the human act up as she walked to her room. It was getting close, she was enjoying herself possibly too much. She sighed, the first time in a long time, as she shut the door to her room. Her body was growing heavy, it took all her strength to reach her bed. She was barely settled before her body was too heavy to move. She didn’t know what it took to move around in the day, but she was finally curious. He spent days with her before he changed her. She’d need to ask the society next time they check in. She finally lost her fight, the sun forcing her into a dead sleep.

She opened her eyes, shocked by the empty sleep. She almost always had dreams of before, when he was here or when she was human. She would need to adjust her habits tonight. She didn’t quite need to feed yet, she didn’t like to very often. It was easier to avoid dealing with humans even for food. She hated having to deal with the constant reminder they gave her. She was almost curious why these little humans didn’t elicit the same feelings, maybe their size. She finally turned to leave her bed, finding two of those same humans in front of her. One with white hair, the other with black.

“You aren’t human are you?” the white haired one asked. She recognized the voice, the one called Vitus, the one Sola and Luna called Dad. “You’re something else. Humans don’t act like you do.”

“I-” she started. Both seemed to jump as soon as she opened her mouth, but why? Her fangs hadn’t been extended had they? She closed her mouth and checked, cursing herself. She’d been foolish, she assumed with no dreams they wouldn’t be. She’d been thinking about feeding it must have caused them to start extending.

“What do you want from us!?” the black haired one yelled. This was that kind voice, that meant Dabria. She didn’t like the anger and fear in their tone. She didn’t bother to cover her fangs.

“Nothing, I am human,” she answered. It wasn’t true anymore, but she was a long time ago. “I have a condition, I go out to get the meals I need. My stomach doesn’t handle normal food well is all. I go to a hospital and they give me what I need.”

“Then why are your teeth like that?” Vitus seemed suspicious, he stood in front of Dabria. Clearly they were the ones in charge of the little group. She should have been more careful about her fangs.

“It’s part of my condition…they’re not real teeth. They slide out at times, I hadn’t been thinking when I spoke before or I’d have covered my mouth.” She watched them exchange a look, Dabria coming closer.

“I’ll make sure you pay if you hurt my kids. Don’t underestimate their mother because I’m small.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, please let me know if you need anything.”

The two hesitated leaving. She studied them while they seemed to consider things. Vitus, white hair and green eyes. It was funny, he’s the only one she’d ever seen with eyes like her own. Dabria, black hair and red eyes. She seemed fierce, but it almost seemed like she didn’t want that. They were both anxious, their hearts gave it away. She understood if she were their size any human would be an enemy. They seemed to be content after a bit more time, finally disappearing over her nightstand. She had to force herself to choose to get changed instead of listening to the receding footsteps.

She didn’t waste time in her room, opting to be out in the open again. She had a feeling she’d be spoken to again by Vitus and Dabria soon. She smiled at the still open door, she could faintly hear heartbeats nearby. Sadly she wouldn’t be risking herself getting distracted like that tonight. She went to her reading room, quickly picking a book off the shelf. Before she could sit down, a quiet grunt came from across the room. She found one of them, the only one she’d yet to meet on her chess board trying to move the pieces. It had been a long time since it had seen any use, she walked over almost shocked when they looked up at her happily.

“Miss human?” they asked. She tilted her head, she hadn’t really told them her name had she? Just the two in the garden, the two she almost hoped would avoid her. She realized they were waiting for an answer.

“You can call me Delphia, do you need something?” she asked. They continued smiling, their eyes shone in a way that made the silver color feel like a blade’s edge.

“Will you help me play this game? I watched humans play once it looked interesting.” She took a seat at the table. When was the last time she considered playing chess?

“Of course, do you know the rules?” They quickly paled, but puffed out their chest in confidence. She almost laughed at how they reacted, they had no idea how to play.

“O-of course I do. I’m the great Ryder! The master strategist, if I wanted I could even beat humans.”

“Well if you don’t mind I’d like to refresh myself, it’s been a long time since I last played.”

“…that would be acceptable.”

She smiled as she started explaining how each piece moved. She would go over taking the pieces as opportunities came up for them both. The board had sat unused since he died. She just kept it from gathering dust usually. One game took hours and she won, the heartbroken face Ryder gave her had her asking for another round. They quickly gained an audience, each of the other little humans she met. Ryder didn’t seem to care, or he didn’t notice. He seemed truly happy as she made a ‘mistake’ giving him a clear win.

“Ha, I’ve defeated you human! I told you I’m the master strategist. If I was a true king my armies would never have to lose even a pawn,” he cheered. She ducked her head slightly.

“I admit defeat, I may never match your strategies. I would love to play another time,” she said. That seemed to be when their audience had enough. Vitus stepped forward clearing his throat.

“We would like to speak with you,” he said. His voice continued to carry so much power in each word. In some ways he felt similar to her own father. She missed him.

“Of course, I realized now most of you may not know my name. I’m Delphia.” She had to force her movements even slower. It was easier when she wasn’t so anxious.

“Do you…do you truly not intend to do anything to us? It’s odd that…humans… just let us be. You haven’t even minded us interrupting you. What’s your actual goal for all this?” She didn’t miss the spike in some of their heartbeats. Some of them wanted to trust her, but it wasn’t easy.

“I’ve lived here alone for a long time. Some company doesn’t seem like a bad addition. All I’d ask at this point is to stay out of my bedroom. Sometimes nightmares are bad, there’s no reason for you all to see me like that.” It wasn’t true, the lies were piling up. Even in her nightmares she was still until the sun was down. The worst that happened were her fangs being fully extended. She desperately didn’t want them to see that.

She could see the look Vitus and Dabria shared. Had they told her their names? She’d just need to find a way to ask for it safely. They knew she was more than human or maybe less than human. She’d never quite decided which felt right. She tried not to listen to the whispering of their decision. If they left then they left, she could go back to solitude. It wouldn’t matter in the end for her.

“What if we choose to leave?” Ryder asked. He was still on the table next to her. She almost wanted to offer to put him on the ground with the others.

“Then you’re free to leave. I don’t have a reason to force you to stay. As I said, I’ve been alone a long time. I wouldn’t force others to change that for me.” she smiled.

A sensation ran up her back. Apparently chess with Ryder had gone on too long. She’d need to go to sleep soon. If they stayed, maybe she could learn to stay awake with them. Ryder seemed to keep looking at her and then to the ground. Almost like he wanted her to do something. She moved slowly, placing a hand flat on the table they’d been using. She watched him stare at her hand for a bit before deciding to climb on.

She heard screams and gasps from the ground. She didn’t look at them, she curled her fingers up. It was strange to hold him in her hand. He was a little taller than most of her fingers, but still so small. If she wanted, she could do so much damage in an instant. It would be even worse than a human coming from her. He was a source of warmth on her cold hands, and it made her senses start going wild. She had to focus on being slow. She had to be gentle, she had to be calm, she had to seem human.

She picked her hand up, Ryder seeming as in awe as she was. It would take all of them to even count as a small meal for her. She pricked her tongue with her fangs, the taste of her own blood seeming to bring her back. She hadn’t meant to extend her fangs, and she didn’t like where her mind had begun to wander. She placed him down carefully, watching as he climbed off. She could feel the relief in the room. As though they all expected that to be the moment they learned what she was. She still stood once he was off her hand and began to walk away.

“I’m sorry, I’m very tired. I will come here tonight before I head out. Please let me know if you need anything. If you choose to leave please take anything you need, I’ll be able to replace it,” she said.

Once more she had to force herself to act human. Heavy steps that were far too slow. She wanted to rush to her room and slam the door. Instead her pace was making it hard to contain the fear of herself she felt. She’d never thought she would hold a life in her hand like that, but the first thing she considered was if they’d be a meal. She couldn’t risk going even a day without feeding while they were here. She had to fight the urge to slam her door, letting it gently click shut behind her. She let the human act fall away and rushed to her bathroom. The faded image of herself staring back at her. There was something else when she held him, a feeling she forgot existed. She wanted them all safe.

She opened her mouth, happy to see the wound already healed. Her fangs were fully extended and she knew it may take time to send them back. Time that she didn’t have if the pain in her body told her anything. Hopefully they follow her one request and don’t enter here. She just had to hurry to her bed. She left the bathroom in a rush, but the sun had gone too high. She fell to the floor as the dead sleep she was forced to have each day finally took over.

When she woke up something was different. A lot of sounds and scents flooded her senses. She tried to put a name to the scents: something that reminded her of spring and fresh flowers, something that smelled like autumn with the chill in the air and the leaves falling, some mix of fresh strawberries and roses, some strange scent of metal and blood that wasn’t quite right, something earthy like flowers just before they bloom, something clean almost like mint mixed with the sea, and something sweet like perfume yet soft and welcoming. She was tempted to reach out for them, take in whatever made the scents. Until a small heartbeat got through and she remembered the small humans currently in her home. She slowly opened her eyes, nervous they’d be inhuman and saw the adults of the group near her. They all had a look of concern, but she couldn’t understand why. Something must have happened during the day. She made herself move slower than usual as she sat up.

“You’re ok!?” Vitus asked. She was shocked, he sounded so worried. He must have thought a sudden death would bring humans here. As long as she stayed hidden from the sun it would be fine. She checked her fangs with her tongue, they had stayed back this time.

“Why would I not be?” she asked. Of course she knew being found on the floor didn’t mean something good, but that was all they should have found. They would be too nervous to approach a sleeping human, and two of them suspected she wasn’t one.

“You didn’t have a pulse, or a heartbeat!” Dabria shouted. She sounded terrified. It didn’t seem like they were scared of her though. A part of her wanted to believe the idea there was fear for her. “There wasn’t even breath coming from you!”

“I..” She wasn’t sure what to say. Almost all of whom she met were here except the two young ones. She never had a pulse or a heartbeat and she makes herself breathe while awake for them. She would just have to try saying it’s her condition. If she had any luck they’d know very little about human illnesses. “I have a condition, as I mentioned. It’s something that can cause events like this. It’s…rare and why I actually have to be going out tonight.”

She could see it in the small faces staring up at her that none of them believed her. She couldn’t admit to them she was a vampire. It would certainly terrify them into leaving. She had to admit it to herself, she didn’t want them to leave. They were the first beings she didn’t harbor some bit of hatred towards in a long time. They weren’t the humans who took him and they weren’t the vampire society that left her to wallow with promises they’d keep her afloat. He had been important after all. They were talking while one of them, Vitus, came closer.

“..phia, Delphia?” he asked. It was nice to hear concern for the first time in so long. A lot nicer than pity.

“Sorry, I just need to go to the hospital as I’d mentioned. I will be back before the sun rises, do you need anything?” she asked. She could see all of their concern, she was shocked by the calm heartbeats she could hear. She had to go though, they were too close, strange and strong. Each scent was making her mind feel strange, it wasn’t hunger though just a need to be close.

“Fabric? And thread?” Felix asked. She smiled, careful to keep her mouth closed. She nodded before climbing to her feet.

She tried to move slower than she had been around them. They were there on the ground and she didn’t want to risk a single mistake around them. Especially not with her reaction to the way holding Ryder was the night before. She was more dangerous than a human. If she kept her usual schedule for feeding she might lose herself around them. If she lost herself they wouldn’t get away. She would just have to feed every night and things would be easy as long as they stayed.

She was right about that. After that night she’d go out as soon as the sun went down and come back part way through the night. She brought everything they asked for and things they didn’t. She found a chess board that had significantly lighter pieces, Ryder was excited. She found small toys for Sola and Luna. She would leave out books she’d learned Vitus may like, and bring home paints for Dabria. She added a lot more to her garden, even making it safer in case an animal got brave. Ash had been excited that night. She found small antiques she gave Alessia that could be weapons. She also found more types of fabric, thread, and needles for Felix. Rhys just liked taking apart human things. She didn’t mind getting things he had the freedom to take apart. She was starting to like having people in her life again.

She thought things could continue like that. She had just been foolish again. A few weeks after they decided to stay she woke up and something felt wrong. She couldn’t place it, just dread filling her. She sought out her guests, most of their heartbeats seemed slower than normal. She felt anxiety fill her, she had to fight herself to keep from losing the human footsteps. She found them all in her reading room, looking wrong. Her eyes went wide, were they ill? She didn’t know how to take care of modern illnesses. She couldn’t go back to that solitude again. She walked in to find most of them near a wall, but Sola and Luna were out in the open.

“What’s going on?” she asked. There was relief on the faces she could see, what did that mean? She could only think of her relief when he’d turned her. Did they know and were hoping for the same?

“Delphia,” Dabria coughed. Delphia wanted to pick them up, make sure they were safe. She wanted to help, but she was freezing and would only hurt them. She must have done something that let this happen. “You came at a good time.”

“She’s right, we were just going to try and catch you before you left,” Vitus added. She swept her eyes over all of them. Sola and Luna looked scared and nervous. She’d do anything for them. She had probably lost her mind in her solitude with how quickly she’d latched on to these small humans. “Could you take care of Sola and Luna while we’re sick? We don’t want them to catch it.”

She wanted to scream at the idea. Ask if they were playing some weird game with the lives of the youngest in their group. They were small, so so small. They weren’t even as big as her thumb. She could see concern on each of the small faces even from how far she’d stayed back. Slowly, achingly slowly, she kneeled close to Sola and Luna. She was glad she’d started wearing gloves all the time since she held Ryder. She offered them her palm, the two shared a look before climbing on together and hugging each other in the center of her palm.

“Of course. The three of us will stay in my room until you’re well,” she smiled. She could see relief and even hear the way they all seemed to calm at the idea. When did they trust her so much?

She curled her fingers over them as she lifted her hand. She could just barely feel the warmth radiating through her glove. She brought them close, but tried to avoid going near her heart. She worried it might be troublesome, how long would she go without feeding? She just had to hope it would be fine, she’s better fed than she has been in a long time. She grabbed some of the things she’d bought for Sola and Luna before retreating to her room. This would be fine, it had to be.

She couldn’t stop herself from hyper focusing on their presence. Each breath and beat of their heart was like a jet engine for her. She was terrified of somehow hurting the two who were so trusting and kind. She placed the toys she’d brought along for them on the ground. She’d go get some things for them to eat and drink part way into the night. She just had to hope this was enough, she finally started to lower her hand. She froze a few inches off the ground when a small sniffle seemed to echo around her. She raised her hand instead, almost forgetting to make herself breathe. When they were near her eyes, she began studying their faces. She found tear stains and red eyes, they hadn’t been crying before they came here.

“Oh no, Sola, Luna did I hurt you?” she asked. She started searching for any sign, but Luna just dove behind Sola. It didn’t make sense.

“You don’t like us,” Luna said. He hid his face in Sola’s back the second the words left his mouth.

“What makes you say that?” As much as she cared for everyone, Sola and Luna felt like the younger siblings she’d lost. She had watched them die to the same illness he’d saved her from. These were the two she desperately wanted to keep safe and in the dark about what she really was. She could handle the others thinking she was a monster and being afraid, not these two.

“You always make us go away when we try to play with you or ask someone else to make us get down…,” Sola whispered. She’d never heard her so quiet, even before they were supposed to speak to her she was vibrant and loud. She wasn’t wrong though, they always ran up and started to climb her legs. She would panic and have someone help her after she froze..

“I just don’t want to hurt you two.”

It was the same thing she’d told all of them. It was only a half truth, but felt like another heavy lie. She was anxious to touch any of them, terrified of them noticing her lies. That no matter how hard they listened she’d never have a heartbeat. Her hands weren’t cold just because of her quiet heart. She was making herself breathe around them. All the facts that she’d hidden for what seemed like months, but had been only weeks. They both seemed to cry harder at her words.

“You play games with Ryder! Make clothes with Felix! Help Dad with reading and Mom with painting!” Luna shouted. He’d never sounded so forceful. “You talk with Ash and Alessia all night in the gardens and you joke with Rhys while he plays with the human stuff you bring him. All you do is give us toys and stay far away…”

“We told mom and dad not to ask you to stay with us while they were all sick. It’s not the first time the oldest got sick and we had to take care of ourselves. It’s what happens with such a small colony,” Sola added. She felt awful, she never wanted them to feel like this. They were so much smaller than the others, all her fears seemed amplified around them. Seeing them felt like seeing the morning and night skies, a gift she wanted to keep. She brought her hand close to her face and held it right by her eyes.

“Will you two keep a secret for me?” she asked. Their tear stained faces looked shocked, but they nodded. She brought her hand close enough they could touch her face. “I don’t want anyone to know how cold I am. If you touch my face I bet it’s like ice. It’s part of my condition. I don’t want any of you scared of me, you two are part of that.”

She knew what would happen and smiled as she felt the small hands touch her skin. It was an indescribable feeling, such tiny hands running across her skin. She could hear the light gasp from each as they took in her ice cold skin. She could get their scents clearly for the first time; Sola smelled like sunflowers and Luna like chamomile. When the small hands left her she finally pulled them back to meet their faces. Both looked shocked, but comfortable too. It was nice to see and hear that there was no fear from the two in her hand. She lowered them to the ground again. As much as they may want to stay held, she didn’t think the cold from her was safe.

They seemed comforted by her words at least. The two jumping off and starting to play with the things that littered her room. She played along when they asked her to, even tried to teach them games she played as a child. It was quite a night for the three of them, even if she would sometimes tune them out and focus on the heartbeats in the other room. Counting to make sure it was still seven and there was no trouble. She could handle keeping them safe, it would be easy. At least she believed that until the tingling sensation ran up her spine.

“Oh no,” she whispered. The two stopped playing and came up to her. They put their hands on her knee and looked up with concern. She had to stay up for them. She couldn’t scare them and couldn’t ask them to leave her room. She watched as Luna’s eyes seemed to brighten.

“Is it almost bedtime?” he asked. She opened her mouth to answer, but she didn’t have one. It was in a way, although it felt more like a forced death.

“Mom and dad said when you go to sleep we need to stay where you tell us and not go adventuring,” Sola mimicked Vitus’s voice as she spoke. Delphia couldn’t stifle her own laughter, Sola sounded ridiculous.

“When I sleep it’s really hard to wake up again until I’ve slept enough. So we’ll just stay here and I’ll stay awake as long as I can. I just need you to stay away from me if I do fall asleep ok?” she explained. They nodded and she decided to read one of the books she kept in here to them.

She could feel as each second made her body grow heavier. She wanted to stay awake with them, she would be up with the moon either way. She felt the same weight that caught her by surprise the night they decided to stay. She finished the part she was reading aloud and watched as the twins played more. She had no reason to think this would work, but she could try it. She bit her tongue, getting more of her blood than the few drops that helped last time. Just like that night with Ryder, it seemed to force her from her instincts. The heaviness in her body passed. Each time the heaviness grew enough to pull her down she did it again, managing to stay up until noon when the two decided to sleep.

The next few days passed in a similar fashion. She’d go check on the others, partly to be sure she wasn’t imagining the heartbeats. She’d get anything they need and spend the night until the next noon with Sola and Luna. She was getting a bit worried, she hadn’t fed and she could tell having to injure herself was making her need stronger. Each night their heartbeats were all just a bit clearer. If it went on too long she’d have to leave them alone while she went to feed. There was no way to take them with her.

It took almost a full week before the others were recovered. She had to spend time in bed herself the day they’d recovered. She was finally going out though, she’d feed and get the new items Vitus and Dabria were listing for her. A lot of it seemed to be combating the cold, maybe she should actually use the heat. She never needed it for herself and wouldn’t notice the difference. She smiled as Sola and Luna laughed nearby. She shouldn’t be so afraid of hurting any of them, even a week without feeding she was under control.

“Oh and can you get more of that stuff you’d gotten the first night?” Dabria asked. She tried to remember there was so much she’d gotten then.

“Do you mean what I cut up for you?” Delphia asked.

“Yes, Sola and Luna like it a lot. We weren’t sure how to preserve it though.”

“That’s easy, it was apples. I can buy some and keep them cold so they don’t turn brown next time.”

She smiled as she added apples to her list. It was easy enough, some of the things she’d need to get maybe before feeding. She was lucky she lived in a city that tended to keep stores open at all hours. She had a feeling the society might have had something to do with that. She folded her list and was about to leave when the worst thing she could imagine happened. There was a crash, followed by shouts, and ending in the smell of blood. She looked at it already feeling her fangs extend Sola and Luna were running towards her clearly hurt.

“Stay back,” she breathed.

The smell was strong, it was too strong. Fields of flowers popped in her mind and made her tempted. She’d waited too long. She could lose control. She knew words were being said. She saw Luna start crying, but all she could focus on was that smell. She snapped her head towards the new movement, Vitus and Dabria approaching her. Smells of spring and autumn accosting her. They were close, she could just grab them. She could feed now.

“Get away!” she hissed. The others looked up from the things they were doing.

Small faces stared at her. She could hear the blood pumping through each small body. She tried to wake herself up, remind herself of them. Vitus and Dabria, they acted like she was just part of their family even with their suspicions. Alessia and Ash had some pull about them she never wanted to lose. Felix and Ryder felt like the cousins who had abandoned her after she turned. Rhys like her older brother she’d lost. Sola and Luna like her younger siblings she missed so dearly.

“Don’t come near me!” she shouted.

She could hear the racing heartbeats. Sola and Luna didn’t listen, they came closer and closer. She didn’t fully realize she’d been covering her mouth until she jumped back. Another hiss left her mouth and she could feel the fear cascading off the small family she’d found. It was too much, she risked too much. It would be easy, they couldn’t get away. She had to wake up…wake up. That’s what she had to do.

She didn’t hesitate as she brought her arm up to her mouth. She knew her fangs were on full display right now. She bit deeply into her own arm, the bitter taste of her own blood flooding her senses. She tried not to focus on any of them as the blood from her arm flowed to the ground. The wrong color and wrong consistency. She was proving their suspicions right. She wasn’t human, she was dangerous. She was more dangerous than any human they could face.

She was gone in a second. The first time since they arrived at her true speed. The window in the hall behind her was the exit she chose. She didn’t risk freeing her senses of her own blood until she was in town. She slowly put her arm down, everything was over now. She’d found people to care about again and she’d lost them all in a moment. She almost wanted to just let the sun take her. Instead she licked her arm, healing the wound she gave herself. Then started off to the stores.

She got more than they asked, leaving it on a rooftop nearby. She would do all she could for them still. She’d have to consider going after them tomorrow if they left. She shook those thoughts away, focusing on feeding. She jumped from person to person, taking more than she ever had in a single night. She didn’t know she could feel overfed, but she was there. She didn’t stop until she knew it was a risk to stay any longer. She grabbed the things she purchased before returning home, entering through the window she’d run through before.

She closed it gently, pulling the curtain closed. The reading room was empty, she didn’t want to actively seek them out. She looked in the kitchen and gave the garden a cursory glance. If they were in the house it wasn’t somewhere she’d seen them before. She entered her own room, falling to her knees as she did so. She should have sent them away before she grew attached. She shouldn’t have risked growing to care about anyone again. She wasn’t sure if it was more painful to have a loved one die or leave you.

She wanted to laugh at herself. She’d grown so used to their presence. Small faces smiling when she came home. No one was pitying her or fearing her. She actually thought she could keep this up. They’d have learned eventually. She knew if they had asked her again now she would have lied, if they asked right now she’d want to desperately convince them it was something else. It was the first time she creeped over to her bed in silence, still holding the bags tightly.

“I’m back,” she whispered. She pulled back the curtain around her bed and let out a loud gasp. All of them, everyone, were there doing something to keep themselves busy. They stared up at her, the words she said feeling like too much.

“Welcome back,” Felix said. She could see him trying to see in the bags she still held. She couldn’t bring herself to humor him. They should be gone.

“Aren’t you cutting it close? Sun’s up in like five minutes,” Rhys snarked. She almost laughed. They all just sat on a pillow like nothing was different. She saw the bandages wrapped around Sola and Luna’s arms. The bags finally left her hands, dropping to the floor with a loud thud.

“You shouldn’t have waited so long if it means you need to hurt yourself like that, even if it was for us,” Vitus lectured.

“I-” she tried. She couldn’t believe they were here. Dabria waved for her to come closer. She hesitated but the look she was given told her that Dabria would get her way. She leaned forward and the small woman placed a hand against her nose.

“We had a feeling there was something more to you, Vitus and I saw a lot before we wound up with this group here. We’d also heard of creatures who look human but could kill a borrower with a bite. The bite would heal itself though,” Dabria explained. Delphia felt sick hearing that, starting to bare her fangs. She moved quickly to cover her mouth, that would just scare them. Small hands tugged at her own, she almost laughed when she realized it was Ash and Alessia.

“Don’t hide it anymore,” Alessia said. She tried not to bite her own lip. It would bleed with her fangs out like this.

“You’re still you…I still like you,” Ash murmured. Their voice was quiet but she would be blushing if she could. These two were unbelievable.

“You’ve been doing a lot more than any of us noticed haven’t you?” Vitus drew her attention with those words, she couldn’t believe the kindness in his eyes. “You went out so often to make sure that didn’t happen. Stayed awake longer than usual and where the sun could hurt you while you were watching Sola and Luna.”

“We’re sorry!” Sola shouted, she looked like she’d been crying the whole night. “We didn’t know the times in the hallway were bad for you…”

Luna was crawling towards her, the pillow seemed like so much around him. She didn’t dare move as he came up next to Dabria and hugged her nose. She could hear the small sobbing from him. She wasn’t sure how smart it was, but she brought her other hand up. Cautiously she started to rub his back, the sobs starting to end. She could feel that same sensation of the sun seeming to come to pull her away.

“I…” she started. She finally took her hand from Luna’s back and pulled her face from his hug. She looked over them all, they were likely just scared she’d go after them. “I won’t go after you, you can leave. I… I’ll probably hurt you if you stay.”

“We’ll leave when you beat me at chess!” Ryder shouted. She laughed a bit, standing up from where she’d been kneeling. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t put them at risk again. She felt her body starting to grow heavier.

“I…we can discuss it tomorrow. All of you should leave the room for now.” She faltered when she met with looks of sadness and confusion. “I, well vampires, when we sleep we just look dead. Most of the time since you’ve been here I’ve been faking it. I don’t breathe, I’m cold, I have no pulse or heartbeat. It’s…unsettling to see.”

She tried not to shiver at her own memories. The first time she’d seen him like that she cried all day. It was horrifying, she had no sign he’d actually wake up again. It was also the first night he didn’t force himself to breathe for her. It was the first time she realized how dead he truly was when he didn’t fake it. She didn’t want to put at least Luna and Sola through that. The others had already seen it. She wasn’t fully thinking as she bit down on her tongue, forcing the heaviness away again. She couldn’t lose herself to it now.

“Stop doing that!” Luna yelled. She jumped, his voice was loud and pained. She went wide eyed unsure what she’d done to him. “You hurt yourself again. We knew you were doing something. You look different when you do. Your eyes look kind of red, they did it when you left earlier too.”

“Of course my eyes turn red,” she started. She almost found it funny how much she had to scare them out of here. “Do you not understand? I’m not human!” She bared her fangs and made her eyes glow. “I drink blood, I’m basically a living corpse. There’s no reason for humans like you to stay near someone like me. All of you have just been fun to me, nothing else. Eventually I’ll get sick of you and you’ll regret making a choice like this, I promise you that.”

“Fine then,” Ryder said. She watched trying to keep up the threat as he walked to the edge opposite them all. She wanted to stop him, she was nervous he might fall. He paused just before the edge. “We’re just something fun then don’t do anything about this.”

The happy way he spoke seemed to fade almost as fast as he moved. He jumped off the bed, the bed that was high even to her. It was made so she had a place to hide if things were ever a danger in here. Ryder was falling, a height that would likely kill him. She didn’t hesitate moving in ways she knew none of them had seen before. A speed that made her just a blur, but let her reach him. She held him in her shaking hands, as she checked for any sign he’d been hurt once she caught him.

“Why would you do that?!” she shouted. He just smiled up at her, even laying in hands that had to be ice. She could hear Vitus chuckling softly. She looked towards him and realized she just had her bluff called. She hung her head, finally seeing the pile of fabric that certainly would have broken his fall, leaving him with just bruises.

“You’re not lying I thought it was just that night you are pretty cold,” Ryder said. He still just relaxed in her hands as if nothing mattered. “I told you if I were a king I’d lose no one. That includes myself.”

“Why…” She knew her voice was quiet. She wasn’t sure any of them could hear her. She just placed her hands on the bed, Ryder didn’t leave. She didn’t know what to do, they shouldn’t stay with her. Everyone else died, they would too. “…I’m too cold, you should go…”

“No, I think we’ll be staying here for the day, there’s plenty for us to do in those bags you brought,” Vitus said. She didn’t get it. Humans reject her, humans took him, they’re still humans. She doesn’t want them to go…maybe they don’t have to go.

“If you won’t leave…” She trailed off as she slid Ryder off her hands. She was sure being close to her body would be bad for them and she’d have to bite her tongue to stay up much longer. She leaned her full weight on the bed, transforming a bit slowly compared to normal. It was weird, she was still bigger than all of them. She’d felt so small like this until now. She looked at them, almost hoping they’d still hold no fear.

It took only a second for Luna and Sola to slide off the pillow and run to her. She wasn’t quite so dangerous to them now. She was gentle as she wrapped her wings around them in the best hug she could give. She was just about out of time for tonight. She let herself fall on the bed, feeling almost too big for her and her small humans. She pulled her wings back to make sure they could leave when they got cold. It almost made her want to try and bite her tongue as a bat when the others came and surrounded her. It was the warmest she felt in a long time.

“Sleep well,” Dabria murmured. She wanted to say more, but the rising sun finally became too much and she was out.

When she opened her eyes she was sure they’d be gone. They hadn’t left though, just moved. At some point they must have gotten what Felix asked for out of the bags she dropped. They had on clothes that looked a lot warmer than when she fell asleep. Felix still had one of his needles in his hand. She still worried she could hurt them, she could lose herself again. At least for now though, she’d give in to their tenacity. She’d let herself have people to care about again. If it came close again, she’d make a final choice. She would just let them all sleep comfortably right now. She was in no rush, there were plenty of hours in the night.