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hinata dreaded personal questions. he didn't like talking about himself in such an open and private way, especially regarding matters of the heart. it made dating difficult, but he could drive even the most determined of suitors away so long as volleyball was involved. very few people understood his passion for the sport, and it was easy to keep someone at arms' length if they didn't have a clue.
he could protect himself this way, with his heart and feelings guarded so closely.
he was unfortunate enough to have caught the attention of oikawa tooru, someone who understood better than anyone what volleyball meant. he was someone who also spent every free moment of the day practicing and perfecting his craft, someone who felt the very same fascination coursing through his veins. escaping tooru's grasp was impossible, but shoyo found that he really didn't mind.
he didn't mind it when their relationship turned sexual, nor when the physical aspect morphed into something emotional. he didn't mind apartment hunting after a few months of dating, if only so they'd have privacy whenever oikawa was visiting from argentina. ( it was better than crashing with kenma, after all. ) he didn't mind the deep talks late at night, when his boyfriend bared his heart and soul into the darkness.
sometimes hinata was willing to open up in return, his guard lowered just enough to let tooru in a little bit more than he had been before. it was pleasant, to have one person get you better than anyone else. at least, it was nice when the brunette wasn't bombarding him with questions.
"i don't know how you talked me into watching a rom-com." shoyo groaned from his spot on the couch, shivering under the blanket despite wearing one of oikawa's hoodies to fight off the winter chill. if there was one thing that hinata missed about brazil, it was the warmth. it was the hot sand beneath his feet, swimming on christmas, margaritas on the beach. he loved playing for the black jackals, loved getting to play with some of his high school friends, but his heart was in south america, where the miles between him and argentina weren't stretched so thin.
"it's because you love me." tooru replied, ruffling the ginger's hair as he stood up and made his way into the kitchen. "did you go grocery shopping before picking me up from the airport?"
"of course i did." he said, resentment creeping into his voice at the inquiry. "i'm not making the same mistake twice."
"whatever could you mean, my love?" the setter asked teasingly, laughing as he dodged the pillow that was thrown at him. "did you buy more popcorn?"
"i shouldn't have to remind you of the fit you threw when i didn't stock up on margarita mix!" a pause. "yes, i did. can't have you rampaging again."
"i was drunk!" oikawa complained, his pout audible as he spoke. "you promised you'd stop bringing that up!"
hinata laughed, shaking his head as he cuddled further into the blanket. it was moments like these that reminded him why he trusted his boyfriend so explicitly, where their energies bounced off of one another and created a comfortable setting. it took him back to when they first met, when he pictured a future with the captain of aoba johsai's volleyball team, feeling like a silly schoolboy with a crush that threatened to swallow him whole.
"so when did you realize you loved me?" tooru asked from the kitchen, the question startling shoyo out of his thoughts. of all the things to ask, why did it have to be that?
"do you want the honest answer, or the less creepy one?" he retaliated, swallowing down the lump in his throat as he got up from the couch and joined his boyfriend in his quest for popcorn.
"there's a creepy answer?" the brunette chuckled, raising an eyebrow as the two of them scoured the pantry for snacks. "you are full of surprises, hinata shoyo."
silence enveloped them afterwards, the shorter of the two men deliberately keeping his mouth shut as he found what they were looking for. he wordlessly grabbed a bag of popcorn, tearing off the wrapper and putting it in the microwave before oikawa could even open his big, dumb mouth to say something else.
"hey, what's wrong?" tooru asked quietly, gently taking hinata's hand and turning the ginger toward him. "i'm sorry if what i said bothered you."
"it's not that." shoyo sighed, shuffling forward to press his face against his boyfriend's chest. his voice was muffled when he said, "i just… it's hard to be open, sometimes."
"that's okay." oikawa replied, holding him close. "you can be as open with me as you see fit—i talk enough for the both of us."
hinata giggled, wrapping his arms around the taller man's waist.
"but i'm not going to judge you if you do decide to share." he continued, rubbing soft circles against his back as he spoke. the action was enough to calm shoyo down once more, his walls temporarily lowering. tooru’s embrace made him feel safe, despite the many warning bells that went off in his head.
memories of being told that he was too loud, too happy, too much always made a reappearance at times like these. he’d learned from a young age that reigning in his emotions was necessary, that it was the only way people would like him. nobody wanted to be friends with the loud kid who was too excited for his own good, or the kid who tried so hard to fit in, but somehow always ended up falling short. he was lucky that izumi and kōji had been there, or else middle school would have been a lonely experience.
even still, part of him still struggled to believe that they had cared as much as they said they did, regardless of the many times they had assured him that they loved spending time with him. those feelings extended well into his first year at karasuno, when he felt more like a burden than a true friend. hinata adored his teammates, don’t get him wrong. they always made him feel welcome, and wanted, but it still took a lot of effort to look past his own demons and recognize that they did care about him.
“sho?” oikawa’s voice was quiet, as if he was trying not to catch him off guard. hinata’s heart did a flip in his chest at that, still somehow surprised when tooru was delicate with his feelings.
“hi, sorry.” he said in response, lifting his gaze and resting his chin against his boyfriend’s chest. his dark brown eyes were swimming with worry, and he could practically see the questions in his coffee gaze. “got lost in my own head for a minute there.”
the microwave beeped behind them, but his boyfriend made no move to turn it off. instead, he continued to look down at shoyo, opening his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but was unable to find the words.
“why don’t you get the popcorn and i retreat to the living room where it’s warm, yeah?” hinata asked, patting oikawa’s ass with a smirk. “and we can continue this conversation there.”
the taller man nodded, pressing a kiss to the ginger’s forehead before letting him go. shoyo immediately dashed out of the kitchen like a man possessed, throwing himself onto the couch and groaning loudly into the blanket. he continued his quiet shouting into the abyss, only stopping when tooru pushed his legs out of the way.
“you’re a demon.” he deadpanned, fighting a smile as his boyfriend maneuvered him until he was comfortably sitting on his lap. “stop manhandling me!”
“then stop being small.” oikawa quipped, laughing as hinata swatted him repeatedly. “we’re not here for you to complain about me.”
“i’m literally always complaining about you.”
“be that as it may,” the setter continued, eyeing shoyo warily. “you were about to open up, and i’m not going to let you get out of it that easily.”
“what happened to not pushing me?” the shorter man grumbled, shifting his position until he was properly straddling the brunette’s hips. he shoved his face into the crook of tooru’s neck, pouting as he snickered above him.
“that was before you went off in your own little world and scared the hell out of me.”
“god, fine!” hinata relented, though he wasn’t happy about it. “what was the question again?”
“you know damn well what it was.”
“humor me.”
“you’re insufferable.” oikawa said, though his smile could be heard through the exasperation. “when did you know you were in love with me?”
“i’m guessing you want the creepy answer?” when his boyfriend didn’t respond, hinata sighed. “i fell in love with you during the practice match.”
“what was that? can’t hear you when you’re speaking into my collarbone.” tooru teased, wincing slightly as shoyo tugged at his hair in response. he lifted his head and rested his chin on his shoulder, reaching up to loop his arms around oikawa’s neck.
“it was during the practice match. you were just so cool, and talented, y’know?” he paused, staring up at the ceiling as he gathered his thoughts. “i thought about you a lot, but i just chalked it up to a stupid crush. you know, the kind where you imagine a future with the other person and draw their name with little hearts.”
“that might be the cutest thing you’ve ever said.” tooru said decisively, once again rubbing circles against his boyfriend’s back.
“shut up.” shoyo said with a laugh, though he was no longer feeling like he needed to make an immediate escape. he was relaxed once more, and he silently thanked oikawa for his ability to calm him down so quickly. “what about you? when did you realize you were in love with me?”
“well, i’m not going to lie and say that i saw karasuno’s chibi-chan and immediately fell for his charms.” he hesitated when hinata stiffened in his arms. “but, i will say that i did feel a connection during that practice match.”
“yeah?” the ginger’s voice was uncharacteristically small, his heart pounding against his ribcage.
“yeah.” tooru affirmed, playfully pulling his boyfriend’s hair to get him to tilt his head back and look at him. “there was something about you; you were like a magnet. your passion rivaled mine, and i thought about you every night until iwa-chan bitched at me for not getting enough sleep.”
“that sounds like iwaizumi.” shoyo agreed, smiling as the brunette stuck his tongue out at him.
“is that answer good enough for you?” oikawa asked, his hands sliding down until they rested on hinata’s hips. “or do i have to go into great detail about how karasuno’s tiny giant wooed me in brazil?”
“i’m not the tiny giant.” he replied, a sparkle of mischief in his eyes. “but i wouldn’t be opposed to hearing about how the grand king fell in love with little ole me.”
“why tell you how, when i can show you?” tooru stood up abruptly, chuckling as shoyo squealed and clung to him due to the sudden movement. he carried him to the bedroom, the popcorn and movie long forgotten. hinata still wasn’t one to wear his heart on sleeve, but oikawa always did have a way with pulling him out of his comfort zone. and he’d never change that for the world.