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It was a relatively early night for Tubbo. He realizes that midnight is late for a lot of people, but this is a normal time for him to be awake. He might even be streaming at this time but he had done an long alt stream earlier in the day and he had no desire to keep streaming.
He had better things to do.
He sits back down at his desk with a plate of left over chicken tenders from the night before.
The night is still, with a fan in the background there isn’t much noise to be heard. It’s almost eerie this time of night when no one else is awake, but Tubbo didn’t mind. He was however feeling a bit lonely. He gets waves of emotions like loneliness a lot but it’s almost always solved with a simple chat with a friend. And now he definitely felt like he wanted to talk to someone.
The silence of the room suddenly breaks with the clack of fingers on a keyboard.
*hey you up?* read the discord message.
He got a response not even a few seconds later.
/yeah. whats up?/
*wanna vc?* Tubbo replied.
He didn’t even get a message back before his discord started to ring.
He clicked accept and put on his headphones.
He spoke first.
“Hey big man. How’re you doing?”
A deep male voice replied. “Ah I’m fine, just chilling. What about you?”
Tubbo smiled. He missed Ranboo’s voice.
(Even though they literally talked on stream earlier today.)
“I’m good! I was just getting some food but now I’m just,” he thought for a moment. “Well doing nothing really.”
Ranboo hums in acknowledgment. “So did you want to talk about anything?” He asked.
“Nah, I just wanted to talk I guess.”
“Ok well then tell me about your day then.”
Tubbo smiles, as he begins to explain the beginnings of his day.
The conversation then diverted into dozens of different topics over the next hour. They laughed over a message from a weird chatter in Tubbos stream, they talked about their different opinions on hot sauce, and they actually started to get into a heated debate about how many lions it would take to kill Godzilla when Tubbo gets an earful of coughing from the other end.
“You good big man? Didn’t catch the rona did you?” Tubbo laughs a bit.
Ranboos coughing died down. “No no I’m fine I just took too big of a hit.”
“Too big of a hit?” Tubbo questioned.
“Yeah just inhaled too much you know?”
“Inhaled what?”
“Oh crap, did I not tell you I smoke?”
What. What!? Tubbo was shocked.
“No???”
“Shit. Are you mad at me?”
Tubbo thought for a moment. He knew immediately that no he isn’t mad. Lots of people smoke and that doesn’t make someone a bad person. But he also doesn’t really know how to react to this information. He’s just surprised mostly
“No… I don’t think so? I don’t really know how to feel.” Tubbo sighed. “I just didn’t expect it.”
“…sorry”
“it’s ok! I just, didn’t take you as guy who’d smoke cigarettes.”
There was a pause.
“Oh I um… I don’t smoke cigarettes.” Replied Ranboo.
“What?”
“I smoke weed Toby.”
“oh. OH. Ok.”
There is a bit of an awkward silence after that.
Tubbo continues, “so, what’s it like?”
“Hmm?”
“Like, what’s it like to smoke- weed I guess?”
“Oh it’s uh kinda hard to explain because I don’t really know myself but…” the line goes silent like he’s contemplating how to word what he says next. “It’s like, you can literally feel the smoke inside you and it kinda hurts… but,” another pause. Then a slight chuckle. “well the entire process isn’t that great but it’s only after that it feels really good,” He sighs. "Like, you know how I have really bad anxiety?"
Tubbo hums in acknowledgment.
"Well when I smoke, I feel like, nothing can effect me ya know? Like I really only smoke when I'm about to go to sleep so no one else can bother me because I still can function when I'm high don't get me wrong but It's like a wave of anxiety and stress leaves my body only leaving the good stuff behind." He sighs again. "Its awesome"
"Oh wow." Tubbo remarks. "I wish I could feel that way."
"I mean..." Ranboo starts, "you always can."
"hmm?"
"Nevermind, it's nothing."
Tubbo didn't know how to reply to that so he said nothing.
The awkward silence built up until Ranboo spoke again.
"Well, I'm probably heading to bed, its getting late for me."
Tubbo knew that wasn't necessarily true because Ranboo was 6 hours behind him and it's only 1am now, but Tubbo didn't feel like doing the mental math so he just said, "Ok, I hope you sleep well! I'll talk to you tomorrow?" He asked hopefully.
He could here the smile in Ranboo's voice when he said, "definitely."
"Alright I'll talk to you later then."
"Goodnight Tubbo."
"Goodnight Ranboo."
Tubbo puts his mouse over the end call button and clicks.
***
3 MONTHS LATER
Ranboo, Tubbo, Tommy, Billzo, Aimsey, Serena, and Freddie are all staying in an AirB&B after a long day of vlogging in California.
It's late at night and Tubbo can't sleep.
He's tossed and turned and he just isn't tired. Its probably the time difference he tells himself, but he knows its actually his mind that's keeping him up. Stress and anxiety about streaming, and meetups and so much other stuff is finally getting to him.
He groans as he throws his blankets off of him again. He's too hot, too restless to sleep.
He sits up as he throws his feet off the bed. Maybe some water will cool him down.
He stand up and makes his way towards the kitchen. It's dark and quiet this time of night, the only noise being the hum of the AC and the light snoring of the others (mostly Tommy) through their doors.
In the kitchen he opens the fridge and he is bathed in a hash white light. He grabs the water bottle quickly before closing the door again, not wanting to see that light any longer then he needs to.
He takes a few sips as he thinks about what he needs to do tomorrow.
He shakes his head. No, he isn't going to stress out about it anymore. He has already prepared everything he needs to, there is nothing more he can do.
He sighs as he walks back to his room, hoping to go to sleep quickly even though he knows he won't sleep for the next few hours, when something catches his eye.
The staircase leading to the roof.
When the kids first got into the house they explored all of it, including the roof that none of them had any idea would be accessible.
Tubbo thinks about it for a moment before turning and starting to walk up the stairs. A little fresh air can hurt right?
He puts his hand on the doornob and turns, the door making a harsh groaning sound as he does so. But Tubbo also heard something else.
"Ah!"
Tubbo pears past the door to see a very scared Ranboo sitting against the giant AC unit. Then quickly once Ranboo saw Tubbo's face, his own turned soft.
"Oh it's just you." he smiles.
"Did- did you just yelp when I opened the door?"
Ranboo turns away in embarrassment. "Shut up." he grumbles. And Tubbo laughs.
Tubbo now takes a good look around him and admires the nighttime skyline in the distance. But the real thing that caught his attention this night was the stars. They were so bright out here for there being a lot of light pollution. He was amazed with how many more he can see here then in Bognor. Ranboo broke him out of his trance by speaking.
"Do you wanna sit down?" Tubbo peers down again to see Ranboo gesturing to the empty space next to him.
Tubbo smiles, "sure!"
As he walked closer is when he realized something. It doesn't smell good. Like something around them stinks. It's not a horrible smell Tubbo realizes, it's more of tickle in his nose that he can't scratch. But whatever it is, it's strong. He decides to ignore it for now.
"So... What're you doing out here?"
"Ah-I uh..." he studders before he sighs. "It's not like you don't already know..."
"Know what?"
Ranboo shows his left hand that was on the other side of Tubbo, he holds his hand up and Tubbo can see a little brown roll of paper with a bright orange glow at one end.
Tubbo is hit with many realizations at once. But the first thing he decides to say is, "Oh! So thats's what the smell is!"
Ranboo chuckles. "Yeah."
They sit in slilence after that. And Tubbo takes his time to admire the stars above. He doesn't know many constellations but that's ok for him. He doesn't need to know all about something to enjoy it. Just then, a shooting star goes by, and then another one right after that. That's right, Tubbo thinks. Tonight is a meteor shower.
He watches as each of the meteors fly by, and he finds himself envious of them.
He wishes he was a comet, burning up into the night, but he's just a satellite. Satellites are meant to be watched, meant to be observed 24/7, they never get a break, they operate with such vigor and yet only people with a passion like his can acknowledge it.
His thoughts are broken up when his vision is obscured by a cloud of smoke. He takes his eyes away from the meteor shower and the satellites, to see Ranboo with the paper up to his mouth, breath in, allowing the orange embers at the end to flare up brightly as he sucks in. Then after a few moments he removes the joint from his lips to then breath out another plume of smoke.
It's beautiful.
He finds himself staring at the taller without looking away. He just realizes that wow. He might be in love with this man. He thinks it could be love but he can't show him enough without letting him know his feelings. He wants to burn through the atmosphere with him and soar like meteors tonight.
Ranboo broke him out of his trance when he spoke up again.
“… do you want to try?”
Tubbo looked at Ranboo, he was facing away from the other, but held the joint out in an offer to him.
What? What!? Was Ranboo really offering Tubbo to try weed?
Tubbo contemplated. He knows first of all that he can say no and Ranboo would be fine with that. But also does he want to say no? Ever since he learned what it was, he's always wanted to partly try it out at least. Was he really about to do drugs right now?
You know what?
“Fuck it, sure.” He says out loud and takes the joint from Ranboo.
He sits there just looking at the burning joint in his hand. “So do I just like, inhale?”
“Yeah try not to breathe in too much but just enough till you feel the smoke in your mouth.”
Tubbo lets out a big exhale, alright he can do this.
He holds the joint up to his lips and inhales.
Initially he didn’t feel much. Then after a few seconds of breathing in he felt the smoke in his mouth go even lower into his chest. He could feel the smoke swirl around his lungs. It felt like a blanket of heat and air over his chest. It was comforting in a way, and he relished the feeling, before it suddenly felt like burning in his throat. It wasn’t painful so he just slowly exhaled the smoke, and watched it swirl around him. He wasn’t able to get it all out before he started coughing, which hurt more then the smoke itself. He let out as much as he could before setting the joint down and reached for the water bottle beside him. As he drank, Ranboo spoke up.
“Woah that was actually really good. I’ve never seen someone take their first hit that well.”
Tubbo gulped the water then turned to him incriminatingly. “But I still coughed?”
Ranboo shrugged. “Everyone does… but most people can barely breathe in any smoke before almost choking.” He chuckled.
Tubbo watched as Ranboo took the joint from the ground where Tubbo dropped it. Ranboo looked up into the sky and brought the paper up to his lips. The embers at the top burn a bright orange with the inhale. Ranboo seemed to relax even more as he held his breath. His eyes were closed as the air was still for a few seconds before he opened his eyes and mouth and let out a slow puff of smoke.
It was mesmerizing. The way the smoke disappeared into the night sky leaving behind the blanket of stars was beautiful.
The two didn’t talk again for a bit. Ranboo clearly relaxed enough to not really care about filling the silence, but even though Tubbo wasn’t “high” which, even if he was he really had no idea what it would be like so technically he might? He’s not really sure. But he feels normal for the most part he thinks. Except for the tingling feeling in his body and the fuzziness in his head.
Maybe he is high?
He ignores the thought. He doesn’t really care about if he’s high or not, all he really cares about right now is just being around Ranboo. As cheesy as that sounds, just being there with him is enough to keep him content.
He looks over at his best friend to find himself staring right back into those bright grey eyes.
Ranboo breaks the silence.
“So I want to try something if that’s ok.” He scoots a little closer to Tubbo.
He cocks his head to the side like a confused puppy. “Sure? What is it?”
Ranboo then breaks the eye contact, seemingly embarrassed?
“Have you heard of shotgunning?”
Tubbo in fact has heard of shotgunning, but he thinks he’s getting even more confused.
“Isn’t that the thing where you stab a beer can and drink it really fast?”
Ranboo chuckles. “I didn’t even realize they both are named the same thing, but yes that is one version of it I guess? But I’m talking about the smoking kind.”
“Oh well I haven’t heard of that then.”
“Ok, I’ll try to explain it.” He turns back to Tubbo a little more confident then before.
“So I would take a hit from the joint,” He gestures to the roll in his hand. “And instead of inhaling it, I would blow it into your mouth while you inhale.” He kinda gets quieter at that last part, Tubbo notices.
But Tubbo is intrigued. He thinks its a bit odd but everything about Ranboo is a bit odd, and that’s one of the reasons why he likes him so much.
“That sounds cool!” He says cheerfully.
Ranboo grins. “Ok. Ok cool.” He clears his throat before looking to Tubbo again. “Ok so we have to get a lot closer.” And he scoots forward again.
Tubbo does the same until their knees are touching.
Ranboo looks away again bashfully? Tubbo thinks? He has no idea why but he doesn’t question it.
“Ok. Ok.” Ranboo repeats again. He returns eye contact. “Ready?”
Tubbo nods with a “mhm!”
Ranboo then brings the joint up to his lips and takes a long drag before leaning closer to Tubbo. A lot closer then Tubbo expected. He almost wanted to recoil but he remains still. He stares into his crushes eyes to see his eyes are heavy lidded and slightly red even in the dark light of the sky illuminating them.
Then Ranboo exhaled. He is close enough to actually feel the heat of the breath on his face.
Tubbo quickly opens his mouth and starts to inhale. He feels the same sensation of the smoke swirling around his lungs, and it feels good. He closes his eye to just relish the feeling.
Once he can’t breathe in anymore he holds his breath for a few seconds before exhaling slowly.
He opens his eyes again.
“Wow.” He says.
“Yeah.” Ranboo replies. He had pulled a bit away at that point but he is still close enough to be way into Tubbos personal space. He finds that he doesn’t mind it so much.
“Can we do that again?” Tubbo asks.
“Yeah.”
He once again pulled the joint to his lips and took an even longer drag. Then he turns to Tubbo and does something he didn’t expect. Ranboo takes his free hand and puts it under Tubbos chin, raising it slightly.
Tubbo felt his eyes flutter.
Ranboo then exhales slowly, letting Tubbo take in all the smoke. Once he breathes it all in he lets it back out into the night air.
“One more time?” Ranboo asks and Tubbo feels weightless.
“Yes.”
Ranboo is still holding onto Tubbos chin and this time he pulled him even closer then before. Tubbo closed his eyes as he parted his lips slightly awaiting the feeling of smoke, when he felt the tiniest brush of a lip against his. He tried not to gasp because holy shit holy shit was that technically a kiss? When he inhaled for the gasp however is when Ranboo blew the smoke into his mouth. Tubbo welcomed the now familiar feeling into his lungs.
Once he exhaled again, he opened his eyes to see Ranboo staring directly at him. He found himself looking down at Ranboos lips for a split second. Trying to process if that really just happened. And he realizes that he wants those lips on his even more then before.
He peers back up to Ranboo who still hasn’t broken the eye contact and Tubbo didn’t want to look away this time. He feels like he can get lost in those eyes. And he’s never want to leave. It’s so warm.
The only sounds to be heard is the gentle hum of the AC vents for the building below, the crickets chirping and the slight heavy breathing of both boys. Occasionally a car would honk or a crow would caw but they don’t care.
Tubbo is the first to speak.
“Hey.” He says barely above a whisper.
“Hey.” Ranboo smiles.
“Do you think… I can try?”
Ranboo nods slightly before passing the roll to Tubbo.
He lifts the paper to his mouth and starts to suck in. Once he thinks he has enough he sets the joint down and peers back into his best friend’s eyes.
Should he really do this?
Is this really the right thing?
What if he’s wrong?
Fuck it all.
Tubbo leans forward and connects his and Ranboos lips together.
And they both melt.
Ranboo sinks into the kiss and immediately kisses back.
Tubbo tenderly reaches behind his head to pull him closer as did Ranboo to the small of his back.
After a few good seconds of them barely moving their lips (not really knowing how to do it), Tubbo pulls them apart suddenly, but gently. And Tubbo immediately starts coughing. Smoke shoots out of his mouth with each wheeze.
And Ranboo…
Ranboo starts laughing. It’s a joyful wholehearted laugh that makes Tubbo looks at him bewildered at what the fuck is happening.
He leans forward again and shoves Ranboo carefully but firmly.
“What the hell!?” He coughs again, “we cant just do that and then laugh at me!”
Ranboo drags his hand over his face like he is his wiping tears away. “I know, I know I’m sorry.” He is still laughing.
“No you’re not asshole!” He says lightheartedly. And shoved Ranboo again.
“Im sorry! Im sorry!” He’s laughing even harder now.
Now Tubbo is laughing too. He can’t help it Ranboo laugh is just so contagious.
He leans into Ranboos arm while both of their giggling calms down eventually.
They both breathe a big sigh once they calm down.
They look to eachother again.
“So…” Tubbo says hesitantly.
“So?” Ranboo replies.
“Did you… was- was that ok?”
“Yeah.” He pauses for a moment. “It was more then just ok.”
“Really?”
“Want me to prove it to you?”
Ranboo lowers his head slowly and plants a gentle kiss onto Tubbo. When he pulls away he says,
“More then ok.”
Then he pulls Tubbo in close into a sort of hug so they could cuddle on the rooftop.
Tubbo closes his eyes to just enjoy the warmth of not only Ranboo but the summer air as well. He could feel the rise and fall of Ranboos chest and it felt so nice just to be in the moment. He didn’t want to ruin it but something was worrying him. What does this mean. Like he just kissed his best friend. And his best friend reciprocated, enthusiastically if he might add. But was this just a one time thing? Just a thing that felt good for both of them and to never do it again? Or worse would Ranboo want to keep doing this yet never feeling the same way that Tubbo does?
All of these worries and more kept popping up into his head and he didn’t know what to do.
Ranboo much have felt his worry though because he spoke up.
“Are you ok?”
“What does this mean? For us.” He says suddenly.
Ranboo was quiet for a bit after that question, it seemed he didn’t really know either. But then he finally spoke up.
“Ok so I’m going to be honest with you.”
Tubbo looks at him in the eyes. He seemed to be very nervous and Tubbo didn’t know why.
Ranboo lets out a deep breath. “I- I like you Toby. And I have for a really long time and I really want to go on dates with you and keep kissing you and just, I know you might not feel the same way and that’s ok! But I just want to tell you that I really do want to be your boyfriend!”
Oh. /Oh/
Tubbo is shocked. He doesn't know how to respond. Because, oh my god.
Ranboo must have read the look on his face because he suddenly turns away, and quietly says, "I'm sorry." and then he sniffles.
Oh no, Tubbo is not about to let him think he doesn't reciprocate his feelings.
He takes his hand and softly places it on Ranboos cheek and turns him towards himself.
He's crying. Ranboo is crying.
Large tears fall from his eyes as he tries to look away from the other. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeats. "God I'm pathetic."
"Hey, look at me."
Ranboo keeps his eyes glued to the side.
"Look at me." Tubbo repeats again.
Finally Ranboo huffs through his crying and turns to Tubbo.
Tubbo smiles and pulls Ranboo forward with the hand still on his cheek and he kisses him on the lips.
He pulls them apart and lets their foreheads touch with his eyes closed.
"I like you too. I've always liked you, and I don't think that will ever change. He opens his eyes to see Ranboo's eyes are even more wet now. "And, I would love to be your boyfriend."
And Ranboo sobs.
Tubbo just pulls him into a hug and lets him cry. And Tubbo soon feels the wetness of his own tears on his face.
And they both cry their tears of sadness, happiness and emotional exhaustion.
As the meteors flew overhead.