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The room was quiet and the air still, only the sound of the waves crashing against the edges of the ship broke the silence. Elben could’ve sworn that the midnight hush was a spell, too afraid to break it in case of the consequences. He shifted in bed slightly, being unable to get a proper night's sleep for a while now, especially with being seasick, looking around the room through squinted eyes. The cabin he inhabited was dark, only the slightest hints of moonlight shone through the cracks of the planks above him. He turned on his itchy cot to gaze at his cat, Alavor, who decided upon himself to bring himself on the journey with Elben.
Alavor was laying on a blanket on the floor, having thought the dinky cot not good enough to grace with his presence. Alavor pulled himself into a very small pile, his paws holding his head close to his chest, the only hint of him still being alive was the occasional rise and fall of his side as he breathed.
Elben turned his gaze away from Alavor, although Elben certainly wanted companionship at the moment, Alavor would most certainly ignore him in favor of more sleep.
Alavor never ignored Amelia however, Elben thought, his blank expression turning into a grimace instantly. He pushed his hands onto his face and groaned, maybe a feeble attempt to keep his emotions inside it.
Why he was here on the ship, why he and Alavor were sleeping in an unfamiliar place, why they had encountered complete strangers who did not care for them, why they went on this journey in the first place; Amelia.
Elben had come for Amelia, and yet, she wasn’t here.
After all this time, his sister had to cheat him out of the one thing he wanted most, to bring her safely back home.
Elben angrily bonked his head against the wooden wall as he recalled everything that brought him to this moment.
It was four years ago that it all started, the last time he saw Amelia. She was headed out to the market, but she never returned. Their family was worried sick and Elben, despite only being fourteen, led the search parties, looking for his sister day and night. Their dad constantly searched the outskirts of the village, and often even farther, while their mom put up bounties wishing for Amelia’s return, the prices going higher and higher.
It had only been five months when Elben spotted his mom taking down the posters, he was confused and angry at his mother’s actions, when his father told him that it was very unlikely that Amelia would return safe at this point. Elben begged his mom to leave the posters up, and she reluctantly did, they only served as a sour reminder of what they had lost now.
Even with Amelia gone, time doesn’t stop for anyone, and so Elben was forced to march on. He had become Alavor’s primary caregiver, a position that used to be Amelia’s, and he took his battle training more seriously. Elben quickly became a dependable force in his village and he wore that honor with pride, often accepting tasks and requests from the other villagers and carrying them out with the aid of his father. Elben kept his life bright with laughter and smiles and jokes, but it never stopped the darkness clawing at his heart.
Amelia’s disappearance kept affecting their family even so long after. Right when Amelia went missing, their mother became a recluse, always quiet and sad, only going to work before shutting herself into her room. Their father tried to bond with Elben almost every day, but Elben could see that his father was just afraid and trying to fill the void that Amelia left. On the night of Elben’s seventeenth birthday, his mother had sat him down and made him promise to stay at the village, to not run off like Amelia. Elben promised.
It bothered Elben for many months after, his mother’s words, almost as if she knew more about Amelia’s disappearance than she was letting on. He bugged her every week about it, their conversations becoming snappy and harsh while their relationship soured.
Eventually one day, Elben took it too far, he broke into his mother’s room while she was inside. He instantly regretted it as she was crying, attempting to comfort her instead, but she rejected him, yanking her arms around herself instead. “The guilt has been eating me up inside,” she had said, “I know where your sister has gone, she has left to chase after Uvior Rollant.”
Any pity Elben had for his mother vanished in a heartbeat, storming out of the room and packing his bags. His mother screamed after him, “What are you doing?!” she had exclaimed, as his father tried to take his belongings away from the half-elf.
Elben tore away from his parents with a dark expression on his face, “I’m going after Amelia, of course.” That was when Elben sped out of the house and eventually the village. Hiding in a bush while catching his breath on the outskirts of the village is when Elben noticed Alavor chasing after him, Elben didn’t want to bring Alavor on such a mission but there was no way to return him back home without getting caught, so Elben scooped him up in his bag and ran off into the night.
Elben could feel his eyebrows pushing against each other as he thought back on his family so he relaxed his face. He kicked the bedding off of him, the memories making him too hot with anger.
After that whole fiasco, Elben had traveled to Liene to find Uvior Rollant, where he discovered that Liaison Rollant had sent Amelia off on a quest, that was also where he met Donk-
Dolmond, he corrected himself with a scoff, the resentment boiling up inside him again as he thought of the druid.
Dolmond, who said they had been traveling with Amelia not too long ago, after a justified cursing out towards Liaison Rollant, they had set off on their way towards Liene Kingdom. On that short journey they had bonded, become good and close friends, who confided in one another. Dolmond even promised to bring Elben to Amelia. Before deserting him with more strangers who had also been wronged by them. Running off to find the killer of his kids.
It’s not that Elben didn’t feel bad for Dolmond, of course he did, but it didn’t excuse their actions. Leaving Elben all alone with an unfamiliar group of people and an all too familiar sense of grief.
Because when they had encountered the new party of travelers, while cursing Dolmond out, they let slip that Amelia had fled this mortal plane, only having her bag with them.
Elben could feel hot tears forming in the corners of his eyes, he viciously wiped them away. There would be time to grieve later.
Elben thought of the group he traveled with now, being too afraid to return home empty-handed. There was Dolmond, of course, the eldest he presumed. A druid parent with a troubling past, who was also a tree-folk. Elben was certainly startled by them at first, not having seen a tree-folk in person before. Elben still harbored feelings of resentment towards them but he could feel them fading if he were honest, which made him mad, he shouldn’t forgive so easily.
There was Mirage, the second eldest, they were also an elf of some kind, already being a few hundred years old. Elben snickered, finding a person he had somewhat common ground with was nice. They were a bit snippy and if they weren’t, they were snappy. She seemed to thrive on intimidation, not that it particularly worked on him.
There was also Sanders, a young human who was only a year older than himself. The poor paladin seemed to jump at everything, if he wasn’t angered that is, then they’d be jumping to attack. It was hard to get a read on Sanders, honestly seeming a little pathetic at times, but not bad. He was also the Prince of Liene Kingdom? Elben wasn’t sure, he didn’t really pay attention to the dramas of the party, preferring to turn his attention to Alavor when it occurred.
Lastly there was Fern, Elben wasn’t certain about anything that concerned Fern. They couldn’t speak, wore a blank expression most of the time, and were pretty bright for their age. Sanders had taken a liking to Fern and Elben couldn’t help but appreciate the kid’s presence, they reminded him of Amelia when she was their age.
Amelia… Elben sighed bitterly as her name fluttered through his mind again.
It wasn’t fair, how could she do this to him? To disappear and then to die right when he was so close to finding her, he was beginning to doubt if the Elf Deities would’ve let this happen, or if they existed at all.
Elben thought- he was hoping-
He lightly punched himself on the head to get his thoughts in order.
If Amelia had come home, perhaps everything could’ve gone back to normal. Hell, even if she wanted to stay by Uvior Rollant’s side, at least seeing her would’ve brought him some peace of mind. But Elben got neither, he got a dead sister who’s corpse he couldn’t even see and a family even more broken because of him.
What was he to do now?
Traveling with this band of weirdos would only suffice for so long, he wasn’t even sure if he liked them, or if they liked him. What was the point of staying?
If he returned to the village? Would he continue with his duties like nothing happened? Just grow old in his hometown, pretending as if Amelia never existed?
Elben clenched his teeth together as his expression contorted into a whirlwind of different emotions. Gripping his ears with his hands, he twisted in bed, trying to get the anguish inside of him out in the quietest way possible.
He could try and confide in the party but what was the point? They were only lugging him around because he refused to leave, treating him like Amelia’s replacement, and besides, the last time he confided in one of these jerks, he was left alone in his darkest moment.
Elben jerked and sat up in bed, unable to pretend to sleep for any longer. He kicked on his boots and walked out of the dark cabin, he could hear Alavor scampering after him, probably having woken him up. He walked to the side of the boat, leaning on the edge to watch the water, Alavor climbed up his body like a tree before resting on the ship's ledge.
The moon barely lit his surroundings, making the water shine grey like the pelts of wolves. Elben sighed and rested his head on his arms, even if being out here made him seasick again, it was a better feeling than the despairing emptiness he was experiencing now.
Alavor pawed at his elbow, meowing impatiently, his dark fur was also shining in the moonlight pleasantly. Elben sighed as he looked at the abnormally small cat, Alavor had thought Amelia dead for many years already, clinging to Elben like a lifeline, the only difference now is that he was right.
Elben brushed his hand over Alavor’s pelt a few times, Alavor purring as he did, it made Elben feel a bit better.
No one else was out on the deck at the moment, probably resting as he should be, but he knew he couldn’t sleep at this rate. It had been hard to sleep when his every thought went to Amelia and how he had failed her. If he had only been faster to Uvior Rollant, if he had broken his mom a little sooner, if he had gone after Amelia the day she went to the market, if he had not begged to adopt Alavor from the shelter. Would any of it have changed anything? Or was this all doomed to be true?
Elben couldn’t live with the reality either way.
