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With each shuddering breath he drew in, a new wave of tears rolled down his face. Billy was rocking back and forth on the floor of the closet, a candle at his feet illuminating the little room.
His throat felt like it was long since closed, and he could hardly breathe, but he was focused on the crashing noises at the windows, the flash he’d see underneath the door before each one, and the face that Frank was still out.
He’d gone out to grab a few things for dinner, and then the storm rolled in, and Billy didn’t know what to do. Usually, Frank was here to hold his hands, ground him with small sensory things and draw his mind away from the thunder claps. But this time, he was alone.
His hands gripped the fabric of Frank’s hoodie that wrapped around his frame until his knuckles turned white and his fingers hurt, although he was too scared to let go, lest he should jump out of his skin when the next wave of thunder rumbled through the air.
By the time Billy felt ready to get up, a knock on the closet door got him to fall back on his ass, and he nearly tipped over the candle. He had yelped when Frank opened the door, an apologetic look in those big dark eyes of his. The older of the two knelt down, and held out his hands, before carefully lifting his little one over the small flames, and taking him into the bedroom, where he’d set out a couple more candles.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you,” he sighed, and a few moments passed. “I’m so sorry I left, sweetheart.”
Billy just cried a little, a whimper leaving him as he ran his hands through Frank’s wet hair. He thought about everything they’d been through overseas, and at boot camp, and he realized that this could be so much worse, but he was still shaken to his core whenever lightning flashed and the subsequent booms followed.
Frank got in some warm pajamas after drying his hair, and he sat with Billy on the bed, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him close. He pressed kisses to his head, and rocked side to side with him, trying to bring him some comfort and possibly distract him from the storm. It only worked so well, though, and Billy started scratching at the backs of his hands over and over until Frank grabbed them both, and gave him a rather stern look.
“You know better. Scratch me instead.”
“I… I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“That’s the point. I don’t want you getting hurt either, Billy.” His eyes softened, and he sighed, kissing his boy on the forehead while they swayed side to side. Frank knew they’d been through worse, but seeing Billy in any sort of pain still tore him up inside, and he wouldn’t stand by and watch it anymore.
Billy seemed to get it, though, and he just curled up in Frank’s lap, his sobs having quieted down to little sniffles by now. He fell into a more comfortable headspace, one where he seemed like he could’ve been more of Frank’s son rather than his boyfriend, but neither of them cared, and Frank was happy to be there for him regardless. He didn’t mind when Billy would put his thumb in his mouth or wear plush pajamas and carry around a little bear he was given on their anniversary, or when he’d throw a fit or cry in the middle of the night, or when he’d pout until he got whatever sweet he was pleading for. Frank loved him through and through, and he enjoyed the slight responsibility to take care of Billy he felt. It reminded him of Maria and the kids, and provided some release for the feelings he still had built up inside. He called him his baby boy, and Frank nearly choked the first time he got called daddy, but it became a thing of comfort, and he rewrote his ideas behind the nickname one by one, each time Billy would bat those black eyes and sway a little, and go, “ Daddy, please… ”
Nothing made Frank happier.
They fell asleep like that, with Frank’s back to the headboard, and Billy’s head on that plush chest of Frank’s, a handful of his shirt between his fingers, and a soft smile on his lips. Both of them were at peace once the thunder subsided, and soft pitter-patter replaced it. The lights of the city bounced off of each rain drop, and cast racing shadows across their bedroom, and Frank couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer if he’d wanted to, but Billy had already drifted off, and he knew things would be alright.