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Ancient ruins sprawled in the depths of the ocean, housing a pair of trolls for the first time in millenia. It caught their treasonous dialogue as if in a time capsule. The walls, built like a clown cathedral, reverberated them into echoes - echoing like the presence of the ghosts that Feferi said she had felt when she and Aradia had taken a trip together to this place - weeks? a month? a lifetime ago.
The water was surprisingly clear and cool - these ruins weren't close to any factory exhaust pipes or desalination plants, Karkat guessed. His hometown had fallen victim to the former when he was younger, prompting him and his neighbors to move deeper, towards the colder Western Ocean. He was fine with it, back when his blood was still violet. Then he started shivering, started freezing, joints locking despite his efforts or hurting when he forced himself to move regardless-
A chill ran through his spine at the memory. He holstered his cane on his belt and hugged himself, squeeze , done.
And yet, he must be visibly distressed, because Aradia suddenly asked him, "Are you feeling the ghosts?"
"No, Your Highness," Karkat answered. He felt cold again. But he had to watch the ruins for intruders, keep Aradia safe, so no more hugging, Ampora . "Just… memories."
"They're definitely abundant here," said Aradia in her “historian” voice. Apparently she had not noticed his distress after all. That suited him. And she deserved to not constantly worry about him. She had saved him from culling; he owed it to her to be cooperative. "Places with history are always full of memories. And with that, spirits of the departed, formed by those memories… and strengthened by their passion!"
"And with spirits and passion, there must be magic?" Karkat guessed. "Which can cause distress to the uninitiated?"
Aradia smiled brightly. "Of course!"
For someone with no psychic powers, Aradia studied magic like her life depended on it. Feferi Megido, like the optimist she was, encouraged her, made her think she could unlock some hidden potential because "magic isn't just in the blood", apparently. Feferi had taken her to various ruins to explore, to abandoned buildings and secret libraries Imperial propaganda couldn't touch. Karkat may not believe it like they both did, but he loved seeing Aradia so full of joy (both alone and with Feferi), passion burning as she recited the hidden history of caste solidarity of Alternia, of intercaste romances, of Lime-blood journals, of forbidden psionics.
(Once, he'd asked Feferi to smuggle him one of those journals. Not for himself, but for… yes. She'd accepted, and he remembered himself and him reading them in an abandoned hive… okay, stop, Ampora, you're treading on dangerous territory here.)
Of course, in the present, Aradia wasn't really talking about Karkat's memories (And it's fine, he didn't want to dwell on them) - her focus was fully on a statue of a four-armed troll with a curvaceous body. He watched his friend trail his hands on the gold areas between the deep obsidian of the rest of the statue - face… neck, then dipping into the collarbones… the curve of now-broken horns… the grooves of even more sensitive gills… almost the entire torso - conveniently, they were located on places one would touch when mating.
Memories, indeed!
A pair of gloved fists clenched, tightening the hold of hidden wrist braces. And Karkat rolled his eyes. He had no interest in mating, not when the last nookstain he tried it with left him in the dirt. Water. Whatever.
Suddenly he felt the weight of his bangs, dyed Vivacious Violet Waterproof Semi-Permanent Spray Pigment.
That way we can match, the voice of a traitor whispered, Lustrous Lime and Vivacious Violet!
"Why are you so interested in this place?" Karkat asked Aradia, brushing back his fringe. Fucking hair can't grow fast enough, he wanted to tuck it behind his ear but couldn't. He settled with clenching his fists. "Is this not some sort of brothel?"
"This isn't just a brothel!" Aradia exclaimed, launching herself to squeeze his shoulders, "This was the rec room for the Empress' consorts, from back when adults still lived here!"
Karkat crossed his arms over his chest. "Ugh, disgusting."
"Come on, Lieutenant Ampora, mating isn't disgusting." Aradia wiggled her eyebrows, a giggle threatening to break through her mock-serious facade. "I'd mate with you."
A lift of the chin, a tighter arm-cross. He couldn't let her see how heat was pooling inside him.
"Mating is not disgusting, imagining your ancestor filling the bucket is." He paused to look into her eyes - still twinkling, with a hint of that hunger he'd seen with Vantas. Was she serious about that proposition? She was not, probably. Why would she be? He was considering celibacy already. He had too many demands that no rational person would be willing to fulfill. "And why would you stain your bloodline with mine?"
"I don't care about any of that stuff," Aradia said. Her tone had turned gentle, so did her eyes - her right hand moved to caress his face, settling in to cup his jawline. "Not your caste, and not your disability, Kar."
.
.
.
"…Vantas, I need to stop." The block that passed for a table was rock-hard and the air was dry and there was not enough buoyancy force carrying his weight. "My back is failing me."
Why hadn’t they tried to do it on the recuperacoon? Why hadn’t Karkat asked for it? His palms ached. His lungs couldn’t expand wide enough. And to be fair, Eridan had disassembled his rifle on it because he’d wanted to replace the bullets with “Captor’s stun blaster bolts”, but-
"Whaaaat?" Eridan's face under his was scandalized. Of course he wouldn't make this kind of expression with Kanaya Captor, would he? "You wanna rest so soon?"
Captor must have high stamina, Karkat thought bitterly.
"We're on land, you imbecile." Unsaid was: my arms hurt, I can't hold this position anymore, I can't lead this, I can't-
"Oh… right. Your lot needs water."
Eridan started muttering about swimming pools and how lowbloods couldn't afford them. But Karkat needed more than just water, actually, he needed a certain - too small - interval of temperature and- Stop . Why waste time listing your needs- no, excuses! to a land-dweller? Even other sea-dwellers don't listen to you.
"Maaaan," Eridan moaned, oblivious to the conflict in your thinkpan. "I don't even have a bathbasin! Let's just cuddle, do you want that?"
.
.
.
A lump, replacing the heat, tightened Karkat's throat. "You will regret that when you see generations of mutant freaks getting culled for being weak like me, Your Highness."
The finwebs between Aradia's fingers followed the ebb and flow of the currents, like soft curtains in the wind, teasing the skin of his cheek. He shuddered under her touch, legs weakening, figuratively melting into liquid barely thicker than the ocean.
A pair of gloved hands - his hands - found themselves on the small of Aradia's back, settling on the belt of her practical explorer-garb. Warm… like falling into a spell, if he could borrow Aradia's words…
Aradia's face closed into his, leaning tantalizingly to almost touching his gills.
"Pull me closer," Her voice was low, deep, tender. "But only if you want."
The spell did not break. He thought talking would break the spell, like it had with Vantas, but… the way she asked for his desires…
Karkat wanted to do more. To explore this… possibility, to test the waters, so to speak. This was the ideal place to mate… the sea was cool but not frigid, salty but not brine… Sequestered in a room of desire, it was like the ghosts stoked his desire like a fan to a flame-
He pulled her closer. Tight. Aradia must be able to feel the clasps of his back brace on his stomach. He had to ask. He could, he could, he wasn't drying half to death here. "Am I too rough? Is my back brace too hard?"
"No, and no," Aradia said, her other hand cupping his other cheek. "Am I too rough? I don't want you to overwork yourself."
He was a little sore from driving her here (your fault, Ampora, you could've accepted her offer to drive, but nooooo- shut up!), but otherwise, it was within the parameters of his ability. "No."
The spell still enveloped them, Aradia didn't recoil from his broken, undesirable form. The ghosts - it must be the ghosts, Aradia wasn't… She wouldn't… - raised goosebumps under his clothes. But if the spell wasn't broken yet, could he…?
"But I…" His legs begged for reprieve. "I need to… sit down… if that pleases you. Your Highness."
Excuses! His brain snapped. She'll leave you, she'll be disappointed… like everyone else, like him…
"Let's sit on that platform," Aradia said, playful but husky, pointing at the raised floor under the statue of the four-armed troll.
It was low, and it was a hard floor with cracks as ruins were, but it would do for now… he'd asked for so much already. "Very well…"
"Let me carry you," Aradia offered. "You should swim, not walk."
Still in shock at her lack of disappointment, he let her lead him, hoist him by the shoulder, drifting like a submarine in the waves, until she gently set him down at the foot of the statue. Slowly, he put himself in a sitting position, legs outstretched, his footfins swaying gently.
"You can lean on the legs of the statue if you're tired," she said. He did lean, now, and parted his legs, a cue for her to sit in between. Aradia did so, kind of - not so much sitting but swimming, floating above his legs with her eyes the same level as his.
Ghosts, more ghosts unclenched his muscles, or maybe it was the spell of being with his friend… maybe the eyes that held no trace of pity nor scandalized surprise, causing heat to spread inside him and tears bubbling in his chest and threatening to break through the dam of his eyes…
He couldn't cry. He could not. And yet his dam broke, and tears, viscous and an awful shade, mingled with the ocean surrounding them. The spell must be broken… right?
Right?
"I'm sorry," Aradia said instead, full of concern - the spell of desire waned a little, but he still felt exceedingly warm inside. "Did I hurt you?"
"No," Karkat choked out. He couldn't cry more. He couldn't even meet her eyes, he was looking at her nose now, but he put his hands on her cheeks and… oh, how he wanted to take his gloves off and feel her skin on his fingers…
"Do you want to kiss me?"
Karkat had to look into her eyes again. They had never kissed before. Never even held hands properly. Tears were flowing freely out of his eyes, the wrong wrong wrong red soon diluted by the ocean… he hated it, and yet she didn't comment, she didn't say they were supposed to be violet- her eyes weren't tearful, but they seemed misty, and a blush of fuchsia dusted her cheeks. He didn't want to make her cry too! And… and her lips- her lips! He looked at them… how they were slightly parted, inviting… it was inappropriate for him, a lowly mutant bodyguard worth less than culling material, to court the Imperial heiress, but-
"Yes," he said breathlessly. "Yes."
He pulled her closer and she slowly descended and his lips crashed into hers, undignified, nose pinched hurt-! But- he was taken by how soft her lips were, and how she'd descended to sit between his legs and- warm, warm her hands on his back, he pushed her close to him too and focused on the kiss… her lips, her teeth, crashed awkwardly as they tried to find a good- he had to tilt his head, his nose was too long, but he finally found the right angle.
Her lips were fuller than his, a plush spell capturing his nibbling on her upper- she nibbled back, hungry, gaping open and close, teeth hitting his lower lip a bit…
Breathless, heaving despite the abundance of water, he gently pushed her away.
She frowned. "Was it painful?"
"I just need to catch my breath," he gasped out. His heart thundered inside his chest. "But it was good. It was great, to- to kiss you."
Impulsive. Hotblooded. Undignified. What kind of Violetblood are you, Ampora?
Laughter, light and melodious like windchimes, blessed his ears and washed away the insidious whispers in his head- He was getting sentimental, it must be the ghosts. Must be Aradia's magic studies catching up to him.
"Aww, thank you, Kar," she smiled softly, "It was nice to kiss you, too. I've been… waiting."
Karkat froze. "Wh- you- you've been waiting to kiss me?!"
"Yeah," she replied, scooting to sit on his side, and leaned on his chest. His ribs hurt, but he wasn't going to complain. Not when she might stay! As she nestled herself between his chest, he tentatively put a hand on the back of her head, caressing her shoulder-length hair.
Unworthy, his mind whispered. He quickly thought of something, anything, to say, to silence it.
"Did you…" Karkat ventured, his voice missing all the confidence he tried to inject, "Take me all the way back to Alternia, despite our exile, just for a meager kiss?" Astonishing. Insane. Grubsuckingly irrational.
"It's not just a 'meager kiss'! We're committing high treason on the statue of Her Imperious Condescension," Aradia corrected, tickling his chest with her mouth speaking on it. Thank fuck he was wearing clothes and he was underwater so he didn't need his lungs right now. "And I'm not just talking about our intercaste friendship or the magic, Kar."
He stopped running his hand through Aradia's hair. "What do you mean?"
Aradia sat up cross-legged, her gaze steely. "I want to postpone my ritual duel."
Karkat's heart hitched. The spell was finally broken. And- and he couldn't even find any words except- "What?!"
"You know damn well I'll lose to her," Aradia said grimly, hair whipping in the currents - at that moment, with a dark shadow cast over her face, he was almost reminded of the Empress in the height of her tyrannical rage. "I'm not dying at nine sweeps old, thank you very much! I'm not going to leave you alone!"
The last part got Karkat's heart spinning, but the other things she'd said were more pressing.
"Is that even legal? You are at the age of majority, and a royalblood." He wondered. He knew it was unfair, that nine-sweep-old Fuchsia trolls had to face the ancient and insanely more experienced Empress, but- "I do not wish for you to die because you ask to delay it, either!"
"You know what shouldn't be legal? Fuchsia trolls being sent to die far before their maturity!"
"Far before their maturity…?" Karkat repeated. That couldn't be, could it? That couldn't possibly be true. That would mean… that would mean-!
"Yes, Kar." Aradia's eyes had started burning bright. "We may be adults, we may be able to make wise decisions. But we're not the age of biological maturity! Look at our skin, we're still light gray and she's already dark! The Empress culls premature trolls for shits and giggles so she can rule forever!"
Before Karkat could give her his thoughts, Aradia continued, "You know Fuchsiabloods lived to 100 thousand sweeps at the shortest?! I read that with Feferi, I saw it with my own eyes, we have archeological proof!" She outstretched her arms to show him the scope of it, scope he couldn't even imagine.
"A hundred thousand sweeps! Our powers probably get to their peak when we're a few thousand sweeps old, but most of us die at nine, Karkat! I'm not going to join them!"
She was breathless, heaving, less because of the lack of oxygen and more from the energy she'd exerted. Her hands were on her knees, her earfins standing up straight, as stiff as the squareness of her shoulders. Her form was up. Down. Up, down. Her fuchsia gills were open wide.
"I'm going to live through my entire lifespan," Aradia huffed, her eyes darkening, "And I don't care what I have to do to get there. I want to help people. If only they took us as promised…"
She deflated right then and there.
And Karkat realized just how self-centered he was. He had not thought much of how she must feel… he knew she was disappointed, but he'd never ask himself, or her: why would Eridan - why would the Signless Revolution - leave Aradia? Of course, they'd leave him because of his ailments. But Aradia was healthy, able-bodied, and passionate for the abolition of the caste system! She had royal intel, too!
"Why the hell did they even leave you here?!" he yelled at no one in particular. "Unlike me, you have everything! Information, skills, powers…"
"Our ancestors," Aradia cut in, sharp and merciless. "They left us here because of our ancestors."
Aradia's ancestor was the Empress of Alternia. Karkat's had been her most trusted admiral, leading campaigns to subjugate aquatic planets at her whim.
"That is impossible," Karkat retorted, "They would not define themselves by their ancestors, but they define us by ours?"
"It's not impossible - people tend to be more suspicious of highbloods, for good reason!" Aradia debated. "My ancestor is still alive and you know what she does. Yours is- well, was - kind of a bitch. And if… if what I read with Feferi was right…"
"What?" Karkat demanded. He'd leaned forward, hungry for answers. "What did you read with her? Is he alive? Was he like me, too?"
"No, no," she reassured him, quickly squeezing his shoulders. He loosened. Grumbled swears under his breath. She sighed.
"He was… the books all said he was a Violetblood, and lived to be a hundred and fifty thousand sweeps old. Give or take a few." She paused and looked at her lap, uncomfortable. "None of them… none said he… struggled like you're struggling now."
Of course.
"He, as a… an agent of the Empire… conquered entire planetary systems. Including our neighboring star systems, the Trappt and the Ninewi. He… helped eradicate the Limebloods."
Of fucking course, Karkat thought, feeling a cold that had nothing to do with his location. She only confirmed what he'd already known. He looked down to his hands, at the unreliable digits beneath the armored gauntlets. No wonder I can't live up to his standards. But… if I'm too crippled to invade planets, why wouldn't they take me? Not even as a beloved mutantblood mascot? The Second Sufferer? Is it because my ancestor committed genocide on Eridan's entire caste?
His eyes, then, flitted to the Sign of Aquarius stitched on the trim of his gauntlets. He swore another blue streak under his breath, wishing Dualscar's spirit a most unpleasant afterlife.
"Hey," Aradia said. "It's okay."
"It's not," Karkat muttered. "Not even having the same blood as their holy messiah made me worthy in their eyes."
He paused.
The ocean was deceptively still, the only sign of life the swaying plant life, the movement of fish and… was that a lusus? He saw the behemoth glow, momentarily, before swimming away, possibly to demand to be fed by some Violet kid. It reminded him of his wigglerhood, taking care of his lusus until it couldn't recognize him anymore.
But it no longer mattered. He didn't even miss it. He refocused on his friend. "And how about you, Aradia?"
He wanted to apologize - I'm sorry I never asked after you for a month, I'm sorry for being a terrible friend - but the words died at the tip of his tongue. He choked, heaving. His heart clenched, clenched, it hurt, and all he could manage was- "How do you feel about being left in this cullingnook by those grubfuckers?"
Aradia's face, once more, turned a fiery pink. Her hands fell to the ground, and she scratched at the ruins' floor, eroding the weakened tiles bit by bit.
"I just want to move on," she sighed. "I just want to… survive, and help people. I want to free slaves and save workers and feed the trolls who need it."
"The Condesce wouldn't like your much-needed gesture," Karkat said. He wanted to hold her tightly, to reassure her and squeeze and shoosh and pap her worries away, but… that was the duty of a moirail, he couldn't, he was just a friend - not even a close one! - just a bodyguard, just a whiny nobody with too many excuses… What could he do? What could… oh!
"You need a plan," he settles. "A plan that allows you to serve the people of Alternia without violating your exile. A plan so evil, your ancestor would agree to duel you in the faroff future."
Aradia's lips pursed into a determined line. She scratched more of the floor, eroding, digging, digging…
Karkat took that time to think. What could be a good excuse for her to go down to their home planet? Keeping the ruffianihilators and archeradicators in line? But it was the Purple caste's job. Maybe they could use the facade of keeping the subjugglators? The clown church? In line…? Did they even welcome outsiders?
"Inspections," Aradia said suddenly. "I will regularly inspect the worker and slave sectors to 'keep them in line' and 'feed them Imperial propaganda'."
"But in actuality, you are sending them help," Karkat continued, nodding in agreement. "What sort of assistance are you planning to give them?"
"Food, water, infrastructure, shelter, maybe even education," she said, slowly looking up. "Freeing the slaves. Arranging secret unions."
"That is easier said than done," he pointed out. "There are only two of us… millions of trolls who require assistance… And we don't have any rebel cells to help us!"
"But we do, Kar," Aradia grinned. She pulled out a chain from under her collar - a necklace! It was the same color of her skin, but among the deep blue of the sea, Karkat could see the Sign of the Signless dangling at its end. He sat straighter. "Are you with me?"