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Adrian had been bragging about you to the team for months, going on and on about all the silly things you’d do, and all the funny things you’d say. Every single one of them was convinced that Adrian had made you up. Especially when every one of his bad jokes was always followed by a
“Well my partner thinks i’m HILARIOUS!”
After that, they definitely didn’t believe him. Tales of Adrian’s mystery lover seemed to drag on forever, but never had any of them seen any evidence of your existence.
One fateful Friday, the task force had found themselves finishing their work over dinner at a diner down the road from headquarters, too tired and hungry to stay back but too busy to call it quits just yet.
“Hey, I hope it’s okay my partner’s coming. Cause I already told them that it was okay for them to come.” Adrian asked nonchalantly, putting away his phone to peruse the menu.
“Okay, well thanks for asking first, dipshit.” Economos scoffed, shaking his head at Adrian’s ridiculous logic.
“Oh, you’re welcome! I wanted to check with you guys first.” Adrian chirped, John’s sarcasm flying right over his head. Economos didn’t have the energy to explain what he really meant, giving up and going back to reading his own menu.
‘This is gonna be good.’ Harcourt thought to herself after the waiter came by with their drinks, ‘We’re gonna get to the end of the night, and then Adrian’s ‘partner’ is going to ‘conveniently’ text him and explain that they ‘couldn’t make it after all’.’
Like Harcourt had predicted, their orders had already been taken and there was still no sign of Adrian’s ‘other half’. Emilia rested her chin on her palm, elbow leant against the table as she stared out the window to tune out another one of Chris’ ludicrous anecdotes. Emilia’s brow furrowed as her attention was caught by an amusing scene unfolding before her in the foyer of the diner.
The old double doors squeaked and creaked as a dark figure tugged on them over and over again, despite the big, red sign saying ‘PUSH’ right in front of them. Harcourt’s eyebrows raised in astonishment as the stranger continued to pull again and again until a waiter noticed their struggle and motioned to push with their hands through the glass.
Once through the doors, Harcourt watched as the individual let out an unapologetically goofy laugh and gasped in genuine amusement as their eyes sparkled with not a thought behind them.
“My god…” Emilia muttered, chuckling under her breath, “They’re almost as bad as him. Maybe it’s contagious.”
This comment, however, had absolutely no relevance to Adrian’s ‘partner’, as Harcourt was still firmly in the camp of disbelief. Instead she just watched on as the stranger entered the room and bounced along past the tables with that same, absentminded grin, waiting for their next incident to unfold.
The person soon grabbed the attention of Leota as they walked closer to the booth, then Chris, and finally Economos, who turned in his seat to find out what the hell everyone was staring at.
And low and behold, it was you.
“DUDE, YOU MADE IT!” Adrian cheered, standing up from his spot next to John and sliding out of the booth to greet you, grabbing you by the hips, “I MISSED YOU!”
‘What the fuck?’ Chris thought, ‘They’re real?? And they’re hot???’
“DUDE, I MISSED YOU TOO!” you squealed.
One of Adrian’s hands cupped your cheek to bring you in for a searing kiss, your heart fluttering in time with your eyelids as they shut themselves in bliss. As Adrian’s hand slid back down to hold you by the hips again, your hands snaked up to hold his face, pulling him closer as his tongue invaded your mouth.
It’s surprising an earthquake wasn’t triggered with how rapidly the team’s jaws dropped to the floor, watching the promiscuous, and frankly unbelievable display in front of them. You were indeed very real. And you were indeed already halfway to fucking Adrian right there in front of them on the dirty restaurant floor.
Neither of you had the slightest awareness of how your display may have made onlookers feel, all too enraptured by the joy of seeing your other halves again. Adrian groaned at the feeling of your fingers weaving themselves through his hair and pulling, as the two of you continued swapping spit.
Economos decided he’d seen enough and coughed obnoxiously to grab your attention and break up the love fest.
“Oh, bless you!” you chirped genuinely, not realising for a second it wasn’t a real cough as you childishly wiped the spit from your chin with the bottom of your sleeve. ‘Jesus christ, they are just like each other.’ Economos groaned internally.
“Babe, these are my friends!” Adrian announced, one of his hands resting on your back as the other fanned out to gesture to his colleagues.
“OH MY GOD, Adrian’s friends!” you beamed, “I’ve heard so much about you all, Adrian’s told me so much about you guys.”
“Told you how much…?” Leota inquired, raising an accusatory brow at Adrian. He didn’t have a chance to defend himself, the answers came spilling out of your mouth before Adrian could even open his, though Adrian didn’t mind one single bit as he watched you with hearts in his eyes.
“Well you must be Leota, cause you’re already the funniest,” you started, completely missing the offended scoffs from Chris and Economos,
“And you must be Harcourt, cause you’re looking at Adrian the same way that his mom looks at him when he’s done something really stupid again and she’s super angry at him,” you continued. Emilia didn’t quite know whether to feel impressed or offended at your observation,
“And you must be Chris,” you added, smiling and blinking for a few seconds before turning to address John, Chris huffing in indignation at your total lack of description for him,
“So then you must be Economics. You know, you shouldn’t be embarrassed about dying your beard, man. Ombre is totally having a comeback moment right now and you’re already really cute anyway.” you finish, nodding self-assuredly as Adrian resumes his seat next to John and pulling you in to sit next to him.
Economos took a few moments to gather himself, completely baffled at every word you’d spoken since arriving, and wildly flattered by your odd compliment.
“It’s Economos…” he finally stuttered out.
“Gesundheit!” you laughed, flashing your empty, sparkly, eyes at him, “Did you need an antihistamine? I might have one in my car…” you offered, starting to grab your keys from your pocket.
“I-I’m good, thanks” John muttered, shaking his head as he tried not to let his jaw drop again.
Everyone continued to watch and analyse the two of you as the night went on, trying to come to their own conclusion as to whether you really were his partner or not. It wouldn’t come totally out of left field for Adrian to find some random on Craigslist and pay them to feign being his partner for a night to keep up the ruse, so they all had to make sure for themselves.
Chris was won over at the two minute mark of you gushing about how ‘hilarious’ Adrian’s eagle impression was. Chris had seen it a million times, and he’d never found it that funny.
Economos was convinced once he noticed you hadn’t batted an eye at a single one of Adrian’s eccentric comments, nodding and agreeing to his nonsense as if it made perfect sense to you. ‘That right there, is two dumbasses in love.’
Harcourt wasn’t persuaded until after everyone had left the restaurant and said their goodnights, the two of you hand in hand as you waved goodbye and walked to your car. As Emilia waited for her Uber, her head sprung up at the sudden, muffled cacophony of 90s europop, and couldn’t help but smile to herself as she watched the two of you screaming along to the Ace of Bass at the top of your lungs from within your car, breaking out into laughter when the both of you could still be heard in the distance long after driving off.
Leota, however, was sure the moment she saw the two of you look at each other. Adrian had stopped in the middle of his sentence as he caught you leaning in to his every word with a look of pure adoration written all over your face. The deep admiration in your eyes as you smiled up at him, and the evident reverence in his as he beamed down at you was real. All the money in the world couldn’t fake that kind of love.
