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Sometimes Ben hated London. It was busy and constantly moving, constantly evolving. He loved the country, the quiet, the fresh air. He still described the air as filled with smog, and if he had been away for a few weeks, he could feel the air was heavier in the city. What Ben hated the most was rush hour. On the tube. He and James didn’t factor in the time like usual when they decided to head down to Borough Market to grab some fresh produce and get some inspiration for some new dishes. When they got to the tube station, Ben let out an audible groan and James chuckled, rolling his eyes. He pushed Ben in front of him and kept a hand on his shoulder and pushed him through the crowds. Part keeping them together and part keeping Ben calm through the busy crowds. When they got on the platform, he stood against Ben’s back and leant down to speak in his ear.
“You good, Ebbs?” He asked and kept a hold on him. James was a pro on the tube, he travelled it daily and being tall and muscular, he could get through the crowds with ease. He shifted them to where he knew the back of a carriage would stop and as soon as the train pulled in, he put an arm under Ben’s underarms and pushed them through to the carriage. He stood against the divider door and moved his hands to Ben’s hips and kept him as close as he could.
Ben could feel the heat emanating from him, he could feel all the muscles tense up in his arms. His grip was tight on his hip, in a different setting, it would be sensual. He felt safe in his strong arms. As the carriage started to fill up more, he shuffled back slightly, he could feel all parts of James pressed against him, his chin brushing against his hair. Ben could smell the remnants of his shower gel and shampoo, the cologne on his neck (not that he ever wore it when they were cooking) and the brief smell of cigarette from his jacket. He tried to focus on that rather than the stale stench of the underground, the hear from the bodies pressed against him. The train lurched forward and James tightened his grip on Ben, pulling him tighter onto him, Ben shifted positions, causing a groan to leave James’ mouth as he brushed up against him more. Ben was a lot less sure on his feet. Even after years of using the tube, the jerking of the carriage always caught him off guard. James meant closer and whispered in his ear, something that Ben was not expecting to hear.
“Please stop moving, Ben. The friction is… it's a little much,” he whispered and Ben found himself clenching his hands into fists and trying to stay still. His whole body felt a rush push through him, he and James flirted from time to time, but he had also met his girlfriends and partners over the ten years they knew each other. He shook it off, if he was in the same spot, it would probably happen to Ben as well.
Ben tried to steady himself as much as he could, the only thing to hold onto was James, or the man in front of him reading The Metro, which wasn’t a good idea, so he tried to plant his feet more. He could already tell the look on his face, but he wanted to see James. His eyes would be up at the ceiling, he would be biting on his lip and trying to think of anything but Ben rubbing against him. Ben let out a sharp inhale as he felt James reacting against him and he tried to shuffle forward slightly.
James pushed Ben through the crowd as soon as they pulled into London Bridge and up towards the exit. He stood on the escalator and Ben turned to look up at him, James cleared his throat and gave him a small smile.
“Sorry, Ebbers. Got a bit tense. Was busy than I thought it would be. The woman next to me had her umbrella pushed into my leg,” he said and Ben nodded, he bit his lip to say something, but felt the escalator start to flatten out so stepped off and started to walk towards the barriers, tapping his oyster card and walking through.
“Coffee first?” James nodded and they walked in amiable silence towards a coffee booth and ordered them both macchiatos and they started at one end of the market, talking to some of the merchants and taking photos, talking excitedly about the inspirations and some new recipes that they could start to test as soon as they got back.
They both had backpacks full by the end of their morning and stopped off to grab some lunch at a sushi bar and Ben wanted to talk about the tube journey, but he thought that it was just the friction. It had to be just the friction. He said to himself. That was the trouble with his mind, it just wouldn’t turn off. He took a deep breath and sipped at the water in front of him and felt the atmosphere in the air change around them.
James led them back to the office and they emptied their bags, putting the produce away and Ben made a beeline to his desk and started to look up some inspiration for some of the more exotic ingredients that he had found. James kept himself busy in the kitchen and kept on looking over to the offices. He put a dough aside to prove and walked up to the office, removing his apron as he walked towards them and walked over to Ben’s desk.
“I don’t think it was the friction. I mean, it was, of course it was, but I can’t lie that every time you and I find ourselves in a tight spot, I want to act on my feelings whatever they are, but I don’t want to hurt you, because you deserve better than me leading you on and then hurting you. I can’t guarantee that it wouldn’t just be sex to get it out of my system, but I don’t want it to be awkward and I just don’t want you to get hurt,” he took a breath and looked down, grabbing his jacket.
Ben stood and took his arm and turned him around to him. “James, I’m a big boy, I can deal with a one-night stand,” he said, his voice stronger than he thought it had been in a while. “I promise you. Thank you for telling me, though,” he said and Ben relaxed slightly, letting go of his arm and sat back down at his computer. “Are you going out for a cigarette?”
James looked up and nodded, pulling a lighter out and placing a cigarette behind his ear. He looked at Ben and sucked his lip. “Fancy a drink tonight?”
“Only if you promise to not break my heart,” Ben mused and nodded. “Come over to mine?”
With a sigh, James nodded and gave him a nervous smile before heading out and sitting on the wall outside the office, looking around the quiet street, watching a few people walking past, talking on phones and discussing meetings. Sometimes James loved London.