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Lying there in Aaron’s arms, their lips moving softly together, the only noise in the room was their still heavy breathing and the rasp of the starched hotel sheets over their sated bodies as they settled together. The second bed lay untouched as Spencer curled around his lover’s body and settled his head onto the older man’s chest.
“What do you think of Kate?” He asked softly once Aaron’s racing heart rate had returned to its usual steady beat.
“Callaghan? She seems like a very capable agent.” Aaron’s tone was strictly professional. “Are you worried about her reaction to—us?”
“No. I mean, I don’t think we should spring it on her quite yet. I’m not sure how we’ll broach it exactly but she seems good at what she does. She’ll probably figure it out on her own. Then she’ll ask Rossi for confirmation...”
“And Dave will tell her in technicolour detail about how he heard us having sex in Newark. Wonderful,” Aaron deadpanned and Spencer could feel the heat of his blush.
“Yeah. But I was actually wondering, does she remind you of anyone?”
“She’s never going to be Emily, Spence,” Aaron murmured and pressed a soft kiss to the tangled hair that was tickling his nose.
“Of course not,” Spencer grumbled. Sometimes even Aaron treated him with kid gloves. Yes, he knew he could be a bit sensitive about people leaving but he was a grown man. It made his next words come out slightly harsher than he’d originally intended. “I was actually thinking of Elle.” He regretted his lack of tact as soon as he heard Aaron’s sharp intake of breath and he rolled over to look his lover in the eyes which flashed with quickly hidden pain. “I just mean the whole, tough-girl, baddass, takes no prisoners act thing she’s got going on...” he trailed off.
“Maybe,” was Aaron’s only response. Spencer knew he’d broken an unspoken rule but wasn’t quite sure how to make it better. The silence stretched between them as Spencer gnawed anxiously on his lower lip, his head pillowed on Aaron’s chest, waiting to be shook off. Finally, Aaron let out a long ragged breath. “I’m sorry. It’s just—“
“No. It’s ok. Forget I mentioned anything.”
“I blame myself,” Aaron mumbled.
“I knew she wasn’t ok. I was with her in her hotel room while we were on that case and she wasn’t ok. I should have said something. I mean, I knew. But I kept quiet because I didn’t want to believe that she wasn’t ok,” Spencer rambled his way to a stop.
Again the silence stretched taut between them.
“I tried to keep in touch with her. I sent her letters but they started being returned to sender. I guess she moved,” Spencer confided. Those early years were painful: Elle’s departure, Gideon’s disappearance, the drugs. All the things that it seemed they never spoke about.
“I kept tabs on her as well,” Aaron replied. “She moved into fugitive recovery. It’s a very transitory department.” Reid felt his shrug.
“Kate’s not really like Elle,” Spencer concluded.
“No, I don’t think she is either. Still, I’ll keep an eye on her.”
“Hmm, history does have a habit of repeating itself.”
The silence tautened until a slight rumble beneath Spencer’s ear accompanied Hotch’s near silent murmur: “There’s not much of my history that I would like to repeat.” Spencer’s chest tightened but he remained still, unsure whether he was supposed to have heard that confession.