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Records of the 0th Round - Kim Dokja
Yoo Joonghyuk looked happy. I am glad. Yoo Joonghyuk has a family, his companions, and a world without the tragic scenarios. It is a happy ending by all standards.
My indulgence was up to here. Perhaps it is time for me to go back and look over the world that I had left behind. Perhaps, my rapidly beating heart understood the things my mind full of a singular desire already forgot.
[]
The Fourth Wall is a despicable being. That’s the conclusion Yoo Joonghyuk comes to, as he stares at the well worn diary in his hands. Back when it tried to stop Yoo Joonghyuk from truly seeing Kim Dokja, and now that it made him privy to the private thoughts of the man.
It had handed Yoo Joonghyuk a piece of Kim Dokja and the past he had experienced in a different worldline, and said it was a gift.
It was a despicable being, and Yoo Joonghyuk was a weak man. An indescribable pain pierced his heart at every word written in Kim Dokja’s hand.
When Yoo Joonghyuk exited the train with his companions and the empty husk of a man that was once a star, he thought he’d get over it. He hoped- prayed that Kim Dokja continued to exist somewhere else, sweet and untainted by the tragedies of his world.
He’d live on and sometimes, he’d think of Kim Dokja and the foolish things he did and then he would continue on with his life.
And yet, Yoo Joonghyuk is a weak man. What is the point of him existing if he can’t feel Kim Dokja’s gaze on him? If he can’t hear the cunning spiel running from his mouth? What was his purpose for living?
[]
Records of the 0th Round - Kim Dokja
Yoo Joonghyuk is a stupid sunfish bastard. He went and died again. I could not understand him.
Why would a person give up their happiness to see the selfish old me? Did he think I could give him a happier ending? Or the answers he wanted? A powerless being such as me can’t possibly…
No matter what, Yoo Joonghyuk was Yoo Joonghyuk till the end.
[]
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t stop the hand reaching for his sword at every little sound. Couldn’t stop his heart from dropping whenever his companions looked even slightly worried. Couldn’t stop the people he cared about from drifting away.
The man living in the past in a world rushing towards the future, Yoo Joonghyuk. Perhaps he was the most powerless being out there.
[]
Records of the 345th Round - Kim Dokja
He died again. This time, a bit less painfully than the last. I wonder if he would regret his decision if he still remembered.
Perhaps not. He is an obstinate bastard after all.
[]
Yoo Joonghyuk wants to see Kim Dokja. He wants to hear him call Yoo Joonghyuk a bastard. He wants him to smile as Yoo Joonghyuk comes to save him from whatever mess he finds himself in. He wants to look at his startled face whenever Yoo Joonghyuk reads his mind correctly. He wants him to cause trouble wherever he goes. He wants to fight with him. He wants, he wants, he wants.
And yet, Kim Dokja left him with too little.
There is no grief. There is no anger. Only a desire to see Kim Dokja again. This he allows himself.
Slowly, like a bucket kept under a leaking tap being filled, he loses his grip on reality. The dead come alive, and the living spurt blood from their mouths.
It was only a matter of time till the terrorist ‘Yoo Joonghyuk’ made itself known.
[]
Records of the 999th Round - Kim Dokja
A strange sense of deja vu washed over me as I watched Yoo Joonghyuk lose his limbs one by one.
I shouldn’t be surprised. Yoo Joonghyuk was and is the harshest person on himself after all, whether it’s his own person, or the one of another wordline’s. Still, I felt a dull throb of pain and helplessness clenching around my chest. I tried to remember his smile and forged on.
[]
“Keep it.”
Anna Croft looks curiously at the diary Yoo Joonghyuk hands her.
“This… looks important. Why are you giving this to me?”
“I do not like you. That is all.” She bites her lip. Is he cursing her before he leaves?
“If anything happens to this, I will kill you without hesitation.”
A weary smile breaks out on her face at that.
“You can rest assured then. I do not wish to die just yet.”
Yoo Joonghyuk nods stiffly and leaves without saying anything else.
Anna Croft opens up the book. The curiosity never dies, she supposes. A barely legible name on the bottom right of the first page tells her everything she needs to know.
Yoo Joonghyuk was a terrifyingly capable man who knew of nothing but Kim Dokja’s salvation.
How this unassuming man had Yoo Joonghyuk of all people wrapped around his fingers, she might just figure it out, after all.