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Osamu always thought “What did I do”, “Why me”.
Being the younger twin wasn’t easy. They all had all their hopes on Atsumu, the great, talented and perfect Atsumu, who got everything he wanted. The skills, the passion, the love. Of course, he was the first, so he got everything, he was the prince.
And who was the little, poor Osamu next to that ? Nothing. Because he wasn’t as perfect as his brother, he had better notes but it was never enough, nothing he ever did was enough compared to Atsumu. Everyone was disappointed that he left volleyball, that he didn’t had enough passion. But passion wasn’t the problem, it was again Atsumu. All eyes were on him, everyone loved him despite his personality, who was he ? No one beside “Atsumu’s brother”, “The other twin”. He lost his identity, he didn’t know who he was anymore. In fact, he never had been someone.
Osamu spent years getting yelled at for nothing, because he forgot to do chores, because he had a bad grade, because he either was going out too much or not enough, because he wasn’t focused enough on volleyball, because he wasn't able to bring a girlfriend home. It was always his fault, he always did something bad and ended up thinking he deserved it. But when Atsumu did the same things, it wasn’t a problem anymore, nobody yelled at him, they always had an excuse for him. Because he was so perfect.
And when Osamu’s mental health started to tremble, it got worse, it was again his fault. He was falling, nobody was seeing it. He was “too lazy”, “sad for nothing” and all those nice words. When he asked for a therapist, he got a no, nothing is wrong with you, you don’t need that. But when Atsumu said he felt really bad after he broke up with his girlfriend, oh boy he instantly got a therapist, for only two damn sessions.
Over the years, Osamu wasn’t treated, was getting yelled at, his mental health became a true hell. He started self harm, leaving scars all over his weak body, he was losing too much weight by refusing to eat sometimes, he spent nights crying and screaming of pain in his bed. But nobody noticed it, outside he was happy, smiling, going perfectly fine, hiding how hurt he was. Why ? He was certain that nobody cared if someone knew the truth, not even his twin because he saw absolutely nothing. Oh of course Atsumu noticed that Osamu wasn’t as close with him as before, but just said it was normal as they were teenagers. He didn’t care, his own fucking twin didn’t care about him.
When they left their home, when they graduated and got their own life, Osamu thought that maybe things were gonna get better. Oh boy how wrong he was. He got yelled at for going into his own path, for opening Onigiri Miya, because according to his parents, he wasn’t talented enough, according to his twin, it was something complicated to succeed in. Nobody believed in him, he was alone, again. Onigiri Miya became Osamu’s Onigiri. He erased that family name, that name of people that never loved him, never cared about him. After all, maybe he was better all alone by himself.
That’s how he sent a letter to his parents and Atsumu, explaining everything, how angry and sad he was. He asked them to walk out his life, to never contact him again, not even try to search him. He cut them off from his life. Then, he left the command of his shop to one of his colleagues, and flew off to the USA, Boston in fact. There, he opened another Osamu’s Onigiri, got a therapist, a new life, real friends, and totally forgot about those people who hurted him so badly. Except one. There was one guy he couldn’t forget, not him, or his eyes, or the sound of his laugh, the warmth of his skin, the softness of his hair. He was his whole life secret, nobody ever knew, ever noticed. He couldn’t forget the first guy he fell in love with. But him, too, never cared about Osamu, so he kept his memory deep down his heart, leaving the biggest scar he ever had.
He was free now.
Free and happy.