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Doors to an awkwardly shaped flat creaked when two people walked through it. The rest of the apartments already hid in the cover of night and silence, as each clock was already heralding a late evening and there was no soul to be seen in the corridors.
A short child was running happily around a tired young adult who bustled around the house, trying to get them both ready to rest after a whole day of their absence. She was so busy ranting about her day spent at school and with her babysitters that she didn't even notice how absent her brother was, as he was just nodding at her words and yawning from time to time, wondering how does this kid still have so much energy.
Regardless of Paimon's protests about how she's not tired at all yet, Aether quickly picked the kid up and headed to her temporary room where she reluctantly climbed onto the bed, still scowling.
"Sorry kid, but look how late it is already. You have school tomorrow!" he reminded, patting her head goodnight and getting ready to leave to take care of himself before Paimon asked one last question.
"When will Lumine come back from Inazuma? It's sooo boring with you!" she bragged, probably complaining about the blonde’s constant absence and having to spend time with his friends, who she didn't even like that much, each day as soon as she finishes classes.
With those words her brother got brought back to Earth. But he shouldn't be surprised, he thought. He should've expected her to ask about it again sooner or later. Not that he was dying to tell her.
"Be more patient, Pai. Just a few more days, okay? I promise it's gonna be a surprise!"
Paimon growled, trying to hide the curious smile that appeared at the mention of a surprise. Aether smiled back at her, happy it worked again. It was always the easiest way to convince that kid to something, she adored unexpected things.
The positive ones, at least.
After the noisy creature finally got put to sleep Aether stayed on her bed for a little longer, just blankly staring at some point between Paimon’s head and the window above her bed and drowning in his thoughts again. Their seemingly innocent conversation brought him back to something he realized more and more every day, and what was eating him from inside.
Paimon still had no idea about Lumine and he didn't come up with any way to tell her yet.
She had always admired Lumine, of course she had; she was her big sister after all, someone she could look up to from an early age and have trust in. Who knows how she would react to an information like this? She barely turned seven, does she even know what does it mean to pass away? To be gone and never come back? These aren't things a seven years old should be thinking about, even if she deserved to know the truth, but Aether knew he wouldn't be the one to tell her this.
But if he wouldn't be the one to break the ice, who would? If their parents were willing to take this responsibility on their shoulders Paimon would never end up with him in the first place. But there she is, being lied to that Lumine is visiting her friend in Japan so she can spend the weekend with their brother while staying in her big sister's room.
It quickly turned into more than one weekend.
They texted or called him from time to time, true, but always refused to meet up in person ever since Lumine's funeral. Seeing someone who looked exactly like their dead child would probably be too much for them to handle. And Aether never blamed them for it, simply because he just came to acceptance with it.
It's not like that fate didn't hurt – it hurt as hell. After his beloved sister passed away he thought he could at least count on their parents now; it’d be reasonable for them to stick together after a tragedy like that, right? Well, he miscalculated, and he learned it at the funeral when the twins' parents were avoiding their son’s gaze as much as possible, sending him just fleeting looks filled with pure grief and compassion. The best he could do to not make the situation worse was accepting his parents' boundaries. After all, they were traumatized as well, and if that was their way of coping, he couldn't help much more.
He took a peek at his phone’s lock screen one last time before leaving for a shower. The late hour heralded the beginning of a Thursday night, which meant only one thing to him. It's been four full weeks since that day.
The four weeks felt like four months, at least.
In the first week he took a week off for the first time in three years. His parents, his friends, Lumine's friends and their family therapist all said it's the best he can do for himself for now – maybe they're right, he thought, as he surrendered to their advice.
In the second week he started to regret everything he did in the previous one starting with taking that week off, so just when the calendar in his phone announced Monday and the clock on the wall showed 6 o'clock Aether was already at his workplace, an hour before his shift was meant to start.
In the third week he discovered that the more he's working, the less time for thinking about Lumine he has, so he started working overtime. Each business day he was staying at work for three hours longer and Paimon was asking her babysitters about him three times more. Aether was late by three hours and three quarters, because his new schedule didn't work with the public transport, three times more tired than usual.
On the fourth week he glanced at tipsy Venti standing in his doorway and for the first time in his life he thought of alcohol as a coping mechanism. When he glanced at the persona for the second time, he thought of how he'd never want Paimon to see her brother in a state similar to this and that idea has never crossed his mind ever again.
Full four weeks of being stuck in a constant loop of thinking how much of an idiot he was for letting her die like this.
It’s not his fault everyone said, it was the first goddamn thing his therapist said to him after hearing the story, but to hell with that, they weren’t there when it happened, they couldn’t have saved her. Well, it seemed like neither could he, but there surely was a way he could prevent it all from happening! . . . Was it?
He still was in such strong mental shock that his sister was gone – just like that, so suddenly, and they will never travel together again – that the funeral a few days after the accident was just the final nail in a coffin. He couldn't force himself to look at any of Lumine's friends, even if he knew them well, especially at Ayaka and her butler – he heard her calling the man by his name, Thoma probably – who came here all the way from Japan, their hometown Inazuma. And vice versa, she didn't dare to look at Aether either. It was okay, he didn’t expect her to.
He was terrified of someone blaming him for what happened during the trip.
Nobody has even thought of doing so, but the overwhelming anxiety pushed him against the wall and pressed harder and harder the more time he spent either at work or all alone with Paimon in an apartment that he once shared with Lumine, talking to nobody but his younger sister, his partner and, though not so often, his parents. It's not like no one else has tried contacting him the past month – there were at least a dozen willing to – but Aether hasn't opened any of their messages. He was too afraid of what content they could have.
Now there he was, four weeks after the day he swore to himself that he will never travel again.
When he finally left the room, in spite of him before he could even take a step into the bathroom the flat rang with a familiar sound of the doorbell, appearing so frequently at times like this that at this point he already got used to it. His steps instinctively turned towards the door.
He briefly glanced at the clock on the wall. If it still worked, it was past 11 PM. At this moment he already knew who he's going to see. Who else of a sane mind would visit him so late anyway?
He needs to tell them to start coming in by a window instead of the door. The noise always wakes Paimon up and she becomes even more grumpy than usual.
When he finally reached the doorknob, his eyes met a well known hooded persona with azure braids peeking out from a gray hood.
"Hi there!" the visitor greeted in his usual cheerful tone. "Jeez, you look like a walking misfortune," he noticed right after, judging by the bags under the blonde's amber eyes, messy hair long beyond control of a hairbrush by now and worn out clothes.
"Glad you noticed," he laughed and let the visitor pass the doorway before heading to the kitchen.
He looked sober tonight. The only good thing about this day.
"Well, what brings you here tonight?" Aether checked up as he started preparing tea, instinctively grabbing the same bag as always. Venti always chose the same taste anyway. Apple with honey.
"No reason, just wanted to see you. I met Diluc on the campus today, could you believe it? He wasn't really glad to see me, though. He probably still didn't forget about what we did in his bar last time."
"Excuse me, what you did."
"Nitpicking again."
Soon the hot drinks were ready and they stepped onto the balcony as they always used to, leaning on the railing with warm cups in their hands to whine about life troubles. The city beneath them went all silent with no soul to be seen, sometimes just a car passing by streets illuminated by lanterns and a crescent moon.
"So," the visitor spoke first, "How are your parents?"
"Oh, right, mom called a while ago. They're starting to get better," then he quickly corrected his words, "I mean, the best they can do for now. They're seeing their therapist regularly and they might even be able to see Paimon again, some time soon."
"Good for them," the guest said with an honest smile, before his expression got more serious as he looked at the person on his left. "You should return to your sessions too. Seriously. You haven't had any in a while because of how much overtime you've been taking again."
Aether chuckled nervously, looking away. "But I really don't have time to. You know, I live alone now, so I have to work even more than before to pay for rent, school, testosterone and the rest of the shit, and now Paimon's here as well . . ."
"If you can't afford it just tell me, I told you I'll always help no matter how-" he was ready to offer, but he got cut off mid-sentence.
"It's not about money, seriously," the blonde stated firmly before continuing. "Every day I go work both before and after classes, later I pick up Paimon from Amber and Eula and when I'm done with everything it's already midnight. Just like now. How am I supposed to find time for that?"
"It’s because you're a damned workaholic. And you're overworking yourself even more since the accident," Venti tried to pass it on calmly, but it was getting harder and harder to hide both irritation and worry in his voice. "Why did your parents drop her off at your place anyway? It’s not like you were feeling better after the funeral than they were."
"If that’s the only way I can help them, I’ll do it," he admitted, "And don’t say that like I hate her. She’s my sister, and a kid. She doesn’t even know why she’s there. Besides, it’s nice to . . . still have someone around after Lume’s gone."
Both of them went silent for a while, none daring to break the ice.
After a moment of drowning in his thoughts he heard a muffed hum coming from his companion. It was hard to tell if the said persona was annoyed, worried or something else, but they spoke before they could be asked about it.
"Hey," he began, "I'm just, very worried for you. I'm sorry if I don't express it enough. And I don't hate Paimon either. I just don't think you should be dealing with a child in a state like this."
"It's okay, I know you care. I don't mind."
". . . Yet still, you really are addicted. But I think you too figured it out, didn't you?"
Aether didn’t know the answer. At all. It's true that for a short while he himself suspected that he may work too much, and it indeed might've been more serious than he thought it was, but what his not-assertive self could do when his employers offered another overtime?
Even when his salary was increased thanks to them it still wasn’t about money and he was sure of it, because both his university and his jobs were huge stress relievers for the man, no matter how ironic that seemed. If his mind was stuffed with work, there was no place for thinking about his twin, their parents and everything that happened four weeks ago. His actions were addictive and intoxicating, but there was something he enjoyed about catching every odd job he could – why would he stop then, if he found comfort in it?
Venti sighed softly, sending him a comforting smile. "You know you can tell me everything that's on your mind, right? We're on the same boat with both these matters, after all."
The blonde twitched unsteadily. He knew very well that his companion went through literally the same thing. Years ago, Venti also had a twin. Maybe that's why he was so hesitant to confide everything in him. He didn’t want to bring these memories back.
He never got to meet him, the boy passed away at 12, so a whole decade ago. He never got to know what actually happened to him or even what was the boy’s name as neither Venti, nor their siblings ever referred to him by it, but that was okay, he didn’t need to know it. Whatever helped them cope better.
The only major difference between them was that Venti already has dealt with grief of losing their kin. Aether was so jealous of it, even if he knew the passing time is a cure.
"I know we are and that's what I'm on about. 'Cause I quite admire you, actually."
"Why'd that be?"
"After everything that happened to you, you're still here. And you're happy. I wish I could do that too someday."
A faint smile appeared on the musician’s face. The atmosphere around them took on a melancholy. "I might be now, but it was a long and uneasy way and yours will be like this too. Even now, I still stumble sometimes and you will as well. But I'll do anything to help you get here. Someday, when you're ready. I have more than enough time to wait for you."
Aether could feel warm tears beginning to well up in his eyes, even though he wasn't the type to cry. "How can you say stuff like this so easily?"
"I know how difficult it is to recover from an addiction." He lowered his tone. "At some stage of it you just start to think that you'll never get free, so you just . . . Stop trying to get free."
"Yet you're sober today."
". . . I am. And it wasn’t easy either. But you know what? I’m glad I am. If I wasn’t, we wouldn’t talk like this today. And I think we both needed it."
He nodded. "No one has ever spoken to me the way you do before."
"So you see what I’ve meant now?” Venti asked softly. "All I'm trying to say is just, let us help you. We're all here for you and all you need to do is finally notice that. But you keep refusing help over and over again."
Aether paused for a moment, rethinking his answer for one last time. Maybe the saying that people are more honest at night was right all along. Or maybe he was too tired to think of counter-arguments by now.
After a moment that he didn't even count whether seconds or minutes have passed, he found the strength in himself to look at the person next to him.
"Fine," he spoke and tried to not lose confidence when his partner looked back at him curiously, "I might . . . I will try. I'll do it."
Venti glanced at him, surprised at first, just to lean in for a relieving hug right after. Aether was going to notice the fact that they spilled half of their tea by doing so, but instead he just decided to wordlessly put an arm over the person clinging to him.
"Thanks," the musician whispered, closing his eyes and making them stay like this for a moment. They were finishing their drinks while staring at the city plunged into the night, talking about whatever they could think of to loosen up the atmosphere again.
"By the way, we should finally move in together," Venti jumped out suddenly. "It would be much nicer, you know. If we were there for each other all the time . . . And much easier in taking care of Paimon, of course!"
"Yeah, ‘cause it's totally not like you already come here whenever you please and enjoy yourself," Aether teased in a light-hearted way, smiling at every recalled memory of his partner surprisingly appearing at his door, somehow always just at the exact moment he needed it. He must've had some weird intuition or some other sixth sense.
Venti giggled before running away from the balcony with an empty cup in their hand, disappearing inside their home.
Aether however stayed outside for a little longer, slowly sipping the rest of his tea and zoning out while still staring at the skies above. As expected, Venti’s sudden appearance seemed to wake up Paimon, as now he could hear them talking in the kitchen. He was aware that his partner wasn't fond of children, but it was particularly funny to look at how those two were trying to get along just to make Aether happy. He appreciated it more than they both could even imagine.
In the fifth week he will tell Paimon the truth.
And when she's over it, he will take a week off again, he will take her and Venti with him and they will visit a place that Lumine liked to travel to the most.
They will visit Inazuma. And they will see Ayaka for the first time since the funeral.
He looked at the stars one last time before heading back to the apartment. His sister is now one of them, and someday he will come to an acceptance with it. Not now, but he has more than enough time to wait.