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“Why do you always do this?” Atsushi asks on their way to Mafia headquarters to report the success of their latest mission. He is starting to get really tired of Akutagawa making impulsive decisions without consulting him and making it that much harder to co-operate.
“Do what?”
He even has the audacity to pretend he doesn't know. Unbelievable.
“I can't read your mind, Akutagawa, you need to talk to me if we want to work together,” Atsushi explains.
To his surprise, instead of snapping back, Akutagawa takes it as constructive criticism.
“I'll try to inform you of my plans next time.”
Atsushi smiles. He found out that when Akutagawa isn't chasing after Dazai-san's approval, he actually makes a decent companion.
“You should at least take me out to dinner after you pull things like that,” he rolls his eyes fondly.
“What?” Akutagawa stares at him in disbelief, stopping dead in his tracks.
“What,” Atsushi deadpans, staring right back. He didn't mean it literally but he said what he said and he's not backing out.
Akutagawa is the first to break eye contact, averting his eyes and mumbling something along the lines of “Nothing.” Which is strange, because Akutagawa never mumbles. His voice is usually perfectly level and clear.
They continue their walk back to the Mafia headquarters in silence. Atsushi is putting together his report to Chuuya-san in his head, when Akutagawa suddenly interrupts his thoughts.
“Are you free on Saturday?”
“Eh?”
Akutagawa looks at him, determined.
“Are you really asking me out?” Atsushi asks after collecting himself.
“Yes, now answer my question,” Akutagawa demands.
“I, uh, I am,” Atsushi hesitates, failing to comprehend the situation he just found himself in. Does Akutagawa really want to spend time with him outside of work? Voluntarily?
“I'll make a reservation, then text you the time and place,” he says while opening the door of the Mori Corp. building for Atsushi.
“O-okay.”
He gives his report, leaves the building, and only allows himself to think about what transpired in the safety of his dorm.
Wed X.XX.20XX - 21:18
Slug: He's done it.
Mackerel: You're going to have to be more specific, Chibi
Slug: Akutagawa asked your kid out. He's sitting next to me and having a mental breakdown atm
Slug: He's blushing like a virgin and swears he didn't mean to
Slug: He just told me not to tell you
Mackerel: Then why are you telling me?
Slug: Your kid is dense as fuck
Slug: (i think it runs in the family)
Slug: I don't think he got the memo
Slug: The very least you can do is to dress him appropriately
Mackerel: And make Akutagawa-kun suffer by letting him see his hopeless crush in a fancy suit? How cruel of you
Mackerel: I'll use your credit card
Slug: Go ahead
Mackerel: It's no fun when you let me do it
Slug: If that's the price of not having to watch Akutagawa's moping, then so be it
Slug: I'm sick and tired of listening to his pining
Mackerel: You're just giving me reasons not to help him, Chuuya~
Slug: Fuck off
Slug: You were setting them up from the start anyway
Mackerel: Maybe~ ;)
And that's how Atsushi found himself walking through Yokohama in a nice suit, following Kyouka-chan's directions towards what she classified as a very good restaurant. "Their cherry cake is to die for," she said.
Atsushi doesn't understand the point of this. Why is he going to dinner with his arch-enemy again? And why was Dazai-san so enthusiastically supportive? That just can't be a good sign.
Akutagawa is already waiting for him when he arrives. He's wearing a black suit with its lapels trimmed white, and his usual cravat has been replaced by… a black ribbon? That's cute.
Wait wait wait wait wait. No. It's not. It can't be. Wake up, Atsushi. There can't be anything cute about this guy. He's a fearsome mafioso and a dangerous ability user. He's rude, insufferable, aggressive, and…
Akutagawa notices his presence. Taking in his appearance with a brief look, he covers his mouth, blushing.
…adorable.
Atsushi is suddenly nervous, playing with the cuffs of his dark grey dress shirt and adjusting his double-breasted black vest (that was probably worth his entire monthly salary).
“You clean up even better than expected,” Akutagawa comments, and now it's Atsushi's turn to blush, because Did he just say "even better"? He complimented him without insulting him at the same time? Who is this and what did he to Akutagawa??
“Thank you,” Atsushi mumbles quietly. “You, um, you look good too.”
Akutagawa smiles in response. Smiles. Akutagawa. What is going on?? It's just a small smile, corners of his mouth have turned upwards only slightly, but it makes a huge difference on Akutagawa's face. Especially in his eyes. They sparkled. Those two infinitely deep pools of darkness, void and death sparkled. And it was beautiful.
All in all, it was enough to make Atsushi's brain malfunction, so when Akutagawa asked “Shall we go?” and offered him his arm to hold on to, he grabbed it without a second thought.
Akutagawa gave his name to a waiter who led them to a table for two at the window. Only then does Atsushi realise how close they are and that he's practically clinging to Akutagawa's side. He jumps away, avoiding eye contact as he takes a seat and hides behind a menu.
He can hear Akutagawa sit down and open a menu of his own. It's silent for a bit, and Atsushi tries to focus on the menu, but after he rereads the first line three times without understanding a single word, he knows he needs to speak up.
“There aren't any prices,” he frowns in confusion.
“Prices don't matter. Choose whatever you want,” Akutagawa replies calmly, and generously, because Atsushi can't even imagine how much could all these fancy meals cost.
“I don't even understand what it says,” he admits with a sigh.
“Just point at whatever,” Akutagawa shrugs. “Everything is good, you can't really go wrong.”
“You've been here before?” Atsushi wonders.
“No, but I've been to similar establishments with my sister or for work events.”
“Do you have a meal you like to buy, then?”
He finally finds the courage to look at Akutagawa, only to see him be surprised by the question.
He puts his menu on the table to show it to Atsushi, who puts his own away to take a look.
“This one,” Akutagawa points.
“What is it?”
“Duck cutlets with grilled figs and leaf salad… I think.”
“You "think"?” Atsushi raises his eyebrows.
“If you think I can speak Italian any more than you do, Weretiger, then you're mistaken. I just remember the word for figs and order whichever meal contains them,” Akutagawa explains.
Atsushi has to laugh.
So Akutagawa is just as bad with this kind of restaurants as him, then.
“You know what, let's just take that twice,” he wipes a tear, relieved. “Kyouka-chan recommended their cherry cake, so we can try that too if you want.”
Akutagawa is too stunned to reply for a moment, cheeks stained pretty pink.
“Yeah, let's do that,” he says finally.
When the waiter arrives, Akutagawa relays their order to him. He uses the same tone and expression as when he's commanding his troops, which startles another laugh out of Atsushi. Especially when the waiter reacts the same way the mafia goons would. Not that Atsushi likes to laugh at the misery of other, but this situation was just so bizarre.
“Why are you laughing?” Akutagawa's confused question just makes him laugh even more.
“Because I'm having fun when I'm with you,” Atsushi wants to say, but what comes out instead is: “You're so cute.”
The reaction is instantaneous. Akutagawa blushes bright red and covers his mouth, looking away. Atsushi, who only just realises what he said, goes red as well, and hides his face in his hands. However, moments later, Akutagawa's long fingers wrap around his wrists and gently pull them away.
“I should be the one saying that.”
Atsushi freezes, looking up at Akutagawa, eyes wide. His expression doesn't show a single hint of deceit. Atsushi relaxes, putting his arms down even though his face is still warm. However, Akutagawa doesn't let go of his hands, intertwining their fingers atop the table instead. His eyes ask if it's okay and Atsushi squeezes his fingers and smiles in response.
There's still an increasing number of questions in Atsushi's head, and he tries to ignore them in favour of enjoying the pleasant moment, but the back of his mind is still panicking: Why does this feel so nice?? Why are Akutagawa's fingers so cold?? Why does he want to warm them up?? And why does he want to ki-
The waiter brings their meals, pointedly ignoring their connected hands.
They only let go after he leaves just to spite him. The meals smell delightful, and Atsushi has to get through a brief existential crisis before he can even grab the fork. Does he, a poor, dirty orphan and a useless office worker, deserve such a wonderful meal?
“Of course you do. You deserve the world, Atsushi.”
Did he say any of that out loud?? Also, WHAT?? Akutagawa called him by his name?? Comforted him?? Told him that he deserves the world?? With a heart-meltingly soft look?? Atsushi is going to cry, what is even going on???
Before he can actually start tearing up, he stuffs a piece of grilled fig into his mouth.
It's so sweet. And warm. And it melts in his mouth.
And damn it that is not helping him hold tears back at all.
“Is something wrong?” Akutagawa worries immediately.
Atsushi shakes his head.
“It was better when you were mean to me. N-no, I mean, it wasn't, but like…”Atsushi corrects himself when he sees Akutagawa's baffled expression. He tries to organise his thoughts, but the mess of emotions is incomprehensible and comes out with zero filter. “When you're nice like this, you're really hard to resist. You're just so perfect, I can't help but feel blessed that I'm allowed to be with you. And yet, it's not enough. I want to be even closer to you, I want to hold your hand and make you laugh, and then…” he trails off.
Akutagawa reaches over the table to hold his hand again, encouraging him to continue.
“And then?”
“I… don't know, actually.”
Akutagawa laughs. He laughs. And Atsushi is stunned into silence, because that is the most beautiful sound he has ever heard. It's only a short laugh, and it's barely audible, but he is ready to do anything just to hear it again.
And then, Akutagawa looks at him, eyes shining in amusement, and Atsushi's heart stops.
“And Higuchi calls me dense.”
What.
“Hey, what's that supposed to mean?” Atsushi tries to defend himself. He's not dense, is he?
“Let me explain. I know how you feel, because I feel the same. I'm glad to have met you, and even more glad that I can now spend more time with you than ever. I could spend hours and days looking at your stupidly dreamy eyes and your stupidly handsome smile. And more than anything in the world, I want you to hold me and never let me go.”
That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to Atsushi. Including the fact that Akutagawa indulged his wish to not be too perfect and mixed some insults into it. That was very kind of him, because it helps Atsushi keep his bearings and formulate a logical response.
“I don't think I could ever let you go,” he breathes, squeezing his hand. “But I still don't get where you're going with this.”
A chuckle.
“Foolish Weretiger. I'm saying that I love you.”
Oh.
Oh.
All of a sudden, everything makes sense. Why is Akutagawa acting the way he is. Why does Atsushi feel the way he does. It's love. Of course it's love. How could it be anything else? He loves Akutagawa Ryuunosuke.
“I want to hug you so much right now.”
And he really needs to work on his brain-to-mouth filter.
“Let's finish the meal first. Then, we can go wherever you want and do whatever you want,” Akutagawa proposes, amused.
Atsushi agrees with a nod, stuffing his mouth so that he doesn't have to reply verbally, because he didn't trust his voice.
The time it takes for him to finish his meal is enough for him to calm down.
“We can do anything you want, too.”
“Are you sure?” Akutagawa raises an eyebrow. “I have a long list.”
“Absolutely sure. That means that I won't have to leave you anytime soon.”
“I'm not worthy of having someone as sweet as you in my life,” he sighs.
“You deserve the world, Ryuunosuke,” Atsushi counters. Ryuunosuke gives him a soft smile.
Atsushi pushes his empty plate aside in favour of the delicious-looking slice of cherry cake. An idea pops up in his head and he grins.
“I know that look. You're about to do something stupid,” Ryuunosuke guesses. Atsushi takes the dessert fork, slices off a piece of the cake and looks up at Ryuunosuke with determination.
“Say "Aah",” he demands.
“You can't be serious.”
“Oh, I'm completely serious. Weren't you saying something about doing whatever I want just a moment ago?” Atsushi smirks.
Ryuunosuke sighs, but smiles and opens his mouth obediently. Atsushi marvels at that, he didn't expect him to actually do it. He puts the piece of cake into Ryuunosuke's mouth, watching his lips gently close around the fork before pulling it out. Just for fun, he puts it in front of his own lips and licks it teasingly.
Ryuunosuke chokes.
Atsushi looks up through his lashes to observe the delicious reaction, cutting off a piece of cake for himself. Ryuunosuke hides his blush behind his water glass as he drinks, his eyes fixated on the fork disappearing into Atsushi's mouth.
Atsushi alternates between feeding Ryuunosuke and himself and the cake is soon gone.
When the waiter collects their plates, Atsushi notices that his hands are shaking. He's been acting weird the whole time, but Atsushi notices only now that he's constantly casting worried glances at Akutagawa. Why would anyone be scared of him here though, the waiter barely knows his name- Oh. His name. Akutagawa made the reservation under his name. The name that hangs on wanted posters all over Yokohama.
Atsushi bursts into giggles, not sure if hysterical or just amused by the ridiculousness of this situation. Akutagawa gives him a confused look.
“I think we should pay the bill and run,” Atsushi tries to speak in between his giggle fits.
“Run? Why?”
“The waiter seems to be this close to calling the police on you.”
“I didn't do anything.”
“I know, but you have to understand that you're quite the "celebrity". Your name and pictures hang all over Yokohama, and this person probably recognised you,” Atsushi explains, still with an amused smile playing on his lips.
“Oh,” the realisation dawns on Akutagawa.
“Next time, try to make the reservation under a fake name.” Atsushi hopes that Akutagawa won't point out that he essentially just promised him another dinner.
“Do you have any suggestions, genius?” Akutagawa asks. Atsushi knows that he expects to hear something useless but funny in response, but he can't stop himself from saying the first thing that pops up in his mind:
“Nakajima Ryuunosuke.”
“You… you can't just propose to me on our first date, foolish Weretiger!” Ryuunosuke puts his hands in front of himself defensively, blushing profusely. Atsushi wants to correct him, tell him that that's not what he meant to say, but a certain word Ryuunosuke said caught his attention.
“We're on a date?”
“You didn't know?”
“You didn't tell me!”
“I thought it was obvious!”
“It really wasn't!”
“I can't believe I'm in love with someone this stupid,” Ryuunosuke sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Let's just leave.”
“Without paying?” Atsushi raises his eyebrows.
“Of course not,” Ryuunosuke shakes his head, handing Atsushi his sleek black and gold credit card. “Can you please do it? I don't want to scare the poor waiter any more than I already have.”
“O-okay.” Atsushi gestures for the waiter and pays, a subtle tremble in his hand as he places the card on the card terminal.
When that's taken care of, Atsushi returns the credit card, grabs Ryuunosuke's hand and runs.
“Where are we going?” Ryuunosuke wonders when Atsushi slows down after rounding a few corners, aware that Ryuunosuke can't run much.
“I don't know,” he laughs. “Any ideas?”
Ryuunosuke nods. “Follow me.”
He leads them to a seaside park.
“I really like it here. It's pretty,” he admits.
“Isn't there a graveyard just around the corner?” Atsushi remembers.
“Be quiet.”
“Make me.”
Ryuunosuke tries to wrap his smirking face with Rashomon, but Atsushi dodges, smiling when he realises how different this is from their first fight. Back then, Ryuunosuke attacked with the intent to hurt and kill, but now, they were just exchanging playful jabs. The speed of Ryuunosuke's attacks was still the same though, Atsushi just learnt to anticipate and dodge them. By now, fighting each other became a routine game for them, something they could always come back to. It was comforting.
Ryuunosuke trips Atsushi up with Rashomon but then tries to pin him down physically. Atsushi has no idea what that's about, they both known he's stronger. He flips them with ease, pinning Ryuunosuke down instead.
“I win,” Ryuunosuke smirks, a blush tinting his cheeks. He's slightly out of breath, his hair is even messier than usual, and it's beautiful. Atsushi feels like he could stare forever.
“What do you mean?” he asks, confused.
Ryuunosuke gives him a fond look.
“Just kiss me already, Atsushi.”
Huh? K-kiss him?
“I've never… I… don't know how…”
“Me neither, just try.”
“Okay.”
Atsushi props himself up on his elbows and leans down. Their noses bump, Atsushi lets out a nervous laugh and tries again. He tilts his head, and this time, he manages to press their mouths together. He feels Ryuunosuke tense up, and there are shivers running down his own spine too. But then, Atsushi moves his lips, and it's clumsy and probably bad, but Ryuunosuke melts, exhaling in a small puff against Atsushi's lips and kissing back. It's weird and wonderful at the same time. They're uncoordinated but somehow make it work.
Soon, Atsushi has to pull away because he can't contain the intense feeling of happiness anymore, and he's laughing. He rolls over to lay next to Ryuunosuke, pressing into his side, giggling like an idiot.
“There you go again, laughing for no reason,” Ryuunosuke shakes his head.
“I'm laughing because you make me happy, Ryuu,” Atsushi can finally say.
Ryuunosuke cuddles closer to him in response. Atsushi isn't one to deny cuddles, but he thought Ryuunosuke was quite touch-averse.
“I didn't think you'd be okay with physical affection,” he tells him.
“I don't mind. Not if it's you.”