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To say Ekko was worried at the current moment as his cab sped towards the apartment of his girlfriend, it would be a bit of an understatement.
Now, normally, Ekko tried to always think positively in all matters of his life and not just when concerning Jinx. Right now though, he couldn’t stop his foot from frantically tapping or his eyes to stay locked on the screen of his phone.
The reason for his tense and rather frantic demeanor at the moment was because Jinx hadn’t responded to any of his texts for three days.
It wasn’t like the silence was brought on because of a big fight between them, or any other typical couple thing that could explain the silent treatment he was currently receiving. The more likely reason was even more distressing to the dark skinned man.
Jinx was having one of those times.
They came without warning, without any real sign, and they always led to her isolating herself and refusing to talk to him. Hell, even Vi couldn’t hope for a response. Not right now.
Not when the noise in Jinx’s head was too loud.
It had become less frequent the past few years after Jinx finally found a therapist that truly seemed to understand her, and he also did everything he could to support her and just be there when she needed him, even when she’d act like she wanted him gone.
But there were still times like now where she just closed herself off, and it killed him to let her go through it alone. It hurt even more that she felt she could only handle it alone.
It was Vi that finally pushed him to go and check in on her, though he was going to stop by in the morning tomorrow if he still hadn’t gotten a response. Vi hadn’t heard a word from her little sister either, except the silence for Vi had gone on for nearly a week.
Another glance to his phone, and Ekko’s heart kicked up a few notches at the notification now resting on his home screen.
New Message From: Jinx
He immediately unlocked the device and read the message, his heart dropping as a weight settled in his stomach at the words on the screen.
Jinx: I’m fine. Don’t come over.
That was a clear sign something wasn’t okay. Jinx never texted like that unless she wasn’t in a good headspace. Her normal texts were always riddled with emojis and filled with random nonsense that he loved because it was just Jinx.
His eyes slid up from his phone at the loud and almost painful screech of the cab’s tires as it pulled to a stop next to Jinx’s apartment complex.
Too late now. A small part of Ekko wondered if Jinx had been warring with herself over telling him not to come, given he had sent her a text saying he was swinging by thirty minutes before he left his home, and the drive from his place to Jinx was another half hour.
Typing out a quick message saying he was already outside, Ekko stepped out of the cab, paid the driver and went up to Jinx’s door. He didn’t feel his phone vibrate from any kind of response so either Jinx didn’t see his text or purposefully didn’t respond.
Ekko lightly rapped his knuckles against the white wood of his girlfriend’s front door and waited a full minute before knocking again, with a little more force when no response came. “Jinx!” He called out after still not getting a response, hoping his yell might stir Jinx into action.
Still no luck.
A mini-debate began in Ekko’s head as he fished out the spare key Jinx had given him for her place out of his pocket, laying the key in his palm and watching the low light of the night glint off the metal.
Jinx had given in to him in case he ever wanted to surprise her with a visit, and also for emergencies like now, or what he’d call an emergency at least.
He’d never had to use it before. Jinx always opened the door and let him in.
“Jinx, I have the key you gave me here, and I’m gonna come in and check on you before I leave. But I want you to let me in. Please let me in.” It was important to Ekko that Jinx let him in on her own terms. It felt like, even if it was given through an ultimatum, Jinx still made the choice to let him be there for her. Using the key to intrude on her space when she’s in the place she was in now just felt wrong, and felt like a line that he just couldn’t cross.
Minutes ticked by, Ekko never taking a step away from the door. He didn’t hear anything either, no sounds from Jinx inside telling him that she was even by the door, waiting for him to make a move.
A sigh left his lips before he could stop it, his brown eyes bouncing from the lock in the door to the key in his hand. All he had to do was just use it, check on Jinx and make sure she’s okay. Then if she wants him to leave, he’ll leave.
Except he couldn’t do it.
The thought of just barging in, no matter how badly he wanted to know Jinx’s current state, crushed his heart.
Another sigh left his lips as he slid the key back into his pocket and stepped away from the door, leaning back against the cold metal railing behind him.
Ekko couldn’t, wouldn’t do that to Jinx.
But he was not leaving until he saw Jinx either. So his only option left was to wait, and that’s what he’d do. Even if he had to spend the entire night out in front of Jinx’s door, waiting and hoping and praying that it would open for him.
He called out one final time, eyes sliding closed. “I’m not going anywhere Jinx! I’ll be right here when you want to let me in!”
No response, no words, no light flickering, no sound of the door being pulled open, or even just a simple knock against it to let him know that he’d been heard.
The small spark of hope inside of Ekko’s chest faded just a bit more as he narrowed his closed eyes and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Things will work out , he thought to himself, hoping beyond hope that his optimism would be right.
Time seemed to crawl by, with him leaning up against the guardrail behind him with his head bowed and eyes closed, while his ears stayed on alert to every single sound that he heard. From cars driving by, to loud TV’s blaring out in other apartments, to the slight chatter of other people still milling about in the parking lot of the apartment complex.
And then he heard the bolt of the door in front of him click loudly.
Ekko’s head shot up, eyes wide and staring directly at Jinx’s door, watching as it was opened just the tiniest margin. Not even enough for him to really peek through or see through, but it was the clear sign that Jinx was there and listening and willing to open up to him. He pushed off of the metal he was resting on, walking slowly up to the door, as if Jinx was a wild animal and any sudden movements might make her run away.
“Jinx.” He called softly, tilting his head to glance around the small crack in the door, feeling his heart seize in his chest as deep blue eyes glowed on the other side, staring at him with a level of caution.
“You’re still here…” Her voice was raspy, more so than usual, and it shook as she spoke. Those two facts were a lance right through his heart. All he wanted right now was to pull the door open and hold the girl he loved in his arms and tell her everything would be okay.
“I’m not going anywhere.” His own voice was soft, Ekko took a small step closer to the door, one hand reaching over slowly to the doorknob. “Not until I know you’re okay.”
“I told you I’m fine.” Jinx’s words were a bit more steady, but rushed with a hidden edge that told Ekko it was a lie. That it was taking everything in the girl right now to not just break .
“I believe you.” He didn’t, but he didn’t want to force her to lie anymore. He didn’t want to push her any closer to that emotional edge she was already teetering on. “I still want to see you. I miss you.”
He emphasized the last sentence he spoke as he took another, meaningful step closer. His hand closing tightly on the knob of the door, brown eyes meeting one blue, a silent question of if it was okay for him to remove the final barrier between them and come inside. He stopped as he heard her voice again, so small and scared and just tired . “I-It’s not gonna be fun… Bein ‘round me right now…”
“You don’t need to be fun. You just need to be you.” It was all he could think to say, and suddenly the door was pulled open completely, and a blur of blue suddenly slammed into him. Thin, pale arms wrapped tightly around his midsection and squeezed all of the air out of him. It didn’t even take a second for Ekko to wrap his own arms around Jinx’s small frame.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry.” He had a good idea of what Jinx was apologizing for, but right now it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered more than just making the girl in his arms feel better. And to make the tears currently staining his shirt stop falling from her beautiful eyes.
He moved one hand to her cheek, gently tilting her head up to look at him. He started rubbing his thumb under her eye to wipe away a few stray tears that spilled out before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Nothing to be sorry for, I promise.”
The apologies that Jinx kept repeating stopped, but she didn’t say anything else. Instead she resumed her previous position of having her face buried somewhere between the crook of his neck and his chest.
“Why don’t we go inside, lay down and just relax, yeah?” Jinx didn’t budge from her position but she did let out a quiet hum of approval at the idea. Taking that as the only response he was really going to get, Ekko leaned down and easily swept Jinx off her feet and into his arms. The petite woman’s own immediately moved up from his stomach to wrap around his shoulders.
The action didn’t get the typical wild giggle that it usually did from Jinx, but he could see the small beginning of a smile on her face as she rested her head on his shoulder.
Walking through the still open doorway, Ekko carefully maneuvered through the apartment, making sure Jinx’s head, legs, and braids didn’t knock into or get caught on anything.
Ekko kicked the door shut behind him as he carried Jinx to her bedroom, eyes scanning over the horrid mess that was the girl’s apartment.
Clothes and blankets littered the ground everywhere, along with cans of soda and energy drinks, plates of half eaten or completely ignored food. His eyes spied a large pile of balls of paper on the ground next to the coffee table in the living area, covered in varying ranges of color, and some illegible chicken scratch that might possibly be words.
Shaking his head, Ekko refocused his thoughts to the girl in his arms, and his destination of her bedroom as he walked through her apartment, seeing more and more signs of Jinx’s rough past few days.
Entering Jinx’s room, Ekko had to fight not to laugh to find the one thing that wasn’t a mess in Jinx’s apartment was her bed. But that also came with the crushing reality that she probably hadn’t slept in it, or at all since her mind started fighting against her. Gently, he set her down on the soft comforter, making to pull away only to be held against her by firmly locked arms around his neck. “Don’t leave…”
“I’m not. Just gonna go lock the front door, and grab a cup of water and be right back, okay?” He wished that she’d loosen her hold just the slightest bit so that he could look into her eyes as he spoke, but Jinx’s arms were cemented in place and refused to budge at all. He pressed another kiss, this time to the woman’s cheek. “I promise, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll come right back here.”
He didn’t move to pull away until he felt Jinx’s arms unwind and pull away from him. The look on Jinx’s face as he finally stepped back and stood up almost made him regret even thinking of leaving her side. Her large blue eyes were staring at him so intently, as if the second he was out of her vision, he’d vanish from the face of the planet. Her teeth nervously chewed her bottom lip, as if forcing herself not to say anything, scared that whatever she said would make Ekko decide not to come back to her. Her hands, now unoccupied with him, were pulling, squeezing, and tugging anxiously on one of her long blue braids.
Leaning back down, Ekko gave Jinx a soft, tender kiss to her lips before pressing his forehead against hers and staring into her eyes, making sure that she could see the truth in the words he spoke next. “I will never leave you, or abandon you Jinx. I love you so much. And I promise, after I get back, I won’t leave your side again.”
Jinx’s eyes seemed to flicker, as if hearing or seeing something that wasn’t there after Ekko finished speaking. Though, Jinx seemed to center herself a second later, her eyes squeezing shut before opening to stare back into his own. “I believe you and I… I love you too.”
Nothing could keep the smile from spreading across Ekko’s face upon hearing that, especially not when he could see the truth of those words reflected in those breathtaking eyes he was already getting lost in.
With a very forceful shove to his will, Ekko managed to pull himself away from Jinx with one more firm kiss, stepping out of the room and rushing to lock the front door and return to the woman’s side as fast as possible.
The second Ekko was out of her sight, Jinx fought to keep herself from springing up out of her bed and following him. She wanted to, every fiber of her being was screaming at her to move, to not let the man go.
But she needed to trust Ekko. She needed to believe he wouldn’t leave her, that he really loved her.
So she’d try and show her trust by remaining on her bed, sitting right where he left her and waiting patiently for him to come back to her.
It didn’t help that she was honestly exhausted.
Jinx hadn’t really noticed or felt it until he showed up and held her, but her eyes, her arms and legs, her everything just felt so tired and weak.
When was the last time she actually slept in her bed?
When was the last time she slept at all?
A buzzing, irritating noise sounded out behind her eyes that made Jinx tug harder on her hair. She needed to know the answer to that question. If Ekko asked, she wanted to make sure that she gave him an honest answer.
Her train of thought was completely derailed as Ekko came back into her room, the same charming smile on his face that was there when he left. Now, he also carried a glass of water in one hand and in the other… Oh.
Her eyes stared at the small oval weekly pill case now in the man’s hand. If Ekko noticed how she hadn’t taken a dose of her meds since Monday, he doesn’t say anything about it. Instead, he just hands her the glass of water before popping open the tab for Saturday and dumping the pills into his hand before setting the case on her nightstand.
Jinx wordlessly plucks the pills from his palm, easily swallowing them all with a large gulp of water before handing the glass back to her boyfriend.
Ekko takes it, taking his own swig of water before placing it next to her pill case. “Ready for bed?” He asks as he grabs onto the comforter and begins tugging it out from under her so that Jinx can slip underneath it.
“Mhmm.” She had to fight the intense want to yawn at the thought. The exhaustion in her body really was starting to just kick her ass now.
A deep, soft chuckle left Ekko as he nodded his head. “Alright then. You good to sleep like that?” Her eyes follow his gaze down to her clothes, clothes that were soaked in how many days worth of sweat and grime from her manic episode over the past couple of days.
“Probably need to change…” She couldn’t help but mutter quietly, suddenly self-conscious about whether or not Ekko could tell that from how her clothes looked or how they smelled.
Oh gods, what if she smelled? Was that why he wasn’t making any move to join her in bed?
She was more than a bit grateful that this wasn’t the first time Ekko had stayed with her, already moving and gathering some pajamas for her to change into and tossing a pair of sleep pants and a thin tank top her way.
She changed quickly, not really thinking about or caring if Ekko’s eyes were on her as she stripped her old clothes off before slipping into the fresh set he had gotten out for her while also throwing the bundle of dirty clothes into a random corner of the room.
The second she finished, Ekko moved into bed next to her, noticeably now out of his jeans and hoodie, leaving him in a pair of boxers and a dark green t-shirt. His muscular and firm arms suddenly wound about her waist and pulled her against his side before he fell with her onto the bed.
A real giggle slipped from her lips at the action, something about it all seeming so silly and carefree compared to how wound up and nervous Jinx had been feeling until just a few minutes ago. Ekko joined her in her laughter, his arms pulling her harder into him before his laughs faded away.
Suddenly, she felt his warm, chapped lips place a kiss into her shoulder, the simple gesture of affection making her entire body shiver. “I love you, Jinx.”
Stupid, dumb, loving Ekko and his need to shower her with affection.
Affection she craved but was too scared to ask for.
Jinx twisted in his hold until she was facing him, her eyes fighting to stay open so she could look into his eyes as she forced out the words bouncing around inside of her head. “I love you too.” Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to his lips, a kiss that only lasted one sweet second before she pulled away, turning her head when Ekko followed after her to make the kiss last. “And I know, I know my head’s not great, and I do really stupid, weird things sometimes.” A tiny hiccup forced its way out of her throat at the same time as tears began to well up in her eyes again.
Ekko, being the caring, sweet, attentive man that he always was towards her, remained silent, waiting patiently for her to get her thoughts out while his hands soothingly rubbed circles into her back.
“A-And I’m sorry I’m a mess… I want to be better.” Jinx couldn’t stop the tremble in her voice or the tremble that ran through her body as she spoke, her eyes no longer able to look at Ekko as she squeezed them shut, more than a little scared of what she’d see in them if she didn’t. “For myself.” Slowly, Jinx forced her eyes open, blue locking onto deep, loving brown eyes that stared right back into her. “And for you.”
Ekko continued to look into her eyes, seconds slowly ticking by while he seemed to fight over just what to say. Finally, he seemed to decide as he pulled her in, holding her tightly in his strong arms pressing kiss after loving kiss into her hair. “That makes me really happy to hear… But you’re already perfect to me Jinx.”
The smile on her face, the blush on her cheeks, and the pounding of her heart was all Jinx could focus on after hearing those words, so filled with affection and love and care for her.
Her eyes slid closed as she fought back tears for an entirely new reason now, while her arms slipped from in between her and Ekko and moved to circle the larger man and hold him tighter against her.
She felt his large hands continue to rub and caress her back, lulling her to sleep just as much as the melody of his breathing and heartbeat was.
Jinx could tell she was about at the edge of sleep, her mind quickly fading to the black void of unconsciousness.
But not without one final thought going through her head.
The thought that she never wanted to spend another night without Ekko holding her.