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Sirius was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. He thought he had more time. But if the calendar staring back at him from his phone isn't lying (and unless there's been some elaborate cyber attack that he isn't aware of then it definitely isn't lying) then Valentine's day is today. Fuck. He thought he had more time.
But between his business meetings, taking care of Harry, making sure there's food in the fridge, and that the flat looks moderately clean, he must have lost track of time. He swears it was Christmas like a week ago.
Fuck, he curses again.
He exits the calendar app and decides to text Reg for advice. He would ask James if he could but…that has not been an option for more than two years already. And he was a walking disaster at dating anyway.
Sirius: Hey, I need advice
Little Shit: And you decided to ask me? Have all the other people on the planet perished or what
Sirius: haha, very funny
Little Shit: Yeah, I actually think it was hilarious
Sirius: will you help me or not
Little Shit: But of course, what do you need my dear brother
Sirius: so you know how I told you about Harry's nanny
Little Shit: the cute bloke Harry adores?
Sirius: yeah, his name is Remus and I think I love him
Little Shit: you better, he's practically raising Harry as his own with the insane hours you work
Sirius: no, I mean that I love him as in I think I'm in love with him
Little Shit:…..okay, that's a first
Sirius: Yeah and I forgot it's Valentine's day today
Little Shit: I fail to see how that correlates. You're not even dating
Sirius: we're not but I've been gone on him for almost a year now and I promised myself I’d do something about it on Valentine's day because if he doesn't feel the same then I can just play it off as platonic? Friends give each other stuff for Valentine's right?
Little Shit: hmm okay, I see. What's your plan then
Sirius: I don't have any! That's why I'm texting you. I just remembered it's today.
Little Shit: oh then you're fucked
Sirius: 😑
Sirius: why do I even bother asking you
Little Shit: No, I mean it. Everything Valentine's-day-related will be sold out. Especially if you planned to pick it up on your way from work in the evening
Sirius: what are you doing for Kingsley
Little Shit: we are a mature couple secure in our love for each other, far above this capitalist holiday that only supports unnecessary consumerism
Sirius: so you either forgot as well or it's a sex thing
Little Shit: I most definitely didn't forget
Sirius: gross
Little Shit: YOU ASKED
Sirius: ANYWAY
Sirius: I never felt like this about anyone. Whenever I fancied someone in the past, the only thing I cared about was whether I liked them enough to be bothered with them.
Little Shit: Jesus Sirius, you are such an arrogant wanker
Sirius: I'm aware. But then James and Lily died and I had to take care of Harry and figure out a completely new life for us so there wasn't time for anything else
Sirius: Harry was just a year old, I had no clue what I was doing, I missed James and Lily like crazy and idk if you know this but I was honestly close to loosing it.
Sirius: So I decided to hire a nanny but Harry refused to stop crying if I left the flat without him and he hated all the nannies so when I found Remus I was so relieved and happy to see them getting along I didn't realise I fancied him until about a year later
Sirius: And now it's been another year since then and idk if the grief broke something in me but I'm much more concerned about how HE sees me and whether I'm even good enough for him? I care about him liking me.
Sirius: And I don't want to make it weird since I'm basically employing him. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable around me if he doesn't reciprocate my feelings.
Little Shit: wow I did not expect this conversation to turn into a serious heart to heart chat
Little Shit: It probably repaired something, not broke, if you care about other people's emotions now
Sirius: fuck you, I'm trying to be honest here
Sirius: how you ended up married to one of the kindest people I know is still beyond me
Little Shit: no clue. You know we started fucking first year of uni and then he somehow proposed 6 years later so don't ask me.
Sirius: I don't think that will work with Remus
Little Shit: You sure? Maybe it would if you tried 😏
Sirius: I'm officially done asking you for help
Unfortunately, Sirius doesn't have any more time to figure it out himself because he has to attend another meeting. And then another. Then his coworker needs help with something and before he knows it it's 6pm and he still has nothing. Fuck.
When he finally gets home, it's half-past seven. All he managed to get was some takeout for him and Remus to share and the ugliest, most wilted bouquet he has ever seen somebody sell. He's 70% sure these flowers were taken out of a bin. But he was desperate so he's grateful the florist hadn’t told him they have nothing left like the one before. It feels more like an apology for making Remus stay longer than they agreed in the morning (again) than a spectacular Valentine's day surprise to win him over.
He feels dejected and useless and totally undeserving but one look through the kitchen door is all it takes to make him feel on top of the world.
Remus is standing by the stove, holding Harry, who is already in his pyjamas, balanced on his hip, both of them looking into the oven. They haven't noticed he came home yet. With the light coming from the oven painting Remus’s hair and features in the colours of gold and the genuine excitement on Harry’s face, they’re the perfect picture of domestic bliss.
"Awe they done?" Harry asks.
Sirius smiles. Harry still hasn't learned how to pronounce "r" properly and in Sirius' humble opinion it's the most adorable thing in the world.
"I think so, let me check," Remus says. He sits Harry down on the kitchen counter, far enough so the hot air from the oven doesn't hit him and puts on the oven mitts he once leant to Sirius when he found out Sirius didn’t own any and never took back.
Harry starts clapping happily when Remus takes out a steaming tray of cookies from the oven. He reaches out but he’s quickly stopped by Remus. “Don’t touch them yet, Harry. They’re too hot, you could burn yourself,” Remus explains.
“But I wanna see,” Harry says and starts wiggling on the counter.
“Okay, let me get you closer. But no touching, okay?” Remus says and picks Harry back up. He still hasn’t taken off the oven mitts. If the pair of them were adorable before, Sirius is now positively melting to the floor from cuteness.
Remus holds Harry closer to the tray. “Better now?”
Harry gasps. “Wemus, they awe pewfect!”
Remus laughs. “Yeah, they are. And you made them almost by yourself, Harry! You’re awesome!”
Sirius must have made a choked up sound because suddenly both Remus and Harry turn to him. Harry immediately yells “Siwius!” and starts wiggling out of Remus’ hold. Remus winces, the yell was probably too close to his year and he quickly puts Harry down.
Harry runs to Sirius and starts tugging on his pants, demanding to be picked up. “Hey, buddy,” Sirius says as he hoists him up in his arms.
“Siwius, we made cookies fow you! Special cookies because Wemus said it’s love day!” Harry says, his volume still way too high.
“Did he now?” Sirius says and walks into the kitchen.
“Hi Remus, sorry I’m late,” he says and he nearly kisses him hello. He’s so startled by how natural that action seemed to his brain that he almost doesn’t stop himself in time.
So now he’s standing way too close to an amused Remus, with Harry between them tugging on his shirt to look at the cookies. He’s too embarrassed to face Remus right now so he turns his attention to the cookies. They are indeed lovely. Heart-shaped shortbread cookies with the perfect golden edge. Some of them are slightly crooked and several have tiny fingerprints, undoubtedly Harry’s, on them.
“They look amazing, Harry. I can’t wait to try them,” Sirius says and plants a big wet kiss on Harry’s forehead. Harry giggles. “How about you go choose your bedtime story so the cookies can cool down and then we can have some before you go to bed?”
“Okay! But don’t twy them without me!” Harry says and Sirius puts him down.
Remus ruffles Harry’s hair. “Don’t worry, we won’t,” Remus says with a soft smile as Harry runs off to his room.
With Harry gone, Sirius has no other excuse. He looks at Remus.
“Thank you for staying longer. Again.” Sirius says apologetically and shuffles awkwardly.
“It’s alright, I really like staying here,” Remus says with an easy smile. Then as if he only now realises what he said, he freezes and stumbles over his next words. “That is…um…I mean- I-I like Harry. Well obviously. But. Um…I really like this job is what I meant to say,” he says and blushes beautifully.
Sirius is so caught off guard that he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind. “And I really like you!”
Remus’ eyebrows shoot up. Sirius panics. “No, wait! I didn’t mean it! Well, yes I did but please pretend you didn’t hear it!”
This is a disaster, Sirius thinks. He quickly walks to the hallway and comes back to Remus carrying the atrocity of a bouquet. He presents it to Remus with all the confidence he’s able to muster up at the moment. “Remus, I don’t think I can put into words how much you mean to me. And to Harry as well. But this is more about me. Oh god, I’m terrible at this,” Sirius babbles.
The corners of Remus’ mouth start twitching but before he can say anything, Sirius continues.
“I do like you. A lot. I think I might be in love with you. You’re so kind and nice and possibly the sexiest man I have ever seen and I can’t keep it in any longer. I want to spend more time with you and get to know you better than just in between your babysitting and me going to work but I don’t want to make it weird if you don’t feel the same so if you say no I promise to never mention it again,” Sirius says all in one breath.
Then he breathes in deeply. “Remus, will you be my Valentine?” he says and pushes the wilted flowers in Remus’ face.
Remus takes the flowers, smells them and smiles so brightly Sirius feels the urge to shield his eyes. “I would love that.”
Sirius barely has any time to fully realize what Remus just said and suddenly there are warm lips pressed to his cheek and a soft “Thank you for the flowers, they are beautiful,” in his ear. Sirius grins.
“Yeeeessss!”
They jump apart and look in the direction of the squeal. It’s Harry, standing in the doorway.
“Wemus! The love cookies wowked!”