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i.
Kohane was no stranger to being behind the camera. She was really all too familiar with it. It's not like she minded though. It was comforting to her. She was always behind a lens capturing moments, capturing smiles, and even capturing memories.
Unfortunately, it's not like she had a camera on her all the time (except her phone, whose quality wasn't the best). So she often found herself witnessing breathtaking scenes where there was really nothing to capture it.
Even worse, it seemed like she had gotten herself involved with a group of people who were photo-worthy quite literally all the time. If she wasn't in a group with them, she was sure she'd have been their number one fan.
An is dancing to a song that MEIKO has playing on the speakers, somehow mouthing and yelling the lyrics at the same time. The mix of a smile and determination settles on her lips. Her voice cracks but she just laughs it off, grabbing Kohane's hands and pulling her up to dance with her. Their steps are out of sync and off-beat. But it's so genuinely them: each step and each smile that they share just feels so right.
Akito is holding up a shirt to Touya's body despite knowing his exact size. He does the same to An and then to her. She doesn't quite remember why he needs to. She didn't recall him being such a perfectionist. He finishes checking her size, pulling the bill of her hat over her eyes. When she pushes it back up, Akito is laughing with the smug face he always has.
Touya is laughing, for what reason she doesn't know; rather she only knows his smile is so stunning she almost stops breathing. Kohane wants to ask what's funny but refrains. It's not like she dislikes his smile anyway. She notices he's been smiling a lot more lately. She wonders why. Maybe Akito would know. She forgets to ask; his contagious smile soon spreads to her.
The four of them just finished performing. She doesn't want to brag, but Kohane believes they are glowing. She's filled with pride just by being next to them. She wonders, hopes that she glows just as bright as them.
In all honesty, Kohane would love to carry a camera on her at all times for the sole purpose of taking photos of An, Akito, and Touya. However, she knew it would eventually backfire on her. Eventually, she would accidentally build an arsenal of photos of Vivid BAD SQUAD. Or at least, Vivid BAD SQUAD minus her. An would question her. Akito would think she was weird. The two of them would argue, though briefly, about his comments. Touya would mediate it with a soft smile. He would tell her that he likes the photos. Though, he'd express his concerns on how she wasn't included in any—if not most—of them. The other two would stop fighting as all three of them looked at her, waiting for an answer.
Just imagining it made a chill run down her spine. She wouldn't know how to answer that. Would it be weird to say she thinks they're pretty?
She wouldn't be able to handle that sort of awkward situation, so she resorted to her last option; to use her eyes to capture these memories.
Memories she would then have to store in her heart.
ii.
Kohane learns what love languages are today.
She learns that people like to receive and give love differently. She learns that people feel love best when loved in the correct language. It's cute, she thinks; for each person to have a unique way to love.
She wonders what ways the others would love. And so, she sets on a quest to figure them all out, of course, because she is a good friend (obviously). It's only right for her to make sure her friends feel loved in the correct ways.
An is easy for her to guess, of course. Her love is very loud and very obvious. Always draping her arm over her. Always hugging her or pressing her cheek against hers. She grabs her hand and they go running through the streets of their SEKAI. She piles herself on Kohane's back, complaining about her recent test score. To An, it's a normal thing to be physically close to others. It's a normal thing to show off her affection. So, Kohane stores this information in the back of her mind. She makes sure she can love An properly.
Akito is harder to guess. But she notices his ears getting red when she calls him cool or praises him at all. He likes getting compliments, she finds out. She thinks that it is perfectly in character for him. So she compliments him more (much to An's displeasure and Touya's confusion). She notices how he starts to awkwardly compliment her more often as well. How cute. Kohane is almost surprised as she thinks that. She takes the thought and locks it away. Akito would surely hate her if he knew she called him cute. She laughs at that thought (it almost makes him a little cuter, but don't tell him that).
She often finds herself sitting quietly with Touya. Not many words are exchanged between them, just idle chatter. It's a bleak contrast with her time with An, but she likes it. Quietly studying or reading a book. Maybe even watching new choreography ideas online. And sometimes in a loud arcade, the two of them are quiet as she watches him carefully play the claw machine. He wins so many prizes that her arms almost can't hold everything he gave to her. She realizes that just being with Touya is the best she can do. She smiles at the thought: she doesn't mind being with him either.
iii.
"KOHAAANEEE-CHAAAAAAN!" Emu slams into her back. Kohane almost falls to the ground if not for Emu hugging her tight enough to keep her up.
"Is something wrong, Emu-chan?" She regains her balance. Emu looks like she ate glitter for breakfast this morning. And in all honesty, Kohane wouldn't even put it past her.
"I learned the most WONDERHOY thing today! Tsukasa-kun told me!" She is jumping up and down at this point, it almost makes her dizzy. "It's about your Touya-kun!☆''
"My… My what?"
"Oops! Was I not supposed to say that?" Emu covered her mouth with the pads of her fingers. "Waaaaaaaah! Tsukasa-kun is gonna be mad at me!"
"U-uh—! Don't cry Emu-chan!" She so badly wants to ask Emu what she means; did something happen to Touya?
She easily recovered, bouncing on her toes. "Kohane-chan! Promise me you'll forget what I just said!" Emu held her pinky out in front of her.
"Okay… Um… Do you want to eat lunch with me?" Kohane laughed awkwardly, she linked her pinky with Emu's. There's something that tells her something is up. That Emu knows something that she doesn't, but she doesn't let it bother her too much.
"Yay! Yay! Let's go!"
Emu is an entity of pure energy that Kohane learns not to question.
iv.
She'd be an idiot not to notice.
She notices the slightly awkward tension of the room as she enters the SEKAI. An is quiet; she doesn't spring up and welcome her immediately. Akito and Touya almost look distant. It's appalling.
She doesn't say anything, but the next day it's normal. Or at least, it seems like it.
She can only wonder what happened.
v.
She doesn't really know why she agreed to this. Well, she did, but she definitely regretted agreeing.
It was cold. Unbearably cold at that. In hindsight, she really should've put on more layers, it was a mistake on her part. If not for Emu practically begging her to come, she would probably be at home wrapped in blankets studying for the upcoming exam.
She really didn't know which she would prefer right now.
"Azusawa?"
Kohane immediately turned at the voice, spotting the familiar two-toned hair she sees all the time. "Aoyagi-kun! Why are you here?"
"Tsukasa-senpai invited me. What about you?"
"Emu-chan invited me…"
"Look! It really is Kohane and Touya! I wasn't hallucinating." An appeared, dragging Akito behind her, fingers wrapped around his wrist (because, of course, they would never hold hands). "Why are you guys here? Mizuki gave us their extra tickets."
It took Kohane a second to process everything. Coincidentally they were all invited to Phoenix Wonderland on the same day. And coincidentally they all met up at the same spot. Of course, the little bell sound that escaped from her phone confirmed her suspicions: a message from Emu claiming something came up.
Before Kohane could even mention what she just learned, Touya dropped his jacket around her shoulders. It's still warm, she can tell (even through her own jacket). He held his jacket on her shoulders, silently preventing her from giving it back to him. Her cheeks grew warmer, whether it was from embarrassment or something else she didn't know. "It seems like… we were set up." He smiled softly at her, stuffing his phone in one of his remaining pockets. She guesses that he got a similar text.
She ignores the cold air against her warming cheeks. She ignores the hands that held themselves onto her shoulders as if using her as a hand warmer. She even ignores the questioning stares of An and Akito. She quietly accepted the jacket, pulling it closer to her body.
She laughed softly, head tilting slightly. "Ah, well, I understand we were set up. I just don't get why. I wonder why they had to… trick us?" If she was going to be completely honest, she would have been more excited to come if An, Touya, or Akito invited her, not Emu (don't tell that to her though).
Well, maybe if she wasn't so dense she would realize why.
vi.
"Ah! Kohane!" An called out to her as soon as she walked through the front gates, hands waving her over. "We came to pick you up!" True to her words, Akito and Touya stood behind her leaning on the walls of the gate.
"Did I make you all wait long?"
Akito pushed himself off with his feet. "No, we just got here." He patted her on the back, sliding her bag off her shoulder and slinging it over his own. An's bag is being held by Touya.
"We would've waited for you either way," Touya was smiling slightly (she didn't know why). She returned one back.
"Blah, blah, blah," An said, rolling her eyes. A smile quickly appeared as she grabbed Kohane's hand. "Last one there has to pay for our outfits next event!"
"Eh? A-An-chan?!" Kohane was pulled along with her. She had to quicken her pace in order to keep up. Students moved out of the way so they could pass through, An yelled thanks to them as they ran by.
"On to WEEKEND GARAGE we go!" An laughed, her arm outstretched and pointing forward. She looked back at Kohane, beaming at her. She really was as bright as Kohane thought.
Kohane laughs too, the wind blowing in her hair. It was bound to be messed up by the time they arrived. She didn't mind much, An would probably volunteer to tie it again for her.
Akito ended up winning, by the way. Even with their very short head start and him carrying two bags on him, apparently soccer players (even a retired one) can run much faster and longer than a normal person. Either that, or it was because Kohane got tired partway through that An slowed down for her, keeping their hands together despite Kohane urging her to continue on. Touya lost, though it didn't really seem like he tried that hard to win. An took back her statement from before, even though he still agreed to pay.
Her heart is beating dangerously fast and her legs are tingling. She thinks it's because they ran, but her heart never settles down. Before she met them, Kohane wouldn't have dreamed of running through the streets laughing. In all honesty, it still felt like a dream. And yet, somehow the stars aligned in a way where all four of them became a group. They walk through the doors of WEEKEND GARAGE, Akito complaining and drinks waiting for them.
If it really was a dream, she prays that she never wakes up.
vii.
Kohane always hated when people looked at her. Staring at her face like something was wrong with it. Like she was the star of the newest reality TV show that was airing on Channel who-knows-what. Watching her every movement for every little mistake. Was she walking weirdly? Did her clothes look bad on her? Was her hair messed up? No, stop thinking about that. Breathe.
Was she breathing weirdly? Was she—Oh. She's doing it again.
It's hard to stop—no—it's impossible to stop. She comes to terms with the fact that she'll never be used to stares. Even as she's on stage, hundreds looking at her, she'll never rid of that sliver of insecurity that plants itself in her brain and plagues her mind.
But An. But Akito. But Touya. But Vivid BAD SQUAD. But them, together .
An. An with stars in her hair and stars in her eyes. An who chose her to be her partner. An who decided they would be by each other's sides. An who led her out of the darkness and into the stars. An who calls her just to scream happy birthday at midnight, making sure she's the first one. They stay up for a few hours after, just talking. An who looks at her with such bright eyes. She's always excited to see her. An who sees her for who she is.
Akito. Akito with the rough hands and even rougher words. He looks at her with such confidence. It's funny, she thinks: he looks at her like he never doubted her for a second (though, she knows the truth to that). He gives her encouragement. Akito who sees her drive to get better. Akito who sees her potential. Akito who believes they can become legends. Akito who believes she is good enough to become a legend alongside him. Akito who believes in her.
Touya. Touya with the quiet words and the quiet actions. He's quiet, straightforward, soft. Touya who fixes her hair and hat when they get messed up after dancing. Touya who cheers silently. Touya who buys new clothes for something as small as one of her performances. Touya who rests his arm on her head like she's an armrest because he's so tall and she's so… not. Touya who started giving her candy and toys after his visits to the arcade because he noticed they made her happy. Touya who can read her expressions so easily. Touya who can tell what she's thinking with just a look.
Yes, she knows that somewhere, in the back of her mind, these insecurities still sit; there's not much she can do about that. But the confidence she gains. The experiences. The affirmation. An, Akito, and Touya. It's irreplaceable. They are irreplaceable.
Oh.
In the end, she finds that she doesn't really mind if the eyes staring at her are from the three she's grown to love.
viii.
A soft blush settles itself on her cheeks. She can't even hold back her smile as she buries her face into her pillow.
So this is love, huh?
In any other circumstances, she might've been panicking. The sheer thought of loving someone was scary. If she told her past self she would fall in love with three people, she is sure she would've passed out on the spot.
But it really feels so right. Loving them only seemed natural.
ix.
Unknowingly, she's become hyper-aware of everything and anything that is related to her newfound crush.
She notices that she's the first to arrive at practice as soon as she opens the door. MEIKO is humming as she prepares their drinks and snacks. A short greeting is exchanged as Kohane is passed her drink, whipped cream towering over her cup. If she just peeks over slightly, she can see the cup of black coffee that Touya will drink later. A plate of pancakes is ready to be topped for Akito. There's a clean ice cream scoop resting next to a bowl for An.
Her body jumps as the bell on top of the door to Crase Cafe rings. It's just Miku, she finds, she's relieved for a split second, but then a slight twinge of disappointment appears.
Isn't Touya usually the first to arrive?
x.
"Shinonome-kun, you really—"
"Shut up before I drop you on accident," he huffed. Kohane would assume he was mad if he hadn't been carrying her on his back (she thoroughly refused being carried in his arms, this was the compromise). "I'm not going to let you walk around and hurt yourself right before our gig." She had tried convincing him to let her down in multiple ways, multiple times. None of them worked, obviously.
She had only rolled her ankle, really. Only a slight limp as she walked. It wasn't a big deal, honestly. But apparently it was, to Akito at least. If anything, what was a big deal to her was Akito possibly hearing the sound of her heartbeat. Or, at the most, feeling it. It had been a bad day to choose to practice further away from the cafe.
She gave up eventually, she could probably make something up if he did notice. She rested her arms around his chest making sure not to choke him. As they walked, she rested her chin on her arm, cheek pressing against him. He smelled nice, she thought. Not like she would say that to him outloud.
xi.
She remembers as a child, her parents would talk about love. Even growing up, her classmates would do the same. They would fantasize and gush about how one day they would find "the one." How one day, she would find her person to love. She remembers believing it was only possible to have enough love for one person.
Oh how wrong she was.
To her, love seems like an infinite resource. It seems like she can find it anywhere and at any time. There is no shortage of it. She finds it every touch, every look, and every moment. Even when she doesn't look, there's still love all around her.
And hey, maybe it's not usually there. Maybe it's rough or messy. It's clumsy and it fumbles between her fingers. It's too loud or too quiet. But this love was created with her own heart. This love was hers.
xii.
She thinks that maybe, maybe she has a chance. She thinks they might love her back, even if only a slight fraction of how she feels for them.
Maybe her brain is tricking her into thinking that she has the slightest chance. Maybe this love they have for her isn't the slightest bit romantic.
But for her. For her, love fills in every corner of her being. She can't contain it all; it spills out onto her lap and drips from her fingertips. Her heart beats a million times per minute at just one touch, one look, one moment. And yet she still wants more. Every second that passes she wants to love them more. She's so in love she thinks she might burst into a thousand pieces. She hopes her heart can handle it.
Kohane makes up her mind easily. There was just one problem though:
She hasn't really figured out how to confess (only that it needs to be in the least awkward way possible). It seems like she was in for a challenge.