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Only those that went through this living hell will fully understand the pain. No one should go through this at such a young age but Asura did, unfortunately. Everything was still so vivid in his subconscious, reminding him every single day of what he had done and the consequences of it.
That is why it was so easy for him to concentrate fully during battles. He didn't have any choice to begin with, so pouring his soul into those massacres was a form of escape from his constant suffering. It did not disappear because of the blood and thirst for fight no but it sure does help to reduce that feeling. Coupled that with astronomus loneliness and you have a deathly cocktail of crippling depression. Something that Asura tried to ignore for the longest time.
The god of war is mighty but also fragile. However, regarding the second part, lots of people seem to voluntarily push it aside without another thought.
Except for one lotus man.
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Hours, days, months and even years couldn't stop Asura to plunge down into his haunting past. The second he finishes a task, those horrible nightmares are immediately catching up to him, sticking like an invisible plague. Only he was the spectator of his own misfortune.
As if everything was a preposterous infinite circus, to just torment him no matter what, no matter where he is … No wonder why he gave in willingly so many times to a demented state when fighting demons.
Those thoughts were difficult to deal with but less overwhelming the instant Taishakuten was calming him.
It helps Asura more than anything in the world. Being able to encounter this kind of salvation during those dark times, is just a miracle. A moment of peace. Even just a little one was something the tall Celestial would have never imagined to have.
Asura sometimes wonders if it ever bothered Taishakuten to stay close to him, whenever the tall man had his bad memories resurface. It was not a pleasant moment for the war god but was it the case too for his good friend?
Taishakuten already deals daily with the overflowing mishmashed emotions and thoughts of everyone else.
Having to help Asura on top of that, how not feeling guilty over it? Sure, the platinum blonde will say otherwise and try to convince his hero to never think that way but it's complicated to not do so.
"Why are you frowning so much today, Asura? Are you feeling unwell?"
A worried voice suddenly took the God of war out of his reverie.
"... Taishakuten …."
"Yes? Were you hav-"
Asura suddenly cuts short his best friend's question, standing up quickly from his resting spot.
"No. I was just thinking about you and how you are always there to help me recover. Isn't it too tiring?"
A faint smile appeared on Taishakuten's face, subtly indicating that Asura's numerous thoughts about the empath were true.
"Direct to the point, as usual" the blonde sighed softly.
"I won't deny that it can be difficult at times but I always find a way to overcome those hardships. Like you, on the battlefields"
"Don't push yourself too much. You already know about this, Taishakuten"
"I can tell you the same thing then" his hands on his own hips, almost like a mother ready to scold her son. "Asura, I will always be by your side. No matter the adversities" his expression softened bit by bit.
Strangely, the god of war seemed a bit reassured by these words. He knew Taishakuten had a stronger heart and he could always talk about any subjects with him too, whenever he was ready for it.
"I did new lotus pastries, I was hoping you could try some today"
"If you've said it was ghost devil peppers pastries instead, I would have followed you immediately ~" swiftly running away in front of the pale Celestial.
"I swear I did not use too much sugar this time! Hey!" catching up after him, partially sulking. It wasn't at all THAT sugary!
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After tasting a tiny piece of pastry out of sympathy for his best friend, the mighty god of war had to take a pause, with a ghost pepper in hand outside of the blonde's tent.
"I'm sorry Asura, I swear I used a little amount of sugar … Are you feeling alright?" coming next to him, checking how his black haired friend was.
"I'm okay, don't worry too much. I won't falter just because of one cake" slowly taking a bite of his favourite fruit in the process.
"True. The last time, you ate way more sugar in one go" he laughed softly, thinking of how he managed to discreetly insert 20 cubes of sugar into Asura's lotus seed soup.
"You little rascal, I still remember that" pinching slightly one of Taishakuten's cheeks.
They both laughed after that, enjoying this sweet time together. The matte skinned Celestial whispered something to his ear, much to the confused face the pale empath made but Taishakuten simply responded afterwards with a warm smile.
Thank you.
Evidently, the deep depression won't magically be erased with a single snap of fingers but alleviating the heaviness of it thanks to Asura's intimate friend, was indeed, a real miracle to witness.
The hero of the Celestials will someday know what real peace can be. For Taishakuten, for himself and the people. He was in the right place for this wish, to become a reality for everyone.
No matter the suffering, no matter the years it might take to achieve it, Asura, Taishakuten and the Wings will find a way.