Work Text:
it was rare that jeongin got a chance to take the trip across the country from seoul to his hometown of busan. so when he finally did, it was a treat.
the trip was everything he needed, even if he only got to spend two and a half days with his family. his brothers teased him and he teased them back, happy to be able to do it in-person rather than over text messages. he took his mom to an art museum, since she was the only art lover in their family, and jeongin figured he could learn from her. his dad spoiled him more than usual, giving him the good cuts of meat at mealtimes. the familiar twang of busan accents made him smile.
the day he left, his parents did a little extra spoiling. his mom made his favorite seaweed soup for lunch and bought him bubble tea at his favorite shop before he got on his train. the train was set to leave at three in the afternoon. it wasn’t an agonizing ride, only about three hours including the time traveling to and from the station. with the afternoon sun shining brightly outside the window, jeongin didn’t think much of the journey.
this was probably his… tenth? eleventh? maybe his twelfth time taking the train by himself back to seoul. when he was still a young trainee, sometimes one of his parents would accompany him, or he’d try to go with another trainee living in busan. now jeongin was an idol. maybe it meant traveling was supposed to be more dangerous, but he had come to enjoy the quiet train rides. he chose to sit in one of the back compartments, which were usually a little less busy.
he only had one piece of luggage with him, a duffel bag, and it was a little too big to stuff under the seat or lift onto the overhead compartment. luckily, the express train from busan to seoul wasn’t too full. not too many people traveling on a tuesday afternoon, jeongin supposed. he sat up straight in his seat to look around the train car. there was nobody else in his row, and the nearest person was almost halfway across the train car. he had a lot of space, so he put his bag neatly on the seat across him.
leaving his luggage there meant that he had to pay attention to it, which was a little annoying. jeongin kind of wanted to go to the bathroom before the train left. it wasn’t an urgent need, but he’d eaten a lot of soup at lunch and wanted to play things safe for the three-hour ride. he usually made sure to take a bathroom break before leaving, but they’d gotten caught up in taking pictures and he’d forgotten to go.
still, he couldn’t leave his seat. he had to watch his bag, make sure nobody touched it. thievery wasn’t a huge concern in either seoul or busan, but he wasn’t stupid enough to leave his luggage unattended on his seat. he hadn’t put anything expensive inside– his phone and wallet were tucked into his jacket pockets– but he still had some of his things inside. some clothes, toiletries, a couple lyric sheets and music papers that he brought home to review. before he’d left, his dad had given him a new pillow to replace the old one in the dorm, and that took up the most space. thinking about it, his phone charger was probably the only thing of remote value he had. still, it was his stuff, and he didn’t want it to get stolen.
aside from his bag, all he had was the shiny plastic cup in his hand. the bubble tea his mom had gotten was his favorite flavor, and his mom had insisted on getting the largest size they had. “when are you ever going to get to have this chain’s bubble tea again? not until you get back to busan, which will be way too long.” she’d explained, and he couldn’t quite argue with her logic. it would probably be at least a few weeks to a few months before he had a long enough break in his schedule to come back home.
he sipped at the drink idly as the train sat in the station, watching the people bustling around in the station. he’d arrived ten minutes early, enough time to get settled.
he sat patiently as the train gave off its five-minute warning, then the one-minute warning, and finally the doors closed. the mundane sound of the engines humming filled his ears as he set off to seoul. the busan landscape disappeared as the train chugged by. the view outside the window was loosely familiar, scenes he’d passed by every time he took the train back home. the familiar views were met with an odd nostalgia, of all the times he’d come home through the years training and debuting.
suddenly, he tipped his head forward to take a sip of his bubble tea, and realized he was only gasping at air. the drink disappeared more quickly than he’d expected, even though jeongin had been telling himself he’d savor the taste and drink slowly. it was a bad habit of his, ingesting food so quickly that it seemed it had never even existed in the first place. he put the empty container in the cupholder beside him, turning to scroll mindlessly through his phone. maybe he could catch up on one of those dramas hyunjin had been pestering him to watch.
lost in the episodes of a drama he hadn’t started watching yet, the train whirred past cities and jeongin paid little attention. he couldn’t tell exactly how much time had passed when the announcement system crackled to life above his head. “ attention passengers, this train is currently experiencing delays on the tracks between gimcheon and daejeon stations. we will be experiencing some wait times. we apologize for the inconvenience. thank you for traveling with ktx! ”
the announcement began repeating in english. jeongin sighed, looking up from his phone. a delay? this spelled out extra travel time, whether it was ten minutes or a few hours. he hoped it wouldn’t last long. now that he thought about it, he kind of had to–
he sighed as he realized he had to use the bathroom. how far did the train say they were? delays between gimcheon and daejeon? that meant they were just under halfway through the trip. he glanced at his phone to check the time. he’d been here for an hour, maybe, and he’d have to wait for… at least a few hours more. that was irritating.
but it wasn’t that bad, was it? jeongin had been in similar situations before and gotten out fine. concerts that lasted two, three hours while he was staying hydrated to keep his throat lubricated. airplane rides where he didn’t want to get up from his seat, in fear of running into someone who might recognize him. a couple hours on a somewhat full bladder was manageable. he’d done it before, it wouldn’t kill him to do it again.
he went back to his phone, frowning as he saw the train begin to slow… and then come to a stop. well, that was inconvenient. not just a delay, but an outright stop. he tried to ignore his bladder entirely and focus on the drama playing from his phone. if he watched the whole way through, he might be able to finish half of the first season by the time he arrived in seoul. hyunjin would be proud when he came back to the dorm and announced his new familiarity.
the need to relieve himself crept up on him slowly. at first, he could ignore the need, distract himself with the stunning emotional scenes on his screen. but the feeling got worse and worse, and soon enough he was desperately trying to think of scenarios that would let him relieve his bladder.
maybe his bag would be fine if he just left it for a few minutes? but no, it wasn’t worth it. he didn’t exactly trust any of the strangers in the train to watch it for him. not that he could even consider it when he was technically a public figure. what if someone went snooping through his bag and tried to publicize the lyric sheets for songs that weren’t out yet, or tried to sell his random belongings?
he couldn’t do it within his own conscience, and yet the nagging feeling from his bladder kept suggesting otherwise. many times, he seriously considered just trying to take his bag with him to the bathroom, even though some concerned passenger might think he was trying to conduct some sort of sketchy business inside. and that would just lead to unwanted attention.
his leg bounced up and down, a frantic attempt to distract him from the pain. he kept his eyes determinedly locked on his phone screen. he could still focus on the drama, even though his mind kept going back to his bladder and its uncomfortable fullness.
minutes passed— ten, twenty, thirty. the train was still standing where it was, seemingly on the edge of a town. jeongin was starting to get worried.
now, he really had to pee. possibly more than he ever had to in his life. tingling sensations traveled through his abdomen and made him shiver. he unbuttoned the top button of his jeans, fluffing his shirt back over to cover the opening. he’d hoped it would reduce the pressure on his bladder, but it barely made a difference.
as much as he tried to fight it, he began squirming slightly in his seat, crossing his legs and rocking back and forth. his bladder was really quite full now, uncomfortable sensations dancing through his abdomen.
i have to pee, i have to pee, i have to pee, his thoughts were only focused on his situation now.
he glanced at the empty bubble tea cup beside him– maybe he could just go inside?-- but he shot down the idea immediately. the security cameras on the train could capture him, and he could get arrested for indecent exposure and probably destroy his career.
he groaned quietly as the urge to let go swept through him once more. he had to go so badly now, with absolutely no idea of what he could do to feel better. he rubbed his hands over the tops of his thighs, trying to fight the burning need to let go. he really doubted he’d be able to hold on long enough to get back to seoul, but he was taking this minute by agonizing minute. he felt like he could lose it at any moment.
maybe one of his hyungs could help him. he grabbed his phone, still bouncing his legs in desperation. he called the first member who came to mind.
“hello? iyen-ah?” the familiar voice emerged from the device.
“hyung,” jeongin tried not to whine. “the train is delayed.” now that he was actually on the phone, he was too shy to admit what was happening.
“oh,” seungmin hummed. “yeah, that’s okay, innie. we don’t have any schedules tonight. it’s fine if you come back a little late.”
“yeah, but–” he shoved a hand between his legs as a wave of desperation hit, biting his lip hard to stop himself from whining. “i just– i just–” he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. his voice was strained and weak from his frantic efforts to control himself.
“what are you trying to say, aegi?” seungmin asked softly, a hint of amusement in his tone.
“i don’t feel so well,” jeongin all but whimpered, bending forward in a desperate attempt to reduce the pressure. he didn’t want to talk loudly and attract attention from any of the other passengers sitting in the train.
“aww, innie. i’m sorry to hear that.” seungmin actually sounded a bit pitying, rare for the snarky vocalist. “do you have motion sickness from the train, or something?”
“no, i just–” he dropped his phone on the armrest so that he could press a hand to his mouth. the urge grew stronger, forcing a whimper from his throat. he was so close to losing it. “oh my god,” he gasped involuntarily as he felt the liquid threatening to escape him. he squeezed his crotch harder. ”i don’t feel so good. i want to get off,” he said weakly, voice quivering.
“oh, aegi, i’m sorry. i wish i could help you, but you know i can’t do anything about the train. does talking to me make you feel any better?” seungmin offered.
well, it’s not going to help me get any closer to a bathroom i can use, so not really.
“a little,” he said, squeaking as the pressure built in his bladder. he was barely holding on at this point. “hyung–” he gasped as a few droplets forced their way out, soaking his underwear. “oh–” he yelped, and then he couldn’t hold on anymore.
a hissing sound emerged from his lap as he began to completely piss himself. the hand pressed into his crotch was quickly covered in warm liquid. panicking, jeongin tried to stop the flow, but it was to no avail. wetness flooded the seat and began to drip on the floor, pooling beneath his feet.
the release of all the stress and humiliation had him full-on sobbing now, the hand over his mouth still pressed tightly to muffle his cries. the sheer relief wracked through his body, but the embarrassment of not being able to hold it burned.
the stream kept going, hissing loudly in the otherwise quiet train. hopefully the other passengers wouldn’t hear it over the train’s engine. he watched as the puddle spread over his lap, soaking through the cushion on the seat and flowing down his legs onto the floor. after all this, he couldn’t hold it.
he sniffled pathetically as the stream trickled to an end, his bladder aching even after it was empty. the relief was palpable, but so was the puddle of liquid that he was sitting in.
he had just wet himself on public transit. the thought brought a red flush creeping up his neck, ashamed and embarrassed.
“maknae?” oh god, seungmin was still there on the line. his hyung had just witnessed one of the worst moments of his life. “what’s happening?” seungmin pressed. “are you crying?”
“no,” he said thickly, accompanied with a sniffle. it was so clear he was lying, but he couldn’t admit what just happened.
“what’s wrong, iyen-ah?” seungmin said gently. “talk to me.”
“i have to go,” he burst out, hanging up the call with his clean hand and slumping defeatedly in his seat. a fresh outpouring of tears dotted his cheeks. he was glad that nobody was sitting in the same row as him, no onlookers to witness his shame.
looking down at the mess on his lap, jeongin felt helpless. as the maknae of stray kids, sometimes he felt like he had to prove that he had grown up. but now he just felt like a child who couldn’t hold it.
his phone buzzed from where it was sitting on the armrest. seungmin was calling him back.
he rejected the call, too humiliated to talk to his hyung now.
instead, a text notification popped up on his screen. seungmin was asking him if he was okay. a couple more texts, urging him to respond. and then seungmin threatened to message the other members and tell them something was going on.
that was too much, so naturally jeongin unlocked his phone and sent a quick reply. “i’m fine now,” he typed out. “it wasn’t a big deal. sorry to bother you.” all lies, but he didn’t know what else to do. he didn’t want seungmin to go reporting on his situation to anyone else.
seungmin quickly typed out a response, clearly disbelieving him.
“just got to the sad part in that drama hyunjin-hyung recommended me,” he typed back, his hands still shaking from the stress. “someone’s sitting near me so i don’t want to call, i’ll tell you about it when i get back to the dorm.”
seungmin seemed fine to leave it at that, so jeongin put the phone where it’d be safe and dry in his chest pocket. he had bigger things to worry about, like the mess he’d made.
assessing the damage around him, jeongin was relieved to see that the extent of the wetness had only spread to his seat and the puddle beneath it. the seat beside him was still dry, so he leaned across the aisle to take his duffel bag and put it beside him. the motion sent a cold sensation through his legs as the wet fabric was exposed to the air.
with his bag beside him, at least he could sweep it quickly into his lap if he had to hide the wet stain on his jeans. the warmth was cooling, but the stain on his light wash jeans was obvious. jeongin shuffled through his bag and took out a jacket that he could tie around his waist when he stood up. even then, he knew it wouldn’t be able to cover the long streaks down his legs.
and then, of course, the train started moving again. the delay must have been fixed, then.
he closed his eyes, wiping his wet hand on his jeans. not like they weren’t already soaked. at least he had hand sanitizer in his bag to clean his hands. briefly, he considered using the clothes he’d packed to clean the mess, but he figured that would just make things worse.
he felt terrible the whole ride home, trying not to cry. but every single time he glanced down at his lap, the shame engulfed him and he found himself biting his lip. in the air-conditioned train, the cold feeling of piss-soaked jeans had him shivering slightly.
at least he’d taken the express train, the one that went straight from busan to seoul. there wouldn’t be any stops along the way where people might walk past him and notice his situation. the thought wasn’t too comforting as they got closer and closer to seoul, with the stain on jeongin’s pants still blatantly visible. it hadn’t faded or dried away much, if at all, even with an hour’s worth of time.
when it came time to get off the train, he was very particular about disguising himself. there was no way he could possibly allow himself to be photographed in this state. his career would probably be ruined through netizens laughing at his sheer incompetence, fans worrying about his health, maybe even some people accusing him of being some sort of disgusting pervert. anything was possible, really, and he did not want to explore those possibilities. so he was careful, putting on a mask, sunglasses, and his hood.
it turned out that the train station was still decently busy once he’d arrived– because, of course, the train had been delayed so much that they were nearly in rush hour. harried commuters rushed back and forth on the platform. even with the jacket tied tightly around his waist and the bag that he was holding awkwardly in front of the wet spot, he felt exposed.
awkwardly, he waddled over to a wall, standing with his back almost directly against it. he didn’t want to press the wet fabric of his jeans against his skin, so he didn’t dare lean.
instead, he took out his phone and reluctantly dialed the number.
“hey, iyen-ah. finally calling me back, are you?”
jeongin bit his lip, shy to admit what had happened. “seungmin-hyung, can you meet me at the station? there was… there was an accident on the train.” he breathed carefully, trying not to attract the attention of the random passerby.
“WHAT?” seungmin gasped, so loudly that jeongin rapidly mashed the button to lower the volume on his phone. “aegi oh my god, did you get hurt? are you okay? what do you mean, there was an accident, what happened?” seungmin was not usually a man of many words, so it was pretty obvious when he got worried. the anxious words would spout out of his mouth endlessly.
“no, no, no, hyung stop freaking out, nothing happened with the train.” jeongin hissed. “i just… it was me. i had an accident.” he said quietly, hoping that nobody was paying attention to him from where he stood against the wall.
“you… oh.” seungmin was silent for a second, the realization passing over him. “do you need a change of clothes, or…” he hesitated.
“i have clothes in my duffel bag.” jeongin explained. “i just… can you come? i’m embarrassed.”
“okay. okay, i’m on my way.” seungmin says, and jeongin was grateful the vocalist at least wasn’t trying to baby him this time.
the station was only about a ten minute-walk from the stray kids dorm, so jeongin braced himself to be there a while. he tried to make himself look as unassuming as possible, tucking his face low into his jacket collar and scrolling through his phone. he’d plugged it into his power bank for the last half hour of the ride, so it was still in good shape.
seungmin was texting him, which seemed a little dangerous to do while walking the busy streets of downtown seoul. but jeongin could appreciate the distraction. his hyung asked him where he was on the platforms, complained about the recent weather, inquired about his trip to busan. jeongin could almost forget that he’d completely wet himself, if not for the cold feeling of wetness plastered to the back of his legs.
surprisingly, seungmin showed up in only a handful of minutes. “iyen-ah?” the familiar voice chimed beside him.
“hyung?” he blinked in surprise, looking up from his phone. “oh, i didn’t expect you to be that fast.”
“took a taxi,” seungmin shrugged. “I didn’t want to leave you all sad and alone.”
ordinarily, jeongin would protest with some sort of sharp comeback, insisting he wasn’t sad, but he figured now was not the time for it.
“let’s go to the bathroom and you can change?” seungmin suggested quietly. “just don’t act weird and i promise you, nobody will notice.”
before the maknae could say anything, seungmin had grabbed his arm and was leading him towards the bathrooms at the end of the station. jeongin’s cheeks flushed, ready to hear gossipy whispers around him. but seungmin turned out to be right– the two of them blended in with the exhausted, end-of-day commuter crowd, and nobody spared a second glance.
when they’d finally gotten to the bathroom, seungmin held his bag as he changed. he’d washed his clothes at home before leaving, but now they’d be dirty again. of course, he’d wash them back at the dorms, but it was still annoying to have to do a second load.
when he’d finally emerged, his wet jeans and underwear stuffed into a plastic bag that seungmin had brought for him, the two of them set off back home– walking this time.
“i’m not paying for another taxi ride,” seungmin insisted. “plus, i’m sure you’re tired of sitting after all that time on the train.”
jeongin shrugged, feeling his wet shoes squishing beneath his feet with every step he took. “i think i’ve had enough of the train for now, that’s for sure.”
“fair enough,” seungmin chuckled airily.