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Water rushed in to splash over Lumine’s feet, and before she could relish in the cool touch of the sea, it receded just as fast as it came. As the sun set and the tides changed upon the beaches of Guyun Stone Forest, Lumine felt suddenly lost amongst the waters she had tread so many times. She was collecting seashells from the sands, a passive habit she had gained while traveling in Liyue. While the waters of Mondstadt were beautiful, nothing was as awe-inspiring as the stone spears of Rex Lapis’ ancient godly wars.
Looking upon the massive rocks, she tried to imagine the wars of the past, how her friend Zhongli would ravage those who had wronged him and his country. The young traveler attempted to feel the power and disaster that these lands once felt upon their shores, but it was hard when all these shores did was bring the girl peace. Now, memories of her own covered the destruction of wars long over. Thoughts filled with conversation and blushing glances and a freckled face looking back at her, ocean eyes reflecting a golden sun.
Lumine wished she could replace these thoughts with the true horror of these sands, but the water had washed away those memories, only leaving behind the footsteps of recent past. These sands had seen horrible fights only days previous, but somehow peace had returned to Liyue faster than she could’ve imagined, with everyone uniting to aid one another. They told Lumine that she was their inspiration, but even she couldn’t fully rejoice with everyone. Not when the bitter sting of betrayal covered her heart.
As she picked up another shell and ran her fingers over the grooves, Lumine forced herself to hold back tears, remembering things she wished she couldn’t. It had been only a week or so ago when she was walking with Childe in this very archipelago.
“Snezhnaya is too cold for beaches like these. It’s too icy.”
“I’m shivering at the thought,” Lumine had responded.
“Don’t be so quick to write them off, though. They can be quite romantic.”
“A frozen beach? Romantic?”
“Nothing makes a date better than holding someone close to keep from freezing. Maybe even giving them your scarf when they shiver against you… pretty romantic, no?”
Lumine wasn’t convinced.
“I’ll take you on a walk there someday, girlie. Then you’ll be won over by the true power of a Snezhnayan beach.”
Lumine smiled back at him, cheeks flushed as she imagined her and Childe walking close together in the way he described.
“I look forward to it.”
That walk wouldn’t come, though. She knew now that Childe’s former imaginings were never meant to become reality. The sand under her feet shifted and washed away like the wishes she once harbored in her heart. In remembering them now, she hoped to let them go forever, back out to the ocean. They no longer served her.
That didn’t mean the memories weren’t painful, though, as the threat of tears burned in her eyes as she stared into the fiery setting sun. Now that Childe had wreaked havoc upon Liyue harbor, she could never trust him again.
“Hey, girlie.”
She froze at the greeting. Despite hearing it hundreds of times before, she couldn’t help but feel soft butterflies in her stomach at his voice. But this time, the feeling was accompanied by embarrassment at the tears stinging her eyes. How did he know she would be here, thinking about him? Blinking back her pain, she straightened her back and turned to face him.
“What do you want, Childe?” Her hands instinctively turned to fists.
“Nothing, I promise. Just saying goodbye to an old routine.” He, too, had collected a couple of shells in his hands.
“Are you finally leaving?” Lumine delivered her question with a degree of anger, but the thought of him leaving the country left her feeling sadder than before. A betrayal of her loyalties.
“That desperate to get me out of here, huh?”
“Can you really blame me? I mean, you tried to kill me and all of Liyue Harbor, Childe.”
He slowly strode closer to her as she stood with crossed arms.
“Well,” he started while turning a shell in his gloved hands, “I always thought you enjoyed our time together, despite it all.” He gave her a slight smile, blue eyes shining beneath crimson bangs.
“Before the betrayal and backstabbing, sure, I liked spending time with you.”
He was standing right above her now, taking advantage of their height difference. He knew how to intimidate her, or more realistically, make her blush.
“I think you liked it enough to warrant a little more sadness than that, girlie. C’mon, you know you’ll miss me.”
Lumine could only hold eye contact for so long. She turned her golden eyes back towards the ocean. “I’m leaving for Inazuma soon. I’ll be busy looking for my brother. I won’t have time to miss you.”
Childe let out a low chuckle. He stepped beside her and offered her the shell in his hands. The blue and white glistened in the orange sunlight.
“What do you say to shell collecting one last time, girlie? Before you’re too busy to forget about me, of course.”
Lumine turned to look up at his slight smile, almost melancholy if not for what she knew about him.
She gingerly took the shell, “Ok, Childe. One last time.” He broke out in a wide smile at this submission.
“I knew you couldn’t resist me.”
“Don’t push it, Harbinger.” Her own smile cracked the corners of her mouth. He was right, after all. When she saw a smile like that, she couldn’t say no.
The pair slowly strode along the sandy waters, close but with enough distance to avoid brushing hands as they swung at their sides. This walk was a temporary truce, for old times sake. It was an excuse to get some information out of the Fatui leader, too. Or at least that’s what Lumine told herself.
“Where are you headed to next, Childe? Did the Tsaritsa call you back home for time out?”
He rolled his eyes. “No, not yet at least. But I can’t tell you—you might come trying to crash my plans again, no?”
“I’ve got bigger fish to fry, but I could tell certain people who have big grudges against you… they certainly wouldn’t hesitate to put a wrench in your future plans.”
“Ningguang isn’t very intimidating without her Jade Chamber anymore, and I doubt the rest of your Liyue gang could take me in a fight.”
Lumine shook her head. He could never let go of that cocky spirit. “You haven’t met the rest of my friends yet. Don’t underestimate them.” She smiled imagining Childe encountering Venti and the Knights of Favonius. Their spirit would match his in ways he couldn’t comprehend.
“You have no shortage of allies, I know that, Traveler.” He turned to walk backward. “But could they really handle this fierce warrior?” He gestured to himself, flexing his arms a little.
“Archons, you’re embarrassing.” She shielded her eyes from his egregious display.
“Hey, blocking your eyes like that means you’re gonna miss out on shells—oh—like this one!” He had picked up a beautiful round shell and was now waving it in front of her face.
“Hey!” Lumine swatted his arm away and tried to grab the shell so he could stop gloating. He reached it far above his head, out of her reach. She hopped up, trying to snag it, but before she could try another route, Childe took her moment of disarmament as an opportunity to wrap his arms around her waist, hoisting her over his shoulder.
“W-What?! Hey! Put me down you idiot!” Lumine kicked and pounded Childe in the back with her fists, but his strength bested her in this awkward and embarrassing position.
“Stop hitting me and I’ll put you down, girlie.” She couldn’t see his smirk, but she could certainly imagine it plastered onto his face.
“Fat chance—I beat you once, I can do it again.” The Traveler pulled her knee back as she attempted to ram it into his stomach, only to hit him in the abs, leaving both the redhead and the blonde in a little pain.
“Ugh, you just can’t go without a fight, huh?” Lumine wrestled in his arms, wearing herself out uselessly.
“That’s what you— huff— like about me, isn’t it?”
“You got that right.”
Childe grabbed her small frame again, sticking her arms to her sides as he hoisted her off his shoulders and onto the edge of a wrecked boat sitting on the shores. He rooted her to this spot, holding her in place as he stared her down with his crystalline blue eyes. Lumine’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at Childe, frozen in his gaze. The pregnant pause broke only when the young woman began to blush, turning her head away in embarrassment.
“Are you done trying to fight me, girlie?” He leaned down to match her eyes despite her best efforts to avoid his gaze.
Lumine didn’t respond, thinking to herself “ I will never stop fighting you, bastard” but lacking the courage to say it. He took her silence as a yes, though, stepping back and releasing her arms from his solid grip.
“Here’s your shell. You earned it with that display of passion.”
She snatched it from his hands, avoiding looking at the smirk still on his face. She couldn’t stand his games any longer. Childe sat himself down on a rock across from her boat. Silence hung between them for a moment, with nothing but the tides to fill the emptiness.
Lumine slowly brought her gaze back to his, only to find him looking solemnly out at the setting sun. She could be wrong, but she could swear she saw real sadness painted across his freckled face.
“I loved it here, you know. Truthfully speaking.”
His admission both softened her and angered her.
“Of course, I had my orders, but I really did find enjoyment in the time I spent in Liyue. There are good people here,” he looked over to her, “good food too.” She huffed out a laugh at that.
“But the Tsaritsa’s vision for this world…I’m doing what I must. She’s doing it for the good of all of Teyvat.”
That triggered Lumine out of her empathy for the Harbinger.
“How can you still say that?” She stood up, clenching her fists at her sides. “After all the destruction you’ve razed, you still look around and think this is worth it?”
Childe stood up to meet her. “There is more to this world than you yet know, and until you’ve seen it, I can’t expect you to understand, printsessa .” Lumine darkened at this pet name.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why not, girlie? It suits you and your attitude.” He was growing angry too, he could see the glint in his eyes that indicated his thirst for a fight. She had seen it up close and person too much for her own good in the weeks she spent with him.
“Enough with the nicknames! You don’t deserve to know me as anything but the Traveler.”
“Lumine,” he started. She stuttered at hearing him call her by her real name. He rarely did so. “We were friends before, why can’t we still try to be civil with one another, as comrades at least?”
“Is that all I was to you? A comrade? A sparring partner? I doubt you even know what being a real friend means.”
He looked hurt at that comment, admittedly it was harsh. But Lumine believed in the truth of it. She didn’t see how he could believe in their friendship after the worst kind of betrayal imaginable.
“I know what friendship is, Lumine. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?” He chuckled to himself. “I wouldn’t spend that much time picking out shells with someone if I hated their guts. There are far more efficient ways to gather materials than dawdling on a beach.”
“Sorry I was holding you back then.”
“No, that’s not what I meant—”
“Then what did you mean? By any of this?” Lumine’s rage was threatening to spill over. “How can you double-cross someone so heinously when you claim to be their friend? I doubt you even cared about me beyond using me for your stupid mission.”
Childe looked at her with disappointment. “You really are never going to listen to me again, are you?”
“No! Because if I do, I may just fall for you all over again!”
Lumine stood with shock staring at him, realizing the weight of her phrasing.
“I-I mean, I may fall victim to your lies, your tricks, your—I don’t know, whatever you want to call your bullshit.” Lumine could no longer control the red-hot tears now flowing from her golden eyes. She looked directly at Childe who matched her with a look of pity.
The man crossed his arms and said with a soft smile, “You fell in love with me, huh?”
Lumine’s eyes widened. “No, that’s not what I said!”
“You’re a lot worse than me at hiding what you feel. I know what you meant.” He took steps closer to her. She backed away in turn.
“Look, what was I supposed to feel when you were spending all that time with me, calling me special nicknames and looking at me the way that you do.”
“What way?”
“Archons, don’t play stupid with me, Childe. You know what you were doing! It was part of your plan to get me to trust you, wasn’t it?”
“I was trying to be your friend, Lumi, not seduce you.” Confusion mixed in with his pity as he stared at her. She could feel his judgment as he witnessed her breaking down.
“You mean you have no explanation for the walks we went on and the ways you found to touch me and, Archons, even the way you just look at me… none of that had a hint of an ulterior motive?”
Childe looked down and paused for a moment.
“I’m sorry, Lumine, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”
“I don’t believe you!” Lumine shouted. Tears flowed freely now. After all she had been through, the feelings she had developed for the redhead had been completely invented by her. She wouldn’t believe it. She had convinced herself for weeks that he had felt some way about her too, otherwise all the things he said and did would make no sense. But maybe that was the key to her own ignorance. Her crush on the warrior had blinded her to the things he did to get her on his side.
She was embarrassed by her own girlish stupidity. It was delusional. Lumine turned away from him, wiping her tears. But she could still feel him hovering behind her, breath hot against her neck as he looked down upon her. He was so close. It regrettably gave her butterflies.
“I doubt this will make you feel better, but I would never stoop low enough as to make you fall for me. I know there’s only so much a person can take…that would have been cruel.” His low baritone voice against her ear made her shudder.
“But it happened anyways.” She turned to look up at him in the eyes as she said, “I fell in love with you. And you don’t care. But it’s your fault you make me feel like this.”
She may be a fearless warrior, independent through and through, but nothing hurt or scared her more than this feeling. A heart breaking inside her.
Childe looked down on her through his pale lashes, face softening as he reached up to tuck a stray hair behind her ear.
“You deserve better love than what I can give you.”
His hand dropped to his side as he stepped backward.
“Goodbye, printsessa . I wish you luck on your travels. I mean that.” He gave her a slight smile as he turned to walk away, red scarf blowing in the evening winds.
Lumine turned back towards the sun, unable to stomach watching Childe as he strode past the stone spires and sands and gone to wherever he was going. She let herself silently cry; how could he stand by the idea that he didn’t intend to break her heart? No one would act like that unless there were some feelings, or attraction, or feelings she couldn’t even begin to describe. He just didn’t want to admit he was that much more terrible than she already knew.
He was a liar, after all. But he seemed truly sad as he watched her break down over his unreciprocated feelings and betrayal. But that sadness in his eyes made her think. What if he was just not admitting some secret of his own?
Lumine turned around to see where the man had gone, but the Stone Forest was already covered in darkness, and the opportunity to probe him once more had long passed.
Lumine was only left with the memory of her Harbinger walking towards a destiny that was never planned to involve her. There was memory, which was painful, and there was her imagination. She closed her eyes and relished in the final touch of his skin, wondered at how it might have gone had he cupped her face and pulled her in for a kiss. In her mind she allowed herself to imagine the feel of his lips against hers, the magnetism of their bodies towards each other, and what it would be like to hear him call her “my love” instead of one of his silly nicknames. She committed this secondary reality to memory, letting it wash away the heartbreak of the evening.
But her wounds wouldn’t heal that easily. Just as the Stone Forest had taken centuries to turn into these beaches, it would take longer than Lumine cared to admit to heal her own heart. She did not have the whole of Liyue to understand her emotions or carry her along her journey. She was there to help them , not the other way around. Her lack of true-hearted allies dwindled in her mind as she fought to trust anyone moving forward.
But deep inside her, even as days and weeks passed, her soul imagined Childe as the one who would rescue and heal her when even she, the fearless Traveler, fought to go on for another day. She longed for his laughter in the times of darkness. She hoped for his allyship in her toughest fights. She imagined his touch when she lay alone at night. Despite it all, deep within her there was a hope that he may one day return to her life, and maybe then he would be the one to fall in love.