Chapter Text
There are three things Childe loves in the whole of Teyvat: his family, battle and Zhongli. It is true that at first, they had a rough patch with the Osial incident but they made up and became friends once again. As time went on, with letters sent to and from, they started a relationship, with Childe requesting that he be stationed in Liyue indefinitely. The Tsaritsa let him. He thinks that it is because he is her favorite and they understand one another. Besides, he already told her that if she needed him, he would return to her side.
Within the three years that he and Zhongli were in a relationship, Zhongli never initiated; when they kiss, it would be Childe; when they make love, it would be Childe, even when they say 'I love yous', it would be Childe. Childe did not mind, he understood that Zhongli is still learning to be a human, he is learning to feel things but some days, Childe feels insecure. He buried it inside him; he thinks that no one needs to hear about this and he was ashamed of feeling this way. He keeps on thinking that Zhongli chose him and that quells his insecurity; however, his dreams say otherwise.
'He only chose you because you were there, not because he loves you,' Skirk said.
'Shut up,' Childe growled;
'He is a god and you are an Abyss-stained mortal; gods do not love someone like you. They only love those who are on their level; you call what he feels for you love? He only indulges you like a god would indulge those who pray and worship him. You are just one of the many he indulges but love? Please, you are not worth it and even your so-called lover knows that.'
'Shut up! That is not true,'
'He used you like a pawn,'
'We made amends,'
Skirk laughed mockingly;
'He does not love you; you know it. All you have to do is look,' Skirk said before vanishing.
Childe woke up in cold sweat; he looked beside him and did not see Zhongli beside him. He again, buried his feelings. That night, Zhongli was telling him a Liyuen story about a couple. Childe blinked, unable to hear the words Zhongli was saying.
"Childe, are you all right?" Zhongli asked.
"Huh? Oh, I'm fine, just thinking," Childe said.
Zhongli did not pester him any longer; Zhongli then mentioned the adepti and that he will visit Cloud Retainer's abode.
"Why don't I come with you?" Childe asked.
"You wish to join me?" Zhongli asked.
"Yes! Why not? I get to meet your family; it's like meeting the in-laws," Childe said.
Zhongli tilted his head;
"I do not understand,"
Childe laughed; during these moments he can't help but think that Zhongli is just too cute.
"I'm just kidding; anyway, what do you say? Can I finally meet your family?" Childe asked.
Zhongli placed his hand on his chin;
"I do not see any reason to deny your request. I guess it is time you meet with them," Zhongli said.
"Yeah, I mean, we've been together for three years," Childe said.
"Three years' time is short for the adepti," Zhongli said, continuing to eat.
Childe nodded;
"Yes, of course," Childe said, picking at his food.
That night, Childe kissed Zhongli's cheek as he pretended to sleep with his back turned away from Zhongli; after a few minutes, he felt Zhongli moving. He evened his breathing and heard Zhongli leave the room silently. Childe opened his eyes and clenched his fists, feeling his nails dig into his skin. He will not cry; he will never cry about this.
The next day, Childe met Zhongli at the foot of Mt. Aozang. He looked disheveled and had blood on his clothes;
"What happened?" Zhongli asked.
"Oh you know, debt collecting is a dirty job; I hope your adepti won't mind a little blood," Childe said.
Zhongli looked at Childe disapprovingly before sighing. Zhongli tried to make Childe look neater by bringing out his handkerchief and wiping off dirt on Childe's face and fixing his hair which, Childe messed up too. He laughed teasingly as he leaned against Zhongli and inhaled his scent of silk flowers. They headed up Mt. Aozang where Childe saw a large bird, talking with a woman. When they saw Zhongli, the bird flapped its wings and welcomed him warmly as the woman also looked at Zhongli with warmth and joy.
"My lord, I am glad to see you," The woman who Childe already met and knew as Ganyu, said.
"Yes; I came here to visit." Zhongli said.
When the bird and Ganyu caught sight of him, the bird bristled as Ganyu looked appalled to even see him there.
"Why did you bring that...that interloper in one's home?" The bird who Childe now knew as one of the adepti, so, from Zhongli's stories, this would be Cloud Retainer, asked.
Zhongli sat on the chair and looked at Cloud Retainer.
"We have made amends," Zhongli said.
"One does not see the reason for this; he threatened the safety of Liyue and you forgave him?" Cloud Retainer asked.
Zhongli did not answer, pouring himself some tea.
"Now now, I did not come here to fight, although if you wish to, I can make that happen." Childe saw Zhongli look at him disapprovingly as Cloud Retainer bristled again and Ganyu looked ready to fight him.
"I only came here to meet Zhongli's family; since you know, we're dating," Childe was about to sit on one chair when Cloud Retainer spread her wings in anger as Ganyu raised her hands.
"Don't sit there!" They exclaimed.
Childe stood up and raised his hands.
"All right, all right, I won't; where do I sit then?" Childe asked.
"Anywhere but there," Ganyu said.
"Here then," Childe said, pointing the other available chair.
"One sits there," Cloud Retainer said, eyeing Childe with hatred.
Childe laughed and waved his hand; he knew when he had to give up.
"Fine fine, I'll just roam around then; Zhongli, I'll just walk around then," Childe said.
"Yes Childe, go on and wait for me," Zhongli said.
When Childe leaned down to kiss Zhongli, he heard a hissing sound and the area became cold all of a sudden. He looked at Ganyu and Cloud Retainer and they looked ready to push him to fall off the mountain. He moved away;
"Thank you for your warm welcome; it was nice meeting you, Cloud Retainer and Miss Ganyu, I will be taking my leave," Childe said.
When he stepped away, he heard Cloud Retainer huff and say, 'Good' underneath her breath.
"My lord..." Ganyu started but Cloud Retainer cut her off.
"One does not see why you are with that...juvenile delinquent. He even has the audacity to take a seat at Lady Guizhong's chair,"
There it was again, the name of the goddess who was said to be close to Morax. Now that Childe heard her name being mentioned by the adeptus and that he tried to sit on the chair of the goddess and he was pushed away, he can't help but think that he will never be accepted by Zhongli's family, that he would never be welcome beside Zhongli. He angrily walked until he realized that he was now down the mountain. He walked around, locating some hilichurl camps or treasure hoarders to let off some steam. As he walked around, he felt someone following him. He looked around but did not see anybody. He paused and tried to feel where he felt the presence; he seemed to have found it, approaching the area. He looked behind the bushes and saw a squirrel that ran away in fright.
"Tch!"
Suddenly, he felt a strong aura getting near him.
"Now, this is what I am talking about," Childe said, readying his bow.
He defended himself when a polearm-wielding boy appeared, ready to smite him where he stood. Childe laughed happily.
"Finally!"
"You reek of the Abyss," The polearm-wielding boy growled at him.
Childe avoided him and fought against him.
"Finally, a worthy opponent," Childe said, changing his bow to knives.
"Scum like you deserve to die,"
"I'd like to see you try!" Childe ran to attack him when a barrier appeared between them.
They stopped and looked to the side, seeing Zhongli looking at them disapprovingly. The boy kept his polearm and bowed respectfully at Zhongli.
"My lord,"
"Rise, Xiao. Please, call me Zhongli," Zhongli said.
The boy who was named Xiao, turned red.
"This is the Conqueror of Demons?! Nice! Let's continue; I enjoyed it," Childe said.
"Childe," Zhongli said exasperatedly.
"What? I can't help it," Childe siad.
"Zhongli-daren, you are with this s...mortal?" Xiao asked, looking at Zhongli then at Childe with barely-concealed disgust.
"Yes, he's with me! We're together," Childe said, placing his arm around Zhongli's shoulders.
Xiao brought out his polearm and pointed it at Childe's face, right between his eyes.
"Get your hands off him," Xiao threatened.
Childe pulled Zhongli closer to him, not breaking eye contact with Xiao. Childe heard Zhongli sigh then remove his arm off his shoulder;
"Do not mind him, Xiao, he is only teasing." Zhongli said.
"What? But I'm not lying," Childe said.
"Yes yes; Xiao, this is Childe, my...companion; Childe, will you allow us to speak privately?" Zhongli asked.
Childe schooled his features though he felt something crack within him when Zhongli called him his companion.
"Y-yeah, of course; have a family meeting." Childe said, walking away but was still close enough to hear Xiao tell Zhongli,
"He doesn't deserve you,"
Childe scoffed;
"Don't worry, I already know," Childe whispered.
Childe then felt the familiar presence following him earlier, follow him again.
"Whoever you are, show yourself!" Childe growled.
Nobody showed up; he looked around seriously, peeling his eyes and ears for any presence when a presence showed up behind him. Childe raised his bow and saw Zhongli who raised his hands.
"Childe, are you all right?" Zhongli asked.
"Fine, I just thought you were someone else; so, where are we headed?" Childe asked.
"I just have one more place to go," Zhongli said.
"Lead the way, my lord," Childe said, bowing and spreading his arm.
"Childe," Zhongli said exasperatedly.
'I told you, he only wants to be worshipped; he is a god after all,'
Childe buried Skirk's voice in his head; he followed Zhongli and they were in Qingce Village; they walked around the garden; Childe moved away from Zhongli, looking at him as he was surrounded by the light of the sun that was about to set. Childe hoped he had a Kamera with him to capture the beauty of Zhongli.
'I love him so much...he is so beautiful,' Childe thought. He smiled, thankful that someone like Zhongli loved him.
He saw Zhongli kneel down and caress the petals of a full-bloom glaze lily. He had a soft smile on his face and his eyes shined much brighter. Childe could hear his heart beating fast through his ears. Never...Zhongli never looked at him the way he looked at that glaze lily.
'Glaze lily is a symbol of the Goddess of Dust...'
Childe remembered the stories; he clenched his fists.
"Z-Zhongli, I remembered I have something to do at the bank. I should head back," Childe said.
The magic that surrounded Zhongli seemingly vanished as he looked up at Childe; Childe now knew that Zhongli doesn't love him the same way he loved the Goddess of Dust.
"Oh," Zhongli was ready to stand but Childe waved his hand.
"It's fine; you can head back later; are you all right on your own?" Childe asked.
"Childe," Zhongli said his name amusedly.
" Of course;" Childe approached Zhongli then held his cheek.
"Childe?" Zhongli asked.
"Take care; I love you," Childe closed his eyes and kissed Zhongli.
When they departed, Childe looked at the side;
"I'll leave you to it then, don't stay out late," Childe said in a teasing voice, or what he hoped to be a teasing voice.
He left Zhongli to his devices as he headed to their shared home. He placed his head in his hands and felt something wet.
"Don't cry...don't fucking cry," Childe said, stubbornly wiping his tears.
He seemed to gather his thoughts as he got a piece of paper and wrote to Zhongli. He placed the letter on the dining table; Childe placed a condition there; if Zhongli showed up any time between the night until the next day, Childe would stay with him, but if he did not, that means, it is over between them. Childe stayed in their shared home, not sleeping, waiting for Zhongli to arrive but throughout the night, Zhongli never came home.
Ekaterina saw Childe early in the bank for the first time. He looked serious, which was new to her. Childe never looked that serious before. He was speaking with Andrei and Felix; when he saw Ekaterina, he approached her.
"Katya, I am heading back to Snezhnaya effective immediately," Childe said.
"Sir, until when?" Ekaterina asked,
"...indefinitely;" Childe said, leaving.
"Sir, wait!" Ekaterina exclaimed.
Childe turned to her;
"The boat has been booked; I booked it this morning. I will leave tonight. I already delegated the necessary tasks to Andrei and Felix who will assign the agents. I trust that you will continue to work well for Her Majesty," Childe said.
"Sir, wait, what about Mr. Zhongli, does he know?" Ekaterina asked.
"He knows..." Childe said.
"Sir, what is going on?" Ekaterina asked, standing in Childe's way. If it were any other Harbinger, Ekaterina would never do such a thing; but, this is Childe, the Harbinger who treated his employees like friends. Ekaterina also cared about him and seeing him now, she wished to help.
Childe looked furious then he looked tired;
"We're not together anymore, Katya," Childe said in a soft voice.
"Sir..." Ekaterina started;
"I do not want to talk about it. I sent a request letter for an immediate transfer. Thank you for your continued friendship, Katya," Childe gathered Ekaterina in an embrace.
"Sir, it can't be..." Ekaterina started.
"It is," Childe said, leaving the Bank.
At the docks that night, employees of the Northland Bank saw Childe off; Ekaterina saw Childe looking up, as if waiting for something but none came. He headed down with his head bowed. When he saw the employees of the Northland Bank at the docks, he smiled softly then laughed;
"Thank you everyone," Childe said.
"We'll hope you'll come back soon, sir," Nadia said, tears in her eyes.
"Me too...thank you everyone," Childe said, embracing his employees, who also became his friends.
He sighed as he climbed up the ramp; he took one look back and saw the Northland Bank employees look at him sadly, some, waving goodbye. He looked up as the boat he was on, still wasn't leaving.
'Please, please...' Childe pleaded but when he saw the anchor brought up and the boat moving and no one wearing that familiar brown coat and no one with cor lapis eyes standing at the docks, Childe knew that it was over.
"Goodbye, Zhongli," Childe smiled sadly.
Suddenly, he felt something hold his shirt. He looked down and saw a boy, a bit younger than Teucer, looking at him with sparkling blue eyes and a stock of red hair. He looked exactly like him when he was younger.
"Papa, take me with you,"
"HUH?!!!"
For the first time in Childe's life, someone made him faint without making him bleed.