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jungkook is tired. non-stop schedules and comebacks will do that to a person, especially when that person is also getting little to no sleep between all the travelling they’re doing.
and it’s not just him, of course. all of them are feeling it. he sees it in the slight hunch of his hyungs’ shoulders, the way their makeup artists have to apply a little extra concealer to them every day to hide the growing dark shadows beneath their eyes.
he sees it in the way hoseok is a little less his usual self and more reserved, and how seokjin spends more nights in his hotel rooms alone rather than choosing to hang out with the group during their painfully scarce free time.
he sees it in the way yoongi’s cheeks aren’t as full as they were during their last break at the beginning of the year, and how jimin and taehyung seem to have more silent conversations with their eyes rather than with spoken words.
they have a small reprieve now, back in the comfort of their own shared dorm before they have to head back to who knows where early tomorrow morning for their next round of promotions.
most of yesterday was spent in bed. for yoongi, that meant in seokjin’s bed, wrapped around his hyung as they both slept. for jimin and taehyung, it meant curled up to hoseok’s sides as the sun slowly set and the day faded to night.
and don’t get him wrong, it’s a good kind of tired. it’s the kind of tired that reminds them that this is all for something, that all of their hard work and long hours and no sleep means something. it tells them that this isn’t all for nothing, and that it’s paying off in ways that none of them ever could’ve expected but silently wished for.
but he’s still tired. he’s worn out and weary and drained of almost everything he has left to give but he won’t complain. he won’t complain about any of it because he knows wholeheartedly that it’s nothing compared to the bone deep and soul aching exhaustion that namjoon is feeling right now.
they’ve been in america for the last two weeks and american interviewers mean being questioned in english. and although they’ve all gotten better at it over the years to the point where they can get through an interview with little to no help, namjoon is still the one who steps up and leads them. not just because he’s the only one who is fluent but because it’s so deeply ingrained in him after so many years to always provide and make them feel as comfortable as possible.
and it takes a toll on him. every time they get back from being overseas it takes namjoon a little longer to bounce back than it does for the rest of them. not only because of the physical strain of travelling long hours but also all of the mental energy it takes out of him to always be their strong leader.
he doesn’t like to show it, doesn’t like giving the members anything less than his best self. but jungkook has spent so much time watching him over the years that he sees it anyway. he knows all of namjoon’s tells, knows when he’s feeling a little too much and when he needs a little extra help.
so he’s not surprised when he peeks his head into his hyung’s room and sees him sitting cross legged on the floor, his ryan blanket draped around his shoulders and all of the plushies from his bed now spread over the floor around him.
jungkook smiles and softly knocks on the door, loud enough to be heard but still quiet to not startle him with the sudden noise. namjoon glances up, not quite meeting his eyes, before quickly looking away again, running his fingers over the koya plushie in his lap in a soothing manner.
jungkook’s smile falls into a slight frown that namjoon can’t see, and he steps into the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
“hey, joonie,” he says, slowly shuffling over to him. namjoon’s hands still but he doesn’t look up from where he’s staring off at nothing. jungkook sits down on the floor beside him. “whatcha doing?”
namjoon make a small gesture to his plushies.
“playing with all your toys?” jungkook asks, looking at the array of plushies leaning up against namjoon’s bed, ordered from smallest to biggest. jungkook looks back at him with a smile. “can i play with you for a bit? i don’t have any of my own.”
he says the last part with an exaggerated pout and namjoon finally looks up at him. he reaches out and takes one of the plushies from the floor, then gently sets in it jungkook’s lap. with a small satisfied smile, he turns his attention back to his koya.
jungkook holds up the dog plushie namjoon gave him, one jungkook hasn’t seen before, and straightens out its collar. “does this little guy have a name?”
namjoon only shrugs in response and it makes jungkook frown again. little joonie likes plushies even more than big namjoon does, and jungkook knows that he has a name for every single one he has. his favourite part about getting new friends is choosing a name for them and then sheepishly introducing them to jungkook and the others.
but he’s not doing that this morning. he isn’t crawling over to jungkook and timidly whispering its name to him like he normally would, and jungkook knows something is off.
“you feeling okay, joonie?” jungkook asks, slowly raising his hand to check namjoon’s temperature. his forehead feels normal but namjoon has always ran a little warm so it’s hard to tell.
namjoon shrugs again and stares intently down at the floor, and something in jungkook clicks, finally understanding what’s going on. “don’t feel like talking today, huh?”
it’s happened a few times in the past when things have gotten to be a little too much. namjoon will be so overwhelmed and sick of constantly answering questions that he’ll stop talking altogether. it usually only lasts a day or so, but it makes it a bit harder to figure out what he needs in his smaller headspace.
it is a little worrisome that it’s happening today though. they have the morning and most of the day off but they do have to head to the company building later on to record a couple more online interviews. thankfully, these ones are in korean and the rest of them can take on more responsibility of answering questions, but they still need namjoon to participate and do his usual greeting.
namjoon can only shrug again and it’s all jungkook needs to know that it’s gonna be one of the harder days for his hyung.
but it’s happened before and it’ll no doubt happen again, and jungkook isn’t worried. it just means extra cuddles and more quiet time for the both of them, and he’s definitely not going to say no to that.
“that’s okay, joonie bear,” he says, giving namjoon a smile and gently rubbing his back. “do you wanna keep playing in here or did you maybe wanna come out and cuddle on the couch for a bit while we wait for the others to wake up?”
namjoon blinks, thinking over the two options in his head. after a moment, he gives a small nod towards the door.
“cuddle on the couch?”
namjoon nods and jungkook leans forward to kiss his cheek, making a faint dusting of pink appear on namjoon’s cheeks and his lips to pull into a shy smile.
“good boy,” jungkook says, shifting to sit up on his knees. “why don’t you choose one of your plushies to come with us?”
looking down at his array of toys, namjoon eventually reaches for one of his ryan plushies, holding it snug to his chest. jungkook smiles fondly down at him and stands, helping namjoon to his feet.
“come on,” he says, turning towards the door. “bring your blanket and we’ll set the pillows up nice and comfy, okay?”
there’s a small tug on his sleeve and jungkook turns back to see namjoon pouting at him.
“what’s wrong, baby?” he asks, and namjoon points to the dog plushie he left on the floor. jungkook picks it up. “you want him to come with us too?”
namjoon nods, pointing a finger at jungkook’s chest.
“well, we wouldn’t want him to be lonely, would we?”
namjoon gives him a smile and jungkook ruffles his hair before heading for the door. as they walk down the hall towards the living room, namjoon’s hand hesitantly slips into his own, needing the physical contact.
jungkook gives him a reassuring smile and squeezes his hand. “it’s okay, joonie bear. let’s go cuddle.”
♡
it’s almost an hour later when a bleary-eyed hoseok shuffles into the kitchen, a sleepy jimin clinging to his back.
jungkook is laying on his side on the couch with a now asleep namjoon cuddled up to his chest, two blankets draped over them and their plushies now on the floor. every now and then, namjoon lets out a soft snore and jungkook feels his heart burst with fondness for his hyung—strong in so many ways but equally as soft and precious in others.
hoseok notices them in the living room and a little of his sleepiness is replaced with careful concern. he takes jimin’s hand and the two of them make their way over to the couch, kneeling on the floor in front of them.
“is he okay?” hoseok whispers, careful not to wake namjoon. with the hand not holding onto jimin’s, he gently brushes the hair away from namjoon’s face, frowning slightly at the way he subconsciously leans into the touch even in his sleep.
“it’s a no talking day,” jungkook says just as quietly, and hoseok sighs.
he turns to jimin, who’s crouched beside him, looking at namjoon with wide eyes, and cups his cheek. “jiminie baby, do you think you could go into seokjinnie-hyung’s room and tell him seokie needs to talk to him?”
jimin nods and stands, pouting down at namjoon.
hoseok rubs his side. “thank you, sweetie. be careful not to wake yoon up though, okay? he needs to sleep some more.”
with another nod and a final look to namjoon, jimin shuffles quietly to the hallway.
“we don’t need to wake hyung just yet,” jungkook says as jimin disappears around the corner. he nods down to namjoon snoring quietly against his chest, fingers loosely gripping his t-shirt. “i’m okay with him.”
“i know you are, jungkook-ah,” hoseok says with a sad smile, his voice firm but not without sympathy. “jin-hyung will still want to know though. i’m gonna get started on breakfast. you stay here and let him sleep some more.”
jungkook is still a little unsure about waking his hyung but he does as he’s told, settling back down against the cushions and hugging his baby a little closer.
a moment later, seokjin comes out of his room, still in his pyjamas and rubbing sleep from his eyes. he finds hoseok in the kitchen at the stove and the two of them have a hushed conversation, seokjin looking over at namjoon with furrowed brows.
he gives hoseok a small nod and makes his way over to jungkook, kneeling where hoseok had been just minutes ago. “how is he?” he asks, a hand on namjoon’s back.
“he’s okay,” jungkook whispers. “he didn’t seem upset about anything. just tired and a bit overwhelmed with everything, i think.”
seokjin hums thoughtfully. he hesitates but eventually nods. “okay. i’m gonna help hoseok-ah with breakfast and then we’ll wake the others up and have a quiet day here.”
jungkook slowly nods at the words, his doubts from this morning resurfacing. “we have a couple of interviews later, hyung. i don’t know if he’ll—“
he pauses when namjoon stirs in his arms, whining softly before getting comfortable again and going quiet.
when it’s clear that he’s not going to wake, seokjin shakes his head. “we can reschedule if we have to. we’ll wait and see how he is and decide later but i won’t make him do them if he’s not feeling up to it.”
jungkook hums. they don’t often cancel or reschedule things unless appearances clash or something else work related pops up, so he knows that they can afford to do so today if need be.
and he agrees with seokjin; he doesn’t want to force namjoon into anything if he’s not feeling good enough for it. everyone deserves a break sometimes and if there’s anyone who undeniably needs one, it’s namjoon.
after one last fond look down at the sleeping boy in jungkook’s arms, seokjin leaves them to help hoseok in the kitchen. alone again, jungkook rubs his hand up and down namjoon’s back, smoothing out any wrinkles in the blankets.
namjoon breathes quietly and cuddles impossibly closer to him, and jungkook closes his eyes, comfortable and content.
♡
with the smell of breakfast filling the air, the others slowly make their way into the living room one by one. jimin and taehyung curl up on the other couch with a movie playing on jimin’s ipad, and yoongi takes his spot at the dining table so he can be closer to seokjin and hoseok and watch them cook.
the quiet sounds of the others make namjoon scrunch his nose up, and soon he’s blinking his eyes open, blearily looking up at jungkook with a pout.
“hi, joonie bear,” jungkook says, leaning back just a little to see his puffy cheeks and sleepy eyes. “you hungry, baby? i think the hyungs are nearly finished with breakfast.”
namjoon huffs and buries his face against jungkook’s chest.
jungkook chuckles softly. “still tired, huh?” he kisses namjoon’s forehead and pats his back. “that’s alright, joonie. we can just lay here for a bit.”
“jiminie, taehyungie, come get the table ready please,” hoseok quietly calls from the kitchen, making the other boys jump up from the couch and run over to him.
namjoon whines at the noise but settles again when jungkook starts running his fingers through his hair, brushing it up and away from his face.
“it’s okay,” he murmurs, and namjoon takes jungkook’s shirt into his hand again.
“jungkook-ah.”
he looks up to see seokjin at the kitchen counter, tilting his head towards the table where the others are already seated and starting to eat. jungkook gives him a small nod.
“okay, joonie,” he says, shifting slightly to sit up. “come eat some breakfast?”
namjoon pouts at the idea of moving from their comfortable spot on the couch but lets jungkook help him into a sitting position then to his feet. taking him by the hand, jungkook leads him over to the table, namjoon walking slightly behind him to hide from the others.
jungkook takes his usual seat at the end of the table but before namjoon can take his spot beside him, jungkook is pulling him down to sit on his lap instead. namjoon makes a squeak of surprise at the sudden movement but goes easily, letting jungkook move him until they’re both comfortable.
across from them, hoseok pushes a few of the bowls of food closer to them along with some chopsticks. jungkook thanks him with a nod.
“open up, joonie bear,” he says, holding a piece of chicken to namjoon’s mouth. but namjoon only turns his head away, hiding his face in the crook of jungkook’s neck.
jungkook lowers the chopsticks, not paying any mind to the concerned glances they’re getting from the other members, although they try not to make it obvious. they don’t interrupt him though or try to step in. they know he can handle this.
“you wanna feed yourself this morning, joonie?” he asks, rubbing namjoon’s arm.
sometimes namjoon likes to be fed and other times he wants to do it himself. normally it depends on his headspace and how little he’s feeling on the day. today he seems a bit smaller than usual and jungkook assumed he’d want to be fed, but it doesn’t seem to be the case.
but namjoon shakes his head, making jungkook frown.
“no?” he asks, earning another head shake. he thinks for a moment, then, “you want someone else to feed you today, baby?”
a small shrug.
“who do you want to feed you this morning, joonie? anyone you want, it’s up to you.”
namjoon lifts his head enough to glance over at seokjin for a moment before hiding his face again.
“you want seokjinnie-hyung to feed you?”
there’s a small nod against his shoulder and jungkook smiles.
“that’s okay, baby. you wanna go sit on hyung’s lap?”
jungkook is already moving when namjoon shakes his head.
he pauses, feeling a little confused. it can be hard to know what namjoon wants when he’s like this but jungkook is grateful that he’s trying to answer his questions in whatever way he can. it’s harder still when answering questions is the reason he’s feeling like this in the first place, but they all know to keep them simple.
he’s quiet for a moment, thinking. “okay, joonie,” he says. “you wanna stay sitting with me but you want jin-hyung to feed you?”
it’s a quick nod this time, and jungkook looks up at seokjin who’s already standing and making his way around the table. he takes the seat beside jungkook, the one that namjoon usually occupies, and reaches for another pair of chopsticks.
“alright, baby,” seokjin says, giving namjoon a warm smile. “open up for jinnie-hyung.”
namjoon does as he’s told and happily lets seokjin feed him his breakfast.
♡
the morning slowly fades into the afternoon, the sun peeking out behind grey clouds to brighten the room. jungkook is back on the couch with namjoon curled up to his side, hugging both jungkook’s arm and his ryan blanket as he stares at the tv.
taehyung had put a movie on after breakfast and they all settled on the couches in the living room to watch it. jimin had gotten restless during the first half of the movie and hoseok had set him up on the floor with his colouring book and crayons, and he’d been happily drawing ever since.
it’s nice being together like this, even if it is only for a short amount of time. with how busy their schedules are, especially with their comeback, they really don’t get much free time during the day to spend as a family. it’s a welcome change for all of them.
the credits begin to roll and namjoon starts moving restlessly beside him, fidgeting with the corner of his blanket.
“you wanna colour too, joonie?” jungkook asks him. he had caught namjoon watching jimin a few times during the movie didn’t seem like he wanted to move from the comfy and warm spot beside him on the couch.
namjoon shakes his head and turns to face the window, looking out at the pale blue sky poking out between patches of grey. jungkook follows his eyes and smiles.
“you wanna go outside, joonie bear?” he asks, and namjoon looks up at him. he doesn’t nod but his eyes are wide and eager and jungkook knows it’s a strong yes.
he chuckles fondly down at him. “okay, let’s go get ready and then we can go to the park. how does that sound?”
namjoon nods, breaking out into a smile for the first time today.
“you go get ready,” seokjin says to jungkook as he stands up from the couch, much to yoongi’s dismay. he takes namjoon’s hands and pulls him to his feet. “i’ll get this cutie dressed.”
namjoon giggles at that and jungkook feels the last of the tension he’s been carrying around since this morning when he found namjoon playing alone in his room finally melt away. seokjin catches his eyes and smiles, and jungkook knows he’s feeling the same way.
“alright,” jungkook says, kissing namjoon’s cheek, “you go with jinnie-hyung and we’ll leave as soon as we’re ready.”
namjoon nods with a lazy grin and lets seokjin lead him out of the living room towards his bedroom, jungkook watching them go with a fond smile.
“he’s looking a bit better,” hoseok says, moving from his spot wedged between taehyung and the side of the couch to take seokjin’s place, soothing an unhappy looking yoongi. “i’m sure he’ll feel heaps better after going to the park.”
jungkook hums. “i wish we had a little longer before he have to leave again.”
“can’t help that,” hoseok says, yoongi crawling onto his lap. “now go get dressed and don’t leave him waiting.”
♡
they’re in the car not long later, namjoon sitting happily in the passenger seat, looking out the window as jungkook drives. the others had wanted to stay around the dorm to catch up on some more rest while they still can, so it’s just the two of them for the afternoon.
the park they’re going to is about thirty minutes away without traffic, much further than a lot of the other ones within walking distance from their dorm. there’s no playground at this one so it’s mostly used by people who bring their dogs to run around without a leash, making the longer drive worth it.
when they pull up, only a few other cars are parked near them. jungkook smiles to himself, relieved that the sun hasn’t brought too many people out and it’ll be quiet for them. he turns to see namjoon leaning forward in his seat, a smile on his face as he spots a springer spaniel chasing a ball nearby.
“ready?” jungkook says, undoing his seatbelt and leaning over to do the same to namjoon’s. namjoon nods excitedly and jungkook can’t help but ruffle his hair. “okay, baby. hand me your mask.”
he does and jungkook secures it behind his ears for him, making sure it covers his face properly, then puts on his own. once they’re out of the car, jungkook helps namjoon to put his coat on and takes his hand.
“alright, joonie bear.” he smiles, locking the car behind them. “lead the way.”
♡
they spend much longer at the park than jungkook intended, but namjoon is so relaxed and happy that he can’t bring himself to tell him that it’s time to go. they wander around on the footpaths, hand in hand, and only stop when jungkook’s stomach rumbles, already hungry from all of the walking they’ve done.
they get lunch from a food truck across the street then find a table on the far side of the park to sit down. they eat in silence, the only sounds coming from the rustling of trees in the wind and the occasional dog barking.
when all of the food is gone and their rubbish is in the bin, jungkook decides that it’s probably time to think about heading home. when he turns around though, he finds namjoon crouched down, petting the springer spaniel they had seen earlier, its owner and ball abandoned and now happily getting belly rubs from namjoon.
jungkook spots a woman on the other side of the park looking around, and jungkook assumes she’s its owner.
“hi there,” he says, putting his hand out and letting the dog nuzzle into his palm. namjoon giggles and continues happily playing with it. “i think your human’s looking for you, buddy.”
the dog ignores him and rolls back over so that namjoon can get to its belly again.
jungkook smiles down at them both. “come on,” he says, feeling guilty as soon as namjoon looks up at him with sad eyes. “we should head back now, joonie. i think your little friend needs to go home as well.”
namjoon huffs but nods slowly. he gives the dog one last tummy rub then gently pats its head when it sits up. “bye bye, puppy,” he whispers, almost too quiet for jungkook to hear, then stands and takes jungkook’s hand.
the dog wags its tail then runs off back to its owner, and jungkook turns to namjoon. “good job, baby,” he says, squeezing namjoon’s hand. “ready to go home?”
namjoon nods and shuffles closer to him. “okay, kookie,” he says, the words just as quiet as the first ones.
they walk back to the car together, namjoon swinging their hands back and forth in the small space between them, then he gets in the car without a fuss. once jungkook is seated and has secured both of their seatbelts, he smiles over at namjoon.
“how are you feeling, joonie bear?”
namjoon leans his head back against the seat and hums. “sleepy,” he mumbles, yawning a moment later.
jungkook laughs and combs his hair back with his fingers. “you can have a nap if you want, baby,” he says, turning the volume all the way down. “it’ll be a while before we’re home.”
“nap,” namjoon repeats softly, closing his eyes and getting comfortable. he’s asleep within seconds.
♡
“there’s my baby,” hoseok calls from the couch as soon as they step inside the door. “i was starting to think you’d forgotten about us.”
namjoon kicks his shoes off and wanders over to them, sitting between hoseok and seokjin on the couch with a tired smile on his face. “met a puppy,” he says, tucking his feet beneath him and cuddling up to hoseok’s side.
the others all look up from what they’re doing at the sound of namjoon’s voice, and seokjin sends jungkook a grateful look. “really?” he says, ruffling namjoon’s hair. “did you have fun with kookie?”
namjoon nods, his eyes falling shut as he rests his head down on hoseok’s shoulder. “mhmm, fun.”
“i’m glad, sweetheart,” seokjin says. he stands and makes his way over to jungkook, who’s hanging their jackets up by the door. quietly, he says, “he’s talking again.”
“a little bit,” jungkook says, going into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. “i think he’s feeling a lot better.”
seokjin hums, looking over to where yoongi has now stuck himself to namjoon’s side. “do you think he’ll be okay for the interviews? we’re supposed to be at work in an hour.”
jungkook frowns and checks the time on his phone. he had been so focused on making sure namjoon was okay that he hadn’t even noticed how late it had gotten. “i’ll ask him how he feels about it.”
he heads into the living room and holds his hands out for namjoon to take. “sorry, yoon, but i need to steal joonie for a bit.”
yoongi scowls at him. “kookie had joonie all day.”
jungkook bites back a laugh. “i know. it’s not fair, is it? just a little bit longer though, i promise. then you can cuddle with joonie again.”
yoongi huffs but slowly sits up, letting jungkook pull namjoon off the couch and to his feet. “come on. let’s go get you changed, okay?”
he takes namjoon into his room and pulls out a change of clothes. he chooses something comfortable for now, knowing that they’re just going to have to change again for the interviews.
when he’s helped namjoon get dressed, he sits down on the edge of the bed and pats the spot beside him for namjoon to do the same. when he does, jungkook turns to face him fully.
“joonie baby, do you know what we’re doing later?” he asks, trying to breach the subject slowly without stressing namjoon out again.
namjoon looks down at the floor and deflates a little, giving jungkook a small nod.
jungkook rubs his back. “we have a couple of interviews later, baby. do you think you’re feeling good enough to do them?”
namjoon continues to stare down at the floor.
“we can cancel them if we need to, joonie bear. it’s okay if you’re not feeling up to it today.”
slowly, namjoon shakes his head.
“no?” he asks, a little confused. “what are you saying no to, baby?”
namjoon huffs and leans back, bringing his knees to his chest. “not cancel.”
“are you sure?” jungkook asks, rubbing his arm. “no one will be upset with you if you don’t wanna do them.”
there’s another shake of his head before namjoon points to his own chest. “okay.”
jungkook watches him for a moment, looking for any signs that maybe he should step in on this one, but namjoon looks sure of himself. eventually, jungkook gives in. “okay, baby. i want you to tell one of us if you change your mind though, okay?”
namjoon hums, his head tilted to the side. “m’kay, kookie.”
“promise?” jungkook smiles, holding his pinky out.
namjoon giggles and links it with his own. “promise, kookie.”
♡
it’s a little over an hour later and they’re sitting in one of the bigger dressing rooms, waiting for the staff to finish setting everything up for their interviews. jungkook is on one couch between taehyung and jimin while hoseok and seokjin finish getting their hair styled.
namjoon is sat on the couch on the opposite wall, his head resting on yoongi’s shoulder, who still refuses to leave namjoon’s side despite being big right now.
there’s a soft knock as their manager pops his head into the room. “five minutes, guys,” he says, his gaze settling on jungkook before flicking to namjoon and back. jungkook gives him a small nod.
once he’s gone, jungkook stands and moves to sit on namjoon’s other side, resting a hand on his leg. “hyung,” he says carefully, hating that he has to do this.
namjoon opens his eyes and lets out a long sigh. eventually, he lifts his head from yoongi’s shoulder, who looks just as sorry as jungkook feels.
jungkook softly rubs his leg, waiting for namjoon to focus on him. “hyung?”
namjoon stares intently down at the floor. “mm.”
“we have five minutes,” jungkook tells him, settling against the back of the couch. “how are you feeling?”
namjoon sighs again and leans up against him. “fine,” he mumbles. then, even softer, “i’m sorry.”
“don’t be,” jungkook whispers, gently patting his leg. “nothing to be sorry for, hyung.”
namjoon just hums and rests his head on jungkook’s shoulder.
“i mean it, hyung,” jungkook says.
he knows how hard it can be for namjoon to ask for help, especially from jungkook, but jungkook is so proud of him for letting his guard down and allowing himself to be cared for in all the ways he needs.
“i know,” namjoon says, putting his hand on top of jungkook’s and threading their fingers together. “thank you.”
jungkook smiles to himself, feeling so much love in his heart. he lightly nudges namjoon’s head with his own, whispering a quiet, “it’s okay, hyung.”