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Kate’s not entirely awake yet, but she’s awake enough to remember that most of the team is in her apartment after a long night of team bonding and more-than-slightly childish sleepovers. She can hear bacon sizzling in the next room, and low voices conversing. One of them is too indistinct for her to tell who it is, covered up by the sound of the hot oil, but the other is pretty clearly Teddy.
He’s always been something of a morning person.
“—just don’t really see why you aren’t dating again yet. Wouldn’t finding someone new help?” Teddy’s voice is halfway between inquisitive and cajoling, and Kate’s slowly getting more and more awake as the smell of bacon filters through the air. She opens her eyes, and sees America lying a few feet away. The other girl is also awake, but the hand before her face uncurls slightly so that a finger is to her lips, a silent indication to keep quiet.
Kate considers it for a moment, considers getting up and going to join the others in her tiny kitchen, but she trusts America, and so does as suggested, and stays quiet.
The conversation grows clearer as the sizzling dies down, food clearly finished, and Kate realizes that the other speaker is Noh-Varr. The earlier comment now makes much more sense.
She glares at America anyway, and only gets an eye-roll in response.
“—and I couldn’t do that to someone else.” Noh’s voice, quieter than usual, cuts through the air and all the way to the sleepers in this room. “I’m not ready.”
“You think it would be cruel to try falling for someone new when you still aren’t over Kate.” Teddy says, with the air of someone summarizing what they’ve only just heard, more for the other party’s sake than their own. “Because of what happened with Oubliette.”
There’s a short pause, interrupted only by the clinking of silverware and the muffled sounds of chewing. “I am… it’s different. It wasn’t Oubliette that I wanted so much as what she represented. I only knew her for a few days, really, even if we did get along well enough.”
“But?” Teddy prompts, his voice quietly encouraging.
“She was the last person I knew before I was sent to the Cube. Or at least the last one I knew on positive terms. And that was enough to make me consider, and actually go through with, leaving Kate.” There’s a small, rough noise, as though someone has just stabbed their plate in a rather violent manner. Kate winces, because she doesn’t really have the funds to buy new ones anymore.
“Kate wouldn’t try to make you leave any new girlfriend you got. Or boyfriend.” Teddy tacks on the last bit as an afterthought; Kate guesses it’s because, while everyone knows Noh isn’t straight, it’s hard to imagine him dating a man after the long string of women he’s seemingly left behind him. “You wouldn’t have to worry about that.”
“I know.”
There is silence for several moments, and Kate squeezes her eyes shut, hard. Her hands dig into the pillow, and she can feel America’s gaze on her.
Teddy’s voice breaks the silence. “You still love her.”
“More than I should, after this long, yes.” Noh’s voice is quiet, and Kate has to strain her ears to catch it. “It wouldn’t be fair to anyone new if I were to try to enter a new relationship while still holding so many feelings for an old one. I’ve learned that much from my mistakes.”
“At least you learned something.” Teddy tries to make anything sound good. Too bad it doesn’t always work.
Noh snorts. “Given the price, I’d have preferred to remain ignorant.”
“Would you do anything to have her back?” Teddy asks, sounding too innocently curious for it to be anything but a test.
“She would never take me, and that’s all that matters in that situation.” Noh-Varr says, his voice as cold and hard as granite. “I would, yes, but it would mean nothing. I made my mistakes, and now I’m paying the price. She doesn’t want me anymore, and that’s that.”
Kate’s jaws clenches, and she ignores the fact that America’s still watching her.
Damn it, Noh-Varr. She thinks. Damn it all.