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The door shuts softly behind him, the lock clicking into place. Save for the sliver of light coming from under the bathroom door, the apartment is dark, the curtains already drawn. Yoo Joonghyuk must be getting ready for bed.
Sighing quietly, Kim Dokja steps out of his shoes and shrugs off his coat, draping it over his arm. The weather has gotten colder recently and despite the heater being on, Kim Dokja shivers without the warmth of his coat. Even as a child, he had always been more sensitive than other kids to cold weather, and that part of him is still the same, even after all these years. Some things just never change, it seems.
“Dokja?” a voice calls out and Kim Dokja startles a bit, shaking the thoughts lingering in his mind away.
There’s the sound of shuffling and objects moving around before Yoo Joonghyuk comes out of the bathroom, the sparse light casting shadows over his handsome features. Kim Dokja smiles helplessly as Yoo Joonghyuk shuffles over, his slippers practically sliding along the floor in a childish manner.
Warm arms wrap around Kim Dokja and he breathes in deeply, inhaling the clean smell of Yoo Joonghyuk; the scent of shampoo lingering in his hair, the way his clothes and skin smell like their home, the air around them. He smells so familiar, so comforting, and Kim Dokja can’t help it when he snuggles closer to fully envelop himself in the warmth, sighing contentedly.
Yoo Joonghyuk chuckles softly, the vibrations shaking through his chest. “You’re clingy,” he says and Kim Dokja pulls away slightly to look up and glare. Yoo Joonghyuk is unaffected and pokes Kim Dokja’s cheek, smiling in that stupidly handsome way of his that makes Kim Dokja want to both punch his face and kiss him stupid.
Shivering again, Kim Dokja decides that he’ll further reinforce his self-restraint today by doing neither, and instead burrows his face back into the soft cashmere of Yoo Joonghyuk’s sweater. There’s a soft laugh above him before a kiss is placed on the crown of his head and Kim Dokja feels his heart swell, relieved that his flushed face is hidden from sight.
“Let’s go inside, I’m cold,” Yoo Joonghyuk says, steering the two of them away from the doorway and towards their room. He grabs Kim Dokja’s coat along the way and hangs it up for him, as he shows no sign of releasing the grip he has on Yoo Joonghyuk. Even a simple action such as that has Kim Dokja smiling against his lover, heart warm and full.
Over the years, Kim Dokja has found that for everybody, love is different.
For some, it comes in the form of gifts, little things that the other likes. For others, it comes in words of affection and reassurance.
But for Yoo Joonghyuk, love has always been hidden from sight, small actions that carry the weight of his feelings.
For Yoo Joonghyuk, love means always reminding Kim Dokja to drink water in the mornings, even if he’s late for work and in a rush because ‘hydrating yourself is important, Dokja, I don’t want you fainting from dehydration’. For Yoo Joonghyuk, love is when he learns to communicate his feelings, despite having grown up with the habit of not doing so, because misunderstandings hurt and he’s willing to do anything to make sure Kim Dokja is smiling. For Yoo Joonghyuk, love means saying that he’s cold when his body is practically a furnace and it’s impossible for him to be cold in their well-insulated apartment, so he can have an excuse to move Kim Dokja to their bed and tuck him under the covers. But not before he helps him wash his face, brush his teeth, and get into his sleepwear, because he knows that Kim Dokja is tired from working overtime and would fall asleep without cleaning up if he could.
Over the years, Kim Dokja has come to understand Yoo Joonghyuk better than anyone else, and vice versa.
If asked, Kim Dokja would say that Yoo Joonghyuk seems closed off at first, but he soon becomes as easy to read as a book—if only the person is willing. And for Yoo Joonghyuk, Kim Dokja is like an unexpected quest; an annoyance to figure out, but the rewards are always better when the boss is harder to beat.
“Joonghyuk-ah,” Kim Dokja calls out, his voice somewhat muffled by the thick blankets covering his body. Yoo Joonghyuk had insisted on stacking another large, fluffy blanket onto the bed and now Kim Dokja is nearly suffocating underneath.
When Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t answer, focused on smoothing out the wrinkles on the bed, Kim Dokja whines louder, “Joonghyuk-ah, stop ignoring me.”
Yoo Joonghyuk sighs, but Kim Dokja can tell that he’s secretly smitten. What a dishonest bastard. “What is it?”
“Come under the covers, I’m cold,” Kim Dokja says, patting the spot beside him. Yoo Joonghyuk gives a long look and Kim Dokja grins in response.
Eventually, he relents and pulls the covers up, sliding in and grumbling under his breath about how high maintenance Kim Dokja is. Kim Dokja simply laughs and reaches for Yoo Joonghyuk, tangling their limbs together because Yoo Joonghyuk can never deny his lover what he wishes and Kim Dokja knows this with his whole being.
“Your feet are cold,” Yoo Joonghyuk mutters, and Kim Dokja deliberately slides his foot under the other's loose pants, rubbing all over his leg. Each time Yoo Joonghyuk flinches, Kim Dokja presses harder, until they’re both laughing and fumbling around, the blankets once again wrinkled.
“You’re such a hassle, Kim Dokja,” Yoo Joonghyuk says fondly, and Kim Dokja can’t help the quirk of his lips as he once again snuggles into the other’s chest. Like this, under the covers, he feels safe and secure, hidden away from the harsh reality of the world.
When Yoo Joonghyuk’s hand pushes him closer, his head coming to rest on top of Kim Dokja’s, he can’t help but feel loved as well; something he never would have thought he’d be able to feel since he was a small boy, wrapped in his mother’s embrace.
When he’s with Yoo Joonghyuk, he’s happy and relaxed. It’s never a chore to talk to him and he never feels judged or insecure. Although this wasn’t the case in the past, having spent multiple years by Yoo Joonghyuk’s side has caused a sense of familiarity to form between the both of them; they rely on each other without feeling like it’s a burden, they know which boundaries to not cross, when to simply sit in silence with the other as company or when either of them needs a few words of reassurance.
Of course, starting off wasn't easy; having to open yourself up like a box, exposing your secrets and thoughts to the other. For Kim Dokja and Yoo Joonghyuk, starting off meant misunderstandings and long talks afterwards. It meant making mistakes, but learning from them together.
“What are you thinking about?” Yoo Joonghyuk asks quietly, softly playing with Kim Dokja’s hair. It feels nice, really nice, and he leans in closer, to which Yoo Joonghyuk huffs endearingly and begins to lightly scratch along his scalp with his nails.
Kim Dokja hums happily, feeling like a spoiled pet. “You.”
Yoo Joonghyuk lets out a small, choked laugh and Kim Dokja tilts his head up to look him in the eye, squinting so his eyes focus. “What? You don’t believe me?”
“No, I do,” Yoo Joonghyuk says without hesitation, a teasing lilt to his voice. He’s so loveable this way, Kim Dokja thinks; eyes softened around the edges, lips smooth and upturned at the corners, locks of hair cascading over his thick brows. He’s too handsome, really, and Kim Dokja frowns the more he stares at his lover’s perfect face.
It makes him feel things, damnit.
Noticing Kim Dokja’s nose scrunch up, the way it does whenever he’s thinking about something complicated, Yoo Joonghyuk leans down and presses a kiss to each corner of his mouth, before peppering his forehead, nose, and cheeks with kisses as well. Soon enough, Kim Dokja starts letting out little laughs, his eyes crinkling when he smiles, and god, Yoo Joonghyuk really can’t help the way his chest fills up with warmth and bubbles, swirling inside of him.
“It’s late, we should sleep,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to Kim Dokja’s lips, feeling the way his lover smiles against him.
"Okay,” Kim Dokja whispers back and closes his eyes, moving closer to Yoo Joonghyuk, but not too close, so they can remain face to face. He feels Yoo Joonghyuk shift a bit, and then a kiss is pressed to his nose. “I love you.”
Kim Dokja smiles helplessly. His cheeks are going to hurt one of these days if this keeps up.
“I love you too, Joonghyuk-ah.”
Somehow, even without needing to open his eyes, Kim Dokja can tell that Yoo Joonghyuk is smiling. He doesn’t smile often, especially out in public, so Kim Dokja revels in knowing that it’s only when they’re alone that Yoo Joonghyuk is like this; kind, caring, soft. It’s like a secret of his, something that only he knows.
Because for Yoo Joonghyuk, Kim Dokja is someone that he’d see the end of the world with, someone he can rely on, despite how ironic that is. And to Kim Dokja, life is meaningless if Yoo Joonghyuk isn’t there to keep him steady when he needs it.
For both of them, their story is only complete when the other is there.
“Good night, Dokja-yah.”