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"Coming up, we'll have our Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank round, and our panelists will predict the next fauxpology the CDC will issue regarding their role in the current zombie apocalypse. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. Hi, you're on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me!"
"Hi, Peter! This is Doug from Cheyenne, Wyoming."
"Doug, welcome to the show. This is usually when I'd ask you how things are in Cheyenne and make some pithy comments about your response, but we have kind of a situation here, so we're going to get started right away, if that's okay with you."
"Yeah, I've heard some stories about what's going on in Chicago. Are you guys--"
"Great! Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that word or phrase correctly, you'll win our prize--Carl's voice on your answering machine or voice mail. Are you ready?"
"Sure, I--was that a gunshot?"
"Nah, just Charlie Pierce having a little fun. Nothing to worry about! Here's Carl with the limerick."
"Vaccinations aren't supposed to cause pains,
But this one has mutating strains.
Now infected I've been,
And I'm sloughing off skin,
And soon I'll be eating your..."
"Eating your....eating your...uh, sorry, Carl. Your voice sounds different today, and it's hard to think with all the background noise. Is that Amy Dickinson screaming?"
"No, that's Mo Rocca. Doug, do you have an answer?"
"Okay, okay, it's supposed to rhyme...pains...strains...soon you'll be eating my--oh! My brain!"
"Braainnss."
"Sure, the plural. Brains. So did I win?"
"Braaaaiiinnnnsssss!"
"Carl? Are you going to be recording the message on my voice mail? How does that work, exactly? Carl? Peter? Anyone?"
*dial tone*