Chapter Text
bonky @iceicebaby
this is what free therapy looks like
223 likes | 27 retweets
bonky @iceicebaby
yes i’m bucky barnes bitch what you gonna do abt it
576 likes | 112 retweets
bonky @iceicebaby
yes i’m legally allowed to do this my therapist said it was ok
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @iceicebaby)
who is your therapist
>>bonky @iceicebaby
(replying to @biderspider)
sam
892 likes | 236 retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
@fuckbuckylives i just want to talk
>twitter is therapy ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @biderspider)
no twitter is valid therapy for bastard
4.3k likes | 435 retweets
gay and questionably human ✔️ @tonystark
i just want to say that i am gay specifically for rhodey this morning
>i don’t know who tony stark is ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @tonystark)
babe <3
>>gay and questionably human ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @tonystarkwhomst)
babe <3
>unfortunately knows who tony stark is ✔️ @vpceo
(replying to @tonystark)
:(
>>gay and questionably human ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @vpceo)
suddenly pansexuality invades my body
>>>unfortunately knows who tony stark is ✔️ @vpceo
(replying to @tonystark)
:)
127k likes | 12k retweets
tech antichrist | ankle orange @vengefulorange
did anyone else see that powerful fucking exchange from our queen pepper potts
>trixie, destroyer of gods @goldenzingy46
(replying to @vengefulorange)
[scrolls back] every day i become gayer
47 likes | 4 retweets
scarlet witch ✔️ @certifiedandroidfucker
i think i'm a lesbian
>kek crimes @randomperson
(replying to @certifiedandroidfucker)
babe what
>>scarlet witch ✔️ @certifiedandroidfucker
(replying to @randomperson)
i'm just saying. did vision ever get to pick his own gender
>>>vision ✔️ @2020vision
(replying to @certifiedandroidfucker)
it's too early for a crisis
32k likes | 3.8k retweets
trying out they/them pronouns??? ✔️ @2020vision
help
43k likes | 5.2k retweets
clown fucker? @stranger
ok so quick question. what was up w the possible spiderman acc earlier. why are we sleeping on this
>heteroflexible spiderfan @bentstraight
(reply to @stranger)
THE WHAT
>>i combined all my possible twitter names @yeeterparkour
(reply to @bentstraight)
flash when he sees new spiderman content: gotta go fast
>>>id bone weed flash @justababebeingabe
(reply to @yeeterparkour)
this is why im only friends with weed flash
>>>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(reply to @justababebeingabe)
sounds like you’re more than friends with him
>>>>>mj (affectionate) @yeeterparkour
(replying to @ratqueen)
goddammit mj
>>>>>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
stop changing your handle
52 likes | 7 retweets
sir atta sprint robot @aceofspades
imagine bonking your therapist
>bonky @iceicebaby
(reply to @aceofspades)
did you say my name
>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(reply to @iceicebaby)
no but it would apply to you
2.7k likes | 213 retweets
smile like you’re not dead inside @eastwind
so what abt captain america’s twitter account replying to ‘bucky barnes’
673 likes | 108 retweets
i’m adopted without being wanted (he/him) @gendersnake
i’m not verified in the eyes of god (my dad) but can i be verified on twitter
>i’m adopted without being wanted (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @gendersnake)
yes
1.5k likes | 204 retweets
the avengers circus act @robert
steve: okay so new battle plan
bucky: we roast the villain on twitter
steve: what
bucky: we roast the villain on twitter
sam: bastard’s enjoying therapy
3.4k likes | 400 retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
@gendersnake are you still a villain or is the emo phase over
>i’m adopted without being wanted (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
it depends on the moment tbh
>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
okay cool lemme know when you’re emo and we can jam out mcr or smth
>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
unrelated question, how old are you
>>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
19, old enough to do the bonk
>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @biderspider)
did someone say my name
>>>>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @iceicebaby)
no
>>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
great. i will teleport myself to your location
4.6k likes | 1.2k retweets
gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
wtf
>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @ratqueen)
is that loki
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @ratqueen)
i’m being a bottom
129 likes | 24 retweets
gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
scarlet witch’s hair,,, soft
>bone fairy @methri
(replying to @ratqueen)
are you mayhaps a lesbian
>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @methri)
peter’s not a lesbian
>>>mj (affectionate) @yeeterparkour
(replying to @ratqueen)
i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be
>trying out they/them pronouns??? ✔️ @2020vision
(replying to @ratqueen)
i agree her hair is the best. somft cloud. yes i have google alerts for her
>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @2020vision)
you know there are universes where wanda is white
>>>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @yeehawchild)
you mean there’s a universe where she doesn’t look like adult pepper from good omens??
203 likes | 14 retweets
twitter is therapy ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
i can’t believe bastard is verified because of me and steve
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
suck on that bird bitch
>>twitter is therapy ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
don’t tell me to suck on birds
3.7k likes | 1.4k retweets
bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
pomegranates. bad
>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @iceicebaby)
how dare you. pomegranate is the COCAINE of fruits
>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (they/them) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
elaborate
>>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
pomegranates: tasty, hard to open. ergo, cocaine
>>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (they/them) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
do you. do you know what cocaine is
>>>>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
no
>where are my bones @planetscollide
(replying to @iceicebaby)
how comes you don’t like pomegranates?
>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @planetscollide)
i misunderstood what a pomegranate was
>>>where are my bones @planetscollide
(replying to @iceicebaby)
did you eat the skin
>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @planetscollide)
no i misunderstood the fruit
>>>>>where are my bones @planetscollide
(replying to @iceicebaby)
what… what fruit did you mean
>>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @planetscollide)
banana
4.7k likes | 2.3k retweets
captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
okay starting a new thread because i don’t want to clog that one or be associated with bucky’s inability to tell what a banana is, wtf happened to bananas. they are Different
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
RIGHT?
>twitter is therapy ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
old man i think you’re broken
>gay and questionably human ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
capsicle is your memory going
>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @tonystark)
NO BUCKY GETS IT. THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM
>>>gay and questionably human ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
bonky bastard was lobotomised three times, i don’t think his opinion counts
>>>>still alive somehow @oopsidroppedmygender
(replying to @tonystark)
bonky was what
>aph @godssugarbaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
i read abt bananas being changed so yeah. they’re not the same fruit
>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @godssugarbaby)
whomst
>>>aph @godssugarbaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
plague
>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @godssugarbaby)
FUCK
9k likes | 5.4k retweets
trixie, destroyer of gods @goldenzingy46
can we go back to the bit where bonky got lobotomised
>still alive somehow @oopsidroppedmygender
(reply to @goldenzingy46)
yes actually. @/avengers elaborate on that please
>>gay and questionably human ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @oopsidroppedmygender)
hm. no
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @oopsidroppedmygender)
hydra looked at me and thought “that man has so many brain cells. too many, even”
>>>>twitter is therapy ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
i refuse to believe you ever had brain cells
>>>>trixie, destroyer of gods @goldenzingy46
(replying to @iceicebaby)
oh god are you okay
>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @goldenzingy46)
i was going to say “no need to call me god” but first. should i be concerned by your handle
>>>>>>trixie, destroyer of gods @goldenzingy46
(replying to @iceicebaby)
yes
>>>>still alive somehow @oopsidroppedmygender
(replying to @iceicebaby)
sir how are you still alive
>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @oopsidroppedmygender)
steve i think
>>>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
marry me
>>>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
ok
>>>>>>>>twitter is therapy ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
did you just propose on twitter. without me
>>>>>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
your @ is fuckbuckylives
>>>>>>>>>>bfs: engaged w/o me ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
fair
12k likes | 8.4k retweets
suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
so is anyone gonna ask how captain america got verified as captain ireland
>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @yeehawchild)
i’m irish
>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
wtf
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @yeehawchild)
i’m on a one man crusade to destroy captain america
>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @iceicebaby)
aren’t you two engaged
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @yeehawchild)
i’m engaged to steve rogers
>>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @iceicebaby)
fair enough
>twitter is therapy ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @yeehawchild)
steve’s handle was originally captain america but bastard changed it
>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @iceicebaby)
why do you hate the guy you’re dating
>>>twitter is therapy ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
i’m dating him for sex with his metal arm
>>>>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
bleach my young innocent eyes
15k likes | 8k retweets
i don’t know who tony stark is ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
ok so how does bonky trust sam not to bite his dick off
>bfs: engaged w/o me ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystarkwhomst)
bastard’s dick is made out of the same ~sensitive~ metal as his arm
>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
fake news but sam’s dick is made out of spare parts from redwing
>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
this is true. bonky doesn’t actually have a dick his flesh down there is like porcelain
>>>>i wish i didn’t know bonky ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
thanks i hate it
>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystarkwhomst)
my dick is actually made out of bees
>>>>>>bfs: engaged w/o me ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
those are hornets
>>>>>>i wish i didn’t know bonky ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @iceicebaby)
that’s one way to avoid your dick being bitten!
10k likes | 5k retweets
bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
i can get away with everything because i have BDE and also i underwent multiple lobotomies and healed from it
>gay and questionably human ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @iceicebaby)
what do you even need to get away with
>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
hydra brainwashed me into becoming the winter soldier
>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
also i think i killed your parents
>>>having a heart attack baby do you know cpr ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @iceicebaby)
this is not a revelation you drop over twitter
>>>having a heart attack baby do you know cpr ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @iceicebaby)
at least buy me a drink first
25k likes | 15k retweets
captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
haha avengers assemble on the twenty-seventh floor living room i’m gonna tell you guys abt bucky
>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
and afterwards i will tell twitter
10k likes | 5k retweets
gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
okay midtown acadec team assemble
>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @ratqueen)
present
>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @ratqueen)
here
>heteroflexible spiderfan @bentstraight
(replying to @ratqueen)
best bitch is here
>>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @bentstraight)
you’re right i am here
>id bone weed flash @justababebeingabe
(replying to @ratqueen)
hello
10 likes | 5 retweets
captain of the peter is sus team @reputablenewssource
guy s do we want to change our handles
>i swear peter has abs @moonmoon
(replying to @reputablenewssource)
no
>peter is,,, god? @justagalbeingpal
(replying to @reputablenewssource)
if peter sees he sees
>>captain of the peter is sus team @reputablenewssource
(replying to @justagalbeingpal)
maybe then he’ll finally own up to wtf he’s doing
>>>peter is a prostitute @justaguybeingdude
(replying to @reputablenewssource)
well fuck
2 likes | 4 retweets
gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
okay midtown acadec team assemble
>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @ratqueen)
present
>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @ratqueen)
here
>heteroflexible spiderfan @bentstraight
(replying to @ratqueen)
best bitch is here
>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @bentstraight)
you’re right i am here
>id bone weed flash @justababebeingabe
(replying to @ratqueen)
hello
>captain of the peter is sus team @reputablenewssource
(replying to @ratqueen)
hey!
>i swear peter has abs @moonmoon
(replying to @ratqueen)
hi!
>peter is,,, god? @justagalbeingpal
(replying to @ratqueen)
here!
>peter is a prostitute @justaguybeingdude
(replying to @ratqueen)
…here
>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @justaguybeingdude)
are you implying that i pay peter to date me
>>>peter is a prostitute @justaguybeingdude
(replying to @ratqueen)
no! i just think he’s sus because he runs off all the time!
>>>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @justaguybeingdude)
and your natural assumption is… that he’s a prostitute
>>>>>peter is a prostitute @justaguybeingdude
(replying to @ratqueen)
yeah
>>>>>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @justaguybeingdude)
alright valid
>>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @justaguybeingdude)
wtf
10 likes | 14 retweets
i swear peter has abs @moonmoon
@ratqueen what inspired your handle
>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @moonmoon)
heathers the musical
>>i swear peter has abs @moonmoon
(replying to @ratqueen)
oh i don’t remember that bit?
>>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @moonmoon)
west end version. heather duke’s “never gonna shut up again”
>>>>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @ratqueen)
only the author is british you don’t need to share heir views on the best version of heathers the musical
>>>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @chaironthened)
fuck yes join the murder the fourth wall train
>>>>>>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @chaironthened)
loki is also here
10 likes | 7 retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
ok i’m gonna try confession the true catholic way like dd keeps going on abt
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @biderspider)
i’m having an affair with god
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (they/them) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
me
>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
yeah
5.4k likes | 1.2k retweets
suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
everyone gets to break the fourth wall except deadpool
>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @yeehawchild)
sounds abt right
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (they/them) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @chaironthened)
it’s almost like the author has no sense of comedy and is desperate
>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @yeehawchild)
well. i can break twitter character limits
>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @mmio)
when will you ever need that bitch
>>>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @yeehawchild)
fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
>>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @mmio)
precisely one fuck you over the character limit, huh
3 likes | 7 retweets
[screaming intensely] @bidisaster
ok so question for @biderspider and @mmio: is team red a thing and can you get daredevil on twitter
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @bidisaster)
yes and probably not
>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @bidisaster)
he’ll give in one day
>>[screaming intensely] @bidisaster
(replying to @mmio)
thanks for that terrifying and slightly concerning answer, have a nice day!
>>>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @bidisaster)
my dick grows back last
1.2k likes | 384 retweets
fuckin’ red @mmio
@biderspider baby boy why haven’t you spoken to me yet :(
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @mmio)
your name is traumatising my poor virgin eyes
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (they/them) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
if you’re a virgin then whose dick was that yesterday
>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
loki think of the children
>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (they/them) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
children, get off twitter, i’m trying to sext my bf
>>>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
your sexting is shit we didn’t even use blindfolds last night
>>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @biderspider)
it’s not my fault red is horny all the time
>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @mmio)
i am /this/ close to giving dd the final vote he needs to end team red
5.4k likes | 3.2 retweets
fuckin’ red @mmio
poll: should i bonk spiderman as well as daredevil
yes
no
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @mmio)
did someone say my name
>>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @iceicebaby)
BONKY! tell me honestly, do you think me and spiderman should do the do
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @mmio)
my brain hasn’t thawed out yet ask someone else
>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
bucky this is an important meeting, get off twitter
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
and here i thought bucky lives and therapy mattered
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @mmio)
stop i already have a bf you look desperate
>i guess i’m a bottom now (they/them) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @mmio)
heard you were trying to take my man, bitch. you’re not jolene stop trying
5k likes | 2k retweets
i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
wow there sure has been a lot of deadpool lately huh
>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @chaironthened)
it’s almost like the author has no idea what immersion is :/
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (they/them) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @yeehawchild)
it’s called a build up, bitch
>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @gendersnake)
it’s called LAZINESS, stop DEFENDING heir
>>>>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @yeehawchild)
we are all but puppets in the pursuit of comedy
30 likes | 15 retweets
captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
hello twitter. yes, bucky was the winter soldier. he turned up on my doorstep & said "mission: destroy hydra. sub-mission: protect steve rogers" & we were all like “okay” because he had the body of the head with him & hey we had good sex
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
bonky*
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
bastard*
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
start your relationships off with a bang!
>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to iceicebaby)
rekindle*
>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
YOU BROKE MY CAR
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @iceicebaby)
that’s the wrong kind of bang
10k likes | 5k retweets
oceaaaaaaaaaaaaan @black_ocean
okay so mr. america cleared up exactly nothing
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @black_ocean)
hydra munched on my brain <3
1k likes | 567 retweets
bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
they never fully got rid of the hydra programming so i guess it was lucky that they said kill captain america not steve rogers
>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
no worries captain america is dead. wanna fuck
>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
without me???
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
i’m begging you to learn about private messages
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
then beg
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
my therapist said it was okay
10k likes | 3k retweets
gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
i am begging @iceicebaby to get a better therapist
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystark)
i’m perfectly fine bitch
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
have you seen the mess that’s bucky barnes
>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystark)
you spelt bonky bastard wrong
>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
spelled* we’re /american/ remember, author :/
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
ok but i’m sleeping with sam so it’s free
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @iceicebaby)
well fuck lemme try that again
27k likes | 15k retweets
gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
attempt #2: i’m begging bonky bastard to stop sleeping with his therapist
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
no
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
if it’s good enough for lucifer it’s good enough for me
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @iceicebaby)
why was the one piece of modern media you retained knowledge of /lucifer/
>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @tonystark)
don’t knock lucifer, it’s one of the author’s favourite shows
>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @yeehawchild)
it had a shit finale
>>>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @tonystark)
most of the episode was fine, it just violated its main message at the end
>>>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @yeehawchild)
“everything’s about choice!” except we’re gonna rob the main character of his final choice at the end. what the fuck
>>>>>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @tonystark)
it was better than spn!!
>>>>>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @yeehawchild)
why is that your standard for finales!
>>>>>>>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @tonystark)
idk the author didn’t even watch spn shey’s scared of american accents
>>>>>>>>>>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @yeehawchild)
shey watched hannibal??
>>>>>>>>>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @chaironthened)
so?
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
it’s steve who’s stupid not me
>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
and we were like, we know, but hey!
>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
maybe you’re not so stupid after all
>>>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
:-)
>>>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @iceicebaby)
nvm
>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
is this the time to point out that lucifer stopped sleeping with linda
>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
no. do you want me to stop sleeping with you
>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
not really, no
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystark)
bitch what have you got against me getting some dick
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
have you seen bonky!!
>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystark)
ok that’s fair
45k likes | 32k retweets
suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
okay but why is @tonystark’s @ so boring
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @yeehawchild)
have i done something to offend you
>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @tonystark)
you forgot me!
>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @yeehawchild)
who ARE you
>>>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @tonystark)
case in fucking point
>>suck on that, deadpool @yeehawchild
(replying to @tonystark)
just answer the question bitch boy
>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @yeehawchild)
well i couldn’t let someone else have it could i
>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @tonystark)
well fuck
>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
🎶 i’ll change my name and ride up to seattle 🎶
>>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @iceicebaby)
you do own a motorbike
>>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
doesn’t stop me from reenacting dead girl walking with my bfs
>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystark)
shit
>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
language
>>>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystark)
what the hell
>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @tonystark)
all variations of spiderman were already gone
>>>>not the real spiderman sorry @spiderman
(replying to @biderspider)
do you know how much i went through for this @
37k likes | 23k retweets
gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
okay here we go now. @captainamerica @steverogers @stevenrogers @stevegrantrogers @stevengrantrogers @captainrogers @rogers @buckybarnes @jamesbuchananbarnes @sergeantbarnes @sergeantbucky @sergeantjamesbuchanan @barnes @thefalcon @samwilson @falconwilson @wilson
>i am actually captain america @captainamerica
(replying to @tonystark)
and i’m not sorry
>REDWING SUPREMACY @thefalcon
(replying to @tonystark)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @thefalcon)
fuck, dude, i can’t even be mad
>>>REDWING SUPREMACY @thefalcon
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
redwing supremacy indeed
>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
language
>>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystark)
steve said that, not me!
>>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
steve swears too much so i got his boyfriend
>>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
fuck you #buckylivesmatter
>>>>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @iceicebaby)
no they don’t
23k likes | 17k retweets
bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
love the fact that none of the fake buckys came forward!
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
in accordance with grammar rules, bucky (plural) would be buckies
>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
we didn’t finish high school
25k likes | 14k retweets
tony stark (derogatory) @yeehawchild
welcome to life in bumfuck, tennesee!
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @yeehawchild)
that’s not how you spell tennessee
>>tony stark (derogatory) @yeehawchild
(replying to @tonystark)
i don’t give a fuck
>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @yeehawchild)
wait
>>>>tony stark (derogatory) @yeehawchild
(replying to @tonystark)
shhh, you’re not supposed to realise who i am until the peter reveal
>>>>unfortunately knows who tony stark is ✔️ @vpceo
(replying to @tonystark)
tony.
1.2k likes | 965 retweets
unfortunately knows who tony stark is ✔️ @vpceo
yes the vp in my @ is a play on vice president
>unfortunately knows who tony stark is ✔️ @vpceo
(replying to @vpceo)
for those of you asking why i’m vice president and not full president, my answer is simple: there is a kid out there that’s smarter than me and he is undoubtably the president of stark industries
>>unfortunately knows who tony stark is ✔️ @vpceo
(replying to @vpceo)
oh causing pr disasters is fun @tonystark i get why you do this now
>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @vpceo)
i’ve created a monster
27k likes | 16k retweets
conspiracy theories in yeehaw @whatyoudontknow
my followers keep badgering me abt the concept of pepper and rhodey faking their relationship with tony stark and i have to ask. @vpceo @tonystarkwhomst what’s up with your handles
>i don’t know who tony stark is ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @whatyoudontknow)
it’s a play on “you know who i am”
3.4k likes | 1.2k retweets
the avengers circus act @robert
tony: rhodey don’t you love me
rhodey: stop adopting children
tony: it’s a coping mechanism!!
rhodey: no it’s fucking not
3.6k likes | 1.4k retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
look at this new compilation of spiderman fails!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
why would you do this to me
>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
i got tired of the spiderman fails compilations
38k likes | 27k retweets
thunder toast best toast ✔️ @thunderthighs
i forgot this website existed. hello twitter
>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @thunderthighs)
you should tweet in all caps. it’s more in character
>>thunder toast best toast ✔️ @thunderthighs
(replying to @gendersnake)
fuck you too, dear sister.
21k likes | 13k retweets
gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
@robert why is your @ robert
>the avengers circus act @robert
(replying to @tonystark)
it’s my name
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @robert)
haha very funny
>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @robert)
oh hey bruce
1.2k likes | 496 retweets
captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
why does the hulk have an account but bruce doesn’t
>green lean hugging machine @hvlk
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
dhsjhdsjkjhxjk
>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @hvlk)
SEE??? HIS FINGERS ARE TOO BIG FOR BRUCE’S FUCKING PHONE
>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
oooh i’m captain america i’m all about equality and fairness :))) the hulk can’t have his own phone he’s not a person :/ is your mother happy with you now rogers. your mother is looking down at you and she’s fucking disappointed
>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystark)
captain ireland*
>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @tonystark)
what the fuck tony i literally JUST said that his hands are too big
>>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
WELL IM GONNA FUCKING MAKE HIM A BETTER PHONE
22k likes | 12k retweets
Stark Industries ✔️ @stark_inc
Announcing the release of our new, Hulk-sized phones! No, we don’t know why these exist either.
>green lean hugging machine @hvlk
(replying to @stark_inc)
:)
40k likes | 20k retweets
captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
what if my mother would be disappointed in me
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
and what have you done to make her disappointed, pal
>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
i’m part of the bourgeoisie now!! and i didn’t ask before appointing myself as captain ireland!!
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
firstly, /i/ appointed you as captain ireland. this was not your choice. secondly, if you don’t think sarah fuckin’ rogers wouldn’t be proud of you for everything you’ve done then you’re even stupider than i thought
>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
thanks, jerk <3
>>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
anytime, punk <3
>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
your mother would be proud of you, rogers. trust me on that.
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
sex is cancelled we’re having therapy in bed. again.
23k likes | 12k retweets
gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
unlike steve, i don’t have to worry about whether my parents would be pleased with me! howard is 100% disappointed <3
>i don’t know who tony stark is ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @tonystark)
FUCK howard stark
>>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @tonystarkwhomst)
in what way ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
>>>i don’t know who tony stark is ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @mmio)
well, he’s a corpse, so only in the metaphorical way.
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystark)
group therapy might be in order!
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
shit
14k likes | 7k retweets
i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
i wish dr. banner had an account so I could @ @drbanner and have it be an account that i didn’t make on account of me being a fan
>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
maybe you should give up the account then???
>>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @chaironthened)
then someone else would get it!!
>captain of the peter is sus team @reputablenewssource
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
i can’t believe peter is cockblocking bruce banner from twitter
>>heteroflexible spiderfan @bentstraight
(replying to @reputablenewssource)
i tried to tell everyone he’s a problem. #fuckpeterparker
56 likes | 28 retweets
gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
#fuckpeterparker? i already do that
12 likes | 1 retweet
tony stark (derogatory) @yeehawchild
ok but like. @hvlk it’s lean green not green lean
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @yeehawchild)
i was gonna ask how you can be such a bitch to hulk and then i remembered who you were and now i just seethe in silence
>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @yeehawchild)
green is inherently better than lean. next question
>>tony stark (derogatory) @yeehawchild
(replying to @gendersnake)
first the worst second the best???
12.3k likes | 7.4k retweets
still alive somehow @oopsidroppedmygender
@gendersnake are you genderfluid? because i’ve seen your pronouns change in your bio and was wondering. it would mean a lot to me because i am also genderfluid hdjskjdhsj
>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @oopsidroppedmygender)
yes i am <3 never make me into a role model or i’ll blow up new york
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @gendersnake)
try to blow up new york*
>>still alive somehow @oopsidroppedmygender
(replying to @gendersnake)
i actually think murder suits you and you should kill more people
18k likes | 12k retweets
trying out they/them pronouns??? ✔️ @2020vision
@gendersnake i’m calling you a gender expert. help
>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @2020vision)
gender bows to me
>>trying out they/them pronouns??? ✔️ @2020vision
(replying to @gendersnake)
HELP
>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @2020vision)
simply shapeshift into the body of your choice, like me
>>>>trying out they/them pronouns??? ✔️ @2020vision
(replying to @gendersnake)
well fuck
20k likes | 10k retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
@gendersnake does this mean that in theory we could go undercover as a hetero couple should homophobes come by
>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
technically yes but i could also just obliterate them or stab them or turn into a cat
>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
my gf is a cat??
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @biderspider)
well when you phrase it like that,
>>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @iceicebaby)
no not like that :( but also THIS IS A REVELATION
13k likes | 7k retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
@gendersnake come over i want cat cuddles
>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
are my normal cuddles not good enough
>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
CAT CUDDLES, LOKI. CAT CUDDLES.
5k likes | 2k retweets
gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
peter: says he’ll let us do acadec practice in his apartment
also peter: doesn’t answer the door when i hit the buzzer
>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @ratqueen)
luckily, you know how to pick locks! for some reason 
>>heteroflexible spiderfan @bentstraight
(replying to @chaironthened)
PETER HAS A CAT
>>>i swear peter has abs @moonmoon
(replying to @bentstraight)
PETER HAS A WHAT
>>>>heteroflexible spiderfan @bentstraight
(replying to @moonmoon)
I WENT IN THERE AND HE HAS A VERY SMALL BLACK CAT (KITTEN??) WITH GREEN EYES AND SHE’S ADORABLE AND SHE JUST TRIED TO TAKE MY HAND OFF
>>>peter is,,, god? @justagalbeingpal
(replying to @bentstraight)
this is why we don’t let flash go in first
>>captain of the peter is sus team @reputablenewssource
(replying to @chaironthened)
how did you get that emoji
>>>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @reputablenewssource)
pros of beating deadpool at his own game
>>>>captain of the peter is sus team @reputablenewssource
(replying to @chaironthened)
DEADPOOL???
id bone weed flash @justababebeingabe
ok so the conclusion is the cat—whos called loki after the guy that tried to murder new york—hates everyone except peter but especially hates mj. shes a feisty motherfucker but were all in love with her
>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @justababebeingabe)
i’m so glad you like her because you will be seeing a lot of her <3
20 likes | 15 retweets
i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
requesting to break up with my boyfriend
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
request denied <3
1.2k likes | 837 retweets
i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
i am being Jealous :(
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
you knew about her and she knew about you
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
yes but she was THERE and giving AFFECTION and i couldn’t compete because i was a cat and nobody else there knew :(
>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
aw babe i’m sorry :( want to come back over for normal cuddles
>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/her) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
yes
3.4k likes | 1.2k retweets
[screaming intensely] @bidisaster
wait @biderspider @gendersnake who is ‘she’
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @bidisaster)
ok well i’m poly and i have two partners: my civilian gf and loki. i kind of expected CG and loki to date also because they are very similar but they just decided to be terrifying best friends instead and that’s very valid of them <3
>>[screaming intensely] @bidisaster
(replying to @biderspider)
that’s adorable actually
2.1k likes | 3.2k retweets
captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
feeling like a day to commit war crimes
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
can you commit them for me seeing as bastard is clearly the favourite
>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
he was at war with me so he should commit them for me
>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
i can commit two sets of war crimes
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
please don’t commit war crimes
>>thunder toast best toast ✔️ @thunderthighs
(replying to @tonystark)
civil war
>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @thunderthighs)
THOR??
38k likes | 25k retweets
tony stark (derogatory) @yeehawchild
did you really think there’d be relationship drama in THIS twitter fic?
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
@buckylivesmatter are u the guy from the psas
>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @biderspider)
hate it here
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
he WHAT
>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @tonystark)
i think you should google captain america psas and bully steve with me
12k likes | 10k retweets
trying out they/them pronouns??? ✔️ @2020vision
you think my name is a pun but it’s actually a threat
17k likes | 10k retweets
gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
gay
45k likes | 20k retweets
gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
ok but all of you dissing the hulk: he is my best friend (brucie is my qpr <3) and i will throw down for him
35k likes | 15k retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
[screenshot of tony stark’s last two tweets] the duality of man tony stark
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @biderspider)
i have understood my mistakes. this is just his entire personality (affectionate)
20k likes | 10k retweets
fuckin’ red @mmio
the mmio in my @ stands for mass murder is okay
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @mmio)
only on yours or frank’s missions!
>>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @biderspider)
i know the vigilante code bitch
5k likes | 2.5k retweets
i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
@biderspider babe,, have you still got your friend that can hack into twitter
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
yes of course why
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
a “friend” of mine violated a bet
>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
hhh okay but i want more cat cuddles from you
>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
deal <3
12k likes | 6k retweets
i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
@chaironthened i need a favour
>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
ok i’m in what is it. also i’m deadass outside your house so
2 likes | 1 retweet
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
@gendersnake the things i do for love and hot wild sex
>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
@jerkwithmagic HEY THERE STEPHDEN. DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEW @.
>>stephen strange ✔️ @jerkwithmagic
(replying to @gendersnake)
it’s stephen.
>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @jerkwithmagic)
stephen with a phd
>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @deactivated)
HE DELETED HIS ENTIRE A C C O U N T
>>>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
why’d you say it like that
>>>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
gay
>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @gendersnake)
bottom on bottom violence
45k likes | 25k retweets
i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
many people are asking what dr. stephDen strange did to deserve my ire. simple. we had a magicless fight and i punched him through a wall and called it a gay ass day
>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @gendersnake)
yes i AM referencing a tumblr post that exists in the author’s universe. no i don’t care
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
i told you that you were better than the second rate magician <3
12k likes | 6k retweets
i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
fun, sexy things about being 19: i’m jared now
unfun, unsexy things about being 19: no more decathlon
fun, sexy things about being 19: decathlon, apparently???
>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @chaironthened)
i don’t care
10 likes | 5 retweets
heteroflexible spiderfan @bentstraight
okay challenge: every time we skip a class or turn in late or fall asleep or forget homework we say “ohhh miss/sir it’s the stark internship” and see how long it takes for them to call bs
>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @bentstraight)
mjjjjj,,, flash is bullying me
>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
@bentstraight heteroflexible just means gay
>>>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @ratqueen)
i love you <33333333333333333333
>>>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
i know <3 i love you too <3
5 likes | 10 retweets
i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
feeling jealous again :(
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
dearest darling loki. you just appeared on my lap with no warning. you’re lucky i wasn’t around people
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
i could always wipe their memories
>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
loki no
12k likes | 7k retweets
thunder toast best toast ✔️ @thunderthighs
I AM TAKING MY BROTHER’S ADVICE AND AM TWEETING ENTIRELY IN CAPS NOW.
>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @thunderthighs)
please un-take my advice
>>thunder toast best toast ✔️ @thunderthighs
(replying to @gendersnake)
NOT UNTIL YOU COME OVER. I REQUIRE A LOKI-HUG.
>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @thunderthighs)
im on house arrest
>>>>thunder toast best toast ✔️ @thunderthighs
(replying to @gendersnake)
SELF IMPOSED HOUSE ARREST DOESN’T COUNT AND NEITHER DOES FAKING YOUR DEATH. I REQUIRE A LOKI-HUG.
10k likes | 9k retweets
thunder toast best toast ✔️ @thunderthighs
i got a loki-hug :) [image of thor wrapped around a person with dark hair dressed in green. the person is hugging back quite tightly and has their head turned away from the camera]
20k likes | 13k retweets
i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
[image of a very much awake loki with his arms wrapped around thor’s sleeping body. he is staring directly at the camera and trying not to smile] shhh. he’s sleeping
21k likes | 14k retweets
gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
pepper and rhodey are signing marriage papers rn. everyone who can get to uhhh central park in uhhhhhh half an hour is invited to mine and pepper’s wedding
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @tonystark)
surprisingly low turnout :/ expected better of you new york. anyway in a jet to get to vegas to have a VEGAS WEDDING with platypus <3
>>i don’t know who tony stark is ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @tonystark)
all the paperwork should arrive at the same time and we’ll all legally be married <3 okay time to go back to new york so we can have a nice night in as a married couple
>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @tonystarkwhomst)
back to new york for HOT WILD SEX
>>>>i don’t know who tony stark is ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @tonystark)
is it too early to get a divorce
25k likes | 13k retweets
unfortunately knows who tony stark is ✔️ @vpceo
and THIS, twitter, is why i didn’t mind tony calling himself gay instead of pan :) we worked out the wedding arrangements two years ago
17k likes | 10k retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
loki to thor's face: bitch. i hate you. die
loki to the internet: this is my brother :) i love him deeply and will kill you for disturbing him
thor, who knows this: loki hug best hug <3
12k likes | 6k retweets
captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
i’m just saying! maybe if you’re legally dead they can’t prosecute you!
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
just say that we’re running from police officers
20k likes | 15k retweets
fuckin’ red @mmio
@buckylivesmatter i want to go to canada so you know what that means
>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @mmio)
i can only throw so many fights, wade.
>>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
JUST LET ME DRAW FIRST BLOOD PLEASE
4k likes | 2k retweets
where are my bones @planetscollide
ok what was the deadpool/captain america exchange abt
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @planetscollide)
captain ireland actually :/
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @planetscollide)
both steve and wade are banned from canada but there’s a loophole where they can fight and the person to draw first blood is allowed in for 24 hours
17k likes | 8k retweets
captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
why do war crimes seem more appealing than regular crimes
20k likes | 4k retweets
third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
good morning america! i’m gonna expose steve because he likes bastard, the one who was lobotomised, more than me
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
1. steve is banned from every state except new york and even then he’s on thin fucking ice and it’s because he helped save them
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
i did most of the work!
>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @tonystark)
go back to your honeymoon and don’t get me banned from the place i LIVE
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/him) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
why the fuck am i allowed in new york then
>>>new york police department @NYPD
(replying to @gendersnake)
you’re not
>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
i’m allowed in hawaii
>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
that’s because you haven’t been there yet
>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
2. steve has been deported three times from britain (and twice from ireland) ((he’s banned everywhere))
>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
3. the only coffee shop/cafe steve is allowed in is starbucks and that’s under the condition he buys an iced americano
>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
i hate iced americanos
>>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
4. in russia it’s a kill on sight for steve
>>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
i still stand by arson wasn’t bad enough to get a kill on sight order no matter how many times i committed it
>>>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
aaaand 5. france, italy, germany, and greece have all politely requested that steve does not return
45k likes | 24k retweets
green lean hugging machine ✔️ @hvlk
:) [slightly blurry image of a mildly squashed tony stark in a one armed embrace of the hulk]
12k likes | 10k retweets
i don’t know who tony stark is ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
[the same image, but clearer and tony has managed to work an arm out to give a thumbs up to the camera. his face is bright red but he is obviously smiling]
13k likes | 12k retweets
aph @godssugarbaby
@biderspider how are you alive
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @godssugarbaby)
god keeps trying to kill me but i keep eating the lightning
>>thunder toast best toast ✔️ @thunderthighs
(replying to @biderspider)
that happened ONE TIME
>>aph @godssugarbaby
(replying to @biderspider)
i just watched you walk down the street with—and i counted—/seventeen/ knives stuck in your body and all the stab wounds were bleeding
>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @godssugarbaby)
maybe your sugar daddy has a shit sense of humour
>>>>aph @godssugarbaby
(replying to @biderspider)
don’t hold my @ against me
1.2k likes | 567 retweets
knife girls. that is all @murderpun
clint coerced me into making a twitter. gonna be a lesbian on main
>I’M ARROW @eyenotear
(replying to @murderpun)
and you’re valid, tasha
180 likes | 67 retweets
[screaming intensely] @bidisaster
@murderpun are you the person that revealed shield secrets to the internet
>knife girls. that is all @murderpun
(replying to @bidisaster)
what's shield. never heard of that. what's shield. i never worked for shield. that's a shit name for a spy organisation
>>director fury @nickfury
(replying to @murderpun)
:(
>>>I’M ARROW @eyenotear
(replying to @nickfury)
shield? you mean my old archery club with my old pal phil? who died in a tragic accident and wasn’t murdered at all?
>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @eyenotear)
sorry
>>>>>knife girls. that is all @murderpun
(replying to @gendersnake)
you couldn’t beat me in hand to hand combat
1.2k likes | 567 retweets
captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
oh and sam? we love you
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
i’m thinking abt it
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
maybe i don’t love YOUR pyromaniac ass
4k likes | 2k retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
ok i know i’m the one that coined CG but my gf has told me that she does not appreciate the term and would prefer TE, or terrifying entity
12.3k likes | 7k retweets
HAPSTER ✔️ @foreheadofsecurity
tony stark made this account for me.
32k likes | 12k retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
am i god? no. but i am sleeping with one
>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
me <3
>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
yeah tho i’m pretty sure TE considers herself a god
12k likes | 7k retweets
i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
@ratqueen are you a god
>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
not legally
>>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @ratqueen)
and illegally?
>>>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
yes.
12 likes | 4 retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
i am sleeping with two (2) gods
>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
you’re sleeping with thor???
>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
no your dad
>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
i’m breaking up with you
>>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
then TE the illegal god gets me all to herself :)
>>>>>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
well fuck
17k likes | 8k retweets
i guess i’m a bottom now (she/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
my bf told me that listening to hayloft ii would be an experience. this is just sound (derogatory)
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @gendersnake)
i said it was an experience not that it was good one
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @gendersnake)
hayloft ii is great trust me i’m an engineer
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (she/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @tonystark)
an engineer with shit taste in music
38k likes | 20k retweets
i don’t know who tony stark is ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
tony is sick and still in his workshop. #gotosleeptonystark
>unfortunately knows who tony stark is ✔️ @vpceo
(replying to @tonystarkwhomst)
#gotosleeptonystark
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @vpceo)
i’m FINE
>>>the avengers circus act @robert
(replying to @tonystark)
rhodey: go to sleep, tony, you’re sick
pepper: you’re literally buried in tissues
steve: idk tony you look like bucky’s first attempt at makeup
tony: i’m FINE. but are you, blurry image number three?
steve: …yeah you should listen to your partners
>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @robert)
i don’t take criticism from someone whose @ is ROBERT
>>>>>the avengers circus act @robert
(replying to @tonystark)
it’s my name
>>>>>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @robert)
haha yeah sure it is
>>>>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @robert)
this exchange actually happened,, are we being stalked
>>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @robert)
hey :( i’m sorry my first eyeliner wasn’t good :(
>>>>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
you! are! not! at! fault! for! hydra! makeup! artists!
12k likes | 6k retweets
i think i’m a lesbian ✔️ @certifiedandroidfucker
shoutout to that time bonky kidnapped me from a hydra base <3 without him i wouldn’t be hanging out in a vaguely ugly glass tower
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @certifiedandroidfucker)
hey :(
14k likes | 12k retweets
my life revolves around tony ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
@tonystark please go to sleep you’re my emotional support genius billionaire playboy philanthropist
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @tonystarkwhomst)
okay <33
>my life revolves around tony’s mistakes ✔️ @vpceo
(replying to @tonystarkwhomst)
he’s crying now
12k likes | 6k retweets
i guess i’m a bottom now (he/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
ok what would it take for me to be allowed to take over
>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @gendersnake)
free healthcare
>>i could be a lesbian if i wanted to be @yeeterparkour
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
shit wrong account
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @yeeterparkour)
you don’t have that???
>gotta run this rat pit @ratqueen
(replying to @gendersnake)
free dental. free opticians. free checkups
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @ratqueen)
what is. what is wrong,
>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @gendersnake)
increase the minimum wage so people can live off it
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (he/they) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @chaironthened)
congrats on making a god cry!
>>>i’m jared, 19 @chaironthened
(replying to @gendersnake)
can i put that on my resume
17k likes | 14k retweets
knife girls. that is all @murderpun
i sleep with a knife <3
>I’M ARROW @eyenotear
(replying to @murderpun)
i sleep with a bow!
>>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @eyenotear)
weak. i sleep with america’s deadliest super soldiers <3
>>>knife girls. that is all @murderpun
(replying to @fuckbuckylives)
ew
12k likes | 6k retweets
fuckin’ red @mmio
kudos to bonky’s parents for giving him the most spectacular name
>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @mmio)
they actually named me james which slaps slightly less
>>fuckin’ red @mmio
(replying to @iceicebaby)
you lied to me??? the honorary vigilante lied to me??
>>my world revolves around tony ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @iceicebaby)
hey :(
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @tonystarkwhomst)
james gang??
>>>>my world revolves around tony ✔️ @tonystarkwhomst
(replying to @iceicebaby)
yes <3
7k likes | 4k retweets
my world revolves around tony’s mistakes ✔️ @vpceo
y’know we should probably stop asking tony to pick our handles
3k likes | 1.2k retweets
[screaming intensely] @bidisaster
okay who is @yeehawchild and why is tony stark following him
>tony stark (derogatory) @yeehawchild
(replying to @bidisaster)
i’m tony stark’s son just not legally or biologically and he knows this
1.2k likes | 743 retweets
green lean hugging machine ✔️ @hvlk
@tonystark <3
>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @hvlk)
<333333
2.1k likes | 1.2k retweets
conspiracy theories in yeehaw @whatyoudontknow
okay so: the facts
- spidey knows captain america’s psas
- they only play the psas in schools
- yes you can find them on youtube BUT only if you know they exist in the first place
conclusion: spidey is a dilf
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @whatyoudontknow)
i said i was 19 wtf
>>conspiracy theories in yeehaw @whatyoudontknow
(replying to @biderspider)
shhh
3.4k likes | 2.1k retweets
dilf spidey renaissance @dilfspidey
WHAT DID I TELL YOU
>spider-man’s new stark suit @tonyandspideysittinginatree
(replying to @dilfspidey)
okay so now is the time to ask: are tony stark and spider-man a Thing?
>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @tonyandspideysittinginatree)
i’d absolutely bonk tony stark but he’s my father figure so that’d be weird
>>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @biderspider)
did you say my name
>>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @iceicebaby)
no. no i did not.
>>>>>the ultimate dilf? @tonystarksbiggestfan
(replying to @biderspider)
would that make tony stark the biggest dilf? the dad of the dilf?
>>>spider-man’s new stark suit @tonyandspideysittinginatree
(replying to @biderspider)
oh okay that’s valid
5k likes | 2.5k retweets
heteroflexible spiderfan @bentstraight
[fanart of dilf spidey] i’m just thinking. abt those THIGHS
120 likes | 12 retweets
friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
guys i’m nineteen
>conspiracy theories in yeehaw @whatyoudontknow
(replying to @biderspider)
you have dilf vibes. hush. #dilfspidey
12k likes | 1 retweet
spider-man, spiderman @imjustconfused
@biderspider does your name have a hyphen in it
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @imjustconfused)
no. it has a bang
>>spider-man, spiderman @imjustconfused
(replying to @biderspider)
a. a what
>>>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @imjustconfused)
spider!man
17k likes | 8k retweets
bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
i don’t believe other planets exist
>third wheeling my own relationship ✔️ @fuckbuckylives
(replying to @iceicebaby)
someone didn’t finish high school and it shows
13k likes | 10k retweets
don’t tell the police @castle
@mmio come get your fucking guns
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @castle)
frank!!
>>don’t tell the police @castle
(replying to @biderspider)
spidey!
4k likes | 2k retweets
bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
@buckylivesmatter have you seen the new art exhibit? remember when you used to draw? Imagine if you did that again
>captain ireland ✔️ @buckylivesmatter
(replying to @iceicebaby)
but you’re my muse
>>bonky ✔️ @iceicebaby
(replying to @buckylivesmatter)
i am taking my clothes off right now
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @iceicebaby)
please get snapchat or something
27k likes | 14k retweets
tony stark (derogatory) @yeehawchild
@biderspider why is neighbourhood spelt the british way
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @yeehawchild)
loki?
>>i guess i’m a bottom now (they/them) ✔️ @gendersnake
(replying to @biderspider)
the author is british
12k likes | 7k retweets
gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
ok it had occurred to me that i should probably try and address the pr disaster pepper caused but then i simply went no <3 not my problem
>friendly neighbourhood bitch @biderspider
(replying to @tonystark)
i could deal with it for you mr. stark
>>gay and unnerved ✔️ @tonystark
(replying to @biderspider)
wait a fucking second
40k likes | 20k retweets