Work Text:
Bloody hell, how long was I asleep for, was Wei Wuxian’s first thought when he took in his surroundings. The second was, am I dreaming, which spoke volumes about how utterly bizarre it was. After all, he had not dreamt in well over 700 years.
He didn’t think he’d slept for that long. A few decades, tops. Right? He let his eyes scurry over his surroundings once more, feeling not at all confident in that assessment.
The buildings were towering over him at least double the size of what he was used to, and in the distance, he could see an assortment of buildings so tall that he got a fear of heights just by looking at them. The cars were unrecognisable, and zoomed past him faster than he thought was possible. Neon lights and giant luminescent screens were blaring at him from the store windows. Not even in his wildest dreams could he have imagined something like this. Was he even in London anymore?
He was. As he rounded another block, what was undoubtedly the Big Ben became visible between the glass-clad buildings. Wei Wuxian was ready to cry at the familiar sight. Soon, he was standing on Westminster Bridge, taking in the familiar yet totally foreign environment.
Westminster Palace looked exactly like it had before he locked himself in his coffin. Behind him was the Waterloo Bridge, and below him, the water of the Thames was just as murky as it had ever been. If not for the impossibly large ferris wheel that was slowly turning on the other side of the river, he could have fooled himself to believe that nothing had changed.
He must have been asleep for at least a century for the world to have changed so drastically, he was certain of it.
Not far away, Lan Wangji was making his way across England. He was taking a “train”, some sort of public transportation that the Humans favoured. It was painfully slow, but it was as good as it got. He knew that Humans also had “aeroplanes”, a superior method of transportation, but that required a “passport”, which Lan Wangji had yet to acquire. Alas, train was the best he could do for now.
Lan Wangji was a history student at one of the best universities this side of the galaxy, who had decided to write his doctorate thesis on the topic of Humans. It still remained one of the lesser studied planets in the galaxy, as they had only recently developed intelligent life forms, “Humans”. The regulations regarding initiating contact with young civilisations were strict, and the Humans had yet to wander outside their own solar system. Thus, interactions between them and the rest of the galaxy had been minimal.
His advisor had initially discouraged him from doing his paper on such a primitive species. This was, after all, the species who had called their home planet “Earth” and their solar system “The Solar System”. But Lan Wangji had always been fascinated with the young civilisations—it was like witnessing ancient history as it was happening. Besides, even though the literature was lacking, the Humans did have a functioning society, if an arguably unsophisticated one.
In the end, he had gotten his research visa to visit Earth. His uncle had thrown a fit when he heard, spluttering something about “barely more than animals”, but Lan Wangji had made up his mind.
He had already been on Earth for a few weeks, and he was coming to realise just how lacking the records about the planet were. None of the research on Human Society was accurate, and even the climate assessment was faulty. Lan Wangji felt a mix of annoyance over how useless much of his preparatory research was and excitement over how much there was to study.
To do that, his first destination was London, the largest city in this part of the continent—perfect for studying Humans in their natural habitat.
It wasn’t the first time Wei Wuxian had gone to sleep and stayed asleep. It was refreshing, in a way, and made eternity feel less… eternal. Besides, some parts of history just weren’t worth it. Like the Ming dynasty—boring as heck. He had also been unfortunate enough to be in Europe during the Black Death. Nasty business, that plague.
Usually, he just sealed his coffin for a decade or two, though. Where did he go wrong this time? Because he was absolutely certain it wasn’t the 1940s; it was impossible for the humans to have evolved this much. Sure, the industrial revolution had sped things up a notch, but certainly not to this degree?
Anyway, there was only one thing to do.
“Excuse me,” he said to the nearest person. It was a teenager with the most revealing items of clothing he had seen in his life. Wei Wuxian was by no means a prude, but dear lord, those shorts barely reached below their ass. “What year is it?”
“What,” the teenager said.
“What year is it,” Wei Wuxian repeated.
“Uhm, 2022?” The teenager was looking at him like they were contemplating calling the nearest asylum. The utter shock undoubtedly present on his face probably didn’t help his case.
Twenty twenty-two. Two thousand and twenty-two. It had been eighty years. Holy fuck, what the heck. Eight decades. That was almost a century. How could he have messed up this bad!
“Whatever, man,” the teenager said, and walked away. Wei Wuxian was left dumbstruck on the busy pavement.
Fuck. 2022. 80 years of sleep. No wonder everything was so different. He was in another century. He even missed the turn of the millennium! He whimpered. He had been looking forward to that.
Wei Wuxian eventually stumbled into a café after getting over the initial shock of not even being in the twentieth century anymore. He needed a fucking drink—and a swig of blood—but for now, coffee would to. It was still much too early in the evening for either. Besides, it was years since his last drink, surely he could wait a few more hours.
“I’ll have an espresso,” Wei Wuxian said gruffly to the person behind the counter.
“That’ll be 1 £,” they said.
“ One pound?!” Wei Wuxian hissed. “For one shot of espresso?”
“Please, sir, calm down. I’m sorry, but that’s the price,” the barista said, looking almost as bewildered as Wei Wuxian felt.
This must be a joke—yet a quick glance at the board behind the barista confirmed it: one pound for a cup of espresso. He looked back at the barista, half expecting them to say something, give some sort of explanation, but they kept quiet. “Fucking fine,” he said eventually, and slammed a one-pound bill on the counter. The barista regarded it doubtfully, but accepted it in exchange for the expresso.
He took the cup with him to one of the window seats, grumbling about inflation. One entire pound for a shot of espresso, what had the world come to.
It was lucky he chose a chair by the window, because the next thing he laid eyes on was the most ridiculously attractive man he had ever seen in his life passing by. Wei Wuxian’s jaw dropped. He had long, black hair and impossibly golden eyes, with the bone structure of a god. He was wearing an unusual assortment of clothes, but Wei Wuxian was too stunned by his beautiful face to find it weird.
It must have been his lucky day, because the man proceeded to enter the café. Wei Wuxian was certain that if his heart could still beat, it would beat right out of his chest.
The ethereal man stopped in the middle of the room. He seemed to just observe his surroundings for a moment, taking in the room, the people, the menu. Lastly, his gaze fell on him, and Wei Wuxian snapped his jaw shut.
“Do you want to sit down?” he asked before he could think any better of it.
The man considered it, and Wei Wuxian wanted to bang his head against the table. Heavens, he was such an embarrassment. He blamed it on however many decades it had been since his last human interaction, no matter how unconscious he had been during that time.
Shockingly, the man eventually replied, “I would like that.” Wei Wuxian had to consciously keep his mouth from falling open again.
“P-please.” Wei Wuxian gestured at the empty seat.
The man graciously sat down opposite to him. “Thank you.” His voice was deep and soft as velvet. He had an accent, but it didn’t sound like anything Wei Wuxian had heard before. It did make him sound incredibly sexy, though.
“I’m Wei Wuxian,” he managed without stuttering.
“My name is Lan Wangji.”
“Not from around here, huh.”
“Was that a question?”
“I guess, yeah.”
“Then no, I’m not from ‘around here’,” Lan Wangji said, doing elaborate air quotes.
A small chuckle escaped him. He had somewhat recovered from the shock of Lan Wangji’s… everything—at least enough to manage not staring dumbly at him anymore.
“So, what brings you to London,” Wei Wuxian asked.
“Studies.”
“What do you study?”
“History.”
Wei Wuxian grinned again. “Man of few words, eh?”
Lan Wangji raised an eyebrow, almost unnoticeably. “I suppose.” Then adding, “And you?”
“Me what?”
“What are you doing in London?”
Flustered, Wei Wuxian uttered a strangled laugh and scratched his cheek. Up until now? Sleeping, apparently. Before? Drinking, “drinking”, and flirting, probably. None of which were appropriate to bring up in casual conversation with someone you had just met. “Oh, you know, just having fun.”
Something in Lan Wangji’s expression seemed to change marginally, but Wei Wuxian had no way of deciphering it. It didn’t help at all that the next thing he said was: “Then, would you allow me to accompany you?”
Wei Wuxian almost fell off his chair. Did he hear that right?? Did this unbelievably handsome man just suggest that they spend the day together? As in a date?? Dear heavens, if he wasn’t careful, this person would be the death of him—well, second death, anyway. His poor, non-beating heart!
“Of course, yes, please!” said Wei Wuxian after straightening up in his chair.
Lan Wangji was pleased. This was perfect. An opportunity to study a real Human who knew Human culture and customs. He would undoubtedly learn much about this world.
“It is my first time in London. Do you want to show me the city?” Lan Wangji asked.
Wei Wuxian made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. Lan Wangji made note of this; it was most certainly some sort of Human communication he had yet to uncover.
“I would love to!” Wei Wuxian said eventually. He rose to his feet in an instant, almost knocking over the empty cup in front of him. Lan Wangji wondered if clumsiness was normal Human Behaviour, or if Wei Wuxian was the outlier.
Lan Wangji took out his Communication Device. It was awfully primitive, but it did have fundamental functions, like a map.
He noticed Wei Wuxian staring at it.
“This is my fellytone,” he said, even though a Human, well-versed in Human matters, certainly didn’t need to be told such a thing.
"Fel-fellytone?" Wei Wuxian stuttered, his eyes shifting rapidly between the Communication Device and Lan Wangji.
“…” He frowned despite himself. Did he say it wrong?
"Riiiight, fellytone, of course,” Wei Wuxian suddenly exclaimed. “Yes, I have many fellytones. Which I use all the time."
He looked down at his Communication Device, wondering if that was perhaps the reason it was so slow and deficient; it needed to be used alongside other Devices. The Human Species had been sending fellow Humans to their moon (known as “The Moon”) for over 50 years—technology ought to be far more advanced than a simple pocket sized computer.
“I have left my fellytones in my- at home, though,” Wei Wuxian quickly continued, scratching his cheek again.
“It’s not a problem. Do you need to borrow mine for the map then?”
“Map?!” Wei Wuxian “I’ll have you know I’ve been living here for dec”—he coughed—“years!”
Lan Wangji added sense of direction to his mental note on the Human Species.
Lan Wangji crossed sense of direction off his mental note on the Human Species.
They had been wandering seemingly aimlessly around in London for the better part of half an hour. Wei Wuxian was chattering happily about the buildings they passed. From time to time, he interrupted himself, muttering under his breath, and looked bewildered around himself. In the privacy of his own mind, Lan Wangji thought to himself that Wei Wuxian should have brought his fellytones.
“Ah! There's Big Ben!” Wei Wuxian suddenly burst out.
Again, he wondered if all Humans were this loud, or if Wei Wuxian was just the outlier. Other Humans stared at them as they passed, making Lan Wangji lean towards the latter.
“And that over there”—he pointed at the giant amusement attraction on the other side of the river—“is the Big Wheel!”
Lan Wangji, who was now well used to the unimaginative naming sense of the Human Race, accepted this. They had already passed “The Underground”, at which Lan Wangji couldn’t help but sigh.
“I have never been myself, though, it looks so much fun,” Wei Wuxian continued. “Look at the tiny humans up in the sky! They must see the entire city from there. So incredible that they have made something like this, is it not?” His eyes practically glittered up at the turning wheel.
Without thinking, Lan Wangji gracefully hooked his arm around Wei Wuxian’s, leading them over the bridge.
“Eh??” Wei Wuxian startled, but let himself be guided along.
He used his Communication Device to buy tickets for the wheel, “The London Eye”, as was its actual name—he couldn’t decide if that was better or worse than what Wei Wuxian had initially called it—spending an unreasonable amount of his research funds on a fast-track ticket. (He told himself that it was purely for academic purposes, and had nothing to do with Wei Wuxian’s beautiful eyes or brilliant smile.)
It still required some waiting, but Wei Wuxian was lighting up like the brightest star in the sky the entire way. Soon, they were standing in a compartment with ten or so Humans, beginning the ascent to the top.
The city slowly unravelled before them, as far as the eye could see. Beside him, Wei Wuxian gasped and squealed and pointed. At one point, after having noticed how far up in the air they were, he had clung to Lan Wangji’s arm. His skin was cool against his, but to Lan Wangji, the touch was burning, and he thought he might burst on the spot. Something warm and unfamiliar blossomed from within, and he was beginning to struggle justifying spending all day with this incredible person—who, Lan Wangji could now admit, had turned out to be a quite poor example of his kind.
Yet, with Wei Wuxian right next to him, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
They eventually came down back to earth after about half an hour, and Wei Wuxian didn’t know whether to feel relieved to have both feet back on the ground again (contrary to popular belief, Wei Wuxian could not turn into a bat, and had never been so far up in the air in his life), or mournful that he was no longer locked in with Lan Wangji. He hadn’t meant to cling to his arm when he had made the grave mistake of looking down, but Lan Wangji hadn’t seemed to mind, and Wei Wuxian certainly hadn’t minded.
In fact, as they walked back across the Thames, Wei Wuxian kept his arm hooked around Lan Wangji’s. They had just met, but they had just been on the most romantic date he’d been on in a well over a century—he was allowed! And Lan Wangji was such a gentleman about it too, Wei Wuxian might actually swoon. He gracefully led them down the streets of London, his big, strong arm slightly held out for Wei Wuxian to hold on to.
If he still had a beating heart, he feared it might have been beating right out of his chest. He was a goner.
(In the back of his mind, he heard an echo of Jiang Cheng’s voice: Don’t get too close to the humans, it never ends well.
Shut up, he hissed mentally. Jiang Cheng didn’t understand anything about true love!)
The London night was nothing like he was used to. Even as twilight passed and the sky up above was completely black, the city stayed bright. The lights were still impossibly bright, coming from every direction. Wei Wuxian didn’t think he had seen something quite like it since the last time he laid eyes on the sun itself. It was ugly and it was beautiful.
He wasn’t getting any closer to understanding anything he was seeing though. Lan Wangji was no help either, as he seemed just as lost as Wei Wuxian himself half the time. He wondered if he got away with his non-existent knowledge of anything around him because Lan Wangji was a foreigner, or if he simply just let him.
It wasn’t until the horizon started changing colour that Wei Wuxian realised just how long they’d been staying out.
Wei Wuxian stopped in his tracks. “Ah…”
Lan Wangji, who seemed to know exactly what he was thinking—well, hopefully, he wasn’t thinking oh shit, better get back to my coffin before the sun burns me alive—said, “It is getting late, would you like me to follow you home?”
Wei Wuxian would like him to accompany him home and preferably stay forever. They could share his coffin. It would be quite intimate.
“I would love you to,” Wei Wuxian said instead. “It’s…”
He paused, as he realised he had no clue where they were or how he was going to get home.
“What is the address,” Lan Wangji said, and if Wei Wuxian didn’t know any better, he would suspect him of mind-reading.
“Ahahahaha,” Wei Wuxian laughed awkwardly. “St. James Church?”
Lan Wangji typed something in on his fellytone. Then he held out his arm again, and Wei Wuxian wasted no time grabbing hold of it.
“It’s an hour walk,” he said eventually.
Oh dear, that would be a close call. Too close for Wei Wuxian’s comfort. “Is there… any way of getting there faster?”
“Mn. I will call a ‘cab’.”
“A what, now.”
Lan Wangji pointed at a black car driving past them.
“One-one of those?” Wei Wuxian stuttered. He had seen a car before, of course—because the roaring monsters on the road were undoubtedly cars—but they were going so fast! Too fast!
“It is the fastest way of getting you home.”
“Will you be coming with me?” he said before he could think any better of it—curse his lack of brain-to-mouth filter!—and if he still had blood in his veins, he would most certainly have turned beet red. (A part of him wouldn’t have minded if Lan Wangji took it the wrong way, thought—)
Lan Wangji, bless him, understood. “I promised to follow you home.”
Relief flooded through him. One would think that after all these years, with all the things he had seen and experienced, not to mention being near impossible to kill, he’d manage a simple car ride. He was the infamous Yiling Patriarch, for crying out loud, still feared by children in all of China!
(Lan Wangji didn’t mention it when he clung to his arm through the entire ride.)
It was only when they stepped out of the car, feeling lightheaded and unsteady on his feet, that Wei Wuxian realised he still hadn’t drunk anything that day. He’d had so much fun with Lan Wangji, he completely forgot! He looked up at Lan Wangji, who kept a strong arm under his own, as to not let him fall.
No, he couldn’t possibly—
It would be such a shame to mar his perfect skin.
His eyes landed on Lan Wangji’s carotid artery by pure instinct. A little taste, maybe. Just to still the worst of his thirst—
The longer he stared at it, though, the more confused he became. Something was off. It… wasn’t moving. No pulse. No smell. Nothing.
“But you’re so warm!” Wei Wuxian blurted.
Lan Wangji blinked.
“You don’t have a heartbeat, but you’re warm!”
Colour drained from Lan Wangji’s face—Wei Wuxian was too preoccupied to even consider how that was physiologically possible—and his grip on Wei Wuxian’s arm faltered. Wei Wuxian took his hands in his own instead, his grip so low he was practically holding them around Lan Wangji’s wrists. They were also warm, but he couldn’t feel anything under his skin.
“What are you?”
Lan Wangji didn’t make any move to respond for a solid 30 seconds. Then he said, his face perfectly serious, “I’m not from this solar system.”
Wei Wuxian stared at him, dumbfounded. Was that some twenty-first century humour he wasn’t privy to?? Whatever message he had tried to convey, it went over Wei Wuxian’s head.
“Is that a funny way of saying you’re not human?”
“I am not human,” Lan Wangji echoed.
Wei Wuxian felt like his brain might short circuit. “But—I’m not human either! Where does that leave us!”
Lan Wangji’s mouth opened just the tiniest bit. After having spent a day with him, Wei Wuxian was certain this was as close to a jaw-drop Lan Wangji would ever get. Oh. So he hadn’t noticed either.
Everything made sense now. The way he interacted with the world was even more awkward than Wei Wuxian! And he had spent the last 80 years in a coffin!
He should have realised. Just the lack of smell of blood alone should have set him off. No wonder hadn’t been thirsting over him! (Well, not in the literal sense, anyway.)
It was a shame, honestly; he was certain Lan Wangji would taste amazing. Then again, there were other ways to taste someone—
Nope, not the time!
And to make everything worse, dawn was threatening him with its presence. Wei Wuxian shifted his grip on Lan Wangji’s wrists so that they were holding hands.
“Will I see you again?” he pleaded. “How do I contact you?”
This time, Lan Wangji didn’t hesitate to answer. “I will give you the number to my communication device.”
Wei Wuxian felt relief flood through him. He hadn’t ruined everything with his big mouth! He might actually have sat down to cry if he knew this was the last time he would see Lan Wangji’s inhumanly beautiful face.
They stared at each other for a moment, Wei Wuxian marvelling over Lan Wangji’s everything.
“I need my hands to give you the number,” Lan Wangji said eventually.
“Ah!” He let go of his hands as if he’d been burnt. “Sorry!”
“Don’t apologise,” he said as he pulled out a stick and some yellow paper, and wrote a string of numbers on it. He gave it to Wei Wuxian, who pressed it tightly to his chest.
“I have to go,” he said, but he didn’t move from his spot.
“I will wait for you,” Lan Wangji said.
At that moment, it felt like they had known each other for centuries, and Wei Wuxian could easily imagine another century with him.
Mournfully, he stepped away from him. He felt like a maiden in those 1800s plays he used to love, reluctant to part from her secret lover. If he hadn’t been so overwhelmed by the happiness he felt about holding the ticket to seeing Lan Wangji again in his hands, he might even have felt embarrassed about it.
But the sun was on the brink of the horizon, and all good things had to come to an end. Ripping off the bandage, he turned away and hurried up the church steps. He cast one final glance at Lan Wangji before shutting the door between them.
Before stepping into his coffin, he quickly made a communication array, and shouted into it, “Jiang Cheng! I need a fellytone!”