Work Text:
Wolf: *Sits down on a chair.*
Therapist: "Welcome Wolf. Have you had a good morning?"
Wolf: "It was a good morning until I got here."
Therapist: *Sighs.* 'Oh boy...'
~~~
Hugo: *Is stuck in the door.* "Excuse me, madame? I would appreciate some help, this door is terribly small for somebody like me."
Therapist: "Yeah, we usually don't have such big clients here."
Hugo: "Excuse me? Are you saying that I'm fat? I'd like to inform you that I do yoga!"
Therapist: "I didn't call you fat, sir. You're just... Bigger than the average human."
Hugo: *Scoffs.* "Well, that one way to say it.."
Therapist: "To start this session, could you please tell me your name? I don't believe you've told me."
Hugo: *Stares at the curtains.*
Therapist: "Ummm... Sir? Could you tell me your name?"
Hugo: "Those curtains are extremely awful looking, don't you have anything red?"
Therapist: *Smacks herself in her face*
~~~
Wolf: *Stares into the therapist's eyes.*
Therapist: *Stares back.*
Wolf: *Continues staring.*
Therapist: "Uhhh... I..."
Wolf: "Do you need to talk so much?"
Therapist: "Yeah? That's why we're in this room..."
Wolf: "But I don't want to talk to you."
Therapist: "We're going to talk about your problems."
Wolf: "But I don't even know you."
Therapist: "What?"
Wolf: "If you want to talk about yourself, just say that and I'll leave so you can torture someone else."
Therapist: "What do you mean? We're talking about your problems."
Wolf: "You're my problem, and I don't want to talk about you."
Therapist: *Questions life.*
~~~
Hugo: "That's a horrible hairstyle you chose, you know that?"
Therapist: "I think it's pretty, and we all have different opinions."
Hugo: "If Kipo hadn't destroyed my chance to be king, I would of banned that hairstyle from Las Vistas."
Therapist: "You were king?"
Hugo: *Too stunned to speak.*
~~~
Wolf: "That was very traumatic."
Therapist: "Is it traumatic to apologize to your friends?"
Wolf: "But I needed to admit that I was wrong!"
Therapist: "Yeah, you'll need to do that very often through out your whole life."
Wolf: "Why?"
Therapist: "Or else you won't go to heaven."
Wolf: "I lost my spot there long ago, don't worry."
Therapist: "What did you do?"
Wolf: *Tells her story about how she killed the wolves* "I mean, she did deserve it.."
Therapist: "Nobody deserves to be killed like that."
Wolf: "Some people do, and they end up as a pelt."
Therapist: *Makes an appointment for her own therapy session.*
~~~
Therapist: "So... Why did you become this.. Scarlemagne?"
Hugo: "Hmmm… Let me see…" *Takes a deep breath* "I was tortured in isolation as a child and betrayed by my family, so I became an evil tyrant and mind control led around a thousand humans and I was hurt, destroyed, and killed, and then a little girl gave me a hug and I became a good person."
Therapist: *Drops writing pad.*
~~~
Wolf: "And then she was stupid enough to betray me again, after that I had told her that she would end up as my pelt if she did just that!"
Therapist: "You seem pretty stressed about that. Do you need anything to fidget with?"
Wolf: "I'd like something to drink."
Therapist: *Stands up.* "Sure thing, what do you want to drink?"
Wolf: "Anything with much alcohol."
Therapist: *Sits back down.*
~~~
Hugo: "Could you change clothes?"
Therapist: "Why?"
Hugo: "I don't like them."
Therapist: "We are in the middle of our session and we'll spend it together and talk."
Hugo: "But it doesn't really fit your curves."
Therapist: *Smiles and blushes since she have never heard that she has curves.*
Hugo: *I mean your belly. Are you pregnant? "
Therapist: *Smiles disappears.*
~~~
Wolf: "I mean... I feel like people don't give me enough credit!"
Therapist: "Why do you feel that way?"
Wolf: "You know... It takes very much energy to not be a serial killer, and I pretty often want to be but then Kipo would kill me."
Therapist: *Clears her throat.* "Isn't Kipo your friend...?"
Wolf: "Yeah, that's why she would kill me."
Therapist: "Friends don't kill each other."
Wolf: "Say that to Margot."
Therapist: *Just stares.*
Wolf: "I TOLD YOU THEY DESERVED IT!"
~~~
Hugo: "I got really hurt when he did that..."
Therapist: "I understand that, I have been through something like that too."
Hugo: "Oh, that's sad.."
Therapist: *Smiles* "You really think so?"
Hugo: "No."
~~~
Wolf: "Do you ever feel the need to kill someone?"
Therapist: "No, I don't."
Wolf: "Why not? It feels really good when you have done it!"
Therapist: "How would you know."
Wolf: *Smirks* "I have killed many!"
Therapist: "How many?"
Wolf: "I dunno, I lost count after 547."
Therapist: "FIVE-HUNDRED-FO-"
~~~
Hugo: "When can I leave?"
Therapist: "Only ten minutes left, then you can go back home to your family."
Hugo: "I'm not going home to my family."
Therapist: "Huh? What are you going to do?"
Hugo: "Do my hobbies."
Therapist: *Smiles big* "You have a hobby? What is it?"
Hugo: "Yell at Gerard. It's fun to torture him."
Therapist: *Loses hope about life.*
~~~
Therapist: "Thank you for your time, Wolf. It'll be fun to see you next week."
Wolf: "Can't say the same about you."
~~~
Hugo: "Next time, could you please fix a red math for me, and maybe a few butlers that will do anything I say? And you need to dress up better!"
Therapist: "We'll see. I'll see you next week, Hugo." *Leads the mandrill out of the room.*
Hugo: "Please, call me King Hugo, the Grea-"
Therapist: *Slams the door shut in front of his face.*
Hugo: "How rude! I'd really appreciate if you could show me some respect!"
~~~
Wolf and Hugo: *Walks together to meet Kipo at the parking lot.*
Kipo: *Looks like she's about to murder someone.*
Wolf: "Are you finally a normal person? A bit late but that's okay."
Kipo: "I just got a call that the therapist jumped out of the window from the 4th floor! Explain yourself."
Wolf and Hugo: *Makes eyecontact.*
Hugo: "You said that we were going to talk with a therapist."
Wolf: "And so we did."
Kipo: "One."
Hugo: "Oh my lord..."
Kipo: "Two."
Wolf: "Okay fine." *Tells Kipo everything that she had told the therapist.*
Hugo: *Does the same.*
Kipo: *Too stunned to speak.*
Wolf: "I think we broke Kipo..."
Kipo: *Blinks and takes a very deep breath.* "I honestly would do the same if I were her."
Hugo: "Are we that horrible?" *Grins happily.*
Wolf: "That's amazing! Maybe this therapy-thingy isn't that bad after all!"
Kipo: *Gives up on her siblings.*
Wolf: "I can't wait for the next time!"
Hugo: "Agreed."