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“Sometimes family is you, your boyfriends, the feral beast that you can’t escape, and the FBI agents that saved you from a literal cult.”
Across the campfire, Nicky gaped in horror. “Why are you taking up Neil’s job of horrifying us with your past?”
Kevin shrugged. “Somebody’s gotta be the comedic relief around here.”
“I don’t know if you can consider it comedic relief to talk about your horrifying past,” hummed Aaron, one arm around Katelyn. “I mean, I’m no expert or anything, but that seems like the opposite of comedy.”
“I don’t know,” said Kevin, “Neil laughs at it.”
“Neil is psychotic.”
That was fair. Kevin nodded, throwing a stick into the campfire to pass the time. “Where are those two anyway? I didn’t think it would take this long to collect two campers from the Wood Scouts.” Kevin frowned. “I mean, what even goes on over there? Like, at first they seemed like major adversaries but now, they’re… what, our friends? Frenemies?”
“Boyfriends?” Aaron rolled his eyes. “Maybe you’re just getting attached because you’re dating two of them.”
A goofy grin came over Kevin’s features. Aaron cringed, turning his attention back to Katelyn. “You see the shit I have to deal with?”
“Leave him alone,” scoffed Katelyn, “he’s happy. Given what I’ve heard just tonight about his past, that’s a goddamn miracle.”
“Yeah, that’s fair,” added Nicky, “we always talk about Neil’s tragic backstory but I feel like we neglect Kevin a little bit. Not cool, my guys.”
“Nicky, I already have two boyfriends, I don’t need another one.” Kevin leaned forward to look him in the eyes, frowning. “Sorry.”
Nicky pouted. “Why does everyone get to be cute and gay except me?”
“I’m not gay,” said Aaron, then turned to Katelyn. “I’m not gay, right?”
“Well… You’re definitely in a straight relationship,” she said, patting at his chest comfortingly in the hopes that he wouldn’t realise she hadn’t really answered his question. He nuzzled into her hair so she thought it probably worked.
Behind them all, there was the sound of a twig snapping. They all went silent, which was the only reason they could hear it when Neil giggled quietly.
“Neil, shh,” hissed Andrew, “I thought you wanted to scare them.”
“I do,” replied Neil, “they’re gonna be so freaked out, they’ll literally piss their pants.”
Andrew sighed. “Neil, nobody wants a repeat of the lake incident.”
A shudder travelled around the campfire.
“What’s the lake incident?” The familiar voice of Jeremy Knox joined the conversation. “And why does it involve pissing their pants?”
“Oh, Jeremy,” said Andrew, “I have so many stories to tell you about your sweet little boyfriend-!”
“Jeremy!” Kevin leapt to his feet, running through the bushes to throw himself first at Jeremy, who was walking up front with Neil, and then Jean, who seemed to be doing his best to hide at the back. In the wake of the distraction, Andrew took Neil’s hand and pulled him into his side.
“You’re late,” chirped Aaron as they stepped through into the clearing.
Neil shrugged. “We got Nicky a present.”
“I do not know how I feel about being referred to in such a way,” called an unfamiliar accented voice. “It feels quite objectifying.”
Kevin tugged his boyfriends through into the clearing, one hand clasping each of theirs. Behind them, there was another rustle, then a blonde haired boy came through too.
“Hello,” he said in greeting, “my name is Erik. I have been told you make you aware that I am gay and available.”
Nicky’s jaw dropped. “Oh, wow, you’re so fucking pretty.” He winced. “I mean… handsome. Beautiful? Hot? Oh god, I’ve forgotten how to speak.”
“I mean, you weren’t that great at it anyway,” shrugged Andrew. “Erik, this is Nicky. He, too, is gay and available.”
“I am,” confirmed Nicky.
Erik immediately sat down next to Nicky. “You are very pretty too.”
Nicky blushed bright red. In the background, Andrew and Neil high-fived discreetly (by which I mean it was obvious to everyone except for the pair who had now resorted to just staring into each other’s eyes).
“Haha,” said Nicky eventually, “nice.”
“Oh my god,” whispered Aaron, though the whispering was really too loud to be considered actual whispering. “This is a trainwreck.”
“You’re welcome,” said Andrew. “If there was popcorn anywhere on this god forsaken island, I would have brought it.”
“I thought Erik was a present for Nicky,” said Jeremy with a frown, in between laying kisses all over both Kevin and Jean’s faces.
“Yeah, I guess,” huffed Andrew. “But also, free entertainment. That doesn’t come at the expense of my favourite.”
“Who’s your favourite?”
The clearing fell silent as everyone sent Jeremy their best looks of disbelief and horror. Everyone, that is, except for Andrew, who had eyes only for Neil, and Neil who looked rather starry-eyed as he stared back at Andrew.
“I’m your favourite?” He blinked a few times. “Aw. That’s so sweet. You’re my favourite too!”
Katelyn sighed loudly. “We’ve been dating for way longer than they have,” she said, nudging at Aaron’s side with her elbow, “and they’re so much cuter than we are. I blame you. You could say I’m your favourite.”
“Wha-You are my favourite, Katelyn!” Aaron wrapped his arms around her torso, hugging her closer to mimic Jeremy’s earlier actions, laying kisses all over her face, wherever he could reach. The small smile on her face told the others that she knew exactly what she’d done.
Unfortunately, the two she most wanted to reach with her statement were wholly unbothered. Andrew had a hand on Neil’s thigh and was squeezing it periodically, satisfying the animalistic voice in his brain that said “squishy” over and over again. His other hand was tangled with Neil’s far hand, putting the two of them in a strange position that had them both facing each other and sat side by side, curled into each other’s space as much as possible. Andrew looked between Neil’s thigh where he was squeezing it and his beautiful, blue eyes. In the firelight, they seemed to twinkle. He liked that.
“Do you think they remember that the rest of us are here?” Jean eyed the pair suspiciously. “They brought us here, didn’t they?”
“Yep,” sighed Kevin. “But this is actually pretty par for the course.”
“Yeah, they spend most of their time like this,” confirmed Nicky, unconsciously nudging closer to Erik. “Makes the rest of us feel pathetically single.”
“Nope,” shrugged Kevin, burrowing into both of his boyfriends.
“Nuh uh,” added Aaron, tightening his grip on Katelyn and laying even more kisses across her face, trying to catch each freckle with a kiss.
“Plus Dan and Matt are dating,” added Kevin. “And Allison and Seth and Renee have their weird thing going on. So…”
“Wait…” Neil pulled away from Andrew, turning to face Kevin. “What weird thing do Allison and Seth and Renee have going on?”
“Oh, you know,” said Kevin vaguely, which didn’t answer a single one of Neil’s questions. He would have asked again, but Andrew tugged at their intertwined hands and brought his attention back to more important things (Andrew’s face).
“Well,” said Erik slowly, “you don’t have to feel so – how did you say it? Pathetically single?”
“I…” Nicky turned bright red. Redder, even, than Neil’s hair, which was quite frankly miraculous. “That… You… pretty…”
“Oh god,” Aaron finally pulled away from Katelyn, “how is he still this bad at it?”
“Ah, well, you know what they say,” sighed Katelyn dramatically, “love makes fools of us all.”
As though to prove her point, Neil leaned too far forward and fell off of the log that he and Andrew were sat on. Andrew sighed – it was unclear whether it was a sigh of distain or a sigh of love. Either way, he sighed, and Neil seemed to mimic him, looking up at him with starry eyes yet again.
“That would explain so many things about Neil,” said Aaron slowly.
“Hey!”