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Alex and Morgan are booing the hero fight on TV when Morgan's phone rings, playing 'Who Let the Dogs Out.' They pull it out to see the contact name, a single dog emoji. Barnaby.
They answer. "Hello?"
"Hey, I-I-I-I don't have anyone else to ask, but can I c-c-cr-crash on your couch for a few days?" Barnaby sounds stressed.
Morgan gestures at Alex to mute the TV and they do so.
"Uh yeah, sure. Did something happen?" Morgan can't think of why he's asking, if anything important broke Morgan knew they were fully capable of fixing it himself.
"My apartment burnt-burnt down."
"It WHAT?!" Morgan sits up so fast they nearly throw themselves off the couch.
"What? What happened?" Alex asks, scooting forward to perch on the edge or the couch with Morgan.
"Their place burnt down!"
"What?! Put it on speaker!"
Morgan puts their phone on speaker and sets it on the table. "Barnaby you're on speaker, what happened?! Did you leave a candle out?"
"No, someone-someone set it on fire."
"WHAT?!" Morgan and Alex yell.
"Do you know who?" Morgan asks.
"I'll go kill them," Alex says.
"No I don't know— don't kill them."
Alex grumbles something along the lines of 'you can't stop me.'
Barnaby continues, "I thought it w-w-was faulty wiring until the police found evidence of arson."
Morgan's stunned. Who would do this to Barnaby?! It was way above D tier levels of crime. A quick look at Alex says they're thinking the same.
"I-I understand if you can't have me, I can-can-can get a hotel room—"
Morgan interrupts. "Absolutely not, someone is after you, you're coming here where you'll be safe. Where are you? I'll come pick you up."
"I got it," Alex says, snapping his fingers.
Barnaby and Kotetsu appear in the middle of the living room, both startled by the sudden teleportation.
"Alex you can't just teleport people without warning," Morgan reprehends.
"I gave him a warning, I said 'I got it!'"
Morgan shakes their head and hangs up the phone, getting up to check on Barnaby. They give him a once over to see that he's okay, then rests a hand on his cheek. "You okay?"
Barnaby leans into the touch. "Yeah, I w-w-w-wasn't home when it happened. T-thanks for letting me stay on your couch."
"Couch?" Morgan questions. "No, you're getting my bed. I'm not letting you sleep on the couch after the day you've had."
"Does this mean I'm moving back to the guest room?" Alex questions.
"Unless you wanna sleep with Barnaby," Morgan says, and Alex accepts being moved.
"What about y-y-y-you?" Barnaby asks Morgan.
"I can sleep with either of you, it depends on if you want to be alone tonight."
"Not-not-not really." He admits.
"Then I'll stay with you tonight."
"How come I don't get special treatment when my place gets destroyed?" Alex asks.
"Your lairs get blown up all the time, and you don't actually care about it," Morgan answers.
"Fair," Alex takes a moment to say, unable to think of an argument.
"Here, let me go get you something to wear as pajamas, I have one of your hoodies," Morgan says before leaving the room.
Barnaby and Alex watch them go, then look at each other, which turns into a sort of staring contest. Barnaby shifts his weight awkwardly, and Alex holds perfectly still. Barnaby fidgets with his hands and Alex continues to stare him down.
To his credit, Barnaby doesn't look away before Morgan comes back.
"Okay, here you go." Morgan hands Barnaby a bundle of clothes. "I actually don't know if you want to go to sleep yet, so you probably don't need these but. Yeah."
Barnaby takes the bundle. "No, I do. I-i-it's already pretty late…"
"Okay. You go ahead, I'll be there eventually, gonna see if I can gather any leads on who did this first," Morgan says.
"You better sleep," Alex says threateningly, overlapping Barnaby who says "don't stay up too late."
"I will go to sleep," Morgan promises, getting out their laptop.
Barnaby leaves to go sleep, and with nothing better to do, Alex does the same shortly after.
Barnaby is brought to the edge of consciousness by the bed dipping under new weight. He's confused until he remembers where he is, and that the weight is just Morgan going to bed. Morgan snuggles up to him, throws their arm over his waist, and lets out a content, sleepy sigh. He drifts back off.
When he wakes up again, it's to a brief flash across his eyelids, followed by a quiet, "shit."
The lights are then turned onto a dim lighting, and a moment after that, more softly spoken words. "Ha, got it."
Barnaby blearily opens his eyes and props himself up on his elbows to investigate. Someone is standing in the doorway. It's hard to see without his glasses, but it looks like the culprit is Morgan.
The blurry Morgan is smiling at something on their phone, until they notice him and look guilty. "No, no no go back go to sleep."
"Wha…?" This didn't make sense, Morgan couldn't be over there, their arm was still draped over him. He looks at the owner of the arm and sees Alex, who's starting to stir.
Alex opens their eyes and immediately locks eyes with Barnaby. There's a few seconds of surprised eye contact before both parties launch themselves backwards, away from the other. Alex falls off the bed and Barnaby is saved from the same fate by Kotetsu, who was laying on the edge of the mattress. Morgan bursts out laughing.
"W-w-what was that?" Barnaby asks in a high voice.
"I thought you were Morgan," Alex whines from the floor. "I forgot you were here, I woke up and wanted Morgan and was half asleep when I came in here."
Morgan is laughing so hard no noise is coming out, braced against the door frame.
"M-m-m-morgan!" Barnaby squeaks.
"Sorry," they wheeze, sliding down to the floor. "Its- I just-" They collapse into more laughter.
Alex decides to save themselves from the situation and gets up and leaves the room, poorly trying to hide their embarrassment.
"Nooo," Morgan says through laughter, weakly reaching after them. "I'm sorry." They don't sound particularly apologetic.
"Can you breathe?" Barnaby asks worriedly.
Morgan nods, tears in their eyes from laughing too hard, and holds up their phone. "I got a picture."
The next morning, Barnaby wakes before Morgan. (He checks that it actually is Morgan this time.) There's the smell of something good cooking, and he goes to investigate, Kotetsu following. In the kitchen he finds Alex wearing a 'kiss the cook' apron. The apron catches Barnaby's eye, as everything but the 'ki' in kiss is crossed out, with two Ls written above it so that the apron simply reads 'kill.'
"Hope you like pancakes, cause that's what I'm making," Alex says in lieu of a greeting.
"You c-c-can cook?" It wasn't something they expected of them.
"Yeah, my mom taught me." Alex flips a pancake in the air, catching it on the spatula.
That's also unexpected. "You have a mom?"
Alex spares Barnaby a look. "Are you one of those people who think I crawled directly out of hell?"
"No…" Barnaby says reluctantly.
"Well I'm not. I'm completely human with a very happy childhood."
"R-right."
Morgan enters the scene then, looking dead.
Alex and Barnaby both say morning to them, and get a very zombie-esque moan in return.
"Oh, wait til you see what they're about to make," Alex says to Barnaby when Morgan starts digging through the fridge.
"Do y-y-you mean the 'blood of their enemies' drink?"
"Yes! Isn't it gross?"
Morgan sets their ingredients on the table and makes a sound that would probably be an argument if it was English, or any language at all.
"It's… It's pretty bad," Barnaby replies, watching Morgan upend a can of redbull into a mug of chocolate milk.
Morgan gives them both a death glare, adds the espresso, mixes it and takes a sip. They come to life and sigh contently, then resumes giving them dirty looks. "Fuck off, both of you."
After breakfast Morgan leaves the apartment to check some of their leads, and Alex also leaves to start their own investigation, not that they tell Barnaby that's what they're doing. Leaving Barnaby alone to deal with the incredibly painful progress of calling his insurance.
Morgan comes home with a stack of photos of suspects and goes through them with Barnaby. Each suspect is removed one by one and Alex chimes in when they spot one they killed just earlier that day, much to Barnaby's horror.
The next day produces a new stack of photos, and similar results.
"Oh that guy? Yeah I stuck my hand down his throat and ripped out—" Alex is interrupted by Morgan and Barnaby quickly telling them to stop, disgusted.
Morgan tossed the picture over their shoulder. "I don't get it. It's not any of your enemies, it's not any of my enemies, I don't think you'd have crossed the mind of any of Alex's enemies. Who the fuck is it?"
"It's probably Rex," Alex says.
"It's not Rex, man's barely shown up to poker recently he's so cautious," Morgan counters.
"Maybe I w-w-was picked at random," Barnaby mumbles.
Morgan slams their hands down on the table so hard it startles Barnaby. "The arsonists! I skipped the arsonists!" They grab their jacket off the back of the chair and their keys.
"Where are you going?" Alex asks, sitting up to look at them over the edge of the sofa.
"Left my laptop with my minions! Need to hack the police database! Love you, bye!" Morgan slams the front door shut behind them.
Alex sighs and lets themselves fall back into a lying position. "Five dollars says they get to their laptop and forget to come home until 4 am."
"I don't w-w-w-want to lose five dollars."
"C'mon, they could come back at 3," Alex argues.
"No, and-and-and stop killing people for me!" Barnaby was still thinking about that poor throat guy.
"Mhm, can't. You're on my must-protect list."
Barnaby gets up from the table and rounds the couch to properly look at Alex. He's wearing Alex's clothes, since no one has gone out to buy him new ones yet. "I'm on the must protect list?" The disbelief is clear in his voice.
"Don't get any ideas, if you died Kotetsu would vanish, that's all."
"Who else is-is-is on the list?" He asks.
"Just my dad and Morgan. Hey, wipe that smile off your face, I just said not to get any ideas."
Barnaby tries and fails to stop the smile making its way across his face. Alex doesn't think he's ever smiled at them before, not genuinely like he is now, not like that. With him standing in front of them, in their clothes with that smile, it makes Alex's heart warm.
Shit . Not again.
Barnaby sees the change on Alex's face and not knowing what it is, plays it safe and goes back to his seat.
Alex silently struggles with their realization. They can not handle having a crush again, it was bad enough the first time. Maybe they'll luck out and it'll be a smaller crush. Either way they’re locking that shit up tight and burying it deep before it gets worse.
They hear Barnaby whispering to Kotetsu, and then the sound of paws crossing the floor. Kotetsu appears by Alex's side, and nudges their hand with his nose. Alex sucks in a breath and carefully lifts their hand, and slowly places it on Kotetsu's head. When it doesn't pass through him Alex grins, feeling honored, and pets him, scratching behind his ears. In no time at all they're on the floor giving belly rubs, Kotetsu's tail wagging so hard each thump of it against the floor is heard clearly by the downstairs neighbors.
They're so focused on finally getting to pet the bestest boy they nearly miss the sound of glass shattering.
"What was that?" They ask, stopping the belly rubs. Kotetsu woofs gently in protest.
"Don't know," Barnaby says, getting up to investigate. He heads down the hall and out of sight towards the bedrooms. There's the sound of a door opening, and then it slamming closed.
He runs back into the room, saying " fire ," as he makes for the fire extinguisher.
In a flash Alex is up and opening the door to the guest room to see the fire dead center. In a snap they put it out, then spot the busted window. They teleport outside and do a sweep of the alley but find no one. They teleport back into the freshly extinguished bedroom. The room is mostly intact, minus the bed, which seemingly is the only thing that caught fire. The sheets are blackened and burnt through in spots, where the fire made contact with the mattress.
Barnaby is already investigating, crouched by the corner of the bed. The leg of the bed is partially burned away, and glass lays by it.
Barnaby looks up at Alex. "I don't think my place was randomly chosen."
"I want to kill someone so bad right now. What did they even throw in here?!" Alex questions, looking back at the window.
"M-m-molotov cocktail," Barnaby answers. "Not much else it c-could've been."
Alex groans then notices Barnaby giving them an expectant look. "What?"
"Aren't y-y-you going to fix it?"
Alex shakes their head. "No, Morgan doesn't like when I do that. And speaking of, I should call them." They get out their phone to do so, but stop when Kotetsu barks.
They both look up to see the dog in the open doorway, and when he has both of their attention he bounds over, bumping the burnt bed leg on his way. There's a loud splintering sound, and the leg breaks, tipping the whole bed at an angle.
"That's salvageable, right?" Alex asks, looking at Barnaby.
"M-maybe…"
The bed disagrees with that assessment, and the sheets give into their injuries and go from being one piece of fabric to two, and slides to the floor.
“Let’s go before any-any-anything else breaks,” Barnaby says, and they both leave the room.
Alex then calls Morgan, who picks up at the last second.
“Totally didn’t get distracted, and am on my way home,” Morgan says instead of hello.
“Mhm. Actually, there’s been a bit of a development.” Alex glances into the guestroom at the ruined bed.
“Yeah?”
“The guest bed is broken.”
“What?”
“It was damaged but would’ve been fine if Barnaby hadn’t made it worse.” Alex refuses to blame Kotetsu.
“I-I-I didn't do it!” Barnaby protests.
“Barnaby broke it?”
“Technically yes,” Alex answers.
“D-don’t make me t-t-take the phone,” Barnaby weakly threatens.
“He broke the guest bed in the guest room despite him staying in my room?” Morgan clarifies.
“Eh,” Alex says. They should probably clarify. Especially if they want to get to pet Kotetsu again. With the way Barnaby is currently hugging the dog and glaring at Alex, it’s not looking good.
Morgan doesn’t say anything for a moment, then says; “Did you and Barnaby break the bed?”
“What? No! I didn’t have anything to do with it, someone threw a Molotov cocktail through the window!” Alex defends.
There's a much longer pause. “Alex, please lead with that next time, I thought… Doesn’t matter. But this means Barnaby- or one of us- is being targeted, it's not random.”
“Looks like it.”
Morgan groans. “Great, now I have to go through the list again. God damn it, why do we have so many enemies?”
Alex knows they’re not really asking so they don’t answer. “Do you want me to fix the bed?”
“Actually not fixing it gives me the perfect excuse to start planning that mattress warehouse heist I’ve been wanting to do.”
“Okay, but then where’s everyone sleeping?” Alex asks.
“We can talk more about it when I get back, but we can share my bed, I’ll just sleep in the middle,” Morgan suggests.
Alex glances down at Barnaby, who looks up at him with curious eyes. Alex quickly looks away.
They do end up sharing the bed, Morgan squished in the middle. (Alex and Barnaby had refused to go to bed until Morgan did.) Barnaby is first up, and he takes a moment to watch the other two sleep before scurrying off to the bathroom. Once everyone is up and ready, Morgan takes Barnaby out to buy new clothes. And at the end of the day, after going over the potential suspects again, they all sit down to watch a movie.
Morgan is leaning against Alex, with their head on their shoulder, with Barnaby lying down with his head in Morgan’s lap. Kotetsu is camped out in front of the couch, uncaring that he is in prime ‘accidentally get stepped on’ territory. The trio silently agree to simply not get up until he moves.
They’re halfway into the movie when Barnaby feels Morgan shift more towards Alex and mumble something too low for him to hear. He suspects Morgan is trying to get some attention, and the suspension is confirmed when he hears a peck. Then another, and then it turns into lazy kissing.
There's an odd stirring in Barnaby’s chest. It’s not jealousy, they can eliminate that one right of the bat. He’s not uncomfortable either, Morgan’s kissed them both in front of the other the last few days. Maybe it’s because he’s never been this close to the kissing? No. He wants to be a part of it. But that doesn’t make sense, they are a part of it. They could reach up and kiss Morgan right now, and then Alex-
Barnaby tenses and his face heats. He wants to kiss Alex. He wants to kiss the mass murderer. Oh god, what does he do?
Morgan soothes his hair back and scratches the base of his skull, and he relaxes slowly. It’ll be fine. He’ll keep it to himself for now, and if the feeling is still there once he’s got a new place and lived there a few days, he’ll bring it up with Morgan. He will, he swears.
Despite having organized his thoughts, they have trouble sleeping that night. Morgan had gotten up when they thought both their partners were asleep. (They had been strong-armed into bed again.) Which left Barnaby to lay there and listen to Alex breath until they returned.
When he finally does fall asleep, it feels like seconds have passed before he's woken up by Alex getting out of bed, followed closely by Morgan. He tries to go back to sleep, and when that fails gets up and shuffles to the kitchen.
Morgan is standing with both hands braced on the counter, leaning over the coffee pot and giving it a death glare as it brews. Alex is past them getting ready to start breakfast, much more awake than Morgan but not fully. Barnaby drags himself into the kitchen, giving Morgan a good morning kiss as he passes, and then when he passes Alex he gives them one as well.
That wakes everyone up.
“I-I-I-I’m so s-s-sorry,” he apologizes, face bright red and eyes wide.
Alex’s expression mirrors his. “N-no, it’s okay.”
Barnaby doesn’t know what to do, and clearly neither does Alex, and they stand there staring at each other.
Morgan slowly leans around Barnaby. “Was that just an accidentally half-awake mistake, or…” They drag out the last word.
Barnaby looks at Morgan, desperate for rescue. “O-or?”
Morgan taps their finger tips together several times in a triangle shape.
Alex flushes darker, and Barnaby gives Morgan a confused look. “What d-d-does that mean?”
“Do you want to close our triangle? We all date each other instead of me dating both of you?” Morgan asks.
Barnaby looks back and forth between them, not sure how to answer.
Morgan looks to Alex. “What about you?”
Alex quickly looks away, mouth firmly shut.
Morgan lets out a tired sigh. “This is why I made the first move with both of you. How about this; last night I found out who our little arsonist friend is, but I’ll only tell you if you talk about your feelings.”
“Why didn’t you tell us when you found out?!” Alex asks.
“You can’t d-d-d-do t-that,” Barnaby says.
“But I am, and cause you were sleeping. Now, I am too tired for this, so, communicate.”
Barnaby and Alex look from Morgan to each other then back, and Barnaby takes a breath to steady himself. He angles himself away so he can’t see Alex’s reaction.
“I-I-I had t-trouble sleeping last night be-be-because I couldn't stop thinking a-a-about it,” they admit.
“Oh thank fuck,” Alex breaths behind him.
He turns back cautiously and sees Alex smiling at him. “I thought I was about to be pinning for a couple years again.”
Morgan makes a quiet side comment. “Should’ve said something sooner.”
Alex takes a hesitant step forward, hand outstretched. “Can I?”
Barnaby nods, hopefully not too eagerly, and Alex gently cups the back of his head and kisses him. It’s not what Barnaby expected, though they couldn’t say what they were expecting. Alex kisses him like something to be treasured.
Morgan coos at them, then slides away when the coffee machine beeps and pours themselves their long awaited cup of coffee.
Alex pulls away and smiles softly, gingerly intertwining their hands before glancing at Morgan. “So who’s our arsonist?”
Morgan takes a long sip of their drink. “He’s the brother of someone Barnaby sent to jail. Didn’t have a record before this, just wanted revenge. After he threw the Molotov through the window he saw you looking for him and realized he was in way over his head. Don’t know how he found out Barnaby was here but not you too. Regardless, he panicked and turned himself in afterwards. I found the police report.”
“The p-police didn’t tell me they caught him.” Barnaby’s brow furrows.
“That's cause they’re the police, and they’re stupid, and they don’t tell anyone anything,” Morgan says.
“What’s his name?” Alex asks, voice suddenly dark.
“Don’t kill him,” Barnaby says.
“What- but he burnt your place down, he was trying to get you-” Alex argues.
“If-if-if we’re going to date, you can’t k-kill anyone for me.” Barnaby’s voice is firm.
Alex sags in defeat. “Fine, I won’t kill anyone for you anymore.”
“T-th-thank you.” Barnaby kisses Alex on the nose.
Alex flusters and looks down at their feet.
Morgan grins. “Isn’t flustering him fun?”
“A l-little bit,” Barnaby replies, grinning slightly.
“I like this development,” Morgan says. “I like it a lot.”