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CW: Some talk of self hate, stay safe<3
Puffy knew her son. She knew the food he would never eat, the movies he watched when he needed comfort, and what friends would always be at the top of his list when it came to birthday party invites. She knew him better than she knew herself, until she didn't.
Puffy knew her son was insecure.
Dream liked to play around with his best friend Sapnap. Cashing each other with their wooden swords through the forest in their backyard. Though one day, while Puffy was making lunch for the boys, Dream came rushing in the house, without his friend.
"Hey, Duckling! What's the matter? Where's Sapnap?" Dream didn't answer, hiding his face with his hood. Puffy didn't pester him but was sure to message Bad to make sure that Sapnap got home safely. He did and Bad had explained that Sapnap said that while playing, dream had gotten hurt so he ran inside and Sap just decided to walk home. Puffy thanked Bad and went to go talk to Dream.
Dream kept his door locked and didn't open it no matter how much Puffy had asked him to, so she left him alone.
She realized his insecurity when Dream had come out from his room with a paper plate attached to a string tied around his head. He got his glass of water he came out for and began to return upstairs before Puffy stopped him, turning him around with a hand on his shoulder.
"Dream? What's this for?" She asked, tapping on the makeshift mask. Dream stayed quiet. After a minute, Puffy was about to let him go off when Dream lifted his hands to his mask and removed it from his face. Puffy looks in shock at the large scar over Dream's face.
"Dream-"
"I didn't want you to think I was ugly." Puffy's heart broke. She brought her son into her chest and hugged him tight. Dream was frozen from the shock but quickly hugged her back.
"Duckling, a little scar isn't gonna make you ugly. I could never look at your face and think it was ugly. You are the most beautiful boy I have ever seen, I mean, come on, I'm your mother, you're gonna have some good genetics." That made a laugh rise from Dream. He smiled softly and thanked her, hugging her once more.
"Are you gonna make me keep it off? The mask I mean?" Dream asks suddenly, realizing from the hug.
"Only if you're comfortable, Hun."
"Okay. I don't want George to see it and think I lost to Sapnap of all people."
"George?"
--
Puffy eventually knew of her son's little crush on the pretty brown haired boy.
A Father by the name of Sam had just moved in across the street with his three adopted children, Alex, Hannah and the infamous George, Puffy had heard so much about. Apparently one day when Dream had went to Sapnap, the boy had introduce the blond to the sweet british boy, and the two hit it off immediately.
Puffy came to terms with her son's feelings when he came rushing through the door one day, a few years after the scar incident, quickly removing his smiley mask- they had added the smile to ‘make it more welcoming’- before turning to his mother.
“Mom! Do you know where I can find blue flowers as soon as possible?!”
“Nice to see you too. What’s with the sudden interest? Weren't you just at Sapnap’s?”
“Yes, but I have no time to explain! I need them now and get back there before dinner!”
“Okay, okay. We can go check out Niki’s shop if you would like.”
“Yes! That works!” The boy shouted before reattaching his mask and rushing out the door. Puffy quickly threw on her boots and went to catch up with her son.
They made it Niki’s shop and Dream ran inside looking for the perfect plant. Eventually, he found a small bouquet of cornflowers that were a gorgeous shade of blue. He quickly brought them back to his mother, who was having a conversation with her friend, the owner of the very flower shop.
“These are perfect. I need them. Please!”
“Alrighty then.” Puffy ruffled the top of her son’s hair before turning to pay Niki for the flowers. Once the transaction was finished, Puffy began walking back to Sapnap’s with Dream.
“Actually, we have to stop at George’s so he can walk with us.” Dream mentioned, stopping in his tracks.
“Oh alright. We can stop on our way then.” Puffy could tell a large smile grew on Dream’s face under the mask as he turned and continued in the direction of his friends. Puffy had a minute to think about what her son would need specifically blue flowers for. But seeing him light up at remembering to stop at George’s, put a memory into her head.
George was colourblind.
Dream had a full rant about it when he got home from one of his ‘playdates’ with the boy.
“He can only see blue!” Dream had said. “He says that my green hoodie looks to him like how I would see yellow! Isn’t that cool!” He had the biggest smile every time he mentioned his little ‘friend’.
“Dream?”
“Hm?” Dream reacts.
“The flowers. Do you think George will like them?” He stops. And turns to Puffy. She can almost see the shocked look on his face.
“Wha- they’re not- how did you- what?!”
Puffy just chuckles at her son's flustered state as she found out about his little gift. “Just wondering. I think he’ll like them a lot.” She smirks and continues walking. The young teen following, still confused and in shock.
She was right.
Once Dream cooled down and had caught up to puffy, they showed up at George’s. Dream knocking on the front door as Puffy watched from the sidewalk. The brown haired boy opened the door beaming at the sight of his friend. Dream pulled out the flowers from behind his back, handing them to George and the boy took them with a big smile on his face, jumping into the blond for a hug.
George turns back into his house when Sam comes down the stairs. George hands the flowers off to his dad and the two boys run off in the direction of Sapnap’s place, giving a wave to Puffy on their way.
She smiles to herself, having a feeling that her son’s feelings were reciprocated.
--
Puffy Knew that her son was competitive and quick to anger.
A few years later, Dream wanted to go into a sparring class so he could perfect his fighting skills. Puffy tried to teach him as much as she could, but she had quit fighting out at sea when Dream was born, so she was a bit rusty. Also, the skill set that Dream was aiming for was much different to the one Puffy possessed. So she agreed to let him into Philza’s training camp for a summer, knowing that Phil was well enough to teach him everything he needed and wanted to know.
Puffy was proud of how her son was doing in his lessons. From being pretty advanced for a mainly self taught fighter to being second best in his camp was extremely impressive to her. But not to Dream. Dream wanted to be number one.
He was good, but there was always one person he couldn’t seem to beat. Technoblade.
Techno was undefeated in the camp, beating all of his peers at least twice. All the other teens would be silent whenever Phil would ask for volunteers to go up against him. All but Dream.
He wanted that glory. He would come home and practice everyday so he was at his best. Whether it was sparring with Sapnap or playing some very extreme tag game with George, Dream would do it until nightfall.
Puffy tried to tell him that he didn’t need to do all this. Techno had been doing classes his whole life- Philza being his father and all- and was quite skilled, but Dream didn’t care. He wanted to be the best. He wanted to beat Techno, even if it was just once! So when it came to the day of the final tournament of camp, Dream was determined to win.
He had taken down everyone in his path -not actually hurting anyone, obviously- as Puffy cheered for him on the sidelines next to Sapnap and George, who she had offered to look after for the day so they could come watch their best friend “kick ass”. She couldn’t be more proud of her son. He had put his mind towards something and it was paying off. She could have cried every time she saw him pump his fist to the air in victory and wave to her and his friends whenever he had won a match. That was her son down there. Her son.
Dream had made it. He made it to the final round. Along with Technoblade.
This is what he had spent every night training for. Every missed meal. Every restless night for both him and Puffy. Every broken vase or picture frame that had been wounded by a feisty child with messy sword technique. Puffy had just hoped it would pay off. She wanted Dream to be as proud of himself as she was of him.
It didn’t.
Techno had beaten Dream once again, winning the ten round fight, six -four.
6-4.
Puffy knew that would haunt him. He was so close. Closest he’s ever been! He almost tied for XD’s sake! But it wasn’t enough.
Technoblade helped Dream from the ground as the crowd cheered. All but Sapnap, George and Puffy. Dream stood and turned to the audience with Techno, taking his opponent's hand and raising it so his rival- friend could bask in his glory.
That was another thing Puffy knew about Dream. He was good. Kind. Always helpful and compassionate with his friends. Atleast, until he was behind closed doors.
Puffy waited for Dream to leave the dressing room. The other teens coming out one by one. She had waited and waited until only her and Phil were left. Techno left the dressing room, running to meet up with his father and brothers.
“Techno! That was so cool!” a little blond toddler had cheered.
“Even better than last year, I reckon!” a burnett who seemed to be the same age as the young fighter had replied. Techno chuckled at his siblings' praises until noticing Puffy out the corner of his eye. He turns to her, making eye contact before nodding towards the dressing room door. Puffy understood.
“Phil? Mind watching the boys for a moment?” She had asked the father of three, a poorly hidden desperate look on her face. Phil’s face changed from proud, to concerned for Puffy’s talented son.
“Yes, Of course.”
Puffy nodded in thanks, guiding Dream’s friends to the group containing a still fired up child. She turns to the room containing her son, and begins to make her way in.
She closes the door behind her, giving the parent and child some privacy.
“Dream?” She called.
“Go away!” She heard from behind a stall door.
Her face softens as she sees the blond lump, curled up on the floor, playing with a sword. She walks to her son sitting next to him silently. After a bit of silence, Puffy speaks up.
“Dream? I thought- “
“Why am I never good enough?!” He shouted. Puffy’s heart shattered.
“Dream..”
“I tried so hard today! I always do and I almost had him this time I did I just- How come no matter what I do, I’m never good enough for this! He’s always better than me at everything! School! Fencing! When is it my turn to be better?!”
“Dream, there’s always gonna be someone better. And the best we can do is try our hardest. One day you’ll get your turn, I promise, just-”
“No!” Dream shouts, standing from the floor. “No, No! Those words aren't gonna work this time! Because if someone is always better, then what about when there’s no one left? Hm?! What then? Nothing! That’s what. The last person to be better is the best! And it’s never me! Techno gets to be the best! Academics! Sword fighting! George gets to be the best! Coding! Archery! Even Sapnap with his stupid fire resistance and weirdly good strength! But it’s never me! I’m always just mediocre! Average! Second best! There's always someone better than me! I want to have thAt chance. I want to bask in the glory of people praising you just for being good at something so insignificant as a stupid little fencing tournament! Why can’t I have that? At Least once.” Puffy’s face continued to fall. “Why can’t I be good enough for you to be proud of me, mom?” At that, Puffy was done.
She pulled Dream into her lap and held him tight to her chest. He rested his head on her shoulder and cried. Sobbed as Puffy rubbed his back, not caring for the tears and snot that would mark her red sailor's coat.
“I’m sorry I disappoint you.” Dream had sighed. Puffy pulled him from her, looking him in the eyes.
“Duckling, you could never disappoint me! I was so proud of you today! I’m always proud of you! I don’t care if you’re not the best fighter or have the top grades out of your peers. All I care about is if you did your best. If you improve your own personal skills and you get better. Not the best, just better because you worked, and you tried. And you know I’m telling the truth because I have never lied to you. Every time I go to Church Prime and I pray to XD, all I ask of him is for you to feel proud of yourself and for you to know how much I care about you. I love you, Dream. Nothing will ever change that.”
*Sniff “You promise?” Dream wipes his nose on his sleeve.
“Heh heh, yes. Of course I promise.”
Dream smiles to his mom. Puffy smiles to her son. They know they were loved.
“Can you just leave me alone already!”
“Not until you admit your a stupid idiot and cheated!”
“Uh oh.” Dream reacts to the voices of Sapnap and Techno outside the dressing room.
“We should go save Phil before he dies from a heart attack.” Dream chuckles and races out the door.
Puffy smiles.
Yup. Puffy knew her son.
Insecure, inlove, competitive. And good.
Until he wasn’t.
Maybe she shouldn’t have left. Should have stayed. Maybe then she could have helped him before he fell so low. Could have been there to talk him out of the things he did. But no. She just had to go and chase the sea, looking for answers to something that would never be found. Now she was here. Standing in front of the wall of lava shielding him from the outside world. From everyone who loves him. From everyone he loves. If he even loves anyone anymore. She didn't know.
She didn’t even know.
Because she left.
She left and came back only to have to help a child process the trauma her own son had caused. Only to then be there to assist that very child almost kill her own son, only to lock him in the very prison she stands in now.
Maybe she should have stayed.
“Are you sure about this Puffy?” Sam asked, waiting to allow her to see him
She had to be welcomed to see her own son.
She had to be allowed.
“Yes. It’s been long enough.”
Sam hesitates. He stays silent as he pushes the lever, letting the lava fall.
The thick, glowing, hot liquid lowered and lowered until in the center of it all, Puffy could see a black box. An obsidian cell holding a blond boy she once knew. She takes a breath, stepping onto the platform that would take her to the dark, sad holding area of Dream.
That was her son in there. Her son.
She stayed silent as it moved. Closer and closer. She couldn't see his face. It was turned away. He didn’t want her to see it. Until he turned.
He turned right as the platform came to a stop and moved away from the cell, preventing any escape of the almost stranger standing in front of her. She entered the cell looking into the green eyes she had missed so dearly. It had been long since she could look into the deep emerald that were her son's beautiful eyes. They eyes he didn't inherit from her. The eyes she had hated until he was born. Eyes of joy, determination, and love. But these weren't those eyes. These eyes were tired. These eyes were broken. These eyes were guilty.
Guilty of so many things Puffy didn’t see. Because she had left.
Maybe she shouldn’t have left.
“Duckling?”
Dream’s eyes broke even more, but he covered it well. Not well enough.
“Took you long enough.” He said coldly, turning away to lean against the small table he was given to write on. “Was starting to think you just didn’t want to come.”
“Well, having your first reunion with your kid after about seven years being in their own prison cell isn’t the most pleasing this to take part in.”
“Uh huh, and who’s fault would that be?” He asks smugly, snapping his head back to her.
“No. No you don’t get to blame this on me. You brought this on yourself, Dream!”
“Oh, I know. I mean the ‘this being our reunion’ thing. We shouldn't be having a reunion. We should never have to. Yet here we are. Because you left me at only fifteen. I was fifteen, Puffy!” He strikes his body forward, face filled with rage. Puffy keeps her face straight. She’s dealt with more threatening, more scary things in her travels. Yet, nothing that had ever hurt as much.
“I was fifteen and you left me! You left me and never came back until a child you didn’t even know needed someone to tattle too. You never came when I needed you! ‘Oh you’ll be fine’ you said. ‘You have Bad’ ‘You have Sapnap and George’ ‘You have Sam’ ‘Oh you’ll be fine Dream’ Well look how that turned out!”
“I left you in good hands.” Puffy replied, trying to hold in tears. “You had so many people that would have helped you. That tried to help you when you needed them-”
“I needed my mom!” Dream cuts her off. “I needed my mom to not go out to sea or for her to at least take her with me so I wouldn’t be alone. For her to come back when she promised! For her to be there for my hardships. My victories. But she comes back because some kid didn’t have any uncle to cry to.”
“Tommy needed someone. I was someone and don’t play the age game with me because I can play too. Tommy was only sixteen when you took the only things that mattered to him. Sixteen when you blew up his country. His home. Twice may I add! Sixteen when you exiled him. Sixteen when you tormented and manipulated him. Sixteen when you threatened the life of his best friend. Only seventeen when you killed him with your own bare hands-!”
“Tommy brought that on himself! All of it! I liked Tommy! Cared for the poor bastard! Loved him even like my own brother! But he tried to kill my friends, then me. He tried to make a country when he was completely fine where he was, and pretty much exiled himself from the rest of the SMP! He burnt down George’s house after being told so many times to not grief people’s properties, especially when everything that happened started with Sapnap burning Ponk’s tree! He was the one who didn’t believe me about the revival book and I brought him back didn’t I? He wasn’t dead for good! I never planned on him being dead for good. I knew the book would work, I’m not stupid! Tommy did all that to himself, I just executed the consequences. But you!" Dream pauses. chuckling as he shook his head, biting his cheek.
"You were the one who left her son to be on his own. You were the one chasing false hope. I'm a bad person Puffy, but I’m not a bad guy! I’m not a villain. You one the other hand, I mean, leaving a child for her own personal gain. Not returning after he begged and begged for her to come back. To take him with her. Sounds pretty villainess to me.”
Puffy was silent. Not because she didn’t know what to say. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, she just wanted to take it all in. All of Dream’s hurtful words that had made her feel she had been stabbed in the gut by the very sword he used to play with a small, innocent child before she returned the favour. And she did.
“I am so disappointed in you, Dream.”
His face fell.
It hurt her more than it had hurt him, she was sure of it, but she knew how he felt. He could pretend all he wanted but he was still the same kid from all those years ago. Same fears. Same flaws. Same insecurities.
Maybe it was evil of her to exploit him like that. To use that against him but what else could she do! He wouldn’t have shut up. He wouldn’t have listened to her. Still, maybe they weren't so different. They both did bad things for what they believed were the right reason. She was disappointed in them both. And she was sorry.
But he didn't need to know that yet.
Puffy turns away as Dream’s mouth stays slack. She calls out to Sam to let back the platform. As it returns, she says one more thing, not looking back.
“I’ll be back. Just need you to cool off.”
“I know.”
She believed him. She knew he would know. For she was Puffy and he was Dream. He knew his mom and she knew her son. And despite it all, they knew they were loved.
Seven years doesn’t really mean much if you only count the ones that made the difference.
For them it was two. Two short years that felt so long. So many things happened in those years when they could have been there for eachother. But they weren't. And that, Puffy didn’t balme Dream for. For two years wasn’t enough to forget someone, so he knew for some off, sickening reason, he knew that she was proud of him. And she still knew that deep down, her son was good.