Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Mark was 8 years old, his older cousin brought him to a band bar while babysitting him. Cuddled between his older cousins as he drank his warm milk from a wine glass, he remembers hearing a very raspy voice spouting unintelligible words in very fast seconds. His little mind couldn't process what the singer (or rapper, his cousin corrected) was saying or why he was even speaking in such a quick manner. But he does know one thing. That thing, rapping , feels like his dream. 

Eversince then, everytime his cousin babysits him, he'd pester him to take him to that place where the fast singer sings. 

The rapper, or Lee Taeyong as his older cousin calls him, is just another young man. His hair is bleached pink , eyes big and innocent like a deer. But whenever he steps on stage, he turns into a different person. He became a very charismatic teenager oozing with nothing but confidence and aura. Mark wants to rap someday. He remembers seeing Taeyong hyung pouring every word of frustration on his rap verse after failing university application, hears him rap angrily about the unfairness of the society, and feels the heartbreak of being abandoned after his parents denied him because of his dream. 

But even so, Mark fell more for rapping. Just like his Taeyong hyung, he wanted to tell the world how he feels. He wanted to share the happiness through an explosion of well-practiced verse, wanted to spout maddening sick beats. 

His older cousin, Johnny, was so supportive that he even started working on the sideline as a DJ in the bar just so he can take Mark for free inside the place. Belatedly, it only came to him that his Johnny hyung is dating the rapper Taeyong. And so, because of their relationship, Mark managed to get free tutor and lessons from the rapper himself. 

Mark thought it was all that easy reaching for his dream.

But when his parents knew that he wanted to become a rapper, they weren't that supportive. They gave him the talk and only Mark then realized what it really means to dream. Rapping and being a rapper in a society filled with nothing but prejudice and discrimination, Mark knows he won't be welcomed warmly as he thinks. 

'Were you planning to be an idol?' His mother asked in a joking manner, taking lightly of the situation and pretending that his son is making a joke.

'I want to rap mom' Mark insisted.

His father raised an eyebrow, staring at him. 'You won't get far with that dream'

And since then, Mark never brought it up. He thought that day this is how Taeyong hyung felt when his parents denied him . Fortunately, his cousin took Taeyong and since then, Mark moved to his cousin's house as it is closest to his university and though his parents were disappointed with his hobby, his cousin Johnny still encouraged him as it makes him happy.

'Mark!' His classmate and friend, Jeno, snaps him with his loud voice. 'I was calling for you. We're going for ice cream after school, you wanna come?'

Mark loves his friend dearly, but he has a small gig tonight at one of his cousin's parties. Ever since he moved into his cousin's house, Johnny and Taeyong always bring him to clubs and bars and encourage him to rap as no one will judge him since they know the owners. The good thing is that he never encountered people he knew so performing all out, rapping his heart out makes him feel free, even just for a night. 

'I'm sorry. I need to do grocery shopping after school.' He lies, hoping they'd understand. Jeno pouts at him before deciding to let him off the hook once again, like how a good friend does. He used to ask why before but after noticing Mark's anxiousness, he stopped asking since it might be a private matter that his friend isn't ready to share.

They wave goodbye to each other and Mark waits for his cousin to pick him up when he sees a group of students he'd really wanted to avoid. Lee Donghyuck.

He never really interacted with others as they are worlds apart. Lee Donghyuck is like the head of the chain. He's on top of his game and famous for his excellent academic skills and angelic voice. Aside from being untouchable, the famous tan beauty also has a sharp tongue which usually results in a fight. Mark really doesn't want to mess with him. He just wants to finish his university days as peacefully as he can. 

As always, Donghyuck passes by him like he doesn't exist and Mark actually stops breathing the moment the tan beauty walks past him. Even with the rumors spreading about him being an untouchable perfect albeit problematic kid, no one can deny that Lee Donghyuck is one fine beauty who shares the same air they breathe. Of course, like everyone else, Mark is just another fish in the pond. 

'Mark!' Johnny calls from his old truck, waving at him from the spot. Mark turns his head away and plays the rap inside his mind. 

'How's the preparation?' Taeyong asks him once they reach the club. His friend, a Japanese man named Yuta owns the club and he supports Taeyong and Mark's passion for rapping. Mark performs every three days (indefinitely, depends on their schedule) as he is an aspiring composer and rapper, he usually sings his original songs in the club. 

'I'm ready hyung' Mark answers, changing into a clean black shirt. He used to be so scared of performing but after realizing that people never really know who he is, he finally got the confidence to perform. Sometimes even with mistakes, he takes it as a lesson. Taeyong always points out what he should fix and he's thankful for the people supporting his passion for rap. 

Taeyong starts the program with his own rap, and Mark follows as a partner. Blinded by the lights and the freedom of rapping his thoughts in the open, Mark feels so free than ever. The audience claps as they finish their song, and Taeyong high-fives Mark for a good performance. Adrenaline pumping in his veins as his cousin Johnny finally hits the disc, Mark takes a swig of his orange juice and savors the feeling of accomplishment.

'That was great Mark!' Yuta tells him, patting his back fondly, 'It was clearer than before. I can feel your confidence in every verse'

Mark beams at them, too happy to express how he feels.

'That was a great show Mark'

'Thank you!' Mark turns to face the audience. It's common for customers to tell him he did great (others even gave him tips for his performance) and he's very grateful for their responses. But, upon facing the customer, Mark felt his heart drop. 

Lee Donghyuck.

What?

'W-what.. ' His eyes widen impossibly big, his heart feeling like it could stop with how shocked he is. Why is Lee Donghyuck here out of all places?, he asks himself, internally screaming because oh no, now he knows my secret! He probably thinks I suck cuz he's better at singing than me. What if he tells the school?! He can't think straight. It feels like fear filled his system as he remained rooted and frozen in his seat. Luckily, Yuta came with a glass of water to attend to his customer, 'Oh, you know Mark? Are you his classmate?'

Donghyuck nods timidly, a small smile on his red lips. 'Schoolmate'

'Ohhh' Yuta smiles happily, elated to know that a customer finally knows Mark, 'Did you hear him rap? How was it? Pretty good right?'

Mark wishes the ground would just swallow him whole with how embarrassed he is. He's not really sure if he should leave and pretend to not know the other. But Donghyuck turns to look at his eyes, crinkling into crescents, 'It was very good indeed'

Mark finds it hard to breathe well so he stumbles his way to the bathroom. Splashing cold water on his face, he tries to think of a solution on how he'll hide the fact that he's a rapper. Although not a pro, it's not really a good fit for a nerdy boy like Mark to be rapping about societal injustices at night when he looks like he still needs to wear his braces to fix his pronunciation. What do I do? , he mumbles to himself, troubled.

Too lost in his own world that he fails to hear Donghyuck walking inside the bathroom. 'Mark Lee' he greets, voice cutting through the peace and silence Mark chose to dwell in.

Mark hiccups in shock, hitting his head on the mirror. Donghyuck widens his eyes in surprise at the clumsiness, trying not to laugh but failing as he cackles against his palm. 

Mark rubs his sore head, a little bit surprised to hear the other silently cackling. 

'Are you that surprised?' Donghyuck asks in between laughs, trying to compose himself. Mark sends him a look of grimace and frown, 'You're Lee Donghyuck.'

Donghyuck nods as he purses his lips in a thin line, 'That's me. And you're Mark Lee.'

'How come you know my name?'

'You're a teacher's pet.' The tan boy replies as a matter-of-fact. 

Mark can only grimace at the truth. He knows he's a goody-two shoes who's scared of failure and thus resorted into being the teacher's pet just to make sure he doesn't fall behind. Still, a teacher's pet rapping out at night isn't really a good thing. What a turn of events. 'You.. you heard me rap earlier?' He ask to confirm.

Donghyuck nods, 'You were pretty good at it. I was impressed.'

Mark's not really sure if he's genuinely saying it out of appreciation or not but he can't really risk the idea of the school knowing that he raps. His parents don't even know he still raps as a hobby, he's so done if they ever heard of his adventures. 'Look.. please don't tell anyone' He pleads, fixing his eye-glasses.

Donghyuck tilt his head, curious. 'Why is that?'

'Just please, don't' Mark begs, sweat trickling down his neck with how scared he is. Donghyuck seems to think, deep in thoughts. He sighs, 'Fine' Donghyuck pouts a little and Mark jumps in happiness only to stop when the tan beauty adds, 'But you'll invite me to all of your shows'

Mark stares at him like he lost his mind. 'W-what?'

Donghyuck crosses his arms, 'I won't tell anybody about this but you'll have to take me to your every show.'

'B-but why?'

'Because I want to watch.' Donghyuck answers, not even stuttering. His directness made Mark blush and flustered, cheeks reddening at the straightforwardness. 'I—' he coughs out, not sure what the other meant, 'I'm not a pro you know. I just rap as a hobby.'

'Yeah, and what's the problem?' Donghyuck hums, 'I want to watch.'

The way the smaller boy said it made Mark pause. It's probably the first time someone actually told him directly about wanting to watch him perform. All of their audience do not know him and he mostly get compliments after his performance, but that's all to it. But.. hearing someone wanting to watch him perform feels kind of.. weird. In a good way. Like.. like he earned himself an admirer or some sort.

Stupid brain , Mark slaps his cheek as he argue with his mind, that's just impossible! We're talking about The Lee Donghyuck!

Donghyuck steps infront of him, furrowing his eyebrows at the height difference. 'Wait, I never thought you'd be taller than I am' He says in a low voice, obviously irked.

Mark steps back at the closeness. He can feel Donghyuck's heat with how close the smaller is to him. 'W-well— I am pretty tall, you know. It's on our genes'

Donghyuck huffs, not really delighted at the fact. He inches closer again, cornering Mark. 'So we made our deal?' He asks, and when Mark looks at his face, he realizes he really doesn't have any option other than agreeing. 'Y-yeah, okay.' He answers.

'Cool' Donghyuck quips cheerfully, stepping back. 'Give me your phone'

'B-but why—'

'Just give me' Donghyuck sighs, exasperated. 'I don't have all the time Mr. Rapper.' Mark pull his phone out and the smaller one snatches it the moment it is out, saving his number. 'Here's my number. I'll be waiting for your next performance' he coughs awkwardly, cheeks turning a little red with how bold and shameless he seems. 

'Y-you'll really watch my performance?' Mark asks in fear, mortified. Performing while one of his schoolmate is watching is not really Mark's idea of freedom. He can't help but overthink that the tan boy might spill his secret and he'd be forced to live his school life in agony from the exposure. 

Donghyuck seems to sense his fear. 'I promise not to tell anybody, even our schoolmates about your hobby' he says as he raises his pinky finger, 'pinky promise?'

Mark blushes at the endearing action, clasping his pinky finger with the other even when he's trembling from nervousness and mortification. 'P-pinky promise'

Donghyuck beams, all teeth and rainbows, 'Cool'

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

'Where have you been?'

Donghyuck halts on his steps, head down as he gulp. He clenches his fist before lifting his head, steadying his heart and plastering the best smile he can. 'Good evening Mother, I didn't know you'd be home today'

His mother, Mrs. Lee raises an eyebrow at him, wineglass on her hands. 'Didn't know I'd be home? Is that why you're slacking and tottering outside this late?'

Donghyuck places his bag on the floor as he kneels, sweat on his forehead. 'I f-finished first in class today and took the m-main vocal again for the musical. So I t-thought I deserve an icecream.' He explains in a small voice, trying to lessen the fear in his voice but found it impossible. His hands starts to shake in fear when he sees his mother stand and walk to him. 

'Icecream?' His mom repeats, face stoic and voice rid of emotion. 

Donghyuck nods with a hopeful smile. Maybe today , he thought hopefully, maybe today she won't —

'That's right. My perfect son deserves an ice cream. A job well done.' She breaks into a smile, the one that takes the hope away from Donghyuck, and instantly, fear covers his face. 'You deserve all the best in the world…' she agrees as she raises her wine glass, her glass filled to the brim, 'You deserve every fucking second of my ruined life.' and then proceeds to dump the wine out of her glass, pouring it to her son. When it's empty of the drink, she throws the wine glass to Donghyuck, hitting his forehead.

Donghyuck flinches in pain, feeling something wet other than wine on his forehead. Blood.

'Out of my sight. I hate seeing that face.' She turns away from him, going back to her seat in the living room.

Donghyuck dutifully obeys his mother's words, walking to his room and closing the door gently before locking it. He collapsed on the floor, tears in his eyes. It stings because of the wine and he can feel his cut throbbing. 'It hurts' he cries against his arms, curling over himself, 'It hurts a lot.'

He washes himself, treats his wound and lays in the bed to rest. Fatigue is heavy on his eyelids, and his forehead is throbbing from the pain. It's always been like this. Ever since his father went away with another woman, Donghyuck's face became his own mother's curse. He understood that his mother loved his father so much, so did he, but it's not his fault his father went away. Losing a father is already a big blow to him. And having his mother hate him for a reason he can't control feels like his own life is not worthy to live. 

And yet..

And yet..

'How can someone like him live in secret?' Donghyuck cackles to himself. He remembers the strange encounter with the Teacher's pet earlier. Mark Lee, huh? , he mulls sleepily, all he has been is be a pushover and a loser. But.. but he's like a different person earlier. Mark Lee's confused and nervous face is a new sight for him. It's always him who makes those expressions in secret. He never had the time to look at other people's faces more so their expressions. He has no interest in them. He have himself to worry about, and yet.. seeing the teacher's pet on the stage, rapping without a care in the world. It felt like he was a different person. He felt so free , Donghyuck bit his lips, tears in his eyes, so free that it makes me jealous.  

Having to live with his mom because he can't afford to live on his own yet, he had to follow all the rules of his mother. 

Be perfect. Be the best. No mistakes. 

That's how he is made. Without those rules, he'll be worthless. He'll be no one. Nothing.

'We have to show your father that he lost the most precious person in the world,'' his mom had cried to him that day. He barely understood what she meant as he was only 10 years old at that time. 'We have to show him that he's not perfect without me. I'll make you perfect. You have to be perfect.'

It was never about me , Donghyuck bitterly laughs on his own, I was just a pawn for the Queen, ready to be tossed aside. 

He pulls his phone from his bag, wondering if Mark Lee will ever send a message. I should've got his number instead, he thought, frustrated. There's no way he'd message me first!

As if destiny is playing a joke, his phone beeps from a message. 

'Eh?' Donghyuck sits up in surprise, jaw hanging in shock. 

[Hi. Is this Lee Donghyuck? Uhm.. it's Mark Lee, your schoolmate earlier. I have a show in two weeks. I'm not sure if you're really serious but.. as promised, you can watch me on my next show.]

Donghyuck blinks, before collapsing in the bed, trying to suppress his scream against his pillow. He shouldn't be feeling this delighted about a stranger messaging him about his secret schedule, but.. but still, he can't help but feel like he and the teacher's pet had a secret that only the two of them know. 

A part of me that the people don't know. 

His lips are twitching, he wants to smile so bad. [Sure. See you] he types as a reply.

Mark sends the schedule and their meeting. Donghyuck's lips are pulled into a wide grin that night as he sleeps, phone pressed firmly against his chest.

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

'Hi' Mark greets two weeks after their first encounter. Donghyuck tilts his head at how dressed the other is. 'That's new' he greets before following him inside the club, waving at the owner (Yuta). 

'Oh hello!' A beautiful man greets him, and Donghyuck felt a little nervous with how pretty he is. 'Hello' 

'So this is Mark's friend!' He beams happily, his doe eyes twinkling with fascination. 'My name is Lee Taeyong, I rap with him'

Mark nods, rubbing his nape, 'H-he's my mentor. Hyung, this is.. uhm, my schoolmate, Lee Donghyuck.' he introduces the tan beauty. Mark leaves Donghyuck on the bar while they have their meeting before their performance. Mark seems to be on edge and he looks more nervous than the last time he saw him. Is it because of my presence? , Donghyuck thought mentally, curious, he's really scared of people knowing, huh?

People soon started coming in and once the clock hits 6 pm the club is already packed. Donghyuck's thankful he's in a good place to sit and watch, and drinks are also accessible as he's infront of the bar. 

'Hello!' The owner greets him as he give him his drink, 'You're Mark's friend right?'

Donghyuck bit his lips, unsure if he is really friends with Mark. The latter only introduced him as a schoolmate and the owner seems to forget that, but maybe telling others they're friends isn't really a big deal. 'Y-yeah'

'You're here to watch right? No one from his personal life actually watches his shows aside from me, his older cousin and mentor.' Yuta explains carefully, but he had a grateful smile etched on his lips, 'Still, it's good to know someone came to watch him. Rapping is his passion, you see'

Donghyuck hums, watching as Mark and Taeyong steps on the stage. 

'Orange juice and a plate of buttered corn for our guest, it's on me' Yuta winks at him, 'Also, enjoy the show. I take pride in my boys.'

Donghyuck nods politely, thanking him for the free meal.

The lights turn red, signifying the start of a revolutionary hit song, and Donghyuck kind of feels excitement in his veins, anticipating Mark's new song. He needs to see and hear him, needs to see again how different Mark is on the stage, like he isn't a teacher's pet. 

He wants to be like him.

The show was shit. 

And so is Mark. 

Donghyuck's already on his 5th orange juice, maybe I should go for a vodka instead he thought just to erase this horrible experience. He needs to erase what he saw minutes ago.

The show was terrible. 

Mark was all over the place the moment his turn started. Taeyong was fine, he was smooth and seductive but when it's Mark's turn, his words were suddenly an incomprehensible jumbled mess, like a grade-schooler was mumbling. Donghyuck barely understood his verse, his mind hurts from how messy Mark was trying to rap his part. He was so nervous, his voice kept shaking and his focus wasn't on the audience, rather on Donghyuck. 

I was right. He's nervous because of me , Donghyuck sighs, wondering why Mark did a really bad job on doing his part. From what he heard from the owner, Mark was steadily improving and was also preparing his own self-written songs. And yet, today seems the first time he messed up, as Yuta remarked earlier. 

He sees Taeyong emerging from the backstage, a tired smile on his face as he sits on the bar for a drink. He seems to sense how restless Donghyuck is, so he turns to him with a smile, laughing openly at the younger's uneasiness. 'It was bad, right?' He giggles. 

Donghyuck shrinks from the look, his cheeks turning red from shame. 'W-well…'

'It's alright to be honest. We're still in the process of improving.' Taeyong says softly, obviously worn out. At some point during the chorus part of the song, Mark gave in to his nervousness and stuttered all throughout his parts making Taeyong lose his tempo. It was a really bad show, just today though. 

'Well, you were good and confident but I think.. you and Mark weren't really on the same boat during the performance.' Donghyuck explains, a little bit wide-eyed, 'It felt like he wanted the song to end.'

Said person walks out of the backstage looking sullen. Taeyong quirks an eyebrow at his statement, astounded at his analysis. They both watch as Mark takes a water bottle and heads outside, probably to have fresh air. 

'You know, Mark has never been free when it comes to his rapping. These shows are only small ways for him to express who he is without being judged, and I guess having someone he knows in the audience is giving him anxiety.' Taeyong explains softly, 'His parents weren't really that supportive.'

Donghyuck frowns, puzzled. 'But.. he was good last time. Felt like it wasn't him.'

Taeyong shrugs his shoulders, 'Well, sometimes, he needs the reminder that it's not the audience he is rapping for.'

Donghyuck takes a deep breath, clearing his mind. He completely understands Mark's feelings. Having to live his life being perfect for his mom's sake, he knows too well how much of a burden it is to be someone he isn't. He excuses himself and heads out to where the other is. He found the other one sitting on the bench staring at nothing. 

'Hey' Donghyuck greets softly, trying to not ruin the peace. He can see how disappointed the rapper is. He's probably feeling worthless now because he messed up one show. 'You alright?'

'It was shit right?' Mark says lowly through his gritted teeth, voice trembling, 'I was so nervous. I couldn't even remember the lyrics and I was out of tempo. What a boomer.'

Donghyuck taps on his foot, trying to find better words to not aggravate the other more. 'It can do some improving'

'You already watched my shows, you saw how I suck. You can leave now' Mark laughs bitterly, 'If I were you, I wouldn't come and watch again.'

Donghyuck frowns, 'Wait, what are you on abo—'

'I'm not like you.' Mark turns to stare at him, eyes blank and emotionless, then continues ruefully with a resigned smile, 'I'm not perfect, I can't do things right. That's why… that's why you don't have to pity me. I don't need it.'

Donghyuck stares back at him, trying to calm how angry he is. Perfect ?, he screams inside his head, I'll never be the perfect me. And I don't wanna be the perfect me, I want.. I want.. He takes a deep breath before marching on toward the other,  determined. He grabs him by his collar, 'That's why you kept on losing! All you did was listen to what other people had to say!'

Mark tries to swat him away but Donghyuck only holds tighter, eyes burning with fire, 'You rapped for youself didn't you?! You did everything by yourself, so why do you need to care what others think?!'

'They were expecting!' Mark shouts back, frustrated as tears gather in his eyes, 'You were expecting. It was supposed to be a good show.'

'If you live by others' expectations, you won't find yourself.' Donghyuck knocks their foreheads together, glaring at the other. He hopes, oh how much I hope you understand , that Mark will realize he doesn't need to know what others think, regardless if they know him or not. He doesn't need to live by their expectations. 'Now, I'll ask you, who is that song for?'

Mark bit his lips, tears rolling down his cheeks angrily. 

Donghyuck exhales and repeats, 'Who is that song for? Who do you rap for?'

Mark mumbles his answer, defeated.

'I can't hear you' Donghyuck lifts his head up, staring at his eyes. Mark opens his eyes to stare back and sees determination burning inside the tan beauty's orbs. 

'Myself' He answers.

Donghyuck let go of him, satisfied. 'That's right. You rap for yourself. It is your freedom. Do not let anyone make you think otherwise. Do not let them take away the freedom you have just because they have expectations from you.'

Mark takes a moment to look at him properly, and then nods timidly with a relieved sigh as they stand infront of each other awkwardly. Donghyuck deems it the right time to leave the guy alone, but as he takes a step back to the club, Mark mumbles something he thought he wouldn't ever hear from the latter. 

'Thank you'

Donghyuck pauses, eyes wide.

'Thank you for the encouragement.' Mark shyly continues, head low but his ears are burning red. 'That was.. that was cool of you, t-to help me'

Donghyuck quirks a small and awkward smile, feeling a strange emotion inside. 

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

Three weeks after, and the start of Semestral Break, Mark invites him again for another show (via direct message). It's a Halloween Special Event in the club and Donghyuck's thankful his mom isn't home because he's not sure how he'll tell her that he isn't sleeping properly and instead is listening to a newbie rap his life out. 

'Hello Donghyuck!' Taeyong and Yuta greet him the moment he steps inside the property, dressed in a sexy black top matched with fitted jeans, Donghyuck can't help but glance at their looks every second. 

'Mark's preparing for his show.' Taeyong tells him when the younger starts craning his neck as if looking for someone, 'It's his first ever show alone. And he prepared so much for this so he's taking his time.'

Alone? , Donghyuck thought, a little anxious, 'Will he be alright?'

Taeyong winks at him, 'He already steeled his resolve. It's either he didn't learn from his mistake or he'll face his fears.'

Donghyuck smiles, understanding what he meant. He quirked an eyebrow as a tall handsome man walks to them, also dressed in a black top. 'Oh Johnny!' Taeyong invites the taller, 'You've never seen Donghyuck in person right? This is Mark's friend.'

Donghyuck tilt his head upward with how tall the other was, 'H-hello. I'm Lee Donghyuck'

Johnny smiles sweetly, like a big fluffy bear, 'Hello Donghyuck. I'm Johnny, Mark's cousin. I heard that he invited a friend, it was a surprise for me to know you come to his shows when you can.'

Donghyuck blushes under their stare, 'W-well, it's a good blackmail material' he mumbles shyly but they laugh as they still heard it clearly. 'Well, I hope you're enjoying your time' He pats his shoulder before going to where his disc equipment is. There's many people compared to other days, it seems like it's a really hectic party , Donghyuck thought as he watched more customers walk in, all dressed in various glimmers and whatnot. He even sees rich people being led to a private corner. 

'Seems like a big day' Donghyuck mumbles to himself. Taeyong perks at the words, agreeing. 'It is.' he says, making the smaller jump in surprise at being heard, and he continues, 'A lot of investors actually invest in this club. Our friend Yuta, the owner, is pretty good at handling business deals. They usually come to meet him and talk about proposals and ideas for new business.'

Donghyuck awes in amazement, seeing Yuta welcoming his guests with a very wide grin. 

'There's also gonna be some idols here. Mostly, female idols drop to destress themselves and we keep their identity confidential so that they feel safe.' Taeyong adds, 'Now, it seems like the show is going to start' He winks at the other, and as he says so, the light flickers into red and smoke slowly disperse into the air, building the atmosphere. Some performers danced for the intro, swaying to the music, reaching out their hands to the audience like an interpretative presentation. It's only when the lights flashes back into a whiter tone that Donghyuck sees Mark already standing at the center. 

He lets out a hiccup. Taeyong turns to him with wide eyes followed by a giggle. 

Donghyuck releases another hiccup and he can't seem to stop, because on the stage, standing proud and confident is Mark. His aura is whole and firm like he can't be moved nor be swayed. 

It's his first ever show alone , Donghyuck covers his mouth as his hiccups continue. His chest is tight and his eyes can't believe the sight of the other. It's his original song . 

The music starts as Mark raises his mic, his makeup making him look like a bad boy with broken dreams. 

Maybe he is. 

Okay back inside my 156 bus24

Kinda feel like thinking back ,Time passes by so fast

I remember the time When we tossed our lives just like wishing coins

Boy didn’t know a lot, I think I’m still the same

Every word pierces through his heart as if it's written for him. Donghyuck can't even feel his heartbeat with how loud the beat of the music is. He can't help but stare at how different Mark is, the song he is singing sounds like he is both lost and found, but not yet.

I’m still searching for my galaxy, still don’t know my screen28

Drowning in looks that are getting worse

Getting more spotlight than sunlight everyday

Makes me think about how

Rap is my new 156

For the future traded yesterday

If memories made me ,Then we make today

I hope you like it where I’m now

Donghyuck sees Taeyong wiping tears from his eyes as discreetly as he can, and even the owner Yuta is proudly watching their friend face his fear and tell the world all about his struggle through a song. 

Broken heart oh even if it hurts a lot36

The story that we can’t go back to again

This short dream oh your memories

Today that can’t ever be forgotten

If everything is tomorrow then yesterday

Donghyuck didn't know Mark could sing. He talks about rap a lot but never about singing, but none of that matters as the other sing his chorus, all the pain rushing through his verses, anxiety on the stress of his notes and frustration on the pitch of his voice. Donghyuck can feel it all. Can hear it all. 

Tomorrow then yesterday

Sorry that I walked away

Tomorrow then yesterday

My precious yesterday

Donghyuck can't remember anything after Mark finished his song. But he does remember jumping on his seat, eyes wide in amazement as his hands clapped with enthusiasm and adoration of how amazing the other was. It was a series of shouting and clapping, the audience obviously amazed by Mark's performance just as Donghyuck is. There's money flying to the stage, girls squealing as Mark waves down the stage, thanking them for their support. 

Donghyuck doesn't even wait for Mark to go backstage, he runs to him, wrapping his arms around the taller's shoulder making them stumble on the side. 

'H-hey—' Mark panics, unsure who's hugging him.

'That was so amazing!' Donghyuck screams, still filled with the rush of adrenaline from the earlier performance. He can't help but squeeze the taller one with happiness for his successful performance. 'Good job! Good job!'

'H-hey, hey, calm down' Mark chuckles, patting his arms gently. The smaller let go, eyes twinkling with joy making Mark blush with how intense the other is staring. 'And t-thanks. I finally got to.. perform alone.' He says, a little embarrassed. 

Donghyuck giggles, whacking his back hard. 'You didn't look like a first-timer at all! It was.. very good .' He says, voice turning softer, 'I like it alot.'

Mark reddens more, eyes wide as he looks away. He rubs his arm, looking shy and nervous. He's been having trouble the past few days. Eversince Donghyuck gave him the talk three weeks ago, every time he loses motivation to push through his ambitions, he remembers the smaller and feels a strange emotion in his chest. He can't even look at the other as he's feeling troubled by what he is feeling. 

Fortunately, he didn't have to linger with the smaller as Taeyong walked to them, excitedly pulling him to the guests. 'They're amazed by your skills and wanna talk!'

Donghyuck and Taeyong wished him good luck before they left.

Mark came out of the VIP booth after two hours, and he's expecting that his guest went home already, except when he walks backstage, he sees Donghyuck having a drink with his cousin Johnny, with his mentor Taeyong and the owner Yuta. 

'Hey there little popstar!' Yuta greets, 'Congratulations for the successful show!'

Mark gulps, back to being a shy boy. 'T-thank you hyungs' and then he takes a seat beside Donghyuck who's having fun drinking with the others. 

For some reason, all his hyungs walk out of the room, leaving them alone and Mark would've felt nervous if Donghyuck is sober— thankfully he is not. 

The smaller's cheek are red and rosy from the drink, casting the taller one a soft smile and raising his hand for a toast. Mark jumps in shock when the tan beauty laid his head on his shoulder, giggling. Mark thought before that it is because of the awkwardness that he felt nervous around the other one although he's a great impact on his improvement. But it seems like that's not the case.

'Congratulations Mark' Donghyuck whispers softly, looking at him through half-lidded orbs, 'You were so.. beautiful over there'

'W-what?! I-I'm not— I mean, y-you are—' Mark rambles, feeling his heart beating wild. 'You.. you are beautiful'

That day, when you told me who I am rapping for .

You were so beautiful.

But he hears no response. So he looks down and sees that Donghyuck is already sleeping. 

Instead of trying to wake the other, he simply remains seated beside the other, a peaceful and serene feeling in his chest. 

Meeting Donghyuck is a gift and Mark will never forget that day.

My precious yesterday , Mark thought.

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

Donghyuck frowns at the test paper. It says 97/100. It's not a good thing. It isn't perfect and that's not okay. If his mother knows about this he'd get a slap or worse a beating. He crumples the test paper and pushes it inside his bag. If she knows , he bit his lips anxiously, if she does, but I won't let her know it. 

He takes a deep breath. His mother hasn't been home for two weeks now and it's nerve-wracking. He had heard his mom multiple times about wanting to meet his dad, but she was never really successful.

Just as he steps out of his classroom, his phone vibrates. A message. 

[Hey, uhm, I actually need help on something. Is it alright to meet up today?]

Donghyuck bits his lips, trying to stop his grin. He has a reputation to hold, but still, he runs to the communal bathroom to scream his lungs out. 

[Alright. Meet me in the parking lot.] He replies.

Mark's already at the parking lot when Donghyuck walks out of the building. He tries not to seem eager to see the other. They've been talking for weeks now, and though they do message each other, seeing each other for shows became minimal as Donghyuck actually has to study and have perfect scores all the time. The Club became more crowded and busy that even talking with Yuta and Taeyong were almost a little impossible.

'Hey' Mark greets, blinking cutely behind his thick-framed glasses. Donghyuck disguises his squeal with a cough, nodding to the other. 'What kind of help do you need?'

Mark seems nervous, 'W-well, remember weeks ago, I had a talk with some guests from the VIP room. It turns out they're from an agency and are scouting potential candidates for an upcoming rap showdown.'

Donghyuck drops his cool facade as he breaks into a beam, excitement covering his face, 'Wait, what?!'

'Yep, a rap showdown on a leading network. The show's starting next week but I really have no idea how to.. ugh prepare. Physically, I mean.' Mark confesses.

Donghyuck breathes deeply, building his resolve on helping and making sure that the other will steal the spotlight with his awesome fashion style and more awesome rapping skills. He clasps a firm hold around Mark's wrist, 'Alright, we're going shopping.'

And proceeded to drag the flustered boy to the mall.

'You'd look good in a tight fit jeans and leather, and also an open buttoned shirt like this—' Donghyuck rambles as he picks clothes after clothes, pulling Mark behind him as he scans all lanes of the store. The taller one's behind him obediently, obviously clueless and useless in this area of life. 'Alright, I got all you need. Now. Change.' and shoves Mark into an empty changing stall.

'W-wait—' Mark stutters nervously, 'Are you sure this would look good on me?' he glances at the clothes he never thought he would wear. He dresses like a nerd all his life but now, these clothes, they scream luxury and fashion. 'It.. it might not look good on me. I've never tried these styles before'

Donghyuck grins slyly, 'There's always a first for everything.'

'Y-yeah but—'

'Shush' Donghyuck silences him with a finger against his lips, making him blush hard at the contact but the tan beauty doesn't seem to mind. 'Trust me, you'll look good.'

Mark steps back with a shake of his head before deciding to obey the other. He did ask for help but that's because he thought they have the same idea of fashion. It seems like Donghyuck's style is also way out of his reach too with how bold his choices are. 'O-open button?' Mark gulps as he looks at the daring shirt. 

Donghyuck plays on his phone as he waits for the other to get changed. He can't help but laugh while listening to Mark's grumbles and squeak while dressing. He'd seen it before. Mark's body proportion is amazing, it's a shame he has never acknowledged his own body type. He quickly puts his phone down when the door clicks open, 'Finished?'

His breath catches on his throat when the taller one finally walks out of the changing stall. 

'T-this feels a little.. uncomfortable' Mark shyly mutters, trying not to move too much. His bare chest is out and his pants are too fit and tight. Seriously, why do idols even wear these uncomfortable clothes , Mark grumbles internally. He receives no response so he checks for Donghyuck's reaction only to see him gaping at the other with red cheeks and wide eyes. 'Hey, you alright?'

Donghyuck closes his mouth with a snap, slapping his cheeks hard. 'That.. you.. uhm, w-well you..'

'It's weird, isn't it?' Mark guesses, ashamed. 

'No!' Donghyuck disagrees, 'You look awesome!'

Now it's Mark's turn to blush, hiccuping at the compliment as the smaller continues to prove why his statement is true. 'You— you're so stunning, and cool, and dazzling and and.. and hot!' Donghyuck finishes, embarrassed. 'Oh gosh, you look hot. Like really hot.'

Mark steps back into the changing room and closes it, too flustered to reply. 

'Hey!' Donghyuck knocks on the door, 'You look amazing! You should go with that look!'

'I look provocative!' Mark argues, 'And no, my parents will probably see this live and they don't even know I still rap and now they'll see their son rapping while dressed like a—'

'Stop right there.' Donghyuck manages to open the door, eyes boring holes into the other, 'Take a deep breath.' 

Mark gulps, 'N-no'

'Take.A.Deep.Breath.' Donghyuck emphasizes. Mark with his arms wrapped around himself, surrenders shakily, draws in a lungful of air. He feels calm the second he does, nervousness subsiding. Donghyuck smiles at him, patting his shoulder, 'Okay, now, who do you rap for?'

Mark stares back at his eyes, 'M-myself'

'Okay, about your parents, you have to be honest. Wouldn't they be proud that their son is competing nationally on national television?'

Mark grimaces, hugging himself tightly. 'T-they wanted me to stop'

'Well.. it's your choice. It's for yourself. You either let them decide for you or you decide for yourself.' Donghyuck advises, mentally impressed by himself. He wishes he can do the same. But unlike Mark who has his cousin and mentor as well a friend to rely on, Donghyuck has no one. He has no choice but to follow the rules until he's free to go. He.. can't live without his mom yet. Not right now. He has to walk by her commands or else he'll be lost. He knows it's wrong. He knows his mom is wrong and yet.. the moment his mom stops controlling him, he thinks he'll break. He hasn't even built himself yet. He has to find himself first.

'They'll be disappointed. What if they disown me?' Mark's orbs are glassy and it's obvious he's trying not to cry. Donghyuck is baffled at how different Mark is on stage compared to this crybaby. 'Look, you have to relax and think properly. You.. you can only continue forward with a clear head.'

'S-should I stop rapping?' Mark sniffs.

Donghyuck sighs with a smile, 'It's your life not mine. You  have to decide for yourself.'

Mark bit his lips, trying to relax. He shakily smiles at the smaller, relieved at how the other was so encouraging. 'Thank you. But for now, I guess I'll get these clothes.'

'Yay!'

After the shopping, Mark brings Donghyuck to a cafe to thank him. Fidgeting on his seat and looking more nervous than ever, Donghyuck finally quirks an eyebrow at the other, 'What's wrong?'

Mark glanced at him, smiling timidly, 'W-well.. you know there's three stages of the competition. And.. if ever I reached the final stage, we were allowed to invite relatives and friends to watch.'

'Hmm?'

Mark gathers the courage and pulls out an invitation card from his bag, 'If.. if you have time, watch my show! I'll make sure to reach the final stage!' He says as confidently as he can but his whole face as well as his neck and ears are red. Donghyuck blinks at the card, surprised. 'Oh, uhm,' speechless, he manages to not embarrass himself as he smiles brightly, cheeks hurting from how wide his lips are stretched. 'Make sure to rap well, okay? Cuz I'll be attending.'

Mark awes at his smile, astonished. 'Y-yeah!'

Donghyuck wonders why the beat of his heart is louder and heavier than the background music of the cafe. 

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

'I heard you've been visiting a club after school.' Is his mother's first words to Donghyuck when she steps inside their house, disheveled. Her hair's a mess and her clothes are not worn properly. She looks miserable and Donghyuck can already feel that today won't be a good day. She tosses her bag on the couch, walking to her son and grabbing his hair, 'I only went out for a few weeks and you've been prancing around freely as you can.'

'N-no mother! I was helping a friend!' Donghyuck reasons out, his neck hurting from the position.

'A friend? You don't have any time for friends. Where's your final test?' She grabs his hair more, voice full of venom. Donghyuck pales at the mention of his test paper, 'Uhm, it's.. I wasn't able to give my best—'

'The hell are you talking about?' His mom screams, obviously angry and on edge. 'It wasn't perfect? Are you telling me you're not perfect— you son of an asshole—'

* Ding

Donghyuck's grateful their doorbell rang because his neck and scalp hurts. 'Nosy neighbors' His mom curses under her breath, stumbling her way towards their door and opening it. Donghyuck can hear their neighbors' worried voices, asking about Donghyuck and if he's okay. He's thankful the old couple takes care of him when his mom isn't around and they're probably aware of Donghyuck's troubles as they can hear through the walls with how loud his mother is.

His mom harshly closed the door after telling the couple to not meddle on family things and that I am his only family , I know what's best for him.

By the way she's acting, it seems like her request to meet her ex-husband didn't go well.. for the nth time. He's not really sure whose side he should take. His father left him without a word and his mother hurts him mentally and physically. 

'You. Did you know your father had the audacity to reject my emails?' She says furiously, grabbing a bottle of wine inside the cooler. 'I've been seeing his social media posts, posting photos of him and his new wife, acting like the perfect husband.' She laughs in misery, tears in her eyes, 'That should've been me.'

Donghyuck wonders if this is the reason why he really didn't have the resolve to leave. Is it because, atleast, even a small sort of interaction with his mother is enough to make him think that his mother knows he exists, even if it's through the harsh beating and physical pain. While his father acted like he never existed. He wonders who's worse as a parent?

'Get out of my sight.' His mom yells and Donghyuck wastes no time running to his room in fear. He thinks his mother might be deranged. 

Locking his room door, he faceplants on his bed after that terrifying experience. He feels so scared of the world all his life. Even if his mother hurts him, he's not sure what would happen to him if she leaves as well. He can take the beating but if she leaves him like what his father did, he doesn't know what he will do with his life. 

His phone vibrates. A message.

[Hey, uhm. I qualified for the finals!]

Donghyuck sits up, uneasiness slipping away with just a few words from Mark. 

[If you could, please come to my final stage.]

Donghyuck smiles to himself, replying with a short 'sure'. 

That night, even with his mother's loud crying in the next room, Donghyuck slept peacefully, phone against his chest.

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

Mark's trying not to panic. He is. But his nervousness is eating him away. After all these times, all the hard work paid off and brought him to a place he never thought was possible. He can hear the crowds shouting in excitement. He's filled with adrenaline and his nerves are on fire. It feels like he can rap and rap with his heart out in the open for the people to see, and be transparent with his anxieties and failures. And yet at the same time, he feels vulnerable and fragile, like he wants to keep everything a secret. 

He taps his foot impatiently on the floor, wondering if the one he invited will come. 

'Relax' Yuta laughs, trying to ease his nervousness. 'He'll come'

Mark blushes, wondering if they read his mind. 'I-I'm not—'

But suddenly, the door opens and Donghyuck walks in, and Mark catches air in his throat, astounded by the other boy who looks like he walked out of a magazine. Instead of feeling relieved, he gets more nervous. 

'Hey popstar' Donghyuck teases, 'Ready for the show?'

Mark bit his lips, shaking his head. No , he thought as fear finally filled his head. 'I'm not..' 

The tan boy tilts his head in question, 'Nerves? Take a deep breath then.' He suggests playfully, like before when they were buying clothes. But it's not effective. This time, the fear of failure and anxiety is bigger than his courage. He feels like drowning. Donghyuck seems to sense his internal breakdown, looking straight in his eyes, 'Hey, you can do this. Just like the other times in the club' he explains, rubbing the other's temple. He can see Mark's breath turning ragged with how much he's trying to stay calm. His hands are cold as well. 

'I… after this, if I fail, my parents will probably tell me to quit.' Mark whispers, biting his lips. 'What will I…'

'Hey' Donghyuck cups his cheeks with his warm hands, cutting his ramblings, 'You came here with a resolve. Didn't I tell you to think with a clear head before?'

Mark nods shakily.

Donghyuck smiles, 'What's your resolve then?'

Mark held Donghyuck's hands, staring at his beautiful orbs. 'I.. I will continue rapping whatever happens.'

'See? That's your decision. You're accountable so take responsibility for choosing that.' Donghyuck flicks his forehead teasingly, 'And be honest with your parents. I think it's better to tell them how you feel instead of trying to make up to them. You're not perfect, you know.'

Mark smiles a little, 'But you are though'

Donghyuck tries not to drop his smile. Though he can feel himself blushing, Mark's response made him realize that the other doesn't know him that well to say that. In the softest voice, he mutters, hoping his anxiety isn't noticeable, 'I'm not perfect'

They're separated by a cough, and though Mark looks like he still wants to say something, he instead turns to where the source of interruption is. His cousin, Johnny, is trying not to look at them, giving them privacy from their earlier actions (Donghyuck and Mark tilt their head naively), 'The show's about to start. You are up next'

Mark nods, taking a deep breath. Still, he feels a little scared. He faces Donghyuck worriedly, 'Quick, give me a good luck charm!'

'G-good luck charm?' Donghyuck frowns, 'I don't have anything here with me!' as he hurriedly pat his pocket for something to give the other as a good luck charm. 

'Just give me anything! A candy or whatever!' Mark says frantically as the door opens and the host calls for him.

Donghyuck, baffled and in a state of panic, decides to just grab and kiss Mark's cheeks instead. He thought it counted as something but it doesn't seem to be the case when Mark squeaks in shock, obviously not expecting a kiss. His cheeks are a shade of angry red from embarrassment and something more, 'I d-didn't say a—' the taller one says in a scandalous voice, eyes wide as saucers. He even heard Johnny, Taeyong and Yuta gasp at what the other did. 

Donghyuck's furiously blushing as well, frustrated. 'You told me anything—'

Mark's cheeks turn even redder and it feels like his head will explode with how hot he feels right now. 'I- I didn't mean—'

'Alright, that's enough' Taeyong slides between them with a knowing smile, 'Mark, it's time. Do your best out there, but remember, whatever the results are, we will always be proud of you'

Mark nods stiffly, walking out of the room with a shy 'thank you hyungs'

On his way to the stage, there's a feeling in his chest that he cannot name, and it's a feeling bigger than his fear and anxiety.

As he steps on the stage, feeling all eyes on him, his anxiety crawls back in his veins. But when he looks at the audience seats, he finds his hyungs and Donghyuck smiling at him. 

'Contestant Number 5. Presenting Mark Lee, performing his original work. Yestoday.'

The beat drops and Mark raises the microphone to his lips. He can feel the heat of the stares, the anticipation building in his gut and the strains binding him from his freedom slowly loosen.

Inside the box by myself, Time to empty myself.

Mark didn't win the final stage. 

He came in second, a very close competition but the winner was a totally different contender. Mark knows he's still an amateur compared to the winner. It was a very good experience. They headed to Yuta's club to celebrate, and though he was hopeful of winning first place, there's not even an ounce of regret or shame in his chest. He was happy to have experienced such an awesome and fierce battle against people he shared the same passion with.

He was a little scared of his parents looking down on his achievement, but it didn't seem to be the case as he received a message from his mother. 

[You're as stubborn as we are. We're disappointed you did it behind our back but congratulations for the second place. Drop by at home some time with Johnny so we can celebrate.]

They didn't bring up his job nor their goals for him but atleast they didn't degrade his hobby now that he has an achievement to prove it. 

'You were so good there!' Johnny says fondly, 'All the times you struggled, it finally pays off.'

All of them seem happy for his experience rather than his final position. 

During his performance, filled with ear-piercing screams and waving hands, Mark's eyes managed to locate where his friends were. Donghyuck was watching with bright and proud eyes, his orbs twinkling as if he'd been crying. 'I was so emotional during your performance. It felt like I was more nervous than you are.' Donghyuck confesses to him, his eyes rimmed red, 'You were so beautiful up there. I couldn't.. couldn't stop my tears' 

Mark blushed so hard that Johnny and the rest openly teased them with each other. 

'Thank you by the way' Mark clears his throat awkwardly, glancing at Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck giggles, 'Don't forget me when you become famous, okay?'

Mark roll his eyes at the teasing, his eyes straying at the other's hand. The smaller is shivering so Mark deems it a reason to hold his hand, and when Donghyuck jumps in surprise at the action, Mark braves himself to not let go because it's cold . 

'Your song.. it made me feel like I'm in the process of knowing who I am and what I want to be' Donghyuck states gently, voice a whisper in the calm night. 'I wonder, if one day I can be free too?'

Mark can hear the sadness in the other's voice. He wonders who Donghyuck really is. Even if they became close, he knows little to none about the boy he once thought was out of his reach. He has never forgotten the fact that Donghyuck was a whole different league from him, and yet, sitting side by side with their hands joined together because of the cold, Mark can't help but think if the Donghyuck he knows is the real one or just a facade to please the world. 

'If ever you think you can't do it, I'm here to listen' Mark tells Donghyuck sincerely, 'As a payback for helping me'

The smaller boy beams at him, heart filled with an unexplainable feeling. 'Pinky promise?'

'Pinky promise' Mark promises.

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

After the competition which hooked the nation about rapping, though he didn't win, Mark was sought out by different producers from different companies, wanting to scout him as an idol. Overwhelmed by the support, Mark prepared his schedule to meet each of them to talk about his potential growth in composing and rapping. He still talks with Donghyuck (though they resorted to video calls as Donghyuck can't be in the club all the time), and when Mark gets burned out from the interviews, one message from the tan boy is enough to make him move forward and strive more. 

He knows it's already bigger than friendship (for him, he thinks). What he is feeling is something he should not be having for a friend and yet, he doesn't dare ignore the fact that maybe, maybe there is something more to him and Donghyuck.

He's not the only one who noticed it. Yuta, being blunt and direct, asked him one time if he and Donghyuck were secretly dating. Mark choked that time, too flustered to speak, and when he had asked why, Yuta's smug grin along with his answer made Mark blushed the whole day. 

'You look at him not like a friend but a lover'

Taeyong, his mentor, said the almost-similar thing when they're out for grocery shopping. 'It felt like Donghyuck was more indulged and involved than we were' , Taeyong had giggled.

Hearing it from his friends is totally understandable. But. Hearing it from his own cousin who literally raised him like his own, it must be pretty serious. 'He drives you forward' Johnny told him teasingly, but he talked like he also was charmed by Donghyuck, 'He sees the best in you more than you do'

Because of his newfound feelings, he's been filled with inspiration and motivation to write songs. He wrote the words he is not ready or maybe will never be able to tell Donghyuck, of how he's been bugging his mind all day and night, baby is it me or are you doing something to me?, when you smile it's shining , does Donghyuck even know how beautiful he is everytime he speaks his mind dangerously, you're beautiful , or how adventurous his life seems to be every time Donghyuck pushes him for more when i'm with you, danger seems like a good thing .

Mark wonders if he'll ever be able to tell the other how he feels. 

But he hopes one day, he can sing these words to him.

One day, on a dark and rainy day, Donghyuck called him, sounding broken and drained. The words he whispered were enough to make Mark sprint out of the club to the address the other told him.

'Mark, I need you.'

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

It's been a particularly bad day. It's the third time his tests are not perfect, his mother is on edge because his father answered her call only to tell her to leave him alone, and she had no one to vent her anger on other than her son. 

It started with a wine glass, she was hysterically screaming around the house, throwing things after things, fragile and vulnerable items flying and hitting Donghyuck because he is the target. His cheeks are bleeding and his clothes are covered with blood, yet he couldn't make a sound. 'After all this time!' She shouted, tears out and wild running down her cheeks, 'I was still never enough! Even though I tried so hard to be perfect, to fix everything! It was never enough!'

Donghyuck understood that his father is never coming back. He made his final choice. Donghyuck thought his father thought of him even for a second, could've spared him a glance and see how he is now. But no.. he abandoned him for real. His father was worse, atleast his mother was with him although he had to endure the bleeding cheeks and gripping hands around his hair.

The nosy neighbors are screaming outside their door, telling his mom to stop abusing her son. But his mom is mentally unstable now and she really isn't in the right state of mind to think, never was in the right state of mind. 

'C'mere Donghyuck' His mom beckons him, the shredded glass on her hands, 'Come, I'll make you perfect'

Donghyuck is so scared he can't even mutter a single word let alone move his body. 

'C'mere'

Donghyuck wishes it'll be quick.

'Police!'

The doors are harshly opened as numerous security officers scramble inside, 'Surrender Mrs. Lee. We received reports of child abuse. We will take you for an interrogation.'

'You meddling pig—'

But then they're dragging her away, giving her minimal chance to resist, and the old neighbors are running to him with soothing voices, 'It's alright. Come, we'll wash you up.'

But Donghyuck can't handle the strange hands holding him even though he knows them. Just like his mom, he as well isn't in the right state of mind. He grabs his phone with trembling hands, calling the person he needs the most. 

Mark, I need you.

After roughly 20 minutes of waiting while the elder couple comforts him, he sees his hope walks inside his house, disheveled and obviously shocked at his appearance. Mark wastes no time kneeling infront of him, eyes wide in worry and fear, and so much emotion that Donghyuck can't help but cry at the care directed at him. Mark can only hug him, gentle of his wounds and tells the couple that he'll tend for the younger. 

Donghyuck's crying, the first time Mark even saw such an outburst of emotion. The smaller couldn't even form a proper response, he just keeps on digging his face against Mark's chest as if needing warmth and protection. 

He guides Donghyuck to the bath and tries to change his dirtied clothes as much as he can. The smaller one's glued to him like he is his lifeline and though the action made Mark's heart jump inside his chest, he reminds himself that the other needs the proper care. Gently washing the other, Donghyuck calms the instant he starts singing, so he continues to sing and rap all his songs, even the ones he covered. Face red as he continues to heave harshly, Donghyuck doesn't even dare let go of Mark's hand even if it means getting the other wet as well. 

'D-don't leave me' Donghyuck cries the instant Mark steps back to grab the towel on the rack. 'No silly, I'm not leaving' Mark cooes, hoping he sounds as calm and collected as Taeyong hyung. He called his hyungs for help and they said they'll come after buying necessities. 

Mark leads him to what he assumes is the Donghyuck's bedroom, dressing him as quickly as he can. Donghyuck's eyes are red and puffy, but atleast he stopped crying. 'Hey Mark' Donghyuck mumbles tiredly, pushing his face against the taller's hands, 'Please sing yestoday. I want to hear your songs'

Original song? , Mark thought. He smiles as he runs his fingers through the other's wet hair, 'Okay, I have a new one. Wanna hear it?'

As he sings the words he wanted to tell the other, he feels free and overwhelmed with an emotion he knows the name by heart. Love. 

You know baby, whenever ride or die with you

Anywhere's fine as long as we're together paradise everyday

This comfortable wind is smooth, Just like your breathe near me

This moment that can be felt, Close my eyes and keep it

Donghyuck giggles, a wet laugh after, so Mark continues, delighted to hear him react. Gently massaging the other's scalp, he sings the chorus.

Every moment that we'll be together, The precious miracle called you

The pandora's box that waited for me oh pandora's box

The memories in my dream, All the time called you

Our own pandora's box, pandora's box

Feeling braver as his favorite part nears, he leans closer over the smaller and encircles his arms around the tan boy's thin shoulders, making Donghyuck shiver at the closeness. 

Remember the us, us in this moment

Always like this, together, forever 

Donghyuck curls a shy arm around Mark's arms, burying his face on it. Mark knows he is crying again because he can feel wetness in his skin but he doesn't let go, hugging him tighter behind. He wants to tell Donghyuck how he feels, of how loved and special he felt whenever Donghyuck looks at him, or all the time the tan boy brought out the best of him. But not right now, it seems like words are overwhelming for the other, so instead of saying the words he desperately wants to confess, he just hugs the smaller tight and firm, as if saying I'm not leaving you behind. 

His phone is beeping and it seems like his Johnny hyung and Taeyong hyung is already outside with the help of the address he sent, but still, just for five more minutes, he indulges himself and burrows more on Donghyuck's strawberry-smelling hair, whispering in the tan boy's ears his favorite phrase in his new song. 

Remember the us, us in this moment

Always like this, together, forever 

'Finally asleep?' Taeyong asks him once the crying has subsided 4 hours after the disastrous breakdown. After drying Donghyuck's hair earlier, Mark hastily ran to the front door to open it for Johnny and Taeyong. Unfortunately, that few seconds apart scared the hell out of the traumatized tan boy as he resulted into a wild sobbing mess. Tripped on his own feet, Mark managed to ran back to him before he could tire himself to the bone. After that, it was another messy session of calming the abandoned. 

It took approximately 30 minutes of soothing, singing and rapping (with the help of his hyungs Johnny and Taeyong) for Donghyuck to finally calm down, snuggled against Mark's chest and his fist curled tightly around the taller's shirt. 

'One step out of his sight and he'll burst into tears' Mark whispers sadly, pulling the blankets higher to cover Donghyuck's body. He shared with his hyungs about what happened earlier. He hasn't really grasped nor understood the whole situation. The old couple he met when he came were saying vague phrases like ' such a heartbroken child ', ' his mom was a monster ' and ' taken for investigation '. Still, he knows it's just the surface of what was truly happening. For Donghyuck to break and collapse mentally, Mark can never even imagine seeing such a situation and yet it happened. 

One thing he does know is that— Donghyuck is all alone on his own. And it must be the reason why he keeps on freaking out whenever left alone, almost begging Mark  don't leave me alone , and clutching onto the other like he'll be left behind. 

'I'm back' Johnny announces, 'I went out and did some research. I talked to the old couple beside and said that Donghyuck's been going through abuse since he was a kid.'

'Since he was a kid?!' Taeyong vehemently growls, disgusted by the information. 'And by his own mother?!'

Johnny hums, placing a calming hand on his boyfriend's nape, 'It's probably more complicated than that.'

Mark wonders what's happening in Donghyuck's life. All the days they've spent together were so bright and cheerful that he can't even imagine the tan boy being sad. But it seems that he indeed doesn't know the other very well. The smaller one was always happy when they met, his smile cannot compare to the sun with how bright it is and even his character resembles the beauty of a sun, the ability to shine even in the darkest of days. 

But that was a lie. 

Donghyuck is broken and abandoned. All the time he spent being perfect isn't real. 

Donghyuck squirms at the noise, blinking his eyes tiredly. He sits up in surprise when he sees Johnny and Taeyong. 'H-hyungs? What happened?'

'We.. well, we wanted to make food for you!' Taeyong replies rather awkwardly, dragging Johnny out of the room with him, 'And we'll be back for food!'

The smaller boy tilts his head, confused at the sudden appearance but delighted to have more companions for the night. It seems like Donghyuck was too disoriented and exhausted that he didn't realized they were the ones who sang him to sleep. It was a quiet minute for awhile, with Donghyuck gently playing with Mark's fingers, until he sighs and looks at him straight in the orbs, his puffy and red-rimmed eyes trying to smile as he says what the other must be curious about. 'You.. wanna know the reason?'

Mark grabs his hand, courageous for the moment. 'You don't have to tell me if it's personal'

Donghyuck shakes his head softly, sitting beside him with their fingers intertwined. 'How do you see me at school?'

'What do you mean?'

'How do you see Lee Donghyuck at school, who excels in everything and is known as the beauty?'

Mark gulps, blushing at the truth that he did know Donghyuck is beautiful. 'W-well.. perfect. You're perfect in everyone's eyes.'

Nodding, the tan boy continues. 'I.. grew up like this. I was born to be perfect in every single thing. It took me years of hard work to be recognized and appreciated… but you know what, it was for nothing. All of it is pointless.'

Mark bit his lips, still not understanding the root of all so he listens. 

'When I was 10 years old, my father left us for another woman. As a family, my mother thought she gave all that she had.' Donghyuck laughs wetly, 'As a kid, I thought I was undeserving of his love and so, my mother told me to be the best at everything. She said that if my father sees how perfect his wife and son are, he would come back. Days after days, working hard because my life depended on it, I was a genius at a young age. The teachers loved me, the people around adored me, and I was sent to places I don't know to present the school over and over again. All of these were recorded and sent to my father.. who never, even once, checked it.'

Mark wipes Donghyuck's tears away, smiling at him and encouraging him to release all the stress he's been penting up.

'I thought he'd acknowledge me if I was smarter, brighter and better than any other kids. But.. I realized that he didn't really care about me nor my mother.' The tan boy coughs out, now words are more painful, 'After understanding that I would never get the affection from my father, I thought that obeying my mother's wishes would ease her worries and love me as her son properly. But she wasn't seeing me as her son. She was seeing me as a way to get her husband back. It was never about me. Never about the abandoned 10 year old kid who has no real parents.' 

Clogged up emotions, Mark can't help but drag the boy to his arms for a tight hug. He's been miraculously courageous today and he's proud of it. 

'All of my life, I followed the rules, walked in the line and never complained. I was perfect Mark.' Donghyuck sarcastically laughs, clutching around Mark's arms tightly, 'I was perfect. And broken beyond repair. I don't even know who I am or what I am supposed to do now that she's gone. All these time, it was never about me so now I.. I feel lost..'

Mark buries his nose on Donghyuck's tuft of hair, 'Shh, breathe in with me'

It was obvious the smaller one was having a panic attack.

'I couldn't.. I don't know who I am' Donghyuck sobs through deep heaves, eyes blurry as tears cloud his eyes, 'All there is left in me is an empty shell of a broken and abandoned boy'

'That's not true' Mark interjects as gently as he can,  tugging the other boy to his chest to sync their heartbeats and breathing, 'Breathe in. Breathe out.'

'C-can't breath—' Donghyuck's panicking and Mark's turning pale at the sight before him. 'S-scared'

'Mark! Donghyuck!' Taeyong screams horrified, seeing the tan boy's mental state. He quickly runs to him and hugs him, rubbing his back soothingly as he whispers comforting words. Kissing his sweaty forehead, he doesn't dare let go of the younger one who is obviously having his mental breakdown. Donghyuck hugs back tighter, sobbing loud like a child. 'Shh, it's alright Donghyuck. We're here, there's nothing to be scared of, hmm?'

Donghyuck coughs out wetly, exhausted. 'S-sorry'

'Shh' Taeyong kisses his cheek, still rubbing a warm hand behind his back. Humming under his breath, Mark and Johnny watch as Taeyong lulls Donghyuck to calmness with the care of a gentle touch like a parent. Donghyuck's all around the older like a kid, desperately clinging to him. 'It seems like I'll be his bed buddy today, Mark' Taeyong teases with a wink, making the other boy blush and squeak. As Taeyong gently lays beside Donghyuck, Mark watches in awe as the smaller clutch tightly for assurance and affection. 

Donghyuck is hungry for love. 

And Mark is ready to give it all to him.

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

It was a number of agonizing days for Donghyuck to cope and slowly return back to his normal life. Unfortunately, it isn't easy because normal is something the tan boy never knew. His mom is gone, placed inside an institute for mental health instead of prison because of her alarming mental disorder signs. Donghyuck was informed 1 week after her placement that the Institute called for his emergency contact as he was a child left alone. He wasn't shocked nor disappointed when they told him that his father, listed as his emergency contact, didn't even pick up their calls even after sending him emails of the situation. Tossed aside like a disposable toy, Donghyuck was reminded then, that his father never acknowledged him as his son and that his mother abused him for her own personal reasons. They were abusers and neglectful, as if they wanted to tell the world that Donghyuck doesn't exist in their lives. But still, his mom stayed with him for years until now, unlike his father. 

Moving on is hard, he doesn't know where to start. Studying for perfect scores was easy and even being himself with a high reputation has become a normal thing to do. But.. he's lost. All of these things are what his mother told him to do. But now that she's gone, he really doesn't know how to function without a command. 

'Look Donghyuck' Taeyong had told him the moment he woke up the first day he realized and panicked that he's all on his own, 'First, eat. Second, live. Last, enjoy.' and he caressed the younger's cheek gently and softly, hands careful with so much love and affection, 'And if you're lost, run to us.' 

Going back to school with a traumatizing experience, Donghyuck barely concealed his emotion. The first week, he broke down when his professor mentioned his absence during the past days, causing an uproar in school. Thankfully, as he is a public role model for the other students, he wasn't judged nor bullied for the unfortunate happenings. 'It's alright. It's not your fault' His music partner, Renjun, and probably the only one he considers close with, tells him during lunch break. 'And I know it made you stronger'

Stronger huh , Donghyuck thought. He never thought about all his experiences like that. His results were only fruits of his mother's excessive and abusive commands, he never thought they were something to be proud of. It's just how he was supposed to be. Perfect. But.. 

'Perfect grades. Excellent in all subjects and research! And even head of the music department! Only you are able to juggle all of that and still be composed' Renjun beams in complete awe and respect. 

Donghyuck smiles shyly, looking down on his lap as his cheeks heats up. It seems like all of his efforts were infact, not in vain at all. His father and mother may have not seen how good he was, but the people around him say otherwise. Spending time without the lingering thought of his mother monitoring his every move, Donghyuck can say that he felt free even for a little while. Renjun's cheerful laugh is contagious as he talks about things unrelated to study for the first time (which Renjun confessed that he was scared to do since the other doesn't seem the type to hang-out). 

They decided to head to a cafe nearby to talk more when they bump into Mark and his friend in the hallway.

'Hey' Mark greets, and worry covers his face the moment he sees it's Donghyuck. 'Uhmm..'

'Ohhh, Jeno!' Renjun latches onto Mark's friend, 'Wait, do you two know each other?'

Donghyuck and Mark nods slightly. Jeno gasps in surprise, 'Woah, Mark has friends other than me?'

Mark rolls his eyes at the joke, smiling shyly at Donghyuck. Talking to him in school and being with him in the bar as Mark the rapper seems to be different. In school, he's just a nerd wearing glasses, but outside, he's out there rapping his life out in ripped jeans and open-collared shirts. He doesn't really know how to act infront of the other especially when said other is someone he likes. 

'Uhmm' Both he and Donghyuck say in unison, their eyes widening in shock. Their cheeks turns red while Jeno and Renjun watch their awkward interaction in fascination and amusement. They have a glint of mischief in their eyes, 'Well well, are you really sure you're just friends?' Jeno wiggles his eyebrows playfully and Renjun nods. 

Donghyuck clears his throat, avoiding their gaze but his cheeks are tinted red. 'W-well, Renjun, aren't we going to a cafe?!''

Mark looks away, feeling a bit disappointed from the lack of attention. Jeno smirks at his barely concealed disappointment, 'Lucky us, we're actually finished with our reviews! Is it alright if we join you?'

'No problem!' Renjun enthusiastically agrees, clapping his hands, 'Donghyuckie, it's alright, right?'

Donghyuck glances at Mark, and when the other catches his look, he snaps his head away with a crick of his neck, furiously blushing and mumbles, 'It's fine with me'

Renjun and Jeno giggles as they nudge each other's elbows. They proceed to walk to the nearby cafe, and Jeno and Mark take the initiative to order for them as their treat. The moment they sat down, Renjun's all over Donghyuck with glinting eyes, 'Heeey, I saw how Mark looked at you earlier! That is definitely not how a friend looks at his friend!'

Donghyuck reddens, biting his lips. He knows. He knows all along that his feelings for Mark aren't just friendship. The moment he saw Mark being different on the stage, something leaped inside his chest, (his heart probably). And then, being honest with Mark and telling him things he couldn't tell himself, he realized that he was more invested in seeing how bright and dazzling Mark can be. Not to forget, that day on the competition with him giving Mark a kiss and then holding his hands during their after-party. It was all a mix of frustrated emotions and denial, but Donghyuck came to the conclusion that he is indeed, in love with the other. 

And then his mother was taken away, and one call during his frazzled and overwhelmed mind, Mark came and rescued him. 

So many people sought after him but the only one he'll run after is Mark. 

He knows he cannot bring his feelings into their friendship, but he can't help but think that maybe, Mark feels the same way for him too.

Especially when he sang those words to him.

Remember the us, us in this moment

Always like this, together, forever 

But he already asked too much from the other. He can't possibly ask for more when they already gave him so much happiness and memories. They were his little family, exclusively in his mind. Still, he can't tell Renjun about Mark's background. That's their secret. 

'Well, it looks like Mark isn't a friend to you either?' Renjun teases, 'Look at your cheeks. They'll look like they'll explode!'

Donghyuck swat his hands away, flustered. 'W-well, I didn't think you also had other friends! You always had your head buried in a book! And you were glued to that guy Jeno earlier!'

Renjun tilts his head innocently, 'Oh? But Jeno's my boyfriend though.'

'Ha! See! You also—' Donghyuck gasps in shock, eyes wide as his face rivals a tomato as the words sink inside his head, 'What?! B-boyfriend?! What? You?'

Renjun cackles openly, 'Uh, yes. He's my boyfriend. Which means I can cling to him all I want and no one would think wrong of that because we're a couple'

Donghyuck is frozen at the explanation, that even when Jeno and Mark return from ordering their food, he still hasn't said a word. 

'What happened to him?' Jeno asks once they set down the tray. Renjun's doing his evil laugh which means he's up to no good or did something evil again, 'Don't mind him.'

Mark taps Donghyuck's shoulders, eyebrows furrowed. 'Are you okay?'

With his face so close and the word 'boyfriend' from before, Donghyuck can't help but squeal as scenarios invade his head. Mark being his boyfriend and taking him out for dates, singing him to sleep, Mark giving him chocolates and flowers in Valentines, or Mark hugging him to sleep, or Mark kissing him on the lip— 

'Donghyuck' Mark shakes his shoulder, snapping him from his daydream. Donghyuck can't believe that he dares think of kissing Mark when he is right infront of him. 'I'm fine!' The tan boy shouts, shocking Mark, Renjun and Jeno at the loudness. He sees Mark's frown turn deeper but the apology gets stuck on his throat when his eyes drop down on the taller's lips because his head's filled with scenarios again.

Mark let go and pretends that it's nothing but the air around them is tense, even Jeno and Renjun quiets down. They eat in awkward silence and he thanks Jeno mentally when the other tries to clear the bad atmosphere with his ridiculous jokes and cute eye smile.

The walk home is agonizingly slow and depressive. It seems like Mark, Renjun and Jeno seem to think it's their fault that Donghyuck is silent. 

'Hyuck, it's my fault. I'm really sorry' Renjun apologizes with a pout, 'I was just having a good time with you'

Donghyuck laughs nervously, wondering what they're thinking at all. 'I'm alright. I had a good time today too. Thank you Renjun'

Jeno and Renjun wave goodbye as they walk on the opposite street, leaving Mark and Donghyuck alone. Mark's surprisingly silent though he was never a talker, but the tan boy can sense the tenseness in the air again. Mark walks him back to his apartment like usual without saying anything. Taeyong offered to stay with him because he was worried for the younger and Donghyuck's thankful for the care, he likes the older one so much. 

'Alright, see you next week,' Mark says as they finally reach the other's building. He turns away, back and shoulder stiff, and Donghyuck knows it's because the taller one misunderstood what happened earlier. 

'Wait!' Donghyuck catches his wrist before he can even leave and overthink, 'Mark, earlier, I'm sorr—'

Mark cuts him off, voice low. 'It's alright. I made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry.'

The smaller boy squeezes his eyes, troubled. 'No! That's not what I...I was just—'

'It's alright Donghyuck. Don't worry. I know it's been hard these weeks and I was just being nosy, it wasn't my place nor right to come up so close anyw—' Mark says in a hurry, his voice breaking in a stutter like he'll cry. Donghyuck can't believe what's happening nor can he understand what the other was saying. All he knows is that Mark surely misunderstood Donghyuck's reaction because he wasn't uncomfortable at all. Infact, it was the complete opposite and that was what scared Donghyuck. He's so eager for Mark to look at him.

'Forgive me, I crossed a line. I thought we were closer than I thought. It was my mista—'

Donghyuck hugs Mark from behind, his arms circling over the taller's chest tightly. He can feel his heartbeat, it's erratically beating and even his blow flowing is loud and clear. 'Y-you misunderstood' He whispers shyly, tightening his hold around the other. Mark is frozen, he doesn't know what to do. One wrong move and Donghyuck might hear the wild beating of his heart. 'W-wait, what are y-you…' He can't help the heat running up to his neck and face, gosh please don't let him see my face . 

'I wasn't uncomfortable' The smaller one mumbles against his back, voice vibrating through his skin. 'I promise I wasn't'

Gulping down the extreme nervousness and excitement, Mark tries to even his breathing and sighs in relief, 'Okay then, thank you for telling me'

He's expecting to be let go but the tan boy doesn't, instead he tightens more, like he refused the other to leave.

'Donghyuck?'

Said boy whines, gripping the taller's clothes as he mumbles something under his breath. 

'What is it?' Mark asks, craning his neck to look at the other who has his face buried against the taller's clothes. 

Donghyuck lifts his face and the sight of his red cheeks and glinting eyes is enough for Mark to pass out, luckily he didn't or else he would've missed what the other was trying to say. 'I.. I like it.' The smaller whispers timidly, eyes straying away with how shy he sounds, 'I mean.. I like you close to me'

Oh.My.Gaaaaaaa , Mark all but screams inside his head, mind going into an overdrive and it feels like his nerves are collapsing one by one, is he basically saying he wants us close together? Wait! What does he even mean by that?! Does he have feelings for me? F-feelings! Does he like me the way I like him? W-wait! I don't know what to say?! With all the unspoken words flooding in his brain, Mark unfortunately can't even utter a single word as a form of response. Quick, I gotta say something! Cool? Nice? Me too! Ughh, what's proper to say —

'I like you too' Mark breathes out, then he coughs out in panic, 'I mean, I like having you close to me too' he stammers as his hands flail in the air, almost smacking Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck bit his lips, trying to stop the grin from covering his mouth, 'Uhm, t-that's nice to hear'. He lets go of the other and walks to his front, Mark tilts his head, unsure of what the other is about to do. The tan boy takes a deep breath, eyes determined and then steps forward and hugs Mark. Now properly hugging, Donghyuck buries his face against the taller's chest, sighing in happiness. 'I like this too' he says softly, looking up at Mark with those twinkling bright eyes that males the taller grow weak on his knees. 

Mark stares down at him, his breath stuck on his throat. It's already dark and the stars are out, but Mark's more drawn to the brightest star out that is supposed to be in the sky rather than his arms, the Sun. 

Donghyuck is so beautiful and ethereal it almost feels unreal.

A snowflake lands on the tan boy's cheeks, making the both of them gasp. So winter finally started. 

Mark looks back at their first meeting, in the heat of July when the excellent and honor student Lee Donghyuck came into his life like a splash of cold water and the remaining heat of summer. It wasn't that long but it felt as if they've known each other for a long time. And Mark will say it again, Meeting Donghyuck is a gift and he will never forget that day.

It's getting cold and Donghyuck's hug is warm and welcomed, Mark raises his hands to cuddle him back. 

If Donghyuck's is burning with how flustered he is, Mark doesn't bring it up. 

'Hey hyuck' Mark starts softly and seriously, looking straight in the twinkling orbs of the smaller. 'I.. actually I..' come on, tell him how you feel! his mind encourages him but he's still too scared to confess, what if he doesn't like me? I can't imagine letting him go!

Donghyuck tilt his head upward, listening intently. They're so close and one dip down Mark will be able to kiss his heart-shaped lips. 'Hmm?'

'I..actually I, hyuck..' Mark grits, anxiety building inside his head. His head is whirring and the nervousness he's feeling is worse than when he's on the stage. Just sing it to him, sing to him how you feel.

And so he sings. 

Good times these nights, your eyes a different scene

Breath so close we see, you take mine away from me

Donghyuck's focusing on him completely, eyes wide in awe and fondness, glinting bright under the moonlight, only for Mark to see.

Every moment that we'll be together, The precious miracle called you

The pandora's box that waited for me oh pandora's box

The memories in my dream, All the time called you

Our own pandora's box, pandora's box

Remember the us, us in this moment

Always like this, together, forever 

If he can't tell him the words, he'll sing it to him.

They're staring at each other, but Donghyuck's the first to react, giggling. 'What's that for? Suddenly singing out of the blue. Are you practicing for your appearance in that famous TV show?'

Mark doesn't answer, just looking at Donghyuck with his eyes filled with love and want. Oh how much I want you , Mark thought, You always bring out the best me. You make me shine so bright. 

'Mark?' Donghyuck continues, voice so soft and fragile. 'That song.. is it.. is it for me?'

Mark nods shyly.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath, trembling. 'Mark..I..you know, I really like you' His voice is shaking but he pushes on, fueled with courage, just in this moment. 'I want us to be together. I feel the happiest when I'm with you'

Mark once thought how it feels to have his love reciprocated. He was once rejected by a girl in his first year of University, after that, he stopped looking for love. But now, hearing Donghyuck's response, the words he wanted to hear so bad, he thought fireworks would go just like the movies did. But it's not, rather a serene feeling of calmness and peacefulness overcomes his thundering chest. Loving Donghyuck isn't just about the surprises nor the cliche things they would do as the movies portrayed. No, loving Donghyuck is an endless trial but refusing to let go. Loving Donghyuck is walking on thin glass but smiling all through the way. Because it's Donghyuck he holds and nothing's more special and vulnerable, nothing's more important than Donghyuck's fragile heart. 

He smiles sweetly, 'I love you too Donghyuck'

Donghyuck's tears finally fall, cupping the taller's face ever-so-gently in his warm shaking palms, carefully and tenderly he pulls him down, 'Me too. I-I love you too Mark' and then pressing their lips together in the gentlest touch he can muster with all his strength. Careful of his love and his lover, careful of his heart.

The snow is piling and the cold is getting unbearable, but Mark is too unbothered to care, for in his arms is the warmest heart to ever exist in the world.

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

Spring came with new beginnings. 

Mark and Donghyuck graduated university along with their friends. Beginnings are never easy, especially for Donghyuck who once thought that his mere existence is a curse. But every day is a new step, a baby step, but a step nonetheless as he heads towards a goal he decided for himself. Though his past was filled with sadness and trauma, he never thought of leaving his mother behind. He still visits her once a month, but her confinement and depression inside her room led her to her mental demise. But he knows she hasn't really forgotten for once he heard her say 'live a life out of my control and be happy'. 

It was not easy. Donghyuck can barely move on after realizing that he actually needs to live without commands from his mother. He's basically a beginner in life. 

Fortunately, he has a new family in the form of Mark, Taeyong, Johnny, Yuta, Renjun and Jeno.

After deciding what he wants to do, he chose to continue studying for a Masters. He knows he is really smart (some call him genius) so when he was presented with a chance to expand knowledge by providing lectures to University students, he took it. Of course, it's easier said than done. Donghyuck's finances are limited and since his father never really supported him and his mother is gonna be in the hospital until forever, he's left to fend for himself. 

But… it was better. 

Living for himself. 

'Hyuck?' Taeyong calls as he steps inside his room, equipped with his apron and ladle, probably finished with dinner. 'Are you alright? It's dinner time.' He sits down beside the other and combs through his messy locks, laughing airily when the smaller nudges his face against his thighs. 'So tired hyung. Wanna sleep'

Taeyong raises an eyebrow, voice teasing. 'Oh, but Mark's joining us for dinner though'

Donghyuck sits upright the moment he hears Mark's name, pouting with his eyes squeezed close, he whines at the older. 'That's cheating'

'Yes, and I'm going to use him to my advantage' Taeyong cackles, ruffling the younger's tuft of hair, 'Come. He'll be here in a minute'

Donghyuck continues to pout but changes into clean clothes nonetheless. It's been a tiring week of teaching undergraduates about their research and helping out in the library. He still struggles with communicating with his students as he provides extra lectures for research, but he is getting better at it. His friends were supportive of his decision to continue studying since it improves his knowledge and helps the bills. But more than that, he seems to learn how to control his life by living it in his own ways and choices. 

Jeno applied as a Gym Instructor when he graduated and Renjun's goal has always been to be a nurse (though it's exhausting) since he loves the field of medicine and social service. 

And of course, Mark continued with his passion. After his numerous successful gigs performing in Yuta's different branches of clubs, the taller one finally signed a contract with NCT Up, the highest ranking company in terms of high quality and diverse music. They were all supportive of his starting career in music and production, and when Mark's first solo came out named ' Child ', the world especially their nation turned upside-down with curiosity and amazement at the newcomer. Of course, it's a slow build and Mark continues to strengthen his passion by learning more about his own music. As he gets more popular each day, Donghyuck sees him less and less. Not that it will affect their love for each other. 

The doorbell rings and Taeyong excitedly runs to the front door, opening it for their visitor. 'Mark! Johnny! Oh, and Yuta came' Taeyong exclaim happily, gushing over their guests 'Come in, we prepared a lot'

Johnny and Yuta walk in bringing a fruitcake, hugging Donghyuck affectionately. 'I missed ya!' Yuta whines, squishing his cheeks, 'You were so busy we can barely meet you'

'Indeed' Johnny agrees.

'Well, there is someone busier than me though' Donghyuck points out as his lover walks in, disheveled and evidently exhausted for the day. Yuta and Johnny grin mischievously, as Taeyong agrees, all of them staring at the last one to enter, 'You're right. How's our national rapper doing?'

Mark blushes instantly, his tired eyes widening at their teasing, 'Uh, not tonight hyung. I'm really tired'

Taeyong rolls his eyes and then proceeds to drag Yuta and Johnny to the dining table to give the two youngsters time before they eat. Donghyuck giggles openly at Mark's blushing face, 'Do you need a massage? I learned some few tricks from Jeno to ease some tense muscles'

Mark doesn't answer and instead walks towards the younger, laying his head on the tan male's shoulder, 'A hug'

Donghyuck frowns, 'Hug?'

Then Mark slides his free arm around Donghyuck's thin waist, pulling him closer as he breathes in his smell, 'Mm, just hug me'

'O-oh' Donghyuck heats up at the confidence the other shows but obeys his request nonetheless. Before they actually started dating and when they were still just friends, he used to think that since the taller one's a nerdy dork, he'd be all shy and timid when it comes to relationship Donghyuck knows he's confident with his actions since it's always made with precise thinking and calculative measures, but Mark surprised him with his boldness. Mark seems to be the more confident one in their relationship, especially in private. 

'Miss you hyuck' Mark mumbles against his skin, lifting his face to grin at the smaller fondly. Donghyuck feels goosebumps on his skin, getting shy at the heaviness of the other's words to him. 'I miss you too,' Donghyuck replies shyly, before leaning to peck his lips. 'But I know you're hungry, so let's eat now' and pulls Mark to the dining area where the others are already settled. 

If Mark stares at him like he wants to say something more, Donghyuck doesn't entertain it unless the other eats first. 

At the start of Mark's career as a nobody, Yuta stepped in as his first investor, believing in his dreams and his potential. Mark is managed by a man named Kim Doyoung who specializes in vocal performance and Jung Jaehyun who works under production and dance. Together, they worked on Mark's first solo which became a hit and the song stayed in the national platform for 18 weeks. It was the start of success and also exhaustion. Donghyuck can see how tired the other is. He can barely see him during the day and Mark's too tired to call him at night. But, on the good side, Mark seems to be really happy with his projects. 

'There were a lot of fans today at the Music Station when I passed by' Johnny states, amazed at his cousin's success, 'I bet you received a lot of gifts.'

'I got about 10 of them today, and the fans came for the host, not for me. You know that famous comedian Lee Kwang Soo.' Mark says, rubbing his nape. 

Taeyong smiles sweetly at the younger, 'Still as humble as ever'

They tease Mark again about his new promotional video, and as the night turns darker, Donghyuck finds himself cleaning the plates while Johnny and Yuta heads to the guestroom to rest. 'Donghyuckie, I'll just prepare Johnny and Yuta's room okay? Is it alright if I leave you for awhile?' Taeyong tells him, worried.

Donghyuck smiles as he nods, 'No need to worry about me hyung. I'm alright'

Taeyong pouts, pinching his cheeks and kissing his forehead, 'Of course I worry. I'll be quick'

'Take your time' Donghyuck laughs as the older man runs to the guest room, leaving Donghyuck on the sink washing plates. He hears footsteps getting closer and wonders if the older is actually back. 'Hyung, I'm really alright..'

'Sunshine'

Donghyuck freezes, and then his face turns red. He's not sure if he should face the other or not because he's so embarrassed that he likes the endearment so much. Mark started calling him after singing his new song ' Baby Don't Like it ' to him. 'Sunshine' Mark repeats as he stands behind the smaller one, kissing the tan male's nape. Donghyuck forces himself to focus on his task, 'Hmm?'

'I miss you today so much,' Mark tells him, and he sounds anxious and nervous. 

Donghyuck cranes his neck to reply, 'I miss you too a lot'

But it's not only Mark's voice which is troubled, his face says likewise. 'What's wrong?' Donghyuck questions, wiping his hands clean and turning to face the other. Mark crowds him against the sink, 'I haven't been able to talk to you for days. I was worried you'd get lonely' he confesses, blinking his puppy eyes at the younger one. Donghyuck scoffs playfully, 'I'm too busy to get lonely'

Mark grins, kissing his cheek chastely, but he still looks anxious. Donghyuck wonders what the real reason is. 'Hey, you can tell me anything. I won't get mad.'

Mark looks like he's going through some conflict in his own head, furrowed eyebrows as he closes and opens his mouth like a fish. After a while, he deems it his defeat as he sighs, 'I'm… I was asked to perform for an opening act in a big concert. You know WayV, that group who's been on top of the music industry since last year. After that, I'm given the opportunity to work on a collaboration project with the famous singer Moon Taeil in the same company. A lot's been happening, it's overwhelming'

Donghyuck raises his hands to hold Mark's face on his palms, smiling proudly. No words can ever express the feeling Donghyuck's having for seeing how much Mark has grown in just a couple of months. The taller one might seem like he's always standing on shaky legs, but deep inside he knows, Mark wouldn't have made it this far without his strength to continue. Donghyuck's just so proud of him. 'You're doing so well Mark. Look at you, performing for others and creating music with well-known singers. Be proud of yourself.'

Mark frowns deepen and he doesn't look assured, 'I am. I'm just… I will have to stay in the United States for 3 weeks' he finally drops the news he's anxious about. 

Donghyuck hopes his face didn't show any sadness, but he can't help it. So that's the reason he's anxious , Donghyuck thought to himself and now he can feel himself being troubled and scared, we're going to be apart from each other for a long while . He's not really sure what to feel. Mark grounds him and makes him feel like he's always home, but being away from each other is a little scary especially when he has a problem with being left behind.

'It's going to be my first time without you with me' Mark says softly, and Donghyuck's surprised to see that the taller seems to be more scared than he is. 'I'm a little scared. I'm not sure if I can do it.'

Ah , Donghyuck blinks as realization sinks inside his head. I understan d. He pulls Mark closer to him, connecting their foreheads together, Mark is scared of being away just like me. I'm not the only one feeling this anxiety. He also needs me like I need him. 'Mark' he pressed their lips gently, longer than the other times they did, 'You know, I'm so proud of you. So do your best and then come back, cuz I'll always wait for you' The tan male says, and he hopes he conveyed all the love he had through his words. He's not that good at expressing his love yet but he hopes Mark can perceive it, like he always does. 

Mark's tears roll down, as if the dam of his feeling has broken, 'I'm.. I'm scared. Oh gosh, I'm scared' and he cries and cries, burying his nose on Donghyuck's neck, trying to calm himself down with the tan male's smell. Donghyuck just rubs and rubs his back, soothing him with his soft voice, reminding him that he'll be alright. 

'We'll keep in touch' Donghyuck kisses his wet cheeks, cradling his head on his chest, 'And I'll watch your shows, so don't worry.'

Mark sniffs, eyes red. He steps back to retrieve his overloaded bag, fumbling on it as he searches for something. Donghyuck waits for him patiently. Sometime during the start of their relationship, he realized that for someone who spouts a lot of words through music, Mark is unexplainably anxious and overwhelmed with talking. And when the taller one closes in on himself especially when under pressure, Donghyuck understood the virtue of waiting. 

Mark returns to him with a small velvet box, hands trembling but his tears have ceased. Donghyuck glimmers at the unsuspecting gift, wishing his excitement isn't obvious. He waits for Mark to open the box for him, and the struggle to wait is challenging as the taller one opens it with shaking hands.

'Hyuck,' Mark starts in a small voice, still so anxious and scared that Donghyuck just wants to hug him and protect him. 'Sunshine' Mark continues, 'I know you've been through a lot, being left behind and living your life out of someone else's commands. You told me that if you live by others' expectations, you won't find yourself, but I know I always find myself in you and in your love.' Mark turns crimson, and it's adorable and very rare for the older to openly confess his love through words, he always does it through his songs. 'But I'm not amazing enough for you, and I worry that my incompetence will leave you wanting for more.'

Donghyuck can feel tears in his eyes. When was Mark this eloquent with words? , he thought to himself in amazement, open-mouthed as the other stared back at him. 'But I promise to get better and make you proud. So…' Mark lifts the box to reveal a couple rings, in each of the rings is engraved ' Home '. 'Donghyuck, I won't be here for a while but keep me in your heart with this ring.'

Donghyuck picks the ring from the box, sliding it on his middle finger. He stares at it in awe, speechless. 

'D-do you like it? You know my managers know that I have a lover and when I opened up to them about the thought of being away from each other, they gave me this idea of giving you a promise ring you know.' Mark rambles on, his words fast and quick like he is rapping. 'This might give you a sense of confirmation that I will never leave you or—'

'Mark' Donghyuck giggles through his tears, 'I love it a lot.'

Mark watches in awe as the tan male kisses his promise ring with tears flowing down his cheeks. Before he can stop himself, his mouth voices out the words he'd love to repeat to the other, 'I love you'

Donghyuck smiles at him tenderly, 'I love you too baby'

They pull each other closer, like magnets attracted to each other. Mark hugs him tight and Donghyuck does the same, wanting to feel him as much as he can before he leaves for a long time. 

A cough separates them and when they turn to the door leading to the living room, Taeyong, Johnny and Yuta are giggling with red faces. 

'Don't mind us!' Yuta yells happily as the other two agree. 

All of them erupt in laughter, and Donghyuck held onto Mark tighter, wishing this could last. But he shakes his head, because loving Mark is walking on thin rope and never looking down, and instead staring at the taller's eyes, trusting in his promises. 

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

Being away from each other is difficult on both sides, but one glance at their promise ring is enough to push them further for more, eager to grow and improve. Mark shows in every concert as an opening for the popular group WayV, and then proceeds to work through his exhaustion with his upcoming new song with the famous soloist Moon Taeil. As Donghyuck watches his exposures in different international shows, he also continues on with his studies and lectures. 

But it's been a particularly hard day of being far away, and three weeks is still a long time, Donghyuck's at the end of his wits. He needs Mark. 

'Alright, let's take a breather' Donghyuck announces, his head is throbbing from how much he missed the other and to top it all, he also has some deadlines for lectures with the upcoming winter break of his students. 

'Professor, is it alright to watch online? There's a concert we cannot miss!' One of his students asks pleadingly and then the rest of them turns to him with puppy- eyes. He sighs with a smile, 'Alright. But make sure not to scream or else other professors will hear' he reminds them.

His students shouts in utter silence making him laugh and they scramble towards the screen projector, connecting one of their iphones. 

Donghyuck resumes with his task, checking their research. His midway through a very messy related article when the voice he's been wanting to hear flows through his ears, loud and clear. 

He hears his students squeal and fangirl to themselves as his lover appears on the screen for his special performance. 

'Wow! He's so hot!' One of his students screams as lowly as he can, and they gush to themselves, 'Look, he got a new haircut!'

'Isn't he just seductive? Especially with that button-down shirt'

'He's so creative! His lyrics were so lit!'

Donghyuck watches in awe as his students adore his boyfriend, and he can't deny the truth, he does look seductive. His new haircut is a clean crop and he recently dyed his hair blonde, it's a perfect look for a perfect person like Mark. 

'Prof! Prof! Do you also listen to him?' One of his students asks. 

Donghyuck smiles back, 'I hear it from the school station sometimes. It looks like he's a famous guy'

'He is!' They reply in unison, 'He's a new star but he already reached number 1 in Melon and stayed there for 18 weeks!'

Donghyuck wonders if Mark knows how much he is known. Maybe a break for the rapper at this time is hardly possible especially with his rising fame. 

But maybe there's always time for someone special to him.

'Hello' Donghyuck greets when Mark calls that night. It was his last performance and then after two days he'll be back in Korea and then continue working on his new single. 'Hello Sunshine' Mark replies through the video call, voice scratchy and hoarse, probably from all the tiring rapping he did earlier. It's ironic he's calling Donghyuck sunshine when it's night time in the other's place. 

'Shouldn't you be resting?' Donghyuck questions playfully, although he really wants to talk with the other, he can see Mark's eyebags and slump figure. The make-up did a pretty good job concealing his exhaustion. 

'I need to hear your voice' Mark answers sincerely, his smile lopsided, 'I'll get to see you in two days'

Donghyuck leans close, blushing. 'We'll catch up then, so you better sleep a lot.'

Mark hums, leaning on his bed frame, just staring at the other through his half-lidded eyes. Donghyuck lets him be, continuing with his task of folding his clothes. It's a hectic week, Johnny finally managed to buy a new house and Taeyong has been excited to live with the other properly. Which leaves Donghyuck on his own again. But he didn't feel anxious because Taeyong said Mark already bought an apartment in an expensive penthouse for suspicious reasons (which Donghyuck already assumes the reason for). Even if his mother wasn't a good parent, he doesn't have the heart to sell their apartment so he chose to just make it a storage room. 

'Did you know, Yuta hyung is posting your photos in his clubs. He's also promoting your albums in the bars. He's such a supportive friend, isn't he Mark?' Donghyuck recalls all the time he visited the club only to see Yuta actively promoting his friend's new songs, 'He's such an angel, also Taeyong hyung and Johnny hyung. I'm glad you have them with you.'

When Mark doesn't reply, Donghyuck knows it's because the other is already asleep but left his phone to listen to the younger. So the tan male continues to talk even with the other sleeping. It's their quiet time together. 

'A year ago, I didn't know life outside my mom's orders. And then I saw you.' Donghyuck releases a relieved sigh, 'You don't know how much you captivated me. I could watch you all day and be still in love. I love you so much.'

Silence is comfortable and Donghyuck's happy he gets to share it with his lover. 

And then there's a low whisper, very soft that Donghyuck wouldn't have heard if he wasn't leaning on his bedside table where his phone is perched as he put their things inside the cabinet.

'I love you too, so much Sunshine' is Mark's tired yet awake reply. 

Donghyuck peeks at his phone, surprised to see the other awake who is now rubbing his eyes. He smiles at the other, sending him a flying kiss which Mark playfully captures through his camera. 

He can wait. Two days isn't long. Just a little more. 

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

The first thing Mark said when he stepped down the airplane and saw his friends and lover waiting for him with smiles on their faces were 'Let's go to Jeju'. 

After being apart for three weeks, Mark didn't even try to hide the fact that he missed his lover (if his clinginess isn't proof enough) and that he really wanted to go on a vacation with his friends. 

'I mean, your single is still on Melon even if it's been months' Johnny states proudly, obviously hinting about his successful and enormous savings. Mark roll his eyes at his cousin's teasing, but he didn't deny the assumption. Afterall, he does have some spare money to treat all of his friends for a trip to Jeju. His savings are probably enough.

Scheduling and booking didn't take a lot of time, and Mark is happy to watch his friends excitedly talk about their upcoming vacation. 

Later that night, with Mark crashing on Donghyuck's almost empty flat, after a long staring battle with his beautiful lover, he gathers the courage to bring up something big to him.

'Sunshine' Mark starts as they lay beside each other, with Donghyuck nuzzling against his arm with a fond smile 'Yes?'

Mark use to confess all his feelings and anxieties through his songs, but this specific topic, he wants to power through the fear because he knows, atleast he knows, that Donghyuck will always understand him. He trusts in the other so much, it's just that he's always scared. 'You know I helped Johnny hyung buy his new house. Not that I'm boasting, I'm just thanking him for taking care of me' Mark hates himself for spluttering the second he starts talking.

Donghyuck giggles, tilting up to kiss his chin. 'I know, you're like his brother'

Mark grins nervously, 'W-well, what do you think of him sharing a house with Taeyong hyung?'

Donghyuck leans on his elbows, thinking. 'Well, they are lovers so I guess it's pretty normal'

Mark coughs awkwardly and then they stare at each other with complete silence. It's Donghyuck who breaks the intense staring battle as he giggles, high and pitchy. Mark reddens with embarrassment, feeling shy. 'W-wait.. why are you..?'

'Ask me' Donghyuck tells him, his eyes shining with knowingness that if Mark lies he knows he'd be caught. His lover can see through him clearly. 'I.. well..' Mark gulps, rubbing his nape but finding it hard to look away from the tan beauty's mesmerizing eyes. 

Donghyuck patiently waits for him, like he always does. 

So Mark takes a deep breath, 'Donghyuck, is it alright if I ask you to live with me? It will make me really happy if we can be together and you won't have to be alone anymore'

Donghyuck inches closer to kiss his mole, murmuring to his skin, 'I'm not alone anymore Mark. I have you and our friends' and then he bends down oh-so-slowly, letting their lips touch in the most tender kiss they've shared, 'And yes, please have me'

Mark grins happily, hugging the other tight. They cuddle with each other, resting in each other's embrace. 

'By the way, how about this apartment? Are you going to sell it?' Mark asks. Donghyuck's apartment which was their home before his mom was taken away is filled with memories, the good and bad. Donghyuck lays on his chest, 'I cannot sell this place. It's the only place for me where I have memories related to my biological parents. But, I'll have it as a storage room since it's already been paid. I'll keep the things we don't need here.'

Mark snuggles closer, 'Just do whatever you want'

Donghyuck wonders how beautiful his life has been since he met Mark. They were both lost, and finding themselves wasn't that easy but it was possible. Now they're here. He hopes nothing will ever ruin his peace.

Life is still scary and everyday is uncertain, but it doesn't matter because they have each other. 

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

'Donghyuck, sit down' Taeyong pointedly tells the tan male, authoritative as he squeezes the lotion into his hands. The younger boy tries to pout his way out but one look at the older's eyes made him surrender. 'Are you seriously going into the water without sunscreen?' The older asks in an incredulous tone as if the other is going to do something stupid. 

Renjun who's beside them is just cackling, knowing that indeed, Donghyuck is going into the water without it. Not because he's excited about the water. But because his lover Mark is already in the water. 

'Oh my gosh, your romance can wait for a minute,' Taeyong jokes as he carefully rubs lotion on Donghyuck's arms. 

Mark, Jeno, Johnny and Yuta are already on the water, splashing water with each other like some teenage girls. 

They arrived in Jeju 4 days after Mark's arrival. It was a tiring landing, Mark was exhausted and hadn't had enough rest so instead of heading directly to the beach, they took some stroll and got acquainted with their new surroundings.  The third day, they finally went to the beach.

‘Careful’ Taeyong reminds the two young male, frantic like a mother hen. Renjun and Donghyuck can only giggle as they playfully tease the older about his nagging. Planting footsteps on the sand, Donghyuck happily watches in amazement as the water washes away his footprints. Living is so nice , he thought but not because it is life in general, rather the people in his life made it beautiful. ‘Look! Little crabs!’ Renjun screams merrily, obviously enjoying their outing.

Donghyuck follows his friend to the waters, careful of his steps. He can hear Jeno shouting from a distance, already floating in a deeper area away from them. Just as he takes another step forward, he slips in a rock and feels himself fall to the side when strong arms wrap around his waist, preventing his fall. He can hear his Taeyong hyung shouting about being careful but Donghyuck can’t concentrate well because his focus is on Mark’s insanely handsome face so close to him, his smile blinding as the sun behind him blazes like a background. ‘Careful’ Mark mouths making the tan male blush. He pushes a hand against Mark’s chest only to  blush harder when he feels how tight and firm it is. 

‘You alright Hyuck?’ Yuta questions worriedly as he swims to them after seeing what happened earlier.

Donghyuck pushes himself away, still ridiculously aware of Mark’s stare at him from beside him, ‘Y-yeah, just a little slippery’

Yuta raises an eyebrow, ‘You can hang onto me if the water is too deep’

Donghyuck wishes the redness of his face isn’t that noticeable because he really can’t provide a more valid response for how flustered he is being surrounded by his friends who actually look hot and wet, especially his lover Mark. ‘I got him, don’t worry’ Mark supplies in his silence, noticing how flustered his boyfriend is. When Yuta swims away to join Johnny and Taeyong in the sand, Mark looms over Donghyuck, frowning, ‘You were blushing with Yuta-hyung’ he says almost dejectedly, except he masks it like a question. The tan male widens his eyes in surprise, and then his cheeks turns red once again. He knew Mark did some intense training with improving  his physical looks (it’s a requirement by the management) but it seems like he wasn’t that aware of how much his boyfriend has changed. ‘I-I’m not blushing because of him!’ Donghyuck contradicts, wishing his lover didn’t misunderstand him. Was he jealous?

Donghyuck can see how hard the taller one is trying to stop his pout, obviously not believing the tan male.

Donghyuck kinda wishes the sea would just swallow him. He can’t believe confessing the thought of thinking his boyfriend is hot outside with people swimming beside them is a possibility of happening, but alas, surprise is Mark's specialty when it comes down to it. ‘Y-you.. Gosh, you look so hot like this okay.’ Donghyuck grumbles cutely, squinting at him through the heat of the sun, ‘And I wasn’t blushing because of Yuta-hyung! I was blushing because your chest is too firm and toned and it made me think what would it feel like for me to touch your arms too-’

Mark leans to peck his lips, satisfied with his confession. Unlike Donghyuck who is blushing from how flustered he is, Mark’s smile is bright and satisfied. ‘Good. Keep your eyes on me baby’

Donghyuck can only scoff, cheeks still burning, ‘As if I’d take them off of you’

Jeju is beautiful, but Donghyuck’s far more enchanting than any place Mark’s been into. When he was in the United States for his promotional performance, all he could think about was taking his lover and friends to a very nice place. He has been working hard for it, and although he is still too far from his goal, he knows he deserves a treat and a break. Fortunately, his managers Doyoung and Jaehyun were very satisfied with his performance and let him have a vacation. When Donghyuck said yes on living with him, Mark’s new goal was to ask the smaller one to.. Well, to tie the knot with him. But he thinks it’s still a little too early and Donghyuck’s occupied with his job as a researcher and they were still a little too young. 

Still, seeing and being with Donghyuck, his muse, gave him a lot of inspiration to write more songs. 

‘Mark, what should we get?’ Donghyuck asks as they scan the menu. Jeno’s laughing beside him as Renjun orders what he wants to eat, and even with the loud noise of background music, Mark certainly knows he is happy. His older cousin Johnny is with him and his mentor Taeyong looks the happiest he has been, and his supportive hyung Yuta who never doubted his ability is taking a break with him. 

Mark’s too busy daydreaming when he feels a nudge on his elbow. When he turns to face his friends, he sees all of them smirking teasingly. ‘What’s wrong?’ He asks in confusion. Donghyuck giggles beside him, ‘Listen’ the smaller whispers, and when he did listen, he feel his heart go into overdrive. The music playing is his single ‘ Child ’. ‘Look around you’ Donghyuck adds softly, proudly looking at him. So Mark does look around because his lover is looking at him with so much love and pride. 

The people all had smiles on their faces and instead of talking loud like what they were doing earlier, they are all silent like they were just listening to the music and basking on it. 

‘Look Mark’ Taeyong tells him softly, ‘Look what your music is to others’

Mark can feel tears on his cheeks but he doesn’t want to admit that he did that. His dream as a child has always been a far-fetched thought and wasn't supported by his parents, but look where you are now Mark , Donghyuck whispers to his wet cheeks. 

‘Excuse me’ A girl walks to them, shy and nervous, ‘I’m sorry but you look like Mark Lee, the one who sang this song’

Mark blinks his eyes rapidly, unsure what to do. His manager always handles his fans and he kinda guess he’s not that famous yet because he just came out recently. ‘W-well.. Y-yeah, I’m Mark Lee’

The girl squeals happily, clapping her hands. ‘Oh my! I’m a fan of yours!’ she grabs her handkerchief, ‘If it’s alright, can I have your autograph?’

Mark nods timidly, signing the handkerchief. His hyungs are laughing teasingly, Jeno is clapping his hands proudly while Renjun takes a photo of the happening. Only Donghyuck is watching him silently still, fond eyes directed to his lover. He also moved a safe distance from the other to give some space for Mark’s fan. When the fan finally went away, Mark turns to Donghyuck, eyes glassy. ‘Hyuck..’ he calls, a little anxious. Donghyuck reaches for his hand, squeezing it softly, ‘I’m here’

Mark nods as his anxiety slips away. His muse is here. ‘Right, here’

That night, as they wait for the bonfire to be lit, Donghyuck and Mark sit  beside each other, feeling the bite of cold breeze in their skin and the lick of water in their toes. The stars are shining so bright but the brightest star sits beside Mark, and he wonders everyday how such beauty decides to orbit around him. ‘Stop staring’ Donghyuck mumbles, but his cheeks are red. Mark grins foolishly, like a fool in love, ‘No. I don't want'

Donghyuck brushes a piece of stray hair out of his face, facing Mark as his sparkling orbs look back at Mark. Oh, such beauty , Mark thought as he waited for the other to speak. Donghyuck bit his lips, as if nervous, and Mark hopes he isn’t that obvious hiding the need of wanting to kiss the tan male so much. ‘Mark, there’s something I wanted to ask you’ Donghyuck tells him softly, and if Mark isn’t focusing hard enough, he would’ve missed the words from how soft it was delivered. 

‘Hmm’ Mark hums back, eager to hear more.

Donghyuck quirks a smile as happiness dances in his eyes. Mark’s breath halts in his throat because Donghyuck looks so happy and so ethereal that it takes his breath away. ‘Mark, will you ma-’

‘Excuse me’

Mark really really wants to rip his hair out with how frustrated he is. It was their time! Under glittering sky and warm bodies, Mark’s so close to asking Donghyuck to marry him when this stranger walks to them, disrupting their talk.

‘Yes?’ Mark plasters the most polite smile he can muster although he’s second from screaming. Can’t people read the mood? Let the man have his romantic time with his lover please! Mark screams inside his head, mentally infuriated. 

The man smiles at him, ‘My daughter said she saw you earlier in the restaurant. She’s a big fan of yours. And now she saw you again, maybe it’s fate but we’re hoping we could take a photo with you?’ 

Mark knows he’s not allowed to take photos with fans without his manager’s approval. He can see the girl from earlier hiding behind her father’s back, blushing red. As he thinks about how to properly decline the invite, he hears Donghyuck’s small gasp. When he glances at the other, his blood runs cold when he sees the ta male with tears in his eyes. ‘Donghyuck, what’s wrong?’ he asks but the smaller one is springing on his feet before running away, leaving Mark with the strangers. So Mark follows his lover, apologizing to the father and his daughter before dashing after the other. He sees Renjun on the way to their hotel room, looking anxious as he is. ‘Donghyuck’s.. crying?’ the smaller one tells him and asks him the same time. 

Mark bit his lips nervously, knocking on their room door. ‘Sunshine?’ 

No one answers but he can hear Donghyuck’s painful sob and his heart clenches painfully with how the other male is trying so hard to quiet down his cries. Johnny rescues him by giving him the hotel keys, telling him that everything will be alright and that he’ll manage the other’s while they’re gone. When he opens the door, Donghyuck curls more to himself, as if wanting to disappear. ‘Hyuck?’ he calls softly, sitting beside the other. ‘Tell me what’s wrong?’

Donghyuck sniffs, shivering and trembling and with his broken voice he says, ‘M-my father’

Mark furrows his eyebrows, confused. ‘Father? What happened?’. Donghyuck has  been open about his parent’s negligence when they became a couple and it will always be a traumatic memory for the smaller one. His father went away when he was 10, and since then, never in his life has he shown his face nor spoke to his biological son. Donghyuck lived his life thinking he was unwanted by people he shared the same blood with. ‘What’s wrong Sunshine?’

Donghyuck sobs wrecks his small frame, ‘M-my father.. was that man earlier’

Mark can only freeze in every mix of emotion. Anger, frustration, confusion and shockness. He knows how hard it is for Donghyuck to live and move on from what happened to his mother, but then now he saw his father accidentally, looking like he lived a good life with a new family. He knows it’s too much. ‘Oh baby’ Mark’s voice cracks as he cradles the lump of body in the bed, hugging the smaller one as his tears fall, ‘I’m sorry’

Donghyuck cries and cries until his voice is hoarse but Mark doesn’t let go. He knows Donghyuck is shattering into pieces at this very moment, so Mark wants to be the glue that keeps him together. Afterall, broken crayons still color the same. 

When Donghyuck emerges from his self-cocoon, it’s already midnight. But both him and Mark are wide awake with red-rimmed eyes and equally hoarse voice. ‘Sunshine’ Mark greets him forlornly, opening his arms wide to finally hug him without the blanket separating them. Donghyuck sniffs and crawls inside the other’s embrace, burying his face against Mark’s chest. ‘Mark’ he starts, voice small and scared, ‘I’m afraid of being abandoned. Why do they leave me? Why do they pretend I don’t exist? Why are they so….’ Mark cuts him off before he can even say strange things. ‘That’s not true. You have me and our friends. I will never leave you. Never’

Donghyuck bit his lips, emotionally drained. ‘Why did they even give birth to me?’

And at that, Mark kisses him, careful and gentle. His lips are soft against the smaller’s pliant ones. ‘Hyuck, look at me’ Mark tells him before he sings the words he loves to tell the other, Remember the us, us in this moment. Always like this, together, forever . Donghyuck breaks into another sob at hearing the song dedicated to him, clutching tight around Mark. 

‘Sunshine, I can never erase the sad and painful memories you experience.’ Mark whispers against Donghyuck’s sweaty hairline, a hand on his nape so that he can lean and kiss his tears away, ‘But I’ll be here everyday, every step you take today and onward, I’ll be here and I’ll try to fill it with happiness. To make you happy. It’s okay to cry but tomorrow, I’ll make sure to make you smile for the rest of your life’

Donghyuck manages a smile even with how sad his face is. He kisses the arch of Mark’s lips, fragile and vulnerable, he whispers back, ‘I love you Mark’

‘I love you too Hyuck’ Mark hugs him closer so that he can feel his heartbeat. He can hear Taeyong knocking on their door, it’s been like that for the past hours. All of their friends checked on them every 30 minutes, making sure they’re alright. 

‘Hey Mark’ Donghyuck cradles him closer, where his heart is beating wildly. ‘I..I’d like that.. Make me smile for the rest of my life, please’

There were many different nights but with the same nightmares that traumatized Mark before he made it to where he is now. His dreams were never impossible to reach, but it was still a hard road. He knew that loving rap and music isn’t going to be a walk-in-a-park, just like loving Donghyuck, it wasn’t going to be that simple, but damn was it worth it. Mark will fight everyday to hold tighter to his dreams and Donghyuck. 

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

Coming back home, Mark and Donghyuck continue on with their lives. Their plan on moving to their new apartment is on the go, ao the both of them started clearing out the tan male's ols apartment, bringing some of his things and leaving others behind. Their friends were energetic and eager to help, joining them as soon as they came back. And while Donghyuck's still on edge, whenever he feels anxious on his own, he'd automatically look for his lover who'd catch his eyes with a comforting smile.

But some things still need closure. On the last day of their moving, Donghyuck's father came to fetch him.

'Excuse me' Johnny says when he opens the door, furrowing his eyebrows. He has heard Donghyuck's sad life multiple times, but still even when repeated, it never failed to pain him. To think how much the younger one went through just because his parents were stupid to care. 'You're.. Donghyuck's father?' He asks incredulously, not wanting to believe. Why come here all of a sudden? Out of all times, why today, when it's supposed to be a better day for his cousin and his lover. 

The man in front of him had the audacity to smile, and honestly, if Johnny didn't know Donghyuck's background, he would've thought this man is a good man. 'I am. I came to finally get him. Due to reasons, I was unable to get him since his mother is keeping him away from me'

I see , Johnny thought angrily, understanding what the old man is scheming. You are making it sound like you weren't given liberty to see your one and only son because of your ex-wife?. If Taeyong wasn't behind him, he would've punched the man out of the building. 

Johnny and Taeyong share a look of concern, thinking of what to do. Except they don't need to as Donghyuck steps out of his room and into the living room, accidentally seeing the visitor at the door. If it's not too traumatizing enough, his father calls for him like they've known each other their whole lives. 'Donghyuck! My son! I came to talk to you!'

The tan male loses his grip around the frame he is holding, falling down on the floor and shattering the cover. 

It was his family picture when he was a kid. 

Too stunned to speak, Donghyuck catches Mark's hand, gripping it tight as his color fades, paling in mortification. Mark leans to whisper in his ear, comforting him as he rubs his back. The father, obviously wanting to get his attention, rudely steps in the apartment and then heads towards the tan male. 'Donghyuck' the man starts, opening his arms wide, 'I came to pick you up, my son'

Donghyuck's trembling in fear, eyes unfocused. Mark can hear how ragged the other's breathing is. 'Sunshine' he whispers, kissing his forehead making the old man frown, 'It's alright. I'm here'

Donghyuck squeezes his eyes tight, nodding. And then he turn around only to feel a headache when he sees that his stupid father had the nerve to bring his new family inside his apartment. The girl who is Mark's fan even waves at the rapper. 'You…' Donghyuck starts, glaring at his father, 'Let's talk privately'

His father raises an eyebrow, shocked at the rude tone directed at him. 'Please, let's do it in a family way' he replies, trying to calm the smaller as he ushers both his new wife and her daughter to his side. 

Donghyuck wants to vomit. 'You.. really have the nerve to talk'

The man frowns at him, obviously not expecting that his biological son would talk to him like that. 'I came here to pick you up as part of our family. '

'Family? Right.' Donghyuck scoffs, tugging Mark and motioning his friends to the couches, 'Alright, talk to me and my family'

The man grits his teeth when the others follow what the tan male says. Sitting on the couch with his hands interlaced tightly with Mark's, Donghyuck takes a deep breath. He wonders what would his mother say now that her husband finally came to visit them? Or him, proclaiming to finally pick him up because he was scared of  his ex-wife? What bullshit. 'Speak' Donghyuck says coldly, 'I don't have all the time to hear you sugarcoated things. What do you need?'

His father coughs, raising his eyebrows at the challenging tone. 'Donghyuck, is that how your mother taught you. To talk back to your parents.'

Donghyuck laughs mockingly, and he wants to cry. His mother was never the best parent but atleast she stayed. 'You came here, proudly saying you're picking me up, from what exactly?'

Dnghyuck hates how calm and all-smiles his father's new family is, as if they're gonna get away with the things they want just because they look kind and polite. 

'Donghyuck, your mother was the one at fault here. When we divorced, I asked her to surrender you to me since she's unstable. But she didn't want to and so I left. She was mentally ill." His father explains softly, but the tan male can only scoff, wondering how someone so old can lie right at his face. Trying to paint me a naive and dense kid? . 'My ill mother fed me, took me to school and made me perfect. You know why, because you cheated. You made her life miserable! It's all your fault!'

Losing temper, his father storms to him as if wanting to slap him, but Johnny, Yuta and Johnny cover the other before he could, all with raging eyes. 'Your mother lied to you!' He screams, angry at being shamed. 

'And you neglected me' Donghyuck says back, staring at his father, 'You came back because mother's properties are going to be passed.' Fortunately, her properties were never conjugal properties. It was the only good decision she made before she became mentally ill. His father now looks wary, as if he's been caught. He's sweating and shaking his hands nervously, eyes diverting from his wife to Donghyuck, 'W-we didn't come here for that. We…'

'Donghyuck' His new wife interrupts, stepping infront. She's beautiful and elegant, a very different class from his mother who only likes to scream and hurt him. 'We heard about what happened to your mother. I talked with your father and as a mother, I know how much a child needs their parent's guidance. That is why we came here. We are here as family.' She said with so much passion, and Donghyuck would've bite the bait if he wasn't so busy staring at her daughter who has her eyes glued to Mark.

Donghyuck replies, just as politely. 'I see'

'That's right. We're your allies, not enemies. We're here to help you recover' She says almost too eagerly. 

'Allies?' Donghyuck wonders, smiling at her. He crinkles his eyes at her, sarcasm in his tongue, 'I don't need it.'

'Donghyuck!' His father bellows angrily, 'How dare you disrespect her? She's going to be your mother! She's a better parent!'

Donghyuck knows his friends are watching. He recalls Mark telling him to do whatever he wants. It is his life and the one who was abandoned was him, never his father nor his new family. If there's one thing his mother was correct, is that he is indeed perfect for such a broken family filled with lies and greediness. 'Mother? You were never my family nor my father' Donghyuck stands infront of him, raising his eyebrows at him, tilting his head at the old man as if challenging him, 'That's right, you will never be a better parent. My mother fed me perfection in the morning and made me bleed in the night. You won't ever understand how I endured all those things just because you decided you don't love her anymore.'

'Donghyuck, you are my son—'

'Get out' Donghyuck growls, eyes directly staring at the strangers inside his apartment. 

'Donghyuck, please—'

'Get out!' He repeats louder, making everyone still inside, obviously surprised at his shout. He frowns at his father, bitterness covering his face, baring his teeth at him, 'Get out of my apartment and never ever dare show your face to me or my family again'

His father glowers back at him but Donghyuck's intense glare makes him step back, defeated like the coward he is. He turns away, not even sparing the tan boy another glance. His new wife whips her head back and forth, conflicted, 'Donghyuck, please this is not what you think…' she begs, laying her hands on the smaller but Donghyuck swats her away. 'Don't touch me' he hisses.

Johnny steps forward, shielding the smaller one behind him, 'You heard him. Please leave'

'This…' she bit her lips, trying to find an excuse. Her daughter is ashamed as she has her head down, and his husband is already at the front door.

But Donghyuck is just disgusted at her pitiful state, mocking her, 'Why don't you beg your husband for help?''

And at that, she snapped her mouth closed, understanding that she lost the battle. She and her daughter follow his husband out of the apartment, head down filled with shame. Donghyuck knows it's all his father's fault but nothing tastes better than rejection in return. He never intended for this to happen nor he ever thought of this situation, but alas, it still happened. Donghyuck's kind and polite, but he's not a saint. And punishments are justifiably given to those who wronged him. 

Aa soon as the family walks out, Donghyuck collapse on his knees, shaking in relief. Everyone scrambles to tend to him, all worried yet relieved. 

'Quick! Get me some towels and water!' Taeyong commands as he pulls Donghyuck against his chest, Renjun running to the bathroom while the others give them some space. Donghyuck curls closer, tears on his cheeks but Mark's thumb is softly rubbing against his knuckles, even kissing his closed fist as they calm him down.

It felt like breathing underwater, struggling to breathe but Taeyong's soft voice and Mark's gentle caress is all he needs to be reminded that everything will be alright.

♥MARK♡HYUCK♥

After that terrorizing day, Donghyuck found himself surrounded by his friends more often than usual. Even when he's just going to the bathroom, one of his friends would follow him just to make sure he's alright. It's really funny. They resumed moving his things to Mark's new apartment. He pretends not to see Jeno and Renjun's wiggling eyebrows when they help him fold and place his clothes into a shared closet for him and Mark. 

He knows they weren't together for a long time. 2 years isn't enough time to get married but Donghyuck knows, he knows oh too well, how much he desires to be with Mark. There is no need to wait for things to happen because Donghyuck knows he loves Mark and that he wants to spend forever with him.

They have a housewarming party for the couple, with Taeyong's dishes, snacks brought by the others, and even Mark's manager Doyoung and Jaehyun bringing wine to celebrate their moving. 

'Hello' Jaehyun greets as he steps inside the luxurious apartment, cake in his hands. 'And congratulations in moving Mark'

Mark sheepishly takes the gift, brightening at the appearance of his other manager. Doyoung, unlike Jaehyun, hates gatherings, but with a champagne in his hands as a gift, maybe he didn't dislike the idea of celebrating with people he knows. 

The apartment is placed on one of Seoul's most prestigious buildings, overlooking the city under blinking lights, Donghyuck knows he already loves his new home. 

'Mark, come on! Sing for us!' Yuta suggest, clapping enthusiastically. 

'Sing! Sing! Sing!'

Donghyuck giggles when they literally remove Mark away from him, wanting to hear him sing. He encourages his lover as he joins their cheer of enthusiasm, clapping with them. 

And when Mark looks at him with those eyes, the one filled with love and happiness , Donghyuck knows he's here to stay.

That night, after everyone managed to find a place to sleep in, Mark gathers Donghyuck in his arms as they look over the peaceful view of their city. It feels so comfortable and perfect that it made Donghyuck wonder how life turned different the day they met each other. 

Who knew Mark Lee, teacher's pet and the school nerd would be an idol rapper, claiming thousands of hearts and charting high on music charts?

Who would ever thought that Donghyuck who was broken inside but was deemed perfect on the surface would finally find a place and people to call family?

It was such a long way, and as Mark rapped in one of his song, it's a long ass ride . 

But the tunnel of life isn't ending like this. Life will always be a step forward for something new. 

'Sunshine' Mark whispers to him, his voice warm and homey, 'There's a song I made for you'

Donghyuck hums, expectantly waiting. 

Holding your small hand that's prettier than the ocean, 

This place where we're dreaming the same dream is paradise, 

I like your smile that's brighter than the stars,

This place where we're dreaming the same dream is paradise, 

He twirls the tan male so that they can face each other. Mark used to be filled with anxiety when singing his heart out, but he realizes that what he fears more than expressing his feelings is the thought of loosing the other. 

The warm song that is left in our memories, 

Riding on the wind, I run to you right now.

Donghyuck opens his eyes, and Mark's happy he can look at those beautiful orbs shining under his stare forever. 

He's thankful he can stay with the tan male forever. 

He's grateful he can love the other forever.

'Mark' Donghyuck says sweetly, lips pulled into a smile showcasing his plump lips and two cute tooth, 'Please marry me'

Mark is never a man of words. All expressions, all his feelings and even his anxieties were relayed through his songs. Donghyuck can always see through him, but even so, this specific conversation will need an on-point answers. 

'Yes Sunshine' Mark replies, leaning to kiss him soft and gentle. Warm, very warm even when it's almost Christmas. 

Donghyuck giggles at the taller one, cheeks dusting red. All his life, he never knew what family feels like. He was an unwanted being, lost in the face of the world. He once thought that his existence was a curse and that he didn't deserve to exist. 

But maybe I do , Donghyuck thought as he cradles Mark's face in his palms, I exists for you.

Cold breeze but warm hands, Mark knows where he is. Donghyuck, you're my paradise.

As if knowing and reading what's on his mind, Donghyuck stares back at his galaxy eyes, his orbs that orbits around the Sun, he kisses him again, excited for more because finally, I am home .