Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Captain on the field!"

Janeway paused just inside the holodeck doors as Chakotay's voice rang out, and she was struck speechless by the sight before her. The sun shone down brightly on a vast grassy field on which several tented pavilions had been set up. Two small canopied platforms with rows of elevated seats flanked the field on either side, and she could see that most of the seats were filled with both costumed crew members and holo- creations. On the left hand platform, front and center, was a beautifully carved wooden chair that had been festively decorated with flowers and streamers. Most astonishing of all, a row of mail-clad men on horseback were lined up across the field, each stiffly at attention.

Her first officer--similarly clad in shining mail, immaculate boots, and a long black and red paneled tunic, his head bare--was walking slowly towards her, B'Elanna at his side. Her chief engineer was wearing a long flowing gown of yellow that she had caught up in one hand, and a crown of daisies actually rested on her hair. What is going on? Janeway thought, looking around.

Chakotay drew in his breath sharply as Janeway entered, and then hid a smile at her stunned surprise. The long walk towards her gave him ample time to enjoy the sight of her in the dress B'Elanna has replicated and left in her quarters, along with a cryptic note to put it on and meet them on the holodeck at 1400 hours. The gown was a silvery blue--the color of her eyes, he thought--fitted tightly at the waist and flowing to the ground in a fuller skirt. Three quarter length sleeves showed slender wrists; the rounded collar just covered her shoulders and bared a large expanse of graceful neck. To his absolute delight, her hair was caught high at the back of her head with silver ribbons and fell to her shoulders in a mass of red-gold curls. Delicate silver filigreed jewelry sparkled at throat and ears.

Janeway waited for them to approach, one eyebrow slightly raised, a half-smile ghosting about her mouth. When they closed the gap to only a few feet, B'Elanna swept a curtsey to the ground before her, a wicked grin lifting her lips. Chakotay then held a hand out, and after a moment's hesitation, Janeway placed hers in it. Unlike the half-Klingon beside him, his face was completely serious as he bowed over her hand. Keeping hers tightly in his, he turned to face the field with her on his left.

"My friends," Chakotay called in the loudest voice she had ever heard him use, "May I present the Lady Kathryn, our liege! Welcome to this tournament which honors the day of her birth. A long and happy life to her!"

One of the mounted knights barked out a command, and as if one body, they raised their lances in a solemn salute. Seconds later the crowd was on its feet, cheering wildly. Janeway looked around at her assembled crew, tears stinging her eyes at the display they had arranged for her.

"Happy birthday, Kathryn," Chakotay said tentatively under the noise. She hadn't said anything yet, and he wasn't sure how she was reacting to the spectacle. "I know you don't like to have a fuss made, but the whole crew--"

Janeway turned to him, making no effort to hide the emotion on her face. "I'm honored, Chakotay. It's incredible." Her smile suddenly made the day brighter, and his own dimples flashed in response.

"You haven't seen anything yet." He made a gesture towards the knights, who began to move off the field. "Captain, if you'll follow B'Elanna, she'll take you to your seat."

Janeway nodded, picking up her gown in one hand and motioning B'Elanna ahead with the other. Her first officer bowed again as she moved off, and a laugh bubbled up from her chest. The whole crew in on this, she thought. I can't wait to see what happens.

"Here you are, Captain," B'Elanna said with a grin, leading her up to the beautiful wooden chair that overlooked everything. Now that she was closer, Janeway noticed another similarly carved chair next to her, and seven less elaborate ones in a row behind them. These nine chairs were separated from the rest of the stands by a set of beribboned rails. Janeway smiled and greeted the crew members who were seated in the vacinity, accepting good wishes and waves, and then carefully settled in her seat. B'Elanna sat in the chair next to her, glancing around at the crowd.

"Chakotay said you would want some explanations, so I am here to provide them for you. He said I should answer any questions you have."

Janeway nodded thoughtfully, a small smile on her face, the stress of the past weeks edging off a little. "The whole crew planned this?"

B'Elanna nodded. "The party was Harry's idea, and Tom wrote most of the program, which wasn't easy with Chakotay breathing down his neck all month." Her eyes widened a little, and Janeway knew she hadn't meant to say that. The engineer rushed on, "After the tournament, there's a banquet planned back at the castle."

"The castle?" the captain smiled wryly. "Lieutenant Paris must have been busy."

"There's jousting planned, and hand to hand combat, and some entertainment between. And whoever wins the tournament will be your "knight of the night", you could say--that's what this second chair is for. They will be the co-host of the banquet. Tom did a lot of research for this, it's very traditional," she added in response to Janeway's quizzical look. "Everything will be quite genuine. I think you're going to be surprised."

"I already am," Janeway said, her smile spreading. The crew had done this for her. She had always been wary about joining in their after-work activities, not wanting them to feel inhibited because of the presence of their captain, and they had planned this whole day for her. "Have the shifts been arranged so that everyone can attend for awhile?"

"Chakotay took care of everything."

I bet he did, Janeway thought, her eyes seeking and quickly finding the dark head of her first officer on the other side of the field. He seemed to be conferring with one of the "knights," and then she saw him turn away and gesture to someone else who stepped forward and cupped his hands over his mouth.

"The first joust will commence immediately! Sir Harry of Kim and his Grace Thomas, Duke of Paris!"

Two mailed figures rode out onto the field, one taking a position at the far end. The other, however, rode his horse right up to the stands where Janeway and B'Elanna sat and dismounted, pulling his helmet off with one gloved hand. The sun glinted off Paris' blonde hair as he walked forward towards the stand.

"I would beg a favor, milady," he said loudly to B'Elanna, a twinkle in his eye. She flushed furiously, a dangerous gleam lighting her eyes.

"A what?"

Janeway leaned over to her, getting into the spirit of things. "A favor, Lieutenant. In medieval times it was customary for a lady to give a token to a knight going off to battle if she had great affection for him."

B'Elanna flushed even darker at her words, looking at her and then back at Paris who waited patiently. "What do I give him?" she hissed at Janeway, her indecision and self-consciousness palpable. Janeway leaned over and whispered in her ear, thoroughly enjoying the situation unfolding before her. The engineer glanced sharply at her, and then smiled a little, nodding once.

"Bring forth your lance, your 'Grace'," she said, her voice growing stronger with each word but sliding irreverently over his 'title'. A shocked smile lit Paris' face like starshine, and he remounted his horse and came closer, dipping his lance towards her. She bent down and ripped a piece of yellow cloth from the inner hem of her dress, and quickly, before she could change her mind, leaned over the rail and tied it to the end of the lance. Paris' hand came up to his head in a brief salute, and he turned and rode back to the end of the field.

"No fair, Maquis," Harry yelled down the field, grinning like a fool.

"You'd never win anyway, Starfleet," she called back affectionately, settling back into the chair next to the captain. Then suddenly she brought a hand up to her face, covering it momentarily, and groaned. "I can't believe I just did that."

Janeway patted her shoulder in comfort. "Chin up, B'Elanna. We'll talk about it officially some other time, but personally, you have my blessing. The rest of the crew will fall into line."

B'Elanna gaped at her, and then her face softened into a grateful smile. "Thank you, Captain; we've been worrying about whether or not you approve."

"I can hardly expect the crew to put their lives on hold for seventy years. I been expecting someone to be the first to make the move towards a shipboard relationship...I'm glad we will have an example amongst the senior crew when I start to make changes to the fraternization policy." There, that was worded well, Janeway congratulated herself, keeping her eyes fixed firmly on the two officers who were prepping for their first charge.

The example should come from higher up, B'Elanna thought, shooting a look at the captain under her lashes. "We'll do our best," she said, lightly, and then leaned forward in her chair as Harry and Tom kicked their horses into action.

A whoop came up from the crowd as one man was easily knocked from his saddle to the ground.

B'Elanna sat back in her chair, laughing in disbelief until her sides ached, as Tom Paris stood up and dusted himself off. The captain was on her feet, calling congratulations to Harry, who was smiling widely from his seated position. Brief anger flashed across Paris' face, but it quickly vanished as Harry offered him a hand from above. The blonde pilot took it, his grin flashing, as he said something to his friend no one could hear but had the young ensign laughing loudly. He then gestured to someone at the side, who came forward and took his horse away. Straightening his shoulders and brushing off his dignity, he walked off the field and took his seat behind the captain. B'Elanna wiped a few tears of laughter from her eyes and took her proper seat next to him as Janeway turned around with a smile.

"Good work, Tom," she said quietly, and he nodded, his throat tightening a little as he caught her message. The Paris of old would have made a scene or ridiculed Harry, pulling him down from his horse. But this Tom Paris had grown in the Delta Quadrant, maturing into what his teachers at the Academy had always hoped to see in him. The captain's pride settling over him like a mantle, he sat back in his chair, B'Elanna's favor in his hand now. The half-Klingon took it from him, tying it around his wrist with a small bow, and then clasped his fingers in hers.

"Don't worry--you'll get your chance at hand to hand combat later," she murmured into his ear. He raised an eyebrow at her, a wicked gleam in his eyes answering that of her own.

"I'll let you win, B'Ela," he said.

"Let me win, Paris? You have no idea."

~

As the day went on, Janeway was joined in the box by Neelix and the Doctor, and then later by Harry, who lost in the fifth round to Ensign Christopher. Tuvok gave an impressive showing in the hand to hand combat rounds, placing first after eight rounds. Chakotay, however, didn't take part in any of the events. He spent the day trotting up and down the sides of the field, organizing the competition, lining up entertainment, calling out orders, and staying far away from the captain's box. If he walked over once, he feared he would never leave, or worse, tell her what was going to happen at the final duel. She was the only one who didn't know, and he had no idea how she would react. Probably not well, but at this point, there wasn't anything to lose.

Janeway found her gaze upon him many times throughout the day. Twice when Harry had advanced to the next round their eyes had met across the field, both times he had smiled and nodded and then found something to do quickly. She was a little surprised by his behavior; he was the only crew member who was not treating her like "one of their own." Considering that there had been times over the last four years when he had been the only one to treat her as a friend and not a captain, this was a big turnaround. She lifted her chin in the middle of these thoughts, determined that her first officer's inattention to her would not affect her or her enjoyment of her birthday.

Finally, the sun was drawing low in the sky as the announcer called for the final duel. The combatants had chosen hand to hand combat, he shouted, and then he summoned forth Lieutenant Commander Tuvok to fight the Captain's Champion.

"The what?" Janeway asked, turning in her chair to face her senior crew. Tuvok, Paris, B'Elanna, Harry, Neelix and the Doctor all exchanged glances before the Vulcan spoke.

"The crew has unanimously selected someone to fight the day's victor on your behalf, Captain. According to the Earth rituals Lieutenant Paris researched, he has been titled your 'Champion' for the fight."

"We hope you understand, Captain," B'Elanna said impulsively, as Tuvok stood and strode onto the field. Janeway turned back around, and comprehension dawned immediately.

Chakotay stood in the middle of the field, his head high, the clothing he wore suddenly significant to her. Now she understood why he had not taken part in any of the earlier events; now she understood the black and red in four panels--command colors, one for each of the pips she usually wore; now she understood his reticence to talk to her. He met her gaze evenly, letting little show on his face as he walked a little closer and bowed.

"I shall endeavor to defend you to the best of my ability, Captain, and be worthy of the choice your people have made," he said, his voice carrying to the hushed crowd. His hidden promise was not lost on Janeway, who sat very still in her chair for a long moment as his eyes asked for what his voice and pride would not allow. Slowly, carefully, she rose from her seat, her hands rising to her hair without trembling, she was grateful to realize. Gently she tugged one of the silver ribbons loose and gestured him forward. His eyes widened as he understood, and slowly he moved towards her as she came down from the box and joined him on the edge of the field.

"You have always been worthy, Chakotay," she said quietly, her eyes telling him what her voice and protocol would not quite allow. A quick glance at what he was wearing made her decision for her, and she knelt on the ground and laced her ribbon through his boot straps, tying it tightly. Then she stood back up, a hesitant smile in her eyes, a slightly apprehensive look on her face, as if she couldn't believe what she had just done. "Good luck," she said simply.

"Kathryn--"

"We'll talk about it later. I expect you to trounce Tuvok royally," she smiled.

An answering grin brought his dimples back out. "I've been looking forward to it for four years," he replied before turning and striding out onto the field.

Chapter Text

Hundreds of candles lit the hall, reflecting off china and crystal and illuminating warmly. Long tables surrounded a wide dance floor, and a small quartet rested on a dias tucked away in a corner. The sounds of conversation and laughter mingled widely, as the crew of Voyager celebrated with the dinner their pooled replicator rations had provided. It was incredibly elaborate and remarkably delicious, and touched Janeway as so many things had that day. She sat at a raised table with her senior officers, and in the carved chair next to her sat the "knight of the night."

Chakotay.

She smiled remembering the hour long duel he and Tuvok had fought, recalling how each had nearly lost several times before Chakotay finally pinned the tall Vulcan to the ground and he had conceded the victory. She remembered how the two had shaken hands gravely, and how Tuvok had walked her first officer over to her box and bowed as he took the seat next to her. The crew had leapt to their feet, B'Elanna, Tom and Harry leading the delighted cheer.

And she had fully realized the meaning of the day, of the small gestures they had made, of the cryptic comments B'Elanna had been making.

They were giving their own blessing, in a way. Even Tuvok. Telling her it was okay to move on, okay to alter the structure of the life they had all been living. Telling her that her happiness mattered too. Telling her that they approved of the man she had only just realized she had chosen nearly two years before.

So there they sat at dinner, unable to make conversation, as their crew sat around them and made up for it with their uproarious laughter and their mutual friendly teasing. Toast after toast was proposed, each more outrageous than the last, until finally dinner was over and it was time for the dancing to begin. Paris rose to his feet, glass in hand, and waited until the crowd quieted.

"Computer, open a ship-wide channel," he said. "On behalf of the senior officers, I would like to thank the crew for their contributions to the ration fund and their assistance in planning this day." Applause rang through the hall, and then died down as he raised a hand to silence them again. He cleared his throat self-consciously, glancing at Janeway, and then back at the crew as B'Elanna squeezed his arm in support. "Four years ago, I can't imagine that any of us wanted to be here. Hell, I sure didn't, despite what was waiting for me back in the Alpha Quadrant. But now--somewhere along the road I realized that I had stopped thinking of the Alpha Quadrant as home, because Voyager had become my home. And you had become my family. It wasn't easy to make that journey, and I never could have made it without Captain Janeway and her belief in me, in all of us. This party is the only way we could think of to show her how much we appreciate all she has done for us. I wish her a long and happy life, here on the home she helped us build, or anywhere our journeys may take us."

Janeway listened, first with a smile, and then with damp eyes and trembling mouth as Paris yielded the floor to crewmember after crewmember and each department made her a personal tribute. She had come to the Delta Quadrant chasing fugitives from the Federation, and she had found a home, and a family. Somewhere along the road, as Tom had said, it had become increasingly less important to return "home." Yes, she still wanted to see Earth again, and she wanted to reunite her crew with their families. But against the odds, they had created something here on this starship that she hadn't thought possible, and she knew that if they never made it home they could still be happy. They would be happy. They were happy. She had never imagined they would use such an elaborate way to show her, but they had.

Finally, Chakotay stood beside her, gesturing to the crew so they all rose to their feet. He smiled down at her, and then out at the assembly, as he raised his right hand and laid it over his heart. She watched as each crewperson did the same, and when she realized what they were about to do, she stood up and lifted her own hand in the air.

"Captain, please--the crew wants to do this."

Janeway laughed a little, looking up at him--he was so much taller when she wasn't wearing Starfleet issue boots. "I don't know if I could take an oath of fealty right now, Chakotay, if that's what you have planned; why don't you let me combine it with my own words instead? Trust me."

"You know I do."

She nodded, regarding him gravely in return, and then turned to face the group. "I know what you are trying to do, and I appreciate it. More than I can tell you. Four years ago I made a decision that profoundly affected all of our lives, yet you have followed me all this way and worked beside me. Yes, as Captain of this ship, it was my choice to make--ultimately. And yes, I chose a path that has not been easy, or short, with no sign of ending anytime soon. We have done what some people would call the impossible during our time in the Delta Quadrant. We have merged two crews--Starfleet and Maquis--into a unified, cohesive whole. We have skirted death, many times. We have risked losing the ship, risked being stranded here forever. And we have encountered beings and places that no one has ever seen before, charted and recorded the experiences though we may never be able to deliver the logs to the Federation.

"I know that this is the first time I have ever said 'never' to you. Perhaps it took me a little while longer to realize what you have already accepted. We may never see the Alpha Quadrant again in our lifetimes. Do I hope to? Absolutely. Am I determined to never stop trying? Yes. But I have come to understand, through your actions and words, that the promise I made to you has already been fulfilled: I promised to get you home. And I have--we have. Together.

"So I stand here before you: Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. Our mission remains unchanged. We are still the only Federation ship 'assigned' to the Delta Quadrant. We will continue to uphold the principles of Starfleet and the Prime Directive, and we will continue to explore and map and chart our way back to Earth. And if we don't reach it, I only hope that someday our children do. But I'm not giving up--there are people back there who want us back, and I have faith that we will see them again. On this day, my birthday, which you have honored in a way I could never have imagined, I pledge to you that I will continue to do everything I can to uphold the quality of life onboard this ship and to get this crew...home."

She lowered her hand to her breast, returning the salute they were all giving her, and they stood in the ensuing silence for a long moment before Neelix shouted, "Strike up the music!"

The crew dispersed, the moment broken, and she quietly closed the channel. She knew Chakotay still stood beside her, but she couldn't turn and look at him. Not yet. The emotions that the day was dragging up from within her were too close to the surface, too raw, too evident in her eyes. She busied herself with straightening her dress--her beautiful dress that she was sure he had chosen--and heard him speaking to Tom, to B'Elanna, to Harry. Then, she heard him fall silent, and she knew he was waiting. Slowly, carefully, she turned to him, her expression unreadable.

Chakotay ran through several sentences in his mind at once, unsure of what to say or how to say it. Over the past few months, several crew members had come to him on personal business: they wanted to be married, or to start a family, or to rearrange their quarters. They wanted to know if the policies on crew relationships were going to change since they were still so far from Starfleet. They wanted to show the captain that they were ready and willing to accept changes in the structure of things, but they didn't know how to approach it. Would the Commander help?

The Commander would. Of course, he had his own selfish reasons for wanting the policies changed; he hoped that Janeway would at least reopen the discussions they had begun on New Earth. He thought that if she saw the whole crew stood behind them, that she might be open to relaxing her own rigid standards of protocol to let him into her life. They had grown very close over the years, sharing meals and laughter and confidences, and even though they had been troubled for a long time after their encounter with the Borg that brought them Seven of Nine, he felt that they were passing that every day. There was still a wall between them, but it had lowered, and he thought she might have stepped over it when she tied the ribbon on his boot.

He smiled to himself, reliving that moment in his mind. He had been afraid she would balk at the crew's choice of him as "Champion," and that she would be angry at what they had done. But in the end it had been subtle enough to allow her to set the tone, and she had--in every way he had hoped. Where they went from here, though, was still up to her.

"What are you smiling at, Commander? Or should I say, Sir Chakotay?"

He grinned down at her upturned face. "OK, it was a little contrived--the whole tournament thing--but remember, it was Harry's idea. You don't want to crush him forever by telling him you didn't like it."

Janeway moved a little, laid a hand on his arm. "I loved it, Chakotay. Every minute of it." She looked out over the mass of dancers. "You were right, I don't like a fuss made over my birthday--but how can I not be touched by such a display? If you were trying to make a point to me, you certainly succeeded."

"That was not the original intent, Kathryn," he replied quietly, "but I'm glad it was the result."

His gaze became too direct, too intimate to hold, and she looked away toward the dance floor where her crew was performing a set of intricate figures...and doing them very well, she thought. "How did the crew learn to dance like this?"

"Programs have been available in the holodeck, thanks to Paris, for a month. This was the best-kept secret in the quadrant, ma'am," he laughed. "Even Neelix kept his mouth shut for once, although I'll admit we did think about having the doctor sedate him for the duration of the wait. He almost slipped a few times. For that matter, we all did."

Janeway pondered his words for a minute, and then snapped her fingers, nodding. "So that's what all that talk of swords was that day in the mess hall, when you were arguing with Paris and wouldn't tell me why. And why all the men on the bridge crew looked a little stiff a few weeks ago."

"Guilty as charged. It's been awhile since anyone thought to ride horseback." He, too, turned and looked at the dancers, and then back to her. "Care to dance with your Champion, my liege?" His tone was light, but the look in his eyes was what she once would have called dangerous. Now it was just--disturbing. Good disturbing. Stomach flipping, hands sweating, heart pounding disturbing.

It was, after all, her birthday. Protocol could not be damned--but it could be...stretched. Just a little. Enough to dance with Chakotay.

She held out her hand to him, and he grabbed it quickly, as if afraid she would change her mind. She laughed at him gently so he would know she wasn't mocking his feelings, and his answering smile could have lit the holodeck on its own. He led her out to the edge of the dancers, letting her watch for a few minutes first, and explaining a little of the movement to her. After a little while, she felt as ready as she would ever be, and when the music paused for a new set of figures, they took a place at the corner of the floor and began to dance.

She had always been good at dancing--years of ballet classes had insured that--but she had no idea that Chakotay would be so graceful. He leapt and spun with the best of them, and she knew he must have practiced carefully in anticipation of this moment. She was handed off from partner to partner throughout the song, and was astonished and pleased to see that the men seemed delighted to dance with their captain and took hold of her hand without hesitation. Every time she returned to Chakotay within the figures his eyes darkened a little, and she could feel his gaze on her when she was away.

The final steps of the dance were several lilting, intricate sets with your original partner, and Janeway put her hand in Chakotay's as the began the series. His body moved as one with hers though there was little actual contact, and she thought she had never been a part of anything so intimate in her entire life with her hand in his, his arm at her waist, his eyes piercing into her, his breath on her cheek. There seemed to be an electric current running between them and when the music stopped and they were standing, facing each other, clasped hands upraised, they were both breathing hard. Laughing, they broke into applause with the rest of the group as the musicians struck up a less structured tune and the dancing became a little less formal. Janeway watched B'Elanna move into Tom's arms, albeit a little reluctantly, and smiled maternally over at Harry who was patiently trying to show Seven where to put her feet. A lot of the crew still regarded the former Borg with distrust, especially after the incident with the stolen shuttlecraft, but the unequivocable backing of the entire senior staff was turning the tide slowly but surely.

"Kathryn?"

Janeway's attention snapped back to her first officer, and to their still-clasped hands. Gently, with a small squeeze to take away any possible misunderstanding, she released his hand. "I think that's all the dancing for now, Commander," she said quietly. "I thought maybe we would...leave them to it."

"Captain?"

Janeway turned away again, taking a step to the side to avoid two ensigns from Engineering who were stumbling over each other's feet and giggling. What do you do now, Kathryn? she demanded of herself furiously. She knew what she wanted, yes. She knew it was acceptable to the crew now. She knew--or thought she knew--how he felt. But there had been troubles between them recently, and she needed to make sure they were settled and behind them before they made any further decisions.

"I'd like to take a walk, Commander. Would you join me?"

Silently, he nodded.

~

The corridors of the ship were nearly deserted. Every once in awhile they would see a running crew member--no doubt either on their way to the party or going to relieve someone else for duty--who would slow down, greet them, and then take off again as soon as they thought they were far enough away. They made a brief visit to the Bridge and extracted a promise from Tuvok that he would take Paris up on his offer of relief and at least go eat dinner. Janeway then contacted Paris on the holodeck and told him to return to the Bridge as soon as possible, and insist that the Vulcan leave for a little while.

"I was about to do that anyway, Captain," the pilot said, the noise in the background almost deafening. "Tuvok had more to do with today than you might imagine. Paris out."

Janeway raised an eyebrow at Chakotay, and he shrugged. "Tuvok had a hand in some of the day's happenings, Captain."

"Hmm." she replied noncommittally, walking on. They strolled slowly from deck to deck, sometimes talking--about ship's business, about the day, about past celebrations they had been a part of--sometimes just walking, listening to the faint hum of Voyager's computer systems. It was a strange feeling, being a part of so much advanced technology yet wearing clothes from centuries past. Janeway had a large section of her dress caught up in one hand, and had to fight back the urge several times to grasp one of his with the other. It had been an oddly beautiful day, but she was still the captain.

Finally she told a turbolift to take them to the officers' quarters, and found herself standing between the doors to his and hers. "Would you like a cup of coffee, Chakotay?"

"Not this late at night--but I'll sit with you while you do, if you like. Well, just as soon as I go inside and change into something a little more...recent."

She nodded. "Just come in when you're ready."

They both turned and entered their quarters without a further look.

Janeway activated her privacy lock, knowing he had the code to override it, and went into her bedroom. She struggled a little with the fastenings on her dress as she had when she had put it on earlier, but eventually was able to drop it to the floor. Carefully she picked it up and shook it out, caressing the fabric gently before hanging it in the closet. What do I wear? she thought? Not a uniform. Too...captain. She selected and discarded several outfits in the space of a few seconds, and finally pulled out a simple long sleeved tunic and loose pants, both in dark blue, and slid her feet into slippers. She was just deliberating over her hair when she heard the door slide open.

"I'll be out in a second," she called, taking the rest of the ribbons out and dragging a brush through the curled masses. It framed her face in waves, and she thought about tying it back, but ended up leaving it alone. When she walked out into the living area, Chakotay was talking to someone via communicator.

"...fine, B'Ela. And thanks again...for everything. Good night." He stood there for a second, smiling, and then realized she had entered the room. "Hello, Kathryn."

"Checking up on the party?" she said, moving to the replicator. He had changed into comfortable brown pants and a tan shirt, tucked in, collar open, sleeves rolled up casually. His feet, she saw with some amusement, were bare.

"Just giving B'Elanna some guidelines, but apparently it's winding down. She said everyone is getting tired, and it's almost time for another shift change. Everything will be back to normal by 0700."

"It was a wonderful day," she said, taking her coffee and moving to the couch. He joined her, settling a few feet away as she curled her feet underneath her. "I've never seen such a display; certainly not for me."

"Well, I thought--the crew thought--that you deserved it. But Harry and Tom really deserve the credit, and they'll be hard pressed to top it next year. If we're still out here, that is," he added hastily.

Janeway laid a hand on his arm briefly. "It's okay. I meant everything I said tonight."

"I know."

They sat there in silence for a long while, she sipping her coffee, he staring out the viewport at the planet they were orbiting. It was a companionable silence, yet tension still stretched between them. They both felt it. It had been many months since the last time they had been alone in her quarters like this, many months since a series of emotional disagreements had driven a wedge in the friendship and trust they had created together. It had been a long climb back for them. Janeway had missed Chakotay. Chakotay had missed Janeway. And the crew had missed their harmonious working relationship.

"Tell me about the choice of the Champion," Janeway said finally, her voice light but her tone serious.

Chakotay couldn't pretend he didn't know what she was asking, and he knew that she deserved the truth no matter what effect it would have or what her reaction would be. "It was Tuvok's suggestion, his contribution to the day."

"What?"

"Paris was researching the traditional events of a tournament, adapting them to what we thought would be appropriate, looking for some special way to honor you on your birthday. Tuvok sat in on a few of the planning meetings and never said a word, but one day he came in and said he had found an entry in the history logs of Earth telling of a 'Ruler's Champion.' This person would be chosen by the court to represent the throne in a fight against the best warrior the land could offer up. It was symbolic, showing that the king or queen could always overcome adversity, always win the war, so to speak. Sometimes it was a mock fight, and sometimes not. We decided it would be true combat, and a poll was taken shipwide. It was sent out under the guide of one of my personnel briefings--you received a different report than everyone else."

"Very sneaky, Chakotay," she smiled.

"I was...surprised...first by Tuvok's suggestion, which appeared to carry a...deeper meaning...and then when the crew chose me, almost unanimously. Surprised, that is, until a few people shared with me the thoughts and discussions that have been circulating the ship." He told her of the conversations he had been having with the crew, about starting families, moving on, altering structures. "I told them that this would always be a Starfleet ship, with Starfleet policies and procedures...but maybe we could think about making a few changes, a few adaptations, since so much about our situation is so new and unique. Starfleet couldn't possibly have planned for times like these. They all agreed to go along with whatever was decided. And a few of them told me that--" He stopped for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck, his brow wrinkling up a little. "They told me that they hoped we knew that they would still obey us, still respect us--the senior crew--if any changes took place in our relationships. They would still trust us to make the right decisions, and to be unbiased during emergencies."

Chakotay leaned forward a little, his hands clasped together and resting on his knees. "After I thought about it for a long time, I wasn't surprised anymore, because I can't blame them for thinking of me as your 'champion,' Kathryn. I have made no secret of my respect for your seniority. And I can hardly fault them for such a magnaminous, open blessing of the relationship I have always hoped we would share." There. You've said it.

Janeway drew in her breath at the last statement. "It hasn't been a very good few months for us, has it?"

He shook his head. "No."

"I'm sorry seems insufficient, but I confess I don't know what to say to you now."

Her first officer grunted a little, and his shoulders jerked in a sort of half-shrug. "I am not sure either, to tell you the truth. But I don't think we need to apologize--I think we've put each other through enough already. I think we both realize that substantial blame lies on both sides; that we both made some bad choices." He sighed, meeting her eyes evenly. "I don't have an explanation for my behavior any more than you, I suspect, have for yours. I've certainly learned from it, though, as I have from so many other things since we've been out here."

He stood abruptly, walking to the viewport and looking out. "We certainly do a lot of talking, Kathryn, but we never seem to get anywhere, do we?"

"What do you mean?" she said to his back.

"I mean here we are, as we've been many, many times before, talking in circles, skirting issues. I've become more wordy in my association with you than I've ever been." He sighed, and she could see his smile quirk in the reflection. "I tell you stories, you make ambiguous statements...but we're still standing here, at square one."

Janeway sat quietly for a moment, pondering his words. Weighing options. Balancing duties. Just like he expects you to. Like you've always done, she chided herself. She made a decision. Took a step. A small one, first, to see how it felt. "Where would you like to be standing, Chakotay?"

Slowly he turned, his eyes warm, tender. Something sparked within them. Seductive. Stunning. He walked towards her slowly, drew her up from the couch, led her to the middle of the floor, and slowly raised their clasped hands in a mimic of the final pose of the dance they had lived together. Was that sound her heart beat, or his? Why was it suddenly so warm, why was her skin so alive? No, she did not feel like humming, damn it! Her lips curved against her will, her eyelashes were heavy on her cheeks, her body moved towards him of its own accord.

"This is where I want to be standing, Kathryn."

How could such a simple statement hold so much promise, so much emotion? When had his voice taken on those husky tones, when had he started to smell so wonderful?

"Chakotay, I--"

She stopped, the words dying on her lips as his gaze slid over her face once, twice.

"Yes, Kathryn?"

Her sharp yank on his wrist brought their bodies crashing together. His arms closed around her like steel, and her hands were crushed between them. He laughed down at her, his soul soaring. "That's taking control of the situation, Captain."

Janeway dissolved into giggles, as the part of her that commanded Voyager stepped back and looked on in disapproval. Giggling, Kathryn? she reprimanded. And look where you're standing. These thoughts only spurred her merriment, as she stood in her first officer's arms and they held each other up. "Oh, Chakotay, this is so far from normal."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Captain, may I remind you that we are nearly seventy years from the Alpha Quadrant. I am a former Maquis rebel and you are the officer commanded to bring me into custody. We are serving together on a Starfleet ship with Starfleet nowhere to be seen. Very little about this situation is normal--or logical." His deadpan imitation of Tuvok sent her off again, and she managed to loosen one of her hands enough to wipe at her eyes.

Her other hand was warm against his chest, despite the cloth that separated flesh from flesh, and the laughter falling from her lips warmed his heart. There seemed to be only one course of action left to take.

He kissed her.

There was a moment of shock at the first touch of his lips to hers, but it took only seconds for the hunger she had been suppressing for over two years to surface. To make the final decision. When he slipped their clothing to the floor several minutes later, her only response was to wind her arms around him and let the waves carry both of them away.

Chapter Text

"Torres to the Captain."
"Torres to Janeway."
"Captain?"

Janeway came awake with a start, rolling over and fumbling upwards for the comm switch on her terminal. "Janeway here." Oh, you sound--

"Captain, are you okay?"

"Fine, Lieutenant. What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to let you know that we'll be ready for your Engineering inspection whenever you can make it down here." The inspection--what time-- Her eyes caught the chronometer. 0900? She felt the body next to her shift, heard a sleepy groan. Hoped no one else had heard it. "I'll be there as soon as I can--I seem to have overslept."

"Don't worry about it, Captain--the Commander rearranged your duty shift so you would be off today; we can have the inspection at any time during alpha shift. Torres out."

B'Elanna turned around with a broad smile for her friends. "Holodeck program Kim-Paris Delta four three nine...success!"

Harry rubbed his chin a little guiltily. "I'm still not sure if interfering like that was wise."

Paris clapped him on the back. "Harry, we weren't interfering. Just...offering up an opportunity. It was, after all, the Captain's birthday."

"And she deserves the best," Harry finally agreed.

B'Elanna's smile softened. "She certainly got it."

~

The Commander rearranged my duty shift, did he? Janeway ran a hand through her hair, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. They had never even made it into the bedroom--not the first time, or the second, or the fourth, she thought, blushing. So much for not damning protocol. There was nothing in the Starfleet database about proper behavior when you wake up on the floor of your quarters after having a night of torrid lovemaking with your technically outlaw first officer. She had really done it now. There was no going back, unless she wanted to damage their relationship irrevocably. They had already spent so much time in hurt and distrust. Enough wasted time.

Large hands curved around her stomach gently, warm lips brushed the back of her neck. "Good morning." His touch was sure, his voice--guarded. He was worried. Thought she might have regrets. How long have I known him this well?

She turned in his arms, pulled him to her. Kissed him thoroughly. "Good morning, Commander."

His eyes brightened a little. "I--"

"Sshh." She lay a finger on his lips, shuddered when he took it into his mouth. "It's a lovely morning."

He grinned. "The loveliest."

"I don't think that's a word."

"Shut up, Kathryn."

~

Janeway eased her uniform over aching muscles, rotating her shoulder carefully. She was really too old to behave like that. It was worth it, she smiled to herself. She ran a brush through her hair several times before quickly pinning the sides up and clipping the rest at the nape of her neck. A hand holding a cup of coffee moved into her view, and she looked up and caught the image of her first officer behind her in the mirror. She accepted the offering, raising the cup to her lips.

"Ready for that inspection of Engineering?"

"Are you coming with me?"

"I have the day off, too."

She groaned, turning around to face him. He took the cup from her hands and put it down on the counter, framing her face with his hands and brushing a kiss across her lips. "I'm sure that won't cause any gossip."

"If you don't stop talking that way, I'm going to go back to my quarters, ring up Ensign Donaldson from Security, and invite her in for a cozy dinner."

"You wouldn't dare. I'll throw her in the brig."

"I'm sure that won't cause any gossip if the reason gets out." His eyes twinkled at her. "Everyone knows, Kathryn; they practically wrapped me up and gave me to you yesterday."

She stared up at him, and the last of her resolve faded away. "It certainly was fun unwrapping," she quipped.

He muffled his laughter in her hair, hugging her tightly.

"But Chakotay?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Do you think next time we could try to make it into the bedroom?"

FINIS